I will be posting my short stories, poetry, and other writing projects onto online. I will be making one more blog just dedicated to my writings. Everything will start mostly on December. I am still working on NaNoWriMo, so it is hard to focus on much else. I made a decision about my future… after crying for a while. Now I am over emotional crap and will go back to focusing on getting what I want.

The list below is just something for me to remember how I want certain parts of my future portfolio.

Memoirs
Fiction
Misc. Poetry/Prose
Poetry
Book Reviews
Opinions
Achievements & Awards

I’m hoping that this part time job offer comes out right.  Actually, I’d be willing to do either of the positions open full time, but I doubt that they are hiring fulls.

Before I get into all that though, I should say that this blog is back up, random, and will mostly center on things I don’t want to put on my LiveJournal.  Not that things on there specifically screened or hidden from my friends, some people just have certain ideas on me and I’m not about to shatter or bring up questions through other explorations with them in the open.  Anyway, this one is set up for different explorations that make the Keep’s Kitty (there is a strong pull towards the Pack idea also, fictional though it may be) who I am or who I want to be.  One thing I’m going to try to keep up with weekly, or daily if I get that bored, is a Book of Days project that another blogger has on hers.

Back tracking where I was, I hope this job comes through that way I can help out the family more.  Tough luck on the step-siblings having to suck up and manage with responsibility, like getting themselves up in the morning for school…  Something I did, getting up earlier than they are now, when I was seven.  I do have plans for any paychecks I get though.  Yes, I do live at home with the family, but in this economy, it’s cheaper, especially in small town areas that don’t have a large open job market.  Damn “good ol’ boys” clubs and mentalities.  For now, my at home job consists of taking care of the people that live here, being like a governess and secretary, chef and all.

Things I’m going to split checks into, putting a majority into savings:

• College since I feel safer having money in savings if aid doesn’t come through.
• Addictions:  Faire garb, corsets (love those so much,) books, video games (want to get a Wii and PS3, Highlander!  And a good CPU for playing Witcher, Myst, Demigod, and Age of Empires.)
• Visits down to see my Owners, and ways to get down there with splurges.
• Rainy day emergency funds.
• Pay on two bills monthly around the house, back up in case the electric bill is high and needs help being covered.
• Surprise home improvement projects that mom and step-father want done, they just never get looked at because of tight budgets.  Those would be:  wood burning stove in the living room, wood flooring in the house including finally getting floors finished in my room since they’re still unfinished from the house being built years ago, large metal storage unit, pool, finishing up the carport.
• Getting the last three furniture pieces for my room.

Please gods, let this go through!  Have to wait until the first of the year to hear though.

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Sometimes I make plans. Sometimes, before I go to sleep, I think, “Tomorrow I will wake up and go to my doctor’s appointment and then head over to my office (Borders) like I have everyday since break. I will begin my day by revising my first writing piece, then I will study for the GRE verbal sections, then I will finalize another set of revisions, finally finishing the day with the quantitative section which my dad will come and help me with because like I can understand any of that stuff. We will return home together to unwind and he will quiz me on vocab.” While I know this all sounds extremely boring, for me it is thrilling! Because I am well enough to drive, to study, to plan. I’ve been trying so hard not to get ahead of myself, to not take advantage of the Lord’s blessing, not to forget what He has done, and that I can do all these things because He allows it.

But if I am being really honest, I have to admit that the more healthy I become and the longer this restoration continues, I struggle not to take it for granted.

This morning I woke up at 4:15 in the morning, freezing. I could not get warm and my whole body was shaking. I really wanted to put some socks on but my legs weren’t working so well and I couldn’t stop the shaking enough to grab a pair of gold toes. I waited until five to text message my dad that I needed him. I had a raging fever but eventually I fell asleep. When I woke up, I felt about ninety percent better and was nearly my old self. We went to the doctor. Then I went on my way to my office. But as soon as I took out my flash cards, huddled at my own little table, I started to feel really sick again. My hands were shaking so badly I couldn’t flip the notecards and it was so cold that I wondered how Borders could have the air conditioner on full blast at the end of November.

