Shopping, holidays, newspapers and pretty much whatever you can think of, now lives, in some form, on the webosphere. It was only natural that courting would follow suit. Now you might think I’m slightly behind the curve here, online dating has been around for yonks! Indeed, Match.com was founded in 1993, when I was just 3 1/2.

So yes, in that respect, this blog is a little late. But that’s not what this blog is about. This blog is about ‘talking’ about online dating – a phenomenon that, though between friends is becoming more common, on the whole is taboo. Despite the facts and figures that are thrust before us on the tube, there still seems to be a ‘desperate’ stigma attached to the process.

Finding someone online? Why can’t you find someone normally? This is the heart of the problem – ‘normal’. What is normal? Times evolve, things change, and like it or not, talk about it or not, courting online is rapidly becoming the new normal.

Even with this firm viewpoint, however, I wasn’t prepared for the facebook inbox message that awaited me last Thursday. It was from one of my best friends and read: “You’re going to hate me…”

Well in normal circumstances receiving a message from a friend with those words would spark curiosity, but with this friend, well it ignited clammy-handed fear.

“What have you done?”

“I have signed you up for plenty of fish.com – singles website and THE hottest guy fancies you like super fit! xxxxx It’s so fun-havent put your name or anything obvi”

That is correct, she had joined the website, added a selection of photos, written a profile – all as me. And then, under this masquerade, sent out numerous ‘flirts’ to strangers. Oh and, when thinking she was writing about the height of the man I’d be interested in, she ended up writing that I was 6ft. Which at a modest 5ft 6 (at a push) is rather off the mark.

Anyhow, I would have asked her to shut down the account…but her superlative caught me, if the ‘hottest’ guy had been in contact, well I can’t really miss that, can I?

So I’m off on a date with a 29-year-old Doctor next week. I’ll keep you posted.

Taglines
* Just looking
* Looking for my best friend
* Wants fun and romance
* Anything that includes the word “spark”
* Any honest/decent men left?
* Looking to see what’s out there

Intro paragraph should include one of
* I never know what to write
* I hate talking about myself
* Friends describe me as…
* Not very good at this but…

Generic interests - choose any four of the following
* Going out to bars
* Staying in with wine and DVD
* Cocktails
* prefer pubs to clubs these days
* Days out
* Seeing family
* Seeing friends
* Meals at home
* Meals out
* Gym
* Yoga

Choose any number of negative statement
* Too many weirdos on here
* No time wasters
* No creeps or pervs
* Been treated badly by men from here
* If you’re married jog on
* If you’re not over your ex jog on
* No decent men on here
* Fed up – leaving soon
* Everyone I’ve met so far has been unsuitable

Choose one contradictory statement
* Require tall, dark and handsome / looks don’t bother me
* I’m an independent woman / first date: I’ll go along with whatever you decide
* Don’t want a man  who flashes money around / first date: expensive meal and then a cocktail bar

50% of your profile should discuss one of the following
* Music
* Your nieces and nephews or friends’ children and how much you adore them
* All the countries you have visited and the ten you want to visit this year
* The failings of previous partners and why the breakdown was entirely their fault

Finish off with one or two of the following
* Anything else, ask me
* Not a fan of endless emails
* Want a real man
* Specify a minimum height requirement
* Refer to a celebrity you really fancy and express a preference for somebody who looks like him (typically Ryan Gosling). Best used with the “looks don’t bother me” comment above.

He’s charming and banks on your compassion for his changing medical conditions, but don’t let him play on your empathy and compassion.

The best place for a guy like this is prison so he can’t continue to scam and harm well-meaning folks.

Anonymous

Another thing you need to know before reading any further; I am a serial singleton. Not something I particularly broadcast, not something I’m particularly proud of. I don’t know how to meet people, and the people I do meet have very little interest in me in that way… so cue the use of an Internet dating site.

I was too proud to try Internet dating for a very long time. A woman I worked with a while back was using Plenty of Fish… a free Internet dating site. She told me all the stories of meeting men, the funny ones, the awkward ones, the ones she’d see again, the ones she’d never see again. She had some success on there and it got me thinking, but not doing.

Every so often I meet up with some friends I used to go to school with. One of the girls happened to mention that she was on Plenty of Fish too. She’s stunning, and lovely and even she was on Internet dating. So I thought, sod it. So I signed up. Of course you get the weirdos looking for a one night stand, and then the straight-up weirdos who live online. But in there, well, there are some really nice guys.

The first time on there, I got chatting to a few guys, started to feel good about myself, but when it came to the crunch… none of them wanted to actually meet me. So I started feeling bad about myself again. And I deleted my profile.

So I returned again recently. New profile, new perspective on the thing. This time, I’m not investing in it. Who really cares? I’ve gone this long with no one liking me, would it really be the end of the world if I never found anyone? Let alone online.

Well I got talking to this guy. He seemed nice enough. We had a fair bit in common. Ok, so he was younger than me, but he seemed… nice. And he wanted to meet me. So we picked a day, I told a friend, he said he’d ring me so we could hear each other before our “date”. Seemed like the second attempt was working out well!

I planned on telling my designated friend exactly where I was going with this guy in case she needed to tell the police where I had gone. I text the guy on the day having not heard from him in a while. My gut already told me that it wasn’t going to happen. I had that feeling that it wasn’t going ahead. He text me back and explained that something had happened in his life and he couldn’t go on dates. I had 3 options: not reply, be rude to him for not telling me sooner, or reply saying that its fine and it happens… I realised I wasn’t rude enough to not reply and that I certainly wasn’t a bunny boiler. I told him it was nice to have almost met him, and I moved on. I wasn’t shocked.

It hasn’t put me off, not yet. But I’m not hoping for the world, or the stars. I’m happy with my friends and family, sure sometimes I wish I had someone who was more than a friend. But I have to believe it will happen when it happens.

And who needs a date on a Sunday afternoon? Instead I’m chilling in sweats watching Jonathan Creek… maybe this is why I’m single…

I ask this because there is a very nice guy that I have become friends with on campus.  He is a very nice guy, not the typical guy I fall for, but a nice guy.  Yes he is attractive. Yes he is ambitious. Yes he definitely has an interest in me.  Where’s the problem one may ask.  Well this problem comes down to race.  Sad as it is, I cannot date this guy because it would be rejected by my family.  My family just would not accept an interracial relationship.

However, if I was able to attract this guy without even trying (seriously, he just seems to fancy me for whatever reason), why can’t I do it with a guy that would be accepted by my family? 

2. That’s the line you’re going to feed me?

I have messaged several guys from POF.  I got to the point where, it was just nice to have someone to talk to and get to know.  Let’s call this guy Tex.  Tex and I messaged back and forth for a couple of days, and all of a sudden he stopped responding.  No big deal to me, I really only intended to be friends with him.  Well, Tex messages me tonight, ”Sorry, I never got an alert with a message from you.”  Sure you didn’t.  Keep in mind this is two weeks later.  It’s a dating site, one I’m sure that this guy has checked in the past two weeks.  My guess is nobody else was responding.  

3. Things have slowed down with Q. 

This makes me feel better.  I know, I know, I should face my fears.  I think things were moving just a bit too fast at that time, and it was freaking me out.  The story continues with this one.

4. I decided to add K on FB.

I talked to this guy for two weeks. Why couldn’t we be friends? He accepted it, and that is that. 

Definitely don’t go searching for a partner on 4chan.

Okay so the Internet Dating Fails was my favorite post that I did. I’m going to post more terrible ideas for Internet Dating. I just love how confident people get over the internet. You would never hear this shit come out of a guy’s mouth in a face to face conversation. Hiding behind a computer screen, everyone is Peter North. In reality, they are more like Michael Cera.

Please send any submissions to Logic1147 at Gmail dot com. Twitpic to @THElogic or fuggin’ Facebook me. I don’t mind. My full name is the website address. I don’t hide.

