Hello all.

Today I went to a class. Then I slept. I woke up feeling awful, but proceeded to put up Christmas lights. I turned off the room lights and turned on the little twinkly bastards. Wot a fine way to spend a few minutes! These suckers flash, sparkle, do the slow fade, and switch colors.

I’m about to do some serious writing. I thought I’d check in with the Internet before I did. This is going to be hard, and it’s going to take a long time. (That sounded dirty, but let’s be mature, guys.) I’m in kind of a funny mood. This paper might turn out horribly. I’ll deal with it.

Getting nothing done in a day can feel great sometimes.

Adiós, muchachos. I’ll be back later with a big post that everyone shall enjoy. Until then . .

Hello, all (one or two people who look at this thing). I’ve been hard at work on a big article that is to be released this week. I’ve spent more time working on it than any homework I’ve had over the past few days, and I’m not even halfway through with this monstrous undertaking.

I just wanted to check back so you guys didn’t think I gave up on this little spot. Never! The next post you see will be awesome and it will give you lots of shopping ideas (if you take anything I have to say seriously). But anyway, that’s about it.

Have a gerrate day.

Am primit de la Lilly următoarea leapșă : vrea sa știe ce obiecte am eu pe birou…Acum însă întreb eu ( către persoana care a inițiat aceasta leapșă) de unde pana unde aceasta curiozitate ? hmm dar ce sa fac… ma supun curiozității.

Acum și în acest moment am pe birou următoarele  :

• sticla de suc
• șervețel
• laptopu ( logic )
• boxele la laptop ( unde răsună muzica, pam pam pam )
• șoricel ( mouse-ul )
• pix ( de la Gemenii, cine știe cunoaște cine si ce este “Gemenii”)
• caiet
• Dvd-writer ( este extern )
• mousepad ( albastru evident )
• o carte de vizita
• lampa de birou
• 1 dvd blank
• mobilul
• suport pahar pt birou

Gataaaaaaaaa, cine vrea leapșa o poate prelua cu încredere !

My friend John has a great blog dedicated to the photography of  Vivian Maier. John is married to my best friend, Drew, and I always get a surge of inspiration when I’m around him. He’s a true entrepreneur and has already written 2 books (The Real Estate Agents Guide to FSBOs & Images of America: Portage Park) and most likely a 3rd is on it’s way. Oh and he takes fabulous photos! The b&w pic on my “about” page was taken by John and it’s one of my favorite candid photos. I was taking my first sip of a lemon drop martini at Buca di Beppo after a tedious round of mini golf when John snapped the pic. Candid photos are my favorite and hanging around with John is like having my own personal paparazzo.

Photo by John Maloof

FYI- the pup in the pic is Winston Maloof (Drew & John’s deer headed chihuahua) and he’s trying to win a Hallmark contest. Please vote for him if you have a second to spare!

Am descoperit ca oboseala poate nu ma opreste din a intreprinde diverse actiuni, dar imi afecteaza neuronul. Nu mai am cheful, imaginatia si vocabularul pentru a scrie posturi noi ori de cate ori as simti nevoia. De bune, de rele, de de toate si de toti. Imi aduc aminte de perlele pe care le debitam pe vremea LDC… Inca pot sa ma “mandresc” cu faptul ca jumatate din vizitatorii mei sunt cei care ajung de pe google cautand e buna tigaia dry cooker? sau aparate fitness top shop. Si sunteti multi. Just to make it clear: NU! )

Si a scrie era modalitatea prin care imi descarcam toti nervii si toate frustrarile pe tastatura. Acum ar fi fix momentul ala in care ar fi trebui sa pun si trei posturi pe zi, ca oricum altceva nu am in ordinea de zi, sa plang si sa ma dau cu curu de pamant, sa tip si sa iau extraverale. Totusi sunt uimitor de calma si impacata. As vrea sa pot lega niste idei coerente despre starea mea actuala… Io insa sunt brainless, dorm pana si in parc pe banca, alerg veverite si fac o “minunata” impresie mandrindu-ma cu sosetele cu degetele si certandu-ma cu mancarea din farfurie care parca fuge de mine. Per total ma port ca un copil tembel. 

