Theme: Alcohol

Aim: To teach the young people that we shouldn’t let anyone pressure us to drink and that Jesus satisfies us in ways that alcohol can’t.

As young people grow up and enter their teenage years, the need to fit in with others can often have negative effects, even on the most secure of people. It can be really hard to stand up against the crowd and say no to drinking. This Rock Solid session challenges your young people to think about the alternatives to drinking that Jesus has given us, why this is better for us, and how to avoid peer pressure.

Key Bible Verses: Acts 2:1-21

1. A belief that, to meet a specific deadline or a performance goal, some corners must be cut;

2. A lack of resources (human or otherwise) or time needed to accomplish a particular task, thereby necessitating some drastic or improper action;

3. Peer pressure;

4. Pressures from higher up the chain of command to produce and to get the job done no matter what;

5. A belief that the decision or act is not really illegal or unethical;

6. A belief that the decision or act is in the individual’s or the organization’s best interest and thus would be condoned by others;

7. A belief that the decision or act will never be discovered; and

8. Fear of authority.

Keep in mind that God, in His sovereignty has placed you in your situation to demonstrate His character to people in desperate need of a model. Job’s intense announcement of his determination to maintain his integrity should serve as an encouragement:

“As long as I have life within me, the breath of God in my nostrils, my lips will not speak wickedness, and my tongue will utter no deceit…till I die I will not deny my integrity. I will maintain my righteousness and never let go of it.“ (Job 27:3-6)

—Facts of the Matter

why.

is the one and only question im asking myself. and i dont have an answer. i have many excuses to justify my actions, just not an answer.

all started out fine today, the morning was going by great, it was only when i saw my best friend little miss sunshine at recess, the first thing she said was, oh mi god dom! i just asked turtle and he said he did like you!

now turtle is a new boy at my school and when he started out he would always sit next to me and talk to me, he has really bootiful blue eyes btw. and everyone would say he like me and was flirting with me.

so when lms (little miss sunshine) told me this, i actually wasn’t too surprised. but then at lunch a few of his friends came up to me and go ‘i know someone who likes you’ and then they made him come up to me and ask me out so because lms told him i would say yes and because i have already rejected him twice, by saying i have a boyfriend in adelaide.  so when he asked at lunch i said yes, then my friends started doing the ‘aww arent they cute… kiss kiss !’ speech and making it all so completly awrkward.

one of my friends, lets call her ranga, even took a photo of us on her phone while we were talking, then when she got home proceeded to upload it onto facebook after sending it to all of our other friends.

then when i got home after coming back from my lil brother hockey grandfinals (he lost) , i was on the computer and a freind of mine, stripy who happens to be extremly cute….and male, who i havent seen for ages, talked to me, and after talking for about half an hour he goes:

hahahaa
i hope we can do something in the hols
btw i reckon you r really pretty
xx

You know, when this first came on the news, I thought so what, who cares. It’s none of our business and it shouldn’t be news. Tiger Woods! I figured something was up. Who’s driving like that in their driveway in the early AM like that but figured, hey, we all fight with our spouse from time to time. Leave him alone for heaven’s sake. Let them have a fight in private!

But, sadly we all know now, he’s messed up pretty good and I personally feel he’s a fool to have texted and left his voice on voicemail and sent emails. Even the great and powerful Tiger Woods can’t get past technology.

I didn’t really think to much of it until I watched The View this morning and pretty much all the ladies had a different view of things and it did leave me wondering what the heck!

One of them (Whoopie Goldberg) thought be it celeb, sports star, musician or movie star, all have a right to privacy and the right to live their lives the way they want to and they didn’t ask anyone to fall in love with them and choose them to model their life after. That no matter what, this is nobody else’s business. Okay, I agree with that.

Then another (Shari Shepard) said that being an athlete like this, many young kids watch him/them and emulate them and want to be like them so why would they break the moral laws of life and that they are setting a bad example to their young fans. Okay, I agree with that too!

Then another (Joy Behar) said she knows that if she wears a bikini to the beach, someone is going to take a picture of her big ass (her words, not mine) so she just knows better than to wear a bikini to a beach. She avoids it because she is a celeb and knows what will happen. Once again, I agree. I’m really flip flopping now!

These were the three main views and the other two (Barbara Walters and Elizabeth Hasslebeck) were a combination of all three. It took me back to when my boys had role models. They were Hershel Walker, Walter Payton, Bo Jackson, Michael Jordan and many MANY Viking players and baseball and basketball players over the years. While I think yes, these are just mortal men but I do have to say, I wanted them to be a good role model to my children. People who lived life right and obeyed the laws of man and God. But did they “owe” me that? Was it their “fault” my kids looked up to them? Did they “owe” them anything? We put them on a pedestal but was that our choice or theirs and if they chose this kind of life, should they be expected to behave in a certain way?

I do feel we are “owed” a little. It’s our money that’s going to pay for the tickets to watch them play. It’s our money going to buy their jersey’s or albums or whatnot. Do they owe nothing to society or are they just doing a job like you and I?

Do you feel that anyone, celeb or musician or athlete should have to behave in a certain way because young people are following them or do you feel they owe us nothing?

I’l tell you one thing, I wouldn’t want one of my kids or grandkids to have a Michael Vick jersey.

But is it? Inconsideration of the Rosimeiri Boxall case, the 19-year old girl who was tortured and bullied into her death, it is clear that self defence claims prove pitiful. In fact, Hatice Can, 15 and Kemi Ajose, 17 were participating in an example of brutal bullying and torture.  These girls try to blame their actions on their childhood and the character of their parents, but it comes down to an individual conscious choice.  In the previously mentioned case, Tish stated that she feels she has no chance because of her mother.  However, this point is soon brought to a close with the blunt realisation, “I’ve just got a temper on me” 

We can speculate about the ins and outs of violent incidents involving young women, but the statistics speak for themselves.  Even though women from the age of 16-24 have the highest risk of becoming victims of hostile crime in the UK, recent data has shown an increase in individuals turning to crime themselves.  Further to this, women’s rights group Engender have found that within a group of 14- to 21-year-olds, one in three girls and one in two boys thought there were circumstances in which it could be acceptable to hit a woman or force her to have sex.Youth Justice Board figures for last year further show that girls can now be blamed for approx. 21% of criminal offences that reach the courts due to the 50% rise in violent crime committed by young women.

The concern of rising female violence is not just restricted to the UK. Other western European nations report similar trends in female crime.  Over the past 10 years the rate for violent offences involving adolescent girls in Canada has increased at twice the rate for boys.

Dr Val Besag (Kidscape) claims alcohol and socialisation are to blame.  Girls have always been socialised into being kind and ladylike.  In the face of confrontation, girls would have to ‘go away and be friends’.  However, boys would be told to ‘fight back’.  There is obviously a cultural bias and a stereotype that men are more violent than women.  US psychologist Richard Felson states that motives for violence are identical for both genders – to gain retribution and to protect self-image

Evolutionary science has provided evidence that girls are just as violent as men but they take longer to become angry.  Women have a procrastinating nature.  However, abuse of alcohol and drugs shortens this time. Some terrible cases of bullying and murder have arisen from the use of these harmful substances.  All that has to be seen is a crowd of drunken girls on a Friday or Saturday night to get a vivid idea of these claims. 

It is clear that the concept of a “girl gang” is very prominent in our society.  Whether young females decide to cover up their actions by a vow of friendship or blaming their parents, these young girls are simply making the choice to create conflict as a group activity.

Today, on my morning commute to college, one of the ears of my headphones started acting up. The right ear started flickering and sure enough, a few minutes later, died out totally. Playing with the connection could save it occasionally, but by this stage it’s completely buggered. I really like my headphones, they’re good at keeping noise out and the sound quality is fairly decent. They’re kind like this model, except older and without all that design jazz. So, as you can imagine, I was slightly annoyed. I immediately started thinking about ordering a new pair on the internet and getting them delivered. I got to the library and was updating my Facebook status to share the news, when I felt a little twinge: Guilt. I thought to myself, “What’ll everyone think of me if I just buy a new pair of headphones, without even trying to fix these ones?”. So, I changed my mind. I decided to give repairing them a go first, to see if I can get them working.

