Season 3

“That was less…” = “What’s the matter?”

a Primal Root review

“It is truly, The Muppet Chain Saw Massacre.” – Harlan Ellison, Harlan Ellison’s Watching, Underwood-Miller, 1989 Page 198

It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Carol, the list of classic, heart warming family friendly Christmas movies is an extensive one. Growing up as a child of the 80’s we were shown such images of Christmas miracles, happy families, the gigantic honey glazed ham dinner served to a smiling family sitting warm around the dinner table. Everyone within the film and the audiences watching safe in the knowledge that no matter how bad things get it will turn out all right in the end. But eventually the movie stops and we have to face the grim reality of the holiday season.

Only one film in my childhood recollection completely broke the image I had ingrained into my head of the perfect family Christmas. What happened to this image? Where did the American Dream go so completely awry? This is the question at the core of Joe Dante’s subversive, goopy, violent, nasty little horror film entitled Gremlins.

The film itself is a satire of mid-80’s consumer America. A time when the yuppies reigned supreme, those of us in the dwindling middle class were screwed as work became harder to find and a dark form of mischief finds its way into the homes of both the wealthy and underprivileged alike in the form of the scaly, razor fanged, red eyed Gremlins. A dark reminder of that our actions and carelessness can have the most dire of consequences.

Gremlins looks to almost take place in an updated version of a picturesque, old fashioned, Norman Rockwell town. An American town where values such as self reliance, independence, and personal responsibility have been completely twisted in our pursuit of easy money. It’s a world where the junior vice-president of the town bank dreams of becoming a millionaire by the time he’s 35 and only finds value in his new apartment (it even has Cable TV!). It’s a place where the nasty, self indulgent rich, preach responsibility but cannot be asked to help save a family about to be evicted on Christmas.

Here, everything is a commodity to be bought or sold. Every resource can be tapped for possible exploitation. Even the Mogwai of which Mr. Peltzer makes the observation, “I bet every kid in America would want to have one of these. This could really be the big one!” looks at little Gizmo in terms of economic value rather than a living being.

Lil' Gizmo. Cute? You bet. Just make sure to follow the rules.

Obviously this is the era of the “Get Rich Quick” scheme. Mr. Peltzer has given up gainful employment to be a full time inventor trying to dream up the next “big thing” that will provide for he and his family the rest of their days. It’s Western civilizations dream of making money without ever truly having to work for it. Only the wise Asian Grandfather, representing non-American values, seems to sadly understand the monetary obsessed culture he is living in.

“Sold?” he asks, after Mr. Peltzer makes an inquiry into how he originally obtained Gizmo. “That’s an interesting choice of words.” His meaning is apparent. That life is not something you can buy or sell and Gizmo, of course, is a living creature.

Gremlins is an incredibly thoughtful horror film in the guise of family entertainment. It even manages to poke fun and ridicule everything we hold dear in Western Civilization. Gizmo is forced to wave an American flag, and the Grandfather is horrified to learn Gizmo has been taught to watch television. After all, isn’t that what passes for culture these days?

Possibly my favorite moment in the movie, the one that altered my take on Christmas forever, is the scene in which there’s a lull in the action and Pheobe Cates character recalls the disturbing and tragic story of her father’s disappearance and demise many Christmas ago. He was found several days after Christmas lodged in the chimney, dead, having broken his neck. Dressed as Santa. In a deeply dark and satirical film this scene alone is hands down the darkest. No Gremlins, no mauling, no chain saw attacks…more to the point, I believe this scene mocks sentimentality itself. A trait Steven Spielberg is all too familiar with. However, to Spielberg’s credit, despite everyone else demanding this scene be excised from the film, he allowed Joe Dante to make the final decision. Thankfully, Joe Dante was able to keep this remarkably powerful and disturbing sequence.

Gremlins also works on the level of a message movie about the use of our natural resources. The Mogwai, Gizmo, is friendly, cute and unspoiled, but when we don’t follow the rules (getting them wet, exposing them to bright lights and most especially feeding them after midnight) you are left with something far more perverted, sinister and harmful. Grandfather tells Billy and the viewing audience that American people would do with Mogwai what “Society has done with all natural gifts.” What he’s talking about is an American ideal. We’d sell them, buy them and make a killing.

Stripe. The Gremlin you don't want to fuck with.

