If you were paying attention, and I’ll assume that you were, as hanging on my every word is quite unavoidable, you’ll notice where I called this page a sports site. This is only partially true (you’ll find, as we go forward, that partial truths are one of my many fortes, along with sneaky lies, eloquent hyperbole, and expertly placed scorn). In addition to sports, I will also be covering games. To deal with issues of server space and short attention spans, the two have been amalgamated under the catch-all phrase “sports” in such a way that they’ve lost all distinction. Well, I’m here to set the record straight… which should have been listed amongst my fortes… setting the record straight. I’m very good at it.

And actually, the distinction is quite simple to understand… and here’s the litmus test; if a fat 60 year old can do it moderately well, it’s not a sport, it’s a game. Simple as that.

So let’s get to it, shall we?

But first, let’s start by saying I’m not going to mention anything that’s so obviously a game that its’ combatants won’t even complain at having it called so. These include poker, backgammon, Madden challenge, Scrabble, spelling bees, etc… These have at most a very little physical aspect to them, and thus don’t qualify as a sport under any definition of the world. Plus, a fat 60 year old, after some practice, could be the best in the world at any of them.

American Football – Sport. Clearly, our fat 60 year old could strap on a helmet and shoulder pads and proceed to play the game, but this is where the “moderately well” portion of our litmus test comes into play. I would also recommend a stretcher, ambulance, priest and his loved ones be nearby.

Archery - Game. Games can be broken down into two categories… strictly mental games, like the ones mentioned above (Poker, Backgammon, etc…), or games that combine both mental and physical aspects. Alas, when it comes to archery’s physicality, we’re talking hand-eye coordination (true of many games) and average levels of strength. A fat 60 year old can handle those aspects.

Australian Rules Football – Sport. I would, though, like to see our fat 60 year old in one of these. Wait, no I wouldn’t. Forget I said that.

Auto Racing – Game. Let’s be honest here… the cars are the athletes. They’re the ones competing in a sport. The drivers, not so much. Yes, it’s physically and mentally demanding… but can you really sit there and tell me, perched on your high chair like you most certainly are, that a fat 60 year old couldn’t win one race, let alone do moderately well? Already, Mark Martin of Nascar fares quite well at age 50, and the oldest winner was 52. Formula one’s oldest winner was 53. And we’ve got a fat guy that regularly wins in Tony Stewart. Would he win? Probably not. Could he do moderately well? Definitely.

Badminton – Sport. Yes, our fat 60 year old, depending on what strata of society he finds himself within, might play regularly… probably with regular breaks for tea and judging people. But put that same fat 60 year old in a competitive environment, and he loses every time. There’s nothing “moderately well” about that.

Baseball – Sport. Baseball’s one of the trickier ones to call, actually. Most players are involved in a sport, but pitchers, particularly those pansies from the American League (what with the designated hitter rule), might be playing a game. We’ve seen plenty of successful fat guys… C.C. Sabathia, David Wells, Bartolo Colon, Jumbo Brown… most of them pitchers (though certainly the aforementioned designated hitter and first base are prone to successful fat guys, like Cecil Fielder, and John Kruk)… but could our 60 year old do it, at least moderately well? Maybe, but he’d have to be pretty special. And since most baseball players qualify as athletes playing a sport (unless you could see our fat 60 year old chase down a fly ball, or steal second… I don’t), we’ll call baseball a sport.

Basketball – Sport. Through and through. Even if our fat 60 year old was 7′4″, he still wouldn’t hold up, and that’s saying something.

Bobsleigh – Game. Any activity where gravity does the most work is a game. That fact should maybe be at the top, but at least it’s here. A fat person actually benefits from these kinds of games. As a matter of fact, until the governing body instituted a weight-limit rule in 1952, bobsleigh crews were very heavy. It should also be noted that bobsleigh inverse to baseball, as the pusher might actually be playing a sport, at least at the start of the race. This is of course before the gravity takes over, and it’s the pusher’s job to get the sled moving. But for most of the race, all members of the team are playing a game, hence, its’ designation here.

Bossaball – Sport. And a wild one at that. And just look at that photo (you’ll have to hover over “bossaball” to see it)… if any of you know a fat 60 year old that could even do that without gravely injuring him/herself, I want their name and number. I have an idea for a viral video. Oh, and if you want to know just what the hell bossaball is, check this out.

Boules – Game. Uh, yeah. This one’s obvious, right? From a class of games that includes Bocce, Lawn Bowling, Petanque, Boule Lyonaisse, Klootschieten and Varpa… games seemingly specifically created for the elderly (but fun nonetheless).

Bowling – Game. Again, no questions here, right? If so, just head to your local bowling alley. You’ll see plenty of fat, drunk 60 year olds bowling in the 200’s regularly. Not a sport.

Boxing – Sport. This one’s a bit thorny. George Foreman, at this very moment, is a fat 60 year old (ironic for a man synonymous with the Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine, but I digress). Could he really not fare at least moderately well in the ring today? Probably so… but this one comes with a caveat. The only way this could work is in the heavyweight division, where lumbering, plodding heavy punchers will always have a place. You can be all of those things as a fat 60 year old. In no other weight class would this be plausible. So on the whole, boxing’s a sport, whether the heavyweight division is a game or not.

Competitive Dance – Sport. So us macho types, like, for instance, myself, don’t like to admit that dance is a sport. But step back and take a look at it… extreme athleticism? Check. Very competitive? Check. Exclusion of fat 60 year olds? That’s a big fat check. And those of you who have been to a competitive dance… uh… competition?… and seen the merciless backstabbing and cutthroat sabotage that regularly unfolds know damn well that this is no game.

Cricket – Sport. The art of bowling sets cricket apart from baseball. As opposed to the standstill throw a pitcher delivers, the bowler’s is a violent, full-body action with an extended run-up that would certainly throw out the backs of most fat 60 year olds. Even the act of batting is more involved, as batsmen have been known to switch sides of the wicket while the bowler is in his run-up (this would be akin to a right-handed batter jumping over home plate to bat left-handed during a pitcher’s windup). No easy feat, and no place for a fat 60 year old to tread.

