Runners come in two distinct models.  There are the ripped, muscular sprinters that generally run 400 meters or less, and then there are the waif-thin endurance specialists that dominate anything of a mile or more.  There are obvious physiological advantages that come into play here, and no amount of training is going to completely over-ride the capabilities that are hard-wired into our genetics.  Hence a superbly trained muscular guy like Lance Armstrong struggles to finish a 3-hour marathon.

In endurance sport circles the big guys are jokingly referred to as “Clydesdales”, and many races have separate divisions and awards for these larger entrants.   There is no official definition of this weight class, but it’s generally in the 175-195 pound range.  To get an idea how thin most endurance athletes are, in some races the Clyde division starts at just 165 pounds for men, and 135 pounds for the women (aka Fillys or Athenas).

While the exact weight of a Clydesdale may be subject to debate, the term very clearly tells you all you need to know about large runners.   They’re better equipped to be towing wagons than running fast for long distances.  You’ll get no argument on this point from me.  For as long as I can remember I have loved anything strength related (sprinting, jumping, weightlifting) but loathed those occasions where I had to push myself for longer periods of time. 

I think that I can remember just about every long run (more than a few hundred yards) I ever had as a kid.  Most were timed runs in PE class, and the pain and misery made a lasting impression.  I have a vivid recollection of struggling in high school to finish a one-mile run in under 6 minutes (I barely missed), and this was when I was on the track team.  Yes, I was definitely a sprinter and field event guy.  In my two years of Varsity track the longest I ever ran in training was one lap— 440 yards—and I only did that one time!  I always managed to hide whenever the running got serious.

Fast-forward 30+ years, and I’m competing again, but now it’s in masters track & field competitions.  I’ve decided that the multi-events (pentathlon, decathlon, heptathlon) are going to be my strong suit, but there’s a problem.  There’s always one distance race included in the multis.  Indoors it’s the 1000 meters, and outdoors it’s the 15oo.  So that means my days of hiding were over…I was going to have to start doing some intense running workouts… the dreaded speed intervals. 

I’ve written about these runs on multiple occasions.  They’re tough, they hurt, but they do the job and help me to maintain my speed over a longer distance.  In the past most of these runs have been in the 400-1200 meter range.  However this fall I decided to increase the volume of my workouts and to stretch the distance of my longer intervals up to a mile.  As these mile times began to drop I remembered back to my high school days and started thinking about giving that sub-6 minute mile another shot.  I’d actually gotten down as low as 6:07 last year, so I knew if I put my mind to it I could do it.  Then late last month I happened across this blog post that challenged readers to set goals for November.  So that’s when I wrote it down and got serious about breaking that barrier.

Now I know that for just about any average “runner” a 6 minute mile is nothing more than a warm-up.  But for me, 51 years old, 185 pounds, and with lungs I swear must be the size of walnuts, it’s a big deal.  Just getting to the point where I can think about attempting it has taken many months of intense training.   And if I can get it done, it means I’m more fit cardiovascularly than I’ve ever been in my life.   That’s huge in my book. 

Today is Thanksgiving, and a few days ago I tentatively selected this as the day I would make my attempt on the record.  I figured that if something went wrong  I would have a few more days to give it another shot before the end of the month.  I ran some  500 meter intervals on Monday, did an easy 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical on Tuesday, and took the day off yesterday.  I woke up this morning feeling rested and strong, headed into HealthQuest, then spent the first couple of hours getting some work done and getting myself mentally prepared for the assault.  I knew I could get through the first 3 laps (our treads can display a 400m track) without too much trouble, but the last lap worried me.  Even if I was successful it could very well prove to be a miserable, painful experience.  And failure would be all that and depressing too.

Finally around 10am I got warmed up and decided to go for it.  My plan was to go at a steady pace (10mph) for the first 15oo meters, then if all went well I would bump it up a notch for the last 100 to make sure I came in at under 6 minutes.  So off I went.  At the halfway mark I was still feeling remarkably relaxed and my confidence started to build.  After 1200  meters I knew I had it in the bag.  I’ve run enough laps now to know how much I have left in the tank, and I was sure that I had plenty.  Just as planned I kicked up my pace for the last 100 meters and cruised across the finish line in 5:57.  I immediately hit the “pause” button, caught my breath, then grabbed my camera to document my accomplishment.

While it was a hard run, I definitely didn’t push as hard as I have in some of my previous training runs.  In fact after a short rest I was able to run two additional 1000 meter intervals at 9.5 mph.  And while it felt great to finally break that 6 minute barrier, I think the best part was that I was able to do it without killing myself.  I don’t think it took any more out of me then any other hard workout, and I’m pretty sure that tomorrow I can just fall right back into my regular training routine.

It’s also more evidence that I’m further along in my training than I was last year at this time.   I guess that’s the one positive about being so slow when I started my training.  I can continue to get faster even though I’m getting older.  That’s always a nice boost for the confidence.

