- Plankton glowing in Cairns, Australia

They spill like stardust over the sides of the container. Little flickers of light, electrical sparks responding to the swirling movement of our hands shaking the bucket as we try and get them to bioluminesce…

The “they” in question are plankton, the tiny plants and animals at the mercy of the ocean currents. I am at Shoals Marine Lab on Appledore Island, part of the Isles of Shoals – a group of islands partly in New Hampshire, partly in Maine. I am taking a marine botany course and we’re out underneath dark skies taking a plankton tow. We toss the net behind the boat, drag it through the summer-cold saline water, and bring it back onto the deck. We later take water samples back to the laboratory and find most of our biological light is being produced by diatoms. Diatoms are part of the tiny planktonic marine plants; they have beautiful, delicate silicon shells arranged in various symmetrical configurations.

Another vivid memory: a night dive at the Shoals, my first. It’s easy to be scared; we are out of our element and enveloped in an icy darkness with only a narrow flashlight beam to interrupt the visual silence. At some point during the experience, we turn of the flashlights and as our eyes acclimate to the blackness, the faintest glimmers are present. We wave our gloved hands and sparks fly around our covered fingertips – even at its seemingly blackest, the ocean has a shine…

There are many different types of creatures that cast a natural glow, both on land and at sea (although this is mostly a marine happening). The phenomenon is called bioluminescence and translates literally to “living light”.  An enzyme-mediated chemical reaction is generally responsible for its production. There are several different light-producing chemicals that have been isolated in bioluminescent organisms an are usually all referred to by a catch-all term, “luciferins.” In larger organisms these chemicals can be released in mucuses, inks, or concentrated in special light organs known as “chromatophores.” It’s also been discovered that some organisms concentrate luminescent bacteria in specialized organs – forming a symbiotic relationship where the bacteria corner the market on light-making.

The organisms that cast their own glow are diverse. Natural light is produced by fungi, bacteria, plankton, molluscs, fish, insects, and others. So why waste the energy? Why bother being a beacon in the darkness?

• Communication: Some living things use light to send vibrant messages, something like a visual morse code. Fireflies use light to find their special someones. Different species will use different patterns of flashes to find one another, so they’re not wasting their energies on blind dates with incompatible mates.
• To escape predators: The concept here is to blind or distract ( “Look, a diversion!”) things that potentially want to eat you. This seems to be the case with the newly discovered deep sea “green-bomber” worms. Some species of squid will eject clouds of bright ink when startled. Also, it’s possible smaller creatures will try to lure bigger predators to snack on whatever’s currently threatening them.
• To attract prey:We all know it’s easy to get distracted by shiny objects… This is the way anglerfish get their man (or dinner as it were) by dangling a glowing lure. Predators may spy on potential nom noms as well. Some fish are equipped with what amounts to sneak-a-scopes. Red light is often not a color really deep sea fishes can see.  Red light is more easily absorbed and less visible in deeper waters than other wavelengths of light falling in  the blue-violet part of the spectrum, and as such, many organisms are not adapted to see or detect it. Sneakier fish take use of this and produce red-light lamps they can use to detect prey without alerting the food source to their presence.
• Camouflage – alot of marine creatures employ something called countershading where the top of the organism is darker (when you or in this case, a predator, looks down at it with darker ocean water for background, it appears to blends in) and the bottom of the organisms is pale (to blend in with the incoming light coming from above). A similar effect can be achieved with the production of your own light – it can help you blend in with the light coming from above as a predator stares up at you. This strategy is thought to be used by at least a couple species of squid.

Of course we’re still discovering new variations on the bioluminscence model and developing new ideas about why organisms are putting on light shows…

The following video is from David Attenborough’s Blue Planet Series, and gives a glimpse about bioluminescence in the deep sea. Very little light reaches the murky depths but organisms create light where there is none:

Resources:

How Stuff Works: Bioluminescence

DeepSeaLife.net : Bioluminescence

San Diego Natural History Museum: Lights Alive

One of my favorite pages on the subject:

University of California at Santa Barbara: The Bioluminescence Web Page – I really enjoy the last question on the Q&A page

L’été est là, le soleil aussi, et nous allons enfin pouvoir profiter à nouveau des douces soirées pour recevoir amis et famille. Pour une table lumineuse, simple et élégante, voici une idée de photophore à fabriquer vous-même ou à acheter (sur bonkarma). Des cônes à poser tout simplement sur vos verres à pieds, le tour est joué! Si vous les fabriquez vous-même vous pouvez jouer avec les coloris, les motifs, les découpes, les tailles.

