My life is upside down when you note the recent path I’ve taken.  However, on the surface… I’ve lost tons of weight and my new house is unpacked and lovely. 

It’s M-Y SPACE.  MY lovely space!  I’m thrilled with this idea and am taking complete pride in my surroundings.  Things can be – and stay! – wherever I want them to be.  The only dirty dishes in the sink (if ever) will be the ones I decide to leave there for later.  Like a force to be reckoned with, I was completely unpacked and my new home practically fully decorated in about 48 hours.  Talk about putting your mind to something!  The untarnished slate I’m now living upon is my saving grace and I cherish every square inch of it.

Eerily, it’s impossible to ignore the fact that (after the very first night in my new place) I have been sleeping like a BABY.  An absolutely content, safe, happy baby!  Oh, how magnificent life looks through properly rested eyes and settled thoughts!!

I realize that even though I’m physically out and have filed for divorce, this is not over, not yet cleaned up, not yet done – but I can’t help but acknowledge the fact that, without him, I am sleeping well.  And, in retrospect, my long-lived insomnia began seven years ago – just one month after we began dating.  I’m not sure what that all means – besides the fact that my soul has not known peace for a VERY LONG TIME.  I am so grateful that I’m a strong enough person to have just done what I’ve done.  Although I need to eventually answer for my own peace of mind why I was there in the first place, I know that I now have a better life ahead of me… 

Yes, my dad is still dying.  But I have been saved – by some grace of God. 

It makes me wonder odd things, like if maybe Dad’s illness has been for a reason.  Maybe Dad got sick by fate in order to teach me the ultimate, final lesson he had for me: what a good life consists of and never to settle for less than that, less than I deserve.  That is a comforting thought, that maybe Dad isn’t just sick, that maybe it was his last selfless act for the greater good of his only daughter.

“Bhagwan ka diya sab kuch hai par man ki shanti nahi hai” [I have everything given by God, but no  peace of mind.....these were the words of a rich person, addressed to a saint.

The saint replied " Bhagwan ka diya to sabkuch hai tumahare paas, par bhagwan nahi hai : ), is liye ab bhagwan ko paane ka khyaal karo , tabh hi man ki shanti hogi : )[You have everything given by God, but you dont have God, So now focus on getting God, only then you will have peace of mind and heart. ]

There is a miniature man
inside my skull
tap-dancing
on my corpus callosum
to the beat of blood vessels
wrapped tight around my temples.

He is tempting my brain
to split
and let each hemisphere fend for itself.
They’re always arguing anyway.
Feel this!
No, do that!
I can’t bear to hear them bicker anymore.

So maybe the man is right.

I will compartmentalize
each reality I realize
and access only one axiom at a time.

Contradictory beliefs,
you are no longer allowed to cross paths
or even approach the bridge
to leave change
for our resident street-artist tap-dancer in-training.

He will starve to death eventually,
without your handouts
and propaganda.

It sounds cruel,
but it’s just self-defense.

I can’t find peace
in pieces.

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By my teenage years, I knew I hated myself. I hated my looks, personality, behavior – you name it, I hated it. Today I have largely vanquished the monster of self-hate, replacing it ever more surely with what I’ve always craved: peace of mind. As a result, I’ve reconnected with what I consider the true me, the linda Linda – truly beautiful, loving, and talented – with amazing gifts to share with the world.

But how?

First, I had to recognize the beast. Self-hatred is insidious and well-disguised. From my own experience, I’ve identified these questions as indicators of self-hate.

Do you:

• Beat yourself up for things you’ve said or done? Sometimes for weeks on end?
• Put yourself down, in your head and/or to others?
• Deny yourself pleasures?
• Put others’ needs before your own?
• Have trouble recognizing your own needs, never mind finding ways to meet them?
• Feel guilty if you take care of yourself before others?
• Have frequent negative thoughts about yourself?
• Deflect compliments?
• Compare yourself negatively to others?

Because my self-hatred took many years to develop and burrow its way into my psyche, it has taken many years to reverse the damage. The single-most powerful tool I have found is self-care.

Taking care of myself can be as basic as the essentials – food, water, shelter, sleep, safety – and as complex as emotional and spiritual nurturing. The next few blog posts will focus on how the practice of self-care can slowly but surely, incrementally but consistently, combat the impact of a lifetime of self-hatred.

It’s true. I’m insanely, completely in love with and committed to my serenity.

