Am I a different kind of black folk? Am I a different kind of mom?

Every day I go to pick up Ahmir at preschool, I ask him what he did and who he did it with. I’m interested in building his group of friends beyond those he sees every day to especially those he sees at preschool only twice a week. For several weeks now he has spoken about a little boy named Peter, so on Thursday as we were leaving, I asked Ahmir to point Peter out to me.

“Mommy, there he his!”

I spotted Peter, and fortunately, he was there with a woman, someone I presumed to be Peter’s mother. I encouraged Ahmir to say goodbye to Peter, thinking it was a good opportunity for me to introduce myself to Peter’s mother and set the stage for sometime after the winter break to possibly have Peter over for a playdate.

Some background before I continue – a few months back I wrote this note about the racial self-segregation at this preschool and my concerns about it. Since then I’ve learned, from both parents and teachers and also some great books, that this is entirely normal behavior. What parents can and should do, however, is have explicit conversations, starting at 3 or 4, about race and difference and equality or else children will come to their own conclusions, including inferences about in-group superiority or inferiority.

So, as I am walking up to this woman, who is dressed very nicely with a fancy silk scarf around her neck, black boots, pretty jewelry and makeup, I become aware of what I must look like. I’m actually aware of this each time I walk into the school because I know I look very much unlike most of the middle-class white women who come to pick their children up in the middle of the afternoon. First, which I actually think might be more indicative of my difference than my race, is the fact that I look so young. Most people, be they black, white, or whatever, cannot believe that I have two children. I am often mistaken for an undergrad that is volunteering at the school, or possibly a grad student, but never as a parent. Not only do I have a young face, but I’m sure I dress the part as well. I’m usually on my bike, in yoga pants or jeans and sneakers. In the winter I have on a winter hat, and maybe a bookbag. So I’m sure that as I approached this woman yesterday, my sneakers, jeans, and leather jacket indicated to her a difference in age of at least 10 years.

But the next part is about race, and then class. There are two things about the school worth mentioning here. First, the school, which is affiliated with the university and is on campus, offers a scholarship for families who can’t pay full tuition. We are one of those families. However, if you are a family that lives in Palo Alto (the neighboring city), where the median family income is $117,000, you probably don’t need the scholarship. On the contrary, if you live in East Palo Alto, where the majority of the brown people in the area live, and the median family income is $44,300, you might need the scholarship. Anecdotally, there is a perception in the area that if you are black, you live in EPA. I believe the same applies at the school.

So while I cannot say for sure, of course, as I approach this woman, not only do I think she is ascertaining my age, she is also taking account of my race and my class. And it shows. She has absolutely no interest in making conversation, talking about our children’s friendship, or anything. She wants to get away from me and Ahmir as fast as she can. She is polite, not rude, but any fantasy that I had establishing a relationship is gone before I had any chance to dream one up. And for a brief second I wanted to shout out – but I’m different, don’t you see! Can’t you tell by the way I talk that I’m just like you! Actually I’m probably smarter than you – I have a BS from Wharton, and an MA from Penn, and I’m working on a JD and a PhD from Stanford, and everyone thinks I’m, brilliant – hey wait!

But I didn’t. She walked away, and I’m glad she did. ‘Cause I don’t want to play that game. I hate the “I’m different” game that so many of us play in order to gain favor in white folks eyes. I shouldn’t have to prove that I’m somehow “worthy” of your attention by distancing myself from people who look like me to show that there’s another “kind” of black folk out there that white people can feel comfortable around. By trying to solidify our class differences, they are playing a very simple conquer and divide tactic. Of this, I want no part. If you think I’m from EPA, whatever, so be it. Where one lives is nothing to be ashamed of. How much money one makes it nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, on the real – I make LESS than the median EPA income. How dare I be ashamed of being associated with hard working people who go to work every day?

