She was telling me about how her daughter went on a play date and the mother teaches english as a second language. From ,my understanding she is also quite proud of her heritage…which makes me wonder why she hasn’t killed my sister yet.

Anyway, being a teacher myself, i became interested and asked “Oh, so is (insert boys name)’s mother Latina?”

Her response.

“uhh…She’s brown, and “insert boys name” in less brown.”

*shakes head*

COME ON “INSERTS SISTERS NAME!!!!!!!”

Toilet paper.

Just hand the kids each a roll (or two) and let them go to town.

They’ll unroll it.

They’ll throw it.

They’ll toilet paper themselves.

And each other.

And the floor.

In the end, clean up never takes more than 5 minutes.
(Shockingly, the kids are usually in such a good mood after this activity that they are HAPPY to help clean it up!)

It might sound crazy but I swear to you, it has worked for me every time.
I’ve pulled the toilet paper out for numerous reasons and its never failed me. When the kids were playing on opposite sides of the room and had no interest in interacting, toilet paper got them to play together. When the kids woke up on the wrong side of the bed and were all cranky and about to tantrum, toilet paper got them to smile and laugh. When the kids were angry at each other over not sharing toys or taking the good spot on the couch, the toilet paper got them to forget their grudges.

Toilet paper. Pack a few rolls next time you’ve got plans with friends.

Easter is getting closer! I hope you all know why we celebrate Easter!? If not I will remind you this weekend. Today the kids and I went for a playdate at Irvine Regional Park and we did something that really doesn’t have anything to do with Easter but it’s still fun and the kids love it – egg hunt. I met up with Anna, Sunshine and their kids and had a wonderful day in the park (even if the kids and I were eating too much candy).

What did you do when you were a child?  I’ll tell you what I did before I went to school at the age of four.  Nothing.  That’s right, nothing.  My grandparents were my babysitters, and they had a fenced-in yard.  I played outside, mostly by myself, and sometimes with the neighbor girl who was three years older than me.  She liked to play “school”, which might have been fun, except she went to a catholic school…in the ’70s…need I say more?  So on the days that I would play with her, we played “school”, she was the teacher, and I would have to call her “Sister something-or-other.”  Class consisted of me sitting and listening to her while she sang, and periodically being hit with a wooden spoon.

Fuck that noise!  What the hell!?!  There must not have been any parents around, because I sure don’t remember any!

So, with all of my experience playing by myself, or with my grandma, or playing “school” with the neighbor girl, I went off to real school.  Guess what?  I know your mind is about to be blown right now, I WAS FINE.  I was a little shy at first, but it wasn’t traumatic, and my social skills weren’t lacking at all.  So how in the hell did I learn those social skills without Gymboree, and soccer, and dance class, and what-the-hell-ever else is out there?  I’ll tell you how.  I was a human being existing in a society.

I realize that I’m talking about only one child here, and that child is myself.  I also realize that anecdotes aren’t evidence, but just humor me for a minute…

Do you take your child with you to places like the grocery store?  Do your children attend family gatherings from time to time?  Do they ever go anywhere at all?  If so, your child is learning social skills.  Hopefully you are using positive guidance to help them along, but every interaction with any other human being whatsoever is socializing.  When your child sees you interact with other people, they learn social skills.  When your toddler rides the bus with you, because you live in a large city where mass transit is necessary, you’re teaching your child how to behave on the bus.  To children, everything is a learning experience.

For those of you who are put out by a child on a bus, or a plane, or anywhere else, go fuck yourself.  You need to realize that if a child is within earshot, or visible, they are learning social skills based on either your piss-poor attitude, OR your kindness and respect of other humans.  Pop quiz!  Which one do you think turns out better members of society?

The point is that every interaction with other humans shows children how they should interact.  So to the public, I implore you, be on your best behavior when children are around.  Say, “excuse me”, “please”, and “thank you.”

Let’s come back to all of the fun classes, early preschool, and playdates for which we schedule infants, toddlers, twos, threes, fours…  Totally unnecessary.  Yep.  Unnecessary.  Don’t get me wrong, those things are fun if you have the means, just not necessary for your child’s development of social skills.  And in moderation please!  No one needs to be scheduled every day of the week.  There is a lot for your two year-old to learn just by sitting and cutting up pieces of paper all by themselves.  Digging in the mud is hours of entertainment.  Let them be kids!

