To Find – CERATO, WATER VIOLET, and SWEET CHESTNUT

Before and while seeing the place – SWEET CHESTNUT, WATER VIOLET, GENTIAN, HOLLY, and MUSTARD, (encumbrance Free): Civil Engineers not to miss.

While negotiating – SWEET CHESTNUT, WATER VIOLET, CHICORY (for bargaining) and AGRIMONY (right priced).

Document verification – SWEET CHESTNUT and WATER VIOLET (advocate) for people who do special work to whom people approach for consultation

Loan application, Arranging for Money – WATER VIOLET, ROCK WATER, WILLOW, PINE, GORSE

Before settling down or shifting to the property, spray the remedies – MUSTARD, ASPEN, WHITE CHESTNUT, WALNUT, CRAB APPLE, and RESCUE REMEDY.

Selling

Chant the switch words, “FIND DIVINE BUYER GIVE COUNT NOW DONE”

RELEASE RESISTANCE and RELEASE YOUR FEARS CDs – Listen to them daily

Take AGRIMONY, CENTAURY, SCLERANTHUS, WALNUT, GENTIAN, and HORNBEAM (Night)

Thank the House/ Land, get permission from the House/Land and thank anybody who comes to see the property.

Before getting the Advance – WATER VIOLET, HOLLY, HORNBEAM, and HONEY SUCKLE

I occasionally have these random thoughts. Rather than letting them die a lonely death, I decided to write them down until I had enough of them to post here. These are the ideas that I thought, “Gee, I should post a blog about that,” but then realize it’s either too stupid or short (or both) to create an entire blog posting for, so I save them in Evernote (I love that app!) until I have enough of them saved to torture you with them. So, as you read, you may be thinking, “Perhaps some of them should have died that lonely death….“

This is my third installment of “Random Thoughts.” So enjoy… or not.

It’s All About Poop

It’s been a very long time since I last owned a dog, let alone two. Things sure have changed since I was a child, and now, owning a dog (or two or ten) is all about watching them poop! I don’t remember doing anything about poop when I was growing up – except for cleaning it up in the yard every day. I guess my parents took care of everything else, or else we were just lucky (or times were different then, and as long as the dog was still breathing, everything was fine).

But now, there’s shots, and nearly weekly and monthly appointments with the vet; you can buy pet medical insurance (if you want to get ripped off, that is), and they even have doggie spas where you can take your Fido for a doggie massage or doggie acupuncture! But the one thing that I’ve realized over the past couple of months is so much more primal: I’m watching them poop so I can make sure it looks healthy. And speaking with other dog owners, they seem to agree that this is the norm! You eventually get to know the shape and color of your dog’s gifts and can even recognize it in a lineup.

Email: The Great Giver of Humility

You’d think in this day and age of email, that we’ve gotten used to the idea of sending off a quick note with spelling errors. It humbles us when we shoot out that quick note, relying on spellcheck and autocorrect, not taking the extra second to double-check and proof-read what we’ve typed. Either that, or we just don’t care because we’ve banged out the note on our smartphone with keys so close together it’s nearly impossible to get it right.

But even in the times when we do happen to double-check and proof-read the note, very rarely do we even look at the addresses to make sure the email is going to the right person. We rely heavily on auto-fill by typing just the person’s first name, knowing the program will get the right contact.

This was apparently going on at work for months without my knowing. Imagine the humility I found when I got a call from a vendor the other day, letting me know that for the past month, she was getting emails from me letting her know when I’ve stepped out for lunch, when I was going to check on the doglettes, or that I was going into my hiding space for an hour. Who knew there were more than one Gertrude in my address book?

Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Have To

People haven’t mastered the concept that just because they have the ability or the right to do something, doesn’t mean they absolutely must do it. Yet here we are, in the fine State of Delaware, or the fine Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, where one can turn right at a red light after stopping. Generally, the whole “stopping” thing is to make sure there are no other cars coming. When the way is clear, then the driver may proceed to turn right onto the street. This is how it’s supposed to work, but the reality I always see (and especially when I’m the one with the green light) is people who make a quick stop (or even none at all), and, without even looking, continue into their turn to create all sorts of havoc: people (me) slamming on their breaks, people (me) cussing at the driver, people (me) telling them with sign language (well, maybe just with one finger) that they’ve inappropriately cut me off…

The ability to not do something – even though you have the ability (or inalienable right) to do so – is an exercise in restraint. And Lord knows we all need some exercise!

