No!  Don’t go in there!  They’re right behind you!  That’s what she said!  Run, bitch, run!

He has modeled his movie going experience after Statler and Waldorf from The Muppet Show.  Thinking it is his own personal Mystery Science Theater 3000 and he’s sitting front row center between Crow and Servo, he throws up zingers and one liners like the actors in the movie can actually hear him.  Hopefully he’s at a screening of Rocky Horror Picture Show because if not, his “audience participation” will be frowned upon more than when he tries to discretely take that ever so important phone call an hour into the movie.

No, we don’t care if the actor is obviously going to get killed when they walk into the deserted cabin.  It makes sense that they are slowly searching closets on the second floor of the house whose power has been cut when there is a serial killer on the loose.  Of course the scantily clad sorority girl will be able to outrun the killer through the woods and there’s no chance at all that she’ll trip, fall, and twist an ankle.  Really, what could go wrong with midnight skinny dipping in Crystal Lake?

Good morning friends! I see a lot of new readers to the site – welcome! Please don’t be shy to comment or email me! I’m sure today is like a Thursday or Friday to you with the holiday or maybe you’re already off – Happy Day! Today is like Thursday to me with just a few hours of work standing between me and my airplane!

Last night I went to see ‘Precious.’ Have you seen the trailer for it? I’m sure you have. I was expecting to spend most of the movie sobbing (I am highly emotional) but I only cried a few times. It is powerful. It is violent – not for those sensitive to abuse and cursing – but so raw and real. The acting was phenomenal. I know a lot of people refuse to have anything to do with Mariah Carey, but she completely encompassed her character. She was probably only in about 10 minutes of the film. The real stars were Gabourney Sidibe, who plays the title role, and Mo’Nique, who plays her severely abusive mother.

I don’t want to give anything away – but it was very shocking and moving. The whole theater litterally gasped in unison several times. Just go see it.

Edit to add: I just looked at the cast and Lenny Kravtiz is in this, too. Honestly didn’t even notice because I was so wrapped up in the story.

The movie was pretty packed and a bit noisy during the previews. I figured what with all of the “Please Silence Your Cell Phones” PSAs and reminders to be quiet, soon the theater would be just that.

Throughout the entire movie a trio of teenage girls behind us completely ticked me off. Their cell phones were vibrating, they were opening them up causing a glare, they were bickering with each other, rummaging through stuff. And it seemed to be at its peak during some of the most pivotal dialogue exchanges. Buzzzzzzzz Buzzzzzzz Buzzzzzzzz I wanted to turn around and say, “Can’t you put that on SILENT?” I may have said some other choice things under my breath, but that’s irrelevant. I know I am not the only one who gets annoyed with this. But I also know that there are many, many people who contribute to this pet peeve of mine. I love technology just as much as the other guy – probably more – but can we just escape cell phones for 120 minutes??? It baffles me people pay money for an experience only to take away from it to answer text messages. My ex-boyfriend once answered  his cell phone during a movie. Trust me, you don’t want to be the recipient of the look I gave him.

Not quite like this, but I think this picture is hilarious. Photo Credit

OK, stepping off the soap box now!

Now, as well as one more day of work standing between me and my trip, a bigger task awaits – packing! I am being forced told that I must take two carry-on bags rather than check one by my father aka the travel master. This presents a space issue, which I am going to have to tackle tonight. I have gotten better with packing, but it still presents a challenge for a somewhat high maintenance girl.

One thing that will get extra special attention is my fuel and gear for my race! I can’t believe it’s only two days away. Strangely I’m not nervous like I was for the first. I’m pretty much prepped for that – although I debated on what to wear and made two trips to Dick’s looking through every. single. rack. Hopefully the temperature change doesn’t affect me too much.

Something I do need help on is some new tunes to add to my play list! This is where you come in! I am holding a contest – for today only – to add three to five great new songs to my running playlist. Leave a comment with the ones that get you going and the best entry will win an iTunes gift card and a little mail from yours truly! Contest ends at 9 p.m. EST tonight! Right now, I have a lot of rap, r&b, some country and two gospel songs – they are my power ballads!! I am up for anything that has a great beat and gets you moving. Old, new, whatever!!

I’ll announce the winners in my post tomorrow!

I’m on a crusade this week…….

I’m sorry to say that I’m not solving world hunger, or promoting world peace, or fixing our healthcare issues or our unemployment problem.

This week I’m crusading against a far worse enemy —  An enemy that threatens our children and our intelligence and well,  my ears (and your ears too!)