Curling – Game. There’s nothing about this game that a fat 60 year old couldn’t handle. They might be the best in the world at it, for all I know.

Cycling – Sport. A fat 60 year old in spandex? We don’t think so.

Darts – Game. One of the few games where being a fat 60 year old is an advantage.

Decathlon/Heptathlon/Pentathlon – Sport. This would, of course, be the end of our fat 60 year old. We had some good times, fat 60 year old. We’ll always remember you.

Disc Golf – Game. Another addendum; if stoners, hippies and other movement-reluctant bums fancy it, it’s a game.

Discus Throw – Game. The actual throwing of the discus any fat 60 year old could handle, and while some of them might be hilariously awful, some could reach the “moderately well” threshold… that’s the rub. It’s the leadup to the toss that gets a bit dicey. Most athletic 25 years olds will end up on their ass following it… and a fat 60 year old? He’ll get vertigo… unless… he/she was already an experienced discus thrower. A former champion, let’s say. Could he/she still fare moderately well? Of course.

Diving – Game. Here’s the thing… at the elite level, yes, diving is heavily populated by 15 year old, 58 pound Asians. But tack on 45 years and 200 pounds to those same Asians… and splashy, cannonball-esque entry aside, could they not at least fare reasonably well in a diving competition? I think so, yes.

Downhill Skiing – Sport. OK, let me explain. Yes, gravity plays a major role here, in fact, it’s the agent propelling the skier down the hill. But what sets downhill skiing apart from say the bobsleigh or the luge is that the skiier must use his/her athleticism against gravity, to turn, sometimes sharply. Without the ability to do so, the ability to fare, oh, I don’t know, let’s say moderately well, goes down the tubes. Our fat 60 year old would be carried faster than most down the hill, thanks to the “fat” part, would his/her 60 year old muscles be able to turn him/her appropriately? We have our doubts.

Equestrian – Game. Again, who’s the athlete here? Is it the person riding the horse, or the horse doing all the work? The horses are certainly competing in a sport… the person sitting on the horse? Not so much. Though we will admit that we certainly feel for the horse that has a fat 60 year old on its’ back.

Fencing – Game. We’ll admit, fencing takes incredible instincts and quickness, and the reflexes of a… uh…. well, something that has really fast reflexes. So we’re under no illusion that a fat 60 year old could be a champion. But let’s say renowned champion Sergei Golubitsky hits 60 and has let himself go a little (or a lot, whatever picture you throw into that head of yours). Were he to enter a competition, could he not fare at least moderately well? It says here he could.

Figure Skating – Sport. Unless points were awarded for sliding along the ice on your ass or stomach, our fat 60 year old would stand no chance here. None at all. Though, this does give me an idea. Who wouldn’t pay money to watch fat 60 year olds attempt some of these advanced moves. It’d be a train wreck, and train wrecks make good televsion… hmmmmm…. We’d have to come up with some appropriate clothing, but yeah, I think I could make it work.

Fishing/Angling – Game. Go watch your local fishing tournament this weekend. Take note of the number of people that aren’t fat 60 year olds. Now, nod in agreement with me.

Gaelic Football – Sport. A fat 60 year old would spend the entire game getting embarrassed, thus causing him, if he’s Irish (as we would expect, if he’s playing Gaelic Football), to pick a fight with every player on the pitch, followed by that particularly intoxicating brand of Irish violence… utter chaos, generally speaking… which would subsequently lead to everyone getting drunk together and singing songs. Stereotypical? You betcha… but I’ve lived it. And stereotypes exist for a reason, right?

Golf – Game. First, it’s a favorite of fat 60 year olds. Second, you could easily see one heating up and shooting a 70 on the same day Tiger Woods shoots a 72. An activity where you could play better than the world’s best? That’s a game, my friends. Let’s put that same fat guy up against Lebron James in a game of one-on-one. Does he ever win? Of course not. If we tied one of James’ arms behind his back, does the fat 60 year old ever win? Of course not. I believe I’ve eagled this one.

Gymnastics – Sport. OK, picture the fat 60 year old, and let’s go with a male. Now… and this won’t be easy… picture him in a unitard. Get past it, you can do it. OK, good. Now, picture him going through a routine on the pommel horse. How many times did he crush his nuts? 30? 40? No, this is no place for a fat 60 year old.

Hammer Throw – Game. Like the discus throw, the problem lies in the lead up to the throw. And like the discus throw, most people would end up on all fours attempting such a thing, with probably a vertigo supplementation for our fat 60 year old. But, like the discus, an experienced discus thrower who just happens to be fat and 60 could fare moderately well… thus… it’s a game.

Handball – Sport. Like many sports, a fat 60 year old could play handball, and like all of them, against decent competition, he’d get embarrassed to the point of taking up shuffleboard.

Hockey – Sport. Whether it be the ice or the field variety, the end results are the same. Our fat 60 year old hospitalized, probably with a feeding tube and catheter. It wouldn’t be pretty.

Horse Racing – Game. A great sport for horses, a decent game for humans. Again, how is this a sport for jockeys? Actually, let’s put it this way, if the real athlete in the sport (the horse) would be better off without human involvement (you know, faster without something on its’ back), then it’s no sport for humans. There. And yes, we’d need a very special, strong horse for our fat 60 year old, but there’s one out there that could lead it to a moderately decent finish.

Hurling – Sport. And one I’m not sure should be legal. Picture, Americans, a combination of baseball, soccer and handball. That’s right, they run around with what amounts to baseball bats in their hands, freely swinging them on the field of battle, with others all around them. Hence the helmets. I don’t think we should allow our fat 60 year old to even try this one. Let’s move on.

Hydroplane Racing – Game. Another sport where the humans are just controlling the athletes… in this case, crazy-fast boats. And another one a fat 60 year old would fancy his chances in. He might even prevent things like this from happening, what with the extra weight and all.