Thanks M and J.

JUMP

Doubly Cock-Blocked. No sex online. No sex from girlfriend.

Forever is a long time, bro. Even for an Israeli Soldier.

Hey, me be Pree. I jess jess wunna say u b pretty, yo. I got Master’s in Communications. Let’s date?

Your dumb and I’m ugly. Let’s mate. Haha, I’m Hugh.

Says the white rapper.

Hey. No answer? You must have a personality disorder, it can’t be that you’re not interested in me. That’s impossible.

I LIKE TO PASSIVELY AGGRESSIVE SCREAM. you feel me?!?!!!!!!

That’s a lot of pet names. Right, muffin?

Props on the dedication, homie.

All those things listed were bad, except bisexual? Or maybe he was speaking about one person?

You’re too good for me and here’s another reason why.

Those aren’t flowers. They are clubs. Let’s just call a spade, a spade. The quickest way to a woman’s heart is diamonds. BOOM!

I keep reading about people finding that someone via online dating, or simply meeting new people and going on dates (or multiple dates).  But after five years of on-again, off-again attempts at it, I just can’t make anything happen for me.  I’ve given it my best efforts, but the closest I ever got was one almost-date where I was stood up.  After all this time, that’s the only thing I have to show for it.

I’ve given up online dating several times before, only to return a few months later telling myself “this time it’ll work… this time it’ll be better…”  And still nothing.  But I swear this is it.  I’ve erased my POF profile.  I’ve taken down my latest OkC incarnation. In a way, I’m almost glad it hasn‘t worked.  I’m an old-fashioned kinda guy and I’d prefer to meet someone the old-fashioned way – which is actually what I’ve been making more of an effort to do lately.   I believe online has ruined dating forever (a great article that says it all perfectly).

Now, whether I can find anyone left out there in the real world and not on the computer remains to be seen…

I’m driving with my friend in the car the other day and she starts laughing.  She is on a dating site called “Plenty of Fish” and received this email:

“I would swim up the amazon with 45 pound dumbbells tied to my scrotum and Ellen Degeneres’ queef as my air supply if it meant i could eat a sea food dinner with you over skype on a dial up internet connection”

Ok.  What? This is the same site that I did a while back where a guy said he wanted to eat mashed potatoes and gravy off my chest.  Is it a wonder it is virtually impossible to date in this area?  What exactly are you supposed to say to a guy who says that to you?  I’m all for funny guys but sweet baby jesus.

I don’t think I have to tell you she didn’t respond.  The search continues…

Well, I think I’d classify myself as nerd, rather than geek, but whatever.  A.k.a. “I is a nerd!”  :-)  Certainly not nerdly in all regards, but definitely many (and certainly not only and stereotypically so, but do have many nerdly traits/correlations).

And what motivated me to take that quiz?  Plentyoffish (PoF) - It wants me to update my profile.  First item it shows me is “Describe your personality in one word”. It offers me 52 choices, one of them being “Brogrammer”.  Wasn’t particularly sure what that was, so, Google … top two “hits” (search results), the first link to definition(s), the second, link to aforementioned quiz.  So, I take the quiz.  And subsequently looking at definitions – yeah, I’m not a “brogrammer”.  Don’t think I ever care to be some style piece for someone to hang on their arm.  Just not me.  I’m into substance, not flash.

And what the heck was I doing on PoF?  Well, still (mostly) backtracing (going backwards) here, had been a long time (many months or more – probably closer to a year) since I’d logged onto PoF, and also, with relatively negligible exceptions, been quite long (several months or more) since I’d logged onto OkCupid.  And, what the heck was I doing logging into those sites again?  Well, a few considerations/factors.  An acquaintance recommended/suggested PoF (I actually reencountered this acquaintance on OkCupid – having known this acquaintance from years ago, both before Facebook, and also a bit via Facebook).  So, PoF being one of the (at least potentially useful) “free” “dating” sites, and since I already had account on there, I figured I’d also hop back on there – but perhaps more so OkCupid, but in either case, both.  And why bother getting back on either of them at all?  Well, because I’ve been meeting quite absolutely no one … nobody at all.  Haven’t had a “date”, or even something like a casual (e.g. first) meeting approximating such since … geez, last year.  Haven’t even had a communication exchange possibly leading to such since last year – excepting one message I got on OkCupid, which I replied to, and never heard back (par for the course, rarely receive messages, and when I reply, about 90% of the time I never hear back – seems that’s generally the case for straight males on on-line “dating” sites).

Anyway, I figure nothin’s gonna happen, or at least that’s most likely the case, if I don’t even so much as try.  So figured I’d try … at least some wee bit.  Do not want it to be some huge resource/time burn/sink (as that tends to suck even lots more – especially with essentially zero results).  But I figure what the heck, maybe at least update/tweak/”complete” my profile some reasonable bit more.  And then?  And then maybe just friggin’ leave it – pretty much sit back and watch the mostly nothing that happens.  But hey, mostly nothing is a wee bit better than nothing.  And maybe too, chance to practice and exercise my writing and marketing skills a bit.  Okay, so my marketing skills pretty much suck, but … whatever.  Bit ‘o practice probably won’t kill me, anyway.

And so it goes.

Still need to find more effective ways to try.  This on-line dating stuff, at least for me, has mostly sucked quite highly – with negligible exception (far too much time/resource, far too little positive result).

It’s no secret that POF has turned into something that resembles a bar… only online.  A lot of girls are so desperate for dates that they are very quick to hook up with a guy and guys have discovered through their friends that going on POF is an easy way to get laid.  Now before anyone gets mad at me, not everyone on POF is like this.  If that is what someone is looking for, then to each their own.  All the power to you!  And there are still a lot of people looking for real relationships, myself included.

This post is more about how while I am looking for a relationship, all the guys looking for one night stands still target me because I really just don’t think they get it. Due to laziness I think. My POF profile is (from what people tell me) well written and I spent some time on it.  It’s on the longer side compared to a lot of profiles on there and due to the amount of times I have received dumbass messages saying “Hey baby” or “How’s it going?” with nothing else to encourage me to reply, I put a little disclaimer at the bottom of my profile.  It says that if someone plans to message me, please say something more than “hey” or “how’s it going?”.  Nothing fancy, just something about themselves in order to give me something to reply to.  I also mentioned that I am not looking for a one night stand.

Can you guess what happens?  I STILL get ongoing 1 or 2 word messages from many guys.  It’s ridiculous, but I know why.  POF has turned into such an online bar that guys don’t even bother reading your profile anymore.  They see you are online, look at your pictures and immediately send you a message…. Along with 10 other girls who are also online at that moment I can only imagine. I am not even going to get into how many guys send me a message one day, and then a couple weeks later have obviously forgotten they messaged me before so they send the EXACT SAME copied and pasted message to me a second time.

If there is anything to say about these guys, it’s that they make it very easy to weed out the morons and players.  Their profiles make it even easier.  A good chunk of them consist of “I don’t know what I am looking for, I am just on here because a friend told me it’s a good way to meet chicks.  Now the site won’t let me save my profile unless I write more. Hopefully this is enough.”

*Facepalm*

It is what it is.  I still think online dating can work.  I haven’t met the man of my dreams, but I have met a lot of nice, normal guys through POF… A lot of them who I still am friends with and talk to often. 

What have your online dating experiences been like?

There, but for the grace of God…

Internet Dating. It’s not what it sounds like, is it? You don’t go on virtual internet dates, never actually meeting the people, falling in actual love over the cyberwebs, unaware that the hot, sexy fifty six year old bald man you think you’re indulging in nightly mutual masturbation sessions with is actually a blonde fourteen year old sexpot with 30DD breasts and an arse like a shaved peach. No, that was the sort of thing which happened in 2002. To your dad. Internet Dating is REAL dating, but with people you happen to meet on the internet. Hence the clever name.