For me, serenity means peace of mind. Literally, having a mind at peace. It’s important to me that I can maintain my serenity no matter what is going on around me. I devote a significant amount of time and energy to this pursuit so that I always know, whether I have calm or drama in my personal relationships, whether work is going smoothly or threatens my financial security, whether the world is at peace or at war, I can keep my mind clear and easy.

Today I can bring my mind to a peaceful place most of the time. But it wasn’t always so. As a child, I developed a great deal of anxiety, which evolved into thought patterns that were full of fear. I learned to anticipate the negative, and to ignore the possibility of the positive. I fell into hating almost everything about myself, from my outer appearances to my inner core.

For years I was mired in chronic depression, knowing that something was wrong, but unable to identify what exactly it was. All I really knew was that I wanted to feel better. It’s taken many years and numerous avenues of help to identify what was missing. Peace of mind.

To find my way to a consistently peaceful mind, I’ve had to overcome the damages of my past, and my fears of the future. I’ve learned that when I can be fully present – paying attention to what is happening here and now without reference to past or future – then I am most peaceful. When I’m in the present, I feel good about myself and the world, about myself in the world. Sometimes I call that feeling God, sometimes just the universe, sometimes unconditional love.

My antidote to self-hatred is peace of mind.

It may sound simple, but it’s not easy. Organized religion never worked for me, and so I’ve made my own way along a path of truth for myself. From many sources, I’ve developed a set of behavioral and emotional tools and techniques that continually remind me to return to the present. I look forward to sharing that path with you and hearing about yours.

Steve Denney pointed me to a book that is on the top of my list to buy now: When Nietzsche Wept. He wrote a short entry about the book as Another Reason God Won’t Die,” following up on his earlier article for Political Cartel.

This quote from the book really spoke to me and made me want to read it even more:

There [is] a basic division of the ways of men:  those who wish for peace of soul and happiness must believe and embrace faith, while those who wish to pursue the truth must forsake peace of mind and devote their life to inquiry.

TODAY’S VERSE
“I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

TODAY’S THOUGHT
Have you ever had a crisis of faith? You know a time when you so filled with grief, sorrow and anger that you didn’t know where God was? Most of us have wrestled with this passage. Sure when things are good its message is perfectly clear, but when you are in agony you are tempted to say, “What is this passage talking about? Where is my peace of mind and heart?” It is then that I need to remind myself of the context in which Jesus said these words. Read the whole chapter and you will see that Jesus has just introduced a whole other reality. It was a cosmic introduction to the blending of this world and the next. Jesus was getting ready to go back to His father. He was about ready to face an unbearable death and spiritual suffering we cannot imagine. He was only moments from when He too would say, “Father, why have you forsaken me?” And yet, with deep empathy Jesus tells us in the first verse of this chapter not to be troubled because He was about to prepare another reality for us. It was obvious His disciples did not understand, so He tells them that He is going to give us the Holy Spirit to comfort us and help us in this world till we reach the next. And then Jesus shares today’s verse, “I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” He was right. The world cannot give us peace during our dark nights of the soul. Neither can religion. Only in blending this world and the next can we even begin to make any sense of our suffering here. Only in a larger reality can we find any peace in this dimension. Jesus came so we could live in both. I pray that today you will be able to have a glimpse of this world in light of the next and see that Jesus is the Lord of both. And may that reality begin a process of peace even in your darkest hour.

TODAY’S PRAYER
Dear Jesus, there are times when I ask, “Where is the peace in the darkest nights of the soul? Where is the comfort in such unbearable pain?” And yet, today I see that You who suffered such pain and anguish, have taken the harsh realities of this world and blended them with the next life. Please help my heart live in both realities. Help me today begin to experience the peace that You are talking about.
AMEN

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“Your inner purpose is to awaken. It is as simple as that. Finding and living in alignment with the inner purpose is the foundation for fulfilling your outer purpose. It is the basis for true success.” Eckhart Tolle

Making this “it” whether I am at the mall, in the car, doing dishes, walking down the road, etc, my inner purpose.  In a talk (session 9) between Oprah and Tolle they discuss this idea and the inner and outer purpose of our lives.  I’m working with this idea in my own life – and the key it seems for me is to answer this question moment by moment. Is life OK as it is?  If I allow myself to be fully in the present with what is, is that enough?  I am loving this learning  and realizing that the more I resist anything in my reality the more discomfort I feel.