As avea totusi nevoie de un concediu. Nu ca sa ma odihnesc, ci ca sa simt ca am timp pentru mine. Mi-ar placea macar pentru o perioada sa nu imi trebuiasca sa dorm, sa am insomnii de care sa ma bucur. Stiu ca suna stupid, dar de ce are ziua doar 24 de ore? 

In aceasta idee… totul trece.

Hopefully I’ll get my hands on Windows 7 this week. Can’t wait to do a reformat on my Windows partition. Actually, I would have reformatted it a long time ago; the only thing is that I don’t have a Vista disk so I wouldn’t have been able to reinstall Windows. But now… Windows 7!

I just played around with a LiveCD of OpenSUSE 11.2, KDE, and fuck it’s awesome! It’s like soooo pretty, and with definitely more functionality out-of-the-box. That said, GNOME is way more intuitive, but whatever; I’m willing to put in a bit of effort to get more out of my computing experience.

I think I’ll do a full installation of Windows 7, then install OpenSUSE alongside it.

There have been a lot of really messy things in my life, things I can’t always explain. Sometimes I feel as though my own heart, my own mind is taking revenge on me. I’ve been relatively lucky, but sometimes it is hard for me to see that. I have an illness-bipolar disorder-that can make me feel as though there were something else inside of me, controlling my thoughts and actions. An ex once told me it was a ‘demon’ or ’spirit’…I would normally say he’s full of shit, and I still think he is, but the truth is that it can sometimes feel as though he is right. He doesn’t understand this, and probably never will. I can read all the self-help books in the world, can spend hours in prayer, do all the things that work for everyone else…but because of my biology, it doesn’t always help. I’ve had some form of depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, but I thought it was just normal pubescent angst or a weakness on my part. As positive and friendly as I usually am, medication has been my saving grace. Surely there is some reason God is allowing me to have all this…but damned if I can figure out what it is sometimes. People give me advice, and I appreciate their concern. There are just some things that people-however well meaning they might be-simply won’t understand until they have been there themselves.

Sometimes, though, I hear something that speaks to me…that tells me, this person knows what’s in my head. This person has ‘been there’…

I love Nine Inch Nails for this very reason…listening to Trent Reznor can be very cathartic. Anyone who writes like this just knows:

Hurt

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real

The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

(Chorus)

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liars chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

(Chorus)

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I will keep myself
I will find a way

Johnny Cash did a cover of this song a while back…his voice just fits so well…

And as if that wasn’t dark enough:

Something I Can Never Have

I still recall the taste of your tears.
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.
Scraping through my head ’till I don’t want to sleep anymore.

[Chorus:]
You make this all go away.
You make this all go away.
I’m down to just one thing.
And I’m starting to scare myself.
You make this all go away.
You make this all go away.
I just want something.
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn’t do the things that I can do now.
This thing is slowly taking me apart.
Grey would be the color if I had a heart.

Come on tell me

[Chorus]

In this place it seems like such a shame.
Though it all looks different now,
I know it’s still the same
Everywhere I look you’re all I see.
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be.

[Chorus]

I just want something I can never have

I’m not quite as dramatic as all that, but it is a strange comfort to me to have this sort of thing to refer to,  if only for inspiration for my own (crappy) writing.

I discovered that 2 of the challenge blogs I have been regularly taking part in have ceased to be this week. Dear Sandy has given up – too much work and a real drain on her time. She has been running them for 2 years though and we all know what a job it is doing the challenges, never mind planning and orchestrating the whole thing, especially when they’re popular, as TGIF and SaWo were. She and the challenges will be missed…

I have been making fabric bookmarks as presents for friends for xmas, painting and designing my own personal xmas card. I finished a large mixed media canvas and am looking for a title or name for it. I shall photograph it tomorrow and ask for your help in the naming of this beast!!

In the meantime, I am quietly disgusted that my DD’s situation continues, along with the daily harrassment by the bullies. I have logged most of it on my other blog and as she turns 15 tomorrow, we’re having a breakfast party with her best GF and chilling.

I veckan dog Tea Anderstig en av mina on line-vänner i en hemsk bilolycka. Vi följde varandra först på Twitter där hennes namn/handle var @just_tea. En kväll i somras började vi sedan prata mer med varandra.  Det blev många DM om något som bekymrade henne just den kvällen. När min syster dog var Tea en av dom som visade omsorg.