So I called my dad and he told me I needed to leave immediately and get into my bed. And I said, “But Dad, I had a plan! I have to do some practice exams and revisions and…” But apparently, fever trumps plans.

So this is all to say that my plans are nothing compared to God’s plans. I am not saying that God’s plans mean that I shouldn’t study. But what I am saying is that for this week I have been far more concerned with my plan than with God’s plan. Being laid out sick is a blessing. I know this because God works all things for good for those who love Him. But I also know that, specifically in this case, this is an opportunity for me to redirect my focus back to Jesus, to realign my priorities back to Jesus, to spend time alone with Him in my bed, without vocab cards, and practice tests, and applications.

Jesus, you are so good to me that I can barely stand it. You know what’s best for me beyond even my own understanding. And so I am trusting You; I am trusting your plan. Because it is perfect and it is exciting and it is thrilling with or without hiccups like a weird virus or a chronic illness like fibro. In fact, these hiccups are actually blessings, gift, ways to hone me down, to sanctify me to be more like you. I love you so much. And by the way, Jesus, I am so excited for advent! Let’s celebrate! In Your Magnificent Name, amen.

Today I’ve set myself the task of writing a 3,000 word essay. All the research is pretty much done already and I have a clear idea of what I’m going to write, so it’s not that terrible. Plus it’s on ways public libraries can improve access for disabled people, so it’s something I’m interested in and can rattle through pretty easily. There are loads of sources for it, from the DDA to CILIP’s guidelines, MLA toolkits and SCONUL’s paper. It’s all very interesting and has a nice political/sociological slant for me, so I hope I can make it something vaguely useful, for myself or someone else. I dunno.

However, I’m procrastinating. Of course. Because just sitting down and writing is nigh on impossible for me. I’ve been gazing out of windows and thinking about yesterday’s lecture, which started off with a talk from a careers advisor, who reminded me of the niggling idea at the back of my mind that I’d like to do a PhD with something to do with public libraries. I have a vague idea of how this would work, because there’s no way I’d be self-funding so would need to apply for a scholarship thing. Where or how, I don’t know. I also don’t know how this fits in with my short- and long-term plans. C and I want to get married as soon as we can, and want kids a few years down the line. Ideally I’d like to do the whole baby thing in my mid-late twenties, say, 25-29, which is a bit off, but not that far. In order to get married I need some cold, hard, cashmonies, so I need a job for at least a year after I graduate from my MA, which places me at 25. So if I went back and did my PhD straight after that, I’d be 28 by the time I’d done it, which doesn’t leave me with much time for impregnation and gestation…If anybody has any advice for me, like what I should do or what they did, please do let me know.

Saving the world by fixing public libraries vs. saving the world with my amazing offspring. I don’t know. I will endeavour to do both. By the time I’ve finished this course I’m sure my time management will be second to none,  so I shouldn’t have a problem!

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my boss asked me the other day what my long term goals were.. i was dumbfounded for a bit because i’d had so much planned around going to Syracuse next year; that immediately hit me as funny because i love to plan.

i have alternate options (a,b,c) with contingency back ups, i have budgets laid out for if i go here vs. here..

and somehow it had never occured to me that i wouldn’t go to Syracuse. i know why – mostly because if i’d actually been allowed to apply i would have gotten picked up (heart—-beattttt) and that would have been that. didn’t even cross my mind that somehow the AF would dick me around.

so many people have bad experiences with the military and being forced to places they didn’t want to go; since i’ve been lucky and enjoyed just about everything i guess i’d forgotten that the AF really doesn’t have my best interests in mind.