I hope you keep finding your peace with the moment wherever you are now.  I am in a strip mall in a part of the country that is not my home, and yet it is where I am! I am. I am.  Oh boy!  Check out the free podcasts – I’m really loving hearing it again and imagine I will listen again because it’s a lifelong adventure for me.  Love what Eckhart says in the 9th session with Oprah on just that – allowing life to be an “adventure.”  So much easier for me when I am hanging on a cliff or sailing the big seas – so being in a strip mall is probably perfect for me now.

Coyote Karrick. Relationship & Life Coaching. coyotekarrick.com

How do we still our mind? How do we fill our minds with positive thoughts and create peace of mind and heart?

Peace of Mind  is  precious and so difficult to  obtain and maintain

Peace of Spirit a rare gem when attained priceless to the owner

Peace on Earth as it should be, yet mankind continues to struggle and fight.

Everyday we are bombarded by troubles, financial issues, health concerns, media drama and it is enough to make us scream.  It is said by those who have ascended, the ascended masters, we must meditate. How can we do a meditation with our minds exploding with negative thoughts?  WE MUST find peace of mind or we will lose our connection with the divine.

Find the time, if only for five minutes to clear your mind and breathe.  Listen to your breath and allow time to clear your mind.

Tonight on Spiritually Speaking WBZT 1230 AM  www.wbzt.com.  join me as we discuss tips for clearing your mind and gaining more peace. I send you peace and blessings,

Sarah

PROFIT IS LOSS AND LOSS IS PROFIT.

                                               — V.C : )

[It means that the more profit you get , the more your greed will increase (jimi prati labh, lobh adhakai). On the other hand if you suffer loss, your greed will come down and your contentment level will increase and therefore your peace of mind, so profit is loss and loss is profit : ]

“True success is always accompanied by peace of mind.  As long as you express fear, resentment, criticism and other negative emotions—which result in a lack of peace—it is not possible to attain very much in life.  The act of blessing brings peace within and without.  You can be a peacemaker to any situation by blessing it, rather than condemning it.  So bless pain, financial problems, trouble-some personalities, or worrisome conditions with the thought, “Peace. Be still.””  Catherine Ponder

 Take a look at how you are living your life today.  Do you feel successful? Do you feel peaceful?  There is a correlation.  Does your life express fear and criticism or trust, promise, and hope?  When we create our businesses and our life from a place of peace rooted deep within—the world senses this.  We form an immediate attraction which draws people and experiences to us.  In order for us to create lives and businesses that make a contribution and bring happiness to our own lives we must be clear about our mission, our offer, and our desired outcome.  Only through clarity can we reach satisfaction in our life.  Peace is cultivated by conscious living and conscious decisions.  In November and December we will be focusing four webinars on this topic and on how to create success and live a life of influence from the inside out and from the feminine perspective http://tinyurl.com/Register4InfluenceAndSuccess.

Women have a natural ability to lead while they value peace.  We are most comfortable in environments of harmony and are often ones to create harmony and peace in our work environments and in life.  In no other time in history has it been as crucial for women to build businesses and live lives that reflect these very important core values and gifts of the feminine.

Have you ever thought about what triggers your eating? Hunger isn’t the only reason people eat.  Efforts to make healthy eating choices can be sabotaged  by eating due to other reasons, such as emotions or thinking patterns.

Try this quiz and see if it helps in identifying your eating habits.

Each number  represents the degree each situation is more likely to make you start eating 1-10, 1 being Very Unlikely to 10 being Very Likely

