I am buying a fucking egg genie.

I don’t even know what this thing does.  If I had to guess…i’d say it allows you to grow baby chicks from everyday store bought eggs.  

But that’s not the reason to buy it…the reason is that you also get the Bacon Wake….nice play on words…i feel like pot heads everywhere will buy this the second they hear the name…as long as they get the energy to reach into their pocket for their phone.  It just basically lets you make bacon in the microwave.

Is there more…of corse there’s more you fucking moron.  The Magic Chop!  Its the same thing as the Slap Chop but it is significantly less able to defend you from prostitutes.

This product IS Eggsactly what i’m looking for!

So after starting speaking the praise of the egg genie i decided to watch this full commercial…the one i posted here doesn’t include the magic chop like the one on TV does.  I’m ok with the Egg Genie…but I like how they try to tell you a great feature is the loud blaring alarm telling you your eggs are ready.  ”Scare the shit out of your kids and family when they run for their lives when the eggs are ready.”  Then it just shows the dad shaking his head after he yelled fire and his whole family runs through the front door.  ”Now i can finally have my eggs!”  says dad and then it fades to black.  

Although this system is a bit annoying…wouldn’t it be great for couples trying to get pregnant….

“are you tired of the tricky rhythm method!?!?” (shows a couple fumbling over a calendar…and throwing it across the room)

“are you actually gay…a vagina disgusts you so you want to limit sex needed to have a child?”  (shows a gay guy poking at a vagina saying ICK!)

“is your partner awful at sex so you need the highest success rate possible?”  (girl yawning whilst banging)

WELL DO WE HAVE THE PRODUCT FOR YOU!

Eggs Ovary Easy!!!  Never miss the fertile period of the month with Eggs Ovary Easy!!!  (name would be trademarked with the exclamation marks). Eggs Ovary Easy!!! nestles comfortably in the vagina and gives you a gentle reminder when its time to fuck!  (then it shows the air raid siren sounding and the couple rushes up to the bedroom).  

Eggs Ovary Easy!!! extending the life of otherwised doomed relationships with the glorious gift of a child.

…Fucking pay me.

NEXT!

PETA is claiming that turkeys are tortured around thanksgiving.  I envision PETA members called to a meeting where they have elementary school artistic skills which they have used to render this house of horrors for turkeys.  Where they are put on “the rack” and have their feathers pulled one by one before being forced to pick which one of their turkey family members is the next to go…because we all know torture makes turkey taste better.

Yeah..fuck you PETA..I doubt Purdue sounds the alarm, and stops the assembly line because a turkey may have been about to be slaughtered before significant amounts of torture were endured..and then Will Purdue (not the owner of Purdue chicken…Will Purdue the ex-NBA player) dons his executioner hood and tortures the skipped turkey before resuming operations. Shut up PETA…I’m gonna donate a bunch of BOCA burgers to you fairies and it will be frozen Veal patties and you’ll all off yourselves after accidently ingesting them.

NEXT!

Obama just went over to China to talk about internet censorship but now Goggle has pulled a racist image of Michelle Obama off the internet?  Hmm…sounds a little hypocritical.  I think it would say a TON if he publicly rejected the fact that it had been pulled.  Though…it probably wouldn’t win much points with Segourney (those that follow my blog already know that Michelle Obama is black Sigourney Weaver)

NEXT!

Adam Lambert is a copy cat…He’s copied Janet and Justin,  as well as Brittney and Madonna by engaging in an act to solely create publicity…and guess what that shit worked again.  And now he’s copying Charles Barkley (His famous “I’m not a role model commercial”)?  ”I’m a performer…not a babysitter”  we’ll see..lets not get ahead of ourselves here…i give you about a year…and you will in fact be a babysitter.  Though, you might be a decent one…teaching young girls how to pull off the “smoky” makeup look.

NEXT!

fucking bed time…another long day at work…followed by lack of sleep…followed by long day at work….

But on a happier note….HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE!

If you shoot a cyclist in the head, how many days in jail are you looking at in North Carolina? 120 days. This is outrageous!

In Africa, a bicycle is not just a bicycle. It can be used as a school bus, a water van, and even an ambulance.  Cadbury (a chocolate company apparently) is donating 5000 bicycles to Ghana, Africa. Really cool 1 minute Youtube video.