This week I’m creating a public service campaign to address the massacre of the English language.  Or, as my hubby has been calling it, my “one woman war against bad word usage”.

I can’t help but cringe as I watch (or better yet.. listen) to people use words that are truly not words in every day conversation.  I often cringe when I think about how many of these ignorant people are gainfully employed, as I sit here endlessly job searching.  Many of whom do not have a basic understanding of communication or language rules.

I will admit, that I blame the media for a huge portion of this problem.  If newscasters misuse or mispronounce words, it somehow becomes acceptable to reiterate these words in other places.  And, as you may know, since English is a living & breathing language, words are constantly added and/or modified to adjust with our developing culture.  And therein lies the problem. People misuse a word, and our language evolves in a way that adds this incorrect usage of the word to some sort of urban use dictionary.  Then… tragedy of all tragedies is the day when other people use this dictionary addition to back-up their misuse of the word and……. all of a sudden there’s verbal anarchy.

So today, good people of the internet, for better or worse, I’m going to share with you some of the words that I find to be the MOST offensive as I feel they truly butcher an otherwise wonderful language (and, bear in mind, I’m referring to the American English language.. as I know there are variations with British English)

I don’t claim to be a wordsmith or a linguist but I do think I can hold my own in a conversation and I DO have a general grasp on words that are either blatantly incorrect or that have undergone a massive evolution into something so different from what was originally intended (in my opinion)

So.. .let’s begin.

STUPIDER – Quite simply stated… this is not a word.  And, if you use the word stupider, there are few people who are more stupid than you.

IRREGARDLESS – Ever hear of a double negative?  The prefix ir- (i-r) is a negative prefix, so if you add the prefix ir to a word that’s already negative like regardless, you’re making a double-negative word that literally means “without without regard.”.   Makes sense?  I bet not, you’ll still probably use this word regardless of my explanation.

FUNNER – Another simple and basic word that’s ruined!  Something cannot be funner… it can be more fun, it can be the most fun you’ve ever had but it cannot be funner.

FREER – Much like above.  The standard usage would be that you are more free. Conversely, Abe Lincoln might be known as a freer of slaves (one that frees, especially a liberator or emancipator)

HARASSMENT – When did the American pronunciation jump the Altantic to British English?  I can remember many years ago hearing a change in accent by a newscaster and then all of a sudden it went from Har-ASS-ment to HAR-ass-ment?

COMPARABLE – Much like above…. when did this pronunciation go from COM-par-able to com-PAR-a-ble?

ORIENTATED – Oh boy, this one crawls right under my skin.  The correct word is oriented…. Please, please, please leave out that extra syllable!

I have heard these mistakes everywhere.  Not just in every-day conversations but on the news, in written books, on commercials.  I just find it incredibly sad that, as a society, we’ve learned to lower our standards.  So go forth, my dear blog readers, and correct your friends, post on facebook, send out a Tweet…. Join me on my crusade today… to make the world a better place (at least the English speaking part of it!)

You’ll notice I didn’t even begin to dive into the your & you’re issues or the their, they’re, their challenges (or the many others)… because I believe these can be honest mistakes.  Whereas, with some of my other examples, people will literally argue that the words they are using are indeed correct!

And… I’m sure I’ve missed a ton of examples… feel free to share your biggest pet peeve below!

Ok so the previous pet peeve post was a hit that in honor of entering the holiday season, I thought we would get more specific.

• The obscene amount of articles about staying thin for the holidays and weight loss tips for the holiday, learn self control people other wise get over it and be fat!
• Budget holiday shopping ideas.  They always suck!
• People who complain about things that are totally optional like Christmas shopping, do it online then.  Shut up negativity is toxic!
• Everyone talking about holiday stress, guess what folks life is stressful, so figure out how to deal with it all year.
• People who complain about hearing Merry Christmas.  It’s the thought people I like to hear Happy Chanukah too.  No one is being malicious so shut up!
• People who forget the most amazing part of the holidays, a few moments where we all get to be kids.  We get to slow down and enjoy our families that’s the whole point stop trying to ruin it!

Ok kids, what are your biggest holiday pet peeves.

“Is it as rosy as what has been painted in the media – that (the reserves) can last 40-odd years – or is it as tragic as the 3 years that has been presented (by the NKF)? The truth is that it could be somewhere in the middle,” pondered Mr Khaw Boon Wan on 15 July 2005.  The Health Minister was commenting on the court room revelations during the height of the NKF versus SPH defamation trial that the National Kidney Foundation (NKF) had squirreled $206.2 million in reserves meant for dialysis use.