November has been a good training month for me and I’m feeling pretty darn happy with the direction I’m heading.  Writing down some short-term goals was the key that got me re-focused and re-energized.   Thanks Maria for that reminder!

If you were paying attention, and I’ll assume that you were, as hanging on my every word is quite unavoidable, you’ll notice where I called this page a sports site. This is only partially true (you’ll find, as we go forward, that partial truths are one of my many fortes, along with sneaky lies, eloquent hyperbole, and expertly placed scorn). In addition to sports, I will also be covering games. To deal with issues of server space and short attention spans, the two have been amalgamated under the catch-all phrase “sports” in such a way that they’ve lost all distinction. Well, I’m here to set the record straight… which should have been listed amongst my fortes… setting the record straight. I’m very good at it.

And actually, the distinction is quite simple to understand… and here’s the litmus test; if a fat 60 year old can do it moderately well, it’s not a sport, it’s a game. Simple as that.

So let’s get to it, shall we?

But first, let’s start by saying I’m not going to mention anything that’s so obviously a game that its’ combatants won’t even complain at having it called so. These include poker, backgammon, Madden challenge, Scrabble, spelling bees, etc… These have at most a very little physical aspect to them, and thus don’t qualify as a sport under any definition of the world. Plus, a fat 60 year old, after some practice, could be the best in the world at any of them.

American Football – Sport. Clearly, our fat 60 year old could strap on a helmet and shoulder pads and proceed to play the game, but this is where the “moderately well” portion of our litmus test comes into play. I would also recommend a stretcher, ambulance, priest and his loved ones be nearby.

Archery - Game. Games can be broken down into two categories… strictly mental games, like the ones mentioned above (Poker, Backgammon, etc…), or games that combine both mental and physical aspects. Alas, when it comes to archery’s physicality, we’re talking hand-eye coordination (true of many games) and average levels of strength. A fat 60 year old can handle those aspects.

Australian Rules Football – Sport. I would, though, like to see our fat 60 year old in one of these. Wait, no I wouldn’t. Forget I said that.

Auto Racing – Game. Let’s be honest here… the cars are the athletes. They’re the ones competing in a sport. The drivers, not so much. Yes, it’s physically and mentally demanding… but can you really sit there and tell me, perched on your high chair like you most certainly are, that a fat 60 year old couldn’t win one race, let alone do moderately well? Already, Mark Martin of Nascar fares quite well at age 50, and the oldest winner was 52. Formula one’s oldest winner was 53. And we’ve got a fat guy that regularly wins in Tony Stewart. Would he win? Probably not. Could he do moderately well? Definitely.

Badminton – Sport. Yes, our fat 60 year old, depending on what strata of society he finds himself within, might play regularly… probably with regular breaks for tea and judging people. But put that same fat 60 year old in a competitive environment, and he loses every time. There’s nothing “moderately well” about that.

Baseball – Sport. Baseball’s one of the trickier ones to call, actually. Most players are involved in a sport, but pitchers, particularly those pansies from the American League (what with the designated hitter rule), might be playing a game. We’ve seen plenty of successful fat guys… C.C. Sabathia, David Wells, Bartolo Colon, Jumbo Brown… most of them pitchers (though certainly the aforementioned designated hitter and first base are prone to successful fat guys, like Cecil Fielder, and John Kruk)… but could our 60 year old do it, at least moderately well? Maybe, but he’d have to be pretty special. And since most baseball players qualify as athletes playing a sport (unless you could see our fat 60 year old chase down a fly ball, or steal second… I don’t), we’ll call baseball a sport.

Basketball – Sport. Through and through. Even if our fat 60 year old was 7′4″, he still wouldn’t hold up, and that’s saying something.

Bobsleigh – Game. Any activity where gravity does the most work is a game. That fact should maybe be at the top, but at least it’s here. A fat person actually benefits from these kinds of games. As a matter of fact, until the governing body instituted a weight-limit rule in 1952, bobsleigh crews were very heavy. It should also be noted that bobsleigh inverse to baseball, as the pusher might actually be playing a sport, at least at the start of the race. This is of course before the gravity takes over, and it’s the pusher’s job to get the sled moving. But for most of the race, all members of the team are playing a game, hence, its’ designation here.

Bossaball – Sport. And a wild one at that. And just look at that photo (you’ll have to hover over “bossaball” to see it)… if any of you know a fat 60 year old that could even do that without gravely injuring him/herself, I want their name and number. I have an idea for a viral video. Oh, and if you want to know just what the hell bossaball is, check this out.

Boules – Game. Uh, yeah. This one’s obvious, right? From a class of games that includes Bocce, Lawn Bowling, Petanque, Boule Lyonaisse, Klootschieten and Varpa… games seemingly specifically created for the elderly (but fun nonetheless).