Now let’s say you agree with me, and opt out of all of the mommy-and-me crap.  How can you help bolster your child’s social skills?  Let them order for themselves at restaurants.  Let them hand the money or credit card to the cashier at the store.  Encourage them to ask another child to play at the park.  Let them speak for themselves when someone asks them a question.  Tell them what is appropriate and/or expected of them in different environments, like church, the library, or a Metallica concert.

There is absolutely no reason that a typically developing child needs you to sign them up for classes, and arrange playdates, all the time, everyday.  There is no prescribed amount of time they should spend participating in god-knows-what.  And there’s absolutely nothing that says children who play with older children have an advantage in school, or that playing with younger children delays development (just to reiterate for that mom in case she reads this, it’s fucking stupid).

Do your best to model appropriate behavior, and let your kids be kids.

One last thing, if you notice that your child is becoming mean and obnoxious, or exhibiting any other behaviors that you consider unsavory, before you read them the Riot Act, take a good, long look in the mirror.  Chances are, they learned it from you.  Yeah, you.

Janet is a mother of two amazing children, ages 3 and 5. After feeling frustrated with all the judgment that is passed around amongst moms, she decided to start Tell Another Mom. The website’s goal is to encourage moms to support one another, by being honest and telling one another about their struggles. Janet’s blog posts range from honest confessions to common conflicts amongst mothers. Stop by for a visit, and don’t forget to tell another mom that she’s a good mom.

My five year old son recently started Kindergarten and has been slowly growing out of his anxiety about… well, most things. When he came home talking about his ‘new’ best friend… I was thrilled. I wrote a note for his friend’s mom, and sent it to school with him. Days went by, weeks went by… and then finally, after about a month, I got an email to try to arrange a play date. I’m thrilled.

Should I have them over to our house or do we meet somewhere? I begin to worry about many things that might affect the outcome of this play date. This is my son’s very first best friend, and I will go to the ends of the earth to make sure that it goes perfectly. I realize after a few emails back and forth, that I’m not worried about two boys having fun…. I’m stressed about meeting this other mom.

My son has a birthday party that requires my husband to pick him up from on a Sunday that I’m working. I get home and I immediately drill him with questions about the party and more importantly who was there. He kind of laughs and tells me that he knows exactly which mom will be meeting me next week for our play date. Hmm… this can’t be a good sign. He informs me that, ‘She’s a Yummy Mommy.’ I know he’s just joking, but what does that mean exactly?

It means that she’s got legs that are twice the length of mine. It means that her hair is perfectly straightened without a single piece of hair out of place. It means that she is immaculately put together on a Sunday afternoon with knee high boots, designer sunglasses and a great jean jacket to boot. Now I’m stressed. We’re so different…we’re not going to get along. This play date is going to go terribly. It will be three hours of awkwardness and mommy competing.

Before you know it, I am getting us ready for our play date. I look in my closet. Hmm… no designer labels, not even a jean jacket. Crap. I decide to just be myself. Okay, maybe I won’t wear my bright pink crocs in the middle of winter, but I am definitely wearing my comfy jeans and zip up fleece. After all, we are meeting at an indoor play gym.

We arrive almost on time and I look around. I don’t see my son’s friend. And then the door opens… and I know right away that this is the mom that I have been stressing about all week. She’s immaculately put together. We say our hellos and the kids take off running. I remind myself that honesty is perhaps one of my best qualities, and I start the conversation by talking about my son’s anxiety. I share how ecstatic I am that my son has made such a great friend. She opens up about her son’s potty training struggles. I tell her about my son breaking his collarbone. She talks about struggling with working full time. Now the ball is rolling. Where are our kids? I totally forget that this is their play date.

So, I guess what I want to get across is that I was blinded by the judgment that we’ve all had at one time or another from another mom. I was so worried that this other mom would judge me, that I didn’t even realize that I myself was guilty of judging her based on appearances. The fact of the matter is that despite so many differences, me and this other mommy had one obvious thing in common… motherhood. As soon as I put my guard down and revealed the honest truth… that being a mom has it’s challenges… she did the same. So, next time you have a new play date with another mom, instead of looking in your closet for that you’re not… simply tell another mom the truth. Tell another mom that you have bad days. Tell another mom that you make mistakes. Tell another mom that you don’t love every minute of motherhood. And lastly, tell another mom that she’s doing a great job. You’d be surprised with what you might get in return.