Fast forward to today.  The National Kidney Foundation (NKF) plans to dip into its reserves of about $270 million to “keep its commitments to Singaporeans suffering from kidney failure”.  The measure is being considered after the charity suffered one of its worst financial results in years, its chairman Gerald Ee informed the Sunday Times, Nov 21, 2009.

We are told by Mr Ee that donations fell by 26 per cent to $18.5 million last year. Investment income slipped 97.5 per cent to $80,000. Note reserves went up from $206.2 to $270 million in 4 years.  Note also, even with a pathetic fixed deposit interest rate of, say 1 percent, $270 million would yield “investment income” of $2.7 million. So what’s with the $80,000 figure? Surely they can’t blame it on a leaking Golden Tap. More likely, it’s a regurgitation of another sad tale of the Town Councils genre, where serious public money was burnt on toxic investments.

Former CEO TT Durai, hardly an icon of probity, was castigated for his $600,000 salary, which may be “peanuts” to Mrs Goh Chok Tong (nee Tan Choo Leng), but outlandish to the 2 out of every 3 Singaporeans who used to donate to the charity.  NKF’s bread and butter then was the $3 to $5 monthly Giro donations from about one million ordinary Singaporeans.  Those who are privy to the take-home pay of new NKF CEO Eunice Tay, appointed 15 May 2006, will probably admit she is not exactly paid peanuts either. Given the FY2008 results, financial management expertise can’t be her forte. So the justification for her paycheck has to fall back to the quantum of reserves she is baby-sitting, a corollary of how some ministers peg their wallet size to the country’s GDP.  If only Mother Teresa had applied to for TT Durai’s old job.

Meanwhile, some members of the public continue to vote with their cheque books:

“On one hand, they keep asking the public for more and more money each year to break the record of last, when they can’t reach the target, they blame the public for not giving their full support and act generously. Why are they keep asking for more? Why don’t just ask for what they needed? What are they trying to proof? To receive a medal from the President?

On the other hand, they exercised poor control on usage of public donated funds, they are not financial prudent; high expenses with clarity issue, high salary and big bonuses for the committee; when money not enough, just ask again from the public…

Personally, I had stop all forms of donations, owning to the fact the lack of clarity that my donated money being used properly.”

Getting pang-sehed with no explanation or warning prior.

There won’t be a next, I promise you that.

For the most part, I don’t mind my job at Blockbuster. I get to rent movies for free, get to watch new movies a week early, and I can buy movies (which I’ve loved to do ever since DVDs were invented) at a discounted price. I even like being around most of my co-workers. I also don’t have to do too much work and I have almost no responsibility beyond helping customers. Suffice it to say it’s a pretty easy job. But as with everything in life, it comes with its fair share of pet peeves. Many of these can probably be extended to other retail outlets as well. So maybe we’ll bond over our apathy toward customers. Feel free to vent about your job in the comment section below.

6.) I hate when customers don’t realize that they need an account to rent movies. I ask them for their Blockbuster card and they look at me and say some variation of, “Duh, I don’t need an account to rent do I?” Yes, idiot, you do. How else can we make sure you bring back our movie?

5.) I hate when customers know that they need an account and act like I’m the idiot for not recognizing that. This time when I ask for their Blockbuster card they look at me and and shrug with a hint of attitude say, “I need an account!” Half the time these fools actually do have an account from another store, despite the fact that we always ask them that question first. “No no. I’ve never had any account at any Blockbuster store ever. Never ever. Ever.” Really, dumbass? The computer says otherwise.

4.) I hate when customers bitch about late fees. Apparently at some point in time Blockbuster promoted the idea that they didn’t charge late fees. And obviously the company realized how stupid that was and ended it years ago. But we still get people who are shocked to find out that they have to pay for a movie they rented two months ago. “Duh, but that one Blockbuster commercial said you don’t charge late fees.” Bring back your movie when we tell you to and you won’t have to worry about that. And here’s the thing, they can bring the movie back seven days late and still not get charged. They can bring it back within a month and what was charged to their credit card will be refunded except for a $1.33 restocking fee. It’s all written on their receipt but do people pay attention? No. They don’t.