Bowling – Game. Again, no questions here, right? If so, just head to your local bowling alley. You’ll see plenty of fat, drunk 60 year olds bowling in the 200’s regularly. Not a sport.

Boxing – Sport. This one’s a bit thorny. George Foreman, at this very moment, is a fat 60 year old (ironic for a man synonymous with the Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine, but I digress). Could he really not fare at least moderately well in the ring today? Probably so… but this one comes with a caveat. The only way this could work is in the heavyweight division, where lumbering, plodding heavy punchers will always have a place. You can be all of those things as a fat 60 year old. In no other weight class would this be plausible. So on the whole, boxing’s a sport, whether the heavyweight division is a game or not.

Competitive Dance – Sport. So us macho types, like, for instance, myself, don’t like to admit that dance is a sport. But step back and take a look at it… extreme athleticism? Check. Very competitive? Check. Exclusion of fat 60 year olds? That’s a big fat check. And those of you who have been to a competitive dance… uh… competition?… and seen the merciless backstabbing and cutthroat sabotage that regularly unfolds know damn well that this is no game.

Cricket – Sport. The art of bowling sets cricket apart from baseball. As opposed to the standstill throw a pitcher delivers, the bowler’s is a violent, full-body action with an extended run-up that would certainly throw out the backs of most fat 60 year olds. Even the act of batting is more involved, as batsmen have been known to switch sides of the wicket while the bowler is in his run-up (this would be akin to a right-handed batter jumping over home plate to bat left-handed during a pitcher’s windup). No easy feat, and no place for a fat 60 year old to tread.

Curling – Game. There’s nothing about this game that a fat 60 year old couldn’t handle. They might be the best in the world at it, for all I know.

Cycling – Sport. A fat 60 year old in spandex? We don’t think so.

Darts – Game. One of the few games where being a fat 60 year old is an advantage.

Decathlon/Heptathlon/Pentathlon – Sport. This would, of course, be the end of our fat 60 year old. We had some good times, fat 60 year old. We’ll always remember you.

Disc Golf – Game. Another addendum; if stoners, hippies and other movement-reluctant bums fancy it, it’s a game.

Discus Throw – Game. The actual throwing of the discus any fat 60 year old could handle, and while some of them might be hilariously awful, some could reach the “moderately well” threshold… that’s the rub. It’s the leadup to the toss that gets a bit dicey. Most athletic 25 years olds will end up on their ass following it… and a fat 60 year old? He’ll get vertigo… unless… he/she was already an experienced discus thrower. A former champion, let’s say. Could he/she still fare moderately well? Of course.

Diving – Game. Here’s the thing… at the elite level, yes, diving is heavily populated by 15 year old, 58 pound Asians. But tack on 45 years and 200 pounds to those same Asians… and splashy, cannonball-esque entry aside, could they not at least fare reasonably well in a diving competition? I think so, yes.

Downhill Skiing – Sport. OK, let me explain. Yes, gravity plays a major role here, in fact, it’s the agent propelling the skier down the hill. But what sets downhill skiing apart from say the bobsleigh or the luge is that the skiier must use his/her athleticism against gravity, to turn, sometimes sharply. Without the ability to do so, the ability to fare, oh, I don’t know, let’s say moderately well, goes down the tubes. Our fat 60 year old would be carried faster than most down the hill, thanks to the “fat” part, would his/her 60 year old muscles be able to turn him/her appropriately? We have our doubts.

Equestrian – Game. Again, who’s the athlete here? Is it the person riding the horse, or the horse doing all the work? The horses are certainly competing in a sport… the person sitting on the horse? Not so much. Though we will admit that we certainly feel for the horse that has a fat 60 year old on its’ back.

Fencing – Game. We’ll admit, fencing takes incredible instincts and quickness, and the reflexes of a… uh…. well, something that has really fast reflexes. So we’re under no illusion that a fat 60 year old could be a champion. But let’s say renowned champion Sergei Golubitsky hits 60 and has let himself go a little (or a lot, whatever picture you throw into that head of yours). Were he to enter a competition, could he not fare at least moderately well? It says here he could.

Figure Skating – Sport. Unless points were awarded for sliding along the ice on your ass or stomach, our fat 60 year old would stand no chance here. None at all. Though, this does give me an idea. Who wouldn’t pay money to watch fat 60 year olds attempt some of these advanced moves. It’d be a train wreck, and train wrecks make good televsion… hmmmmm…. We’d have to come up with some appropriate clothing, but yeah, I think I could make it work.

Fishing/Angling – Game. Go watch your local fishing tournament this weekend. Take note of the number of people that aren’t fat 60 year olds. Now, nod in agreement with me.

Gaelic Football – Sport. A fat 60 year old would spend the entire game getting embarrassed, thus causing him, if he’s Irish (as we would expect, if he’s playing Gaelic Football), to pick a fight with every player on the pitch, followed by that particularly intoxicating brand of Irish violence… utter chaos, generally speaking… which would subsequently lead to everyone getting drunk together and singing songs. Stereotypical? You betcha… but I’ve lived it. And stereotypes exist for a reason, right?