Jai Alai – Sport. I don’t think “the fastest sport in the world” is any place for a fat 60 year old. I don’t know, maybe that’s just me, but I’m gonna go ahead and give this one the sport nod, and move on, thus saving the life of our fat 60 year old, in all probability. Ed Honcho, hero.

Javelin Throw – Game. As with most throwing sports, where your average fat 60 year old wouldn’t be able to compete, one with experience should be able to at least fare moderately well. Hence the designation as a game. They are the Olympic Games, after all, right?

Jumping – Sport. This includes the High Jump, Long/Broad Jump and Triple Jump, not to mention certain obstacles for fat 60 year olds… namely, the whole jumping part.

Luge – Game. This falls under our aforementioned gravity rule (see: bobsleigh). Our 60 year old’s girth would do nothing but help him/her. Sure, he/she might end up in the hospital, but that’s true of thin 26 year olds as well.

Martial Arts – Sport. Unlike boxing’s heavyweight division, there are very few plodding, heavy hitters when it comes to any discipline of the martial arts. My recommendation to our fat 60 year old? Start tapping out as soon as the competition begins. I’m tired of these hospital bills. It’s starting to add up.

Motorcycle Racing – Game. Again, and maybe I should just put this on repeat. The humans here aren’t the real athletes. The motorcycles are. They’re the ones competing in a sport. The humans… simply enjoying their game. And sure, your average 60 year old would struggle… but a former motorcyle jockey who spent 10 years gorging on Tastykakes? He could fare, you guessed it, moderately well.

Netball/Korfball – Sport. Very similar to basketball, though not quite as arduous physically as one’s movement is restricted. Thus, at amateurish levels, a fat 60 year old could hold his/her own. But once we start to creep into the levels of “moderately decent”, the fat 60 year old falls short.

Orienteering/Rogaining – Game. Navigation-based competitions will always fall into the category of games, for obvious reasons, the most clear being that many fat 60 year olds already participate, and can certainly fare at least moderately well. The “fat” part undoubtedly doesn’t help, as these competitions are all on foot, but this deficiency can be made up for in other areas.

Pole Vault – Sport. The mere idea of a fat 60 year old attempting the pole vault has me sitting in my chair laughing my ass off (or SIMCLMAO, from here forward). This is no game.

Polo – Game. This is a combo event between the horse and the human, with the horse playing a sport and the human playing a hand-eye-coordination-based game. Our fat 60 year old could play this game, with a big enough horse, and play it quite well.

Racewalking – Game. This one just feels like a game, doesn’t it? It’s got that game funk all over it. And I’m not coming at this from a “what’s shoved up those guys asses?” point of view either. Nope. I know they’re great at what they do, and it takes talent. It’s just, what’s the ceiling on speed if you’re walking? And what’s the ceiling on speed if you’re a former racewalking champ who’s put on a few and 60 years old? Are they that far apart? That’s the thing. The slower racewalking speeds allow for the discrepancies in time to remain close, as opposed to running, where the difference increases exponentially. Thus, our fat 60 year old can log his/her moderately well and move on with his/her life.

Rock Climbing/Bouldering – Sport. Yeah, our guy would be dead. Fat and rock climbing/bouldering go together like…. uh, fat and… modeling. I don’t know. Two things that don’t go together very well. Cut me some slack, I’ve run out of coffee.

Rowing – Game. This one’s not so easy. Could a fat 60 year old row well. Yes, and with great power. Would his/her girth keep him/her from our “moderately well” standard? We say no, not if he/she were an experienced rower. This one definitely toes the border between sport and game, though. But hey, the rules are the rules… hard and fast. Just like me. Except for fast. Sometimes… depends what we’re talking about. Let’s just move on.

Rugby – Sport. Sure, Rugby (both League and Union) has its’ fat guys, but they’re not really fat guys, they’re just sports fat guys. You know, the kind of guy that drinks all night and doesn’t pay any attention to what he puts in his body… fish & chips, meat pies, etc… But they’re not really fat, not by society’s standards, at least. They’re just sports fat. Our 60 year old is society fat, plus, you know, he’s 60. He might hold his own in a scrum, but otherwise, it’s back to the hospital with him.

Running – Sport. Including sprints, marathons, hurdles, etc… And we’re moving on.

Sailing – Game. Now, we certainly don’t want to downplay what they do, but could a fat 60 year old be part of a winning team? You betcha. Could he win an individual competition? Unlikely, but could we expect him to do reasonably well? Were he a former champion, yes, we could. And I’m sticking with it, no matter how many hateful emails I get.

Shooting – Game. Encompassing sporting clays, skeet and trap shooting, our fat 60 year old is already moving into the semifinals.

Shot Put – Game. Our fat 60 year old is excited to try this one out. No running, no jumping, just sheer strength. And it says here they’ll fare at least moderately well.

Shuffleboard – Game. Funny story, our fat 60 year old is actually the reigning world shuffleboard champion. True story.

Skateboarding – Sport. We’re eagerly anticipating our fat 60 year old’s turn on the half-pipe. We’re guessing the judges don’t throw the term “moderately well” around. Maybe something more along the lines of “OH MY GOD! CALL 9-1-1!!!”

Ski Jump – Game. The ski jump, as opposed to downhill skiing, requires very little active resistance to gravity. Gravity hurls it’s participants down the ramp, a small, quick, powerful burst of the legs when the ramp turns up, then it’s all about holding your form. Our fat 60 year old, a former ski jumper, could handle this sort of thing, and his performance would be deemed “moderately well,” grammar be damned.

Snowboarding – Sport. And this includes virtually every form of snowboarding sport there is, whether it be boardercross, halfpipe, big air, slopestyle or simply racing. Now, some of them do start to creep into game territory… for instance, our fat 60 year old could get good air, and maybe perform enough tricks to fare moderately well… but we doubt it. And the rest of the events would leave him/her at the ski lodge in a full body cast… so yeah, we’re going sport.