But above all this Gremlins is a hellishly good time! It’s dangerous, gruesome and overt he top. Another favorite scene is when Billy’s Mother must do battle with the recently hatched batch of Gremlins run amuck in her house using all the tools she has around the house including blenders, knives and microwave ovens spewing Gremlin guts all over the good china. This stuff is sick. I remember watching the film as a child and my mind simply reeling at this. People were being ripped, beaten, strangled, bitten and even killed by these malicious little Gremlins. But slowly a smile came across my face as I realized what a joke it all was. These idealized American Christmas traditions. The fact that the final battle between Stripe, Billy and Gizmo takes place inside a shopping center filled to the brim with hollow consumer goodies can’t be a coincidence.

Joe Dante’s Gremlins proudly takes those Christmas traditions so many hold dear and shove them right where the sun don’t shine. Gremlins, you ruined Christmas for a generation of 80’s kids. And I cannot thank you enough.

Your truly,
-The Primal Root

Greta Alison (Lily)

Olive Audrey

Alex Chloe (Jack)

Bess (Ella)

Haidee Elaine & Alyssa Rose (Lucas)

Iris Vita (Harriet, Phoebe)

Vivien Rosemary (Lily)

Helena Antoinette

Lauren & Honor ( Lucia)

Olive Elizabeth (George)

Elsie-May Ellen (Bailey, Ephraim & Marita)

Polly Frances

Aurelia Grace (Isabelle)

Portia Alice

Neve Jennifer (Rylee, Fletcher)

Penny Mary (Hamish, Felicity)

Sacha Tui

Kahlan Lillias (Hayden)

Maggie Iris Rosa (Ruby)

Freyah Lily (Tahlia)

Sabrina Mary

Elsie Olivia (Joel)

Milla Juno (Bodie)

Maeve Ellen (Cormac)

Sidney (Lennox & Munro)

Hugo John

Jasper Stan (Jonty & Tilly)

George Banjo (Hugo)

Tahere Hunter

Albie Murphy

Jack & Keygan (Thomas)

Wilhelm David

Josiah James

Jag Archie

Edward Montgomery (Benji & Samuel)

Wilfred Otis (Theo)

Deaths

Rosanna Jane, Adeline Anne, Sally Elizabeth, Grace Muriel, Margaret Winifred, Ruby Evelyn, Sylvia Winifred, Adele Mary, Violet Hope, Hazel Margaret, Beatrice Mary, Helen Adeline,

Hector Leslie, George Basil, Quentin Phillip, Henry Percival, Leo Charles, Archibald Ralph, Sydney Benjamin.

Aurelia, Audrey, Beatrix, Cassia, Cordelia, Dulcia, Eulalia, Freya, Holly,  India, Imogen, Isadora, Imala, Inez, Kezia,  Lucretia, Mabel, Novella, Orla, Olive, Olympia, Poppy, Penelope, Polly, Phoebe, Rhea, Saffron, Saskia, Tatiana, Tuscany, Tallulah, Thora, Thea, Vivienne, Vienna, Vera, Willa, Wren, Willona, Zora, Ziva, Azura, Aviva.

Ambrose, Arthur, Barnaby, Baxter, Cole, Dexter, Emmett, Emilian, Felix, Gulliver, Harvey, Ivor, Jasper, Lucian, Lysander, Malachi, Moss, Oakley, Orlando, Perrin, Rowan, Rain, River, Sommett, Tybalt, Troy, Thor, Thorn, Tychius, Vincent, Wilbur.

Hey everyone!

I apologise as it’s been a while since my last post! Just thought I’d give a really quick update on how the poll is going. So far 71 people have voted. Thank you for your votes!!! It’s exciting hearing other peoples’ ideas and inspires me for more interesting prints. Since the poll a couple of people have emailed me and let me know what they like and are waiting to see what’s online so they can make a purchase. All I need to do is actually start designing So here are the results from the 71 votes…drum roll please…. 

Here are the results from the Poll!

So there are more results too! Quite a few people made suggestions which is great! The more specific the better hehe  My absolute favourite is a “Centaur punching a unicorn in the face” and “Retro cartoons like superted.” Omg what a crack up!  

So thanks so much to everyone who voted. (More votes welcome at any stage as I’m always interested in new ideas!) I’ll keep working on the designs and send out another poll for voting on designs soon!

Have an awesome Christmas!

Suggestions from others!