3.) I hate when customers get upset at us if we’ve run out of a certain movie. This happens a lot when a movie’s just been released as everyone rushes out that weekend to rent it. Sometimes customers think we owe them a movie or we need to pull a copy of this one out of our asses and hand it to them. Once, when Paul fucking Blart came out, a customer brought up a retail copy and told us to turn it into a rental copy. I’ll give it to him that it might seem like an easy thing to do to someone who hasn’t worked in a rental store before, but the two types of DVDs don’t even come in the same type of boxes. The rental boxes are bulkier and have a hole in the bottom so that we can lock them when they’re out on the shelf. The retail copies are your standard DVD box but are typically locked in a slightly larger plastic case which is also locked (like you’ll see for video games at various stores) so that they aren’t stolen. Some idiots bring up these retail copies with the huge ass cases in tow and still think they’re renting it. “Duh, no I don’t want to buy it. What do you mean this isn’t a rental copy?”

2.) I hate when customers complain about our prices and tell us how great Netflix and Redbox are. If you prefer renting your movies through those services, do so. Don’t come to our store, pick out a movie, and then complain when you pay. We’ve heard it before and still don’t give a shit.

1.) I hate when customers don’t respond when I tell them to have a nice day. This one really irks me for some reason, and it bothered me at my one and only previous short-lived job at Old Navy as well. It especially bugs me if I’ve gone out of my way to help a customer. Maybe I signed them up for an account, maybe they were looking for a specific movie and I went and grabbed it for them. Maybe I told them not to bother with one movie and recommended something better. I dunno. I don’t care so much if they ignore me (and most do) when I say hello to them when they walk in the store. And I don’t even need them to wish me a good day in response. They don’t have to say thank you even. They can smile. They can nod their head. But the ones who just grab their DVDs and walk away without making a single sound or gesture can go suck it. It’s always a sigh of relief to see a regular, frequent customer come in because they actually seem to have some appreciation for our work.

-Michael

Bringing people together is always a nice thing. It makes me happy to know that the people I love can co-exist in harmony.

But one pet peeve about that is how sometimes, when you bring two newly acquainted people together, they often gang up against you to cement that fresh bond. And while it is acceptable and tolerable for some time, it more often is rather frustrating to know that you’re being shelved and ostracized against just so there’s something the bond can thrive on, or against.

That’s when I am convinced that some friendships are not as solid as I’d believed.

Οι άνθρωποι που διατηρούν μια υποτυπώδη σχέση μαζί σου μέχρι να έρθει η “σωστή” ώρα όπου και προδίδουν την εμπιστοσύνη σου, εκθέτοντάς σε με τον χειρότερο δυνατό τρόπο.

Well, SCREW YOU MOTHERFUCKER! >.<

It’s coming in here and here, but not so much here, here, and here.  Should we tell him that it’s not quite as full and luxurious as he believes?  Maybe that moustache comb as a gift is a little premature.  By the way, Johnny Depp called and he wants his facial hair back.

“Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren’t really that big of a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion.” -Author Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

The words of Richard Carlson can evoke groans of reluctant agreement. Yes, we shouldn’t “sweat the small stuff” and “it’s all small stuff”– yet we are all susceptible to those little insignificant annoyances. You know, the thing your roommate does that makes you want drop-kick them off a balcony. And forget trying to bring it up- tactfully or not- it will unfailingly make them do it more boldly and more frequently. The more conscientious, or perhaps just pretentious, among us pretend not to have pet peeves, but we are all unjustifiably irritated at some point. Instead of trying to pretend that our pet peeves are insignificant, we should bring them into the light and wave the peeve flag proudly. I’m not advocating blatant recalcitrance, but pet peeves have been wrongly labeled as triflin’ matters. In an attempt to normalize pet peeves, I’ve included a list of mine. I realize this will open myself up to those who find it funny to purposefully aggravate me (hmmm this is strangely remeniscent of the “Five Texts You Should Never Send” blog– after which I got massive amounts of “Are you mad at me?” texts, closely followed by “You there?”). I’m going to proceed, however, because someone has to take that first step. To be fair, I’ve included a list of things I do to annoy other people, just to show that no one is perfect.