Where do you find them, though? There are so many choices. Some of them cost money. There’s match.com, which claims that 2% of people who were married in the United States last year, met on their website. Wow! That means 98% of them didn’t. So fuck those guys.

Then there’s Guardian Soulmates. This is a paysite, which is designed to get rid of that irritating phenomenon which occurs in real life dating, where you think you’ve fallen in love with someone, but it turns out their father used to work in a supermarket. That simply won’t do. No, GSM (as only me in the entire world calls it) filters out chavvy, working-class scum with a series of difficult questions on application- such as ‘what do you call that thing in the living room that more than one person can sit on?’ The choices being ‘Sofa, settee, or couch’. I put ‘Vanessa Feltz’, but they weren’t having none of that, gorblimey.

If you like fucking people, but you hate paying, there are some free sites to choose from too. Plenty of Fish is a terrible, terrible website. The profile feature requires you to put at least a few sentences in it; but for some reason, most people see this requirement as a slight on their very persons, and fill the sentence spaces up with lots of repeated asterisks, the word ‘blah’ written several times, or by copy and pasting the terms and conditions in there. God help the man who has to pick a wife from these stupid cunts. (In the interests of balance, all of the men on the site are also stupid cunts.) I have never seen a woman on POF who didn’t look like a whore and a slut, and this is doubly disgusting when you consider that none of them would agree to sleep with me.

Okcupid is sort of like Plenty of Fish, except it’s nothing like it. They ask you all sorts of clever questions, and build you a ‘Match Profile’ so that you can see which girls are most compatible with you in the areas of Dating, Ethics, Lifestyle, Religion, etc. Then you can just ignore all that shit, and send them a picture of your cock. Make sure to take the picture from the sort of angle which makes it look like you’ve got one of those ‘elephant foot’ umbrella stands nailed to your crotch. Women love imagining themselves being ripped apart at the womb-seams by a man on whose face they’ve never even laid eyes.

Now, those sites are just for normal people. If you’re heavy into kink, you can go on Fetlife. If you like men who are in the Services, the Police or drive big shiny red fire engine, there’s Uniform Dating. Hey, if you like the idea of rubbing your cock on a crippled girl’s knee stump, there’s even Amputee Dating. That one took off in a big way after the 7/7 bombings.

I found one today though which was even more kinky. It’s called ‘uk positive singles’ or something similar; I don’t write these things down. The (pretty cool and decent) idea behind it is that if you happen to be HIV positive, there’s an online community where you can meet like minded people, without fear of stigma or judgement, and maybe find some actual love. Which is very sweet. Well, I say ‘like minded’, but in fairness, they mightn’t be. They’re just sort of People Who Nearly Have AIDS, the same as you are. Otherwise, you might be a terrible match. She might be a good, caring, compassionate human being, and you might like going to see Lee Evans. Still though, beggars can’t be choosers, eh? You’ll definitely have a few things in common anyway. And think of the money you’ll save on rubbers.

The HIV Dating site is not just a HIV Dating site though. No, it’s for people living with herpes too, it turns out. Bad Herpes (HSV-2), Not So Bad herpes (HSV-1), and Well, That’s Not Herpes At All, Stop Being Such A Fucking American (Cold sores). Go further down the list and all your old friends are there. People ‘living with’ Syphilis and Genital Warts are invited to the party too. No longer will your syphilic knob walk the corridors of love alone, there is someone out there for you. And you too, old cauliflower-foreskin! Once again, you will feel the warm embrace of a woman’s slippery tuna walls.

But that’s not the end of the story. No, you can join HIV Dating if you basically have a dose of the clap. Gonorrhoea is totally on the list. Get in! And Chlamydia too. These are clearly conditions which can be cleared up by a quick visit to your GP, but the people over at Plenty of AIDS aren’t about to tell you that, and lose a potential customer. The more the merrier, is their motto. The last terrible condition on the list was ‘thrush’. People ‘living with’ thrush. This is a condition you can get from wearing tight jeans. Or from eating too much bread. Or from licking out a woman who has thrush. Regardless, it’s not life threatening. You don’t have to go get an AIDS Girlfriend just because you have an itchy ballsack. You could probably just slap a bit of yogurt on it, or pay £4.60 (I’D IMAGINE THAT’S HOW MUCH IT COSTS) for a tube of Canesten (I’D IMAGINE THAT’S WHAT IT’S CALLED) from the pharmacy. You don’t even need to go to the pharmacy. They sell it in the supermarket (OR SO I’VE HEARD. ON YAHOO ANSWERS. I WAS LOOKING FOR A FRIEND).

Oh, and if you were wondering if there’s a dating site for people with pubic lice, GO AND BUY THE SPECIAL SHAMPOO, YOU FILTHY CUNT. After that though, try Plenty of Fish.

Let’s call him Q.  Q messaged me a simple message saying he thought we had a lot in common. His profile was brief so I couldn’t really tell what we had in common, but he was cute and he drove a dodge truck (always a bonus!) so I messaged him back. Turns out we did have a lot in common.  After a night of talking about showing cattle and FFA, he asked me to text him the next morning.  Now usually giving my number out so quickly would freak me out, but I had a good feeling about this guy. So we’ve been texting. Not constantly since he works, but everyday since we exchanged numbers.  Over the weekend, he sent me a picture of him just out of the blue.  He asked me to send one as well.  Well, I’m not good at taking self pictures, so I don’t do it very often.  The best pic I had was from the previous summer, but I sent it anyway.  He also asked me to visit him over the weekend, but I wasn’t ready for that, so I gave him a rain check.  A few days later he sent another pic, and last night he told me he “needed” another pic.  I just said I would work on it.

I don’t know what to think.  I don’t understand why I need to send so many pics of myself to him.  It should be noted these are all clean pics.  His profile says he is “actively seeking a relationship.”  Could he be assuming we are “talking” rather than just talking.  Do I need to level with him, and let him know that I’m not looking for anything too serious at the moment.  I do like this guy.  He is the first guy that I have tried talking to, that can just talk. We don’t have to be asking fact finding questions to have a conversation. I like this quality a lot.  However, if you refer to my last post (http://ksbuckeye13.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/lessons-from-pocahontas/), I’m not ready to settle.  I’ve got some big dreams that I want to pursue. Yes, a guy is part of those dreams, but I don’t want that part to dictate my dreams.  I may be moving halfway across the country to follow my dreams, and that won’t be possible if I settle down with a guy first.

Let me know what you think! Should I worried about Q’s “need” for my pic?

Because I like humor and recognize the absurdity, discomfort & potential stress level of first approaches and first meetings, I don’t mind a slightly corny pick-up line. I would prefer someone engage in actual conversation, but goofy and creative approaches will often get a smile and my attention. (But then I’m a lot nicer in person than I am on this blog. )

So, in honor of April Fool’s Day and all the many fools out there, I am presenting some of the worst pick-up lines that I have received in the past months. Many of these are copied & pasted. No kidding!

• Hi, I’m a computer. Can I crash at your place?
• A great thing that happened to me today: I ran into you here.
• You must have lasers in your eyes because you’ve stunned me.
• I would really like to eat my cum out of your pussy.
• Do you want to see a good looking person? Then look in the mirror!
• I lost my number. Can I have yours?
• Wouldn’t you and I look cute together on top of a wedding cake?
• If I could change the alphabet I would put U and I together!
• I like you, and i want you. Now we can either do this the easy way, or the hard way. The choice is yours…. lol.
• What’s your story?
• Why is a good looking person like you still single?
• Why aren’t you in jail? It’s illegal to look that good.
• What’s one great book you’ve recently read?
• Great curves love a big butt and enormous boobs. Mmmmm…
• We have similiar interests that may make us matchable..Can I get a name?
• Do you have long toes?

Those are all 100% legitimate and received by me. I left out the worst ones – the guys that just send their phone number with the expectation that you’re going to jump right into the sexting and dick pics.