Interesting, that, isn’t it? Exposing my potential consumer habits to the opinions, values and, most importantly, feedback of my peers changed my intention. I wonder how this can be used to affect what people do with their electrical waste, but also (and more importantly) what people do when their stuff breaks? I’ve noticed (and I’m sure I’m guilty of it myself) a move away from people getting their stuff (clothes, pots, pans, electrical goods) fixed and towards just buying new stuff. Now, given that people are more careful with their money at the moment (or at least are in theory) maybe people consider repair as an option more frequently now. I think it’s a great idea. I, for one, need to stop relying on new items and other people and start fixing stuff for myself. I guess this is where things like Project Sugru come in. Their concept is don’t buy new stuff, hack your old stuff!. Smart gang. They’re on Twitter too (which, incidentally, is how I remembered that they exist and have included them here. Very smart) and on Facebook.

[edit: Take a look at the video on this page for an idea of how it works]

Alright, anyway, that’s my idea. Group pressure influencing people into fixing stuff, instead of buying new things. Think that it’s ridiculous that someone should waste money buying something new when a quick job will fix what they already have? Tell them! You might just change their mind.

As an aside, I’ve started a Tumblr account for things longer than a Tweet and shorter than a blog post. That’s how this post started (but then it got longer).

Happy World AIDS Day and if you have an opinion, share it as a comment.

“It’s shocking to realize how seldom we change our basic beliefs or understanding when confronted with new information that normally would affect change. Instead, we bend or ignore facts to fit our established world view. John Maynard Keynes once said “When the facts change, I change my opinion. What do you do, sir?” Sadly most people don’t subscribe to this logical practice. Instead, conformation bias and denial are the tools we use to manage and manipulate information to our liking. And there are plenty of governmental, corporate and private citizens ready to help us accomplish this through deliberate and targeted propaganda. The most common personal warning sign that this is happening is the pain of cognitive dissonance, which is usually set off when new information is in conflict with long established and dearly held views.

Rarely do we push through this cognitive pain to reappraise our inventory of established truths for validity or relevance. It’s so much easier to discard ugly deviations, or cherry pick information that confirms our preferred vision, rather than conduct the top to bottom review that’s called for when the facts change. Intellectual laziness is the polite term for this phenomenon. I think a more honest explanation is deliberate and mostly conscious denial. However, even when I’m alert for and aware of this phenomenon, I’m still surprised how often I participate. It’s frightening to see how deeply conditioned we are in the art of self deception. The truth hurts, so I employ the most powerful pain killer know to man, that of denial. It’s extremely difficult to reject popular opinion and strike out on our own independent path. Group think is indoctrinated into us from birth and socially rewarded at every turn. It’s emotionally safer and more comfortable if you stay near the center of the pack. Herd mentality in all its glory, which is corralled by the public myth and which we too are the keepers.”

End of Empire – Propaganda and the American Myth

Zero Hedge by Cognitive Dissonance on 11/29/2009

“Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive”….ourselves. With apologies to Sir Walter Scott.

If only life were as neat and orderly as my ancient history text book showed it to be. There it was on glossy paper, spread out across two sets of adjoining pages, maps of the ancient and modern world. Including time lines top and bottom, with countries outlined and identified. Underneath their modern English names were one or two older names in smaller stylized script, often including exact beginning and end dates. I remember one in particular that caught my eye. “United States of America” followed by the year 1776. But with no end date indicated, it looked like unfinished business to me. You’ve got to love those historians and their exact dates.

Of course, in reality there are no exact dates for the birth and death of city/states, other than in the author’s mind. Children continue to be born, the old still die, and life goes on under different circumstances. But you’re rarely informed of the subjective nature of historical events when you’re young and impressionable, so they’re presented in the history books as fact. The last thing the reigning Empire wants is to appear uncertain about previous Empires. Even before we begin to read and comprehend on our own, we’re presented with the illusion of a beginning and end to everything, often with very clear lines of demarcation. This concept is continuously reinforced through our daily indoctrination of carefully scripted news stories, care of our modern media saturated existence. Naturally, critical thinking is optional and definitively not encouraged.

Mix in a healthy dose of hard core science, where you learn very early there are correct and incorrect answers to all your questions, and a pattern of social myth making emerges. Of course, the correct answers are held for public safekeeping by our cultural high priests and authority figures, be they academic, governmental, scientific or religious. Lest you forget, cultural icons and heroes must always be respected and deferred to. Maybe now’s a good time to remember that most history and science books are written and re-written by those very same keepers of the public mythology. What we believe as a culture, sometimes called our public myth, is usually determined by those whose pockets are the deepest or most powerful, not by those who are the wisest and most knowledgeable.

Have you ever read a book written by the survivors of the vanquished, the so called losers? I have, a number of times, and it’s usually very enlightening to see the world from the other side of the bloody divide. In their hands, our cultural myths aren’t treated with the same loving care and respect we afford them, nor should they be. But of course they must be lying because they have an ax to grind. Revisionist history is how those in power politely describe the writings of the defeated and the victims crushed in the head long rush of conquering empire. The public myth tells us that the losers can do nothing but taut the victorious with their lies. Ignore them and they’ll go away. Besides, the winners never lie about the facts, though we’re told there’s plenty of room for differences of opinion. And just about everything can be reduced to an opinion if you’re looking to obscure.

Of course, one of the unspoken duties of the winners is to distort the written and visual record, so that it conforms to the public myth. This is the principle reason why recently retired or replaced holders of powerful governmental and military positions are handed huge advances to write their memoirs. These sacred tomes of divine wisdom are quickly embraced by other propagandists as the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help their Gods of propaganda. Once in hand, it’s quickly woven into the fabric of the public myth as supporting documentation. Thus another slice of the propaganda cycle is complete and ready for its next rotation.

We possess extremely complex belief systems and world views. How they develop and evolve is greatly influenced by external information sources we rarely question or challenge. After all, these sources are our cultural authority figures, the experts, professionals and intelligentsia that form our cultural propaganda delivery and support system. These sources cannot be seriously questioned, particularly from within, without being declared a heretic. Just look at how Zero Hedge, and other non-conforming web sites, are treated as an example of how heresy is handled these days. While we may not pay much attention to everything we hear or see, our unconscious is absorbing it all, raw and unfiltered. This information feeds into and supports our world view with little conscious thought or scrutiny. This is the reason why repetition is so vitally important to effective propaganda. Our brain always absorbs even when we do not look and listen.

It’s shocking to realize how seldom we change our basic beliefs or understanding when confronted with new information that normally would affect change. Instead, we bend or ignore facts to fit our established world view. John Maynard Keynes once said “When the facts change, I change my opinion. What do you do, sir?” Sadly most people don’t subscribe to this logical practice. Instead, conformation bias and denial are the tools we use to manage and manipulate information to our liking. And there are plenty of governmental, corporate and private citizens ready to help us accomplish this through deliberate and targeted propaganda. The most common personal warning sign that this is happening is the pain of cognitive dissonance, which is usually set off when new information is in conflict with long established and dearly held views.

Rarely do we push through this cognitive pain to reappraise our inventory of established truths for validity or relevance. It’s so much easier to discard ugly deviations, or cherry pick information that confirms our preferred vision, rather than conduct the top to bottom review that’s called for when the facts change. Intellectual laziness is the polite term for this phenomenon. I think a more honest explanation is deliberate and mostly conscious denial. However, even when I’m alert for and aware of this phenomenon, I’m still surprised how often I participate. It’s frightening to see how deeply conditioned we are in the art of self deception. The truth hurts, so I employ the most powerful pain killer know to man, that of denial. It’s extremely difficult to reject popular opinion and strike out on our own independent path. Group think is indoctrinated into us from birth and socially rewarded at every turn. It’s emotionally safer and more comfortable if you stay near the center of the pack. Herd mentality in all its glory, which is corralled by the public myth and which we too are the keepers.