We need a few of these in Chicago, though it’s meant for the mountains: the new Pininfarina-designed Prinoth snow groomer called the Beast (see also: Everest, Bison and Leitwolf). “We have created the perfect workplace for drivers of the Beast.” (Via Dexigner)

The WSJ wine writers visit Bin 36.

“Militant caffeine addict” Aleksandar Hemon describes 6 Chicago places that influenced or inspired his fiction. “Nelson Algren used to drink there and brought along Simone de Beauvoir with whom he was having a famous affair. The locals fondly remembered her as Simon the Beaver.”

Finally, here are some of my favorite quotes from this bird diaper flight suit site (don’t ask). Also, I think a bird wrote the product copy.

- Bird Diapers prevent embarrassing accidents and dangerous fly-aways when used with the optional leash

- Flight Suit Bird Diapers allow for carefree socialization

- Bird Diaper poop pouch should be positioned directly under vent

- Before I found these I had bird poop down my back

- My birds became angry and annoyed

The CAF has a new exhibit on the design legacy of O’Hare, called ORD: Documenting the Definitive Modern Airport. According to Medill, “With a specially-designed ORD newspaper in hand, visitors can read through O’Hare’s history in depth while reclining in one of five Eames tandem sling seats.”

Chicago architecture and neighborhoods interpreted with cardboard at the Exquisite City, City of Cardboard exhibit at the Chicago Tourism Center (at the Cultural Center) through March 15.

The two current MoCP exhibits – The Transparent City and Work/Place – close on January 31. It’d be nice if the weather got to just freezing sometime before then.

The Pretty Good City blog has a post about transit, urban parks and other issues in Chicago.

There are a few pieces on the terrific Friday Night Lights and their third season partnership with DirecTV, here, here and here. The Globe & Mail mistakenly writes that it was Smash who was paralyzed. Perhaps the reviewer should have obtained the services of the Fact Checkers Unit. Or, I don’t know, watched the show?

Finally, Malaysian wildlife authorities rescued 2,300 5-ft-long lizards that were headed for restaurants that offer exotic meat. Officials also found 319 owl carcasses and 22 paws of the protected Malayan sun bear. I SO want to say that at the post office on Monday when they ask if my boxes contain any fragile or perishable materials. “No, just some owl carcasses and sun bear paws.” You know, for the look they’ll give me. Which, actually, doesn’t take much.

J’ai été chargée de la déco pour notre table le soir de Noël et j’ai trouvé une super idée de marque-place en me promenant sur la blogosphère. Je voudrai bien rendre à César ce qui est à César, mais je n’arrive plus à trouver le site où j’ai trouvé l’idée, les explications et les photos!

Pour faire un photophore par personne, il suffit de prendre un verre droit par personne et d’imprimer une feuille de papier calque avec le nom des convives! On découpe le papier à la taille du verre, et le tour est joué!

Sur le même principe on peut aussi imprimer le menu, comme sur la première photo!

En ce qui concerne l’impression du papier calque, il est conseillé de le scotcher au préalable sur une feuille normale pour éviter le bourrage dans l’imprimante. J’ai téléchargé une police “Chopin” sur internet pour avoir un effet style calligraphique ainsi qu’un dessin stylisé d’ange et d’étoile pour mettre en-dessous.

Pour la table du soir de Noël, j’ai choisi d’utiliser le doré, le marron chocolat et l’écru… ça va être claaaasseee! Pour la nappe, je vais aller acheter 3 mètres de tissu chocolat et simplement faire un ourlet. Puis je vais placer mes photophores ainsi qu’une serviette en tissu écrue roulée au centre de l’assiette et entourée d’un ruban doré! Je cherche encore des bonnes idées pour le centre de table!

Edit du 22 décembre 2008: voilà j’ai fini tous mes photophores! Finalement j’ai pu passer le papier calque directement dans l’imprimante mais il faut que ce soit du 80g minimum! On économise beaucoup de temps! Et autre chose, le papier calque se place à l’extérieur du verre et non à l’intérieur, il ne faudrait pas que votre petite fête tourne à l’incendie! Je suis contente de constater que cette idée à eu du succès et que j’entends à droite et à gauche que l’idée va être reprise, c’est le principe même des bonnes idées!

Vous pouvez voir les miens ici!

The NYT writes about the excitement and anxiety leading up to the Obama rally. The police superintendent, forgetting to cover the bases with high jinks, tommyrot, lunacy, roguery, shenanigans and monkey business, said, “We can’t have foolishness. We can’t have mischief.” But no matter: I’m sure that everyone who takes Daley up on his offer will act with the restrained, considerate sagacity typical of downtown visitors.

Saul Bellow’s Chicago (a look at Humboldt Park, then and now), in the Times.