• SOCIAL
• 1.)  Being Around Others While Eating.
• 2 .)  Arguing or Being in Conflict With Someone
• 3.)  Being Urged to Eat by Someone Else
• 4.)  The Feeling of Inadequacy Around Others.
• EMOTIONAL
• 5.)  Feeling Badly, Such as Anxious or Depressed.
• 6.)  Feeling Good, Happy, or Relaxed.
• 7).  Having Time on Your Hands or Being Bored.
• 8.)  Feeling Stressed or Excited
• SITUATIONAL
• 9.)  Seeing an Advertisement for Food or Eating.
• 10.)  Passing by a Bakery, Cookie Shop, or Fast Food.
• 11.)  Being Involved in a Party, Special Occasion or Celebration.
• 12.)  Eating Out.
• THINKING
• 13.)  Making Excuses to Myself  That it is Ok to Eat.
• 14.)  Berating Myself for Being So Fat or Unable to Control My Eating.
• 15.)  Worrying About Others or the Difficulty I am having.
• 16.)  Thinking About How Things Should be Different.
• PHYSIOLOGICAL
• 17.)  Experiencing Discomfort or Pain.
• 18.)  Experiencing Trembling, Lightheadedness, Headache Associated With Not Eating or Too Much Caffeine.
• 19.)  Feeling Fatigued or Overtired.
• 20.)  Experiencing Urges to Eat or Hunger Pains, Eventho I’ve Already Eaten.
• SCORING –  Total your numbers for each category and mark each category with “1″ next to the highest score and “2″ and so on.  Focus on the highest-ranked areas first, but any score above 24 is high and shows that you need                                                         to work on that area.
• CATEGORIES
• SOCIAL (Items 1-4) _______________,
• EMOTIONAL (Items 5-8) ________________,
• SITUATIONAL (Items 13-16) _______________,
• THINKING (Items 13-16) ______________
• PHYSIOLOGICAL (Items 17-20) _________________.
• Social:  Try reducing your tendency to the influence of others by communicating more assertively and rethinking about the obligations you feel you must fulfill.
• Emotional: Develop stress-management skills and practice positive self-talk to cope with emotions in ways that do not involve food.
• Situational:  Work on controlling your environment and have a plan for handling external cues.
• Thinking:  Change your thinking – be less self-critical and be more flexible – to recognize rationalizations and excuses about eating behaviors..
• Physiological:  Look at the way you eat, what you eat and medications to find ways these factors may be affecting your eating behaviors.

~ It is easier to fix a problem, once we are able to identify there is a problem. Identifying that there is a problem is one step closer to getting to where we want to be.~

Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes. – Incubus

And whatever today brings let me be present with open arms and open eyes!

I keep learning more that if I want to feel peace I have to make peace with the present.  If I want abundance I have to feel gratitude for the good that is.  Now.  If I want friends I have to be a friend.  If I want someone to appreciate me I have to appreciate me.  And so on.  It’s easy enough to think of this in an intellectual way, the trick is the practice.  Only through practice can we really know something.  I think I will be practicing this my whole life;  to make peace with and realize that my effectiveness is only and ever in the here and now.

Somehow this was easier last year on my motorcycle trip – the immediacy of the consequences for not being present as a beginner rider.  Every morning and during riding I was singing with Bob Marley, “Thank you Lord for what you are doing now.”

Cheers today to open arms and open eyes!  I hope I and you behold some and more and eventually all of the good that is.

Hi guys! I’ve been a bad blogger this weekend… whoops! Sorry— I have missed you!

It was a busy and beautiful weekend and I spent as much time as I could outside, which meant a lot less time at the computer. It was a nice break, actually. I think after my Friday night pizza craze I needed a little break from food blogging. As much as I love it, I do think it puts a lot of pressure on me to eat perfectly and it hard not to think about body image when I am blogging all day. I guess it was a much-needed break.

Thank you all, though, for your very nice and supportive comments. I know we all go overboard sometimes, it just makes you feel a bit like a sham when you write a food & healthy living blog!

Since I have so much to catch you up on, I will do a quick weekend recap.

Saturday I did my best to eat cleanly and healthily, which for me means eating smaller portions, lots of fruits and veggies, and less carbs, cheese, and chocolate. When I woke up, I went straight to the gym. I was feeling uninspired and I saw that a Cardio Sculpt class was starting. I had never done one, but I am so glad I tried it! It was an hour of cardio- crazy moves that really got my heart rate up and had me sweating up a storm. We incorporated  light weight into a lot of the moves and I love it! I will definitely be going again. I am still sore today (Monday) so it is clear that the class really woke my body up and used certain muscles that I don’t normally engage while exercising.

I wasn’t hungry at all until about noon on Saturday, when I made a smoothie for me and Loren using lots of frozen berries, mango, and almond butter. I used a mix of almond milk and water to add some liquid. Frozen fruit is the trick to a great smoothie because you then don’t have to add ice. The flavor isn’t watered down at all.

This hit the spot. I’ve been in the mood for smoothies ever since it got cold outside. How weird is that? I didn’t drink many this summer, but now I want them all the time!

Loren and I headed to Prospect Park where we had a really nice walk up hills and in the wooded areas (it’s a pretty wild park). Around 4, I was finally hungry for something substantial, so we stopped at a coffee shop that I love right by the park with great sandwiches.