• Hold on a sec
• What would you like to do today?
• If you lay down calmly I can change your diaper faster
• Which outfit do you like best?
• You’re lucky because you don’t have to do the laundry
• Christmas is coming!
• We’re almost there

肥豬！生日快樂！

*

15/12/2009

Sorry for not able to celebrate your birthday with you this year.

(well, we are equal now, right? You cant celebrate my birthday with me this year, and I cant celebrate your birthday with you too! Hehehe!)

But you are slightly better than me. You know why? Because at least  you have a cake on your birthday, but me? I DON’T even have a cake! My birthday falls on the first day of my exams. Ain’t cool at all! Sigh. Anyways, thats not important after all. Exams are more important than birthday, right? Hehehe!

Hope you have a wonderful birthday.

Im sure daddy will take a lot of pics tonight right? Remember to sent me some NICE pics okay? I want to see what I have missed out. Hmph! and Oh yeah, please, sent me a pic of your cake too!  You know I miss eating cakeeeeeeee! Cheese and fruit cakes! Yummy!

Once again,

Happy birthday 豬豬!  I love you!

See you next month!

OH YEA!

Before that,

please clean my room and put all my things back to shape before I get back!

Foods Phoebe has eaten so far:

• sweet potato
• avocado
• pear
• apple
• rice cereal
• banana
• yogurt (new!)

Foods Phoebe has loved so far:

• see above

Season 2

Your now weekly F.R.I.E.N.D.S fix

I LOVE the whole end bit between Phoebe and Joey in Central Perk

HA HA HA

This is the world where you will never be sad, even if you are sad, you wont be any more. This is the place that will be open for you forever, no time restrictions no financial restrictions. This is the world of FRIENDS.

Friends is the funniest sitcom in the history of television. It is the funniest show I have ever seen (and I have seen a LOT!). These are the people who will never leave your side. They will never ditch you. Even if all of your real friends betray you or look down at you, they will never leave your side…… they will always BE THERE FOR YOU!

I have seen the friends series more than five times, but still I enjoy seeing it again and again. It never gets old, and it never will, I promised myself that I’ll be watching friends will I grow old.

If you are one of the millions of fans of friends then please join me in this wonderful ride (by commenting or reading) where I’ll be telling my views and everything I know about friends.

If you are new to FRIENDS then get the DVDs or turn on the TV, call up your friends, get yourself some beer and pizzas and sit back and enjoy FRIENDS with your friends. Get ready for mind blowing comedy, witty sarcasm and amazing stories and to know the 6 most fascinating people on this earth.

In my next post I’ll be introducing you with the characters and the story or FRIENDS….

Sophie (parents Catherine & Jon)

Summer (parents Justine & Tim, sister to Lukas)

Elsie (parents Felicity & Craig, sister to Joel)

Noah (parents Maree & Dean, brother to India)

Sophie (parents Phoebe & Andrew)

Halim (parents Scott & Andrea)

Benjamin (parents Tania & Paul)

For all you F.R.I.E.N.D.S fans, sit back, relax and enjoy this treat.

Made me LAUGH OUT LOUD.

Season 1

Isaac Yzaguirre - Austin

I don’t mention music often, but every day seems to have a song that’s put on replay, maddening everyone around me. Today’s musical juxtaposition consists of “Dirtywhirl” by TV on the Radio (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWwwcSsSOvc) and of Tom Waits’ “Blue Valentines.” I’d shelved the two for several months, mainly to forget the events and people those songs represent, but listening to them today is like donning a stretched-out, cozy, and slightly moldy-smelling sweater. Nostalgic and mildly bittersweet. The lyrics to “Blue Valentines” are poetry in their own right, describing the regret-filled memories that dog me; “Dirtywhirl” recalls the girl I was only a year ago: shy, curious, young, naive, and slightly delusional.