The New Yorker (all this Chicago stuff in New York pubs) has a blurb on the magazine The Chicagoan, which ran from 1926 to 1935. “Many authors seem to have been beset by second-city syndrome, and the most entertaining bits today are those in which they spoof their own anxieties about Chicago’s rough-and-tumble reputation.”

In the Trib, a piece on stalled skyscraper projects. There are two halted supertall buildings: the Spire, of course, and the Waterview Tower and Shangri-La Hotel, planned to be taller than the Chrysler Building but stuck on floor 26. The Aqua, however, is built to the 59th of its 82 stories. Crews were welding the iron beam overhang on Sunday.

I will temporarily suppress my disgust at the Art Institute’s preposterously arbitrary bag-checking policy, their oblivious volunteers and inept “member service” to see the European Tapestries exhibit, which includes a set of 14 tapestries representing The Story of Ceasar and Cleopatra; also to see Gallery 205, which has been reinstalled with cases suggesting a cabinet of curiosity. The curator of sculpture will give a talk on November 15 on the popularity of wunderkammer during the Renaissance. There’s also a library exhibit, displaying artists’ books, ephemera from the archives, examples of fine printing and more.

From the Guardian, 10 favo(u)rite scenes in lifts. My favorite lift scene of the ten is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And — a look at the poster for North by Northwest.

Yma Sumac’s friend and personal assistant, a professional makeup artist, said he would apply her makeup in her elaborate 1950s style every day during her illness.

William Eggleston and his Whitney retrospective. “Eggleston has been known to wear the occasional knee-high Austrian riding boots and, according to Lamp regulars, ‘Zorro capes.’ ‘Sometimes, yes,’ he says. ‘It’s comfortable, and it looks good.’”

Milton Glaser has a new book called Drawing is Thinking. The book has drawings from Glaser’s career that, when looked at sequentially, let you (presumably not in a ‘Being John Malkovich’ way) inhabit his mind.

The Pennsylvania Game Commission keeps busy with exotic pets, especially hybrid wolves. “Many are purchased in Ohio,” said the chief of the commission’s exotic permitting enforcement. “You can buy anything and everything there and you can get a grizzly bear cub or lion cub for a couple of hundred dollars.” A gift idea for that person you know who already has everything.

Lastly: “You survived the attack by the raccoon, you survived hitting it over the head with a tire iron 50 times, and then the thing that brought you to your knees was the U.S. healthcare system.”

Bonjour à tous et toutes…….

Je vous propose de découvrir ma déco d’automne qui est en préparation ….

D’abords mon centre de table en fleurs, feuilles et coloquintes .

Pour ce faire, je commence par dire un grand merci à ma collègue M.A qui m’a fourni des branches de lierres et du fil de fer spécial art floral ainsi qu’à tatie Marie claire du beaujolais qui m’a fait parvenir un bouquet “d’amour en cage” ( Il est magnifique, on peut en faire des tonnes de choses!!!!!)

Sans elles, les réalisations auraient été impossible !!!!!! MERCI, MERCI, MERCI…..encore et toujours !!!!!!

Ceci étant fait et dit, je passe aux explications alors dans un premier temps on forme un rond avec le fil de fer puis on entortille les branches de lierres autour .

Ensuite, on pique les fleurs “amour en cage” dans es branches de lierres.

Pour un meilleur effet, j’ai complété la réalisation de deux photophores (et oui, toujours mes bougies !!!!!!) ainsi que d’un plateau recouvert de différents papiers de soies avec des coloquintes.

Allez voyez vous même !!!!!!!!!! et bonne saison d’automne…………..

Julian, the missing Japanese Macaque monkey, was found in a goat barn after disappearing from his cage at an exotic animal sanctuary under what the owners described as suspicious circumstances. “Picton businessman Don Stanton said he spotted the monkey on County Road 5 at 4:30 p. m. Sunday on his way home from work.” Was he hitchhiking?

Animal control officers are swamped after vandals release 6,000 mink. “County animal control officers have a backlog of calls from residents about loose minks after a Sunday incident at a mink farm that industry representatives believe was sabotage.”

Dear Dick Wolf: Please spin off Law & Order: Animal Escape.

The AIC’s upcoming arts and crafts exhibit, Apostles of Beauty: Arts and Crafts from Britain to Chicago, focuses on Chicago collections of ceramics, furniture, metalwork, paintings, photographs, and textiles. Starts November 8.  But if you have some time, you may also be interested in “The Legacy of Duck Hunting on Lake Koshkonong” in Wisconsin.