But back to the story – I can’t deny that her snub doesn’t hurt. And Peter’s mother was not the first and she won’t be the last. While this is the first parent I’ve had the nerve to approach, I’ve watched other pairs of parents strike up conversations, swap numbers, and arrange playdates this quarter. But it’s never happened with us, at least not yet, I guess I should say. Even when you are used to it, something in you hopes for the best, hopes that it will be different this time. And for me, each time it’s not, instead of the hurt becoming less painful, it is like the knife just becomes sharper. But I thank God that my son is too young (I hope) to understand the snub that woman dealt us, even though I am sure that the loss is hers and not ours.

Do we need to prove our difference to make white people feel more comfortable? I remember once Will and I were having a conversation at a bar on Germantown Avenue with this white guy, and at the end of it he said, “Now if more black people were like you guys…” and my response was, “Then what?” I can’t even remember what we were “like” that night, but I remember thinking to myself, “Something just went terribly wrong…”

I have a habit of making white people uncomfortable. How, I’m not quite sure – I look them in the eyes when I speak, I dunno. But I have to admit, I like it. Discomfort is important. Maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up middle class and now I’m chasing this high prestige occupation so I have perspective on both and find that I have a foot in both worlds and that makes them uncomfortable. I talk a lot of shit, even in class I challenge professors and I use slang and references to pop culture. I avoid academic language and legalese and try to talk so that my mommy and daddy could understand (who are both smart people, just not academics.)

Maybe it’s because I defy stereotypes of what a black female young-looking, dreadloc-wearing, yoga-doing, joint-degree pursuing, fibromyalgia and bipolar-having mothering academic is supposed to look like, which is weird because I don’t know nobody besides myself doing it so I don’t know what the stereotype would be.

When folks find out that I homeschool my little darlings, I usually get THE question (and yes, it is THE question), “What about socialization?”

*sigh*

My children have been involved in or are still involved in: organized sports (soccer), drama, homeschool choir, youth, children’s church activities, co-ops, summer camp, homeschool groups, group art classes with professional art teacher, group sign language class and of course, playdates and field trips with other homeschoolers, church friends and family. My children are taking piano lessons and my oldest is in a Youth Praise band at church.

And all these activities are on top of the fact that all three girls are with each other under the same roof (and sharing the same bedroom), learning to get along and build loving relationships on a daily basis.

I am at a loss as to how they can be more “socialized” than they already are.

They are learning at their own pace and finding weaknesses and strengths along the way.

They are pursuing avenues they might not would be able to do otherwise.

They are finding WHO they are…and who they are not. (and loving one another in the process)

Homeschooling…what a trip. (we take tons of those, too).

The world is our classroom – and the world is our critic.

It’s all part of the journey.

And regardless of what anyone says or thinks – it’s one journey I wouldn’t trade for the world. 

Finally, some answers to the question I’ve heard literally hundreds of times over the past few days: What can I do to help?

First, the practical stuff: We will need dinner tomorrow (Thursday) and next week (Monday through Saturday). If you’re interested (and have time), please email my friend Julie Rink Mokotoff at juliemoko@hotmail.com with your contact info and any day you’re not available, so she can create a schedule. There are bound to be more offers than days, so she’ll do her best to work you all in now or later, depending on our needs as the weeks (and perhaps — but hopefully not — months and years) go by.  She will reply to you with your assigned day and directions on how to deliver. These need not be big or fancy meals; just enough for me and Mark (as Austin, if he’s able to eat at all, will be on a restricted diet, and Braedan will likely eat elsewhere) and we won’t often be in our house at the same time, so dinners should be something we can split up and heat or reheat depending on when we actually have a moment for mundane things like food. I’m allergic to shellfish (and have a strong dislike of mushrooms) but other than that, anything is fair game. And don’t worry about dessert — I do not intend to take those “fattening up” posts literally!

