A few weeks ago, I met with a medium. She was at a gathering for “entertainment purposes only” but after a few people emerged from their sessions in tears, I couldn’t wait for my turn.  If there is anything I like as much as a salty pitcher of Margaritas, it’s a nose dripping, hyperventilating, tissue ripping sob. Sometimes the two even have a funny way of working together.

I wasn’t skeptical; more liked scared out of my mind.  I was sure the medium would take my hand, look deep into my eyes and say, “I’m sorry. I cannot read your future because you do not have one. You will leave here tonight, suffer a terrible heart attack, get struck by lightning and be run over by a garbage truck full of diapers.  If that doesn’t kill you, I suggest you see a doctor very soon; something is seriously wrong with your flux capacitor. Sorry. Also, your high school boyfriend lied – he wasn’t at football practice every Thursday. He was with his other girlfriend and they were laughing at your hair. Anyhow, your ass is fat AND your children hate you. That will be seventy dollars, please.”

Instead, she was eerily accurate about several things, even dead-on about others.  I won’t get into too much detail here, but suffice to say I should probably start shaving my legs again and buying a hairbrush might not be a bad idea.

Have you ever been to a medium, or had a psychic experience?

It’s been a busy few weeks. We’re in the homestretch at school for semester finals, and so there is much procrastinating to be done here at home. I am in pre-finals nesting mode and taking it very seriously. I am sacrificing personal hygiene even more than usual to gain the extra time to clean and organize. My hair is in a permanent ponytail, and I am living out of my laundry basket, which supplies me with a steady rotation of bleach splattered yoga pants and 1970’s Stadium Rock concert T-shirts. My hair is a few weeks past due for a colour and last week my mascara and eyeliner made a fatal leap into the bathroom garbage can. According to their suicide note, they could “no longer live a neglected existence.”

But I have purged my house of all transient Lego, broken Transformer limbs and a few thousand dried up play dough creations found under the couch. There is now only edible food in my refrigerator, and the floors are clean enough to walk on. I closed the sandbox for the season and reclaimed from its mucky depths my lime reamer, orange juicer and grapefruit corer. Maybe now we have a chance at avoiding scurvy this winter.

But I think I may want to pull back on the house cleaning and perhaps concentrate on the personal grooming again. Soon.  All vestige of my girliness is quickly disappearing.

A phone call I received last week went like this:

Me: Hello?

Clearly insane man on other end: Hey Steve!

Me: Uh, no. I’m not Steve.

Him: Are you sure?

 recovered from that one, and decided to get out for a bit. Dog Lover wants to take guitar lessons, so we headed out to inquire at a few music shops. At one store, the owner went on for a bit about the logistics of the lessons – meeting times, group sizes, etc., and then stopped and asked me, “But are you the decision maker, Gramma?”

 What. Did. You. Just. Say. To. Me.

 My daughter is 10. One then zero TEN. She’s 10. I’m 36. As in an easy 15 years younger than you, Mr. Guitar Man, whose snap-fastened shirt was too tight and the wrong colour for you.

THIRTYFREAKINSIX. 

My daughter is a sharp tack, and saw her guitar playing days disappearing before her very eyes; all aspirations of rock-stardom dashed with the callous words of this sorely uninformed and sorely deranged man. She quickly attempted to assess and rectify the looming catastrophe. 

She started in on him, imploring, “I want you to teach me the entire Led Zeppelin catalogue so I may serenade my poor young mother with the soothing rock of the greatest band ever, who were clearly formed much before her birth which is so obviously less than forty years ago..”

She had to finish her sentence from the sidewalk. Once outside, she turned to me and said, “We’re never coming back here, are we?”

When I told PM, expecting sympathy and reassurances of my youthful vitality and glowing agelessness, he just shrugged.

“Hey,” he said, “It could have been worse. He could have asked if you were her Grandpa.”

It would be nice if finger and toe nails could possibly agree on some sort of fixed schedule for growing because it seems to me that there are really no rules governing the rate at which they grow and one day I look down and say to myself  that I’ve got at least a few weeks until I’ll need to cut them  and then suddenly, overnight or maybe even just after lunchtime, they have grown back almost instantaneously to a ridiculous length.  Maybe it’s just me — and it probably is — but it seems like these things are just haphazardly deciding on a new schedule every week and it would be great if they would just either stop growing or at least establish some sort of consensus regarding a growth timetable.  It’s a damned good thing that cutting them feels so awesome, especially just after showering and despite the fact that it’s so difficult to aim them into the trash can or toilet while you are clipping them off. 

In general, actually, I can’t really think of many interesting things about having nails other than the fact that they only seem to attract dirt that is dark green in color, which I imagine would be the case even if you rubbed your hands in blue mud for a half hour or if the color green was nonexistent on Earth.  The other interesting thing about nails is that everyone else’s always look really fucking gross and unnatural compared to your own and actually if I’ve  known someone for a long time and we are good friends and then one day I notice what their nails look like, for a few short seconds it’s literally like I don’t know them at all and actually most of the time I am so absolutely goddamn repulsed by their nails that I briefly reconsider the friendship altogether and actually sorta feel a real strong sense of disgust and hatred towards the person for having such strange, mutant-looking nails on their hands, but then I’ll force myself to put the whole thing out of my head and I’ll desperately try to remind myself that this person and I actually have a lot of other things in common despite the fact that their finger nails are abnormally wide or long or misshapen and really disgust me. That’s usually the last time I ever take a look at my friend’s finger nails ever again if I have any hope of salvaging the relationship or maintaining any sense of affection for this mutant friend of mine.

The H1N1 Swine Flu virus knows no borders,has no boundaries, and has absolutely no respect for religious or cultural traditions.

This year at the annual Hajj to Mecca,  Four foreign pilgrims have died of swine flu, the Saudi Health Ministry announced on Saturday.

