In years: 3 years and 10 months

In months: 46 months

In weeks: 184 weeks

In days: 1, 288 days

In hours: 30, 912 hours

In minutes: 927, 360 minutes

In seconds: 55, 641, 600 seconds.

Imagine the numbers. Imagine the time. Imagine anything you want. Because for me I only imagine one thing after I have counted all the numbers above. Imagine me being with you. I only imagine a lifetime.

It would take a lot of sweet talks, unsolved problems, thoughtful seasons, misunderstandings and more to make a relationship lasts this long.

I am no expert when it comes to these things. But for me, one thing matter: TRUST. It will only take trust to move your relationship this far.

I LOVE HIM BECAUSE…

• He makes sure I eat on time

This is the first food he has given me. A chocolate filled snack given to me when he was courting me.

• He loves to make me smile 
  

He knows I love teddy bears. Anyways, he usually gives me bears when there is a special occasion. These are our babies namely: Kathleen (the big one), Luffy (the brown one) and Carlson (the panda).

• He let me feel his love through his love letters

I love writing love letters. And so his case. I believe I can feel him more through his letters because every words he say, I knew it by heart.

• He supports my interest

He knows I love reading books. That’s why sometimes he kept me spoiled by buying me one. But I love him more than these books, really.

• He gives me time
  

What I really love about him is that he makes sure he gives me his precious time. Time to tell me stories, to laugh, cry because of happiness, tease and many more. I love everytime he makes me feel that I am his princess and his only one. I love him because he is my one and only.

• MOST OF ALL, He loves me unconditionally
  

He loves me and I can feel it everyday, every second, every minute, every hour. He loves me so much that I know he will do anything for me. He protects me and cares me to the extent. I love him for that.

TO you my one and only, thank you for everything. Thank you for making me special. I love everything about you. I love your smile, your eyes and your love. Thank you and I am sure that everyday with you is a new experience that will make me even more smile. Happy 46th monthsary! I love you from here to the moon and back again.

Story By R. Alisha Hill  ~ Featuring Melissa Cobb

Have you ever had an encounter with God? Have you encountered His presence lately?  Have you made yourself available to meet with Him?  Moses and the burning bush is one of the most well- known stories of someone having an encounter with God.  Moses’ experience is truly a “fire encounter”.   Although Moses had his own plan for his life to live in the desert as a sheep herder, God had a specific plan for Moses’ life.  As the story goes, God won the argument with Moses and directed Moses into a place of leadership for the nation of Israel. God always knew where Moses was. In God’s time He lit a bush and called Moses by name!

Does God know where you are?  Absolutely!  He may be using First Lady Ilka’s Fire Encounters to set up a meeting just for you to have a conversation with him about His plan for your life.  Think about it: God planned on meeting with Moses, Jacob, Adam, Eve, and the list goes on. He also plans on meeting with you! 

Need more proof? Meet Melissa Cobb, a woman responding to God in faith in order to carry out the plan He has for her life. In fact, here is Melissa’s personal experience with God after a Fire Encounter at LCC.

Ladies, go with me for a moment. I was 14 and I had waited all week. Would my dad let me stay overnight at my best friend’s house after the game? I had been asking but I stopped and waited. As I put on my band gear and prepared to leave for the game, he answered. I could stay through Sunday! I was ecstatic! I had finally received the answer I was awaiting from my dad. That was a good day!

And that is the feeling The Encounter sparked in me on April 26^th at Life Changes Church. My Father had finally answered my prayer! I felt like that girl in limbo as I awaited direction from daddy. Would God allow me to move forward? Would my current state be my final state?

During The Encounter, God spoke. In that moment, I realized that God is always thinking of us. He is always waiting to answer us. We just have to be open and ready to hear.  I thank Him for speaking to me through his prophet, First Lady Ilka. God spoke so clearly, so specifically and so definitively to me that night. God confirmed that I would fulfill my destiny in Him, teaching and reaching people near and far.

Do you need something from God? Stop wringing your hands with concern that He has forgotten His promises to you. He has not! Get in a quiet place to talk with Him.  Go on… He’s waiting there for you.

Keep in mind that all of our encounters with God are designed for a specific reason.  He is present in church and present in our life for a reason, and we must hang on to Him until He reveals what the reason! As the saying goes, “He may not come when you want him, but he will be there right on time”! Just know His encounters are usually unexpected, not because we have been asking, but when we need Him!  So don’t let the encounter take place without making the most of it!  When you feel the burning of God’s presence, allow yourself to hear the answers to these questions: What does He want to say to me?  What does He want me to do?  Then, be willing to obey and be blessed.