Loren and I split a turkey, avocado, and arugula sandwich on whole wheat. I didn’t have my camera with me, but I did have my trusty blackberry!

We walked all the way home (probably 2-3 miles) so we got some great exercise in… while having fun! It was a beautiful day out and all I wanted to do was stay in the sun. I wanted to make salmon for dinner, but when we got to the fish shop, they were out of wild salmon and only had farmed. So we went back home to see what we could put together. We decided to wait a little bit to eat dinner, so I munched on some veggies and a little bit of dip.

We made a salad with lots of veggies, green apple and a sprinkle of goat’s milk feta. I made a honey mustard dressing using honey mustard, EVOO, balsamic vinegar, rice wine vinegar, and a little bit of maple syrup. I topped my bowl with some Applegate farms turkey bologna for protein. Not very pretty, but it tasted great!

We also split a baked sweet potato. I put a small dab of butter, cinnamon, salt and pepper on mine. Again, not very pretty, but tasty!

Sunday I had two meals out with friends. I tried my best to select things that I would enjoy (i.e. not diet food) and that would be healthy as well. We had brunch around 12:30 and I had 2 poached eggs on an English muffin with smoked salmon. I asked for the Hollandaise sauce on the side, and didn’t really end up eating it. It was delicious without it. I ordered a side of fruit and I was impressed with the amount they gave me and the variety: apple, pear, figs, and mango. Instead of OJ, I got an iced tea.

They also brought out delicious mini apple muffins while we waited for our meal, so, of course, I had one of those.

When we got back to Brooklyn, we went back outside (another glorious day) for a long walk and a grocery shop. When we got back around 4, we had a snack. Another smoothie (pear, banana, almond butter, frozen berries) and we split my last Glo-bar! Sad. They were so good! I may have to order more.

It had Chia Seeds in it. Yum!

At 5, I went to a 90 minute yoga class. It was much-needed! I felt so much more relaxed and in the present when I left. I love yoga and I made a vow to do it once a week at the studio right by my house. Sunday is a great day for it because it starts my week off in the right tone.

Around 8, my friend Charlotte came all the way down to Brooklyn (thanks, Char!) to have dinner with moi. I have known Charlotte since we were little babies, so being with her is like hanging out with my sisters. We went to Buttermilk Channel, a restaurant I’ve been wanting to try for a while. The food is local, organic, fresh- all that good stuff! We split a squash appetizer but sadly the picture got deleted off of my camera! For dinner, I ordered the burger- which was home ground, local beef. I know that there have been a lot of beef scares lately (my TJ’s was having a beef recall yesterday), but I think you can eat beef, just be smart about it. Get a piece of beef and then ask for it to be ground, or order it at a restaurant like this one, where it is ground in-house. Then you know you are eating the meat of 1 cow, not 20. Much healthier! Here is a really informative article about hamburgers/ ground beef if you would like to read more on the topic.

The burger was great! It had pickles and onions on top. I asked for a salad instead of fries, which was a light contrast to the burger. I ate 1/2 of the bun and the whole patty- just didn’t need all of that bread.

It was a really nice way to end the weekend. Now that I am finished with law school applications, I have my free time back- and I don’t know what to do with all of it. For one, I am going outside to enjoy another beautiful day before heading to work. Have a great day!

Author: Ade Anifowose
Source: ezinearticles.com

Can you believe it? Its April 2009!! Do you remember when 2009 felt like an idea that you could not wrap your mind around? When we project into the future, the idea seems so far fetched; and when we are experiencing “that future”, we feel like it (the future) is slipping away.

Time has become a disease-causing factor. Too many people are stressed out today because they are forever running around trying to beat the clock. They speed down the highway trying to get to work on time even though they left late.

Speeding will not change the fact that you are late!

Some people view time as a symbol of success. When a project is completed “on time,” a person may feel that he has achieved success. When this same person misses a time deadline, he beats himself up. This is hardly the best way to live life. We will not always complete everything on time, be everywhere on time, or get it all done!

“Time is money!”, “I don’t have the time!”, “I’m too busy!”. How many times have we made these statements? I believe that the whole busy mindset is about the fear of “time.

” — afraid we are going to run out of time, that we won’t get it done — which is really rooted in the fear of dying. So we try to get it all done before we die, hoping that we will be happy once it done.