Tom Waits
Blue Valentine (1978)
Blue Valentine

She sends me blue valentines
All the way from Philadelphia
To mark the anniversary
Of someone that I used to be
And it feels just like there’s
A warrant out for my arrest
Got me checkin in my rearview mirror
And I’m always on the run
That’s why I changed my name
And I didn’t think you’d ever find me here

To send me blue valentines
Like half forgotten dreams
Like a pebble in my shoe
As I walk these streets
And the ghost of your memory
Is the thistle in the kiss
And the burgler that can break a roses neck
It’s the tatooed broken promise
That I hide beneath my sleeve
And I see you every time I turn my back

She sends me blue valentines
Though I try to remain at large
They’re insisting that our love
Must have a eulogy
Why do I save all of this madness
In the nightstand drawer
There to haunt upon my shoulders
Baby I know
I’d be luckier to walk around everywhere I go
With a blind and broken heart
That sleeps beneath my lapel

She sends me my blue valentines
To remind me of my cardinal sin
I can never wash the guilt
Or get these bloodstains off my hands
And it takes a lot of whiskey
To take this nightmares go away
And I cut my bleedin heart out every nite
And I die a little more on each St. Valentines day
Remember that I promised I would
Write you…
These blue valentines
Blue valentines
Blue valentines

MC Rock - NYC

MC Rock - NYC

MC Rock - NYC

MC Rock - NYC

In light of music… Phoebe (with whom I just spent a week in Chicago) and I met at Interlochen Arts Camp the summer when we were twelve. I attended for piano performance and she for vocal performance, and we were placed in the same Michigan cabin. She later attended the boarding school (for writing) and when I asked about the experience, she recalled “teenagers having frigid sex in the practice rooms [in the woods]“. I clapped my hands delightedly and said, “That’s perfect! Because there were always chipmunks having sex in the pianos when I was there. I’d come in and just beat on the keys for a bit to scare the crap out of them.” Anyway, Phoebe has recently dusted off her fantastic voice and created a youtube channel. This is what she asked me to post, were I to write about her: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtwReLj9hto . And… here’s the drunken Lady Gaga rendition she recorded while I was curled around my phone in her basement: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMiANug0rRs . And an outtake, at which I’m heard loudly laughing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik-ITjUuu0o .

Yes, that’s what I did in Chicago. And I shot with Jeffrey David Cohn, which I’d been longing to do since I began to model. And I ate at a Ukrainian deli. And I finally spent time with girls.

Pictures taken from Pullip.net. I am not exactly sure who is responsible from the photography while I am grateful for the pictures, the photographer could probably benefit from a better camera ^^;.

The November/December/January releases- Nothing earth-shattering here. I am personally very excited Naomi and Edge are currently in the mail at the moment and I simply must have Richt when funds become available.

The January/ February/ Possible March releases- I am really looking forward to Feb’s, the more pictures I see the more I want all three. This picture seems to be confirming Dal Pinocchio, Byul Dumbo and another Audrey pullip for March. I am not sure if this Audrey is based on her portrayal of the title character from Sabrina or not as I am not familiar with the film, but there was a rumor floating around that a pullip based on her portrayal of that character was going to be the March release so I am kind of assuming it is ^^; . I still hate Byul but I so want the Dumbo Byul’s stock as I love elephants and Dumbo was one of my favorite movies as a kid.

Prototypes- A bunch of byul prototypes in the front some that I haven’t seen before, some that I have. I’ve noticed a lot of the byul prototype stock is nicer than some of the dals recently ^^; I think they may be trying to entice people over to the byul side. The Egyptian dal seems to be joined by an Egyptian pullip prototype, it’s kind of an interesting concept. I am not exactly sure what the other pullip prototype is at this point, is it supposed to be a Gypsy or something?

Doll Carnival Limiteds- Jouet, Isolde and newcomer Chantilly who is being released at this year’s doll carnival.

10 serii… S-au terminat! Timp de vreo 2 luni am urmarit aproape zilnic povestea celor 6 prieteni (Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, Joey). In unele ipostaze ma recunoasteam (bine, asta mi se intampla la multe filme), altele ma amuzau teribil. Aseara, cand se apropia de sfarsit, parca imi venea sa plang. Ma gandeam: la ce ma mai uit eu?! ce o sa ma mai faca asa sa rad?!

Frumos serial, te “rupe” de problemele cotidiene, iti aduce zambetul pe buze inevitabil, ba chiar te face sa razi in hohote uneori. Sunt povesti de dragoste, povesti care iti umezesc ochii, povesti care te tin cu sufletul la gura.

O sa imi lipseasca serialul, noroc ca il am pe dvd-uri si pot sa il revad oricad caci: “You can never have enough Friends!”.

“Master!” Mikal screamed. He dropped to his knees beside Captain Colonomos. As he reached for her hands, Captain Hummel blocked another attack from the same oni-like beast that had attacked her.