Speed Skating – Sport. It’s a matter of sheer physics, really. As our fat 60 year old made a turn, provided he/she had any sort of speed built up, the centrifugal force would carry him/her into the boards, everytime… partly because their mass would be difficult to stop/turn, and also because their older legs wouldn’t be able to do it. I like to call it the “law of hilarious crashes where hopefully nobody gets hurt”. I am having some trouble getting it to stick. Maybe you guys can help me out? Spread the word. Spread the love.

Soccer/Football/Calcio/Futbol – Sport. Sure, lots of fat 60 year olds play soccer, but have you watched them? Let’s just say that their version is a sedentary one, rife with mis-kicks, hand-balls, shin-shots, beer and singing. OK, so it’s not that much different than the EPL… but just enough that our fat 60 year old narrowly fails the test.

Softball – Game. Though really, the way women play it, it’s a sport. But the way the vast majority of people play it, it’s barely a game. More like a mixer, or a party, or something between grilling and horseshoes. Our fat 60 year old is right at home.

Surfing – Sport. First of all, fat, in the surfing world, means shark food. Second, well, let’s go back to physics. The best surfers don’t sit too far down in the water. They skim the surface. Fat means skimming becomes more difficult… means jumps don’t look as good… means tubes aren’t properly navigated… means “moderately well” is out of the picture.

Swimming – Sport. Unless you consider drowning a success, in which case, you need to go talk to someone. Seriously.

Table Tennis – Game. To play at the highest level, with the best of the best, you cannot be fat, or 60. It takes hummingbird-like reflexes that, let’s face it, have left our fat 60 year old over time. But to play the game moderately well? Our fat 60 year old can handle that, especially if he/she has history in the game.

Tennis – Sport. It’s like table tennis, if the table were expanded to 10 times it’s normal size and you got on top of it. This means 10 times more ground to cover for our fat 60 year old. That’s about 9 times too much.

Triathlon – Sport. Maybe if the swim were 25 yards, the bike 1/4 of a mile, and the run 30 steps… maybe, our fat 60 year old could fight his/her way into the “moderately well” category. Anything more and he/she suffers a stroke.

Ultimate Frisbee – Sport. That’s right. Ultimate has moved out of the realm of hippies and stoners and been taken over by real athletes. The amount of athleticism required to catch the many errant throws that occur alone dooms our fat 60 year old (and if you don’t believe me, check out the photo if you hover over “ultimate frisbee”, or this one).

Volleyball – Sport. If we’re talking water volleyball, our 60 year old might stand a chance. But beach, or indoor? Uh, no. Even if he/she were 7′0″ tall, his/her lack of quicks would doom him/her. Plus, that’s not even an insurmountable heighth these days when it comes to volleyball. No, we’re quite sure our fat 60 year old would be humiliated.

Water Polo – Sport. Treading water is an underestimated exercise. It’s exhausting. Trust me. Ed Honcho spent his formative years as a lifeguard (what did you expect?), where part of the certification process was to hold a brick over your head and tread water for 1 minute. Go ahead and try it, we’ll wait… no? Pansies. What you’d find is that it’s not the sort of thing a fat 60 year old should be attempting under any circumstances, brick or no. Though, I will admit, it might come in handy during a lifeguard certification class, as you would most certainly be dragging them off the bottom of the pool, maybe putting them on a backboard, and potentially administering a little mouth-to-mouth. Three birds with one stone. I’m surprised they haven’t thought of this one yet. What I’m not surprised about, is that I have.

Waterskiing – Sport. Have you seen some of the things these people do? Yes? Can you imagine a fat 60 year old doing any of them? Yes, but only poorly, and quickly followed by a horrible wipeout? Me too!

Weightlifting – Game. Plenty of fat people excel at weightlifting… remember, fat people can be very strong, whether they be 20, 40, 60 or 80 years old.

Wrestling – Sport/Game. Truly, in wrestling moreso than any other sport, it depends on the discipline. Freestyle or Collegiate wrestling is a sport. Fat 60 year olds would get twisted into pretzels. Greco-Roman wrestling is a game, since it relies almost solely on upper body strength, which a fat 60 year old might have in spades… or, at least enough to fare moderately well. Submission wrestling is a sport, as a fat 60 year old wouldn’t have the speed to contain someone at the top of their game… not to mention someone at an average level of their game. Arm wrestling is a game, which should be patently obvious to anyone but the dullest of minds. Sumo wrestling is a sport, as, though our 60 year old is fat… that gives him no advantages. Instead, it’s about quickness at that size, something that puts our 60 year old at a decided disadvantage. And, of course, professional wrestling is neither a game or a sport, it’s what we like to call “acting” in the business.

So there you have it… I would normally spend the next few hours waxing poetic about my prophetic… ness. But it does appear as if our fat 60 year old is in need of immediate attention. What do eyes rolled back in the head usually mean? Is that bad? Yeah. OK, I gotta go. Spread the word people. Let’s make this stuff fact. Oh, and if you want to send any particularly hateful emails my way, sure, I can take it. Just send it to icanbesurprisinglysensitive@edhoncho.com. Yo.

En 1907, M. Lenoir de la Ciotat invente un jeu de boules où le joueur reste à l’arrêt devant une marque. Le terme Pétanque vient de l’occitan Pé (pied), tanca (arrêt).

Jules Hugues dit « Lenoir », ne pouvant plus jouer à son jeu préféré (la boule provençale où à la différence de la pétanque il fallait prendre de l’élan) à cause de ses rhumatismes, s’est mis un jour, à tracer un rond, envoyer le but à 5-6 m, et, les « pieds tanqués », à jouer ses boules pour se rapprocher du cochonnet. Ceci se passait sur le terrain de boules d’un café « La boule étoilée » (terrain baptisé ainsi en clin d’œil aux boules cloutées de l’époque) dont les propriétaires s’appelaient Ernest et Joseph Pitiot. Les deux frères comprirent vite l’intérêt de ce sport, notamment Ernest qui s’appliqua à en finaliser les règles. La pétanque était née !