The WSJ gives some attention to Louis Sullivan’s Auditorium Theater. Three things about the theater I didn’t know: (1) it was the first theater entirely lit by incandescent bulbs, (2) it has 55 million pieces of mosaic tile, and (3), parts of the building were used as barracks during WWII…and the stage became a bowling alley. Let’s make it a bowling alley again!

The 1st Chicago International Poster Biennial will be at Daley Bicentennial Plaza Sept 15-Oct 15 — outside, not in the rec center. Dear Project Osmosis and the Chicago Park District: DO NOT FUCK UP THE PARK.

While looking for pictures of native Australian birds, I found the following photos:

- Great Odin’s raven, it’s Hugin and Mugin!
- This Tawny Frogmouth bird looks like it was in Neverending Story.
- A little mouse-like marsupial from Central Australia standing up on its hind legs

More birds: A nature writer’s top 10 birds in fact and fiction. “In fiction I like a hint of birds: a bird as subsidiary character, as metaphor or symbol. I also like nature writing that places itself in historical context, and touches on the parallel lives of birds, and creatures, and man.”

Burglar wakes men with spice rub: “The farmworkers told deputies the suspect woke them Saturday morning by rubbing spices on one of them and smacking the other with an 8-inch sausage.”

Flawless start for LHC. I went over to Aon the other day for some secured creditor cover, site specific environmental risk modeling, liability buyouts, guidance on federal and state regulations, and environmental education and training on the possibility that the Earth would get sucked into a newly-formed black hole or turned into goo. Can I get a refund?

New uniforms for TSA airport screeners. They’ll look like this, right?

Lastly, for my husband, who is selling the last part of his baseball card collection: My Life as a Collector, an essay.

Chicagoan Colleen Plumb has two photos on 20×200 — Tiger Rug, Cabrini Green and Field Museum Sue.

Can you believe it’s that time again? That’s right, it’s the 5th Annual Plastics Processors Conference & Polyolefins Industry Workshop, which brings today’s business person up to speed with language, concepts and key issues in the polyethylene (PE) and polypropylene (PP) supply chain, from resin process technology through to finished goods. I’ll be live blogging, podcasting and twittering the event at the Chicago Marriott Downtown, as I network with fabricators, converters and end-users from diverse markets. Just kidding. (But remember, readers, avoid plastics with a code of 7, and try to use only code 2 or code 5.)

Anthony Bourdain, punk rock chef, interviewed. “The tip is, if there’s too many white people eating in a place, there’s something wrong. The best Chinese place is the one that can support an entirely Chinese clientele. It’s the same rule as would apply around the world; those are the places you want to go.

GeekDad reviews the Jim Henson exhibit at the Smithsonian. “For me, though, the highlight of the show was the arrays of hand-drawn cartoons, mostly done by Henson himself, around the walls of the exhibit.  The cartoons showed his thought processes, how he built characters and then built stories around them.” Argh, I want to see it, but it won’t be in Chicago ’til like, 2050.

The Globe & Mail has a piece about Mathieu Saura’s stripped-down videos of musicians.

SFGate writes about the new California Academy of Sciences building, opening in 31 days. “Soon to be transferred to the new academy building, too, are legions of bats, flying geckos, chameleons, ants by the thousands and many more animals and plants.” And I’ll be posting about the inevitable escapes from their transport containers.

Lastly, most plants are left-handed.

Eight Orange line cars will circle the Loop as a mobile art exhibition on August 30, from 6-10 pm. Three staff members on each car (all of whom have extensive close-combat training and will fuck you up), will talk about the art and ensure its safety. Watch for those nerve pinches.

The NYT writes about Cloud Gate in a piece on public sculpture. “The Kapoor Bean’s giant, mercurylike dollop of brilliantly polished steel gives the phrase plop art robust new life and converts this artist’s sometimes glib involvement with reflective surfaces into an enveloping experience both humorous and almost sublime.”

Illustrator and Eisner award winner Rutu Modan is interviewed about her latest book, Exit Wounds, and her childhood, which seems a little Dharma Initiative.

Tod Goldberg on writing Burn Notice tie-in books: “The difference this time was the show itself: I am a huge fan of ‘Burn Notice.’ It’s smart, funny, visually arresting and has the tone and style of my favorite Elmore Leonard novels.”

USA Today asks if Pushing Daisies can hold on to its first season viewers and attract new viewers for its upcoming second season. I couldn’t wait to see if PD would make it to its second season — I wrote a spec script during the first season.

I love Jamie Campbell’s Beasts of Burden series (with mascot heads).

Lastly, the Patent for the Bubble Pipe: “A bubble pipe, which comprises a hollow tubular member having first and second open ends, a mouthpiece closing said first end and having an orifice therein communicating with the interior of said hollow member, said second end being adapted to support a film of a bubble solution thereacross, and a film divider at the second end for dividing the film of bubble solution carried by the second end, the cross-sectional area of the opening at said second end being about sixteen times the cross-sectional area of said mouthpiece.”