Speaking of dick pics – I had been messaging for a couple of weeks on POF with a guy who claimed to be “shy” and was looking for new friends in my area. His story was that he was moving to the Pacific Northwest from Southern California because his ex had moved his children up here. He will be moving in the next few months – wants to meet people, make friends, get to know the area. Okay, we had pleasant enough chats, agreed to meet for a drink when he gets to town, etc. Then one night, out of the blue, he messages me his number and asks “are you a good flirt?” Hmmm…I wasn’t quite sure what that meant – maybe code for dirty messaging, but we’d established some rapport, I was willing to see what he had in mind. After a busy weekend, I got a message from him saying “text me, brat!” Okay, kinda cute, right? I say I don’t want to start a text conversation at 1:15am that I am just heading to bed. He says it’s the perfect time for him but “ok, gn dollface.”

The next night, I sent him a text around 12:40 am and said “okay, how about starting a text exchange at 1am tonight?” No response. Eeep. Probably too late. But he texts me back at 6:20am and says “how about now?” He woke me up after 3 hours sleep and I was cranky! I said no, I was going to sleep longer & please don’t text before 9am or after 12am unless by mutual consent. He responded: “what are you? A gremlin?” I said “yes!” and explained that I had gone to bed late. He said “sorry I bothered you” so I wanted to make it clear that I wanted to talk to him, just not at 6am. I said “No, I’m sorry that I didn’t explain that boundary…another time!” He says “I don’t think so. Find someone else. Toodles.” Um, what? I pissed you off? This is someone who approached me and persisted in messaging me and who had been really personable. Okay, whatever. Oh well.

Last night, after Easter dinner with my ex and kids – while still with my ex at his house, I got a text from the “California Shy Guy.” Oh, wait – I and 11 others got a group MMS message from him. With a 10-second video of him stroking his meat. Not so shy, huh? But what is this? Group sext? Does he not realize that he just sent us all each others phone numbers and gave us the ability to reply all? Thankfully, nobody replied and the thread seems to have died but what the HECK? You present yourself as a shy guy who is moving in order to stand up for his kids and then…you message a dirty dozen your whack-a-mole video?

Weird, weird, weird. I’m sorry that I deleted so many of my “fools” and goofy messages. I’ll try to think of some others to share. Meanwhile, be careful – someone switched the salt & sugar!

Margo

Do you mind conversations about zombie ninja pirates?
How about debates about the newest things in science?
Do you like Monty Python? Are you musical at all?
Can you manage to be lewd without losing your class at all?

Because…
I’d like a boyfriend please!
I’d like a boyfriend please!
It’s mostly for great company and not those birds and bees,
So I’d like a boyfriend please!
(Y’know, if it’s not too much trouble)

Are you fussy about food?
Are you considerate or rude?
Do you like cats (no, not for dinner)?
Are you taller? Fatter? Thinner?

(Could you possibly put up with my ridiculous ideas?)

Do you think this drawing’s great?
What kinds of people do you hate?
Are you kind and are you stable?
Are your hands above the table?

Because…
I’d like a boyfriend please!
I’d like a boyfriend please!
I’m obviously too fussy, but I’d like one that’s a tease.
Yep, I’d like a boyfriend please!
(Or maybe I’m closing my mind too much)

I shouldn’t be so picky about gender.
But instincts have a stranglehold on me.
It shouldn’t be my fate, to pro-cre-ate;
There are already too many fish in the sea.

Anyway…
If we’re going to be so ridiculously politically correct about it…
Might as well include everybody…

I’d like a girlfriend please!
I’d like a girlfriend please!
And if you’re unsure, it doesn’t matter anymore.
Leave judgements and criticisms at the door.

You could be hetero- or homo-
It’s no problem; I’m no phobe- Oh.
I just have one more thing to say:

Though, theoretically, I’ve no preference,
Logic didn’t get the reference.

So… I’d still probably like a boyfriend please.
(Apply now with your CVs.)

———————————————————

I feel I should point out that I have a lovely boyfriend (and a ridiculous sense of humour), so please don’t take this seriously – it’s just a bit of fun! This is a poem/song I’d forgotten about and unearthed as I was trying to clear up the mess of files on my computer with names like “idea”, “another thing” and “messing about”.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this post anyway! Let me know what you think in the comments!

I hung up, in a rather good mood. “He sounded nice,” my mother called from inside the kitchen.

“He was the fucking internet service guy at Sky Broadband”, I said.

“Still- you were laughing away and now you have his number!” she chimed.

“It’s not HIS number- it’s the Sky helpline number”

“Still… he…”- I didn’t hear the rest of that sentence, because I had slammed the kitchen door in her face at this point.

So there you have it. I’m 23 and so chronically single that my mother is trying to set me up with the call centre guy. The guy who is paid to be nice to me, as a customer. So that was a low point. A really low point.

In retaliation to this, I decided to join not one but TWO dating websites. Yes, doubling my chance of failure. I paid an upfront fee for a month on Match.com, reasoning that people who pay for love must be desperately desperate, and not just looking for sex (otherwise they’d have spent that money on a prostitute rather than the admin fee).

So I set up my profile with a witty, yet charming introduction to myself and photos of varying ‘attractiveness’. I don’t want to give them any false hope- so the pictures of me in my false eyelashes are kept to a minimum. There’s even one of me in just my basic foundation, just to make sure they won’t be surprised/terrified/sad upon meeting me. But lo, Match.com wasn’t hooking these bastards in as fast as I was hoping. They were either in their forties plus beard or in their 20′s, sans beard but… weird.  Hardly anyone was viewing my profile, so where it said ‘Smoking- no way’, I changed it to ‘Cigars’. Still no takers. I tried to dazzle them with my amazing music taste and worldly film knowledge. Nothing doing. I am toying with the idea of stating ‘porn, sex, sexy porn and being easy’ under ‘General Interests’. Because all of that is true- I’m just not sure if it will attract my Mr Right. That said, most of the guys on both sites state they have travelled most of the world, are extremely active and go to the gym over 4 times a week, are ‘honest and trustworthy’, don’t drink much and are either engineers, or work in ICT. Why are these amazing men still single? It would almost seem that women don’t want extremely successful, adventurous, active men…..

Unless of course they’re all on a dating website for a reason….

I’m not saying I’m on dating sites just because I’m choosy. There is probably something fundamentally wrong with me, to make men go ‘ARRAAAGRRRGGGH’ when they meet me and run for the hills (and once they reach the hills- just keep on running). I can’t tell whether it’s my looks, personality or both- but there is something that just doesn’t attract regular members of the public to me. Nor online men if my previous  Match.com and my POF date was anything to go by. This time though, I’m hopeful. I’ve got a new fringe and I go to the gym (sometimes).

The lack of interest this time around made me think it was my photos putting these people off. Basically- my face? I wasn’t sure. So, in order to make myself feel better for just forking out £30 to speak to a few weirdos, I joined POF (AGAIN). Within seconds I’d had over 100 views about twenty messages. I had a look at the princely types who would surely be viewing me. Turns out- not so princely.

“Hey bbz u isa butiful, how bout it?”

“Hey get your coat on, your dream man is about to pick you up”

“I’m a normal guy just looking for a chat”

Most of these guys looked terrifying. Just hair gel and collars, in pinstriped shirts. Out of the mess, I started speaking to JayKay- a really cute gardener. Oh how we laughed. And then suddenly, he stopped replying. I uploaded more pictures to lure him back. I didn’t hear another peep from him. Nada. I started talking to Sugarme123. He seemed nice enough. After exchanging a few messages over a day or two, he invited me to his house. I looked back over his messages and read the phrase “I’m an honest, trustworthy guy”, over 7 times. Now, my usual thought is that most people are honest and trusthworthy as default. The fact this guy seemed intent on letting me know he’s a normal human being made think

‘ his house + honest and trusthworthy = date rape after olives’. I stopped messaging him back.