Surprises in My Pocket

It seems like ever since we got doglettes, everything around my life is centered around them – that’s not a complaint, its just an observation – and I often find myself wondering if others’ lives have turned inside out arund their dogs (or cats).

For instance, I’ve been noticing that every one of my coats, jackets, and sweaters (with pockets) have doglette treats in one pocket, and “gift” bags in the other. This way I’ll never be caught without, in case of an emergency (Well, one would think! There have been those times, though, where I’ve run out and didn’t have time to refill the pockets. Ghost finished her little “good girl” job, scratched the ground with all four feet, did her little happy dance, then looked up expectantly at me waiting for the treat she knows she gets every time she does a “good job,” cocking her head to the side looking at me because I’m fumbling in my pocket and coming out with nothing but promises that I’ll give her a cookie when we get inside…)

Conversely, there are the other times when I have plenty in my pocket when Hubby does something really nice. I’ll pull out a treat, hold it up to him, and say, “Want a cookie?”

I could finish the blog just here, because YOU are the only person who allows YOU to be happy, no one else.

YOU are the only one who decides to laugh at a joke, smile at an event, or to enjoy the moment.  YOU are the one who determines your thoughts and feeling.

I noticed the other day, that I let the ANTs get in (Anti-Negative-Thoughts), and I was very annoyed at myself for allowing them to get into my being.  I then challenged the moment that I was in and asked myself, why was I allowing these ANTs to even exist?  (It was an interested conversation I had with myself as I was walking down the street!!)  There was no substantial reason, except that one or two small things did not go my way…and so the ANTs saw an opening and they rushed in!  By acknowledging the situation and challenging and stamping on the ANTs, they went away.

I gave myself permission to destroy the ANTs and be happy.

If you are letting the ANTs in, shut the gap and STAMP on them, exterminate them.  ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY.

Cheers, Andrea

Want to know more about me, drop over to my website www.stayingfocusedcoaching.com.au

In cases where an abortion is necessary because the mother’s life or physical or mental health is in danger, this will have to be accredited by doctors in writing and approval given.

Justice minister Alberto Ruiz-Gallardón says terminating a pregnancy because the baby would be born handicapped goes against the convictions of the United Nations and that live is not a discretionary concession, but an unalienable right which is “not reduced due to disability”, and that life should not attract a lower level of protection due to physical or mental handicap or deformity.

The law will also prevent girls under the age of 18 from having abortions without permission from their parents.

Effectively, the only grounds for abortion are where the mother’s life is in real danger or she could suffer permanent and serious health problems if she goes ahead with the pregnancy.

…
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Just for today…be you…fully and freely. The only permission required comes from you. Dare to shine. By honouring and being your true Self you will light up your world—and those in it. We owe it to ourselves and each other.

Day 17: Do you have an eating disorder?

I suppose this challenge is as much about reflection and self awareness as it is about weight-loss. When we understand our habits we are better able to change them. If we understand our self-sabotages and destructive behaviour we are better armed to make the tough decision to change our pattern of behaviour. I wouldn’t say that I have an eating disorder. I do, however, have other problems (I would never say that they are ‘disorders’) that can manifest in the way I eat.

I’ve struggled, fought, overcome, won and lost in the battle with depression and anxiety for over half my life. Sometimes this means I over-eat, sometimes it means I can’t eat. By looking at my eating habits I can recognise where my mind is and it can keep me in check to redress any impending inbalences and negative thought processes.

You’ve probably all heard the jibe about the bulimic who doesn’t throw up… I was that child. I don’t know where I got the idea but I somehow got it into my head that, after eating all the biscuits in the house, if I was sick it would make me feel better. I drank salt-water; it didn’t work. I put my fingers down my throat; it didn’t work. I tried using a toothbrush to make me gag; you guessed it, it didn’t work. So instead, I’d just over-eat and leave it at that. To some extent I still do over-eat. But now I am better armed to understand why I want to and I am able to control it.

If someone has a broken bone you wouldn’t tell them to ‘get over it’ and that the pain isn’t real. You’d give them painkillers and time to heal. In the same way, there are times where I allow myself a wallow and a tub of icecream. It’s a weird trick I play on my mind, but by giving myself permission to eat a whole tub of ice-cream I am less likely to then eat everything else in reach. By allowing the indulgence I am breaking the perpetual cycle of: binge, feel bad about bingeing, binge to feel better about feeling bad about having binged.