The Saudi Arabia Health Ministry  said none of the four foreign victims had been vaccinated against the H1N1 virus, as has been recommended by The Health Ministry.

An official statement released by the ministry said all had underlying health problems, including cancer and respiratory illness, AFP news agency reported.

Three of the victims died in Medina and one in Mecca.

http://www.arabnews.com/?page=1&section=0&article=128688&d=22&m=11&y=200Over

The BBC is reporting that….up to three million Muslims from around the world take part in the holy pilgrimage every year, but health officials have expressed fears that it could provide a breeding ground for the virus.

Authorities had tried to prepare for any outbreaks by installing thermal cameras at airports and sea terminals, deploying 15,000 additional health workers and ensuring hundreds of extra beds were available.

The Hajj (Arabic: حج‎ Ḥaǧǧ) is a pilgrimage to Mecca. It is currently the largest annual pilgrimage in the world,^[1] and is the fifth pillar of Islam, a moral obligation that must be carried out at least once in their lifetime by every able-bodied Muslim who can afford to do so. The Hajj is a demonstration of the solidarity of the Muslim people, and their submission to Allah (God).^[2] The pilgrimage occurs from the 7th to 13th day of Dhu al-Hijjah, the 12th month of the Islamic calendar. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hajj)

The Health Minister has reported that there are 16 other people that have been diagnosed with swine flu and four remain in hospital in “critical condition”.

He added 12 others had recovered following treatment.

The Saudi government has recommended the elderly, pregnant women, people with chronic diseases and children skip the Hajj this year.

The Saudi government has said all pilgrims need a certificate of vaccination before they can apply for a visa.

This is real people, and this disease is spreading worldwide,at a rapid pace.

I encourage everyone to get a H1N1 swine flu shot as soon as you can.The reports of any side effects are exaggerated, and will cause millions of people to perish from the lack of the vaccine.

Any paranoia surrounding any alledged complications from the shot are totally unsubstantiated, and if those people out there insist on not receiving the vaccine, then we as a society should only expect more mounting mass casualties from the swine flu, as exhibited this weekend, unfortunately in Mecca.

If it can happen in Mecca, it can happen anywhere.

Please everyone, wash your hands, and go get the shot.

To follow the full story, click on the links for my sources below…

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iDApMAhUln5jw-ffhzIZCh0I_-bgD9C41MJ00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8372378.stm

http://www.saudiembassy.net/latest_news/news11210903.aspx

In 1798, the famous caricaturist Thomas Rowlandson drew The Comforts of Bath, a series of satiric drawings. The cartoons were used to illustrate the 1858 edition of the New Bath Guide, written by Christopher Anstey and first published in 1766.* Rowlandson depicted both the social and medical scene in Bath just before the period described by Jane Austen in Northanger Abbey and Persuasion, and by Georgette Heyer in her Regency romances.

The Portrait, Comforts of Bath, 1798, Thomas Rowlandson

In this post I combined Rowlandson’s images with excerpts from an 1811 guidebook, A new guide through Bath and its environs By Richard Warner. The scenes depict the use of mineral water therapy for the invalids who flocked to Bath, a city whose fashionable post-Nash reputation was already well past its prime and whose medical men were generally regarded as quacks or, worse, “potential murderers”. The rotund gentleman in front and center of all these scenes (who undoubtedly suffered from gout, a painful rich man’s disease), was conjectured to be based after Tobias Smollet’s Mr. Bramble. In the pictorial’s subtext, notice how “Mr. Bramble’s” young wife (companion or daughter) flirts with the young officer who boldly woos her (Image above). Even while satirizing them, Rowlandson gets the social details just right. Underneath each image sits a quote from the guidebook.

King Bladud's Bath, Comforts of Bath, Rowlandson

It is fit for the patient when he goeth into the bath to defend those parts which are apt to be offended by the bath, as to have his head well covered from the air and wind and from the vapours arising from the bath, also his kidneys if they be subject to the stone, anointed with some cooling unguents as rosatum comitiffs infrigidans Galeni Santo linum &c. Also, to begin gently with the bath till his body be inured to it, and to be quiet from swimming or much motion which may offend the head by sending up vapours thither at his coming forth, to have his body well dryed and to rest in his bed an hour and sweat, etc.” – A New Guide Through Bath, 1811

The Pump Room, The Comforts of Bath, 1798, Rowlandson

The new Pump Room supplied water from a covered pump. Before the room was built, the populace drank the waters in the open air. But the new rooms allowed them to

…  take the exercise prescribed to them sheltered from the inclemency of the weather. The work was accordingly begun in 1704, finished two years afterwards, and opened for the reception of the company under the auspices of Mr Nash, who had just then become the Arbiter Elegantiarum of Bath…A New Guide Through Bath, 1811

Black and White detail of above print

In the year 1751 [The Pump] Room was enlarged. Accommodated with a beautiful Portico stretching from it in a northern direction in 1786, and adorned with superb Western Frontispiece in 1791, The Corporation further beautified the city in 1796 by taking down the old Pump Room entirely and building on its site the much larger and more magnificent edifice known at present by that name…A New Guide Through Bath, 1811

Public Breakfast, The Comforts of Bath, 1798, Rowlandson

Pertaining to the construction of  the Harrison rooms and the Assembly Rooms:

Temporary booths had hitherto been the only places in which the company could drink their tea and divert themselves with cards, but Mr Harrison, a man of spirit and speculation, perceiving that a building of this nature was much wanted and would probably make him a very suitable return, undertook at the suggestion of Mr Nash to erect a large and commodious room for the purpose of receiving the company.  The succes of this attempt induced a similar one in the year 1728, when another large room was built by Mr Thayer.  A regular system of pleasurable amusements commenced from this period, and the gay routine of public breakfasts, morning concerts, noon card parties, evening promenades, and nocturnal balls rolled on in an endless and diversified succession. - A New Guide Through Bath, 1811

