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Stuck On: 'The Ballad of Throat Culture' by Phoebe Kreutz

fluorescentfate — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 04:15:27 +0000

Today I’m stuck on: “The Ballad of Throat Culture” by Phoebe Kreutz

Here’s yet another witty ditty by the lovely Ms. Kreutz that won’t stop running through my head. It’s not the sort of song you can sing in the office, though I must admit that I wanted to.

I wish I was in a band
Being a solo singer makes me blue
So if you wanna join my band
Here’s what I can offer you

We’d be called throat culture and we’d start off small
We’d play in Scranton, Pennsylvania at the Shriners Hall
We’d get discovered at a smoky bar
By some British guy named Nigel
Says he’ll make us all a star

And we say: ‘Fuck that, man
We’re not about the fame
We don’t need to suck like Creed
Or someone just as lame
All across the land
‘Cuz we’re a rock ‘n’ roll band’

So Nigel talks us in, move to LA
In the studio be slavin’ every night and every day
Until the label says we should replace
Our funny-lookin’ bassist with a marketable face

And we say: ‘Fuck that, man
No, man, don’t even try
Bob’s been with us since we started
We don’t mind his lazy eye
Or his disfigured hand
‘Cuz we’re a rock ‘n’ roll band’

So Bob’s replacement guy is called ‘The Blade’
He’s always wearing leather and he’s always getting laid
We share our Vicodin, he shares cocaine
By the time the tour is started, no one’s feeling any pain
The label named the tour ‘The Tour of Doom’
But they kick all the teenagers out of the dressing room
These girls are old enough to throw bras on stage
But we’re not supposed to love them because they’re underage

And we say: ‘Fuck that, man
We’re all about our people
I don’t need to see her id
When I can clearly see her neeple
Plus, she’s nicely tanned
And we’re a rock ‘n’ roll band’

I develop a heroin addiction
You develop an aversion to the sun
We both contract a syphilis affliction
Now tell me if that doesn’t sound like fun

I’m always so coked up, I’m missing shows
I get so wasted at the Grammys, I punch J-Lo in the nose
When we play Omaha we start a riot
But you get pissed when I throw Nigel through the window at the Hyatt
You come to my place to intervene
You find me hanging by the pool house, shooting smack with Ben Vereen
You say I’ve gone downhill since rags to riches
It used to be about the homies, now it’s all about the bitches

And I say: ‘Fuck you, man
You motherfuckin’ sellout
You were nothing when I found you at Culturefloss?
Now get the hell out
Don’t you know who I am?
Get the fuck out of my rock’ n’ roll band!’

So if you wanna join my band
Do all the things that I have planned
Leave your number, ‘cuz you can clearly see
That you oughta be
In a rock n’ roll band with me

Hillstock 2009 Brooklyn DIY Festival: June 5-7

fluorescentfate — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 21:48:49 +0000

Bonnaroo is too damn expensive and I’ve already seen a ton of the artists at NXNE, so what’s a New York City girl to do for a music festival in June? Enjoy some Brooklyn DIY goodness at Hillstock, of course! With a $15 wristband and a MetroCard, you can see more than 40 independent Brooklyn artists this weekend.

Get more info about the artists, download a song sampler and look up rain locations at the official Hillstock Web site.

[FIVE TO SEE]
Air Waves Lyrical ♥: “Oh, oh, oh I’m gonna be the lightning that strikes down your tree.”
Emilyn Broadsky A mashup of Kimya Dawson and vegan red velvet cupcakes.
Kittens Ablaze Not like I’m for setting kittens on fire or anything, but this ensemble totally burns with raw talent. haha
Laura Stevenson and The Cans A voice that floats above the sound.
Phoebe Kreutz Witty, popsy folk that will keep your feet tapping “All Summer Long.”