Next, playdates: Breadan will need to be picked up from school some days next week. My parents are in town and have a pretty open schedule but, since he’ll already be sleeping there, it seems more fun for him to get to go to a friend’s house. I’ve had many offers over the years from people willing to host him, but, without offending anyone, we do want him to be as comfortable and familiar as possible, so will try to accept only those offers from his already established buddies.  He finishes school at 3:05 on all days but Tuesday, when dismissal is at 2:05. His teacher has said he is welcome to stay with her in the classroom for an extra twenty minutes or so if your own child’s pick-up creates a conflict. Please email Lisa Welsh at lisabwelsh@hotmail.com with your availability and she will assign days and provide you with directions to Fairfax School. Again, we will try to work people in as time goes on.

And now for the less practical but just as important stuff: Back in October 2007, I decorated Austin’s hospital room with “wishing stars” which dangled from the ceiling and contained individual wishes sent from friends (and strangers) near and far.  Some were funny, some heart-warming, all sincere. And he loved them. We used to lay together in his hospital bed and he would reach up to his stars as they twirled and spun above us through those long and sleepless nights.

Given that wishing stars seem particularly appropriate at this time of year, I will once again be hanging them, both from the ceiling and on the artificial tree we’ll bring with us next week. I am happy to transcribe people’s wishes if they want to send them along electronically, but I also welcome homemade stars (the more glittery and colorful, the better) from as many of you as possible.  Drop the off at our house or with Braedan at school, and if you are a pre-school family, leave them with Lola Chicotel (in Mrs. B’s morning class) for her parents Christie and Dom to deliver to us.

The wish I will write on my own star is one I hold tight in my heart for both my children. It may seem simple at first, but it requires the attainment of many many milestones along the way. And that is that both my boys get the chance to be happy grandfathers.

If that wish comes true, then we really will be the luckiest.

I miss having playdates.

You know what I’m talking about… those times when you went over to a classmate’s house after school and played till you fainted from exhaustion – or when your mom arrived to take you home. The times where you played house and took the role of the dad because you were taller. The times where you made hot chocolate and “accidentally” spilled the saucepan onto the kitchen floor. I miss those times, and the friends I shared them with.

Nowadays, I really don’t see my friends outside of school. I would be lying if I said I was a loner, because I’m not. I know with eating disorders a lot of people have come out of it with a ruined social life and often suffer social anxiety when they’re out with friends because there’s always that big question: “Will I have to eat?” A lot of my friends at school are Asian, so if they go out, they’ll go for bubble tea. I’ve been invited before, but I’ve declined because ED screams that bubble tea is loaded with calories and therefore not good for me. People will go to the movies… to the mall… into Manhattan… I don’t want to go because ED doesn’t want me to. I’m terrified of the food I may have to eat.

Another thing is the exercise I “have” to do. My doctor wanted me to incorporate exercise back into my life now that I’m healthy, which means means taking daily twenty- to thirty-minute walks. Well, guess what. I get so anxious that I overexercise on weekends because without the stuff my doc assigned me to do, I probably walk a good forty minutes already everyday for school. I don’t have time to take walks other than after school so I don’t have time to hang out with my friends. And it’s not like I can wait till later to do it, or do it in the morning before school… because it’s too dark. I’ve confided my issues with a few friends; one of my friends is a vegan and she has issues with eating too, so she somewhat understands, but… it’s not the same, y’know?

I don’t do things on weekends. I have dance in the middle of the day on Saturdays, so that’s out of the question… and I have to food shop with my mom on Sundays because I need to make sure I get the food I need. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I can’t exactly get together with friends by calling them up because in NYC kids can go to the same high school, but come from all five boroughs. It’s not like I can go walk over to a friend’s house and ring their door… I’d probably have to take a train and three buses to do that. -_-

I’m trying to sign up for ice skating on Friday afternoons with a program through my school, and some of my friends are doing it too. I guess I can consider that “hanging out”, and it’ll count as my exercise. I’ll be able to have fun and be with my friends, minus the worries of exercise and suddenly getting fat. It’s just things… could be a lot better for me, you know? On Tuesday I’m going to talk to my doctor about the exercise issue because I want a social life. When she first told me to start taking the walks, I cried because I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to fall back into my old habits, and I interpreted that as though I was getting fat. I didn’t want to obsess over it. Well, guess what happened.