Extra lastly, I should’ve bought this cookbook…

Bloomberg has short reviews of Mercat a la Planxa, down on South Michigan; Takashi, in Bucktown; and Sixteen at the Trump.

David Byrne and Brian Eno will be at the Chicago Opera House on October 26 during their Everything That Happens Will Happen Today tour. Get the free mp3, Strange Overtones (I’ve listened to it twice so far and really like it).

What? Almost a whole day has passed and you haven’t read any beat poetry? Again? Here’s some Lawrence Ferlinghetti: Chicago’s Loop becomes a rollercoaster / Skyscrapers filled like water glasses / Great Lakes mixed with Buddhist brine.

The Guardian has eight vintage circus photos from The Circus, 1870-1950, which “collects images from a golden era of American circuses: the backstage camaraderie, the glamorous costumes and the exotic animals.”

Also from the Guardian, Mulder and Scully are in a search of a remedy for the spiritual malaise of the West.

This SF Shorts film, Procrastination, a “love letter to distraction,” is brilliant, and graphically like 1970s Sesame Street interstitials. Though I maintain that tea is not procrastination, it’s ritual. Fine, it’s procrastination. Absolutely everything is, apparently.

Also in The Moment, a post on Top Five New Stores includes one Chicago (N Broadway) store, Homeboy: “an eclectic mix of one-off furnishings, ceramics, and other domestic add-ons.” Domestic add-ons? Like a cabana boy? An iguana? A disaffected teenager?

More Intelligent Life has a fascinating piece about “the weird world of the [deep-sea] submersible.”

NPR has sounds of howler monkeys, which are like an effect from a Korean horror movie. More monkeys!  Read why female Madagascan lemurs “adopt male coloration to dupe their aggressive female groupmates” and why capuchin monkeys like to rub pungent-smelling plants all over themselves.

Finally, a 97-year-old woman says that her cat’s yowling saved her from a house fire. “I’m going to get her a special treat, a can of salmon.” That’s fine, but salmon is a treat to merely pass the time until the cat gets to eat his owner.

In today’s WSJ, why Chicago is a housing success story. “Bringing more units to market — think of all those cranes along the lake — explains in some part of why Chicago is more affordable.” If you take a cursory glance at craigslist in Portland or Seattle, you’ll see that it costs an incredible amount of money for a decent apartment anywhere near downtown, because there’s just no supply. What’s considered a mid-priced building in Chicago is practically a luxury penthouse anywhere else. Moreover, they just don’t build residential buildings this tall anywhere else in the U.S. Vancouver has done something to encourage a large number of residential high-rises, but the demand for real estate there keeps prices quite high.

Crain’s reports that you can even get units in the Trump building for, um, relative bargain prices. “At least 34 hotel suites sold by the developer in the past six months are back on the market, some priced at a steep discount to comparable unsold hotel units in the yet-to-be-completed project.”

A New Yorker visits Chicago and likes the lack of “constant searches and surveillance” (though Chicago has expanded surveillance lately). “It’s amazing how good this felt. And it gave rise to thoughts about whether we really need all the searches, identifications, metal detectors, sensors that characterize life in New York.”

“The International Press Club of Chicago seems to consist of whoever shows up for lunch on Wednesdays on the second floor of the Loop’s Beef and Brandy Restaurant — visitors welcome.” All riiight!!

Here’s an article about the green 2,500-square-foot home on exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry.

The NYT has a three-pager on children’s book author Tomi Ungerer. Phaidon will be republishing Ungerer’s books this fall, starting with The Three Robbers (1962), “a darkly drawn tale of big-hatted brigands and the orphan girl who shows them the error of their ways.”

Finally, David Byrne and Brian Eno have finished their new record, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today. Get one of the songs free next week, here.

I’m reading Jeffrey Ford’s marvelous The Girl in the Glass, but there’s a detail that’s driving me nuts. Ford refers to the FBI in the context of 1932, but at the time, the bureau was called the United States Bureau of Investigation. The Federal Bureau of Investigation wasn’t the permanent name until 1935. I know, I’m a pedantic asshole, but I love the book and can’t wait to read everything else he’s written. In the meantime, I’ll have to keep putting the book down for fifteen minutes with every instance of ‘FBI’ and taking deep breaths.

Dexigner has a brief review of The Design of Semi-Industrial Confectionery — “an encyclopaedic record of 92 Portuguese daily confectionery cakes.” Fantastic. It sounds like the mcguffin in a 70s paranoia thriller. “This is no damned book! Somebody or something is rotten in the Company!”