Company at Play, The Comforts of Bath, Rowlandson

Rules card games:

That no persons be permitted to play with cards left by another party;  That no hazard or unlawful game of any sort be allowed in these Rooms on any account whatever nor any cards on Sundays...A New Guide Through Bath, 1811

The Concert, Bath Chambers, Rowlandson

For music sweet music has charms to controul; And tune up each passion that ruffles the soul; What things have I read and what stories been told; Of feats that were done by musicians of old – The New Bath Guide, 1779

Dinner, Comforts of Bath, 1798

Bath has little trade and no manufactures; the higher clafles of people and their dependents conftitute the chief part of the population, and the number of the lower clafles being but fmall…A New Guide Through Bath, 1811

Bath Races, Rowlandson

More on the topic:

• Thomas Rowlandson’s “The Comforts of Bath”  (1798)
• New Bath Guide, Christopher Anstey, 1779, Google book
• *From Hogarth to Rowlandson,medicine in art in eighteenth-century Britain By Fiona Haslam, 1996,  p 174
• In the bowels of the novel: The exchange of fluids in the Beau Monde
• Beechen Cliff, the Arts and Natural Surroundings
• The Lower Assembly Rooms and Bath Society
• Dancing in Regency Bath
• The Pump Room: Little-Known and Well-Known Facts

1: Save on manicures and nail trimming by typing extremely fast for long periods. If you participate in the yearly NaNoWriMo challenge you will automatically lose all your fingernails.

2: Dispense with face creams, anti-wrinkle products and Botox. This will automatically give your face a deeply etched, lived in look that will suggest wisdom and gravitas. This otherwise haggard, drained appearance will enhance your literary kudos and make you appear a serious author.

(Caveat: If you want to appear on the bestseller list, or in society pages, get an exorbitant book deal,  sell the film rights on your first effort at a novel, and appear on I’m a Celebrity ignore the above and get a complete makeover and facelift/get your younger sister to impersonate you, even if you are a man.)

3: For Men, stop shaving, grow a beard. See number 2.

4: Save an extraordinary amount on clothes, buy two tracksuits and wear them in rotation. If you are serious about your writing you will always be at your desk writing anyway and will never go out. In the month of November, if you are doing NaNoWriMo don’t bother to get dressed at all, wear your pyjamas all the time. You will not only save on clothes but on washing. This means you are a champion for the environment since you are not putting on the washing machine or travelling anywhere. This should make you feel super.

5: If you get an agent, take a risk and buy a smart casual outfit. If you don’t yet have a book deal go to a charity outlet. The charity shops do a wonderful line in jackets with attitude, for example, leather, tweed, floral. Choose the correct one for your genre. If you can’t stretch to charity shop chic, send your younger sister out to meet the agent.

6: Avoid hair cuts. They make you lose your power. If you are a real writer you will be more of an arty hippy type anyway and growing your hair long will promote that impression. You may trim your own fringe if it gets in your eyes and prevents you from writing. DO NOT. DO NOT trim the bit that you twist around your fingers while waiting for inspiration. If you cut that piece off you may never produce anything of quality again.

7: Have showers, they are wonderful places to get your creative head in gear and have the added benefit of make you smell slightly better after endless days in the same room with half eaten ham sandwiches. While baths have been accredited with give Archimedes his inspired Eureka! moment, they should be reserved for those working on intergenerational sagas only.

8: Brush your teeth, several times a day but try not to drip toothpaste all over your keyboard when you trail back into your writing room from the bathroom while forgetting what you are doing. As a rule, try to remove all evidence of your body parts/dna/hair/skin/nails from your keyboard each day as it may irretrievably clog up.

9: Make your own deodorant. There are many recipes on the internet for natural inexpensive homemade deodorants. Don’t search for/google these recipes. You are supposed to be writing, not wasting your time on fruitless googling. Most of the recipes include bread soda and shea butter. If you don’t happen to have shea butter use ordinary butter instead, its probably more or less the same. And speaking of fruit, oranges and lemons are often used for household cleaning so I’m sure if you squash an orange into your bread soda- butter concoction it will be work beautifully. Failing that add a kiwi. Don’t worry about the pithy bits or the black seeds, you are alone, writing, no-one can see you.  Anyway you want to be pithy, don’t you? If you really must, write and sell your recipe for homemade deodorant on the web. Once you get paid you will be able to buy some plain biscuits to dip in your hot water.

10.  Does my bum look big in this writing chair? Exercise. You do not need a gym. You can burn 5000 calories a day by participating in NaNoWriMo or churning out a YA novel series at speed. (You need to churn out YA novels at speed so that your target audience hasn’t grown up, moved onto the next bright thing, before you finish). Typing quickly is a terrific way of keeping yourself in shape. Get in the habit of doing ten star jumps every time you lose the flow of your piece. Do 50 press ups every time you think of giving up. Anything is easier than 50 press ups, even writing. Rotate your eyes every ten minutes to prevent goggle-eyed-itus. Rotate your neck so that it doesn’t jam in one position. Rotate your ankles and stretch your legs frequently so that your walking muscles haven’t deteriorated beyond use by the time you finish your novel. Good luck with your personal grooming and one final tip – never use webcam!

A four-month old infant girl is the latest casualty to succumb to the deadly H1N1 Swine flu virus that is spreading faster than a wildfire across the nation.

The flu pandemic is on the rise and has been allowed to kill at a rate that has gone unchecked, due to the lack of and the fear of taking the Swine flu vaccination.The vaccine has been doled out to a select few qualifying groups of minor children,health workers, and people who supervise and come in to contact with groups of children.

In this latest case, doctors suspect that, since infants under the age of 6 months can not take the current vaccine due to health risk, and the fact that her parents were not allowed to be vaccinated since they are not in a rationing qualifying group, they were all at risk to be infected by the virus.