I’m currently chatting to a Kaia4000, a chap in his thirties who is an adventuring engineer. He’s the only one left I feel safe replying to out of the recent messages. This, is my 30 days of desperation. I plan to write about who I meet and the dates I go on, if any. This will most likely be one of the most depressing months of my life- in which I will leave the sites having met no one, and done nothing. But hey, I’m sure true love is out there, somewhere.

The woman I work with met a guy on Match.com. She broke her leg and went so crazy she joined a dating site to have people to talk to. And hey, she met someone! And they’re still together! She also joined about six different online bingo sites, but who am I to judge.

1. They have issues that are self-inflicted.
2. They stubbornly remain in denial of these issues.

In that last thread, where a particular princess attempted to defend “royal” behaviour on Plenty-of-Fish, her last post (found here) in true condescending fashion, she points her opposition to some “very wise words”:

You should check out this link….. Very wise words to listen to and take into consideration…

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200752486271411&set=vb.1139957088&type=2&theater

Yet there is a  problem with thinking that these are words that should be taken in consideration without context.

>>>It’s not me, it’s you (or is that always true?)

That’s right.  Just because some guy is preaching this “all your faults will be assets in the eyes of someone”, doesn’t address several key factors.  These include:

1. There is a huge difference between prejudice based on, say, xenophobia versus generally repugnant behaviour.
2. The relative ratio of those that will find these “flaws” attractive (let alone, exquisitely attractive).
3. Involuntary, immutable and innocuous trait values should NOT be confused with those that are a direct reflection or an indirect consequence of one’s own volition.

Let’s look at these in detail:

>>>1. Pride and Prejudice

The guy mentions “too black, too white, too brown” as a way of introducing the notion of ethnic intolerance and how it is not your fault and not your cross to bear.   Although the cross can be placed upon the victim of racism, he is correct in saying that it doesn’t belong there.

However, princesses like to interpret this to mean that ANY prejudice based on an equally visible trait is equally neither “your fault” nor something than you should take any ownership of.  This is not true.  Let’s be excruciatingly honest here, if people carry preconceptions of one’s character based on say, body fat ratio, it isn’t always unfounded.  Furthermore it isn’t something that 99.9% of those so afflicted cannot change.  You may feel that there will be someone out there that will appreciate it (and this is true, but consider the relative frequency let alone if it will be someone you would want too.)

If it’s something that you know is holding you off from a lot more opportunity (even if you don’t want to admit it) then it’s your OWN fault when you don’t do something about it.  Stop relying on “there’s someone for everyone” and fix the flaws you can fix.  If you don’t believe it is a flaw, that just arrogance and denial.  Why?  Because it’s not what YOU believe is flawed, it’s what other reasonable and reasonably sentient people see to be a flaw.

By now, even princesses should be able to see that the attitude of “it’s all about me” essentially has no consideration for how others feel, and is about as attractive as the proverbial wet blanket.

>>>2. A Streetcar for every Desire

Consider less-than-admirable behavioural traits (like stubbornness, contempt, inconsideration).  While one could academically argue that there are individuals that actually seek out these values in a partner, aside from those needing serious psychiatric therapy for self-abuse, these individuals are virtually non-existent.

Yet, princesses who believe “there’s someone for everyone, so stay the way you are” believe this.

Princesses: Just because some guy says to not internalize the fickleness of others, that DOESN’T translate to “I will maintain whatever trait I have control of since I should NEVER change my behaviour for the sake of others (even if such change can make me a better person)”.

If one cannot see just how self-absorbed that statement is, then one is truly in a state of denial.  If you have traits that are generally undesirable to others, and if those traits are NOT something you are born with, or not something that that cannot be changed, it’s just your own combination of stubbornness and laziness that prevents you from changing them.

By interpreting the words in that link as “very wise words” to live by in regards to ALL attributes (include the ones you adopt and create through action or inaction) you are purposely NOT taking responsibility for your own life.  That is why princesses are stuck on sites like Plenty-of-Delusion instead of spending more time being part of the fantastic milieu of life outside in the real world.

Who you are is your own making.  Get over yourselves.

>>>3. Dynamic Duality

One thing that Plenty-of-Phonies Princesses often do is to equate their own self-created issues with involuntary ones and by that, feel they are one and the same.  The most common display of this is when they think that women carrying excessive body fat is the same as men being of shorter than average height.  Some of the biggest “heightists” found on trash sites like Plenty-of-Waste are women who are, shall we say, have “excessive calorie reserves.”

Go to any forum where height bigotry is brought up.  You will soon see droves of “BBW”s attempting to hijack the conversation with how they are so hard done by based on “superficial” traits and how short men should just “take it” like they have had to.

The truth is that body fat is nearly always self-inflicted, and, in the rare cases where it is not, it can be controlled by modern science.  It is also a generally a reflection of one’s inability in self-restraint.  In stark contrast, a man’s adult height is involuntary,  not something that can realistically be changed, and does not really affect his ability to be a man.

There are other traits that they like to think are innate and therefore not alterable.   Be it a character flaw, a penchant for bad body-art or a general lack of amicability, they think it’s all “just the way some unassailable deity made them”.  So, princesses need to believe that they CAN’T change who they are.  They blame fate and therefore free themselves from any responsibility.

Sorry, your highness’s, it is COMPLETELY your own doing.  Misinterpreting the “wise words” of someone who is advocating the rejection of being responsible for truly unfounded prejudice and the general maintenance of a healthy dose of self-respect does not change that.  Be a better person.  Not because it makes you more attractive, but because it is it’s own reward.  Being stubborn and staying “who you are” because you cannot accept the responsibility to fix what you can is just arrogance.

Yes.  Again.  Get over yourselves.

Your Evolved Fish,

Mr. Left

Amen.

I had successfully avoided Plenty of Fish for about three weeks after trading a few long messages with Catholic Engineer (over the course of a couple of weeks), before realizing that I just couldn’t even fit responses into my schedule, let alone an actual date. After agreeing to the vague “I’d like to meet”, I proved my dick was biggest, like the jackass I am, by ceasing to sign in altogether without a word or explanation. I’m really bad at this. So, the other night, I expected to log in to see one or two messages, maybe a hurt “If you weren’t into it, you could have just said so” that would have made me feel even more guilty. Seriously. I am terrible at this. I should’ve remembered, though; this is the Internet and while, quite often, totally normal people sign up for online dating, it is still the place where crazy people go to hide.

I suppose this profile picture should’ve been a tipoff.

Originally, I let out a sigh of relief. I had not, in fact, received any angry or hurt messages. Then… I let out a shudder. I had received no less than five messages in three weeks, each relatively lengthy.

- The first message was in response to my lack of response, explaining that he’d put the pieces together and realized I must be working the book sale for my library system, as I’d mentioned. He was excited by the prospect of coming by to see me.
(!!!!!!)

- The second message told me that he was sorry he hadn’t made it by, his nerves got the best of him, but he couldn’t wait to meet me. He assured me he knew I was worth it.
(I debated whether this was an “aww” moment or a “get out of my tree and wipe the semen of my window” moment before. It is officially the latter.)

- The third message told me how he’d been thinking of me and hoped I was well. Gee, I must be really busy, but he knew that the best things in life are worth waiting for.
(Dude, if you weren’t so fucking crazy, you’d lose major points for ending that sentence in a preposition.)

- The fourth message told me how lonely he was and how much he missed talking with me and that each night he hoped to sign in and get a pleasant surprise in the form of a response. He was looking forward to meeting me and knew I was worth the wait.
(At least he’s not redundant.)

- The fifth apologized for sending me so many messages and assured me he was just lonely, but he knew I must be busy.