Dear Readers,

I profusely apologize for my month long absence. What with finals and travel I was lacking blogging time. Having just returned from a year in the U.K., I would like to devote this post to the affect of cultural nationality in writing.  The Anthology A World Of Difference along with my year long expat experience has made me realize the enormous influence one’s nationality has on the art they produce.

A World of Difference is an Anthology of short stories that focuses on cultural encounters and differences. Writers featured hail from South Africa to Kentucky, from Cuba to Cork. The diversity of the geographical locations and cultures is echoed in the writing of each. After leaving my homeland for a year, the reason behind this variety has become obvious.  I had to leave America to realize how deep that part of my identity was ingrained.

As individuals, our identities are incredibly complex. Our gender, political affiliation, sexual orientation, religion, socioeconomic background, interests, and heritage all play a role in defining our place in society. A rich gay Swedish democratic atheist male interested in fashion living in New York has very little in common with a poor straight Irish Catholic female interested in shooting living in Arkansas, and yet both of these individuals have been brought up in the same nation that is at one divided and united. They have been raised with American values and though they may seem to share little, that national identity is much more powerful than one realizes.

I wouldn’t say I was especially patriotic before I left. Yes, I worshiped at the alter of the great Bruce Springsteen, I voteed, I rooted for the US in the Olympics, and relished the story of the Revolutionary War, yet I didn’t get teary during the pledge of allegiance, I didn’t read the US news everyday, and I toyed with the idea of leaving the US for a period longer than a year. That was until I lived abroad this year. Don’t get me wrong; I adored my time at St. Andrews. I met some of the best friends I will every make, but my time apart from America made me appreciate all of the wonderful things about our nation that I took for granted. America is the nation I grew up in, the one in which I formed my values, and whether I realized it or not, my nationality was a huge part of my identity.

The same is true for other nations. Each culture has it’s own valuable, flavor that is inimitable anywhere else. Your home nation is always a part of you no matter how far you go from it. That was obvious in A World of Difference. Each writer as an individual was clearly defined by his or her home nation. And so readers, think about your national identity. How does it define you and your art? I assure you, it does.

xx,

Critiqueen

I have realized that just today when I met some friends of mine. One of them was my best friend back when I lived in the workers district, Berlin- Wedding (which has nothing to do with the English word ´wedding´ it is just a name). I have not seen her for like six or seven years now just because our paths split at some point and I started to travel a bit. Last year, however I accidentally found her again on Facebook and here we were today, seeing each other after so many years.

There was another thing though, that  made me sit down and think about the topic of this post. With that friend came another girl that used to be in elementary school with me and later attended the same college prep as I did. The funny thing is that when I became friends with the girl I recently found again, the other one did not know anything about her. The two of them live in different parts of the town and went to different schools. Today I found out that they did end up at the same school a few years ago and now my dear friend is friends with another friend of mine just by pure coincidence.

I had a similar experience with another friend of mine with whom I lost contact for a long time. I had no idea what had become of her for years, when all of a sudden, on a summer day in 2009, I saw her on the platform in the underground when I was on my way back home and from that day on we were friends again just like we were years ago.

So after all, the world is a very small thing and we may run into somebody we know just at any minute, no matter how big the city is that we live in. One day our paths will cross. I am sure.

When I was a kid, I and my sisters always went to my grandparents’s house  every school holidays. They are living in out of Jakarta, Indonesia which is Malang, East Java, Indonesia. So, we always took the train to go there.

The train always brings me to my childhood memory. I could feel the joy and happiness at that moment.

As I grow old, the train gives me another lesson that is about how to move forward in our life. The train always stops in every station, welcome the new passengers and drop off the previous ones.

That’s exactly how we should do in our life. Ready to accept the changes. Welcome every new chapter of our life journey and take a lesson from our previous experiences.

It is like Paulo Coelho said “Our life is a constant journey, from birth to death. The landscape changes, the people change, our needs change, but the train keeps moving. Life is the train, not the station.”

I pull on the canvas shoulder strap of my backpack and stroll toward my next class.  In the sea of people, I scan for familiar faces and call out to those I know.  Almost mechanically, I maneuver my way through the hallway that, in the old building, reminded me of a sardine can.  Always packed to the brim, it was a daily obstacle course just to get to class on time.  But, after practicing for nearly three years, I seem to have almost mastered the art.  It also helps that the new school hallways are about twice as wide as the old ones.

Suddenly, the crowd breaks and a small sophomore darts through carrying a backpack that must weigh as much as he does, if not more.  I glance around and find myself unintentionally categorizing faces…sophomore, senior, junior.  I stop myself and ask the question:  What sets the class of 2013 apart from the rest?