It is being reported in the media that both of the deceased baby girls siblings had received the H1N1 vaccinations, as their parents value and respect the vaccination program.

The infant had no known underlying medical conditions, according to the San Diego County Health and Human Services Agency, and none of the family members, vaccinated or not, tested positive for the virus, so it is still a mystery as to how the infant contracted the disease. They also report that the child had no underlying medical conditions, that has been known to make the virus even more deadly, and has been cited as the cause of dying from the disease.

I suspect that someone kissed the child, or hugged her, as people tend to do with babies, and that would be hard to track, and most Americans do not wash their hands after using the bathroom or sneezing in their hands,which only helps to spread the disease.

“If a child that age — up to 5 years old — gets a fever, shows symptoms, the parents should seek medical care as soon as possible because they can go down the tubes really fast,” County public health officer Wilma Wooten said.

Doctors at the Rady children’s Hospital in San Diego say that this case is unusual because the child exhibited no signs of the flu. She only had a little bit of a cough, but no fever or running nose for about four days.

On the fourth day the mom put the child down to sleep, and 45 minutes in to the babies nap, the mom discovered the child had stopped breathing.

She was rushed to Paradise Valley Hospital in south San Diego and was resuscitated, then flown to Rady’s children’s Hospital, where she died 24 hours later.

Dr. John Bradley of Rady’s Children Hospital stated that…We now know that H1N1 probably had something to do with setting up the baby for not breathing”…

To date, there have been 33 deaths of San Diego County residents linked to the H1N1 influenza and four deaths of non-residents, according to the HHSA. The number of people hospitalized with the virus locally stands at 617!!!

There is only enough vaccines to help 13% of the population, but each of the county’s where the infant died, six public health centers and one immunization clinic have each received between 20 and 60 additional doses of injectable H1N1 vaccine, according to the HHSA.

Those vaccines will be given to pregnant women which is a high risk group that is given priority due the rationing of the vaccinations due to a production shortage.

I am also afraid that the paranoia associated with the fear of the side effects of the vaccination will only help to spread the disease even quicker.I personally know some associates of mine that refuse to be inoculated due to their holistic beliefs, and some people reject it out of pure ignorance.

The problem with all of that is that Americans continue to have deplorable personal hygiene. I have witnessed some who think it is funny to sneeze and cough in the face of some unsuspecting citizen, in a ‘Jackass” inspired joke, and these are the same guys that do not bother to wash their hands after using the restroom.

I would rather risk the side effects of the H1N1 vaccine, than risk having to rely upon the general public to wash their hand,..or for that matter to wash their bodies at all. I know the latter is more of a risk, and I refuse to gamble with my health.

Those with underlying medical conditions experiencing influenza-like symptoms should contact their doctor immediately, according to the Health and Human Services Agency .

County health officials again encouraged people to stay away from work or school if they have influenza-like symptoms such as fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue.

Please practice safe and sane pristine personal hygiene…our lives depend on our cleanliness!!!

Follow this story by clicking on this link….

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/health/Infant-Dies-of-Swine-Flu-70416072.html

Finding the perfect toilet to use in a public restroom is a lot like the story of Goldielocks and the Three Bears, only that I am Goldielocks and the perfect porridge is the toilet with the least amount of shit splattered all over the seat, and the three bears are the guy with the digestive tract infection who decides to moan and gurgle in the stall right next to mine despite the fact that 9 other stalls are completely empty.  Not sure if Goldielocks ever used those paper mache toilet seat covers, which if they haven’t ripped already when being taken out of the dispenser will fold right down the middle and fall into the bowl once I put it on the seat and have already faced the other way with my pants down. Well, anyhow, back to the initial decision process; I can’t be completely sure if Goldielocks was as repulsed by all the bowls of porridge she passed as she searched for the one that was ‘just right’ as I am as I pass some of the toilets in these restrooms, many of them which literally look like a human being locked himself into the stall and then rapidly disemboweled himself all over the bowl and then took a paint brush to the stuff and did a piece of impressionist art  on the ceramic tile walls. I highly doubt that Goldielocks encountered bowls of porridge that matched this description, or whether or not she would go around trying the stuff along the way if she had. Really, anyway, that’s it with this eloquent comparison of a children’s fairy tale story and shit-covered toilets. And to think, some said it could never be done.  To be honest, though, I don’t really buy the analogy myself, except for that whole three bears-guy with digestive tract infection thing, which I think is spot on.

gearheart:

January seedling, we come in peace.  bare tokens in the freeze to earn yr martyr.  i spent a chilly pride at the grave of a piano-tuner, scrubbing my figure like a cult.  do these things follow faces?

gustwick.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

I work the front desk of a busy resort and one of the precautions we are taking during the flu season is making hand sanitizer available for guests and employees.  We’ve seen various brands of sanitizer here but the best one I like is Germ-X with Aloe.
 
Yes, it still has that hospital smell of alcohol but after a few minutes on the hands it mellows out into an aloe smell.  Other brands of sanitizer we have used have had a way more harsh smell that lingers.  While the aloe doesn’t “moisturize” like you think aloe would, it does offset some of the drying side effects of the sanitizer.
 
The one negative I have found to this sanitizer, and I’m sure it holds true to other sanitizers, is that it tastes horrible.  And I only know this because I was eating popcorn one day after work (where I had used the Germ-X many times, and even washed my hands after work), and I licked my fingers.  That was a horribly medicinal taste if I’ve ever tasted one.  It was almost like taking a Tylenol and not washing it down quickly enough.  Yuck!
 
I can’t really attest to its ability to kill 99.99% of germs, but nobody at the front desk has gotten the flu or really gotten sick since we started using it.  I would think that if anybody were likely to get the flu, it would be us front desk people who, on some days, see hundreds of people in and out of the resort!