While running to meet deadlines, we often ignore the experience – the growth experience. The problem with deadlines is you actually arrive dead “ended.” The end – a feeling of, “Well that’s it, its done, what’s next?” OK! I know it is important to have a time line for things we want to accomplish.

However, if success means meeting deadlines, then its time to wake up.

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.” – Albert Einstein

Life is really about experiences. The more we experience, the more aware we become about life; the better our understanding of who and what God is; and the better our understanding of self.

A shift in consciousness is required in order to enjoy the experience of life. When we change our focus and decide to free ourselves from the stopwatch of life; and choose to recognize and celebrate new awareness, new experiences, new thought in every moment, our perspective of life changes.

You begin to notice that you are fully participating in the process of life. Freedom comes when one chooses to enjoy the growth experience of every and any given moment. This frees you from the guilt of the past and fears of the future. Life becomes delicious. Joy is abound, happiness flows and you will be harmoniously in alignment with your heart’s desires.

We are here to grow and express our unlimited potential, not to be graded by how well we competed with time. Therefore, what happens at the end of the line is less important than what happened on the way to the “end” of the line.

If we choose to focus on what happens on the way to the “end” of the line, we will open ourselves up to a new reality and see that there is, in fact, no end,, www.chase.com, just another moment to experience…another moment to evolve and embrace.

There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to, www.chase.com, do the, www.chase.com, most important thing.- Brian Tracy

Ade Anifowose is a Speaker, Talk Show Host & Spiritual Counselor.. http://www.LifeConversationsRadio.com

Note: It’s not in the key on the CD. It’s in the key she did it in the prayer room on Oct. 28th. The key for the CD is 1 step up.

F#m, A, Bm, D

When I am afraid I will trust in You
When I’m overcome I will cling onto
The Rock that is higher
He’s higher
The Rock that is higher

F#m, E, D, C#m

When my enemy’s too strong for me
I don’t know how to fight the fear
That comes against my heart of mine
I call upon the name of Christ
He’s higher, He’s higher, the Rock, He is higher

When my enemy surrounded me
He comes to steal my joy, my peace,
I let go of my reasoning
And fall upon the Rock that is higher
He’s higher, the Rock, He is higher

F#m, D, Bm, E(C# and C#sus 2nd time)

I will not build my life
Upon the passing sands
Of how I feel inside from one moment to the next
But I will love You, Lord
My Rock, my God, my Strength
A precious cornerstone the floods of death could never shake

Bm, C#(switches to C#sus also)

Oh, for there is no peace of mind
Outside of Truth in Christ
For the fear is real, and its power can kill
But the stability of our times
The stability of our times
Will be (the rock that is higher, He is higher)

When one is rising
Standing
Walking
Doing something
Stopping
One should constantly concentrate one’s mind on the act
And the doing of it
Not one ones’ relation to the act or its character or value…
One should simply practice concentration of the mind on the act itself
Understanding it to be an expedient
Means for attaining tranquility of mind
Realization, insight, and wisdom.

Bhikshu Ashvaghosha Quotes

When we believe that God is Father
We also believe that such a father’s hand
Will never cause his child a needless tear
We may not understand life any better
But we will not resent life any longer.

William Barclay Quotes

For those who wish to climb the mountain of spiritual awareness
The path is selfless work
For those who have attained the summit of union
With the Lord
The path is stillness and peace.

Bhagavad Gita Quotes

Peace does not dwell in outward things
But within the soul
We may preserve it in the midst of the bitterest pain
If our will remains firm and submissive
Peace in this life springs
From acquiescence to, not in an exemption from, suffering.

Francois de Salignac Fenelon Quotes

Planning a menu on a budget can be easy.  The key word is to plan.  In every household there is someone who is planning the meals and doing the grocery shopping.  Knowing what to buy and how much to buy makes the meal planning process much easier, especially in busy households.  Taking time to go to the store several times a week is not only time consuming, but expensive.  At this point more spontaneous shopping takes place.   Most households have a set amount of money that they can spend on food.  When payday arrives and the budget is figured, then it is time to plan the menus.  Buying food in bulk is cheaper than buying in small quantities.  In my household, we get paid once a month.  So if we can plan on 30 days of meals, we can save a tremendous amount of money in groceries.  Often at the end of the month there will be food left over that can be  contributed to the following  month.

To read more about “Food Budget”, look in the Pages section on left .

“Budgets are the new black,”

USAA Financial Magazine Cover

Kelly Salasin

Before I ever used a budget, I had many (conflicting) notions about them:

They were only for people who had “extra” money.