The class of 2013 may have had the most challenging high school experience.  Not only because of our coursework, college and scholarship applications, and looming AP tests, but the challenge of being involved in many activities, while enduring the construction of the new school, before having our senior year split between two different buildings.  But as Arnold Palmer said, “The most rewarding things in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.”

Despite unavoidable setbacks, such as sharing a home field for football games with another school, swimming in Granite High School’s pool, and moving school productions up to accommodate construction, the seniors strove to take these challenges in stride.  With each step, we changed these setbacks into successes and we’re thankful for our opportunities to be involved.

To any other class of students, the challenges may have looked “like they [couldn’t] be done.”  But we accepted these daunting tasks.  Without these activities, we would not build the friendships and outstanding characters you see today.  For some, if not most of us, this was our final year to perform or play our designated sport.

We all realize we are set on a course.  We want to achieve in school and get good grades.  We grow up, but we enjoy spending time with our friends and bringing out our inner child.  Yes, in the end our grades and test scores matter, but high school cannot be measured solely by a test score or grade point average.  It is measured in the character we build and the relationships we develop and ultimately the person we become.  And unlike plays, sports, and school, character building does not follow a set game plan or script.

The challenges seem “like they cannot be done.”  But, making lasting friendships, grounding our values and becoming the person we want to be, these are the most rewarding things.  That is what Olympus High School has done for us.  We rose to the challenges and we conquered them.  We will reap the benefits for years to come and never forget the character we have built and the friends we made at Olympus High School.  For the “most rewarding things in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.”  Good luck Titan class of 2013.  You will do the impossible.

I’ve spoken a lot about changing your reality, but so far, I’ve not really provided any examples.

So let me share with you my own experiences.

I’ve previously spoken about my dark night of the soul period, which was a very hard and traumatic period of time. This occurred back in 1994, and it was the breaking of old belief systems and the embracing of a new one.

And with the embracing of a new belief system, you would think that everything from then on in would go smoothly.

Not the case.

In fact, all that changed was my spiritual belief system.

However, this did not affect my real life  belief system of my physical world.

On that level, nothing actually changed.

Yes, I was trusting my intuition now, and I was following a path that I was meant to be on, but my belief system of how people treated me and the outcomes had not changed.

There was no reason for it to as all I had done was experience the cycle of rejection time and time again, and deep down, I was convinced that nothing would change.

And so it didn’t. In fact, it was only a few months later, in 1995, where things fell apart, yet again, (and as usual over a lady I was attracted to!) that I had decided I had had enough.

Intuition and synchronicity had led me to the information what I needed to change my 3D belief system, and I was now more than ready to try it.

What follows is taking directly from my diaries from February 1995, and it is very personal, but I publish it in the hope that it may help others who are where I was at.

What’s really been impressed upon me over the last few years and especially over the last few days is that we each make our own reality. We each, by the powers of our mind, shape and form what we believe is going to happen.

What is my reality? Because until I know what I really perceive, I shall keep on going through the same things over and over again. What is my reality?

My belief system.

• I believe that life is full of strive.
• I believe that people will always let you down
• I believe that I will fail in the short term, though ultimately I shall succeed.
• I believe that when things are going well, misery comes from nowhere to shatter the calm.
• I believe that life is really a bitch and you just can’t fight it.
• I believe that I can’t change my reality.
• I believe that no matter what I try, I shall always fail with women.

What a negative belief system. How horrible and unrealistic. I wrote all that without even thinking about it.

Let’s see what positives I can come up with.

• I believe that I truly have the power to change things. (But I can’t access the power to do so.)
• I believe that this may be my last incarnation on earth. (But I could be wrong.)
• I believe that I’ll never have any money problems.
• I believe that I can fix up any problem in my body.
• I believe that I can make a difference.
• I believe that everything has its purpose and timing.

Now, here’s the catch. This last belief is what really holds me back. Subconsciously, if I fail, I simply use the reasoning that it wasn’t meant to be. Now, perhaps this is the illusion. The only thing that wasn’t meant to be was the fact that I didn’t perceive what could be. (I think this is getting complicated.)

In short; my reality stinks. It is negative and almost self-destructive. This is truly a world of illusion. I make the realities and it’s about time I set down some real belief systems.