I apologize for this whiny and bitchy (not to mention long) post, but the way I started this off… missing those elementary school playdates… it just put me on a roll. Now I’m wondering how many words I’ve typed in this blog, so probably now I’m gonna copy and paste everything into Pages and see… heh, have a good night everybody. :]

– Delilah

I walked my kids to school today, which is a rarity lately. Even rarer, I walked with them right to their classrooms today. And while I was there, two different moms approached me to arrange playdates for each of my kids.

I guess this kind of playdate arranging is normal for the mommies who gather for pickup and drop off. But the only way to talk to me usually is to call or email me, so I am not part of this outside-the-classroom arranging.

So when I appeared today, a couple moms saw a chance to pounce, which is great. My kids would love these playdates. We don’t need them perhaps like other families, since my kids play at the aftercare program every day instead of playdates. But still, playdates are an important social interaction for kids this age. And unless I go out of my way to set things up for the weekend, they just don’t happen for my guys.

So happy to set up a couple playdates this morning, I am now worrying that the fact that I’m a working mom is seriously hurting my kids social life. Are they left out because I can’t do many playdates, or because I’m not at school to see the other mommies to set up casual playdates?

Another working mommy dilemma…

I walked my kids to school today, which is a rarity lately. Even rarer, I walked with them right to their classrooms today. And while I was there, two different moms approached me to arrange playdates for each of my kids.

I guess this kind of playdate arranging is normal for the mommies who gather for pickup and drop off. But the only way to talk to me usually is to call or email me, so I am not part of this outside-the-classroom arranging.

So when I appeared today, a couple moms saw a chance to pounce, which is great. My kids would love these playdates. We don’t need them perhaps like other families, since my kids play at the aftercare program every day instead of playdates. But still, playdates are an important social interaction for kids this age. And unless I go out of my way to set things up for the weekend, they just don’t happen for my guys.

So happy to set up a couple playdates this morning, I am now worrying that the fact that I’m a working mom is seriously hurting my kids social life. Are they left out because I can’t do many playdates, or because I’m not at school to see the other mommies to set up casual playdates?

Another working mommy dilemma…

The conversation goes something like this:

Me:  Why are all your animals on the couch?

Miss Q: They’re sick, Mama.

Me: Oh, that’s not good.

Miss Q:  I’ve put them to bed.

We’ve had this conversation before all of her playdates this month.  It’s not that she, Miss Q, is sick, or doesn’t want to play.  She’s all for having friends over.  The fact that all her animals come down with ailments, moments before her friend arrives, can be explained with one word: possessiveness.

For example, last Wednesday, Miss Q lay twenty, or so, of her stuffies on the couch, then proceeded to sit in her doll’s stroller in front of said couch.  Her friend took no notice of her and played.

I’ve tried to ignore her – if she’s going to be silly, then she could be silly.  But, it’s so hard watching her sit, so I often resort to coaxing her into play – with no avail.  Whatever I bait her with, she hurriedly does and returns to her post.

Miss Q has no problems sharing, if asked, though sometimes she’s crafty.  If I ask her to find her friend a toy, she’ll leave her perch, and race to the shelf.  She either come back with a toy, she hasn’t played with for ages, or a random kitchen utensil from her Fisher Price kitchen.  There have been a few occasions when she’s returned with a stuffy – but never the dear ones.  The only person she’s conscientious about sharing her dear toys with is Miss S.  This is lovely and heartwarming, but it would be nice if it extended to her friends.

I can empathize with her possessiveness – she may come by it honestly.  As my friend reminded me today, “You still don’t like sharing your pillow.”  That is true.  I don’t even like my husband breathing on it. (Shiver.)

So today, I told Miss Q that she could pile 10 toys on my bed.  Those 10 toys were off limits during the playdate; Miss Q’s friend would play with the other toys in the house, and when she left, the toys would stay.