I often say all writers are essentially propagandists and that applies to me as well. I’m using this forum to cherry pick information which I then present in the most compelling manner to make my case. In effect, I’m feeding you my spin, which along with other pieces can be used to build a myth. The most effective propaganda is that whose basic premise is slipped by the reader or TV viewer so smoothly it’s never recognized. Once the premise is planted and accepted, the hard work is done and the fish is quickly reeled in. What’s that you say? You’re too smart to let the wool be pulled over your eyes? That you can discern truth from lies and would eventually figure it out given enough time and inclination? Honestly ask yourself, how much effort would you put into examining something you already believe to be true? Wouldn’t you deem it a major waste of your time? Consider the premise I put forth in the title of this article. Did you notice? Did you question? Or did you accept and start to read?

Most people see information as chunks of data that can be compartmentalized, examined and manipulated. But rarely do we recognize that many of the truths we hold as impeccable are based upon long lines of information. If at any point this information could be proven false, the entire line is suspect, along with your impeccable truth. Consider a long string of mathematical calculations. While there may be dozens of individual problems with separate answers, each answer then feeds into another calculation as a sum or variable. Make a mistake at any point in the line and the entire data stream is corrupt. How we view our world is based upon many preconceived notions and beliefs. Change just one small piece we previously thought correct and everything changes to some extent. Change two or three and suddenly we have a crisis of confidence and a cognitive dissonance. Yet when we feel that pain, how often do we reboot and reexamine everything? Why would you reexamine what you think you know to be correct, particularly when most everyone else is in agreement? Peer pressure and conditioning are hard to resist, even in the privacy of your own mind. “We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

My basic premise and the basis for this series of articles is that the American Empire is ending. In fact, it has peaked and is now in rapid decline. While I can’t offer an exact date for this change of direction, it doesn’t diminish my argument in the least. I’d be hard pressed to give you the date for the decline of the Roman Empire, but clearly it followed the same trajectory. Did Rome’s downward spiral start when the capital was moved to Constantinople in 330 AD? Or when Rome was sacked by the Visigoths in 410 AD? It matters little at this point, except to the historians. While America descends, China and India ascend.

Actually I would argue that while Empires come and go, the culture of environmental and human exploitation and destruction we call civilization has grown in efficiency over the past 3000 years. We Americans now stand proudly at the pinnacle of the insanity, picking up where the Romans and Europeans left off. I’ll leave that thought for another day but I think you get my point.

America as a social and financial entity ceased to function at peak efficiency decades ago. This rapid decline is the main reason behind the massive increase in financial engineering, which is now coming apart at the seams, deliberately in my view. To argue over this or that detail is to be in denial of the obvious. In fact, I consider the official bickering over these details as a deliberate attempt to distort and distract while the final looting and rape occurs. Using propaganda and other psychological operations, our leaders lie about the economic condition of America. They do so not because they expect the lie to withstand close scrutiny, but rather to enable those who wish to believe the lie a plausible excuse to do so. Remember our conditioning. When in doubt, defer to authority and suspend disbelief.

A classic sales technique is the assumed consent close. Rather than directly asking you to purchase this new car, I simply assume you are purchasing and begin asking you closing questions. “Do you prefer the red one we looked at first or the blue convertible with the beige interior? Could you please get your insurance card out of the glove box before you clean out your car? Just sign here and here. Thanks.” You’d be surprised how many new automobiles, rooms of household furniture, whole life insurance, variable annuities and pieces of expensive jewelry are sold in this manner. Something similar to this technique is being used by the mass media to sell us something we already wish to buy. Only they aren’t selling the death of America, but rather its remarkable resilience and miraculous comeback. We’re being sold false hope, disguised as assumed consent questions such as, should we audit the Fed, can we expand healthcare with a public option, will Son of Stimulus be rolled out by the first or second quarter of 2010, should we……..well, you get the picture.

False hope binds us to impossible conditions and situations. Please read that statement again and then let it sink in for a minute.

As long as we believe there’s residual value in keeping America on life support, we’ll continue to pour borrowed money into this mess, rather than roll up the derivatives, fire the managers and start over. We don’t wish to face the reality that we’re in way over our heads. As long as we’re not forced to look too closely at the horrible condition our country’s in, we’re all too willing to do our part and avoid applying critical thinking to the subject. Like an old bull unknowingly led to slaughter because he thinks he’s off to mount another cow, we’re desperately trying to keep alive the magical American myth of life, liberty and apple pie while shielding our eyes from the rotting corpse it’s rapidly becoming.

That’s probably too harsh for the average American’s sensibilities, but let’s ask ourselves a few questions in an effort to find the truth, or at least something approaching the truth as we know it. Let me be clear on something before I get flamed for my harsh tongue. I’m not America bashing in the least. I’m America myth bashing. The American myth of exceptionalism is enabling her destruction as we stand idly by, applauding the mythical facade our leaders and media display 24/7. As long as we cling to the hope that all she needs is a tune up and some minor repairs, we’re condemned to a long and painful death spiral. We’re being sold exactly what we want to hear when we need to hear it. To claim otherwise is to lie to ourselves and to each other.

America is crumbling from the foundation up, and yet we gather around the TV, talking about a fresh paint job and a new screen door, both bought on credit, while handing our grandchildren a bill they’ll never be able to pay. The only way we can live with this lie while perpetrating these despicable acts upon our own family members is to deny it’s even happening. The big lie, which we must continue to tell ourselves, has taken on a life of its own and is consuming everyone and everything in its path. We are addicted to our own public myth and to sustain the lie, we simply ignore the truth. The only way to break through this lie is to go back through decades of propaganda and myth and find out what went wrong. Since this would be too painful, both individually and as a society, we distort reality as quickly as we change cable channels. It’s not just our leaders who are corrupt but we as well.

We have become cowardly, unwilling to commit to the tough decision of setting aside instant gratification in order to assure our grandchildren a home to live in. This is the ultimate act of selfishness, compounded by the fact that we claim we’ve been hijacked by our leaders. Sadly, our leaders are doing exactly what we want them to do, which is to continue the lie. Did we really think we could put our toys and war machines on the charge card and not worry about the bill, just because some politicians said we could? What are we, 5 year olds, pointing our fingers elsewhere when asked who broke the vase? Even if we personally followed the path of fiscal prudence, why didn’t we scream bloody murder, demanding we stop this insanity before the country began its suicidal plunge? Why do we still remain silent? Our hands are bloody and the only question is, how much is yours and how much is mine. Citizenship is all about individual responsibility, something we’ve been avoiding for a while now, at least since we started calling ourselves consumers.

Look at the endless propaganda on TV that’s used to lull us back into a drugged stupor, so we don’t dwell on what we’re doing to our children’s children. American flags wave in the background as chiseled men and full breasted women expound on how wonderful we are for building and loving this great nation of ours. The great American love story, brought to you nightly on prime time TV. This is where the bad guys always loose, men are men and women are sexual objects to lust after. Watch closely children, this is the American dream. Why wouldn’t we love America the myth? It’s everything we want without the pain. Nationalism is our unifying religion, a potentially fatal addiction to our public myth that enables us to fiddle while America burns. More drugs over here doctor, the patient’s waking up.

So how do we deal with this, and what does this have to do with Zero Hedge? Well, I would say it has everything to do with ZH, but then again I’m just a propagandist, weaving my magical myth. But to be honest, in desperation I’m seeking another way, a different path. I’m tired of moving in and out of the various stages of loss and grief. One moment I’m screaming at my zombie neighbor, imploring him to wake up and see the insanity. The next I’m filled with self righteous indignation as another patsy banker’s head is placed on the public pike. Sometimes I start my morning bargaining with unseen powers, begging for a truce or cease fire, only to end my day crying in my hands in fear and frustration of it all. And I’m not alone.

Zero Hedge seems to be a refuge for the walking wounded, a safe haven inside occupied territory for the psychically damaged and demoralized. But we need more than rest and relaxation in order to regain our feet. We need to heal and grow our ranks, to find a way to help ourselves and those who follow us into the refuge. Surrounded by lies and deceit, we are indoctrinated to such an extent that we still speak the language of denial without realizing it. We have no choice but to start at the beginning. While Zero Hedge speaks truth to power, we need to speak truth to ourselves, to talk openly about what has happened and where we’re going. Part of the seduction of denial is the avoidance of personal responsibility. In my view this must stop, thus my declaration that we’re all responsible for this mess. I have no doubt America can be repaired but the process starts at the personal level.