Il faudra néanmoins attendre le premier concours officiel à La Ciotat en 1910 pour que le mot soit officialisé. Le terme vient des mots de l’occitan provençal pè « pied » et tanca « pieu », donnant en français régional l’expression « jouer à pétanque » ou encore « pés tanqués », c’est-à-dire avec les pieds joints et ancrés sur le sol, par opposition au jeu provençal où le joueur peut prendre de l’élan. Les innovations sont les suivantes :

• le jeu se pratique sur un terrain plus court ;
• le joueur lance sa boule sans élan ;
• les pieds joints, à partir d’un cercle tracé au sol.

Ainsi, une idée généreuse et humanitaire (on songe aux paralympiques !), allait faire le tour du monde, même si son succès est probablement lié à la simplicité des règles et la sociabilité avec la proximité des joueurs ensemble qui se parlent et s’interpellent.

Burbure et Compiègne (photo EB).

Les rencontres remontent déjà à la semaine dernière mais nous n’avions pas eu l’occasion de les évoquer et de donner une information complète à ce sujet. En résumé : Burbure n’ira pas plus loin dans le championnat National des clubs, après son déplacement à Compiègne. Pourtant l’Entente aurait certainement mérité de poursuivre son chemin.
Compiègne-Burbure : 22-14. L’ampleur du score est complètement disproportionnée avec la réalité de la rencontre. Au terme de la série des têtes à têtes, Burbure et Compiègne étaient à égalité. Après celle des doublettes, avec deux succès sur trois, Burbure menait 14-10. Et les triplettes sont arrivées. Pour rester en lice, l’Entente devait à gagner une sur deux. Après plusieurs mauvaises mènes et de la malchance, la première s’inclinait 13-4. La deuxième triplette faisait jeu égal jusqu’à 10-10 mais la dernière mène fut fatale aux Burburains avec un cochonnet qui se déplaçait au profit de l’adversaire. Défaite 13-10. Et donc un score final de 22 à 14.
Burbure – Châlons-sur-Saône: 8-28. Aprtès cette déception les joueurs de l’Entente doivent se reprendre et se reconcentrer pour affronter Châlons-sur-Saône. A l’issue des têtes à têtes, Burbure est mené 4-8. Une victoire sur trois en doublettes permet d’entretenir l’espoir mais il va falloir faire fort. “Il ne faut pas baisser les bras, c’est encore possible” dit le coach. Mais après une heure de jeu, il faut se rendre à l’évidence, les deux triplettes s’inclinent et laissent donc le gain de la rencontre à Châlons-sur-Saône dont les joueurs viennent féliciter nos Burburains pour la qualité de leur jeu et leur fair-play.

Burbure et Châlons (photo EB).

I spent the last day of my vacation with Odile, Antoine and Odile’s father in the Luberon. It was absolutely wonderful, very relaxing and charming. We started with a lunch worth describing…salad, freshly baked bread and my first taste of foie gras, followed by a sweet white wine from the Alsace region of France, followed by homegrown potatoes accompanying a delicious cut of marinated roast beef with cherries and apples (from his garden, of course) for dessert. Delicious.

After that we took a walking tour of his village, Goult, during which I finally saw a game of Pétanque in action. It’s very similar to bocce ball, and tres, tres Provencal. The rest of the afternoon was spent soaking up the charm of Goult and another nearby mountaintop village called Lacoste. We finished with a visit to the family farm, which mostly grows wine. It was a great ending to my fall break – hopefully I’ll get to go back before the semester ends…

Chi l’ha detto che le bocce sono uno sport fuori moda? In occasione dei 100 anni della Pétanque, celebrati qualche anno fa, Louis Vuitton ha realizzato un esclusivo set di bocce in pelle destinato a una clientela molto selezionata. Le nove bocce in pelle con l’arcinoto monogramma LV costano, infatti, circa 1500 Euro. Pare che diano la stessa sensazione di gioco di quelle della Pétanque, che sono in metallo e vuote all’interno. Il set è racchiuso in una elegante valigetta beige in pelle, con tasca per taccuino segnapunti e matita, a sua volta custodita in una sacca in alcantara. Très Chic!

Bonjour et bienvenue sur le blog du club de pétanque de Mouscron (Belgique).

Le club est situé au 1 avenue de la Bourgogne, 7700 Mouscron. Il est ouvert :

• le mercredi de 17h à 21h
• le vendredi de 17h à 1h
• le dimanche de 9h30 à 13h

Le boulodrome couvert est chauffé et dispose de 11 pistes.

Nog eentje van de voorbije zomer.

Les équipes de Burbure (en orange) et Longwy (photo EB).

Ce dimanche, le plateau multisports était le cadre d’un 8e de finale de la Coupe de France (zone 7) de pétanque opposant le club de Longwy à l’Entente burburaine. Au terme de la série des six têtes à têtes (cinq masculins et un féminin), Burbure remportait 5 parties sur 6 ce qui était de bonne augure pour la suite de la rencontre. Confirmation avec les doublettes, l’Entente remportant les trois rencontres ce qui l’assurait d’une qualification obtenue sur le score final de 19 à 2. Reste maintenant à savoir quelle équipe le tirage au sort réservera à Burbure pour le quart de finale qui se disputera courant janvier. Cette qualification en coupe est d’autant plus méritoire que la plupart des joueurs (6 + 2 remplaçants) étaient aussi du voyage de la veille, à Compiègne, pour le premier championnat national. Lors du premier match contre Cocheren (Moselle), ville frontalière de l’Allemagne, Burbure remportait quatre têtes à têtes sur six puis réalisait un festival en gagnant les trois parties en doublettes et les deux dernières en triplettes. Score final: 32-4. Contre Charly Pétanque (Hauts de Seine), la série des têtes à tête fut moins favorable aux Burbrains  qui en gagnaient 2 sur 4. Rien n’était perdu, mais en doublettes, ils en perdaient deux sur trois. Pour obtenir le gain de la rencontre, il fallait donc que les deux triplettes remportent leur confrontation. Pari réussi pour la première mais la deuxième s’inclinait sur le score de 11-13. Dommage, car il a manqué peu de chose. Score final : 22-14 pour Charly. Au terme de cette première journée, l’Entente burburaine occupe la deuxième place du groupe en attendant les deux prochaines rencontres (également à Compiègne) qui auront samedi.