Reuters has an article on the International Symposium on Electronic Art 2008 at the National Museum of Singapore. I like this one: “Sound forms the basis of ‘Run Silent, Run Deep’ by Australian artists Nigel Helyer and Daniel Woo, who made an audio portrait of Singapore which visitors can navigate much like online map.”

The Trib reports from Niles, IL that “a go-kart decorated to look like a ‘57 Chevy and driven by an unidentified Medinah Shriner” struck a few spectators before landing in nearby shrubbery with one spectator still on the hood of the vehicle.

Also, “Illinois State Police are blaming a small flock of ducks for a three-car accident that blocked a major highway. The whole highway was shut down for about 15 minutes. The ducks were not injured.”

Finally, from a few days ago: “Fifteen camels, two zebras and several llamas and pot-bellied pigs escaped from a circus visiting Amsterdam early Monday.”

Read about obscure museums — e.g., PA’s Mercer Museum, NY’s MTA Transit Museum, Romania’s Zoological Museum – in detail at the wonderful Curious Exhibitions blog.

The Museum of Jurassic Technology has some good recommended items for reading, viewing and listening. You may also want to buy the Mütter Museum 2009 calendar.

The International Cryptozoology Museum needs an intern.

The Chicago History Museum is pairing with Metropolis Coffee Company for a ($45) coffee-themed boat tour on July 20.

Upcoming exhibits at Chicago’s International Museum of Surgical Science include Plastic Surgery: Form and Function (Fall 2008), and two of their new or current exhibits are The Cutting Edge: Advances in Genetics and Surgery (now), as well as Beyond Broken Bones.

In “creatures at airports” news…

A shipment of sundry creatures — including scorpions, turtles, tarantulas and frogs — were abandoned at the Mexico City airport.

Also, jackals, raptors and large monitor lizards crowded a New Delhi airport runway.

Moving on….

Conceptual designer Martí Guixé is making food more user-friendly.

PingMag goes to Vendex Japan, the vending machine manufacturer’s exhibition.

All-female roller derby is gaining legitimacy as a sport. I found it interesting that leagues are structured as skater-owned, skater-operated LLCs, with bylaws and boards of directors. Condy Rice should add that to her post-White House roster of board seats.

Whence the name Jennifer?

The Fisher-Price Zen Collection: Over-designed and disturbingly un-Zen, especially the Gliding Bassinette, which looks like Liberace’s teapot.

Lastly, this outdoor ad for Taste of Chicago (see pic below) is just embarrassing. “Taste’s Better Every Year”? No one caught that?

“A spider monkey used a garden hose to scale the wall of a moat at a Michigan City zoo before being captured at a nearby boat dealership.”

“…which, when the correct ones were used, yielded drawers containing acrylic letters and a table-size cloth imprinted with the beginnings of a crossword puzzle, the answers to which led to one of the rectangular panels lining the tiny den, which concealed a chamfered magnetic cube, which could be used to open the 24 remaining panels, revealing, in large type, the poem written by Klinsky.”

“If humanity vanishes, science writer Dougal Dixon predicts, the world may be ruled by ‘rats, rabbits, moles, crows and seagulls — animals we regard as pests.’ For those who prefer crows to people — my wife is one of them — there may be something comforting in this vision.”

The “Don’t Go Messing With Our Telescope” song.

“While he was working a day job at Microsoft, he once spent several hours every day for a week neatly wrapping every object in his supervisor’s office in green tissue paper to surprise her upon her return from vacation.”

“If you were asked to describe a cup of coffee, you would most likely refer to its macrostate—its temperature, pressure and other overall features. The microstate, on the other hand, specifies the precise position and velocity of every single atom in the liquid.”

Portfolio has a fascinating article about the accountant who was hired by Utah to take over the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and their United Effort Plan — an effort that has meant “hundreds of hours spent on a multitude of small details for the most infinitesimal of results.” Oh, and everyone there hates him. If you’ve watched Big Love, you’ll see direct parallels, particularly with how the F.L.D.S prophet ran the Short Creek community. (Local note: the writer has an M.A. from the University of Chicago Divinity School.)

Quote from an article in Thursday’s WSJ from a well-known game developer: “I only included things that everybody likes, like violence, flowers, children, women, friendship and death.”

A poll of what 60 New Yorkers had for breakfast. Most of the choices are pretty good, but…soft-shell-crab burger? Gummi strawberries? Coke?

Cuttlefish recognize visual images (prey) while still in the embryo.