From a financial point of view, I’m sure we’ve all held a winning trade past its prime, giving back money we should have booked. And who hasn’t kept a dog way too long, when we should have thrown it overboard months ago? While I’m certain there are multiple reasons for poor investment performance, a fearless and thorough examination often shows that bad investment decisions are the result of personal shortcomings, such as wishful thinking or denial. For myself, when this happens, I find I’ve violated one or more of my trading rules. They are as follows.

One, know myself, particularly my strengths and weaknesses. Two, know my trading environment or don’t play in the sandbox. Three, always consider the other side of trade. If I’m buying, why is the other guy selling? If I’m selling, why is the other guy buying? Look for weakness in my thinking. Four, from time to time, mentally clear my computer screen of existing positions and then follow step three with each holding. If I wouldn’t buy or sell it now, why am I holding it? Five, trust my instincts, not my heart. My heart lies to me all the time with plenty of help from my brain. Instinctually I usually know when to buy or sell but often I ignore my gut feeling and wind up screwing the pooch. Over the years I’ve found that too much thinking gets in the way and often makes things worse.

These trading rules, as with life itself, requires a clear eyed view and a deeper understanding of ourselves, our fellow man and the real world, not as we wish to see it but as it really is. Unfortunately we still engage in wishful thinking way too often, constantly pushing the hope “dope” button and regretting it afterwards. Considering the direction our world is headed, it’s going to be more difficult to think clearly unless we make personal changes. Old habits die hard because we desperately cling to them for emotional support. Understanding why we do this will go a long way to helping us jettison that old baggage. Even if we are trapped on the crazy train to hell, just because we can’t get off doesn’t mean we must participate in the insanity.

So with the active participation of my fellow Zero Hedge readers, I would like to continue this exploration in a series of “End of Empire” articles, each time focusing on a different aspect of the unraveling. We need to develop our intellectual, emotional and financial coping techniques. Of particular importance to me will be the comments and feedback I get from you, for I assure you I don’t have all the answers. This isn’t a rally to arms but rather a cry for help. Either we heal as a community or we continue to hemorrhage, alone and isolated. It’s going to be a wild ride so let’s buckle up and do this together. After all, there’s safety in numbers, inside the new herd mentality of Zero Hedge.

Cognitive Dissonance

Why Hypnosis Can Change Your Life For The Better
Believe the hype or think for yourself
For too long hypnosis has had ‘difficult’ press. If a person doesn’t understand something they have 3 options open to them.
1) They might be sceptical and therefore save the trouble of looking further and possibly benefiting. 2) They may conclude it is dangerous and to be avoided at all costs. 3) They may spend time discovering the truth behind the hype.
If you don’t know much about a topic it’s easy to be suspicious. Some people assume hypnosis is akin to a carnival side show, others consider it mystic mumbo jumbo or ‘mind control.’ For those who look beyond the hype the truth is far more illuminating.
The most powerful tool you possess
There are potentially huge benefits for those who use hypnosis as part of everyday life. When you understand hypnosis you start to see its potential to improve human performance in the physical, emotional and intellectual realms. For me, rumour, gossip and suspicion weren’t good enough.
I determined to learn all I could about hypnosis – I learned every fact and practised every technique under the sun. I took several training courses – some good, some terrible. I invested thousands of hours of devoted study to hypnosis and discovered just what is possible. I hypnotised friends, neighbours and work colleagues. Hypnosis greatly changed things for me on a personal level
How hypnosis helped me
I used to be shy. Thanks to hypnosis I can now talk to thousands at a time and can approach anybody calmly and confidently.
I used to have poor concentration and procrastinate; thanks to hypnosis I can instantly motivate myself.
I used to find physical work outs and exercise exhausting but because of hypnosis I am now in the best shape of my life.
Incidentally I also stopped myself blushing with hypnosis. Now if ever I have a difficult call or conversation coming up, something I may naturally feel reluctant to do (you know the kind of thing) I spontaneously self hypnotise and rehearse the upcoming situation feeling good, with myself remaining calm. In this way I habitually set my own emotional ‘blue prints’ for up coming situations. Having said that it’s naturally that some people have concerns or half digested ‘hand me down’ ideas regarding hypnosis. A common one is the one about ‘mind control.’ However what does this really mean?
Why you are more in control of yourself in hypnosis
If someone expresses concerns about being ‘controlled’ in hypnosis what they mean is they don’t want to be like a robot, an automaton that is forced to obey the every whim of the hypnotist. We can’t help but influence others but we don’t control them. To understand why you need to understand hypnosis better.
So what is hypnosis like?
Hypnosis isn’t like a coma. It’s not unconsciousness – more a subtle shifting of consciousness. In hypnosis, you can still think logically but you also have access to the ’software’ of your mind so that you can update instinctive emotional and physical responses. In fact the hypnotised subject (not the hypnotist) calls the shots. When I hypnotise someone I need to go at their speed and respond to their needs and expectations. Hypnosis will give you more control in your own life because of what it enables you to do.
How can I be so sure?
Because over the decades I’ve seen all kinds of people, all ages and from all backgrounds turn their lives around thanks to hypnosis. When you use hypnosis for yourself it improves confidence in all kinds of ways. When you use it to change other’s lives it just blows you away. This is what I mean.
When I first hypnotised someone to feel no sensation in a painful arthritic arm it was an incredible feeling. When I first cured life long phobias quickly and comfortably I was astounded. When I stopped hardened alcoholics from drinking and even got a heroin addict off the stuff and back into mainstream life again I started to feel angry that people could just associate hypnosis with entertainment.
With the aid of hypnosis I (and many people I have trained and worked with) have helped severely depressed people feel strong and positive again. The rewards and satisfactions are hard to describe. I’m going to take a stand against ignorance and short sightedness around hypnosis and here’s why.
Why you need to reclaim hypnosis for yourself
Hypnosis is your birthright. It’s nature’s optimum learning tool. In fact to learn and perform anything well you need to experience a natural focussing of attention, a natural kind of hypnosis. To be successful hypnosis needs to be your companion and friend.
Successful people use it naturally all the time because hypnosis is natural. It’s the way we learn new responses. Unlike medications its side effects are purely positive – one expectant mother I worked with to feel relaxed during child birth later reported that she was also more relaxed when flying!
Hypnosis is easy to learn and every body can benefit. Hypnosis is a safe environment to ‘try out’ new behaviours and emotional patterns before you experience them for real. So the young man can ask a woman out for a date many times in calm relaxed hypnosis so that by the time he does it for real it feels real and natural and relaxed. Sports people who use hypnosis learn new quicker and more accurately. So hypnosis gives you more control of yourself and your life, it’s natural and gives you instant benefits and it’s a way of ‘trying on’ and establishing new patterns of emotional response and behaviour, Hypnosis enables you to develop yourself as a human being.
HypnosisDownloads.com offer a free course called ‘Learn Hypnosis in 5 Days’.
Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads.com.
Struggling to get blog traffic? Click here

It starts, oddly enough, with a porcupine necktie and an anonymous act of random kindness. Have you ever noticed that such an act makes people uneasy? They’re not sure why but they don’t like anonymous acts … one assumes either that people want credit or that they have some sinister reason for wanting to stay anonymous.

Stargirl appears at Mica High School at the beginning of Leo’s grade 11-year. Stargirl is in grade 10 and up until now has been home-schooled. In the beginning, the school’s halls echo with “Stargirl”, “Stargirl” as the other students dissect her. Who is she? Where does she come from? Why is everyone enchanted by and curious about her?

Stargirl is an eccentric. She signs her name like this.

She comes to school wearing 1920’s flapper dresses, kimonos and no make-up. She plays the Ukulele and serenades the students, at lunch, with renditions of Happy Birthday. How does she know whose birthday it is? She has a pet rat named Cinnamon. She has a history of changing her name. Stargirl is weird, strange, goofy, unusual.