And count on PETA to make a fuss about Thanksgiving.

In personal news: On the 30th of this month I get my first paycheck. It won’t be anything grand, but, it is a start for my savings (and better eating — hopefully).

.cousin reginald catches the thanksgiving turkey painted by norman rockwell.

.thanksgiving day, nov. 28, 1986 read by william s. burroughs directed by gus van sant.

.rayman raving rabbids bunnies very useful scientific facts : bunnies can’t cook turkey spot.

.the thanksgiving visitor written and narrated by truman capote starring geraldine page and michaeal kearney.adapted for sell-a-vision by eleanor perry with capote.directed by frank perry.

.joaquin phoenix thanksgiving peta ad reminds us holidays can be murder on turkeys.

.johnny cash sings thanksgiving prayer on dr. quinn, medicine woman.

.a charlie brown thanksgiving.though it’s the great pumpkin, charlie brown is my favourite.

.that idaho-born sweat potato sarah palin.may your wretched body return to the dirt quite soon.

.thanksgiving trailer directed by eli roth.

.jibjab presents thanksgiving cranberry slaughter.

.christina ricci as wednesday addams telling it like it is.burroughs would be proud.

Linkin Park’s lead singer Chester Bennington took off his shirt and displayed his tattoos for an upcoming PETA campaign “Ink, Not Mink”.

Posted below is his interview and behind the scenes of his photo shoot with PETA.

While getting my infusion yesterday, I was explaining to my neurologist how I’d decided to stop trying to gain weight because the effort was making me resent eating and consuming too much of my energy, which was counterproductive.

“So you feel like foie gras?”

“Oh no, I wouldn’t eat that, not after what I’d read about what the geese go through.”

“No, I mean, you felt like a goose being force-fed ?”

“Exactly.  Not that I like geese anymore, though.  Now that they’re such a pain to the dogs.”

“The dogs eat their droppings,” Frank explained.  Only the best for our girls.

“But then, they don’t deserve to be exterminated,” I added.  “Did you hear what New York was doing to cut down on its geese?  Putting them in a building and gassing them?”  I believe it was Jim of the blog that told me of this, in fact.  “It’s horrifying, concentration campy.”

“Well,” my doctor says, “it’s campy, but I wouldn’t say it’s like a concentration camp.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean it that way, I’m so sorry.”

“But that reminds me.  My wife bought my daughter a coat with . . .”

“Goose down?”

“Yes, you’re probably right.  And it had a fur collar.”

“What kind of fur did it have?  Fox?”

“Actually, I just saw a PETA video on this.  The coats are mostly made in China and they use dog fur for the collars.”

“Dog fur?  Seriously?”

“So my daughter shows me her coat and tells me it’s real fur and I could tell she was proud, like it was a status symbol, and because I’d just watched the film, I don’t know why, I tell her where it comes from.”

“You did? . . . So has she named her coat yet?  Does she sleep with it?”

We sleep with ours, after all.

Dear, dear Lucky, I hope you can still bite people in heaven

I’m not going to say much, just state my piece.  PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) wants the University of Georgia to replace Uga VII, its recently and suddenly deceased mascot, with an animatronic robot.  Apparently, the folks at PETA are upset about the inbreeding of the English Bulldog and the poor care given to these animals.

I can’t comment too intelligently about inbreeding, except to say it’s far more common when the animals are being “miniaturized.”  But I can comment on the care these animals receive.  You see, I’ve met both Uga VI and Uga VII and his owner.The animal that is called “Uga” starts life with an entirely different name.  This pure-white English Bulldog is a direct descendant of the original Uga, who became the University of Georgia’s athletic mascot in 1956.  That Uga was the grand-son of a bulldog that accompanied the team to its 1942 national championship game.  They are owned by Frank W. Seiler of Savannah, Ga.  One that is playful, good around children and who apparently has a disdain for orange (just kidding) is chosen from among the most recent Uga’s litters.

These bulldogs are extremely well cared for, literally pampered from the day they are born and given the best veterinary care money can buy.  Uga even has a personal veterinarian on staff at the University.  You would be hard-pressed to find an animal anywhere in the world better cared for than Uga.  In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find people better cared for.