LEAPFROG

What You Will Need:

• 2 or more Players (the more players, the more fun!)
• Backyard or other open space

What You Do:

• To play, have one or more players stand in a line (all facing forward), spaced 4 or more feet apart.
• All the players in the line should bend their backs while placing their hands on their knees to make a “high back”, or place their elbows on their knees to make a “small back”. Make sure to have players bend their head down, as well.
• The jumper selected to go first, stands behind the back of the last player, then leaps over the backs of all the players, one at a time by placing his hands on the back of the person at the back of the line. He must press on the person’s back and leap over the person, spreading his legs apart and hopping like a frog.
• When the leaper has arrived at the front of the line, he stops and forms either a “high back” or a “low back”.
• The last player in line now becomes the leaper, and leaps over the backs of all the other players.
• Continue playing until all players have had a chance to be the leaper.

So, what does this have to do with a “Playdate with God”, you ask?

I have often tried to skip over a step, a lesson, in life because it isn’t what I wanted to do or I did not feel up to it or for a variety of other reasons.  Purposefully skipping over a life step is like losing out on a piece of life, a lesson from God, an important growth moment.  I am purposing to live “set apart”, distinctly different, from the world in which I live because I am one of His children.  I cannot live that way and dare to miss a life moment, one of God’s lessons.  They are each and all too important as God has a plan for me and each moment is part of His plan for my life.

‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.  ‘Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  ‘You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.’”  Jeremiah 29:11-13 NASB

I want to miss nothing!  Life gets busy and suddenly I have missed much, but my desire is to miss as little as possible, so I need to be in the Word, on my knees, at His side.  I do not want to beat up on myself when I fall and fail at this, but I must pick myself up and ready myself to leap up onto and not over each lesson, each moment.  I have had a lot of seriousness in my life lately so playing a little childhood “Leapfrog” seems like a good thing for me right now, but my body won’t allow that.  So, instead, I shall sit with the Lord in the beauty of His days and learn from Him all that He will teach me.

Abiding with the Lord, rejoicing with Him, being able to glorify Him, and skipping over as little as I can, missing little or very little, is what I need for my peace.

LORD, I pray I stay near to You, am obedient to Your commands, follow Your steps so that I may grow more like You.  I ask for Your gentleness to hold me close in these days, Your lovingkindness to comfort me, Your love to live in me, and Your peace to reign in my heart.  Amen.

How do you embrace the God-joy? Every Monday Laura @ The Wellspring will be sharing one of her “Playdates with God”.  She welcomes us to share ours.  It can be anything: outside, quiet time. Maybe it’s solitary. Maybe it’s loud and crowded. Just find Him. Be with Him.

Photo: University of Tennessee, Knoxville – http://www.lib.utk.edu/arrowmont/Steve/Thumbnails/Access/arm00000072001.jpg

Graphic: St Anne’s Edgeside Primary School 2011 website- http://www.st-annes45.lancsngfl.ac.uk/prospectus/afterschool.html

I’m a British-born parenting guru, author, and star of TLC’s Take Home Nanny. I have over 17 years experience working with children and I know what works and what doesn’t. I founded Emma’s Children, a consulting service helping parents worldwide, and have a book coming out next year from Atria/ Simon & Schuster.

I’m now bringing my expertise into your home! You’ll get to look inside the “Nanny Emma” world. There’ll be loads of awesome tips, like fail-proof ways to get your little ones to eat what you eat, and tactics for handling everything from grocery store meltdowns to birthday party invitations. I’ll also do product reviews and a Q & A, so send in your questions!

Please subscribe, share and leave comments and suggestions for future topics. I will be answering questions!

Enjoy!

Emma x

–

Afterwards, we went home and I prepared for RaShad’s Popcorn & Pizza Pajama playdate. I was in such a rush with picking up last-minute items, cleaning, preparing the food, and setting up the concession stand that I forgot to take pictures (even forgot the move too)!