Brilliant plan.  Limited success.

Miss Q flew around the house gathering her precious stuffies and some random things she couldn’t live without – like the base of a Koosh Ball.  I ended up giving her 2 bonus toys, for 12 total.  We then piled some toys on the coffee table for her friend to play with – I made sure they were ones Miss Q actually played with, though she snuck in salad tongs.

Her friend came, played and left empty handed.

Miss Q watched, stockpiled, shared when asked, and finally took to wandering around with her friend.  I believe the latter was in order to keep an eye on her possessions.

The treasures were collected from my bed, after Miss Q’s friend left, including a cat I’d forgotten to return after confiscating it earlier this week.  Sharing is hard when you’re two; it’s hard when you’re 32.

Topic: Christmas in the Philippines
When: Nov 20th (Friday), 10 AM
Where: Schauder Home (Sterling)
Format: 3 hours

1. Opening Prayer
2. The Belen/ Christmas Story
3. Doing the “Mano Po”
4. Hanging of the Parol in the Christmas Tree
5. Pork Menudo cooking demo by Mrs. Betty Chua
6. Eat Lunch (Pork Menudo, Pancit Canton, Pandesal, Cookies and Hot Chocolate)

When my oldest was 4 years old we took her out of daycare and put her in preschool. I had been working for myself for a year at that point and could schedule meetings easily during preschool time. It was a big change in lots of ways, but a good one. About a month into preschool K was invited on her first playdate. Since we’d been in daycare the playdate thing hadn’t been an option before that. I have to admit, I was a little nervous sending my child home with someone I didn’t know too well but my instincts said it was okay. So I let the other mom take her home from preschool (she didn’t seem like a psychopath) and then when I picked K up I took a look around the house and it seemed like a great place for my daughter to spend the afternoon. (side note: that house became a second home to my kids, good instincts). I quickly reciprocated the invitation and became fully inducted into the world of playdates.

Playdates are awesome things. Don’t get me wrong, I like building with legos and doing crafts and even playing catch. But doing those things every single day starts to wear on me. Especially when I can’t stop thinking about the laundry and the mopping and the work projects waiting for me. A playdate takes some of the pressure off a parent. And, let’s be honest, other kids are usually more fun to play with than mom. When the kids turn 5 playdates at your house are almost as good as sending your kid to the friend’s house. They occupy each other thoroughly, they are old enough to know the rules (and usually follow them) and they don’t want a lot of parent interference. As long as I keep an ear open so I have a general idea of where they are and what they are doing, I can get all sorts of stuff done.

The best situation is having a kid within walking distance for playdates. Then your child and the other child can wander back & forth all day. Need to run a quick errand? Send them across the street. It’s a pretty sweet deal – and I’ve got that going on right now with my neighbor. When the boys are not in preschool, they always want to play together. They play well together and everybody is happy.

Here’s the problem. There is another mom in the neighborhood with a boy the same age as my son. She does not understand the notion of the playdate. She calls to play or sees the boys outside playing and comes over – and she stays. SHE STAYS. That is NOT how the playdate is supposed to work. Now, even though my son is totally, happily occupied I still can’t get to the laundry, mopping or work projects. Now, I’m stuck entertaining. If we were good friends with lots in common I wouldn’t mind it – at least for a while. But any true friend of mine wouldn’t want to stay here for hours watching her kid play. My friends get it. Go do something while the kids are occupied for goodness sake!!!

It’s almost to the point of playing only in the backyard so she doesn’t see us. Seriously, I can’t handle spending 90 minutes of my day making small talk with this woman. My neighbor (who thankfully has graduated successfully from playdate 101) agrees. It’s painful when they come over. And besides – do I look like a psychopath??? My house is like kid-wonderland. There are toys everywhere, I’m totally laid back about messes, I like to get the kids involved in fun projects – who wouldn’t want to leave their kid here and run away? Backwards mom down the street that’s who.