“To help end the crisis, and UGA’s string of preventable mascot deaths, we’re asking the University to honor UGA VII by replacing him with an animatronic (robot) or solely using their costumed mascot, Hairy Dawg,” the group said on its Web site.

PETA doesn’t really give a damn about the mascot.  All they care about is making a statement about animal rights.  I’m certain they “feel” something for the animals, but it is my belief that they think Uga being a mascot means he is being abused.  Uga is forced to perform in front of people at sporting events, so he’s abused.

It’s not about “preventable mascot deaths” to PETA.  It’s about forwarding their radical agenda that would give animals the same rights as human beings.  In the end, I believe it’s about making them feel better about themselves, and damn the feelings of the Georgia Bulldog fans or the Seiler family.  These people are so radical they tried to rename fish as “sea kittens” to make them less appetising.  They belong in padded rooms with heavy doors that lock from the outside.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for dinner.  I need to put on my leather coat and boots and get myself a fried chicken salad with real bacon pieces and lots of cheese.  Or maybe a nice, juicy, medium-rare steak.

For all my foul feathered eaters…happy Thanks Giving!

Peta commercial…

12h04 – 13º Salário

12h35 – Urbanidades – Violência no Trânsito

13h30 – Tempero da Terra – Bolinho de Peta

– Sabe Como? – Dengue

– Essa Casa Tem História – Casa de Cultura de Irati

– Serviços Públicos – Polícia Rodoviária Federal

– PR399 – São Mateus do Sul

– Tá na Lei – Eleição de Diretores

14h00 – Tribunal de Contas ao vivo

16h30 – Onde Você Estava? – II Guerra Mundial

– Aqui é Assim – ALEP

– O Dono da Rua – Victor Ferreira do Amaral

– Sabe Como? – CHN nova

– Tempero da Terra – Vinhos Artesanais

– Tá na Lei – Sociologia e Filosofia nas escolas

17h40 – Reportagem Especial – São Mateus do Sul

18h00 – TelejornAL ao vivo

18h30 – Assembleia em Debate – Enade

19h10 – Essa Casa Tem História – Casa de Artes de Ibiporã

– Aqui é Assim – Trâmite de Projetos

19h30 – É Seu Direito – 13º Salário

20h10 – Sessão Solene de Homenagem ao Dia da Consciência Negra

21h30 – Urbanidades – Violência no trânsito

22h30 – Tempero da Terra – Bolinho de Peta

– Sabe Como? – Dengue

– Essa Casa Tem História – Casa de Cultura de IRati

– Serviços Públicos – Polícia Rodoviária Federal

– PR399 – São Mateus do Sul

– Tá na Lei – Eleição de Diretores

23h00 – Cine Pinhão – Café do Teatro

23h30 – Reprise TelejornAL

– Perfil Parlamentar – Ney Leprevost, Luiz Accorsi, Edson Strapasson, Edson Praczyk

This looks like it’s from The Onion, but sometimes real life is a parody of itself, especially when PETA is involved.

The animal rights wackos have requested the University of Georgia drop its bulldog mascot.

An animal rights organization says the use of a live bulldog mascot contributes to the breed’s health problems and wants the University of Georgia to consider an alternative. 

PETA suggests Georgia could use a robot dog or a costumed mascot instead of the white English bulldogs that have represented the school at football games since 1956. 

Last week, bulldog mascot UGA VII died at the age of 4, apparently of a heart ailment.  Desiree Acholla of PETA says bulldogs are prone to heart problems and other medical issues because of inbreeding.  Acholla made the comments in a letter to university athletic director Damon Evans.

Again, this looks like it could have come from out of The Onion, but sadly it’s not. PETA really is requesting that UG get rid of its mascot. Here’s the doggy:

For the record, I love animals and am a pet owner. Have been for years.

But PETA is just freaking insane. And to think that the UG AD’s office actually gave these nutjobs the courtesy of a reply which said that their demands had good points which merit consideration.

All that does is encourage them, folks. Grow a set and tell them to take their radicalism and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine and then rotate on it. People are intimidated by these bullies, and that’s exactly what PETA and their ilk are. Bullies.

Did you know that PETA is routinely given access to children in America’s K-12 schools without parental consent? Read here to find out more. What part of education does pushing this radical agenda do with educating children? Nothing.