På Twitter puffar man på fredagar för följare som man vill rekommendera andra att följa. En dag valde jag att göra det i form av en bloggpost och i den lyfte jag fram Tea med dessa ord:

@just_tea: för värme, närvaro och  nördighet : )

Inte många ord men Tea visste vad de betydde och skrev genast en glad tack-kommentar.

När jag loggade in nästa morgon fanns det dessutom en inlänk från Teas blog. Hon avslutade bloggen några dagar före olyckan men det här var hennes postning:

Tea skrev alltså under rubriken “Som ett gnistrande norrsken….”

…sprider sig ett varmt leende över mitt ansikte. Här sitter jag en vanlig torsdag och surfar runt bland mina favoriter

och så berättar hon vad det betydde att vara med på min lista av 20 twittrare och avslutar med att skriva:

Brit Stakston tycker att JAG är värd att nämnas mitt bland en massa fantastiska twittrare. I en bloggpost hos JMW. Tro mig det är stort. För mig är det enormt stort. Jag kanske inte är ett skämt, jag kanske är någon i alla fall.

Kände värme men också ledsenhet över att Tea ens behövde fundera över om hon var värd något. Vilket jag också skrev i en kommentar – att jag hoppades hon sparkade bort det som fick henne att känna så. Minns hur jag satt där med morgonkaffet i mörkret rörd och stolt över att få vara med i en bloggpost med så vacker rubrik.  Påmind om vikten av att bjuda på uppskattning för det betyder något för andra om vi berättar att vi gillar dem.

Vår konversation flyttade så småningom över mer till Facebook från Twitter. Häromveckan hörde hon av sig och behövde min hemadress. Hon skrev att hon ville skicka något hon så länge tänkt skicka mig – men nu skulle hon göra det. Snart. Svarade att det var lugnt och att  jag trots nyfikenhet hade tålamod och kunde vänta. Nu blev det inte så.

Inser när jag reflekterar över Teas nätnärvaro hur mycket vi kan åstadkomma med lite omtanke. Hur några få vänliga ord som uttrycker uppskattning kan vara så starka. Och att vi därmed borde gödsla med sådana. För vi vet verkligen inget om vad som kommer imorgon.

Ikväll har det varit minnesgudtjänst för Tea och hennes dotter. Det är helt rätt kväll att ägna en extra tanke eller blomma åt Tea, hennes dotter och övriga anhöriga som lider just nu.

Ska vi inte just denna kväll också passa på att berätta för någon i vår omgivning vad de faktiskt betyder för oss.

Och slutligen en alldeles speciell #ff  till dig Tea – du är det gnistrande norrskenet!

/Brit Stakston

“

The holidays this year find many of us in a place we never thought we would ever be in. But we endure. Be thankful for your friends and family and what you have. Don’t dwell on what you don’t have. Love, live and be happy.

Now something to make you smile.

De e durere sau iubire

O inima nu poate sti

Caci oricat rau ar fi

Ea simte doar incredere

Nu e un juramant

Nu poate fi descris

In nici o carte nu e scris

Ceea ce este cel mai sfant

Vorbesc de sentimente

De acelea care le nutresc

Nu doar eu ci si aceia pe care ii cunosc

Cu totii am trait

Sau vom trai candva

Ne amintim cu drag

Ceea ce ma simtit

Vorbesc despre ele

Multi oameni pe pamant

Istoria lor e scrisa-n stele

Si nu se va uita NICICAND.

My Darling Hannah and her adoring husband, James

An old and dear friend just wrote me that — “Gratitude Trumps Adversity” — in an email. She was referring to how thankful we all are that my daughter Hannah just sailed through a very serious emergency surgery with flying colors.

It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Spending time out of state with a friend with Stage IV cancer, almost losing one of my sweet older dogs, and burying one of my dear horses a week before Thanksgiving were but harbingers, I suppose, of even more to come. Sunday found me and my son-in-law rushing my daughter to the emergency room. Three days later finds her in post-op after major surgery to remove a huge hemorrhaging tumor (non-malignant, thank the Lord), and everyone near and far who loves her in an extreme state of gratitude.