After reading through Catholic Engineer’s epic memoire, I immediately texted Gail to tell her that he was, apparently, super crazy. She told me to block him right away. I wasn’t completely sure if she was serious or not, since we were texting this conversation, so I didn’t. I am so going to end up in Tupperware one day.

That’s big enough for a human head, right?

The next day, I signed in again, also while procrastinating studying. I had a few messages from underwhelming, occasionally entertaining individuals, but nothing out of the ordinary. I realized that my profile was showing up at the top of several lists, because I was signing in again. I decided to make it clear that I wasn’t looking for much and added a short notation to the top of my “About Me” section, explaining that I was off dating, as I didn’t really have the time until graduation. I clarified that I just enjoyed logging in when I was procrastinating.

The next day, working dilligently on my homework again, I signed in for a quick browse and was greeted with message six from Catholic Engineer. He wanted to take the opportunity to thank me for my update and assure me that he understood my absence. He knew I would be worth the wait and couldn’t wait to hear from me in May. May’s just around the corner, after all! He wished me good luck and hoped I might feel like procrastinating soon.

It is in here, that he will store my labia.

This guy had to be checking my profile daily to have read the update I left “him.” For reasons only partly related to this, my Plenty of Fish account has since been deleted.

I’ll give OKCupid a try.

I have got to stop reading romance novels, because they are the catalyst to the above stupid idea. I’m not afraid of dying alone, because I’ll never meet anyone, until I couple one too many romantic suspense titles with all of those Red Pill blogs telling me that without marriage, I’ll cry about cancer to no one. I don’t want to cry alone about cancer!!!! Sooooo… I signed up for OKCupid.

My creepy messages on this first day have been pretty standard, which is still pretty amusing. To quote a few:

You write well. I am a journalist. I was raised Catholic, but I left it behind. I might go back. I pray often about it. I have baggage, but I carry it well. Pun intended.

Now, a compliment to my writing is quite possibly the key to thawing my frozen heart, but I wrote a friggin’ profile, not the Great American Novel or even a kickass blog entry. That’s just a weird thing to say. Following it up by outlining his issues with God and a religion I’ve stated is important to me? Well, it’s not near as panties-dampening as telling me he has a shit ton of baggage. This was his opener!!!!!

Hence, I would be very pleased if I get the chance to have conversation with you sometime, that allows me to know more about you, and see what happens in therms of a physical or spiritual connexion between you and I, you know as the song says “let our hearts discover”

Okay… let’s just get one thing straight. You wait until the person has actually responded to you to mention any kind of “physical connection”. Also, is he trying to sound intelligent or is his grasp of the English language tenuous? I genuinely cannot tell.

In just the last few minutes I got a message from the blank profile, KeepItOnTheDL17. “What’s your e-mail and I’ll send you a pic?” Ummm… no. That’s up there with “What’s your address and I’ll send you a package?”

“What’s in the box?!?!?!”

My absolute favorite, however, has to be the guy who I’ve previously seen on Plenty of Fish with a four or five page profile talking about how awesome he is and actually using the words “if you’re lucky enough to win my friendship”. He used to have a “no fat chicks” paragraph as well, though he seems to have gotten wise about that one. I remember, because Gail and I giggled maniacly over it. Even now his profile includes:

I’m very picky and have high expectations when it comes to women.

I’m really good at pretty much anything I try.

Also, If you’re too busy to date, why are you on a dating site?

They aren’t too busy to date. They’re too busy to date you. Confidence is attractive and I have a higher tolerance for it than most, but wow. What is the purpose of tainting this excellent solo with the presence of another person? But, but… that’s still not the best part. The best is this little gem:

I don’t believe in divorce and only plan on getting married once. I want to make sure she is my best friend and my soul mate.

You don’t believe in it? It’s not a fucking one-armed fairy, you jackass. I assure you, it’s real. Furthermore, a good 70% of those people who are divorced likely said the exact same thing. They sure as shit didn’t walk down the aisle to Eminem’s I Love the Way You Lie. Way to judge 60% of the population of this state you bag of dicks. Also, at age 30, in the Midwest, a lot of your prospects are going to be divorced. Prick.

Pictured: Divorce

All that having been said, I’ll leave y’all to judge for yourselves whether I’m a glutton for punishment or just really dedicated to seeking out good material for this blog, because I gave another guy my phone number. I’m determined not to initiate, since I don’t particularly care about the results and I don’t have a penis. The boy does that.

Gail: “Just for my amusement, what does the girl do in return?”
Me: “Wears pink.”

He contacted me though, and we’ve been texting. I imagine it’s only a matter of time before I write about him asking me to lick his peg leg.

Sigh… I always wanted to be cremated anyway.

I get there early and sit in a booth, so that I could start some coffee I was drinking my coffee and this really large woman comes in, she heads straight for me. I look at her and realize it’s the woman I have been talking to. But, she won’t fit into the booth I’m sitting in. We have to move to a table.

She looks nothing like her pictures and is about 300+ pounds. Looking back at her pictures, I realize that the pictures were really old ones. I would have realized by the 80s hair and clothes, that the pictures are old.

I save my disappointment and mask my face as to not give away my feelings. No use in being mean. So we start talking. She tells me that she has like seven kids. I am shocked again. She tells me she has been married three times. Shocked again. She tells me that she lives with her mom. Shocked!

After my second pot of coffee I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. When I come back she is shocked that I returned. She said most guys go out the back door and ditch her. That makes me feel bad. I ask her if she wants the truth as to why these guys do that. She says yes. So I tell her that her pictures are of a much younger lighter person. It’s misleading. I told her that there are websites and guys out there that like bigger women. Why mislead people if there are guys who really like bigger women. She seemed to take that well and I tell her thank you and that I wish her luck.

I now have a rule. If you can’t fit in a booth at IHOP for coffee, you maybe too large for me.

Ultimately, I needed to be comfortable by myself.  So, that is my motivation these days.  I have some experiences to share of my dating experiences with the website plenty of fish.

This website was suggested to me by a girl I used to work with.  She was one of those women that I ‘dated’ in my first few months of separation and was eventually treated badly and now is not really my friend anymore.  I am actually sad about this because she was very sweet and has the experience of being treated badly by a lot of guys.  She introduced me to one of her friends after a they had a night out and I filled a service for her friend.  I thought it would be a regular thing for her friend, but it was something she regretted and it turned weird for the both of them.

Okay, have to get to work.  more later…..

>>>If I say it is, it MUST be true.

I love the illusion that women get 50+ messages a day. And news flash…. Guys ignore just as much and are just as flaky.

Considering how consistently the same results occur when people have posted a female ad (of a reasonably attractive specimen), it is facetious to claim that women do NOT get this amount of response online.  The fact is that they do.

As for “guys ignoring just as much” or being “just as flaky”, this is the usual attempt at “you do it too, so it’s OK”.  Even if this were so (and in reality guys do it far less frequently if at all), it is not justification for the disrespectful behaviour of online princesses.

Although some small segment of men may be as arrogant, the larger share of men online are far more responsive than the typical online princess we have all had the displeasure of coming across. You will see that this poster will attempt to use this deflective “you do it too, and as often” rationalization in order to justify her attitude.

>>>Deflector Sheilds UP!

lol, Ummmm I am afraid the real question is now… WHY DID YOU HAVE A FAKE FEMALE PROFILE?? lmao!! Did you respond to those messages?? I know, I know…. Maybe all females on there are really just men pretending to be females to try and prove their point! HAHAHAHAHA!! Ok, guys. Problem solved….

This little bit of junk reasoning was in the response to a poster explaining that he had purposely posted a fake female ad and got 48 responses within the first day (basically exposing her lie). Yes.  What does princess do when she is shown to be deluded?  Attempt to deflect the discussion. OK princess, why did he have a fake female profile?  Well, to prove the point that females get plenty of solicitations.  It seems to work pretty well in advance of your attempts to pretend that they don’t too.  LMAO!