Here’s the PETA Kids website. More brainwashing.

Here’s a PETA comic book labeling Mommy a “killer” and showing a mom maniacally stabbing a rabbit. Enough blood and gore for a Jason movie.

These people are extremists and it’s way past time that we kick them to the curb of society with the other trash.

Who wants some turkey?

Wonder what you would find if you frisked a PETA Thanksgiving?

Answer: The worst feast ever.

HAHA.

To be honest, I thought this was a pretty simple, but creative advertisement by PETA. Granted, I definitely don’t agree with it, but it delivers its message quite well.

I figured I would post this today so it doesn’t ruin anybody’s appetite tomorrow. Enjoy!

Side-Note: I cannot wait for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Yum… Turkey and ham galore! Sorry PETA, but not eating meat is just wrong.

And for the record… Who the (H-E-Double Hockey Stick) steps on a little turkey’s head!?

Oh for cryin’ out loud! These people are nuts! But at least NBC showed some unique and rare sense and rejected it

Os americanos tem o costume de celebrar todo ano o “Thanksgiving Day” – o Dia de Ação de Graças – que acontece toda quarta Quinta-feira de Novembro, que neste ano no caso é amanhã.

Como manda a tradição reúne-se a família em grandes jantares para comer Peru e agradecer a Deus pelas coisas boas do ano (você já ter visto em algum filme ou seriado).

É neste cenário que a PETA, (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), organização que luta pelo direito dos animais, lançou um comercial recheado de polêmica, ingrediente principal de suas ações. Vejam:

Como não encontrei o filme legendado, segue aqui a transcrição e minha tradução livre do comercial.

Transcrição “Dear God. Thank you for the turkey we’re about to eat. And for the turkey farms where they pack them into dark, tiny little sheds for their whole lives. Thank you for when they burn their feathers off when they’re still alive and for when turkey gets kicked around like a football and killed by people who think it’s fun to stomp on their little turkey heads. And special thanks for all the chemicals and dirt and poop that’s in the turkey we’re about to eat. Oh, and thank you for rainbows.”

Tradução livre “Querido Deus. Obrigada pelo peru que estamos prestes a comer. E para as fazendas de peru, onde embalam eles no escuro, em minúsculos galpões para o resto de suas vidas. Obrigada por quando eles queimam as suas penas enquanto eles ainda estão vivos e por quando os perus são chutados por aí como uma bola de futebol e mortos por pessoas que acham que é divertido pisar em suas pequenas cabeças. E agradecimentos especiais para todos os produtos químicos e sujeira e cocô que está no peru que estamos prestes a comer. Ah, e obrigada pelos arco-íris.”

Adorei o contraste das palavras duras com o ar meigo da menina, que suavizou um pouco (só um pouco) o peso das palavras. Não sou vegetariana, mas admiro quem abrace essa causa e gostei do filme. O que vocês acharam? A agência responsável foi a Matter de Los Angeles.

Ah! O comercial foi banido.

Eva Mendes is now on the list of stars who have joined PETA on the fight against animal abuse. She recently posed naked for the last campaign against natural fur started by PETA.

“I love animals, but I hadn’t had a pet since I was a kid. I recently got a dog and he’s not only made me a happier girl–he’s made me much more sympathetic to animal rights. I look at my beautiful dog and think, “Of course I’d never eat him or skin him for his fur, so why would I be okay with eating a cow or wearing a cheetah?” It’s just not right. It’s a contradiction. “said Eva Mendes for Wenn magazine.

The actress apparently decided to join the organization PETA after seeing a movie in which animals were skinned several farms in China.

This PETA ad has been banned on many networks. Thoughts?

Last night, my husband and I enjoyed the zany antics and fun music of “Shark Tale” on DVD.  Geared to older kids, the movie is still too mature for kiddo.

Vegetarian kids will love that Lenny the Shark (Jack Black) shares their outlook on life, and all kids can benefit from this movie’s message about the importance of being true to yourself and accepting those you love.

You may want to talk to your kids about how this movie challenges stereotypes (with a vegetarian Great White shark) and how it perpetuates them (portraying “Italian-American” sharks as mobsters).   Also, consider visiting PETA’s FishingHurts.com to get the inside scoop on what shark behavior featured in the film is cartoon fiction and what’s based on reality.