[SCHEDULE]
Friday, June 5th
ROOFTOP KICKOFF PARTY
967 BERGEN STREET (roof)
[ C-Train to Franklin ]
04:30 PM DOORS
05:30 PM Chase Manhattan
06:00 PM Radiates
06:30 PM Bad Credit, No Credit
07:00 PM Banzai
07:30 PM The Mighty Handful
08:00 PM Kittens Ablaze
08:30 PM Spooktober
09:00 PM No One and the Somebodies
09:30 PM Michael Jordan
10:00 PM Eskalators
10:30 PM No Courage
11:00 PM Screaming Females

Saturday, June 6th
BACKYARD BBQ
106 EMERSON PLACE (backyard)
[ G-Train to Classon ]
10:30 AM DOORS
11:00 AM The Honey Dos
12:00 PM Grass Widow
01:00 PM GunFight!
02:00 PM Ism Jisms
03:00 PM Many Mansions
04:00 PM Submarine Spaceship
05:00 PM You Can Be a Wesley
06:00 PM Ava Luna
07:00 PM Air Waves
08:00 PM The Toothaches
09:00 PM Stupid Party
10:00 PM Max Levine Ensemble
11:00 PM Bomb The Music Industry!

SUNDAY, June 7th
ROOFTOP FOLK-A-THON
402 Park Avenue (roof)
[ G-Train to Classon ]
12:00 PM DOORS
01:00 PM Good Night & Good Morning
01:30 PM Twin Cats
02:00 PM Drew and the Medicinal Pen
02:30 PM Vultures
03:00 PM Hanz Bronze
03:30 PM Peace, Loving
04:00 PM Cabinet of Natural Curiosities
04:30 PM Elizabeth Butters
05:00 PM Those Galloping Hordes
05:30 PM A.W. Feldt
06:00 PM Shai Erlichman
06:30 PM ACLU Benefit
07:00 PM Laura Stevenson and The Cans
07:30 PM Emilyn Brodsky
08:00 PM Phoebe Kreutz
08:30 PM Don Lennon
09:00 PM Archipelago

———————————————–

Click Song for Savefile Download Link
“Lightning” – Air Waves
“Always Mean It” – Emilyn Broadsky
“Doom Gloom Buttercups” – Kittens Ablaze
“A Shine To It” – Laura Stevenson & The Cans
“All Summer Long” – Phoebe Kreutz

Hui, was für eine Woche

Treas — Fri, 16 May 2008 15:48:43 +0000

Kommen wir zuerst zum Schlechten: Ich trinke nicht mehr und esse auch kein Fleisch. Fünf Tage nun begehe ich schon diese Ausgeburt an Vernunft und schaue gebannt der Grillsaison, sowie dem Immergutfestival in 2 Wochen entgegen.

Viel schlimmer ist, und hiermit komme ich schon zum wöchentlichen Abendgestaltungstipp, dass am Samstag im MAU Club der kabelblume Geburtstag begangen wird. Mit dabei sind die ollen Indie – Haudegen Kate Mosh und Luke. Getanze wird es danach wohl auch geben (ebenso Kuchen!). Auflegen werden neben dem Indiepapst das Knäcke Kollektief, das mit ohne team sowie das elektro in die fresse team. Geballer, Geballer. Ob mein nüchternes, zerbrechliches Gemüt das noch aushält, werden wir sehen. Jedenfalls sollte man da unbedingt hingehen.

Nebenbei waren die letzten 2 Wochen teils amüsant. Wie eine kleine Schar Eingeweihter bemerkte, hatte ich letzte Woche Geburtstag. Neben dem 1. Mai und einem wunderbaren Gisbert zu Knyphausen Konzert in Berlin und einer vollkommen verpatzen NoFidelity Party stach jedoch auch noch ein weiteres Highlight im bisherigen Maiverlauf heraus: Der Antifolkabend am 11. an Bord des Zappelkahns. Phoebe Kreutz und ChingChongSong haben sich mittlerweile in mein persönliches Popwalhalla gespielt und glücklicherweise konnten wir sämtliche anwesenden Bands noch auf einen Absacker in das Tal der fliegenden Fäuste bewegen, welches pflichtbewusst 4 Uhr verlassen wurde. Zu erwähnen sei hiermit, dass in Form von Phoebe Kreutz die erste wahrhafte Emmy – Gewinnerin (für Puppen in der amerik. Sesamstraße) , oder überhaupt berühmte Person, die Schwelle zum Cafe Median überquerte – und trotzdem am Kicker verlor.

Spitzen Abend. Zum Schluß sei erwähnt, dass ein paar neue Links rechterseit dazu gekommen sind.

Have fun, stay tuned, safety third!