(gee, I hope she doesn’t read this blog. Then again, maybe I do hope she reads this blog so she’ll relax a bit and let go… cut the apron strings… let the kids have a playdate without her. Then I’d have a backup playdate house for those days when I need to kick J out. Except of course, her kid is a bit awkward at playdates – you can tell he doesn’t get out much – and J doesn’t always like playing with him. J thinks he’s a baby…. makes me want to teach my kid what a momma’s boy is and caution him to never be one. But then J would bust that out at some totally inappropriate moment and that’s not nice at all is it.)

It’s raining like crazy, and it doesn’t seem like it is going to stop until May… Which brings me to my problem…

I have one kid who could read all day in her pajamas and hang out without doing much, then I have another one (let’s call her bouncy ball) that already, at 9 in the morning, is bouncing around wondering what we’re going to do today. She’s asked if we can go shopping, swimming… anything. Did I say that it’s only 9 and I’ve only had one cup of coffee? Plus I wouldn’t want to go swimming on a day like this in a million years.
I can’t send bouncy ball outside because it’s raining and I don’t want to go outside. Lazy bones won’t get dressed, so we can’t go anywhere… oh problem!

Socialite vs homebody… what to do?

Halloween 2008 @ BCM

Free admission dates for November 2009:

Early bird admission is available before 11am on the second weekend of each month.

November 14th and 15th

Wednesday afternoons enjoy free admission to the Museum from 2 to 5 p.m

November 18th & November 25th

The Brooklyn Children’s Museum is located at:
145 Brooklyn Avenue (at St. Marks Avenue), Brooklyn, NY 11213
(718) 735-4400

For more information check out:

www.brooklynkids.org

when i first pictured Harpers 1st birthday party, i hardly thought i’d have the time or engery to make all of the decorations. but after nearly vomiting at all of the ugly party favors and themes that target had (yes, even my mecca makes some mistakes), and seeing how expensive it is to buy them off of etsy, i did it. and i’m really excited to hang everything, blow up balloons (well, bree will be doing that), arrange things and admire my handy work. it might look like a hot pink and green monster threw up elephants and polkadots all over my house, but i’m cool with that.

we have a busy next few days. tomorrow evening we are heading to Stacy’s house for some photos! she has a photography group that meets monthly and she has asked Harper to be her model! i’ve got a few cute outfits and hats ready to go. now all we need is photoshop to clean up the lovely scratch she gave herself right by her eye (sad!).

we also have a playdate with Harper’s friend Julia and her mom Tiffany. Julia is a little over a month older than H and they really enjoy playing together. they haven’t seen eachother since august, so it will be fun to see Julia walking and now they can really play since H is almost doing it, too. speaking of walking, she has decided the laundry basket is the perfect thing to push around the living room to practice. so cute. and cheap!

friday my mom is taking off to help me with getting ready for the party and saturday is the big ONE. hopefully i’ll be so busy entertaining that i will forget my baby is no longer a baby (though she always will be to me). if only i didn’t have all this time beforehand to think about it…

to top it all off, i feel like i may be getting sick. fortunately it’s probably all in my head, because i’m a hypochondriac (have i mentioned that before? that’s a whole ‘nother post). regardless, i’ve been making out with a glass of airborne frequently because seriously, i.can’t.get.sick.

i’ll leave you with some pics from today. sillyness in the M household:

Open Toddler/Preschool Playtime and Parent Cafe’

Wednesday 10:30-12:00 and 1:00-2:30

Thursday 10:30-12:00 and 1:00-2:30

Friday 10:30-12:00 and 1:00-2:30

90 minutes $7.00 per visit or purchase a 5 visit pass for $25.00!!!

*Coffee, Tea and Snacks are available to purchase.

Tea Party Playdates!

Wednesday 3:30-5:00

Thursday 3:30-5:00

Friday 3:30-5:00

$15.00 per child. 90 minutes.  Dress up, makeover/face paint, snack and beverage included!

$4.00 per adult. Coffee or Tea and Snack included!