Rated PG.  Appropriate for ages 8-12.  For another perspective, visit Common Sense Media.

UGH. Another celebrity who should stick to what she’s good at. First it was Kate Moss “designing” her own line for Topshop, only to be foiled that they were actually designed by London College of Fashion Students and bore uncanny resemblences to her own clothes.

No don’t get me wrong I’m one of Kates biggest fans, I could spend hours Googling her, but thats exactly where I want to see her: 2D, Nice outfit, Usually with her tits out, Pretty Face. Not claiming to be the next Karl Lagerfeld.

Someone please explain to me how this can be “designed” by Kate when she’s clearly wearing the same dress Circa 1998. That’s artistic interpretation too far. What are Kate’s credentials on desiging? There’s being an iconic clothes horse and there’s pattern cutting, measuring the seams, blind stitching. Come off it Kate.

At least Kate has some industry experience. Leona Lewis on the otherhand is singer off a reality show isn’t she? But apparently she seems to have teamed up with ethical embassodor Stella McCartney to design her own vegan clothing line. I’m vehermently against the use of fur in fashion but I can’t help think Leona Lewis could use her new found fame to promote PETA instead on joining the bandwagon of Celebrity ENDORSED fashion lines. Boring. She doesn’t even dress well. I shall wait with baited breath.

Even though we’re Canucks here at Enviralment, we like to take time to acknowledge all our fans south of the boarder. Being that it’s American Thanksgiving, here’s a great little ad from PETA to honor the American Holiday.

“Mmmmmm, save the neck for me Clark.”

PETA being the publicity mongers they are, created this ad and intended to run it on NBC during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. NBC wanted the stats to back up the claims about conditions in factory farms, which were answered by this opinion piece in the New York Times. NBC decided “this commercial does not meet NBC Universal standards” and declined to run it. God forbid they air a commercial with any truth to it.

More info on PETA’s blog.

I’m entirely supportive of truth in advertising, but I just can’t get behind the whole vegan thing. If that’s what blows your skirt up then more power to you, but in my opinion there are few things better than mouth watering med-rare steak.

Whether the aim of this ad was to actually get people to go vegan or if it was simply to be created – knowing that it would be rejected – and then pick up on the publicity from that, remains to be seen.
I think this would have been a stellar ad if at the end the super flashed “Go organic” rather than “go vegan”.

Whatever their pompous goal was it’s nice to see them actually hit the mark for once and not just have ads with People Exposing Tits & Ass.

See what I did there?

P-eople
E-xposing
T-its
A-ss

God my cleverness is astounding at times.

EDITORS NOTE: it actually took me about 30 min to come up with that little gem as well as read the wiki page on acronyms.

Slashdot It!

[Digg]

Happy Turkey Day?

Munk

Jeg skulle bruge en illustration til begrebet “munk” (en af de religiøse, ikke fuglen med samme navn). Og hvad gør man så? Man foretager naturligvis en billedsøgning på Google på “monk”.

Resultat nr. 6 i søgningen var nedenstående billede… – og hvad har hun så med en munk at gøre? Jo, hun hedder faktisk Sophie Monk

Og egentlig kunne jeg fint bruge billedet, da det er en opfordring til at “go vegetarian!”, hvad jeg støtter helt og fuldt… – og så er det jo også et ganske kønt billede!

Billedet er oprindelig en del af en kampagne for dyrevelfærd og specielt imod pelsproduktion. En kampagne iværksat af organisationen PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)

PETA findes også på Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/officialpeta

Støt PETA !!! – det gør Sophie Monk  

Monk

Model Dani Lugosi faced rain and put up her charms in order to convince people to stop using natural fur, in the latest PETA campaign. The 28 year old Australian came out Tuesday on the street of Sydney, to protest naked against the mistreatment of animals just for some people to be able to satisfy their taste for luxury wearing natural fur.

The Australian testified that she began to be concerned about the cruel treatment of animals applied by the fashion industry after seeing a video of rabbits skinned alive. Now she decided to be active for PETA and made his debut in street protests. At first she seemed a little embarrassed, but after seeing the people appreciating her gesture, relaxed.