Golf – Game. First, it’s a favorite of fat 60 year olds. Second, you could easily see one heating up and shooting a 70 on the same day Tiger Woods shoots a 72. An activity where you could play better than the world’s best? That’s a game, my friends. Let’s put that same fat guy up against Lebron James in a game of one-on-one. Does he ever win? Of course not. If we tied one of James’ arms behind his back, does the fat 60 year old ever win? Of course not. I believe I’ve eagled this one.

Gymnastics – Sport. OK, picture the fat 60 year old, and let’s go with a male. Now… and this won’t be easy… picture him in a unitard. Get past it, you can do it. OK, good. Now, picture him going through a routine on the pommel horse. How many times did he crush his nuts? 30? 40? No, this is no place for a fat 60 year old.

Hammer Throw – Game. Like the discus throw, the problem lies in the lead up to the throw. And like the discus throw, most people would end up on all fours attempting such a thing, with probably a vertigo supplementation for our fat 60 year old. But, like the discus, an experienced discus thrower who just happens to be fat and 60 could fare moderately well… thus… it’s a game.

Handball – Sport. Like many sports, a fat 60 year old could play handball, and like all of them, against decent competition, he’d get embarrassed to the point of taking up shuffleboard.

Hockey – Sport. Whether it be the ice or the field variety, the end results are the same. Our fat 60 year old hospitalized, probably with a feeding tube and catheter. It wouldn’t be pretty.

Horse Racing – Game. A great sport for horses, a decent game for humans. Again, how is this a sport for jockeys? Actually, let’s put it this way, if the real athlete in the sport (the horse) would be better off without human involvement (you know, faster without something on its’ back), then it’s no sport for humans. There. And yes, we’d need a very special, strong horse for our fat 60 year old, but there’s one out there that could lead it to a moderately decent finish.

Hurling – Sport. And one I’m not sure should be legal. Picture, Americans, a combination of baseball, soccer and handball. That’s right, they run around with what amounts to baseball bats in their hands, freely swinging them on the field of battle, with others all around them. Hence the helmets. I don’t think we should allow our fat 60 year old to even try this one. Let’s move on.

Hydroplane Racing – Game. Another sport where the humans are just controlling the athletes… in this case, crazy-fast boats. And another one a fat 60 year old would fancy his chances in. He might even prevent things like this from happening, what with the extra weight and all.

Jai Alai – Sport. I don’t think “the fastest sport in the world” is any place for a fat 60 year old. I don’t know, maybe that’s just me, but I’m gonna go ahead and give this one the sport nod, and move on, thus saving the life of our fat 60 year old, in all probability. Ed Honcho, hero.

Javelin Throw – Game. As with most throwing sports, where your average fat 60 year old wouldn’t be able to compete, one with experience should be able to at least fare moderately well. Hence the designation as a game. They are the Olympic Games, after all, right?

Jumping – Sport. This includes the High Jump, Long/Broad Jump and Triple Jump, not to mention certain obstacles for fat 60 year olds… namely, the whole jumping part.

Luge – Game. This falls under our aforementioned gravity rule (see: bobsleigh). Our 60 year old’s girth would do nothing but help him/her. Sure, he/she might end up in the hospital, but that’s true of thin 26 year olds as well.

Martial Arts – Sport. Unlike boxing’s heavyweight division, there are very few plodding, heavy hitters when it comes to any discipline of the martial arts. My recommendation to our fat 60 year old? Start tapping out as soon as the competition begins. I’m tired of these hospital bills. It’s starting to add up.

Motorcycle Racing – Game. Again, and maybe I should just put this on repeat. The humans here aren’t the real athletes. The motorcycles are. They’re the ones competing in a sport. The humans… simply enjoying their game. And sure, your average 60 year old would struggle… but a former motorcyle jockey who spent 10 years gorging on Tastykakes? He could fare, you guessed it, moderately well.

Netball/Korfball – Sport. Very similar to basketball, though not quite as arduous physically as one’s movement is restricted. Thus, at amateurish levels, a fat 60 year old could hold his/her own. But once we start to creep into the levels of “moderately decent”, the fat 60 year old falls short.

Orienteering/Rogaining – Game. Navigation-based competitions will always fall into the category of games, for obvious reasons, the most clear being that many fat 60 year olds already participate, and can certainly fare at least moderately well. The “fat” part undoubtedly doesn’t help, as these competitions are all on foot, but this deficiency can be made up for in other areas.

Pole Vault – Sport. The mere idea of a fat 60 year old attempting the pole vault has me sitting in my chair laughing my ass off (or SIMCLMAO, from here forward). This is no game.