As the kids arrived, they were greeted with a goody bag containing their admission and food tickets as well as a yellow or orange glow stick. I ordered pizza from Sam’s Club and popped two different types of popcorn. The concession stand also consisted of cookies, chocolate galore!, marshmallow sticks, chips, juice and water. Everything was orange and yellow to go with the movie theme. We snuggled on the floor with our pillows and blankets and watched the Lorax (as much of it as the kiddos would allow). Then, we headed outside to the playground to burn off some energy before bedtime. The kids had a blast! What a wonderful way to end the weekend

Also this week, Trubba and I have both been sick. My hubby worked 7 days in a row so I’ve been trying to keep myself from being driven crazy. Homework you say? Nope, that’s still not done and it’s due tomorrow night. So, ugggggh.

We were actually able to have a playdate with a friend on Tuesday though, so that was exciting!! Trubba has never learned how to push himself on the ride-on toys (and doesn’t seem to have a desire to do so either), but he’ll push someone else. It was so cute since my friend’s son is only 5 days older than Trubba. I hope they grow up to be close.

Last weekend, the blogs didn’t get done because there was just too much going on to sit down and do anything about it….so I’ve been writing during the week again. Whoops! At least they’ve been posting on time right?

♣ ♦ ♠ ♥

Please help Leira! She’s at $256 of her $1000 goal with only 21 more days to go!

In celebration of Audrey turning 18 months old today I compiled a video of everything we did this past week together. Now that we are leaving L.A for Albany, GA in a month I am feeling this sudden need to wring L.A dry of all that it has to offer in terms of children’s activities. I plan to take Audrey to some cool places this week and look forward to sharing our adventures with you next Thursday! Until then, I hope you enjoy the video!

I wanted to take some time away from redesigning my blog to talk to you about something that I am sure many of you, like me have dealt with before. Or maybe this is where you are right now.

BE YOU!

Sounds easier said then [to be] done…

WELL IT”S NOT!!!

It is an impossible task to be someone else. You have only been given the BLUEPRINT to you [not them]. You know what you like. You know what you love. You know what tastes good to you. You know what tastes bad to you. Don’t get caught up [like a fish in a net] forced to see the world from a whole new perspective…THOSE AROUND YOU! Know your surroundings. Know what you like. Know what you love. KNOW, KNOW, KNOW…and then DO, DO, DO!

BE YOU!

If you KNOW you are an artist…draw!

If you KNOW you are a basketball player…play ball!

If you KNOW you are a writer…write!

If you KNOW you are a designer…design!

However, when you KNOW…GO!

Get going in DOING what it is you know YOU CAN DO! Don’t wait for encouragement from the crowd. The tickets to your one man show are PRICELESS! Only one person has paid the price for the ticket. And that one person is JESUS! When everyone else puts you down, or never shows up to support you, know that He does. Know that He loves you. It doesn’t matter who likes you or who doesn’t like you…KNOW that GOD LOVES YOU! He wouldn’t have given you the gifts and talents you possess if He didn’t love you. Don’t get caught up with the new bully on the internet called “like” or ” <3 “. I call it a bully because it acts bigger than what it is and tries to manipulate you into believing that either everyone loves you, or hardly no one is noticing you. I ask you this question: Why are you doing what you are doing? Are you doing it for man’s approval, or for God. You see with God, you already have his approval once you decide to follow his will. The moment you deny your flesh, and everyone else’s expectations of who you should be. Many people click the “like” button or heart button without ever reading your blog post, or learning about you. They click it just because…most stem from selfishness. A selfishness that says “if I like it, they will like me”, “if they like me, they will notice me”. Don’t believe the hype, believe the One!

BE YOU!

If no one ever likes it, you LOVE IT! Be like God and say, “Now, this is good.”

So rock your hair [in decency] the way YOU LOVE IT!

Wear outfits [in decency] the way YOU LOVE IT!

Eat meals [minus the gluttony] the way YOU LOVE IT!

And be you the way YOU LOVE IT…because GOD LOVES IT!

BE YOU and LIVE OUT LOUD!

Be encouraged. Be inspired. be who He created you to be.

With Love Always,

Bella Grace

P.S. Everything you do won’t be for everyone you know. If someone doesn’t like the way you created it, LET THEM GO MAKE THEIR OWN!

The Menu:

• Pinch Me! PB&J Sandwiches — I was too busy to make them so I bought premade ones from Sam’s Club
• Kiss Me Rice Krispies (Chocolate and M&M)
• Shamrock Sugar Cookies — Should have seen me making these with one had and holding Jayden with the other smh
• Lucky Leprechaun Liquid

I also made Brownie Bite favors and a skittle rainbow. The kids had a blast! Next up: Popcorn & Pizza Pajama Party!