They were only for people who really struggled financially.

They were for boring people who led rigid lives and preferred to dwell in the nitty gritty.

They took too much time.

They cramped ‘your style.’

Now that I’ve personally experienced budgeting for over a decade, I can say that all the above are:  TRUE– to some degree–and FALSE, to quite another.

My biggest surprise around budgeting is that it lends FREEDOM rather than takes it away; But not on the surface–which is where many assess their lives.

On the surface, budgeting does take time, it does dwell in the details, and it does put containers around your spending “style”, but what it gives in return–PEACE of MIND–is worth every ounce of your resistance.

I didn’t start budgeting until my income was crunched so tightly that I began to rack up a credit card bill on groceries.  That budget, however painful, let me sleep at night.  Later, when our finances expanded, that same budget grew with us, allowing us to prioritize that which was most important to us–namely continued peace of mind, travel and charity.

When we were again faced with an income crunch in the form of unemployment, that same budget stood by our side, supporting us through 2+ years of sanity without accruing credit card debt.

In return for what the budget gives us, we  give back to the budget in the form of a weekly financial meeting that keeps us “current” and “proactive” which helps avoid the stress of continual financial “surprises.”

The Holidays are a great time to “play” with the idea of using a budget. Focusing on this one aspect of spending is simple– and rewarding–and what better time of year to enjoy the true peace of mind that a budget can offer!

In the New Year, you can choose to expand the “practice” of budgeting to other areas of spending–and in the process nurture a friendship that will stick with you–through thick and through thin.

(For information about the upcoming Holiday Budget Party in Southern Vermont on Sunday, December 6, click here.)

Dear Oprah,

Thanks so much for all you’ve done over the last 25 years. For the millions of lives you’ve touched, and the millions of stories you’ve been able to shed light on. You’ve truly been an inspiration to us all. Your passion, your hard-working ethic, and the moral values you hold so dear are simply unmatched. You’ve given so many folks the healthy hope they’ve needed to move forward.

Thanks For It All !!!!

-Hatter & Beanz

This is one of the best guides for choosing an Assisted Living or Nursing Facility, and is from the California Advocates for Nursing Home Reform.

Nursing Home Evaluation Checklist

Ask to see the entire facility, not just the nicely decorated lobby and one wing or floor. Remember that appearances can be deceptive. Though environment is important, try to get a feel for the care provided and how the residents are treated by staff.

Staff

• Are there adequate staff? What is the staff to resident ratio? Are call bells and resident requests responded to in a timely manner (5 minutes or so)?
• Are the staff courteous to residents? Do they treat residents with dignity and respect? Or is the staff attitude condescending? Are childish or otherwise inappropriate nicknames used when speaking with residents? Do staff talk about residents as if they were not present or as if they were children?
• Does the administrator/manager and director of nurses appear to know the residents?
• Is the administrator friendly and receptive to questions?
• Is privacy respected (e.g., knocking on doors before entering rooms, keeping privacy curtains drawn while care is being given)?
• Do staff wear name–tags?
• Are there therapists on staff or does the facility contract out for therapy?
• Is there a licensed social worker on staff? Full–time?
• Does the facility have permanent full–time nurses and certified nurse assistants (CNA’s) or are registry nurses and aides used?
• Are the staff visible and actively assisting residents?
• In addition to English, what languages do the staff speak?
• What is the facility’s communication strategy when a resident’s first language is not English?
• Does the facility conduct background checks before hiring staff?

Resident Appearance

• Are residents up and dressed for breakfast? Does the staff get them up hours before breakfast (too early) or just before lunch (too late)?
• Are the residents well–groomed (shaved, clothes clean, hair combed, nails trimmed and clean)?
• Do residents appear alert, content and occupied? Or are they lethargic, listless or stuporous?
• Are residents comfortably positioned in comfortable chairs? Are they restrained in their chairs or beds? Are they in chairs that have a tray or “lap buddy?”

Resident Rooms

• In which area of the facility would the resident’s room be located?
• How many residents share a room? Generally, rooms should have no more than four beds, at least three feet apart, with privacy curtains around each bed.
• Does each bedroom have a window?
• Is there a bedside stand, reading light, chest of drawers, and at least one comfortable chair for each resident? Is there adequate storage space and is it separate from other roommates?
• Are the beds easy to reach? Is there room to maneuver a wheelchair or Gerichair easily?
• Are call buttons accessible to residents?
• Is there fresh drinking water at the bedside?
• Are residents allowed and encouraged to bring any of their own belongings or furniture? Have residents personalized their rooms?