Les équipes de Burbure et des banlieusards parisiens de Charly pétanque (photo EB).

Les équipes de l'Entente burburaine et des Mosellans de Cocherel (photo EB).

Dimanche 18 octobre, rencontre de coupe de France en début d’après midi : Burbure contre Longwy (Meurthe-et-Moselle 54). Ce vendredi 16 octobre à 17h30 au plateau multisports: début des entraînements jeunes. Cette première prise de contact avec la vingtaine de jeunes inscrits à l’école de pétanque de l’Entente Burburaine permettra de détecter les aptitudes de ces peut-être futurs champions ou championnes .

from www.primocanalesport.it

Liguria giovanile d’oro ai Mondiali di Petanque

Grande successo per i giovani della petanque ligure ai Campionati Mondiali che si sono svolti a Monastir, in Tunisiai. Alessio Farina e Alessandro Basso dell’Anpi Molassan, Ginaluca Rattenni del Testico e Diego Rizzi del Dlf Ventimiglia si sono laureati campioni del mondo nelle terne. A completare il trionfo ligure, Diego Rizzi che ha conquistato una medaglia di bronzo nel tiro di precisione.

Julien: «Ça vous dit de jouer aux boules?»
Franck: «Ouais ça pourrait être bien! Tu connais ça le jeu des boules Boubou?»
Boubou: «Ben je penses ont a pas la même version de jeu de boules…»

*************************

Ce que les Français appelent «Jouer aux boules» est en fait jouer à la pétanque. Et n’aller surtout pas dire que c’est «pépère» ou «ringard» puisqu’il s’agit d’un sport national.. et croyez moi, ils savent jouer! Sauf Fred…

Nice weekend? For the first time in a long while I managed to miss London Open House, thanks to a combination of laziness and Other Things Happening, although I did go to a great wedding reception in an LOH venue, Greenwich Yacht Club, which is a terrific little place – great views up and down the river – and comes highly recommended.

I also found myself playing pétanque in Deptford. No, seriously. The court, in Charlotte Turner Gardens, off Caravel Mews and Macmillan Street, only opened a couple of months ago, and I ambled along for a little Greenwich and Lewisham Green parties get-together. I hadn’t played since I was a child, but found myself enjoying it much more than I expected, although I wouldn’t exactly call myself world-class…

Anyhow, while we were playing, a chap ambled up to us and said it was the first time he’d seen anyone use the court – which is a shame, because it’s a fun game and quite easy to pick up. Boules can be hired from the Dog and Bell pub in nearby Prince Street, which also has loads of great real ales and a damn good Sunday night pub quiz. So, if you’re at a loose end and fancy stooping around like an old Frenchman while the weather’s still warm enough – you know where to go.

Vendredi 11 septembre :

20h : CRAMIGNON DES ANCIENS, départ de La Passerelle (RDV 19h45)

Tenue foncée en dessous, claire au-dessus avec le petit foulard dans le cou.

Samedi 12 septembre :

8h : PETIT DEJEUNER GRATUIT au bar de la fête.

De 6h à 15H : 20ème GRANDE BROCANTE au bar de la fête – 5€ l’emplacement

14h30 : CRAMIGNON DES JEUNES EN LONG (RDV à 14h00) – accompagnés par l’Harmonie Ste Cécile d’Emael suivis par les CRAMIGNONS DES ENFANTS (RDV à 14h30)

Départ de la salle  La Passerelle.

19h : Rentrée des cramignons à  La Passerelle.

Dès 21h30 : Bal convivial de l’AJAB animé par MEGALIGHT (entrée gratuite).

Dimanche 13 septembre :

10h : MESSE EN PLEIN AIR en WALLON au PETIT LOURDES

11h : à La Passerelle : APERITIF MUSICAL animé par Francine Malherbe, François Onclin et Eric Lefèbvre

12h : BARBECUE GEANT  – Adulte 11€ (PDT, crudités, brochette + saucisse)

                                                    – Enfant 6€ (PDT, crudités, saucisse)

Inscription indispensable !

14h : GRAND TOURNOI DE PETANQUE  (6€/adulte – 3€/enfant)

                                                                                   Pass. adulte : pétanque + repas : 14€/pers.

15h : KARAOKE au bar de la fête foraine

18h : remise des prix du karaoké.

Inscriptions pour les cramignons des enfants : N. Hardy (0476/ 23  53 01) ou P. Willems (04/286 15 38)

Inscriptions pour le cramignon des jeunes en long  : A. Onclin (04/286 29 02) ou V. Bettonville (04/286 24 57)

Inscriptions barbecue et pétanque : M. Malherbe  (04/286 44 35)

Infos brocante et karaoké : J. Deborre (04/286 27 12)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lhOQdqAWsU

http://www.francinemalherbe.c.la/

View from the terrace

Our little gîte was positioned on a high plain north of the city of Pézenas. The tiny village, Fouzilhon, in the Hérault département, is situated on a hill with a medieval church positioned on the summit. The old house formed part of an ancient terrace of houses, evidently built haphazardly over the centuries with that shabby-chic quality that is signally french.

Inside we found the usual: curiously uneven and uncarpeted floors, high ceilings, a strange agglomeration of mismatching furniture, a fairly new IKEA kitchen (of the type referred to in french property classifieds as cuisine américaine, but I have yet to see a kitchen in the USA quite like one of these), first class coffee-making equipment, dark unexpected cubbyholes, lumpy noisy beds, beautiful vistas from blue-shuttered windows, and flies, everywhere.

This would be our family home for the next week.

Despite the flies, which we never completely managed to get rid of, it proved to be an excellent base for the bulk of our family time together dans le Midi; there was a large above-ground pool, situated on a terraced slope facing the house, a sun deck above that, and an area for barbecuing and outdoor dining, all with spectacular views over the vine-clad plateau which surrounded us.