Leo tells us Stargirl’s story. He is a normal, average student at Mica High. Leo is enchanted by Stargirl and, like the rest of the student body, falls in love with her. Leo sees Stargirl as this “ray of light” involved in everyone else’s business. Stargirl gives secret anonymous gifts. She goes to the funerals of people she does not know. She pays attention to life! She has no ego and doesn’t care what other people think of her, or so Leo tells us.

Before Stargirl came to Mica High the school revolved around Hillari Kimble, cheerleader and most popular girl and Wayne Parr who is admired only because he is gorgeous – his aspiration is to be on the cover of GQ.

Stargirl energizes the school and the community. She gets people out to the football games, she becomes a cheerleader, and she roots for everyone … no matter the importance of their accomplishment. Herein lies her downfall … she roots for everyone, including the opposing team. The energy and originality that first made Stargirl seem enchanting and special in the eyes of her classmates ends up getting her shunned.

All this shunning upsets Leo more than it does Stargirl. Because he loves her he also bears the brunt of the school’s gossip and teasing. Taunts of Starboy echo behind him in the hallway and the things that made him love Stargirl now makes him want to change her. He tells her “we live in a world of them” implying that what matters most is how others perceive us.

To please Leo, Stargirl goes back to the name her parents originally gave her … she becomes plain, ordinary, everyday Susan. She looks like everyone else. She tries to act like everyone else. Her most important task becomes winning the speech contest. This will make her popular. She has to win, she must win, she does win. Nothing changes. Winning does not make her popular. Trying to be someone else does not make her happy. Susan returns to being Stargirl and Leo removes himself from her orbit.

However, Leo still loves Stargirl. He may no longer physically orbit around her but he is aware of what she is doing. Stargirl’s final showdown occurs at the Ocotillo Ball. She goes alone and in triumph ends up a legend, the belle of the ball. And then she leaves. Stargirl leaves school and her parents leave town. Still, in the end, Stargirl is forever embedded in the mythology of Mica High School and in Leo’s heart.

The voice of reason throughout this story is A. H. Brubaker, retired professor of paleontology. Archie the Bone Man, as the local teenagers who congregate at his house, call him.

It is in Archie’s shed that Stargirl keeps her office. Here are her files on people. Her “lovely treasure” as Archie calls it. Archie, like Leo, sees the enchantment behind Stargirl but also understands why others fear her. He tells Leo “You’ll know her more by her questions than by her answers.” Do we fear Stargirl because she has no ego and cares not how others perceive her? Do we wonder if we could be as happy as she is if only we didn’t care about how others saw us? How much of ourselves do we lose because we care so much about how we are perceived?

Because Leo cared how others saw him he lost Stargirl. Because the others cared they lost her as well. Leo, and perhaps everyone else, ends up seeking forever what they have lost.

Stargirl

by Jerry Spinelli

New York: Knopf, 2004

P. S. This is an old review and in searching for images I find that there are two sequels. (Or are there?) Yeah, more for me to read

]]> http://greglandgraf.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/the-pissed-off-pissed-on-santa/ Sun, 29 Nov 2009 19:21:38 +0000 greglandgraf http://greglandgraf.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/the-pissed-off-pissed-on-santa/

“There is a maximum permissible threshold for the amount of profanity you are permitted to use when you portray Santa Claus at the Central Valley Shopping Centre,” said Julia. “That threshold is none. No profanity. Whatsoever. Why was that not obvious to you?”

Julia didn’t scream. She had fired enough people that she knew that volume couldn’t help anything. At the same time, she really wanted to, and she was trembling from the effort it took to not scream.

Walt was too busy suppressing his own rage tremors to notice, however. He picked at his clammy Santa costume and answered in tones tense enough to launch rockets. “I understand that, in general, a mall Santa should not swear while children are sitting on his lap. I feel, however, that there are some extenuating circumstances.”

“And do you really believe that these extenuating circumstances justify your use of the ephitets ‘God damn it,’ ‘Son of a bitch,’ ‘Jesus fucking Christ,’ and ‘Holy bastard crap fuck’?”

“You weren’t there.”

“Jingles the elf told me, and Mrs. Clause corroborated.” Walt blanched at this explanation. Richard had struck him immediately as an oily fellow whose greatest pleasure was sowing chaos, while Hannah was a bubble-headed young actress wannabe so easy for him to manipulate because she had no thoughts of her own. “Of course,” Julia continued, “the last one, the ‘holy bastard crap fuck,’ was uttered loudly enough for me to hear it from this office. As this office is about a thousand feet away, plus two floors up, from Santa’s Wonderland, I have to reach the conclusion that you said this at a somewhat extreme volume. I am frankly surprised that your throat didn’t burst.”

Julia sniffed, realizing that there was an unpleasant odor in the air and that it eminated from Walt. “By the way, you smell bad.”

“Yes, I do.” Walt pointed to his Santa pants, which Julia noticed for the first time were soaked.

She softened her voice, dialing her anger down to empathetic disappointment. “Walt. When you went through Santa training, weren’t you warned that you’d be working with excited young children, and that on occasion they might have accidents?”

Walt smiled a brittle, sandpapery smile. “Yes, I was, Julia. And if you interview Jingles and Mrs. Claus, I believe you will find that when I was urinated upon, my reaction was understanding, and even jolly.”

“Then what was the problem, Walt?”

“The problem, Julia, was that the urination was not an isolated incident. Once that first little girl tinkled on my lap, there was, if you’ll forgive my terminology, a steady stream of copycat pissers.”

“They’re children, Walt. They’re susceptible to peer pressure.” Julia waved her finger with the excitement of a fresh idea. “Or, maybe, it’s pheromones. You know, like animals marking their territory.”

“I wonder how many times you could be marked before you began using language unbecoming a Santa Claus, Julia?” Julia shrugged in response; she had to admit he had a point. “It wasn’t even just the young children. About twenty or so pissings in, there was a little old lady with her walker with the tennis balls on the bottom. And she just pushed through the Santa’s Wonderland ropes, and came right up to me, and hiked up her dress, and peed on me standing up. Tell me, Julia, did she just confuse Santa’s Wonderland for a bathroom, and me for a toilet, and standing up for sitting?”

“I don’t know,” Julia squeaked, beginning to squirm with the sense that her anger was badly misplaced.

Walt, however, had hit his stride. “Or a little bit later, when what can only be described as a pee balloon fell from the second-story balcony and exploded onto what can only be described as my head? Do you not feel that you might utter the phrase ‘Holy bastard crap fuck,” in response to that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why don’t I let you find out?” With that threat, Walt began stripping. He slipped off his boots, pouring the contents of one into the other as a demonstration, then wrapped the boots in the velvet  Santa jacket, and bundled that package inside the Santa pants.

He tossed the whole thing in a perfect arc that just grazed the office ceiling before landing on Julia’s desk.

The costume plopped, and it squelched, and most of all, it splattered—across the desk and the contracts and the memorandums and Julia herself.

Considering his point made, Walt turned wordlessly and marched out of the office, his head high despite being clad only in a pair of briefs and facing a walk to the other end of the mall to retrieve his street clothes from the employee locker room. He did slip one time in the dribbled trail he created when he entered the office, but nobody saw fit to acknowledge it.

Julia reached for a tissue to wipe herself off, but the box was soaked through. The office had its own bathroom, where she would made some attempt at cleaning herself up.

The Santa suit could be cleaned, and the office disinfected, so she considered her immediate problem. Central Valley Shopping Centre needed a new Santa. Richard was next on the list; they could make do without a Jingles for a few days, or even the entire season if need be.

When she gave him the news, Richard reacted with sedated pleasure. He was, in fact, overjoyed, but celebrating would be unseemly. Why reveal the number of disgusting favors he had called in to engineer the move?

*****

Yesterday I went to the Lincoln Park Zoolights display of Christmas lights. It’s oppressively wholesome cheese in the extreme, which I like in very small doses because it always tends to give my my most demented ideas. This is one of them.