Polo – Game. This is a combo event between the horse and the human, with the horse playing a sport and the human playing a hand-eye-coordination-based game. Our fat 60 year old could play this game, with a big enough horse, and play it quite well.

Racewalking – Game. This one just feels like a game, doesn’t it? It’s got that game funk all over it. And I’m not coming at this from a “what’s shoved up those guys asses?” point of view either. Nope. I know they’re great at what they do, and it takes talent. It’s just, what’s the ceiling on speed if you’re walking? And what’s the ceiling on speed if you’re a former racewalking champ who’s put on a few and 60 years old? Are they that far apart? That’s the thing. The slower racewalking speeds allow for the discrepancies in time to remain close, as opposed to running, where the difference increases exponentially. Thus, our fat 60 year old can log his/her moderately well and move on with his/her life.

Rock Climbing/Bouldering – Sport. Yeah, our guy would be dead. Fat and rock climbing/bouldering go together like…. uh, fat and… modeling. I don’t know. Two things that don’t go together very well. Cut me some slack, I’ve run out of coffee.

Rowing – Game. This one’s not so easy. Could a fat 60 year old row well. Yes, and with great power. Would his/her girth keep him/her from our “moderately well” standard? We say no, not if he/she were an experienced rower. This one definitely toes the border between sport and game, though. But hey, the rules are the rules… hard and fast. Just like me. Except for fast. Sometimes… depends what we’re talking about. Let’s just move on.

Rugby – Sport. Sure, Rugby (both League and Union) has its’ fat guys, but they’re not really fat guys, they’re just sports fat guys. You know, the kind of guy that drinks all night and doesn’t pay any attention to what he puts in his body… fish & chips, meat pies, etc… But they’re not really fat, not by society’s standards, at least. They’re just sports fat. Our 60 year old is society fat, plus, you know, he’s 60. He might hold his own in a scrum, but otherwise, it’s back to the hospital with him.

Running – Sport. Including sprints, marathons, hurdles, etc… And we’re moving on.

Sailing – Game. Now, we certainly don’t want to downplay what they do, but could a fat 60 year old be part of a winning team? You betcha. Could he win an individual competition? Unlikely, but could we expect him to do reasonably well? Were he a former champion, yes, we could. And I’m sticking with it, no matter how many hateful emails I get.

Shooting – Game. Encompassing sporting clays, skeet and trap shooting, our fat 60 year old is already moving into the semifinals.

Shot Put – Game. Our fat 60 year old is excited to try this one out. No running, no jumping, just sheer strength. And it says here they’ll fare at least moderately well.

Shuffleboard – Game. Funny story, our fat 60 year old is actually the reigning world shuffleboard champion. True story.

Skateboarding – Sport. We’re eagerly anticipating our fat 60 year old’s turn on the half-pipe. We’re guessing the judges don’t throw the term “moderately well” around. Maybe something more along the lines of “OH MY GOD! CALL 9-1-1!!!”

Ski Jump – Game. The ski jump, as opposed to downhill skiing, requires very little active resistance to gravity. Gravity hurls it’s participants down the ramp, a small, quick, powerful burst of the legs when the ramp turns up, then it’s all about holding your form. Our fat 60 year old, a former ski jumper, could handle this sort of thing, and his performance would be deemed “moderately well,” grammar be damned.

Snowboarding – Sport. And this includes virtually every form of snowboarding sport there is, whether it be boardercross, halfpipe, big air, slopestyle or simply racing. Now, some of them do start to creep into game territory… for instance, our fat 60 year old could get good air, and maybe perform enough tricks to fare moderately well… but we doubt it. And the rest of the events would leave him/her at the ski lodge in a full body cast… so yeah, we’re going sport.

Speed Skating – Sport. It’s a matter of sheer physics, really. As our fat 60 year old made a turn, provided he/she had any sort of speed built up, the centrifugal force would carry him/her into the boards, everytime… partly because their mass would be difficult to stop/turn, and also because their older legs wouldn’t be able to do it. I like to call it the “law of hilarious crashes where hopefully nobody gets hurt”. I am having some trouble getting it to stick. Maybe you guys can help me out? Spread the word. Spread the love.

Soccer/Football/Calcio/Futbol – Sport. Sure, lots of fat 60 year olds play soccer, but have you watched them? Let’s just say that their version is a sedentary one, rife with mis-kicks, hand-balls, shin-shots, beer and singing. OK, so it’s not that much different than the EPL… but just enough that our fat 60 year old narrowly fails the test.

Softball – Game. Though really, the way women play it, it’s a sport. But the way the vast majority of people play it, it’s barely a game. More like a mixer, or a party, or something between grilling and horseshoes. Our fat 60 year old is right at home.

Surfing – Sport. First of all, fat, in the surfing world, means shark food. Second, well, let’s go back to physics. The best surfers don’t sit too far down in the water. They skim the surface. Fat means skimming becomes more difficult… means jumps don’t look as good… means tubes aren’t properly navigated… means “moderately well” is out of the picture.