I’ve always said that forgiveness is one of the main acts and emotions that can open the heart. It’s not easy to achieve, and one can’t make it happen. It has to come when it’s ready, and it has to come from the heart. When it happens for real, you know it. You can feel it.

Gratitude is a little different, and I think the word “trumps” is perfect to use with it. Gratitude takes precedence. When you are in a state of gratitude so many things become minor. Even when maybe they’re not. It’s like being thankful for the flat tire you had that made you late to work, when, if that hadn’t happened you probably would have been part of the 40-car pile-up on the interstate. Things like that.

We don’t often feel gratitude until “later.” After the fact of something major having happened that could have been much worse. Or after we are able to “see” the truth of a matter. But when it floods in it is such a blessing, and it puts so many things in life in perspective.

I am rolling and reveling in gratitude this week, and it feels wonderful. It is like a natural high. And the gratitude I feel for my daughter’s successful surgery has heightened my feelings of thanks for everything else in my life. I am inspired to take my gratitude and share it, by spreading it around — to donate more of my time, services, and resources to those in need.

Today is Thanksgiving, in the truest sense of the word in our house. There is so much we take for granted. I hope you do not have a life-threatening emergency to remind you of all you have to be thankful for, but do take a moment to count your blessings, and to share them with others in any way you can.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

I have been watching football since Francis Lee and Colin Bell were newcomers in the Manchester City team.

And I can remember the dark days of football hooliganism in the late Sixties, Seventies and Eighties – and of how clueless the authorities were in trying to handle it.

Massive progress has been made since those days – largely as a response to the Hillsborogh disaster and other disasters at Bradford and Heysel.

But you wouldn’t think it, if you had been a fan trying to get into the Santiago-Bernabeu stadium last night for Real Madrid’s Champions League match with FC Zurich.

I went very early, which was just as well because it took a staggering 75 minutes to get into the ground – and it was a frustrating and, at times, frightening ordeal.

A cordon of police refused to let more than a handful of people get through to the access gate at any one time. However, there were hundreds, if not thousands, of fans trying to get through.

As the clocked ticked down towards kick-off those fans grew restless and repeatedly surged towards the cordon. The scene was played out in a funnel shape, with the unlucky souls at the front, next to the police, bearing the full force of the pressure of the mass of fans, and some on the outside edge pushed into a concrete wall.

Eventually I was let through, but then had to face another line of police and club officials refusing to let more than two or three pass them at a time.

I lost count of the number of times the police officer facing me stabbed me in the chest, shouted at me and a couple of times forced me backwards.

It was a throwback to those black years in football and I was amazed a club as professional on the pitch ad Real Madrid was so appallingly amateurish off it.

I admit that the majority of people accessing this part of the ground were very boisterous Zurich fans, but that is no excuse for such poor crowd management, which could have ended in injuries or worse.

Sadly it tainted an experience I had been looking forward to hugely.

On the occasion of Eid al-Adha, I would like to wish all our Muslim brothers and sisters, non-Muslim alike and their families a good health, a good life and a fruitful year ahead for all of us!

Eid Mubarak!

Ever found yourself with multiple storage devices with all your documents scattered across them? What if instead of worrying which thumbdrive your project report is in, you could have everything synchronized in one place? Instead of transfering files via a thumbdrive, you could have those files automatically synchronize themselves between your desktop and notebook.

What if?

Link: Dropbox solves that problem!

… Pardon the cheesy intro. The post above was done as part of my CDS (SiWM); 1 post per week. It’s part of my schoolwork. I figure I might as well link to it through this blog as well.

Madrid’s approach to Christmas is a breath of fresh air compared with Britain’s two-and-a-half month festive orgy.

Back home, the advertising starts in October, along with the special displays in stores.

But other aspects seem to be getting earlier. As a sub-editor, I was disgusted to edit a story about a village’s Christmas gathering – including mulled wine, mince pies and a silver band playing Christmas carols – taking place on November 14.

Here in Madrid there are admittedly lights and giant sculptures in the shape of Christmas trees waiting to be illuminated. But there is nothing like the same, nauseating sales-fuelled advertising drive.

Maybe it’s because in this Catholic country, Christmas means what it is supposed to mean. The Spanish know we are not here to worship good sales figures, but Jesus Christ’s birth.

I think a lot of people back home would actually be surprised to hear Christmas had something to do with Christ.