No specific plans for where this might be used. There are a lot of places it might fit, and I could also see adapting it as a filmed sketch for my comedy troupe Three Legged Race.

this is my second favorite holiday… and can be my favorite in years when christmas doesn’t go as planned. before ed was a while ago so i can’t remember the exact feeling, but i remember loving everything about thanksgiving. i was always so hungry before the dinner that i thought that year would be the year that i finally didn’t get stuffed halfway through my small plate.

i wish being able to stop eating when i’m full.

i was talking to someone today and i realized that i’m a very extreme, all-or-nothing girl… especially when it comes to food. i mean, it’s not like i’ll literally eat nothing or a ton of food… it’s that i either have to be significantly under my alloted calories or i feel like it isn’t worth it and have a mini-binge to go over it. that’s why i’m very rarely in the 1200-1400 zone. it’s 1000 or it’s 1600.

but i’ve had a month or so of luck and have been able to stay closer to 1000… and i feel like that luck’s running out, or perhaps it’s just the leftovers screwing me over. either way, i’m very stressed and unhappy right now because i’ve had no deficit the last three days and my thighs, arms, and stomach are undoubtably bigger.

and now i’ve forgotten how to spell undoubtably and am spelling it wrong. frick.

and no my friend is calling me and asking her to drink with her and i finally understand peer pressure… but the one thing keeping me from going might just be my ed. who’d waste calories on vodka, right?

ugh. i blame this all on my swine flu. even before my past three days of disaster i had four days when i was home sick that went over the limit. my stomach probably stretched and is definitely stretching now and i have to go to frickin school on monday.

what a jolly post for a jolly holiday season, eh?

next post won’t be a rant. i promise.

My husband and I thought that our newly-minted 10-yr-old daughter has been looking pretty thin over the last six to nine months.  She had always been a picky eater (like her mom), but her zen for desserts/junk food seemed to be changing.  Whereas prior to that time, on any given day you could count on her to be into having junk food when it was offered, she started to decline such foods on a random basis. 

My first thoughts were of happiness – my daughter had a normal relationship with food and didn’t eat just to eat, and could listen to her body’s signals that she was full or just plain not hungry - woohoo!!!!  What I would give to be  be that way!

Quickly though, those thoughts changed.  As someone who started becoming a compulsive overeater at right around her age, my radar of course went up.  So my thoughts turned to – what effect me and my eating habits and/or the peer pressure at school were having on her.

Because of my issues and being acutely aware of all the body image issues out there for kids these days, my husband and I never used the word “fat” in our house.  You would never hear the words “do these jeans make my butt look big” or the like, because we didn’t want our kids to hear that kind of stuff.  Well, as much as we’d like to keep our kids in a bubble of our protected world, they of course heard those terms and phrases at school and on disney shows (!!), so those terms came into our home.

She had always been an average weight for most of her life, but now she was looking decidedly thin.  So at her 10-yr check up last week, our fears were confirmed.  Apprarently, at this age, kids are supposed to gain about 5 pounds a year.  Well, my daughter grew only 1-1/4 inches and LOST 2 lbs over the course of the past year!  So compared to last year, her height went from being the 45th percentile to the 30th and her weight went from the 50th percentile to the 20th percentile. 

So the doctor wants to see her back again in six weeks to see if there has been any change in her weight.  At that time, the doctor may or may not send our daughter for blood work to make sure it is not a medical issue.

Assuming there is no medical problem, as she is otherwise healthy, I can’t help but wonder what part of this weight issue is from what she mimics of me and what part is peer related. After the nurse weighed and measured her, and we were waiting for the doctor to come in, I was looking at my little record book of her heights and weights and noticed the drop.  I casually mentioned it to my daughter and she made a comment about not wanting to get fat.  I know that is not something ever said in this house, however, I am her mother, her main care-giver, and I’m sure some of my sickness is evident to her in some fasion.  *sigh*  I have not told her (or my younger son) about my eating disorder because I think she is too young to really comprehend it.  But I will definitely have a talk with her about it when my husband and I feel the time is right.

So my husband and I are supposed to, in a relaxed fashion,  encourage her to eat more, such as having a snack before bed, which we haven’t done in the past.  We are hoping that by her hearing from the doctor that she needs to eat more, and our gentle prodding, that she will put some weight back on.

Holiday’s are known as joyful time of the year, however it is also a time we hear more about suicide.  Holidays can also bring on sadness and depression to those that are suffering with a loss or simply unhappy in life.  It is important we understand warnings signs.

Carolyn Friedman, is working on her Masters and recently wrote an excellent article on “10 Common Myths About Suicide.”  She asked me to share it with my readers.  Take the time to read and learn more.  You never know when you may need this knowledge.

Suicide remains a serious epidemic that transcends socioeconomic, age, racial, religious, mental health, and gender/sexual identity boundaries. While studies do show that some groups stand at a higher risk of suicide than others – usually those already prone to social marginalization – the sad reality is that this mindset holds the potential to strike anyone, anywhere, at any point in life. Due to the mixed messages flailing about regarding the condition, it becomes progressively more difficult to objectively discuss the delineation between fact and fiction. So many misconceptions abound that the suicidal truly needing an intervention in order to survive may very well not receive the help they need to recover.

As with all issues regarding mental health, suicide especially has become the target of wrongful stigmatization. Because so many view it as a taboo or scary subject, the tragic desperation of suicide becomes pushed aside, wrongfully dismissed as histrionics or other self-serving actions. For those not working in the psychological field, explicit education in the complexities and psychological phenomena that lead individuals down the dangerous path towards suicide makes for the absolute best solution to preventing further tragedy. To learn about how it operates is to understand; to understand is to learn how to properly stop someone from succumbing to a cycle of absolute pain. Treatment is never an easy process, but it stands as the only reliable safeguard against suicide available. Individuals making the effort to personally empathize with this sad plight comprise the front lines of prevention – their compassionate efforts are what save lives and guide others to emulate their actions.

1. Suicide is just a ploy for attention. Ignoring the threats means they go away.
One of the most cruel myths regarding suicide involves perceptions that victims are using their emotions as leverage – a tool for manipulation. By acknowledging their comments, family and friends only stoke their desire for attention and validation. Not only is this misconception highly inaccurate, it also results in a higher risk of suicide attempts and fatalities. All suicide threats must go addressed, and all potential victims must not be treated as if self-serving and attention-starved. Ignoring comments and threats that so much as hint towards suicide makes for one of the most dangerous reactions on the part of family and friends. It sends a message of apathy, of not taking the victim’s pain seriously enough to discuss objectively. This only serves to further their sense of desperation; in some ways it actively encourages them to go through with plans to die. At the conclusion of this article, there is a listing of hotlines to call when the urge to commit suicide hits an individual or someone he or she very much loves. Rather than writing off self-destructive threats as merely the last resort of a melodramatic diva to gain an emotional upper hand, please call or encourage a loved one to call one of the numbers. The operators have been trained to handle their feelings in a professional, compassionate manner that will help guide them towards seeking the therapy they need for a fulfilling life.2. All suicidal people suffer from some kind of character weakness or psychosis.

At the core of every suicide, completed or thwarted, there lay a sense of overwhelming. While studies do in fact show a correlation between depression, addiction, and other common mental illnesses and suicide, not every victim suffers from one or a combination of these conditions. Psychotic patients only comprise a fraction of suicides, but not the majority. Truthfully, all persons of any age, mental state, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic bracket hold within them the capacity to kill themselves. It remains only a matter of how far they become pushed to their limits, how desperate the sense of mental, emotional, and/or physical pain eventually swells. Suicide is not a weakness. Victims frequently see it as their only escape route from overwhelming torment – a way to finally end their all-encompassing agony once and for all.

Society labels suicides as inherently psychotic or weak as a means of demonizing their behavior. In some warped way, these myths are perceived as a deterrent for those contemplating killing themselves – after all, who wants to go down perceived not as a hero, but as weak or crazy? Wrongfully classifying genuine suffering as a sign of frailty or psychosis acts as a projection of society onto the victim. The only true weakness here lay in peoples’ inability or unwillingness to address the true gravity of suicide and constant spread of outright lies about the condition. Strength only factors in when an individual is willing to admit that they, too, have a threshold whereby they may become so desperate as to consider suicide a viable option. By acknowledging this one tragic but universal kernel of humanity, they may go on to help preserve the lives of others who may find themselves struggling with the urge to escape pain through death.