Swimming – Sport. Unless you consider drowning a success, in which case, you need to go talk to someone. Seriously.

Table Tennis – Game. To play at the highest level, with the best of the best, you cannot be fat, or 60. It takes hummingbird-like reflexes that, let’s face it, have left our fat 60 year old over time. But to play the game moderately well? Our fat 60 year old can handle that, especially if he/she has history in the game.

Tennis – Sport. It’s like table tennis, if the table were expanded to 10 times it’s normal size and you got on top of it. This means 10 times more ground to cover for our fat 60 year old. That’s about 9 times too much.

Triathlon – Sport. Maybe if the swim were 25 yards, the bike 1/4 of a mile, and the run 30 steps… maybe, our fat 60 year old could fight his/her way into the “moderately well” category. Anything more and he/she suffers a stroke.

Ultimate Frisbee – Sport. That’s right. Ultimate has moved out of the realm of hippies and stoners and been taken over by real athletes. The amount of athleticism required to catch the many errant throws that occur alone dooms our fat 60 year old (and if you don’t believe me, check out the photo if you hover over “ultimate frisbee”, or this one).

Volleyball – Sport. If we’re talking water volleyball, our 60 year old might stand a chance. But beach, or indoor? Uh, no. Even if he/she were 7′0″ tall, his/her lack of quicks would doom him/her. Plus, that’s not even an insurmountable heighth these days when it comes to volleyball. No, we’re quite sure our fat 60 year old would be humiliated.

Water Polo – Sport. Treading water is an underestimated exercise. It’s exhausting. Trust me. Ed Honcho spent his formative years as a lifeguard (what did you expect?), where part of the certification process was to hold a brick over your head and tread water for 1 minute. Go ahead and try it, we’ll wait… no? Pansies. What you’d find is that it’s not the sort of thing a fat 60 year old should be attempting under any circumstances, brick or no. Though, I will admit, it might come in handy during a lifeguard certification class, as you would most certainly be dragging them off the bottom of the pool, maybe putting them on a backboard, and potentially administering a little mouth-to-mouth. Three birds with one stone. I’m surprised they haven’t thought of this one yet. What I’m not surprised about, is that I have.

Waterskiing – Sport. Have you seen some of the things these people do? Yes? Can you imagine a fat 60 year old doing any of them? Yes, but only poorly, and quickly followed by a horrible wipeout? Me too!

Weightlifting – Game. Plenty of fat people excel at weightlifting… remember, fat people can be very strong, whether they be 20, 40, 60 or 80 years old.

Wrestling – Sport/Game. Truly, in wrestling moreso than any other sport, it depends on the discipline. Freestyle or Collegiate wrestling is a sport. Fat 60 year olds would get twisted into pretzels. Greco-Roman wrestling is a game, since it relies almost solely on upper body strength, which a fat 60 year old might have in spades… or, at least enough to fare moderately well. Submission wrestling is a sport, as a fat 60 year old wouldn’t have the speed to contain someone at the top of their game… not to mention someone at an average level of their game. Arm wrestling is a game, which should be patently obvious to anyone but the dullest of minds. Sumo wrestling is a sport, as, though our 60 year old is fat… that gives him no advantages. Instead, it’s about quickness at that size, something that puts our 60 year old at a decided disadvantage. And, of course, professional wrestling is neither a game or a sport, it’s what we like to call “acting” in the business.

So there you have it… I would normally spend the next few hours waxing poetic about my prophetic… ness. But it does appear as if our fat 60 year old is in need of immediate attention. What do eyes rolled back in the head usually mean? Is that bad? Yeah. OK, I gotta go. Spread the word people. Let’s make this stuff fact. Oh, and if you want to send any particularly hateful emails my way, sure, I can take it. Just send it to icanbesurprisinglysensitive@edhoncho.com. Yo.

Eleven days later now and I can finally proclaim myself recovered.  The soreness from my last meet was gone within 4 days, but it took another week for my energy level to return to normal.  That decision to run the 200 meters really knocked me for a loop.

Monday’s run was pretty decent, but today I really made a nice jump in the right direction.  I ran 400 meter intervals today and felt fast and strong.  Two months ago I struggled to finish 6 repeats at 10.5 mph.  Today I ran 8 at 11.5.

I looked up some of my workouts from last year to see how they compare.  The closest thing I could find was some timed runs @ 11.5 mph I did back in January.  I went 2:00 minutes, 2:00 minutes, 1:40 and 1:30 with 2 minute rest intervals.  Today’s eight interval runs were 1:30 each with 2:30 rests, so I’m doing quite a bit more volume but resting more too.   My goal for the 1000 meter run in the pentathlon is to run it at an 11.5 mph pace….that’ll take a little better than 3 minutes, so I still have a long ways to go. 