The List:

1. On the top of the list, is people who chew loudly. It’s not petty when it incites violence. I had a very intense moment with some guy who tried to finish a bag of corn nuts during a test. Fortunately he put the bag down before the situation escalated.
2. People who find out that I hate people who chew loudly and decide to become that person.
3. People who refer to God as “that big guy in the sky”, “the man upstairs”, or any other variation that could also be used to describe a peeping-tom.
4. People who literally pause for your laughter, forcing you to either A.) look like a jerk or B.) use precious energy trying to conjure up a realistic sounding laugh.
5. People who say “That is SO funny” instead of actually laughing. If it compliments a genuine laugh, that’s one thing, but if it is used in place of a laugh–we have a problem. Like, was it really funny? Because if it was, I feel like you would have laughed. But you didn’t. At all. It’s the equivalent of saying “I know you can’t see it on my face, or in the tone of my voice, but I am so amused right now. Take my word for it”. (These people can be sympathized with if they are with “pausers” for an extended period of time.)
6. People who tell you you look tired. I wasn’t. I just didn’t shower. Why do I look scary? Because now I feel scary-looking. If you have a pillow and a bottle of valium, go ahead and ask me if I’m feeling tired- because you came with a solution. If not, then assume I’m perfectly rested.
7. People who will bypass the 6 open stalls in the bathroom and take the one RIGHT next to you.
8. People who judge you for using the courtesy-flush approach. I’m sorry I wasted water flushing when I didn’t need to because I had stage-fright and didn’t want to spend 23 minutes waiting for the girl fixing her hair to leave. I hope mother nature can forgive me.
9. People who clank the utensil on the bottom of the dish so they can scrape up a microscopic amount of whatever they used to be eating. Just lick the plate. Quietly.

Things I do to trigger other people’s compulsions:

1. Put back the container with one sip/bite left. Yep. I’m that person. And um…technically, there is still some left…and you finished it… so you have to throw it away. . .
2. Spend the night at your house and don’t bring anything with me. Can I borrow your pajamas? toothpaste? hairbrush? shampoo? … toothbrush? Yeah. Toothbrush.
3. Speed up when I see you trying to get over, then immediately slow down when you get behind me. I KNOW! But is so funny to watch the reaction in my rearview. I once played this game for a good 10 miles, much to the horror of my passengers.
4. Use profuse “lol”’s while texting. Those of us who are not elitists, realize that just because you didn’t actually laugh out loud, doesn’t mean you can’t use it. A well placed “lol” really adds a level of friendliness, and smoothes the conversation along. Example:

“I think you’re a dirty communist…lol”

5. Use texting language in real conversations, even if it is more invoncenient or is nonsensical.             Example:

>“Hey guys I need to answer this call, brb”
>> “ARG! don’t use texting language in a real conversation!”
>“My bad…lol”

**old people note: “brb” = be right back

This list serves to remind us all that pet peeves are just part of who we are– a part of our unique makeup. So friends, the next time someone clacks noisily on their keyboard, taking breaks only to slurp up giant swigs of coffee from a never ending cup, don’t suppress your instincts to politely remind them that they are dangerously raising your blood pressure and need to stop immediately. I think if Richard Carlson ever heard how loud they were being he would sweat, profusely.

You and your friends decided to switch it up a little and not go to your regular hangout.  Instead, someone suggested going out to the local bar with a DJ and dance floor.  Sounds good everyone thinks; however, little did they know those were famous last words.  You arrive, get a lay of the place, and head over to the bar for the first round of drinks.  After the third round, the women in your group are swaying to the beat and singing along to the chorus of the music playing.  As anyone knows when you’re out with girls in a club, those are two of the universal signs that it’s time to move out to the dance floor before someone tries to get up and dance on the table or a chair.  Preemptively cutting off a scene with a bouncer or having someone crumpled up in a ball on the floor with a twisted ankle, everyone picks up their drinks and heads to a nice looking spot on the dance floor.  You’re feeling the song and have just enough liquid courage to be coordinated and look pretty good out there.  Things are going well and everyone is having a great time until you notice him dancing alone behind one of the girls in the group.  He didn’t come with you, no one seems to know him, and no one invited him over to dance with you guys.  So the question on everyone’s mind is who exactly is he?  In case you haven’t figured it out – spoiler alert – he’s the creepy old guy at the club.

We’ve all encountered him on a night out with friends.  Similar to the guy who pops into other people’s photographs, he’s the guy who creeps around in the shadows of the club only to emerge at opportune times when he can slither onto the floor and dance with unsuspecting ladies.  Materializing on 80s Night or other events that cater to women such as “Ladies Night” or half-priced martini drink specials, he always appears to be the one club goer who is out of place.  Wearing a Member’s Only windbreaker, “mom jeans”, and sensible sneakers, he hangs out on the sidelines until he locks on to an unsuspecting target.  Doing what can only be described as an awkward shuffle and head bob, he slowly moves towards circles of friends, and especially women, on the dance floor.  Careful not to draw attention to himself, he doesn’t directly ask anyone to dance.  He tries to remain inconspicuous while dancing behind and alongside women preoccupied with their friends and having a good time.  But if he is ever caught or levied nasty glances by the group, he sheepishly dance-shuffles back to the shadows to stalk his next target.