(If you’re not a woman, but were interested by the subject after reading and know women who might need a change in that sense, pay it forward!)

Picture this :

You’re a woman. Every month, for the rest of your pre-menopausal life, you shall be reminded of that fact. The reminder comes in the form of the less than appreciated period. Every month, you will need to use some kinds of products to collect and dispose properly of the menses. Every year, a woman will spend a great amount of money buying products to do the job, giving her hard-earned cash to huge companies profiting from the fact that we’re women. Tampons, pads…in various shapes, sizes, colors, etc., each of those which will be flushed or trashed away, after having been bought too often and at too high a price for cheap cardboard and plastic.

The solution ? Well, there are two ! I came upon theses life-changing solutions about a year ago and have never looked back.

First : the Diva Cup. The idea is quite simple : a device that’s inserted in the vagina to collect the blood, emptied when full, washed and reused. I don’t know how I managed to go through each month without it. It’s completely safe (i.e. no risk of being struck by the toxic shock syndrome), it reduces cramps because of its position while inside, it holds a great amount of liquid so it can be kept safely inside for 12 hours in a row. The best about it : Once you’ve bought it, you’re DONE ! No need to worry about getting your monthly supplies at the drugstore or wondering if you have enough left. Pay once and get on with your life…or at least, a great part of it as it can last many years. Get one and forget you’re even having your period! Go to www.divacup.com

Second : The LunaPads (there are other brands, but this is the one I am using) : washable, reusable felt pads (for when you don’t feel like inserting anything). Comes in various shapes, colours, sizes, even as panties. Great absorption power. Does what it should, with an eco-friendly twist.  Go to www.lunapads.com

I would like you to know that I wouldn’t be advertising any brands if they hadn’t improved my life in some way. I just feel it’s important to share with you those who were able to achieve high standards in eco-friendly ways that work in everyday life. I wanna congratulate those who stand out and need to be known  by as many people as possible.

See you soon!

Cleanliness is part of Imaan

By Dr. Mozammel Haque

Today I will be discussing, Insha Allah, one of the most important practical aspects of Islam which is cleanliness. Islam is beautiful and that’s why its followers are beautiful and clean. But when you move around the High Street of any European country and come across any dirty shop, you would be surprised to know that the owner of that shop is none other than a Muslim.

The Muslim whom Islam wants to stand out among people is very clean. He has high standards of personal hygiene, bathing frequently in accordance with the guidance of the Prophet (peace be upon him) who encouraged people to wash themselves completely and wear perfume, especially on Fridays: “Have a bath on Fridays and wash your heads, even if you are not in a state of Junabah (impurity, e.g. following marital relations), and wear perfume.” (Al-Bukhari).

The Prophet (pbuh) placed such a great emphasis on cleanliness and bathing that some of the four Imams considered performing ghusl before Friday prayer to be obligatory (wajib). Abu Hurayrah (RA) said: “The Prophet said: ‘It is the duty of every Muslim to take a bath (at least) once every seven days, and to wash his head and his body.” (Agreed upon)

The true Muslim keeps his clothes and socks clean, checking them from time to time, to be sure that they have no unpleasant smell. He also wears perfume to help keep him clean. It is reported that ‘Omar (RA) used to say: “Whoever spends a third of his wealth on perfume is not being extravagant.”

The smart Muslim takes care of his mouth, for no one should ever have to smell an unpleasant odour coming from it. He does this by cleaning his teeth every day with a siwak, toothbrush, toothpaste and mouthwashes. Aishah narrated that the prophet (pbuh) “never woke from sleeping at any time of day or night without cleaning his teeth with a siwak before performing wudu.”

The Prophet’s concern for oral hygiene was so great that he said, “If it were not for the fact that I did not want to overburden my Ummah, I would have ordered them to use the siwak before every prayer.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim). Aishah (RA) was asked what the Prophet (pbuh) used to do first when he came home. She said: “Use siwak.” (Muslim).

Regrettably, some Muslims neglect these teachings that are at the heart of Islam, and do not pay heed to the cleanliness of their mouths, bodies and clothes. So you may see them going to the mosque or to other religious meetings and study circles, annoying their brothers with their unpleasant smell and offending the angels who surround these blessed gatherings. What is really strange is the fact that they themselves listen to and repeat the saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him) that whoever eats onions, garlic or leeks should not go to the mosque because his breath may disturb the angels and the people:

“Whoever eats onions, garlic or leeks should not approach our mosque, because whatever offends the sons of Adam may offend the angels.” (Muslim).

The Prophet (pbuh) banned those who had eaten these pungent vegetables from coming anywhere near the mosque, lest the people and the angels be offended by their bad breath, but these smells pale into insignificance beside the stench of dirty clothes, filthy socks, unwashed bodies and unclean mouths that emanates from some careless and unkempt individuals who offend others in any gathering.

Imam Ahmad and Imam al-Nisa’I narrate that Jabir (RA) said: “The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) came to visit us, and saw a man who was wearing dirty clothes. He said, ‘Could this person not find anything with which to wash his clothes?‘”

The Prophet (pbuh) did not like a Muslim to appear before people wearing dirty clothes, if he had the means to clean them. He encouraged Muslims always to dress in clean clothes and to present a neat and attractive appearance. He used to say: “There is nothing wrong with keeping two garments for Friday, apart from one’s workaday clothes.” (Reported by Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah.)

Islam frequently encourages its followers to be clean always, to perfume their clothes and to ensure that their bodies always smell fresh and clean. This is what the Prophet (pbuh) used to do, according to the report that Imam Muslim quotes from Anas ibn Malik, who said: “I have never smelt any ambergris or musk that had a better scent than the scent of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh).”

Many reports describe the cleanliness of the Prophet’s clothes and body, and describe the sweet smell of his sweat. For example, if he shook hands with a man, his beautiful scent would remain on that man’s hand for the rest of the day, and if he laid his hand on the head of a child, that child would stand out from others by virtue of his sweet smell.