(not a cuttlefish)

An Austrian man keeps living in an asbestos-ridden former town with the woman he fell in love with there. The Western Australian government recommends that “if you must go, stay in your car and keep the windows closed.” This guy is like a single-celled microbe in the Berkeley Pit, because he’s also a chain smoker. The eight residents rely on generators, and when one person makes the 87 mile shopping trip, they buy for everyone else. “The cinema is gone, the school’s gone, even the nuns from the convent left.” But, you know, they like it there. (I won’t even go inside the Pittsfield building.)

This Boston Globe article reports that Amtrak ridership is up 19 percent between Chicago and St. Louis, and the Chicago-to-Seattle Empire Builder is up 8.2 percent — “yet most of the developed world continues to laugh at us.” The chairman of the House Appropriations subcommittee dealing with transportation said (probably using meiosis), ‘‘Unfortunately, the president left us a number of holes to fill not only in passenger rail, but also with regard to funding for our airports and infrastructure, highway and transit systems.’’ Moreover, Obama has said, ‘‘Detroit won’t find a better partner than me in the White House.” Sigh.

The Chicago Bird Collision Monitors are “often contacted by commuters ranging from stock traders to firefighters who’ve spotted injured birds. Some of the commuters carry bags with them, if they find a bird they’ll pick it up.”

This Chicago Business article about dream weddings is so grotesque and demented that I can’t even deal with it right now.

I LOVE this animated short film, The Stork, by Nina Paley.

The Columbia College MFA Photography Thesis Exhibition is June 5 at the Glass Curtain Gallery. And Mario Ybarra, Jr. has his first solo exhibition at the AIC — a site-specific installation that compares Los Angeles and Chicago, “using the chewing-gum magnate William Wrigley, Jr., and his business ventures in both cities as his jumping-off point.” I want to go right now.

Gapers Block reports the Windy City Uke Fest, August 1-3 at the Tiki Terrace in Des Plaines, which is between Schaumberg (horrifying) and Evanston, just north of O’Hare. And to get to Tiki Terrace, you probably only have to take two trains, a bus, and a couple of trolleys. Anyway, my perimeter is defined by Yolk to the south, Flight 001 to the north, and South Wacker to the west. I don’t go beyond that, excluding Midway.

Chicago is still the best city for traders. One hedge fund manager “prefers not having to fight for a cab, a dinner reservation or an apartment, as is the norm in most other financial centers.” A trader in Manhattan said he wouldn’t consider moving to Chicago. “No, it’s windy and cold!” he said. Keeps the prices down.

A downtown dentist “put up prostitutes and pimps in condominiums he owned in a downtown apartment tower.” People in every downtown apartment tower are nodding, thinking it must be the unit next to them because that would explain a lot.

Police talk a man out of jumping into the Chicago River. “They were both empathetic and were able to dissuade him from jumping.” The CPD must have had empathy training recently. (“The officers were EMPATHETIC. You get that? They responded with EMPATHY.”) The man works for the only airline that’s doing things right.

And some elevator stuff below, inspired by Ian’s photo:

From an article on avoiding elevator breakdowns: “Door operators undergo tremendous wear and tear in daily operation. Each time the elevator stops, the door operators are activated at least two times, more frequently if occupants manually hold the doors open. Some elevator maintenance companies report that nearly 75 percent of their service calls are for malfunctioning door operators.” Sometimes I keep the elevator doors open to finish a conversation with someone, but I won’t do it anymore.

Check out the ‘Exploring Otis’ (dirty!) video on the Otis site. S’quick.

Have you read The Intuitionist yet?

The Elevator Escalator Safety Foundation is having their second annual fundraising cruise on the Chicago River on June 25th. “The idea was taken from the ever-successful National Association of Vertical Transportation Professionals New York Region Dinner Cruise.” Good times.

How much energy does an elevator use?

Sometimes I don’t take the elevator. Sometimes I take the few dozen plus flights of stairs to my apartment, and when I’m gasping for breath on 20, I think about Robert Redford in Barefoot in the Park and, of course, Ghostbusters. Oh, and that Sydney episode of The Biggest Loser, when the contestants had to swim, bike, run, and then climb about 40 flights.

By now you’ve heard about the trailer that spilled 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreos in Morris, IL. But have you heard of the pigeon-racing underground in Morris? No? Well, here’s a story about a woman who found a pigeon in her backyard and — after considerable effort — tracked down its owner, a pigeon racer. It’s hard for me to choose just one excerpt from this piece, which you MUST READ, but I’ll go with: “I sent someone from one of the pigeon clubs up there to pick it up.” That’s right. ONE of the pigeon clubs.

Um, Chicago football team needs writer.

There’ll be a fancy important person summit-thing at the Fairmont this Thursday, when “Bush cabinet officials, governors and top CEOs talk about long-term economic trends and needs.” If you really want your copy of “Who Says Elephants Can’t Dance?” autographed, now is the time.