either way, i need to start planning again.. god i love that…

option a: stay and rot at Dyess.
good: we have a huge budget, so we get to go to very expensive training classes and have brand-new equipment, constantly. my squadron is very lazy relaxed, and we do almost no work.
bad: as the lowest ranking ssgt in my section, i won’t have a troop for a couple years; yeah that would be less stress, but i also need to grow up and learn how to take care of people – what if when i pcs’d i was ncoic, and had never been in charge of anyone? plus, expensive training with no practical application = zero retention. it’s a waste of money if i don’t ever use the skill. i just don’t feel that we work enough there, which means i’m unsatisfied with work, and i end up drinking too much out of boredom – i’m wayyyyy too young for that.  

of course, i could just wait til this time next year and hopefully be allowed to apply for Syracuse, and then go to it in the fall of 2010. it’s just that it would be almost 2 years of inactivity, which makes me feel like i’m being choked while drowning in quicksand.

option b: volunteer for Korea/Turkey and gtfoTx.
good: i’d be in  a sweet foreign country, and working at an AFN shop. new culture to learn, bits of a language to pick up, and a whole new job spectrum. AFN does strictly broadcast stuff, so i’d do more news and at a quicker pace than ever before; aaaaand i would get to learn how to be a radio dj = sweet.
bad: leaving Nona and Charlie for a year with someone (maybe Noozi). living in barracks for a year. real broadcasters have strict standards, and i’ve never worked for a legit broadcaster (not to mention never gone to school for it) so i’d be the jackass making all the mistakes. one hand i’d learn a ton, on the other, i hate being an idiot.

great thing – after that long year, i’d have my choice of bases.. and i’m thinking that Italy or Portugal is sounding damn skippy!

option c: volunteering for Combat Camera in San Antonio.
good: ComCam is cool; they fly to sweet places and film interesting things. San Antonio is a beautiful city with great weather. i like the idea of going to a unit thats just starting up; be getting a chance to affect history. if i bought a house in SA and got out at the end of this enlistment (5 more fucking years) then i’d already be established in a great city with lots of job ops. not to mention almost owning a home outright before i was 30.
bad: ComCam guarantees a deployment just about every year. the money would be good, but ew constant deployments. i’d need a roommate fo’ sho.

it would be nice to live somewhere i liked.

eh. who knows.

and now, off to a photo date with some brass!

xx

I’m thrill to say that, following yesterday Manifesto post, a few of you have written back to indicate your support and interest in building the SCE Community.

For a start, to give you an idea of the general direction we are heading, perhaps I am going to categories the types of Alumni activities that will be organized into Social, Technology and Community Involvement.

Social Events

For Social events, it will include Dinners, Movies Outing, Functions, Wine Appreciations, and Reunions. Social events not only is about chill-and-relax, it will be give excellent opportunity for you to network with one another, to enlarge your social circle, to get to know other people.

Technology Events

Technology events will include Talks, Seminars and Discussions revolving around IT, Computer Engineering, Social Media. I am hoping that I can invite someone from Google to give a talk about Google Wave, or Android Platform next year. I believe having such events will be helpful in your work; upgrading, and being in touch with latest technologies.

Why can’t we start something like Ted.com?

Community Involvement

Lastly, Community Involvement events are about enlarging our vision, as a whole, on how we can give back to the society, and impacting lives around us.We will start by visiting homes. In the future, I hope we will have enough support from Alumni to commit long term community service such as sponsoring IT training to Homes, Awesome software inventions, Impact training to 3^rd World countries. etc.

Actions Needed

So, I am looking for volunteers in either category to form small committee to help collate ideas, and organize the activities.  Don’t worry, I will be here to do the main bulk of logistic and liaising work, but I need the alumni support to initiate, and suggest to me what you want to do.

The categories are not complete, but I think it will be a good start. Please get involved, leave a comment belong or discuss it in the forum.

Thanks!

Moses

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It’s been a long time since I last have a blog. I have been thinking of creating a new blog for quite some time because I want to find somewhere to write down my thoughts and the happy things that happen in my life. It is quite sad to look back at the past two years of my college life without being able to recall details of the memorable times. There were also times where I feel very strongly towards certain issues but the urge to put down my thoughts cannot be fulfilled. Yep, so that’s why a new blog!