How urgent is the Muslims’ need to follow the guidance of this great Messenger in his command to take care of one’s hair and keep it neat in accordance with the teachings of Islam. This is reported in the Hadith that Abu Dawud quotes from Abu Hurayrah (RA), who said: “The Prophet (pbuh) said: ‘Whoever has hair, let him look after it properly.’”

Looking after one’s hair, according to Islamic teaching, involves keeping it clean, combing it, perfuming it and styling itnicely.

The true Muslim takes good care of his clothes, so you will see him presenting a pleasant appearance, without being extravagant. He is pleasant to look at and to meet, and does not annoy people with his careless, disheveled appearance. He always checks himself before he goes out to meet people, and he makes himself look good, in moderation, for the Prophet (pbuh) used to make himself look good in from his Companions, as well as in front of his family. In his commentary on the ayah (verse), “Say: Who has forbidden the beautiful (gifts) of Allah, which He has produced for His servants, and the things, clean and pure, (which He has provided) for sustenance?….” (al-A”raf 7:32)

Al-Qurtubi said: “Makhul reported from Aishah (RA): “A group of the Companions of the Prophet (pbuh) was waiting at the door for him, so he prepared to go out to meet them. There was a vessel of water in the house, and he peered into it, smoothing his beard and his hair. (Aishah said:) I asked him, “O Messenger of Allah, even you do this?” He said, “Yes, when a man goes out to meet his brothers, let him prepare himself properly, for Allah is beautiful and loves beauty.””

The Muslim does all of this in accordance with the Islamic ideal of moderation, avoiding the extremes of either exaggeration or negligence.

Source

Rating: 3 out of 5.

My hair isn’t dry, but it is fairly fine.  I’ve found that if I use a moisturizing shampoo that I don’t need to use a conditioner that weighs my hair down.  I was excited to find the Aussie Moist shampoo because I used Aussie a long time ago and I love the smell.  The bigger bottle it comes in has a pump, which I think is very convenient for the shower.

Unfortunately, those were the only nice things about the this shampoo.  After a few days, my hair just felt waxy and looked unwashed.  I looked into it and couldn’t find many reviews that mentioned any of that.  My boyfriend uses it and loves it.  His hair is thick and shiny.  For me, though, I couldn’t imagine using the combination shampoo/conditioner, let alone a conditioner on top of Aussie Moist.

The large bottle retails for about $8, the smaller bottles about $4.

Jon Tenuta is not worried about the Naval Academy’s triple-option attack.

“Nope, doesn’t bother me. I’ve been in this game a long time so I’ve seen every option known to mankind.”

Oklahoma’s Wishbone? Stopped ‘it. Air Force’s deceptively fast QBs? Nailed ‘em. Nebraska’s Tommie Frazier? Bottled up.

Haircuts, electric razors and a toothbrush? Still workin on those guys . . .

How To Be More Eco-Friendly

It doesn’t take a genius to see that we as human beings are destroying the environment. The ozone layer’s diminishing, forests are vanishing…when is it going to stop? And what can we do about it?

Well, quite a lot, actually. If all of us make a concerted effort to be a little ‘greener’, then the effect across the globe may end up being significant.

The following are just a few of the simple and inexpensive things you can do to help the environment.

Reduce CO2 Emissions 

The best way to do this would be to calculate the number of CO2 emissions you currently emit, then cut that total in half. For example, if you normally release two-thousand CO2 emissions each day, limit yourself to only one thousand, releasing them in smaller but more frequent portions. 

While dining at a restaurant, ask the waiter for a take-out container, then put half the emissions into the box as soon as your order arrives. Try to emit the rest slowly while enjoying other things, like the restaurant’s ambiance or the pleasant conversation you are having with your date. Remember, it takes about 20 minutes before your body starts to feel satisfied, so releasing your emissions at a slower pace will prevent you from over-emitting.

You can always take some of the emissions back out of the carton at the restaurant if find that you aren’t satisfied, but chances are you won’t want to.

Don’t Be a “Tosser” (But not in the British meaning of the word)

Don’t litter.  Put your trash where it belongs – in the garbage, recycling bin or compost it.

Others will follow your lead. 

*Keep in mind that masturbation and doing your part to help the environment are two entirely different activities, and satisfying yourself sexually really has no bearing whatsoever on whether or not you care about the environment as a whole. What you do behind closed doors is your own business, and as long as you are doing whatever it is that you do behind closed doors in a safe,  eco-friendly way, no one will be any the wiser.

Start an Eco-Friendly Facebook Group 

A great way to show others how eco-friendly you’ve become is by starting an environmentally-friendly Facebook group. Call the group something like “Mother Nature Kicks Ass” or “If I Can Get 10,000,000,000 People to Join This Group Then the Environment Will be Safe”. Since the current world population is less that 7 billion, it’s safe to say that you won’t have to follow through on this promise.

Once you’ve started your group,  invite everyone on your friends list to join. If they decline, send the request to them again. Keep sending it to them until they finally buckle under the pressure and give in.

If for some reason they don’t buckle under the pressure and instead decide to delete you as a friend, don’t worry about it. You don’t need environmentally-unfriendly friends like that anyway.

Become a Lesbian 

It’s a known fact that lesbian women (especially the butchy ones), are much more environmentally-conscious than their heterosexual, non-butchy counterparts. Have you ever seen a full on bull-dyke sporting a hairstyle that required the frequent and repeated use of an aerosol-type hairspray? Or wearing appearance-enhancing cosmetic products that may or may not have been tested on animals?

I didn’t think so.  

Don’t Shave 

Nobody would ever accuse a feral child of trying to destroy the planet. And you know why? Because they don’t shave, that’s why!  Razors are destructive. Every time you pull out a convenient Mach3 Turbo with improved lubrication and anti-friction blades, you might as well be pulling out a loaded semi-automatic and waving it around the forest like a crazy person, threatening to destroy everything that Mother Nature has worked so hard to create.