Choosing olives in Grau d'Agde market

During our time there, apart from the inevitable and essential trips to Lidl, Carrefour, and various local markets, we paid several enjoyable visits to the beautiful & quaint town of Pézenas, once made famous by the playwright Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622-1673) better known as Molière (the nom-de-plume he used probably to save his family the embarrassment of a relative associated with the theatre).

He was based here in the 1650s and although Jean-Baptiste was born in Paris, Molière was effectively born in Pézenas, as Pagnol is famous for quipping.

We discovered this gem of a town whilst on holiday in this region with the Shilling family last year. We had gone there in search of moules-frites, and were very successful. But after dinner, and literally just around the corner from where we were sitting, we had also stumbled across a labyrinth of narrow winding lanes, overlooked by grand edifices, tall timeworn buildings containing a vast selection of tiny bazaars, boutiques, emporiums and galleries displaying local arts, crafts and cuisine.

Ambling through the lanes of Pézenas

From time to time a wander up one of these alleyways would lead you to an open plaza with street musicians, bars, bistros and cafés spilling out on to the cobbled road where old and young mingled together, all a joyful hubbub and hullabaloo. It was a totally un-British phenomenon. There were crowds of people but it was not crowded. Moreover it was around 11pm and the place was sill thronging with families, singles, youths, senior citizens, tourists and locals happily dining, shopping, civilly drinking, laughing, thoroughly enjoying the night and each other’s company.

Unfortunately last year we only discovered Pézenas on our very last night! We kicked ourselves that we had been so close – even shopped at the Lidl on the outskirts of the town several times during our stay – and yet had missed the magic of the centre.

Like St Guilhem-le-Désert and Carcassonne, the French have managed to retain in Pézenas that sense that nothing has really changed for centuries. You would not be surprised to turn a corner and find Molière and his acting troupe entertaining a crowd with L’Avare.

It is in fact an historic Roman market town so it’s been around for nearly two millenia. It was probably famous for its fish; the inhabitants to this day are known as piscenois (cf. French piscine – meaning ’swimming pool’ orginally from the Latin piscis – a fish). Hey! Yes, I know. That’s enough etymology.

Well, we made up for it this year.

Jazz trio entertaining near the Hotel de Ville

We went a several times by day and by night, enjoying the sights and sounds; some great jazz one evening as we sat and ate dinner, a brilliant young lady vocalist, some traditional accordion music another time down one street, which – despite the fact that the accordion is to hell what the harp is to heaven – seemed quite pleasant and appropriate after a pastis and a decent helping of cassoulet.

Like other towns nearby a popular, bustling market is held one certain days during the week, virtually taking over many of the streets and squares and selling about anything you care to imagine along with some useful and tasty things.

Nearer the centre of town there is a large pétanque area where you can witness all the generations demonstrating their skills with the metal boules, causing them to make what I used to think was a “p’tunk!” sound giving the game an onomatopœic name. However it actually comes from the old Langue d’Oc tongue mentioned earlier; a phrase [peds ancas] meaning ‘feet anchored’. [Profuse apologies! Inadvertantly dipped into etymology again.]

One of the Pézenas highlights for Lucy, Grace and Emily was an offbeat little ice-cream parlour selling its special glaces à pétales – ice-creams and sorbets deftly sculptured into the shape of flower petals – which became a regular dessert!

Dialogues de la vidéo : c’est ici !

C’EST QUOI LA PÉTANQUE OU LE JEU DE BOULES ?

La pétanque -ou “le jeu de boules” comme l’appelle la majorité des français- se joue avec des boules en acier de 650 à 800 grammes, diamètre de 7,05 à 8 centimètres ; et un cochonnet ou bouchon (mots populaires – “bouchon” étant plus méridional) ou un but (mot professionnel) : une petite boule en bois, plus exactement en buis de 2,5 cm à 3,5 cm.

Je vous conseille de jeter un oeil sur ce site de “La boule bleue” (fabricant de boules de pétanque). L’histoire du jeu de pétanque y est racontée très bien.

A COMBIEN ON JOUE ET QU’ELLES SONT LES RÈGLES ?

Les règles du jeu sont assez simples mais ce jeu demande de la concentration et de l’adresse. On lance le cochonnet d’abord et l’objectif est de se placer le plus près possible avec ses boules près du cochonnet en pointant, dégommant, faisant des carreaux sur les boules des adversaires. 

La pétanque, contrairement à la vidéo ci-dessus (qui est le “jeu provençal”- voir en fin d’article), se joue à l’arrêt, les pieds joints. On trace un rond sur le sol entre 30 et 50 centimètres, et on commence à jouer. Pétanque veut dire en langue occitane : pèd = pieds  et tancar : stopper

Essayez de jouer aux boules sur votre ordinateur !

Avec combien de personnes peut-on jouer à ce jeu ?  A 2 en “tête à tête”, à 4 “en doublette” 2 contre 2, ou à 6 “en triplette” 3 contre 3…si vous voulez en savoir plus sur les règles qui sont simples, je vous renvoie à nouveau vers le site “La boule bleue”!

C’est un jeu convivial qui a l’avantage de faire participer toute la famille du plus jeune au plus vieux. Bonne ambiance assurée !

Pour tous les âges je vous dis même à 105 ans ! Interview de la vielle dame c’est là !

 C’est aussi un jeu reconnu comme un sport avec des compétitions internationales. Il a été introduit par les Romains sur notre sol en Gaule -ancien nom de la France-  (après être passé par l’Egypte et la Grèce). A travers l’histoire, les boules ont été en argile, en pierre, en bois et maintenant en acier.

LE VOCABULAIRE PARTICULIER À LA PÉTANQUE

TU TIRES OU TU POINTES ?

POINTER

C’est lancer la boule avec adresse pour s’approcher au plus près du cochonnet. On est dans le cercle tracé au sol et on lance sa boule accroupi ou debout

 TIRER

C’est lancer la boule avec force en visant une boule particulièrement de façon à la déplacer.