Floros growled in exasperation. She took up a position on Mikal’s other side. “Can you help her?” she shouted.

Mikal was already looking her over, but I didn’t have time to spare to see what exactly he was doing or to guess if he would be successful. I blocked an attack from a spider, striking its abdomen with the blunt end of my staff.

At the same moment that the spider let out a shriek of pain, I heard a cry of anguish. I spun around, just in time to see Colonomos’s body dissolve in a shower of light. Mikal clutched her empty, bloody gown to his chest. I froze for a moment.

“Eisa!”

Someone shoved me to one side and I stumbled and spun back to face the attackers. Muller shot me a grimace. “We’ll protect the women and Mikal. Get after Lady Astraea!”

I nodded once. “Be careful,” I said. I hesitated just long enough to see Muller’s nod of assent. Then I ran towards the place where Lady Astraea’s kidnappers had disappeared. I leapt over the head of Captain Hummel, as he knelt beside Mikal.

Mikal was sobbing and tears of sympathy welled in my eyes. I blinked them away and pushed myself harder. Dimitriou and Colonomos had died trying to protect Lady Astraea. I’d be fated to come back as a slug if I would let their deaths be in vain!

**

Comment, so I know you exist…

The pair was fairly evenly matched. Back and forth they went. Iona knocked Captain Hummel off his feet, and then he knocked her down. She knocked him down a second time and he retaliated and got her off her feet. It came down to who would outlast the other. Whoever went down next would lose the competition.

Captain Hummel looked pale. It was clear that the strain of the battle was wearing on him. He was panting loudly enough that we could hear him even from our seats. Iona growled and shoved him back. He rolled backwards, but dragged her along with him. When the came to a stop, he was on top of Iona, straddling her. He blinked at her for a moment and then looked up at Phoebe.

“Um… who won?” he asked, his voice weak and breathy.

Phoebe blinked for a moment. “I don’t believe something like this has ever happened before,” she admitted. She turned and looked up at Commander Larissa and Lady Astraea. “Commander. My lady,” she said. “What say you? Who is the victor of the wrestling competition?”

**

Comment, so I know you exist…

At five and a half months, Phoebe’s dream has come true. She got to eat her first food. Sweet potatoes. We whipped out the special food processor/steamer combo — purchased on a trip to Paris last winter (anxious new parents?) — and lunch was served. Rave reviews.

PHOEBE MADE ME HAPPY JUST NOW.!! THANKS PHOEBES!! LOOL

“mm”
-Phoebe

I tried to embed one of her videos to Yiruma – River flows in you. She is a sick pianist but unfortunately I am experiencing embed code difficulties.! Stay tuned to see it or go to her blog and you’ll find it there!

BTW click her name for her blog

I’m getting well into the warm fracture booty now but it doesn’t half take ages to get everywhere. Last night I damn near broke my neck and wasted years of my life transporting flour and potatoes to Phoebe’s house for a wee dinner party with Nin and Liv. Not that it was a waste of time to go – it was lovely. I’m just used to racing everywhere in a huff rather than taking time to admire the empty fried chicken boxes and soggening leaf mulch of London’s streets.

I cooked us all a fry-up, which was supposed to incorporate Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s potato farls but ended up starring gluey mash instead.  The bonus was that mashed potato is bigged up in the Measure this week, so I was inadvertently succeeding at one of this week’s to-dos while failing at another.

I don’t know if I mixed in too little flour or what but hell, I think mash goes with pretty well anything and I was more than delighted to eat it with fried eggs, sausages, bacon, beans and toast.

I forgot to ask the girls to take my photo before I was dropped home by kind Phoebe and there was no Guardian farl snap for the day anyway, so this post is sadly unillustrated. Therefore I’m going to keep it short and sweet.

Tomorrow you can expect: booty (not that kind), omelette skyscraper, cake and possibly a home improvement feature ­– but let’s not set our goals too high. I have to do a mammoth cook tonight to get my tasks done before I head to Antwerp tomorrow.

Conclusions:

• Consistency is key but when it comes to fry-ups you just have to be grateful for what you’ve got.
• There’s arguably little point in walking around in an unflattering outfit all day in the name of the blog if I then forget to photograph it, but I can tell you it’s still quite pleasant being told what to wear of a morning. I missed that during my recent break and pretty much went around in little black dresses every day. It was boring.