If you are truly committed to becoming the most environmentally-conscious person you can be, you need to throw all of your hair-trimming tools into the recycle bin, and let those eco-friendly tresses grow into a luxuriant shield that envelops your somewhat untoned and perhaps even cellulite-ridden body.

Remember, the more follically-abundant you are, the more people will respect you for all of the hard-work you are doing to keep the environment safe. 

* It’s also a good idea to avoid deodorant and limit bathing to once a month (whether you need it or not)

Most Importantly… Have Fun! 

Remember folks, this is your chance to  let loose and blow off some steam, in a ”non-destructive, save the world” type-fashion that would make our wild and crazy (yet ecologically-mindful) Mother Nature proud.

Now get out there and start being Green!

It’s Wedding Day at the Library today with one of our colleagues getting hitched. Whether it’s a traditional religious ceremony, a themed event or a snap decision on holiday, here’s something that may help you choose what to do if you really want to do that sort of thing:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding

In other news, today is White Cane Safety Day in the USA. This is a day celebrating the achievments of people who are blind or visually impaired:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Cane_Safety_Day

This day is also Global Handwashing Day which seeks to encourage people to wash hands with soap. With all manner of bugs, pandemics and other not-so-nice things running riot at this time of year the advice the website gives may be quite useful:

http://www.globalhandwashingday.org/

Get your paper hats and noisemakers!

You are not-so- cordially invited to a pity party, where I am the guest of dishonour. Please wipe your feet on the mat of despair and hang your coats on the hooks of melodrama. Get comfy, pull up a chair, and I will recount to you my troubles.

 The morning started off in typical fashion, but the normal chaos soon escalated. I overslept, forgot to make lunches, we were out of milk and my gas tank was empty. Little time was able to be devoted to getting ready. Luckily, my youngest child has recently made it his aim to become star of the upcoming  “Howard Hughes – The Later Years” bio-pic, in that he refuses to brush his teeth, wash his face or hands, and insists on wearing the same clothes day after day until they ultimately run from him in fear. Luckily his hair is short and thick, easily hiding the dried Play-Doh within. The struggle to get him into seasonally appropriate, properly fitting outer wear is tantamount to negotiating the Treaty of Versailles.

It was definitely going to be a Yoga pants and knotted pony tail kind of day. The height of my personal grooming was brushing my teeth and cleaning my fingernails with a folded McDonald’s French fry container I found in the van.

Once at school, I discovered I had a midterm exam. While I understand that it would be hard to simply forget about such things, please be aware that my mind has been occupied solving other pressing problems like finding a specific miniscule piece of yellow Lego in order to prevent an nuclear meltdown. I also needed to locate our winter jackets, boots, hats and gloves, since the weatherman said Mother Nature is PMSing and we can be expecting snow soon. I hope it holds off for a few days at least. My lawnmower is still waiting in the middle of my lawn. I left it there in August when it ran out of gas halfway through the job. I think that is why it’s there. Maybe I just got bored.

Because I was late to my first class this morning, I had to take the one vacant seat in the lecture hall. There were audible sounds of pity from the surrounding area, and I realized why after I had been sitting down for only 10 minutes. I won’t go into great detail here;  I think it best to  suggest merely that my desk mate had consumed WAY more turkey than was (digestively speaking) safe to do so, and I was now subject to the ensuing intestinal trauma.

In my next class, I put my laptop down on the table but was unable to release it when class ended. Apparently, the prior tenant of the desk thought it was appropriate to eat a heavily syruped pancake breakfast in class that morning. For breakfast I had done yogourt shooters (forgot a spoon) going 120 km/hr on the Highway en route to school, so when I “accidentally” bumped hard into anyone who smelled like maple syrup today, my anger was SO NOT MISPLACED. 

The day doesn’t get any better.  In my last class of the day I had an assignment returned to me. My mark was much lower than I am happy with. I should mention that I wrote that paper at the height of my feverish sojourn to Sicko-ville last week and hardly remember even writing it. I must have been pretty sick, because when it was returned to me, I noticed it had the circular imprint of a liquid Tylenol cap, along with a blob of Cheez-Whiz in the lower corner, and my last name was spelled without any vowels.

Now as I am writing this at school, all I can smell in the dining hall is boiled hotdogs and anxiety. I am trying to enjoy my cardboard shrouded frozen puck insta-meal in semi-peace. I grabbed it from the freezer this morning without looking. I am have had so much turkey this weekend at assorted dinners that I was looking forward to the reprieve offered by a lasagna Florentine or three cheese ravioli ala Mother Lean Cuisine. Guess what I grabbed? ROAST TURKEY DINNER. Screw it. I’m going to the mall.

I’m back. Even a jumbo Supreme Chili fries from the food court and taking a headfirst dive into the Old Navy clearance rack didn’t make me feel better.  Okay. A little. Although the pants I bought probably won’t fit now. I didn’t try them on at the store. Could you imagine the scene? I envision a naked mannequin flying through the glass plate window, sales clerks cowering behind racks of brightly coloured cardigans, and me  foaming at the mouth and shrieking ”THE TAG SAYS 8! I WEAR AN 8! WHY DON’T THEY FIT? WHY?” That’s when I crumple onto the cold cement floor and hide under a pile of fur-trimmed vests until someone on the security team draws the short straw and has to remove me in a blue plastic shopping cart.

I beg you, tell me about your worst day – but don’t make it too awful – there is little room for empathy today in my shriveled black heart.

I think I’ve written quite often (too often, in fact) about particular faults my kids have and bad phases they have gone through. And I think when ever I bring up my own faults, they are usually parenting based.

I know this may come as a shock to you, but I have many, MANY more faults than my parenting skills.