3. Those who survive suicide attempts won’t try it again.

Suicide is not a plea for attention. It expresses an extreme desire to slough off overwhelming stress and anxiety, and the National Institute of Mental Health estimates that for every death by suicide, another 12-25 survive their attempts. Many believe that living through a potentially fatal self-injury automatically inspires victims to seize life and never try to hurt themselves again. Reality says otherwise. Survivors run a very high risk of repeating their actions later on in life, and professionals agree that one of the highest indicators of a potential fatality is a record of prior attempts. Those who live through suicidal acts must seek psychological assistance immediately upon recovery. Cognitive therapy has been shown to reduce further suicide attempts by 50% within a year following the initial incident. Instead of perceiving survival as a wake-up call for the fleeting preciousness of life, family and friends of the victim need to think of it as an indicator of future risk and respond accordingly The only responsible reaction encourages therapy as the most viable solution to prevent further incidents.

4. Talking to someone who is suicidal about suicide just makes the urge even worse.

When a friend or family member begins opening up and admitting suicidal thoughts, ignoring their comments or changing the subject actually pushes them further towards going through with these actions. Talking about suicide with a loved one openly and objectively serves as a safeguard until the victim receives professional help. If confronted with a potentially suicidal situation, the best reaction is to call an emergency number (such as 911 in the United States or 999 in some countries in Europe and Asia or a suicide hotline so the individual connects with people trained to handle their situation. Never leave the victim unattended, and be sure to clear the room of any firearms or other potentially deadly devices. By acknowledging their status as suicidal, friends and family may actually stave off fatal behavior. Victims want help, they want someone to intervene and assist them in combating the swarming demons of overwhelming desperation they face daily. Talking to them may not always reduce the urge, but it never actively encourages them to follow through with suicide, either. A proper reaction that proactively guides victims into valuable therapy shows the compassion, love, and care that they need to try and make themselves healthier. Only ignoring or making little effort to understand the issue stimulates the urge to commit suicide.

5. Suicide occurs without warning; there are no ways to prevent it.

Individuals with the following traits run a higher risk of committing suicide: depression or anxiety disorders, substance abuse, prior attempts, victim of sexual or physical abuse, family or friend of a suicide victim, incarceration, gun ownership, and social marginalization. Obviously, potential suicides do not always carry one or more of these traits, nor do they inherently indicate suicidal behavior. However, educating oneself on what sort of factors to look out for and who suffers the biggest risk makes for the best method of prevention possible. Putting forth the effort to understand and look out for the warning signs may mean the difference between life and death.

If a friend of family member begins displaying some early signs of suicidal thoughts or behavior, their loved ones are partially responsible for intervening and preventing attempts. Social withdrawal, a preoccupation with death, the intensification of depressive behavior, apathy, engaging in risky behaviors, attempting to tie up loose ends, and – in extreme cases – writing up a will, saying goodbye to people, and outright discussing wanting to die all stand out as signifiers of a potential suicide. Also look out for a major shift from extreme depression to an overall sense of calm. This indicates that the victim may have found peace and comfort in a decision to kill him- or herself and needs to be dealt with before following through with it. While variables always inevitably creep in, the aforementioned red flags generally point towards disconcerting behavior that must be addressed before it becomes too late.

6. Suicidal people just want to die, and it’s impossible to talk them down.

The decision to commit suicide is not static. If an individual begins opening up about desiring death, it is possible for them to step down from their choice. While the understanding and support from family and friends remains the first line of defense, therapy remains the only viable long-term solution to prevent suicide. Even if a victim gives up on his or her decision to die due to the assistance of a loved one with all the right ideas and preparations, regular sessions with a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist reduces the risk of suicide by half after one year – something that love and compassion from friends and family alone cannot achieve. If an individual suffers from an immediate risk of suicide, then dialing an emergency number will provide access to professionals far better equipped to handle the direness of the situation. Never, under any circumstances, leave them unattended for any period of time until help arrives.

7. An improvement in emotional state means the risk of suicide is lowered.

Frequently, the opposite of this statement is the truism. One of the biggest warning signs that an individual may follow through with plans to commit suicide is a rapid shift between despair and overarching calm, even happiness. Even if the victim currently attends therapy sessions, rarely do moods alter so dramatically from negative to positive. Signs of peace after a severe and prolonged bout of hopelessness or depression may signal the decision to commit suicide as a permanent solution to overwhelming problems. Be sure to keep a sharp eye out for the other indicators mentioned earlier if the victim’s mood rapidly improves without provocation.

8. Unsuccessful suicide attempts means the victim never cared to die in the first place.

Individuals survive suicide attempts for any number of reasons. Happenstance or the timely intervention of a loved one usually accounts for a victim not fully succumbing to death. Depending on the method, victims may even end up critically injured or in a coma. A number of different factors make up the difference between a fatality and a survival, but just because an individual lives through a suicide attempt does not mean they were never serious about dying in the first place. Actually, the fact that they even tried to commit suicide in the first place ought to explicitly tip off friends and family that the victim honestly wants to end his or her life. In fact, suicide survivors run a higher risk of future attempts, so it is integral that they seek professional help immediately in order to prevent further incidents.

9. Telling the suicidal to cheer up will help.

Much like clinical depression – a mental illness which comprises almost 90% of suicide cases each year – victims do not turn around simply by being told to cheer up and remain positive. A considerable amount of overwhelming mental, emotional, and/or physical pain factors into suicidal thoughts and actions, and while support and compassion can certainly help bring a victim back down from the brink it is unfortunately not enough to solve all of the underlining issues. Only professional therapy through a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist can really dissect a patients’ problems and help nurture the mindsets and skills necessary for practicing healthy coping mechanisms in the long run. It is not a matter of merely cheering up. It is a matter of confronting the torment that leads them to perceive death as the only viable option to escape the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune.

10. Suicidal thoughts need to be kept secret so as not to embarrass or upset anyone.

Because suicide comes yoked with so many misunderstandings labeling the victims as weak, psychotic, or desperate for attention, it has sadly become a shameful, demonized subject too taboo to discuss objectively. Those feeling the tug of wanting to die are led to believe that they must simply choke back and fight the urge. They fear broaching such a hefty, weighty subject with loved ones because of how society unfairly paints their plight, believing that honesty may result in ostracizing of further marginalization. Truthfully, any time suicidal thoughts crop up they must be expressed to someone trustworthy – a family member, a friend, a hotline number, or a therapist. No matter what, there is always somebody out there willing to offer an ear and advice on finding a professional who will help quell the suffering in the long term. While friends and family will never react positively to news of suicidal thoughts, they would much rather address the issue as it arises instead of bury a loved one. Never be ashamed to the point of suppressing suicidal feelings. Openness and honesty between the victim and trusted peers means the difference between life and death.

Only by making an effort to truly understand the realities behind suicide can humanity honestly hope to prevent it. The previous ten myths only sadly skim the surface of an overarching social issue. Far too many frown more upon the persons feeling suicidal rather than the act itself, further pushing them towards a desperate act. Fortunately, concerned friends, family, and mental health professionals with the right intentions and ideas towards approaching the subject have a number of extremely valuable resources at their disposal.

If a loved one appears to be in immediate danger, dial 911, 999, or other emergency number and do not leave their side until professional help arrives. Remove any and all weaponry, toxins, and other hazards from the vicinity. Those considering suicide in the United States may call 1-800-SUICIDE for Hopeline and 1-800-273-TALK for Suicide Prevention Lifeline. SPL also offers a deaf hotline at 1-800-779-4TTY. Individual states and cities may also provide phone numbers to dial in the event of suicidal thoughts and behaviors as well. Befrienders Worldwide lists hotlines from a large number of nations for those needing help outside the US. Remember that while these phone numbers play an integral roll in pulling victims back from their suicidal inclinations, they are intended only as a stepping stone towards a long-term solution rather than the solution in and of itself. Only professional therapy addresses the core issues that lead to suicide, and anyone considering it as an option to escape the overwhelming pain must find a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist to get the help they need in order to live a healthy life away from their demons.