Facility Environment

• Is there an obvious odor in the facility? Strong urine and body odors may indicate poor nursing care or poor housekeeping. Heavy “air freshener”, deodorants, and other temporary chemical cover–ups may be substitutes for conscientious care and maintenance.
• Is the facility maintained at a comfortable temperature? Do the rooms have heating, air conditioning, and individual thermostats?
• Is the facility clean, well–lit and free of hazards? Do you see soiled linen or is it properly disposed of? Is there adequate linen?
• Is furniture sturdy and comfortable?
• Are floors clean and nonslippery?

Hallways, Stairs and Lounges

• Are halls free of obstacles and debris?
• Are stairways and exits clearly marked?
• Are there handrails in all corridors?
• Are fire extinguishers visible? Is there a disaster plan posted and does the facility have drills?
• How many lounge areas are available for residents and visitors? Are they clean and confortably furnished? Is there sufficient room for visiting?

Bath and Shower Rooms

• Are bathrooms conveniently located?
• How many residents share a bathroom?
• Do bathrooms have handgrips or rails near all toilet and bathing areas?
• Is there a call button near the toilet?
• Do residents have a choice between a shower or bath, how frequent and during which shift?

Kitchen and Dining Areas

• Is the kitchen clean and well–organized?
• Is the food handled and stored in a safe and sanitary manner?
• Is the dining area pleasant, clean and comfortable?
• How many residents eat in the dining area? Is it large enough to accommodate most of the residents? Are there shifts for meals?
• Do chairs fit under the table so that residents are comfortably close to their food?

Menus and Food

Try to visit the facility during a meal. Observe the way the food is served, how residents are assisted with eating and what their reaction is to the food. You can probably buy a meal to sample the food.

• A menu for the current and following week should be posted. If a menu is not posted, ask to see one. Is the food listed on the menu actually being served?
• How often are meals repeated? Are alternatives available, as required by law?
• Does the food appear and smell appetizing? Is it nutritious? Are fresh foods used, or is it mostly canned or frozen? Do residents enjoy the food?
• Are dishes and silverware used, or are disposable plates and utensils used?
• Are those residents who need assistance with eating and who are being fed by nurse’s aides finishing their meals and eating at their own pace? Are assistive devices available to those who may be able to feed themselves with a little help?
• Are meals served at appropriate temperatures?
• What provisions are made for patients who are unable to eat in the dining room?
• Who plans the meals? Is a professional dietician on staff? How are special dietary needs met?

Activities

• Are activity calendars posted? If not, ask for a description of the activity program. Meet the Activity Director if possible.
• Do the activities cover a broad range of interests?
• Are activities tailored to individual preferences?
• Does the facility have outside areas for resident use? Do staff assist the residents in using these areas?
• What activities are available to residents confined to their rooms?
• Do volunteers visit the facility?
• What arrangements are made for residents to participate in religious services of their choice?
• What is done for holidays and birthdays?
• Is there a resident council? When does it meet and what is its function?

Miscellaneous

• Is there a Family Council? When does it meet and who are the officers?
• How often do residents’ physicians visit the facility? It should be at least once every 30 days.
• How long has the facility been operating under the present management? Are there any plans to change in the near future?
• What hospital is used in emergencies?
• What is the billing procedure?
• Who should be contacted when there is a problem?
• How does the facility notify the resident and family members of the time and place of the quarterly care planning meetings?
• Is the Ombudsman Program’s phone number posted?
• Are the results from the last inspection by the Department of Public Health posted?
• Ask to review a copy of the admission agreement. Does the facility demand a “responsible party” signature? What is their “informed consent” policy?
• What is included in the basic costs and what is extra?
• If you are looking at an Alzheimer’s Unit within a facility, what makes it different from the rest of the facility (especially if it costs more)?
• How is transportation provided for trips to hospitals, medical offices, or community functions? Is there a charge?
• How is personal laundry handled?
• Is there a system to protect wanderers? Is it operational? Ask for a demonstration.

Print this off and use as a checklist when evaluating Assisted Living or Nursing facilities. My Nurse First can help families with the decision process of these kinds of choices and help to make life transitions as smooth and comfortable as possible. To learn more visit us at www.mynursefirst.com/solutions