And here is where I air my dirty laundry.  I’ll keep the list to ten in the interest of time, space, and pride.

1. I am horribly afraid of the dark.  Even in my own house, I have a really hard time walking through at night without turning on every light as I go.
2. Sharing is not one of my favorite things to do…especially when it comes to food and my time. I harp on my kids about sharing with each other in one breath, and then refuse to share my chips in the next. As far as free time goes, I would much rather sit at home and do nothing than…say…volunteer at Jake’s school. I like “me time”.  A lot.
3. Shaving legs is highly overrated, which is why I only do it about once every month or two.  Yeah, I said it.  Two months without shaving my legs.
4. I kissed a married man once.  That was a low point for me.  Seriously not proud of that one. I was so ashamed of myself.
5. I buy candy bars at the grocery and then eat them in the car on the way home.  Then I bury the wrapper in the outside trash can because I’m ashamed.  And also, see #2.
6. When I’m right, I’m right.  And you’re just wrong.  Always.  Even when I’m wrong, I’m right, damn it.
7. I used to pick my nose and eat the boogers.  But that was  a long time ago. I’m burying this one at #7 just in case people have started skimming the post by now.
8. I interrupt everybody.  And then get completely bent out of shape when Dave and the kids interrupt me. Hello, double standard!
9. I don’t do spontaneous.  I don’t do unplanned. I don’t do changes in plans. Any of the above can lead to a surly mommy/wife.
10. I tell the kids it’s wrong to kill bugs (Jacob once ran up to me crying “Emma’s killing NATURE”), but I will squish spiders any chance I get…as long as no one is looking.

How about you?  Are you perfect in every way or do you have a few faults to share of your own?

“We as Muslims believe Jesus came before Mohamed and accepted Jesus as our Prophet but why Islam didn’t come into existence before Mohamed, instead Christianity came into existence as claimed  by Christians, and majority of them still claims that Christianity was founded by Jesus, is that a misconception or what please explain, and if Mohamed was able to spread Islamic principles and establish Islam and convert lot of people as Muslims why not Jesus, was Allah waiting for Mohamed to spread Islam or what”

Bismillah Rahman Raheem

Thank you for writing and for your question. First let us begin with Basics Of Islam [click].

Here are some important points to keep in mind:

1. As Muslims we cannot lie about anything, especially about our religion.

2. We have original recorded sources of our religion:

A) The Quran [click]

B) Teachings of Muhammad [click]

This is a unique part of Islam, not available in any other ancient religions.

3. Sometimes “questions” contain misinformation. We must qualify what it is that someone is saying against what they are implying.

4. If during the answer, you hear yourself saying, “I didn’t know that” or “This is good,” then are you ready to worship your God and your Lord without and partners?

This what Islam is really all about. The most important subject is the worship of Almighty God, without any partners or associates or “gods” besides Almighty God.

You mentioned that you attended the lecture yesterday in Gaithersburg, MD. Yet, it is obvious from your question that you missed the part of the program that was in the PowerPoint presentation.

I would like to offer you the opportunity to read the entire presentation directly from our website:

www.IslamTomorrow.com/word

Islam

And while you are reading, notice that the word “Islam” is explained both as a verb and as a noun. The reason for this is to help the non-Muslims understand that “Islam” has always been there for all of the people since the time of Adam, peace be upon him. This is in the form of the verb, “Islam.” Anyone who “Islams” is therefore, a “Muslim.”

As regards what the prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, brought this is clearly the noun form of the same word, “Islam.” Yet, at the same time we still can understand it as a verb.

The religion of the people who came after their prophets always became named by them in ways that they could divide up themselves and distinguish themselves from other groups. The Muslims have tried to do the same thing even today. The idea of dividing up into different groups is something that Allah forbid us to do in the Quran and it is something that the devil loves to see us do.

Please take time to read our article on this subject at:

www.IslamTomorrow.com/whichgroups.htm

Now let me make my point perfectly clear: ISLAM is the Way of all of the prophets from the first (Adam, peace be upon him) to Muhammad, peace be upon him. They all called the people to submit their free choice that Allah had given them to the Will of Allah. That is what “Islam” is really all about.

When the people begin to corrupt and change the message, they give some name to it that makes it distinct for them. Usually they chose a noun such as a person, place or thing. The examples are many, but let me mention the Hindus, from the nation of Hind, the Jews from the tribe of Judah, the Christians from The Christ, the Buddhists from the name of their Buddha. All of these are “nouns” right? So that is where they took the names.

Islam is from Allah, The Creator and Sustainer of all that exists. As such, it is for Him Alone to command and direct His creation and He Alone is responsible for what He will accept and what He will not accept. It is also for Him Alone to decree what is good and what is bad and He must be the One to show the right path in all things.

Everything in the life of the creations of Allah, especially for those who have choices to make (us), must be dictated and clarified by the One who Created everything in the fist place. We understand from this that Islam must be a complete and total way of living, explaining everything in the life from beginning to end and from birth until death.

Islam is careful to remind us that it not a religion to be paid mere lip service; rather it is an all-encompassing way of life that must be practiced continuously for it to be Islam.

There are other injunctions and commandments which concern virtually all facets of one’s personal, family and civic life. These include such matters as diet, clothing, personal hygiene, interpersonal relations, business ethics, responsibilities towards parents, spouse and children, marriage, divorce and inheritance, civil and criminal law, fighting in defense of Islam, relations with non-Muslims, and so much more.

In conclusion, we are forced to realize that ISLAM is a complete way of life for the human being. Everything is covered in Islam from birth to death to live in the complete submission to the Will of the One Who Created man in the first place.

(Is that detailed enough for you?)

Thanks again for your question. All good is from Allah & mistakes were from myself.
May Allah guide us in Truth, ameen.
Salam alaykum – Yusuf Estes

Source: ShareIslam