We are human, we feel bad sometimes, we are allowed to recognise this bad feeling and do something about it. Sometimes that thing is ice-cream, but in more recently it is a run and a slice of recovery cake.

There is something inside each one of us that was meant to be shared.  Whether it is discovered while you thought no one was looking, or presented in a way that just can’t be ignored, it needs to flow out.  But, what if the very thing that is shared is not looked on as favorable.  What if the thing you have been working on so hard and can’t wait to share with someone is laid flat on its back?  What if the light inside you is dimmed by the very sharing of it? What if?

What if it’s not?

It could be something someone has needed to hear for awhile to help them move on or up. It could be a similar story that someone thought they were all alone in, before they heard yours.  And as you begin to share, it kind of gives other people permission to share their stories. It’s almost contagious.  Unstoppable.

Don’t forget to build people up.  And if they need a little nudge to get going, do it kindly and consistently.  Yea, we can keep it to ourselves so that we keep the peace. But if there is no current peace then we might just need to make some peace. Look around you. People are hurting and remaining silent about it. That is the wrong kind of contagious. We need to cure that right now and keep treating it over and over again.

It’s hard when you’re not sure. It’s scary when you don’t know. But, seriously, you’re in good company. Save the self proclaimed “know-it-alls,” everyone else knows they don’t know it all whether they admit it or not. So, be the contagion that just can’t help itself but infect others with good news, kind words, patient silence, a helping hand. And if you make a mistake, well, don’t we all every now and then.

Let’s watch that spread, out of control, to the ends of the earth, giving others permission to do the same.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne  Williamson

On the weekend I went with my girlfriend to the beach.

My mother let it.

It was amazing. My mother never let me do these things. I had great fun, even missing my mom.

We made sand castles and swim in the icy water from there and we had lots of ice cream sticks. [Too bad] there is an end and we had to return.

Really too bad, because I came to this other place after the accident that happened on the road.

My friend’s mother too.

I’ll always remember you, mom! Even without breathing.

And you, you keep breathing.

My friend remained there and you can take care of each other.

One of the local newspapers recently published an article titled: “Can’t someone stop this photocopying madness?”, which raises the alarm over high levels of illegal photocopying especially in tertiary institutions of learning, namely our universities. The writer explains:

We were taught in classes that photocopying a book without the requisite permission of the copyright holder would be against the law, except for the very strict exemptions made on the copyright page of the book. Yet at student centres and other photocopying areas in institutions of higher learning, the exact opposite of this lesson goes on in the open.
Students photocopy entire books. Some shop owners photocopy books in advance and store them for sale. With such scenarios, what does the student learn? That the lessons on copyright law are a mere hot air?

Recently, a news feature was published by Al Jazeera titled: “Photocopying courts India campus controversy” which was premised on the on-going Indian High Court case of Oxford University Press and Others vs Rameshwari Photocopy Services and Delhi University. In this case, Cambridge University Press (CUP), Oxford University Press (OUP) and Taylor & Francis, the three of the world’s largest publishers have filed a case in court seeking to stop the reproductions of their work into study packs and course packs for students.

Authors and publishers all over the world contend that they fully support free access to information. But they have come to realise that their contended principle of free flow of information must not be confused with the idea of the flow of free information. After all, books, journals, newspapers etc. cost money to produce and the same must apply to the right to reproduce them, particularly through photocopying. The only way authors and publishers have been able to deal with this situation has been through collective administration of rights. It is widely agreed that no single author or publisher can effectively police the use or abuse of its bundle of rights throughout a whole national territory let alone the world at large. Thus, collective administration is a solution devised to overcome the many difficulties which individuals authors and other rights holders face in the enforcement of their rights separately by themselves in the face of fast-growing technologies of the modern world.

Read the rest of this article over at the CIPIT Law Blog here.

This is the second time Sandip Chudha has had to pay out for disobeying the same enforcement notice regarding his house in College Avenue. Despite the planning enforcement notice first being issued in 2008 and Chudha being given numerous opportunities to comply without court action, he continued to ignore council letters delivered to his address and several others linked to him.

He was first prosecuted in February 2012 after, without planning permission, Chudha added a rear extension with a balcony, raised the boundary wall and constructed an additional building in the back garden. On this occasion Medway Magistrates fined him £1000 and costs of £600 in his absence. He had made previous efforts to comply with the enforcement notice as he returned the property to a single household after having converted it into two flats. However the extension, boundary wall and additional building remained, which consequently resulted in court action.