                                                                               Faire un carreau en tirant

c’est prendre la place d’une autre boule

comme ça ↓

Le texte du reportage c’est là !

“EMBRASSER FANNY ” – “BAISER FANNY” – “ÊTRE FANNY”

Pour le folklore et certains respectent encore cette tradition, si une équipe gagne par 13 points à 0 alors l’équipe perdante doit embrasser le cul de Fanny . Il s’agit de faire un bisou sur la représentation des fesses de Fanny en statuette ou sur un tableau. Mais pour en savoir plus sur cette étrange habitude  je vous laisse lire l’origine de cette habitude qui ne vient pas de Provence et je vous propose de voir un extrait du film “Le temps des amours” d’après le livre de Marcel Pagnol.

Mais que vous jouiez bien ou mal vous aurez sans doute le droit de boire  “pastis” (ou le Pastaga comme on dit dans le sud-est) qui va avec la partie de boules (pour les non-professionnels évidemment). 

En 2007 

CENTENAIRE DU MONDIAL À PÉTANQUE à MARSEILLE 

Une vidéo sur le centenaire de “La Marseillaise” – le Mondial de la Pétanque qui se déroule tous les ans au parc Borelly à MARSEILLE (au tout début, ce sont des “people” qui ouvrent le Mondial)

 TOUT SUR “LA MARSEILLAISE” CETTE ANNÉE 2009

 Voir le site F3 dédié à “La Marseillaise” 

AUTRES JEUX DE BOULES MOINS POPULAIRES

LE JEU PROVENÇAL (PRESQUE LA PÉTANQUE !)

Le jeu provençal “la longue” se distingue de la pétanque principalement par le terrain qui est beaucoup plus long (jusqu’à 24 mètres de long) et la manière de lancer la boule. Là on prend trois pas d’élan pour la lancer comme dans la première vidéo ci-dessus.

LA BOULE LYONNAISE

La boule lyonnaise (moins connue des français) qui n’est pas la pétanque est un jeu de boules beaucoup plus sportif car il nécessite de courir et le rythme est assez soutenu. Je vous laisse découvrir la vidéo explicative ci-dessus.

LA BOULE DE FORT

Originaire de la région d’Anjou (centre de la France – ville principale ANGERS). Il se joue sur un terrain qui n’est pas plat avec des boules qui ne sont pas rondes et en plus AVEC DES CHAUSSONS (des charentaises) !! et surtout avec humour et décontraction comme tous les jeux de boules…pardon les sports de boules.

Une balle tombant sur la ligne est considérée bonne.

Si la balle ne touche pas le sol c’est l’adversaire qui a le point.

*let= Lorsque la balle touche le filet et qu’elle tombe dans le camp adverse.

Chaque équipe est composée de deux joueurs évoluant sur le terrain  et le filet a une hauteur identique qu’au volley-ball

On marque un point sur chaque ballon joué. L’équipe qui marque le point remporte également le droit de servir .

Le match se joue en deux sets gagnants (le premier qui arrive à 21 points remporte le set avec deux points d’écart), le troisième set  se joue en 15 points .

Chaque équipe dispose de trois contacts avant de renvoyer la balle . Chaque contact, doit consister en une frappe nette de celle-ci.

Le ballon peut être frappé avec n’importe quelle partie du corps.

Au handball, l’équipier qui joue le ballon doit être constamment en mouvement. Une fois qu’il a le ballon en main, il ne peut le garder plus de trois secondes, il doit se déplacer d’un maximum de trois pas s’il garde le ballon en main ou de plus, mais en dribblant.

Le but du jeu est de renvoyer en frappant les indiacas dans le camps  adverse. Ce jeu se joue en frappant avec la paume de la main. il est interdit d’ utiliser les pieds. Chaque équipe a 3 minutes.

Un indiaca est un objet de la forme d’une fléchette d’environ +/- 20 cm avec un embout en plastique.

Les joueurs de hockey doivent avoir le contrôle des passes et des frappes qu’ils effectuent et doivent savoir arrêter les balles à l’aide de la crosse.

Les joueurs contrôlent la balle uniquement à l’aide de la face intérieure plate de leur stick. Il est interdit de se servir de leurs pieds ou de toute autre partie du corps.  Sauf pour le gardien de but qui, quand il se trouve dans sa zone et qu’il essaie de repousser l’attaque de l’adversaire, il peut utiliser n’importe quelle partie du corps, en plus de son stick afin d’empêcher l’équipe adverse de marquer un but.

Un but est marqué dès que la balle a pénétré dans la cage de l’adversaire. Elle doit être touchée par le joueur attaquant à l’intérieur de la zone de tir.

Si le but a été marqué au-delà de la ligne de but, alors le but n’est pas accepté.

Le badminton se joue à deux ou à quatre à l’aide d’un volant que l’on doit faire passer d’un côté à l’autre du filet sans faire de fautes (volant qui tombe en dehors des lignes ou qui touche le plafond). Celui qui a le volant dans sa partie de jeu perd le point.(source : wikipédia )

Les points sont marqués en faisant tomber le ballon sur le terrain de l’équipe adverse. La première équipe à atteindre 25 points (avec 2 points d’écart) gagne le set et la première équipe à gagner trois sets gagne le match. Dans le cas d’un score à 2 sets partout, les équipes jouent un 5e set (le set décisif).

Chaque équipe peut toucher le ballon jusqu’à trois fois avant qu’il ne retraverse le filet, et les contacts consécutifs doivent être faits par des joueurs différents. Le ballon est joué avec les mains ou les bras, mais les joueurs ont le droit de toucher le ballon avec n’importe quelle autre partie du corps.

la pétanque peut se par deux équipes de trois, deux ou un dans tout les cas les six boules sont utilisées le cochonnet est lancée par une des deux équipes . Le but est de lancer les boules pour les rapprocher du cochonnet. L’équipe qui a une boule le plus près du cochonnet.