>>>“Site” Unseen

I meet guys all the time for tea or a hot chocolate(I don’t drink coffee). I would actually prefer to get the initial meet out of the way. Cause I don’t want to play the game of is there gonna be chemistry and when you find out you can’t stand each other in person you have wasted both your times.

Most men on the site would prefer to have that initial meeting too.  That is all they ask for, but are summarily ignored on most occasions.  Yes, the ubiquitous vague term of  ”chemistry”.  POF Princesses decide there is no chemistry based on nothing more than the usual:

• Not 6 ft or more… yep, No Chemistry
• Not Magazine Model face… uh, No Chemistry
• No 6 pack abs… let’s see, that would be… No Chemistry

Never mind that the guy was soliciting within his “attraction” range.  Princesses feel they are only available for 10′s.  This is a critical different so it will be repeated: The guy was soliciting within his “attraction” range.  Princesses feel they are only available for 10′s.   Spending time researching and writing a good introduction is the guy’s waste-of-time, not hers.  So, it’s not about wasting BOTH your time, it’s only about wasting HERS.

>>>Go Fake Yourself

Or YES, God forbid, guys also post fake pics…. yup, it happens. But I do know if I am NOT attracted to someone. I also take all things into account. I look at pics and read ENTIRE profiles before I make a decision. I’ve made lots of friends off of there. And also dated guys I wouldn’t normally if you were to go off looks alone. Cause their profile was awesome. Actually the guy I am talking to now, that is more than likely gonna get me off that site, is completely polar opposite of me in appearance but our personalities click amazingly…

Some guys may post fake pictures, but the point is really, “how many do this in comparison to women?”  This is the usual deflection and employment of it shows that princesses are fully aware that women are far more the perpetrators of deceit than men are on Plenty-of-Lies (and that includes taking the ratio of men-to-women on the site into consideration.) While we are on that notion of misrepresentation, consider what has been noted in an earlier post about photos from women on POF.  Here’s a summary…

What do we often see from women on POF and other dating sites?  We see photos that are years out-of-date.  Photos that are barely in focus.  Photos that show part of face or a face half in shadow.  Long distance shots.  No photos of that seriously out-of-shape body.  Sunglasses.  Sunglasses.  Sunglasses.

Most guys have a plain old photo that shows them as they are.

That’s not all either.  The cultural influence is such that women feel entitled to embellish their appearance while fooling themselves that they are being “honest”.  Ask yourself, “what is make-up?”  Is it not literally making something up (as in a false appearance?)  In general (and in entirety for POF princesses), women feel there is nothing “fake” about foundation, eye-shadow, highlights, push-up bras, padding, etc.  Yet, in stark contrast, a man who quotes 5 foot 11 instead of 5 foot 10.5 is a consummate Shylock and never to be trusted.

Sorry, Princess.  The facts are that POF is full of deceitful childish women.  No amount of suggestion that “men do it too” can equate the frequency at which delusional drama queens are encountered on Plenty-of-Princesses.

>>>Miss Representation

Just like with guys on there…. Just because I have dealt with some total disrespectful douchebags on there doesn’t mean I am gonna hold that against the next guy. So just because you have had some girls ignore you or shoot you down doesn’t mean you should lump all girls in that same category….

This is the typical straw-man argument expected of princesses that attempt to defend their arrogant behaviour. She begins this bit of literal trash by implying that her critic predetermines behaviour of  ”next” woman and treats her accordingly.  This is absolutely unfounded.

The men who are noting the disrespectful behaviour of POF princesses do not hold it against the next hereto unsolicited woman.  They level the deserved disrespect towards the princess.

Unless, of course, she is suggesting that men begin their next introductory message with something like, “Hey disrespectful princess, please ignore this introduction…” LOL.  She then suggests that her critic has “lumped all girls in that same category”.  This too is purposeful misrepresentation.  He hasn’t.

In fact, like all critics of lousy online dating sites like POF, he points out the alarming number of entitled, deluded and arrogant princesses that feel nothing shy of a 10 will be acknowledged.  There has been NO SUGGESTION that ALL WOMEN are like this.

She then tries to downplay the percentage at which men have encountered online dating site princesses as “some women”.  Let’s remember that practically all plaintiffs have noted that the ratio of non-response to response is somewhere in the 97-3 range (or worse).  That is hardly “some”.

However, her response is important. It is important because it shows how princesses have to lie to themselves that it isn’t their deluded view of themselves, but the behaviour of men that is the problem.  It is important to see how mired in the lie that they cannot see it’s false foundation and clear absurdity.

>>>Hyper-Critical

Hahahahahaha can we say HYPOCRITICAL Andy?? You write….. And I quote “You can improve your profile but you can’t use pof for what it was made for unless you plan on dropping your standards and just dating whoever will reply.” Isn’t that EXACTLY what you are complaining the women are doing. So women should answer every email regardless of their preference and it isn’t dropping their standards…? But it’s ok for you to do that??

First off:  Good show Andy!  This princess needed someone to stand up to her.  Thanks for being there.

Notice that princess is trying to deflect from the main point.  The critical issue is that while men in general have a good grasp of their relative attractiveness (and subsequently solicit those who are in their “range”) POF princesses have a seriously inflated view of themselves and feel that they are of “royal” lineage and should only be contacted by other elite.

So the issue isn’t that of a expecting others to drop standards while one does not.  Rather it is about reasonable standards (that are consistent with what one is representing as well as what one is requesting) from men versus delusional ones held by the typical Plenty-of-Full-of-themselves Princess.  

Don’t we all love the exaggeration that “women should answer every email regardless of their preference”?  It’s just another way of sidestepping the issue of having delusional “standards”. Have a look for yourselves.  Most princesses are barely 5′s, but all demand nothing shy of 10′s.  Those that are 9 or 10 are probably fakes or so damaged in unseen factors that they are the proverbial serial dater (Why else would they even have to have an ad online since they should have to walk 20 feet without being hit on).

So, it isn’t a matter of anyone dropping standards, but rather a matter of people (as in the typical deluded POF princess) having demands far higher than what they have to offer in return.  This is what this particular princess is attempting to deflect from.  Nice try, but princess isn’t fooling anyone.

>>>The Way We Were Not

And maybe she has come back just the same as you have… I know I have been on and off of there plenty. Meet someone, think it’s gonna go somewhere and then get strung along and then hey… just kidding, I still want to be your friend but I’m not as ready for this as I thought. So you jump back on the horse and try again.

Between the lines here we see how people cannot see things as they really are (or are unwilling to admit to it.)  Princess, the guy wasn’t “stringing you along”.  Rather, he gave the relationship a chance (which is far more consideration than what POF princesses afford men who are not 10′s).  Since he pulled the plug, he deemed the outcome as a failure.

This is what you can’t admit to yourself:  You were given a FAIR chance and you did not make the grade.

In contrast, princesses rarely give men below a 10 a chance at all.  Not only that, these men are considered a failure to make the grade based on the usual non-self-realized traits like height and ethnicity.  Admit it.  Princesses like you are using online sites to “trophy-hunt”.  Since POF does nothing to reduce this type of abuse, it is as complicit to this dysfunction as you are.

Then why do you want to go out with someone that looks at you as an option versus a priority?? I just wish that people would realize that guys play the same games that women get the bad rep for.

LOL.  Here we go with the old loaded-question trick again.

If someone is willing to meet with you to explore the possibility of a more intimate relationship, how is that ever merely an “option” to that person.  It is as much a priority as both of you wish to make it.  The interplay between parties will determine if further exploration is merited.  If you are trying to suggest that guys would explore these “options” with someone who is initially reluctant, then that is still wholly dependent on how worthy one sees the potential gain is.

Then again, thinking that a potential mate has to be head-over-heels on first sight is indicative of a romanticized (and essentially naive) view of how humans meet, get interested and form lasting relationships.  This is proof again of how POF princesses are immature.