These changes are thought to adversely affect the amenity of the area and adjoining occupiers. For continued failure to comply with a planning enforcement notice, which required him return the property to its previous state and demolish the new building in the garden, the 34-year-old was fined £3000, charged £2626.71 costs as well as a £15 victim surcharge when he appeared at Medway Magistrates’ Court on 2 April. He told the court that the management of the property had been left to his father and that he knew nothing about it until bailiffs arrived to collect unpaid fines. The court heard however that Medway Council had been in frequent contact with Chudha’s father about the situation.

Medway Council’s Portfolio Holder for Strategic Development and Economic Growth, Jane Chitty said: “This case shows that enforcement notices are not simply forgotten after the first conviction. “This man could have avoided court by taking action when he first received council correspondence. “Everyone is subject to planning law and it is a wise move to contact our planning department when making changes to a property.”

I borrow the picture and title for this blog for a specific purpose.  Please, when you have  a chance, head over to Evan Sanders’ blog The Better Man Projects and read this post.

Evan, I discovered* early this year, has been doing something similar to my goal with this blog – blogging about his journey to be a better man.  Except he started last year.  And he is far more eloquent with his words than I am.  And he has bigger plans.

Part of his plan was to publish a book, which he accomplished this past spring.  He is a published author, embarked on a career change, and seemingly was on top of the world. Yet, while we who follow along were thinking he has it all together, Evan was going through a much darker time in his own mind.

I want to share his post from the other day because it speaks so clearly to all of us.  We all battle our own inner-voice that tells us that we are not successful.  Too often we measure ourselves against where it is that we want to be, instead of measuring how far we’ve come.  This voice of doubt can come creeping in and steal away everything we have worked for, leaving us even more lost and hopeless.

Even in those moments of darkest despair, however, there is always hope.  I don’t want to paraphrase Evan’s insights, so I will simply encourage you to read his post.

“No matter how dark things become, there is always light. You can miss it if you aren’t looking for it.”
-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Projects

*It is more appropriate to say that Evan discovered my blog.  He liked my blog shortly after I went live, no doubt suggested to him via WordPress based on similar titles.  I saw his “like” and checked his out and was -and still am- in awe of how much he accomplished last year. 

 As always: This is simply my journal as I try to better myself. I hope it inspires you to focus on yourself. Make 2013 YOUR year.
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]]> http://jillianrunkle.wordpress.com/2013/04/14/as-we-let-our/ Sun, 14 Apr 2013 06:11:03 +0000 jillthejeweler http://jillianrunkle.wordpress.com/2013/04/14/as-we-let-our/

“ As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
― Nelson Mandela

http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/367338.Nelson_Mandela

At dinner we started talking about our Skype date with my mother; he has to formally ask for permission from her to marry me. He then told me that he doesn’t feel like he is ready to ask her yet. He wasn’t prepared enough and was wondering if we can do it next week. I have been so excited for this that I told my closest friends about the Skype date. So, against my better judgement, I started crying.

The disappointment was immense. I was excited to get engaged, but wasn’t he ready? What did I do wrong? At this, he got emotional too. So we were sitting in the restaurant, silently staring at the table, and tears slowly rolling down our cheeks.

I got the courage to explain why I was crying, and to my relief, we misunderstood each other. When I was explaining to him how to talk to my mom I suggested that he write it down because when he gets nervous his English gets a little…uhmmm…uncomfortable too. He thought I meant he had to write a 3 page letter to my mother with our 1 year, 5 year and 10 year plans laid out. All because I said ‘put it in writing’. I thought I was helping him, but he thought I was putting more pressure on him.

Long story short, we realized our misunderstanding, laughed about it, got some coffee and a sweet treat and went home.

We skyped my mom on Saturday night, and she gave us our blessing. We went Facebook official with the news and have had overwhelming support from people.

Now the task awaits us (me) to plan a wedding on a different continent. But it is extremely exciting. ( I have used exciting a lot, haven’t I?!)

We don’t have an official ring yet, because we will use my grandmother’s wedding ring and add some diamonds to it. It is getting made in South Africa. When we go there in September he will do the official proposal and presenting of the ring. I guess we are doing things a little backwards, but it works for us.

There isn’t really a formula for love, is there?

Whisk.
The world moves without our permission.
I’m a far cry from well put together.
Whisk.
I see damage far from simple scars.
Redemption is hard to find.
But, key to closure.
Whisk.
Class systems dictate financial success.
But, doesn’t account for short commings.