• Fact: I can protect myself and others.
• Fact: Everything always turns out alright in the end, even when it doesn’t appear to be that way.
• Fact: I am a true power. I have held myself back for too many years. I’ve been scared, lazy, worried, and just plain afraid that I could not do this.
• Everything I expect tends to happen to me.
• I expected that this current transformation would be difficult. It has been.
• I expect that everyone will let me down eventually. They have.
• I expect all the wrong bloody things.

I AM THE CENTER OF MY REALITY. FROM THIS MOMENT ON, ALL THAT HAPPENS TO ME SHALL BE BECAUSE I INFLUENCE IT. 

MY NEW BELIEF SYSTEM

Everybody, no matter who it is, will do what is right by me. No matter what their intent is, they will have no choice but to do right by me. If they try to do the wrong thing, then they will find that they will be compelled to do the right thing. They will do this because this is now my belief.

I have now released enough of the traumas and negatives in my life to become the light I can be. People will now want to be with me. People will now want to have me around. People will not be able to deny me because I will make them happy and help and enlighten them.

I am no longer unlucky in love, friendship or relationship. This is because I am pleasure to be around. In fact, far from being unable to find the right partner, I will be surrounded by the right people. This is now my reality. I shall have choice. I shall be able to pick and choose. Those who will not become my partners will become my friends.

I can really make a difference to this world. And I shall make a difference. This is so because this is now my belief.

I am a being of light, love and harmony.

I am no longer unhappy. All that happens to me now is positive and uplifting. If something bad happens, I have the answers and the solutions and the way of implementing them. They will come to me and I am able to solve any problem. There are no more problems, only solutions. This is so because this is my belief.

I am now able to develop spiritually and metaphysically. There are no more blockages. The more I learn, the more powerful I become. All my powers are used in the service of the universe and to help people grow and bring them out of the illusion and darkness. This is happening now because this is my reality.

THIS IS NOW MY NEW REALITY. SO BE IT.

I printed it out, read it over and over for a few weeks and then one day… everyone on that list was a reality and has become more ever since.

Did it work?

Yes. Maybe just a little too well. I got everything I asked for.

Next:  Think you were done? Think again.

Related articles

• Creating our reality series: Is our belief system all that is? or Astral versus the third dimension. (areyouanempath.com)
• Creating our reality series: Free will is wonderful or I got what I asked for. This sucks! (areyouanempath.com)
• Creating our reality series: I think, therefore I am or I am, therefore I think. (areyouanempath.com)
• Creating our reality series: This is a world of illusions… or is it? (areyouanempath.com)

So here I am. Somewhere a little out of town, lying on the grass by a lake, my jacket as an improvised blanket, accompanied by a good book and ketchup- mayonese flavored potato chips with ginger ale for dinner.

I am surprised to see how many young people have gathered here to either relax and go swimming or to hang out with friends. Having experienced German discipline, I would actually have expected all of the teens to be home and study for finals like crazy.

But besides having a strong discipline, Germans are pretty tolerant people. So based on that, it seems to be just fine to sit by the lake in a group and drink Beck’s beer in public, instead of studying.

This morning for example, I was on my way to town and just got on the train, when two teens entered the wagon and took the two seats in front of me. First they were just talking about all kinds of stuff. They were loud but it was still just a casual talk. THEN one of them got out a phone and started listening to music (including some Rammstein songs) and that at full volume without headphones. Even though the wagon was full of people by then, nobody said anything.

People don’t pay attention to many things or better just tolerate it with no comments. Things like noisy kids, loud music and even books and TV shows that openly criticize the government. Such books even make it into the best seller lists. All no big deal.

A very common thing that I have observed during my residency in Berlin, are youngster couples that like to show HOW MUCH they like each other for everyone to see. That happens almost everywhere. Be it in high school corridors, buses or the jacuzzis in a public swimming pool ( not to mention the saunas). Never have I seen or heard anybody say anything about that.

Everybody just minds his or her business and tries to be better than everybody else. But after all, tolerance is more common than we think.

Stop.

Take a breath.

Rest. Think.

The entire world

keeps turning

while you do.

Still, wait. Think.

Contemplate.

Synchronize.

Then go!

I started this blog to get me into the habit of writing every day. Like one of those fairy stories where someone is granted three wishes, but the consequences are not what they expect, it did work, but the way it did so surprised me.

In one sense, it gave me permission to write less. I stopped writing my fortnightly column for a specialist web-site. This averaged out at a thousand words a go and it produced a lot of content that I would have otherwise not generated. But it was becoming a chore. I had hoped it was going to generate a stream of enquiries for my business, and I had dreamed of planning a coherent series of topics, but it didn’t work out like that. Every fortnight the deadline would come round and I was faced with blank page syndrome and no clear idea why I putting myself through it.