You almost feel sorry for him – the key word being almost.  Hey, he’s got a pretty good life.  He’s got his own efficiency apartment with a futon, a sweet black light, a terrarium with a pet snake, and his own mini-fridge well stocked with Hot Pockets.  He drives a 1987 Toyota Corolla in near average condition.  He’s got a good job as a telemarketer for a male-enhancement supplement company.  And he’s got the entire box set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer for his viewing pleasure.  This tiny dancer is certainly living the high life so please don’t pity him and his club behavior.

You son of a bitch.  You would, wouldn’t you.  This isn’t the Mushroom Kingdom and you certainly aren’t Mario so put away all your dirty gold coins.  Not cool dude, not cool at all.

Welcome to the first of my weekly post about trucking. These post are not going be just the news that you can read in a trucking paper. I’m going to lay it out of how I see truckers and other things that are happening in the industry. You comments are welcome and I will approve all comments unless you use bad language or you intend to cause harm to some other party. Now on with this week’s edition of Trucker Tuesday.

Pet Peeve #1

I have lots of pet peeves that I see other drivers doing or not doing and the first one on my list is parking illegally when there is plenty of parking. I went into a Love’s in VA last week and the place was a mad house. Drivers parked along the curve, in front of the fuel islands. When I finally got around them I saw plenty of parking spaces. After I got fuel, I tried pulling around to park but the incoming traffic wouldn’t let me “break line”. While waiting there, I saw a driver pull up and then she tried going around all of the blocked traffic. I guess she was in a hurry.

Funny Thing Happened

After getting pulled into my parking space, I went inside to take a shower. I asked them to put my name on the list. I told her my name and she said I was already on there. I said, “That’s not me.” So I have her my last initial. I got out of the way and told the other driver waiting that there wass already a Jeremy on the list and he said, “That’s me.” We talked for couple minutes and they called him, “Jeremy #1″. I guess that makes me “Jeremy #2″.

Thanks for stopping

Thanks for stopping by and hope you will be next week for another edition of Trucker Tuesday.

So it is my last night/morning of work at this goshforsaken hotel/motel and I stumbled upon hilarity. Dontevenreply.com. For those of you who don’t know it’s about an asshole writing e-mails in response to ads that just sound RiDONKulous. One ad was like ‘ does anyone of the shingles or chicken pox so we can meet and expose them to my children?’ Needless to say he does an awesome asshole thing with this crazy broad. As I sit here, drunk on Diet Arizona Lemon Tea, I am watching all the people come in and out of this hotel. Now mind you guys it is 6:30 in the morning so the quality of people is very strange. They are mostly construction workers hacking many o’ lungs.  One big pet peeve: lung hackage. Some are friendly but most are douchers with nothing better to do than fuck with the girl behind the counter.  So,anyway, I’m waiting for seven a.m. so I can have breakfast with my square. Yes, it’s probably going to be an array of unhealthy things such as pancakes and butter but damn it you can’t just quit cold turkey and it is a celebration of my last day at this place. I’m gonna ween off the hard stuff like Wendy’s and Mickey D’s for breakfast, I swear. I have all you bloggers to keep up with my journey. I am telling you I am going to Vegas early next year and there is no FUCKING way I am spending extra money for an extra ticket to cover my fat ass. Ever seen the movie Why Did I Get Married? Yeah, they made the lady pay for an extra seat due to her weight. No. Nah uh. I WILL not be that heifer. That is sooo degrading. So let me enjoy my fatty fat last breakfast and then I’ll crack down with salads, small portions, and broiled chicken and all that mess.

• When signing up for a Mingler and answering what sexual orientation you are, don’t type “hedero.”
• When at the gym, don’t go up to a sweaty girl in spandex and say “Hey, I’ve been watching you on the stairclimber.”
• When at a coffeehouse, don’t whisper-read.  Words should be read silently.
• When you go to someone’s house, don’t close the roof-top deck door behind you without checking first if it’ll lock.
• When you wear jeans, don’t wear a denim jacket.  Denim should be worn on the top OR the bottom.
• When you bring cocktail wieners to a party, don’t assume the host will have ketchup and mustard.
• When you’re invited to something, RSVP.  In a timely manner.
• When sitting within five feet of someone, don’t keep looking up and staring at him/her, thinking that because he/she is looking at a laptop screen that he/she can’t feel your nasty eyeballs.
• When in a public place and sitting in close proximity to others, don’t eat smelly food.  Or chew loudly.