-

You can read more of David’s simple, yet moving poetry, on his blog.

I just finished 100 Days 100 Breaths, and now I’m just nine people short of 100 folks on my One and Only List. Will you help me get there?

More than reaching 100 (which would be cool), I want you to on the One & Only List because I know the free workbook Permission Granted: Move Into Change with Your Own Approval can help jump-start changes that will make your life more joyful, free and balanced. There are simple exercises in it that may help you think in new ways about old stuff. I worked hard on it, and it’s good.

I want you to have access to tips and tools for self coaching that you won’t find on the blog, and advanced notice about classes or workshops before I announce to everyone else.   This is my way of making more of what I know available to you. It may not be the time for one- on-one coaching for you, or you may not even want it. If you’re perfectly happy hanging here on the blog, it’s all good.

So what else might come my way in groups of 100? Please not Dalmatians. JOIN HERE

Please share with your friends, thanks.

Today I’m going to go over the current waiting periods for different types of mortgage loans out there for people who may have had either a foreclosure, shortsale / deed in lieu, or  bankruptcy in this recent recessionary period. Hopefully this will help you if you’ve been thinking about buying a home in this recovering real estate market, but don’t know when you would be eligible to buy again after your unfortunate financial event. Take a look, and let me know if your situation is a little more detailed or complicated:

CONVENTIONAL FINANCING

BANKRUPTCY – Chapter 7:

4 years waiting period – may be able to wait only 2 years with extenuating circumstances(note: due to the recession many people had “extenuating circumstances” like being laid off from their jobs. Unfortunately the issue would need to be even more serious than that, like death in the family, very serious illness, etc. they are all case by case)

                             – Chapter 13: 2 years waiting period from time of discharge or 4 years wait from time of dismissal.

SHORTSALE / DEED IN LIEU: 2 years wait with 20% down payment; 4 year wait with 10% down payment; 7 year wait on standard guidelines

FORECLOSURE: 7 years elapsed from date of trustee sale – may allow 3 years if extenuating circumstances can be documented / approved along with other restrictions.

FHA FINANCING

BANKRUPTCY: Chapter 7 – must wait  2 years

                               Chapter 13 – 1 year waiting period with on time payments and permission by court or trustee.

FORECLOSURE / DEED IN LIEU: 3 years waiting period  – may allow sooner with extenuating circumstances.

SHORTSALE:   3 year waiting period

            VA FINANCING

BANKRUPTCY(Chapter 7 or 13): 2 years from discharge

SHORTSALE  / DEED IN LIEU: 2 year waiting period

FORECLOSURE: 2 years elapsed from time of event.

If you’re not sure of the exact time of the event that happened to you, give me a call so that I can help. I should be able to help you find the answer. Call me at 951.488.3118 or email me at bsapp@wccloans.com to get your questions answered.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

I suppose this is where G dominates me, and has since the very beginning. It’s all in the head. He might not know, but I would, and that guilt would settle in my stomach like bad milk. It is not yet a need (will it ever really become that?), but the intense want to obey his instructions has bound me. I want to be good, to be able to honestly say that I followed through with his tasks, his requests, and I am better for it.

That made me think about permission in general. What do we gain out of asking for permission? May I touch myself, may I do this, may I do that. For him, it might be the actual sense of power. There is a physical translation of the power exchange: I am asking him to grant me the permission to do something I would have otherwise done on my own, maybe in secret. He also then knows exactly when I do a certain thing and can dictate to me whether or not I am allowed to do it, or how (I’ve only asked him if I could touch myself once and he yes said, on my knees). But for me? What do I gain?

I thought about this for a while. I knew my heart raced when he asked me to ask for his permission and that I, without batting an eyelash, accepted. I knew that I wanted to give him that right. When I considered why, what I was gaining or learning from doing so, it slowly became clear to me. Power exchange. There is an exchange. I feel that rush, that thrill at the same time he does. I give and he takes. He leads and I follow. It’s a delicious dance, and asking for permission is but a tangible form. I keep myself accountable because that is a part of my submission. It isn’t about being defiant or only following directions when I know there will be consequences if I don’t. It’s about knowing that he trusts I will obey because I want to, because I feel compelled to. It’s about facing the challenge of resisting temptation to slip my hands beneath the covers and tease myself in all the ways that I want him to.

It is an interesting tango that permission has introduced to this dynamic.