One municipal lawyer from Ottawa tells another of the same, “Whatever else you do . . . take the Chicago River Architectural Boat cruise. It’s terrific and embarrassing.” The other lawyer takes the cruise and writes about what Chicago can teach Ottawa.

]]> http://kineticloop.com/2008/04/22/i%e2%80%99ve-got-to-crush-ed-begley/ Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:01:41 +0000 kineticloop http://kineticloop.com/2008/04/22/i%e2%80%99ve-got-to-crush-ed-begley/

A whimsical look at the scone-making, lettuce-growing, swing-dancing, bike-riding life of Bill Nye in his retrofitted, eco-friendly house in L.A.

Design and the Elastic Mind at MoMA. Over 300 works about changes in technology, science and history. Projects are in categories such as Future Mores, Harvesting the Internet, 3D Printing, Mapping, Sensory Design, Scenes from a Nanotech World and more. I could be here all day.

“‘The German Canoeing Federation put a lot of pressure on me regarding attendance of training camps and various other things,’ she said.” The first rule of the German Canoeing Federation is – you do not talk about the German Canoeing Federation. The second rule of the German Canoeing Federation is – you DO NOT talk about the German Canoeing Federation.

This has 20 gondolas and 5,392 light bulbs. And I really, really hope that no one buys this for their kid.

McCabe says McIntosh was wearing “facial makeup, lipstick, blue Capri pants, red flip-flops, a flowery blouse and a matching flowery women’s bra.” Yeah, that’s what I look for in a bra.

The Vancouver Museum is going to fix their existential crisis. (May I suggest a ferris wheel?)

The Siskel Film Center is somewhat inexplicably showing The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance tonight at 6pm. “A civilization-bringing lawyer battles an anarchic outlaw (Lee Marvin – “You’re not gonna hurt me, I’m gonna hurt you”) with the aid of an individualistic rancher.”

Finally, someone in Chicago has lost their pit bull, Felony. They sound like nice people. “Reward will be paid” — if you haven’t been devoured yet. Also: coincidence? I think not. “Our pet cockatiel bird, Magnet, accidentally escaped our home on 3/19/08. She was last seen flying west of Eastwood Ave.” Magnet knows the meaning of the words Cheerios, peanut, water and tea. Felony knows other words.

The former Holiday Inn City Centre at 300 E Ohio in Streeterville (not to be confused with the Chicago City Centre Hotel, in about the same location) will be renovated and turned into a Doubletree. The renovation includes “a new restaurant featuring organic food produced in the Midwest and an Einstein Bros. Bagels shop.” Great. An Einstein Bros. The restaurant sounds interesting, though.

The Grand and State Red Line station is also getting renovated. The new granite floors, elevators and escalators will be the first major update since the station was built in 1943.

The International Vintage Poster Fair is this weekend at the Cultural Center.

At the Daley Civic Center: “Kick off to motivate City Year members on a challenging week of 100 Hours of Power is a service marathon that lasts for 100 consecutive hours.” Huh? That sentence makes my head hurt.

World Kitchen has a class on knife skills on April 5. “Good knife skills are so important to confidence and safety in the kitchen. This class will explain which knife to use for what and will teach you how to use and choose them properly. We’ll slice, we’ll dice, and we’ll have fun as we make our lunch!” Well, when you want to be quiet, and you’re at close quarters with an opponent, say in a kitchen, then a knife comes in handy. World Kitchen may get a more diverse group than they’re used to with this class. Knife throwers, bodyguards, soldiers of fortune, etc.

This Fortune piece about Target mentions the retailer’s “‘creative cabinet,’ an elite, secret team composed of a dozen people of all ages, interests, and nationalities.” The Creative Cabinet Task Force hand-picks members for each mission. “We identify them, and we cultivate the relationship,” says marketing evp Michael Francis. Though they work independently from across the globe — some from mountaintop lairs, some from satellites — all Creative Cabinet members will pull together and meet in person to prevent the destruction of the world….and weigh in on a new, slimmed-down cereal box with a self-locking top. But members will be tested on the Judgment Day of the Overmaster, when internecine conflict will cause the Cabinet to form splinter groups such as Michael Francis’ Extreme Innovation.

London is so not a good place for street photographers. Via Conscientious. If you do street photography, best to keep moving and be quick, wherever you are. (I often act like a clueless tourist to get shots, though people tend to think I’m from some other country, anyway.)

Slate explains what’s behind the boom in homeland-security and emergency-management majors.

Jhumpa Lahiri is “a succinct realist writer in an era of attention-getting maneuvers.”