Santa Barbara was my last masters track meet for 2009, so it’s going to be all about training for the next few months.   I’ve  still got to firm up my goals for 2010 and try to get myself healthy.  This would be much easier if my body would stop trying to rebel and just do what I tell it to do!

Paralympic Games by Kevrekidis

Wheelchair Racing. 

Athens 2004 Paralympic Games, September 17-28, 2004.

Kevrekidis Photography at deviantART

©2004 – 2009 Jordan Kevrekidis

Election day was spent trying to get the house organized. The project continues: our house, like the white house, needs a while to transition to the new regime.

But what hope is there for organization in a world in which the modern pentathlon [is] to become four-event discipline? I guess modern means post-numerate and so, not for the first time, I marvel at what post-modern might mean.

Si nous avons eu droit à la pluie pour visiter notre futur appartement, il en a été autrement de notre dimanche à visiter la cité médiévale de Gruyère.

Nous avons commencé par un pentathlon post-moderne :

1- Course d’autobus : l’épreuve consiste à quitter le logement quelques minutes avant que l’autobus ne passe (Céline gagnant des points de difficulté pour être retournée chercher une gourde d’eau et être arrivée à la course). Il faut ensuite débarquer et se dépêcher d’aller à un autre arrêt pour prendre un autre autobus jusqu’à la gare.

2 – l’achat de billet : épreuve de précision où il faut choisir le bon trajet sur la machine, même s’il n’est pas proposé. Céline a perdu quelques points là-dessus (nous avons dû débourser 0.7 francs à l’autre gare pour être en règle).

3 – Course à relai : discipline fort courue où les athlètes se trompent de rame de train, et doivent chercher quelle est la bonne rame de train alors qu’il ne reste qu’une minute avant le départ

4 – 100 mètre de couloir : sprint dans les couloirs à travers la foule endormie – qui a, elle, plus de 30 secondes pour se rendre à son train

5 – Saut de train : Mixte entre le saut en hauteur et le saut en longueur, il faut réussir à sauter dans un wagon après le sifflet de départ.

Evidemment, notre but n’était pas de rendre hommage à la haute tradition olympique du sport (dont le musée est à Lausanne…), mais plutôt de pouvoir roupillonner un peu plus longtemps…

Comme prix, un superbe parcours dans le train GoldenPass Panoramic, qui se décline dans plusieurs versions (du moche pas si panoramique que nous avons croisé au VIP en bois ancien qu’il faut réserver, comme nous l’avons lu dans la brochure dorée). Nous étions quant à nous dans une version assez intéressante avec beaucoup de fenêtres… et des voisins suisses allemands qui avaient un petit pique-nique avec bouteille de blanc et petites serviettes en papier avec la croix suisse.

Arrivés à Gruyère, nous sommes allés visiter le musée de la fabrication du fromage Gruyère, qui ne vaut le détour que pour observer la cave à fromage avec un super robot type Walle (partie du musée gratuite à tous). L’exposition est un tantinet fade et accompagnée d’une narration particulièrement désagréable. Avouons tout de même que les bancs se prêtent assez bien à feuilleter le catalogue IKEA en espérant avec plus ou moins de succès voir apparaître un employé ajouter en 15sec la presure au lait qui attend de devenir du caillé 40 min plus tard… puis du gruyère encore plus tard (veuillez noter que l’on a quand même appris les étapes de la fabrication du fromage!).

“>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wi9B-IfSts]

Nous sommes ensuite allés visiter la “ville” et le château (pour les férus d’histoire, voir ce lien)

Nous avons dîné dans l’unique artère, ayant le choix entre plusieurs plats qui contenaient tous du gruyère. Ragaillardis sans être trop alourdis, nous avons bien profité de la visite du château qui a conservé plusieurs objets d’époque.

Avant de repartir, nous avons aussi eu droit à un spectacle de cor des Alpes, instrument que nous avions déjà entendu dans la cathédrale (avec un petit vidéo pour entendre la sonorité).

“>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbH2URaXnBg]

As you can see above, these are the official final full scores with ranking for the top ten in the women modern pentathlon competition held yesterday in Beijing. Aya ranked eighth unfortunately.

What I want to say to her that I personally feel that she did her best to well represent herself and her country and I think her results are satisfactory considering the bright future she can have if she kept on with the same enthusiasm, persistence and competence. Aya: you are still young and this participation surely added a lot to you experiences. You have to learn from your mistakes and work on the weakness. If you do so, I am sure yu can CHANGE the current ranking and a medal for your in London 2012 can be guaranteed.

Just keep on Aya and hard luck for this time, we are all behind you.

Tarek

Today is the pentathlon competition for women that I have been waiting for for long time. Aya Medany and Omnia Fakhry are there. Uptill now, 4 of the 5 compositions are done. Aya did well in the first three but missed in the fourth, Riding Show Jumping. Now it’s her final chance if she wants to get one of the medals. She is ranked 8 when the Women’s Running 3000m competition will start after a while.