*5 visit pass available for $55.00!!!$20 savings!!

*SATURDAY AND SUNDAY BY APPOINTMENT ONLY.  CALL AHEAD OR SAME DAY TO CHECK AVAILABILITY AND SCHEDULE!*

*OPEN TO SHOPPERS DURING BUSINESS HOURS UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED!

Oink Oink.

So on Tuesday, we went to my friend’s house for a playdate. Within twenty minutes of arriving, her sister called to say that she was at the doctor’s office waiting for results of a flu test. They knew she had A flu but they didn’t know which flu it she had caught.

Oh, great. Friend’s sister had been at my friend’s house on Saturday (three days earlier) for a party… Needless to say, we high-tailed it out of her house, came home and went right up to the shower where all three of us girls hopped in and soaped up. Twice.

I’m a big germ-a-phobe, and it’s been increasingly worse since I’ve been pregnant. So after our shower, I disinfected the door handles, the floors, the carpet, the hallway, the staircase, etc – anything we had crossed paths with when we came home.

I really don’t want to get sick!!! I also don’t want to buy into the hype of the whole Swine Flu thing… but they keep reporting pregnant women are dying from this. Naturally, I’m frightened by this. That because some idiot decided to go to the grocery store even though they’re sick – I might die as a result of their negligence? YIKES.

Anyways, so my friend’s sister DOES have the SWINE FLU!!! We’re feeling fine so far (knock on wood). I’ve been feeling a little fatigued but that’s usually par for the pregnancy course. As of this morning, no fevers, no sore throats, or coughing. Hopefully we’ve escaped being infected.

I now have the tough decision of deciding whether or not to attend Halloween at the same friend’s house. We weren’t planning on letting the girls get candy from anyone (they’re only two after all) or go up to doors this year anyways because of all the flues going around. But now I’m wondering if we should scratch the whole idea of attending a ‘party’ all together. It might be the safest option. Yes, I know her house probably doesn’t have the germs anymore. Yes, I’ll feel like a paranoid freak. Yes, I’ll feel like a bad mommy for not bringing my kids out on Halloween…. but let’s face it. They’re only two, it’s not like they know that most kids go trick-or-treating.

Plus, it might be nice just to lay low and keep an eye on our house. You KNOW I don’t trust the neighborhood hooligans. (And no, if we stay home we will NOT be handing out candy. It’s not the young kids on our block, it’s the rest of the kids in the neighborhood who have certainly proven they don’t deserve any candy. Hooligans.)

Go to Storybook Tea and Boutique, say Deanna and Elijah sent me and receive an additional 10% off all merchandise and/or receive 20% off a playdate or birthday party!!!
Check out my page on Storybook Tea and Boutique or go to www.storybooktea.com
Storybook Tea is located at
2015 Harkins St
Bremerton, WA 98310
360-479-3501

*Accomadations, respect, acceptance and patience especially for children with special needs.

When a child bursts into tears or a tantrum, his perspective on the world has momentarily shattered. His mind can no longer take in information—he can’t make sense of anything. Hurt has flashed, big and hot, and his life feels broken. Every cry has its own particular feel, its own unique emotional tenor. We can’t know precisely what our children feel during these emotional moments, but it’s clear that these moments feel dire.

Click here to read more of this article by Patty Wipfler, September 2009 column for “The Connected Parent” at Cleverparents.com

You can access more of Patty’s articles at Clever Parents.

We love playdates. There isn’t anything that is much more fun in my son’s eyes than playing with/around other kids. I was doing a little research on playdates and really like the Babycenter Guide to playdates – very useful. I hope that while the weather holds out we can go on as many outdoor playdates as possible. There will be a lot of indoor playdates to come during the winter!

Also a reminder to parents with younger kids is that it’s great to have baby playdates. Bring kids over, they’ll probably just lay next to each other or crawl around but it’s great to get interaction started early. Moms get to chat while babies explore a new friend, but you have to be watchful because babies tend grab eachother’s faces!