Ending (or at least pausing) this commitment coincided with my doing less of other things. For example, I had recently stopped attending regular networking events and ceased working on the redesign of my business website. In theory, these were important marketing activities. In practice, I now realise that they were distracting me from what I really needed to do.

There have been other changes. I work mainly from home, and the recent fine weather has enabled me to get some domestic distractions out of the way. Grass is shorter, sheds are tidier and floors are cleaner. The effect has been to reduce a pressure that was always in the background. My father’s lifetime of clutter, to say nothing of mine, means there is still rubbish to be cleared and a loft to be tackled, but it all seems manageable. A heavy black cloud taking up space in my head has been dissolved.

In the margins, I have probably read more – mostly professional stuff. I’ve caught up with a few things on BBC iPlayer – despite the software behaving miserably. And I have spent a few hours glued to Twitter. (Incidentally, if you want to seriously depress yourself about the state of humanity, a very good way is to set up a Twitter search based on ‘Enfield’, taking care to filter out rifles, Harry, the Royal Enfield motorbike and Connecticut.)

It might seem that starting this blog would also be a distraction. It is, but of a different kind. It doesn’t pretend to be work, but seems to act as a catalyst in focusing my mind on what is important.

In the past, there has always been an uncomfortable trade-off between thinking long-term and going for short-term income. What has changed is that I am now blessed with a very supportive life-partner, which means that I don’t have to worry about producing income so long as I keep my costs under control. He continually, albeit gently, points out to me that I am now well into my seventh decade, and if I am to capitalise on the knowledge and experience I have accumulated over the years, I need to get a move on.

But he has also made clear that I don’t need to do it. I could stop tomorrow. I think that so long as he had access to my counsel and support (which seems to have proved very useful in his work), he would be quite happy for me to play the role of househusband. I have to confess that part of me wouldn’t mind doing it. For example, it would free me up to volunteer for the Beanstalk charity, listening to and supporting children while they read. (But I suspect that I would still have nagging doubts about ‘what might have been’.)

The net effect of these changes, including this blog, has been to shift my perspective and open up space to think about what I really want to achieve.

A few weeks ago, I started using a mind-mapping tool called FreeMind. I thought it would be helpful in the development of my new business website. I had already tried using project management software to design a network of activities, and then realised that I needed something which would enable me to capture and rearrange ideas as a preliminary stage, hence the mind map.

The key word there is ‘rearrange’. Since I embarked on the mind map, it has taken on a life of its own. In recent years, I would say that about five percent of my professional interactions have been about communicating ideas and how they fit together. Ninety-five percent has been about responding to client situations and offering ways of understanding them. What each person sees of what I know is like the tip of an iceberg. The bit they see is supported by a lot of other stuff that is below the waterline.

Now, everything below the waterline is coming to the surface. Sequences of ideas are being arranged and then rearranged. Connections are becoming explicit. By turns the experience is confusing, enlightening and, ultimately, validating. Many mindmaps that I see are simply networks of ideas, like chapter headings. But what seems to be emerging here is a coherent set of arguments. I’m finding out what I actually believe. I’m not writing, but writing I am.

Based on my experience, the things mentioned above included, languages are fascinating but they also include learning grammar rules and learning vocabulary, just to score high on the next pop quiz given by the teacher.

Recently however, I have discovered that the knowledge of languages can sometimes be used in an entertaining and interesting way.

Especially since I am back home in Berlin, I have become witness to several conversations that people have with each other. Listening to such talks can be very
fun sometimes. I guess that this is because all of us like to put our nose into the business of other people the one way or the other and maybe even subconsciously.

I remember having Russian neighbors a couple of years ago. Since Russian happens to be my native language, it was very amusing to listen to some of the arguments that my neighbors had with each other at any time of the day.

One morning I was woken up around seven in the morning on a Saturday by my neighbor screaming ” I was busy” as a response to some reproach of his wife.

Then I also noticed that, in Berlin, trains seem to be the perfect place for young people to either commit to or terminate a relationship (for some very strange reason).

I can’t believe how many times I have been listening to people saying things like: “Oh no! You cannot do that to me! It is your child as well, you know? Oh you know what, that’s it!” and all that in several languages.

I think the best thing that I have seen so far, was a young man committing his love to his girlfriend (on the phone) in an underground train during rush hour, speaking into his headphones’ micro, which made it seem like he was actually talking to himself.

But then, on other days, you may just run into a group of teen Goths with huge travel backpacks, discussing their next destination in fluent Spanish.

So after all, languages are not only practical but they can also become a source of entertainment during long and boring train rides.