Guys play the same games? Again, it’s the frequently and magnitude of these games that are the real measures.  Guys DO NOT exhibit anywhere the level of coyness, disrespect, delusion and immaturity that women do on POF.  That will not change no matter how many times princesses pretend that guys are the “same”.

And the women that are gonna make those judgements are gonnna make them regardless of whether it is online or in person.

Here in lies the problem that princesses create in the online world.

Because of the power given to the user in the internet process, we give child-like individuals the power to make decisions they wouldn’t be so independently capable of in the real world. The proof that princesses are largely incapable of sentient decision-making is shown in their illogical reasoning (well exhibited in the comments from this particular princess).  It is also shown that princesses often choose the “wrong” men (and endlessly lament about how much of a loser their ex-boyfriends were) when left to their own cognition (or lack there of).

Princess might even make those poor judgments in the real world.  However, since these types of behaviours are rooted in low self-esteem, it’s far easier to persuade them into getting over themselves when they aren’t hiding behind a POF profile.

There are plenty of attractive women who are both mature and have a realistic view of who they are and what they have to offer in a relationship.  They are just unlikely to be found on the web pages of Plenty-of-Princesses.  By trying to defend the princesses that infest that sad-excuse of a dating site, you only prove the point that it’s just a haven of delusional left-overs.

>>>The Love of Looks

Ummmmm when was the last time you were female?? Regardless of gender looks have a huge role in attraction. If you saw a very (in your opinion) ugly female would you feel a desire to get to know her or even acknowledge her? Same goes for us. Everybody has different opinions on what is attractive. That’s why it all works out. I don’t know how to upload a pic. I just sign on with my facebook account

This retreat to the usual condescending bit of “looks matter to both genders” was predictable.  Equally so is the need to exaggerate the lack of “looks” in a rejected solicitor in order to impress the point… and there-in lays the problem with this excuse.

What’s the problem?

The problem is that this excuse purposes ignores the situation that most complaints are when men are soliciting women that are around the same attraction level.  Few, if any, are consistently asking for 10′s when they are 5′s.

Using the exaggeration of a “very ugly” suitor is just hyperbole (you’ll see princesses defending their behaviour a lot with this poor defense).  Practically every guy that is complaining clearly points out that they are realistically approaching women of similar attractive traits.  Everybody has different tastes?  Sure, but what most people see as a 10 will be seen near that for everybody else.  It’s not as random a mix of ideals that this little princess tries to excuse it as.  Look at how all of them want the “triple six” (six foot, six pack, six figures).  There’s actually more consistency in what people find attractive than she pretends there isn’t.

If anything, this “randomness” is a way to remain in denial that they themselves have attribute values (usually self-inflicted too) that are not attractive in anybody’s view.

>>>Flaming Fame

Seriously? You are gonna base your knowledge off of famous people?? As someone stated earlier…. MONEY.

So, her opposition uses Heidi Klum and Seal as an example and as expected, princess has the typically poor rebuttal.

What pair of people would you expect someone to point you to?  Joe Jones and Kristine Smith?  Bill McKay and Jane Jackson?  Of course it has to be a pair that you have likely heard of.

Is it for money?  No.  That’s nonsense.  Heidi Klum as enough fame and fortune on her own and wouldn’t have needed to augment it with being seen with another celebrity.  You can fool yourself, but most can understand that Andy supported his point well with this example.

Do you come across as whiny and negative on your POF profile as you do on here?? I don’t care how hot the guy is, if that is how he comes across poorly I don’t respond or try and talk to him. And if you have all these hot young things hitting on you in real life why do you even need a dating site?? And still you are not getting the point….. BOTH GENDERS ARE JUST AS GUILTY IN THIS. Do you ever hit up unattractive girls? Do you respond to them? Do you say hey let’s go get a drink? Do you think those girls get 50+ messages a day and not respond?

The quick retreat to a personal attack was pretty much expected since princess cannot defend her weak position.

This “you are whining” accusation is a common tactic that attempts to shame people into not discussing a topic.  The fact is that this “princess syndrome” is happening a lot on sites like Plenty-of-Princesses and people are calling it out.  There’s no rule to say that men can’t try out the online dating method just because they are already successful in the real world.  It’s advertised as equally (if not more) efficient.  However, it soon proves to be the poor experience that it is…  so people complain.  They also see that the experience (of encountering a high percentage of delusional women) is shared among many users.  How difficult is that for princesses to understand?

Do men “hit up” unattractive girls?  That’s just ignoring the clearly stated case that most men “hit up” what they see as equally attractive (as in what they would “hit up” in the real world).  Furthermore, while most (if not all) traits that men are actually looking for are self-realized (good physical shape, good mental health, good character, etc…), princesses measure men by immutable or extremely difficult-to-achieve ones (ethnicity, height, high income).

Both Genders are not EQUALLY as guilty.  It’s NOWHERE even near parity.  It is by far the female gender that behaves with extreme delusion and childishness in the online dating world.

>>>You’ve got NOTHING.

Lol…. That’s all I got…. On my profile I even have it specifically saying. Just favorite me if you’re interested and to shy to say hello, and if the attraction is mutual I will say hello.

You say you won’t date unattractive females, well maybe you aren’t attractive to the ones you are trying to get. I don’t know what to tell you. What’s your user name?

The female bashing is just getting old… Which I am sure goes the same for males

In most if not all cases, men are not 5′s going after 10′s.  It’s princesses that usually do that.  To think men “do it too” is just the usual projection that people in denial tend to do.

ROFL.  No the only thing getting old is how this particular princess attempts to hide behind ALL females.

Really.  No man complaining about the delusional women on Plenty-of-Phonies is bashing “women”.  No.  They are critical of the princesses that ruin the experience on the site.  That is not all women.  This “rally behind me” type of war cry (as in “all women, we are being bashed, gather the troops!”) is reminiscent of how zealots behave (“it’s an attack on all of us!  It’s us against them!”)  No.  It’s a well supported critique on those that deserve the admonishment, and, not a bashing of all women.

>>> Re-Trick or Retreat 

You guys are sooooo stuck in this mind frame that is all the women’s fault that it is like talking to a wall. So I give up trying to help you guys understand how things are coming from this side of things. No gender is more at fault than the other. You will always have your dumbasses that ruin it for everyone else. I could go on for DAYS about the nut jobs and guys that have ignored me, but really what would be the point of it? I know I am not everyone’s cup of tea, and I don’t worry about those guys. I will just keep my fingers crossed till I meet the guy that I am crazy about and is crazy about me. And until then I will continue to live my life and be happy about what I have going on with it. Good luck! I’m out…..

No.  The only “wall” you are encountering is the one you, the princess, has put up to remain in the denial that it is your delusional attitude that creates the poor experience that Plenty-of-Fish quickly became.  That they only want to boost female subscription and do not care how these females behave is why they remain among the worst of lot.

The results are literally the same for more guys who have had the displeasure of using Plenty-of-Freaks (typically, 3 responses in about 100 solicitations)… and you claim that it is people being “stuck in a mind frame”?  The fact that you repeatedly try to lay equal blame on the men as is on the delusional women in spite of anecdotal evidence from numerous sources to the contrary is the “stuck mindset” seen here.

You can fool yourself that you are capitulating because of the stubbornness of your adversaries, but that is clearly in denial of your inability to defend your indefensible position.  If Plenty-of-Poop princess came back down to reality, the online dating world would get a whole lot better.  Judging from how in denial this princess has been, that is an unlikely scenario.

My friends, go outside and find real women.  They don’t hold their noses up nearly as high.

Your Evolved Fish,

Mr. Left

P.S.

I’m saving the best for last.  This princess posted a link with “advice” for her opposition.  In the next post, I will cover off in detail how this advice is merely a bit of misinterpreted guidance and is really nothing more than a condescending dismissal.  I will also explains how princesses require this type of vicarious affirmation in order to remain in denial.