Wish you all the best AYA…. RUN to your medal.

Tarek

Olympic Flame Cauldron

Olympic flame cauldron

Olympic flame cauldron

Olympic flame cauldron

Olympic flame cauldron at the Olympic Stadium in Athens, Greece, August 2004.
The 2004 Summer Olympic Games, officially known as the Games of the XXVIII Olympiad, were celebrated in Athens, Greece, in August, 2004.
11,099 athletes competed, accompanied by 5,501 team officials from 201 countries.
The lighting ceremony of the Olympic Flame took place in Ancient Olympia. For the first time ever, the flame travelled around the world in a relay to former Olympic cities and other large cities, before returning to Greece.

More images from the Olympics at:

Kevrekidis Photograpgy at deviantART

©2004-2008 Jordan Kevrekidis

The team held an exhibition meet on June 13 in New York City at which Thorpe and Tewanima stood out. The diminutive Hopi outran the country’s two best middle-distance men in the 3,500 meters and Jim Thorpe outjumped the world record holder in the high jump by clearing 6’5”. After the event was over, the record holder also cleared 6’5”. The 1912 U.S. Olympic team set sail for Stockholm on a Red Star liner, The Finland, arriving on June 30 to a hearty reception.

In the first day’s events, Jim Thorpe won the pentathlon (Avery Brundage tied for third) and qualified for the high jump finals. Lt. George S. Patton finished 5^th in the Modern Pentathlon, an entirely different event designed specifically for military officers. Lewis Tewanima qualified for the finals of the 1,500 meter run. Later that day he placed second and won the silver medal. Tewanima was also entered in the marathon.

Andrew Sockalexis described the conditions for the marathon as, “…the worst I ever saw. The roads were very poor. A thick mud, the color of cement, covered them, and out of this protruded small sized rocks, which made the running anything but comfortable….The morning was cool enough, but how the sun did come out getting near noontime. I think the temperature was between 90 and 95 degreees.” He went on to say that he had never found it so warm in America.

The conditions may have affected the little Hopi as he finished a disappointing 16^th. Andrew Sockalexis finished 4^th but later kicked himself for losing the race for “failing to use my head at the proper time cost me first place in the great race.” His mistake came at the halfway point of the race when he observed that the two leaders, South Africans McArthur and Gitsham, were clinging tight to each other and that McArthur was frothing at the mouth. Sockalexis planned on starting his spurt when McArthur dropped out of the race. He never did and won the race in record time.

Jim Thorpe did not medal in the high jump due to failing to clear the bar when raised to 189 centimeters, a height he had cleared earlier in the year.  He finished tied for 4^th in an event in which six of the top seven finishers were American.

In the decathlon, Jim placed 3^rd in the 100-meter dash at 11.2 seconds, 3^rd in the broad jump at 6.79 meters, 1^st in the shotput at 12.89 meters, 1^st in the high jump at 1.87 meters, 4^th in the 400-meter dash at 52.2 seconds, 3^rd in the discus throw at 36.98 meters, 1^st in the 110-meter hurdles at 15.6 seconds, tied for 3^rd in the pole vault at 3.25 meters, 4^th in the javelin throw at 45.70 meters, and 1^st in the 1500-meter run at 4minutes, 40.1 seconds. Avery Brundage finished 16^th.

Thorpe’s 1912 Olympic performance is the stuff of legends, even at the time. At the medal ceremony, King Gustav V said, “You, sir, are the greatest athlete in the world.” To which Thorpe famously replied, “Thanks, King.”

Jim Thorpe receiving Olympic gold medal from King Gustav V of Sweden

I found a facebook page for AYA, here it is:

http://www.new.facebook.com/pages/AYA-MEDANY/24806265154

Please support her next August 22 on Modern Pentathlon at the Olympic Games in Beijing.

Go AYA go,

Tarek

Belguim's only Olympic gold medalist

During the 2008 indoor track & field season, Tia Hellebaut returned her focus to multi-events and became world champion of pentathlon at the World Indoor Championships in Valencia, where she set a record for the best high jump result in a women’s multi-event competition, clearing 1.99 m. (6.53 feet).

At the 2008 summer Olympics, held in Beijing, Hellebaut reached her pinnacle by winning the gold medal in the high jump, ahead of the favorite, Blanca Vlasic of Croatia, with a new outdoor personal best of 2.05 m. (6.73 feet).

 Her achievement represented the first-ever athletics gold medal in the Olympics for a Belgian, and only the second of any color, one day after Belgium won their first (silver) medal in the 4×100m relay.

On 5 December 2008, Hellebaut announced her pregnancy and her retirement from professional athletics. On June 9, 2009, Hellebaut gave birth to a daughter named Lotte.

After her professional track & field career, Hellebaut started working for a sports marketing company.

Belguim's Tia Hellebaut wins Olympic gold in the high jump