My examinations has just ended yesterday (though technically it hasn’t, because I still have a paper next Monday but it’s only 20% of a subject) and I feel glad about it. It is a huge load off me. There are papers which I think I did well, and there are also a couple of them that I think I screwed up badly. But that aside, I just hope that my hard work over the past few months will pay off.

I have many post-examination plans in mind. I have been thinking for the past few months what I want to do after “A” levels because I do not want to waste time. I want to learn driving. I want to pick up new skills, perhaps programming or learning a new language like Malay. I want to travel, since the next 5 months will be the last chance I can do that before I go to army. I want to set up a mini business. I know of many friends who are going to look for a part-time job but I don’t see the point in doing that. I want to be an entrepreneur in future, and the free time I have in the coming months is the best time for me to get an experience. Most importantly, I want to strengthen my relationship with people around me: my girlfriend, my family and my friends.

I don’t know why but I feel quite happy to be blogging again. I shall end for today!

• Ha, I so need one of these….
• So excited about this new start because I am totally living out a “second chance” myself: a movement of people that would let radical integrity and radical grace consume them in their life and leadership.
• Took a nap on the couch tonight…so comfy and safe
• No cocoa for brownies….but popcorn when I woke up hit the spot
• New to me, free clothes make my heart so happy. seriously. 2 pairs of running tights and 2 under armor long sleeve shirts (plus, one with the thumb hole things!!! I am so set for running in the minnesota cold….) not to mention a cute tank top, other clothes and a fun bag.
• This looks totally awesome. I miss my bike and I heart Africa.
• Feeling the days slipping by so fast…
• We leave for debriefing and Cape Town on Saturday–what!?
• Why am I still up? Oh right, I took a forever long nap tonight.
• What are you up to?

It’s official — the architects have come up with a design for the new downtown library, and we think it’s beautiful!  It will double the floor space we have now, give much better access for people with disabilities, and make the library much more user-friendly for everyone.  The plans were announced at a celebration on Nov. 18 — and are available here. (That is a large PDF file – almost 3 Mb.)  Drawings of the new building are also on display on our mezzanine, outside the Western Maryland Room.

Starting in the Spring next year, while the new library is being built on the site of the current one, we will continue to operate in a temporary location, which is still being determined.  We will look forward to moving into the beautiful new building in late 2011.

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(This post is just a reminder for me..if at any point I feel low or without any direction to follow)

Plan A :

If any  compatible proposal comes along then marriage and family. But as it’s highly unpredictable field and something beyond my scope and so I would not worry about it much. Let parents or Mr. right worry about it (i.e. I am not the boss here….believe me it never works if a girl tries to play boss in either case ) . I will just play my part.

Plan B:

ahh…This is my scope and I am the boss (feels good with the sound of being boss) .

- Finish research, development, publication, thesis by mid of 2010.
- Also prepare (hard!) for AGRE (Advanced GRE OR GRE subject test) and score high (Start of November 2010)
- Take TOEFL.
- Apply for PhD till mid of December 2010. Using scores, research experience etc.
- Enjoy time with Family till March 2011. Hoping positive result of admission.
- Apply for visa and all set for joining PhD.
-meanwhile just to help my restless (ahem ..some people may read it ‘nerdy’ ) nature get some teaching job.
- Get yoga instructor course (just a formality ..I am not-so-bad already )– Optional

Well and be prepared if the unpredictable plan A is realized then plan B goes to trash and re-plan B. But if Plan B is realized then plan A just becomes much more unpredictable. Whatever happens but one should always have plan first ..even to change it and here I am, ready with initial plans.

whew! …isn’t it nice to follow life with KISS (Keep It Simple and Straightforward/ Stupid)  principle ?

Watching harry potter, feeling content but a little headachey. Could definately go a few panadol, will hold off. Needs to fix face. Needs to finish dress. Needs to hang with best friend more.

Needs good life.