I don’t truly have but maybe two. Out of all the people I interact with, at the end of the day, only two of them are my friends. One of those people I happen to be in love with. So I only have one platonic friend. Should I be ashamed? Is there something wrong with me? Naaaah. I doubt that. I’ve come to the conclusion that I personally am a loner. It’s just meant to be that way. I’ve gone through so many terrible friends its actually crazy. I’ve had friends that…

!-talk shit about me behind my back. and then when addressed try to downplay it

!-friends that lie

!-friends that steal

!-friends that HATE when ppl touch they stuff or eat up their food but do the SAME shit to you.

!-borrow money and NEVER pay it back

!-borrow clothes and never give it back

!-are overly possesive

!-don’t remember all the good things you do.

!-are jealous

!-get all “vagina like” and get mad but dont wanna tell you why

and so much more that I honestly cannot remember right now.

The point is, i seem to attract these types of people. Maybe i have bad traits and its a reflection of me. Or maybe its just that i’m so chill and i wait too long to address wrong doings. But i just feel like i set the example by how i treat you. if i treat you well you should do the same. There are certain things i would never do to a friend that have been done to me its surprising yet hurtful. Since i don’t care to truly address it i just end up leaving the situation and eventually them alone. Let somebody else fix you, its not my job. I don’t have the energy for it. At the end of the day. Being alone is usually best. I just want female friends to stunt in the club with. Call me superficial but at this point in my life that’s all they good for.

I hope this shows up the way it does in my blog uploader.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a picture of the whole rainbow together, so I had to take a pic of each side, and you can imagine the middle.  It was so amazing to see a full rainbow…you know, you usually just see a little streak of one, or maybe even half of one, but to see the entire rainbow across the sky…it’s just really cool.  I was glad I got the pic when I did…as soon as Joey and I came back outside, it was gone.

So, I went to the Southern Christmas Show yesterday…got some novelty socks and some flavored coffee and sore feet, but that was about it.  Mom got some really pretty jewelry, though.  And, of course, nothing says “Christmas” like hoardes of rude people, pushing you out of the way and running over your feet with their giant double strollers for their screaming children.  We had a wheelchair for Mom, just because her leg tires out quickly due to her back issue, and I was totally amazed by the amount of people who would push in front of us so they wouldn’t have to be behind the wheelchair.  I wasn’t even going slowly…geez.  Anyway, after having had my Christmas spirit roundly squashed, we left a few dollars poorer.  I did get my spirit back today, though, after listening to the Trans Siberian Orchestra CD that my mom got and didn’t like.  MAN, I wish our Church would do something like what they do next year…a fusion of our orchestra and our band from The Lift…it would be freaking awesome!

It wasn’t a totally terrible week-in-food, although I can probably pretty safely say that I managed to get derailed about once a day, which sucked.

This was my lunch one day…just fresh broccoli, green peppers, cabbage, and some roasted red pepper hummus.  I made that hummus last most of the workweek (after having a little on Sunday at lunch).

There were oats:

Of the chocolate peanut butter variety…this had just a spoon of unsweetened cocoa powder and some natural Jif PB.

And, of course:

Oats-in-the-jar ala Heather.  There really wasn’t enough PB left to try to scrape out to take with me to work, so I just tossed my dry oats in the PB jar and added a little hot water and let them soak for a while at the office…then, a breakfast of PB goodness:).

Also, I ate copious amounts of leftover chili:

I have to say, I did a good job with this chili, seriously.  I just did two cans of each pintos, red beans, black beans, and ro-tel, a 28 oz can of crushed tomatoes, half a can of corn, 2 diced onions, and handful after handful of chili powder, cumin, and garlic, and a splash of honey.  I would have made it spicier, but we were having a friend over who doesn’t do very well with spicy food.

I have GOT to get my relationship with food under control…I don’t even know how or where to begin, really..it’s just so overwhelming, after years and years of food being comfort to try to think of food as fuel.  And, since I’m such an emotional person anyway, and someone who needs a constant feeling of security, I find myself looking for comfort in food way too often.

What are your methods for making sense of the mind/body connection in regards to food??