Uggs are the shoe fashion for girls at my school. Pretty much everyone wears them everyday. Most girls have multiple pairs.  Multiple designs.  Uggs are a bit like Eskimo boots and look stylish. They come in different colors, they’re fuzzy on the inside, outrageously expensive, and every girl in my grade has at least one pair. Except me. Is this a reason for me to buy them? I think not.

A popular design in my class

Uggs are not my style. I don’t like how they look on me. True, they are comfy, but not me.

Other girls in my class have said things like: “Oh, you’d look so good in Uggs” or, “you should get Uggs because they’re really comfy.” Do I get Uggs? Definitely not. Just because everyone has something, doesn’t mean you have to have it. True, if I got them, others might think I was cool, but I wouldn’t be me.’

Today, every girl in my grade wore their Uggs and they were psyched about it. True, I wasn’t part of that, but I didn’t wish that I was. I’ve never seriously considered doing what others do in order to please them. I wouldn’t be being myself.

The Bug’s hair is long and flowing. It’s been long and flowing since the day she entered the world. And while everyone swore that it would fall out, it’s done anything but. It’s continued to grow like a weed, finally weighing it down so as to lose the au natural mohawk. <Tear> My little hipster now just looks like an awkward baby Beetle. And we’re on our way to baby mullet. Oh yeah, business in the front, PARTY in the back. And by party, I mean a rattail, but the 80s are TOTALLY making a comeback. She is SO in vogue- ahead of the trend.

Right.

Anyway.

It’s gotten so long and flowing that it has begun to fall into her eyes, causing many a blinking and lots of feeble attempts to pin it back and away from the offended eyeballs. You attempt to barrett back a wee babe’s fine, silky hair while she squirms and wiggles and protests. It’s like a game of greased watermelon but with hair and without the Crisco. So kind of a bad analogy, but you get the idea.

It ain’t easy.

James has been encouraging me to cut it for some time, claiming that I am causing the Bug much trauma by forcing her to deal with bangs in her face. I’ve resisted, because who honestly cuts a five-month old’s hair?

Probably parents with hairy babies but details.

Then my dad came into town, and he jumped on the cut-the-Bug’s-locks bandwagon, offering additional peer pressure and sympathy for my POOR, LONG SUFFERING, hair-in-eyes child. How could I be so cruel?! I might as well club a baby seal. It would be LESS deleterious.

So I began to feel like Cruella Deville, proposing to make puppy skin coats out of our family’s ancient Dalmatian while my cousin IT babe looked on. The guilt was profound and I’m not even JEWISH! Or Catholic!

So I caved.

And because it is impossible to cut a five-month old baby’s hair before she can properly sit up right sans assistance without causing the loss of an appendage, I did it while breastfeeding. As in, when she was horizontal, on my bare boob, offering to pierce my nipples while I wielded sharp scissors. Needless to say, it was a scene. The Bug may have swallowed some of her own hair thanks to the snow-fall of locks during snack time, and the cut may be anything but even.

If I were her, I would DEMAND my money back.

James kept swearing that it wasn’t THAT bad- until I sent a picture to my mother and sister who threw a fit. HOW COULD I DO THAT TO MY BABY?! Turn her into a little Dutch Boy, except even MORE awkward. As though that were possible.

I left it up to my babysitter to gauge the damage. She hadn’t seen Addison in two weeks, and this morning when she arrived I didn’t mention what I had done. Not five minutes went by, and I hear, Hey Ashley? Did you cut Addison’s bangs?

Shit.

Every gal’s gotta go through one bad haircut, right? RIGHT?!

(I promise I’ll attach a picture- my laptop from the Jurassic era is having a mini-meltdown so give me a couple days to coax her back to health. And in the meantime, refer to above Dutch boy image. It gives you a sense of what we’re dealing with).

I did it. I caved in thanks to the persistence of my friend Jackee. I can’t believe it but I signed up for match.com. I couldn’t do a 6 month commitment so I did the one month deal, and thus far I am not impressed with all the toohotforu49s, but I’ll be open minded… for now… hm.

Any advice, tips or tricks for online dating??

After last month’s horrific incident that nearly ended a 15-year old Michael Brewer’s  life, a 14-year old in Miami brings a gun to school while the teacher notices this student scribbling names on a paper.  What was it?  He remarked to the teacher he wanted to kill another student.  The police later found a handgun in his backpack.

Thankfully the teacher alerted authorities, she is an example of being proactive and definitely a teacher that needs to be commended for her immediate response. 

What is going on with teens today?  Why are they turning to criminal activity?

Criminal Activity and Your Teen
For many kids, adolescence is a trying phase of life. Body changes, school pressures, and personality changes can be very overwhelming to your teen when occurring all at once. Because of these pressures, adolescents can be more susceptible to things like peer pressure. Whether it’s out of a desire to fit in or stand out, your normally levelheaded teen can be easily pressured into committing dangerous and illegal acts they might never otherwise consider.

Sometimes, these activities are relatively harmless, and can include things like dying their hair a bold color, or cutting a class or two. But often, many teens find the desire to fit in so strong they are willing to compromise their own morals to be part of the ‘in’ crowd. They may be more likely to experiment with drugs or alcohol, or commit other criminal activities, all for the sake of ‘fitting in’.

Though there are many dangers your teen may encounter, this site deals specifically with teenagers and criminal activity, like shoplifting, vandalism, and violent crime. Teens can partake in these activities for many reasons- peer pressure being just one of a long list of possibilities.
 

References: NBC6 News, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Teen Criminal Activity Awareness, Teen and Youth Violence Prevention

Click here  to read more articles about Parenting Teens.

Also on Examiner.com

ellazuri wordpress.com . is my erotic story site

neemashaw.wordpress.com is my life story

queeniecat.wordpress.com is just me dribbling my crap to the world

catscooking.wordpress.com is me the domestic Goddess of cooking

What makes a person unique?

How can I be an individual in a society of labels and stereotypes? Is there a way to be unique without being weird?

UNIQUE IS NOT

χ Consulting fashion magazines over what clothes to buy
χ Copying the hairstyles of celebrities
χ Listening to a music genre just because it represents a social style
χ Parotting popular phrases
χ Taking risks to earn kids’ respect
χ Changing something about yourself to suit someone else

UNIQUE IS

√ Openly liking things whether they’re popular or not
√ Listening to music that YOU like, whatever label it has
√ Inventing your own hairstyles, not copying them
√ Wearing clothes that you like, not clothes that make a statement
√ Speaking naturally all the time, the way you do at home
√ Seeing how pathetic kids are when they give in to pressure from the crowd

If you really want to be unique, stop worrying about labels! Don’t limit your likes and dislikes to the type of group you want to fit in with. If you like wearing Goth clothes, then wear them. It doesn’t mean you have to listen to Goth music. You might like Pop or Hip-Hop – and there’s nothing wrong with that! If you like Emo hairstyles, it doesn’t mean you have to cut your wrists and dress in dark colours. If you have blonde hair, it doesn’t mean you have to dress in skimpy outfits and talk like a bimbo. If you secretly love Country music, or Star Trek, or something that your friends don’t appreciate, then be proud of it! It means YOU are an individual.

When you watch TV, don’t imitate everything you see. When you see advertisements, don’t buy everything you’re told to. When you’re at a party, don’t drink whatever makes you look cool. When you choose your friends, don’t choose them based on how they dress. When you’re pressured to do something and you don’t want to do it, don’t give in.

When you’re asked why, just say: “Because I’ve got my own mind.”

You may think of yourself as “cool”, “popular”, or “one of them”
But really, it’s all a cover-up for “wannabe” and “loser”

The real “cool” ones are the people who have their own style, don’t give a shit to what everyone else thinks, reaches and works for their goals and tries the unspeakable

So ask yourself again, are you cool, or a wannabe ?