RaShad thinks this was his birthday party lol

If you are in the North Carolina area and want to operate your own home day care, the following information will surely be a blessing to you:

Thank you Lord,

Your humble servant

From Charles Spurgeon’s “Faith’s Checkbook”

Going Out with Joy

March 12

And of Zebulun he said, Rejoice, Zebulun, in thy going out. (Deuteronomy 33:18) The blessings of the tribes are ours; for we are the true Israel who worship God in the spirit and have no confidence in the flesh. Zebulun is to rejoice because Jehovah will bless his “going out”; we also see a promise for ourselves lying latent in this benediction. When we go out we will look out for occasions of joy. We go out to travel, and the providence of God is our convoy. We go out to emigrate, and the Lord is with us both on land and sea. We go out as missionaries, and Jesus saith, “Lo, I am with you unto the end of the world.” We go out day by day to labor, and we may do so with pleasure, for God will be with us from morn till eve. A fear sometimes creeps over us when starting, for we know not what we may meet with; but this blessing may serve us right well as a word of good cheer. As we pack up for moving, let us put this verse into our traveling trunk; let us drop it into our hearts and keep it there; yea, let us lay it on our tongue to make us sing. Let us weigh anchor with a song, or jump into the carriage with a psalm. Let us belong to the rejoicing tribe and in our every movement praise the Lord with joyful hearts.

From the Faith’s Checkbook Mobile Devotional Android app – http://www.LookingUpwardApps.com/fcb

Be encouraged. Be inspired. Be who He created you to be.

With Love Always,

Bella Grace

My fascination with computers dates back to my work as a CME manager in the local offices of a global pharmaceutical. I had started to notice how colleagues failed to use technology to its fullest potential. MS Windows apps were being introduced at the time and many features were just too advanced for the average worker. It was hard to dispute and I am not sure how much has changed.

Some twenty years later, consumers are definitely more adept at managing software, however, few of us master all features on our personal, digital devices. Who has the time or interest to be a technology expert when the field is evolving so rapidly?

Most of us feel no pressure to be masterful. But I do wonder about folks who proudly assert ignorance of all things electronic. Some parents seem particularly comfortable admitting ignorance over devices they purchase for small children. Do adults ever worry before buying an iPod touch, a DSI, an iPad, a bedroom TV or a Wii for a young child? Many admit that they have not time to learn about installation, let alone how to monitor usage. The problem is that these kids become the super-users in the family (often within minutes of exposure) and it is hard for busy parents to stay connected.

Some parents I know are staunchly against introducing email, Facebook and video games for young children. And yet they offer unrestricted access through the family iPad, the Xbox 360, an iPhone or an iPod Touch. I volunteer in the grade 1 and 2 classes in my local school. I have noticed how most children have already spent time on YouTube, iTunes and Google – by the time they are five. Technological naivety of parents (or non-vigilence) makes for unrestricted access.

Admittedly, my own six year-old has navigated my 30-day Netflix trial, while sitting in the play area adjacent to my kitchen. He has also been exposed to the #1 games in North America while visiting friends and relatives (e.g. “Grand Theft Automotive”, “Soldier’s Duty Call”, Mixing Cocktail that Blow your Mind” and “Assassinate your Boss” – all names modified). When he returned from his last playdate, I silently cried to hear how the chainsaw could produce blood from the bad boss’s head. Researching the app, I learned how players could sneak a photo of a boss and upload it to the game.

To preserve my sanity (and some of my kids’ innocence), I have instituted an “absolutely no digital media unless you phone home and get my permission” policy. They are currently still too young to resent it, but it’s coming. As parents, it is our job to teach children to be responsible digital citizens and consumers. I accept that – I just thought I had at least 2 or 3 more years. Experience tells me that 6 years-old was already too late.

If I prohibit my children from playing at homes that have unsupervised media, then my children would have no friends. Host families are often dubious, unaware or in denial. The problem even extends to the teachers in our local school who recently showed Edward Scissorhands (rated PG14) to a grade 3 class. It is one of my favorite movies but I hope the teacher skipped the partial nudity, boyfriend violence, bodily harm and seduction scenes.

It is now so “au courant” to expose children to graphic imagery (and apparently just as easy to defend) that it would be easier to relocate my family to some spot in Pennsylvania, than to change society`s acceptance of that practice.