Sometimes I think I was born missing some gene that understands the culture in which we live. There are just so many things I don’t get. Now please understand I’m not here to be rude or offend anyone, I just genuinely wonder about this stuff all the time. I list my questions in order of how often they come to me on any given day.

1) I don’t get why women dress up their lips to resemble the nether regions of an orangutan in heat. You know – red and puffy. Well of course it resembles other nether regions in full flush but orangutans are the only ones that expose it in public. We generally keep that very private. I’m sure it’s representation on the face IS very attractive to some but I would tone it down for a trip to the zoo. Or to a bar. Or to the grocery store…

2) Not that I’m pro slavery or anything but I don’t get why it is so much better to work at a job to earn just enough to get deeply in debt than it is to be housed and fed for your work. Yes we call it being a wage slave but I don’t think many take it all that seriously. Still, most people feel shackled to jobs, with no particular fulfillment feature, as if they had no choice. Why do people allow others to own their time? Time doesn’t equal money, it equals LIFE. There are choices – why is it so few make conscious choices about their time?

3) The answer to that question may have to do with another whole conundrum. What’s the deal with keeping up with the Joanses? Take a look at the Joneses! If all you see is glossy grooming and toys, that may be all there is! What’s the deal with that? Seems to me that if you have to flaunt it you are probably waving a flag to divert attention from the VOID you are feeling. But I could be wrong. Probably a perfectly good reason for ALL this stuff that I just don’t get.

4) I don’t get why so many people over a certain age – lets say 50 – still have issues with their upbringing. I don’t care what happened, get over it. I’ve heard a bunch of stories and frankly my dear… There must be many things out there that are far more interesting to think about.

5) Remember the old joke – “My hands are cold and nobody loves me!” And the answer, “Sit on your hands God loves you.” Remember that? I don’t get why people don’t get that! If your hands are cold do something practical – like sitting on them – and as for love you are swimming in a sea of love, the only way you can avoid seeing it is to be busy looking to people and THINGS for that which is right there along with the air you breathe. How is that so difficult to get? I don’t get it.

6) High heels – Expect it is related to #1 & 5

7) Diamonds! Good God. Never mind that people are dieing for them – as in actually being slaughtered – where did that whole thing about diamonds being so bloody (pun intended) precious come from anyway. Probably related to #’s 1-5-6. I think I’m starting to get it! I suppose #’s 2 & 3 are the male equivalent of women’s #’s 1 & 5. Yes a pattern is emerging as the song, “Looking for Love in ALL the Wrong Places”. #4 is just plain pitiful. The poor me card – well I guess it does still work. Probably far more relationships start with bonding over shared wounds than over shared joy.

Oh dear. I’ve lost my stomach for this project now that I have found the thread of the matter. I get it now. Well. Now I can stop saying I JUST DON’T GET IT. I so didn’t expect that when I started this post. Always a surprise inside – not always pleasant.

It’s a our first cold beautiful day. I’m going for a walk now. Have a beautiful Sunday.

It really bothers me when people use words that they don’t understand. I won’t pretend that I have the best grasp of the English language and all of its grammatical nonsenicalities, but I do know when certain text messages piss me off to the point of physical retribution. Here are the two that make me want to kick people in the throat.

Their when they mean They’re

Your when they mean You’re

If you don’t understand what the fuck I’m talking about, get out of my life immediately. I hate you very much and you’re a drain on my already limited intellect.

p.s. you’re means “you are” minus the a and add an apostrophe. Asshole. Or should I say, ’sshole.

This weekend sucks. Friday started off horrible as I volunteered to help with the RA selection process. Little did I know that not only were the interviewees were to dress up in business casual but so was I. The one helping with the interview process. Other than be underdress to help out with RA selection, I also ended up not having enough sleep from the night before as I’ve dedicated this entire week almost to trying to keep Jen up past her bedtime. Too bad my idea to keep her up past her bedtime made me even more tired than usual, win: not me. The worse keeps on going, to make this weekend just as bad a former RA was kicked out of her apartment; where does she go to crash for the night: my place. Too bad the rules state no cohabitation. Anyways she ended up keeping me up till almost two when I was trying to get to sleep by 10:30 so I could wake up early and be awake for bobcat day. Yeah that last part didn’t happen. Let’s just skip the whole bobcat day part, as bobcat day just sucks overall (non-stop tours). So yea I feel like this weekend sucks and continues to suck horribly. Hopefully tomorrow is better, might as well keep a smile on my face and look at the brighter side. 8D