On fridays I will post an example of some habit people on these sites do that really get on my nerves. Starting with this:

Title:

Why are you eating my face?!?

Open Question

Show me another »

Why are you eating my face?!?

This sections really slow so I thought I’d liven it up a little x]

 

SO the real Q is…what did you immediately think when you read the title? I’m curious

Amaira <3

• 39 minutes ago
• – 4 days left to answer.

Answer Question

In case that little gem of a title didn’t give it away, this is clearly going to be a review of the new Twilight film, New Moon.

Perhaps before we delve into the nitty gritty, however, I feel I owe to clarify one thing. I have read the books. And I enjoyed them.

Don’t get me wrong, I know full well that Stephanie Meyers teen/vamp/romance is in no way shape or form the pinnacle of modern literature, but amongst the poor literary techniques lies a compelling premise, and it is this that kept me reading, and it was this that my left me thinking, that maybe, just maybe, the film series could hold my interest as much, if not more than the books.

And so late last year I trundled along to an early screening of Twilight, my hopes high that Catherine Hardwicke could make this series something worth remembering.

Unfortunately my hopes were shattered, dashed on the craggy rocks of atrocious scripting, filming, lighting and of course the horrid directing.

And so it was with this memory that I promised my patient girlfriend I would attend the newest edition to the film saga, New Moon.

Now lets be honest here, we have all heard the reviews, and expected something better than Twilight, but still nothing great.

And to be frank, that’s what I got.

There were no flashes of cinematic brilliance here, nor spectacular direction. Just a flawed, but watch-able film.

The film looked slick, the effects good (though should we expect anything less these days), the characters still distant, but good looking enough for most of us to let this slide.

The actors weren’t atrocious, with Kristen Stewart actually filling out the role of the stubborn and naive Bella quite well. Robert Pattinson was at his brooding best, filling his little screen time with some intense staring. Oh and somebody should check on Taylor Lautner, I think the kid might be allergic to cotton. Possibly just clothing in general.

Therein ends my praise, however, with little else of substance to be found in the film. The beginning and end of the film felt like they were tacked onto either end purely for continuities sake. The middle, which mainly displayed K-Stews ability to look depressed, seemed like it dragged on for hours (oh wait, it actually did).

I could ramble on for hours about what this film could have done better, but when it’s all said and done, this is really one of those films that people will watch regardless of others opinions. If you aren’t already one of the converted, don’t expect this film to be the turning point. For fans of the books, it is always interesting to see your favourite characters on the big screen, regardless of the context in which you watch them.

And so I give this film an apathetic 2.5/5, watch it if you have time, but don’t rush out, there is nothing revolutionary here.

Okaaayy..this post really is

POINTLESS

I’ve WARNED you!!

Hmm, I make this post ‘coz suddenly I remember my teacher said that the valuation would also based on color, font, bla3x..

everything that makes this blog and posts in it looked much nicer and prettier *beeuuhhh -.-”a*

Mmmm, and basically I’m the kind of person that like to post in standard color and font (like black and arial *it’s really standard =.=*). Well, there’s really no personal reason, I’m just too lazy to change the color and background color for words and font (I have to write it @frontpage first to do this one), and maybe because (based on my own experience), if it’s too colorful, it will be hard for other ppls to read and not really good for eyes too..@.@”.. *droll*

But, it’s kinda nice to sometimes put some color and change font (as long as it’s not too much), and this post definitely use too much colors

O,yeah..I wanna ask you..what do u think about this font? I LOVES this sooo much ♥

I think this is the end of this POINTLESS post..=.=”..dun really like this post anyway, I mean, it’s really have nothing to do with anything…really, really boriiinngg..and USELESS…

You can say that this post just for testing for ‘how it will look if I use many colors’

Haha, I know most of my tweets are in the self promotion and pointless babble sections.
Do you tweet? Follow me on Timn96

Ok, so I was on Twitter, and there was a trending topic of pointless signs. This gave me an idea to go around collecting amazing signs and to put them in a two part post for all my readers. So I found them, and here they are along with my comments to each of them.

is rain supposed to be dry?

wait..warthogs?

my car will be fine though...

my car is supposed to work underwater thought

good luck figuring it out

I won't trespass on this property

it is a traffic light tree!

But I wanted to jump in the toxic waste!

this makes me want to throw a stone at it

haha wow

wow...

only in America

is this person dislexic?

where is the snow here?

I hope that people understand this sign

what do I need to obey?

isn't the bridge being out more important?

which sign do I follow?

we need a sign to let us know about a sign?

so if you need access, then you can get through?

dog

really? I couldn't tell

Parking for a drive through pharmacy?

penguines? are they the ones from Madagascar?

it is the other left?

I thought it was purple!

which one do I follow?

which way is the one way?

haha nice

so..if nothing happened then why is there a plaque

Can’t wait for the weekend, this week has been so long, what with the PFT & CFT. It has given me the confidence that I can pass them, but I am a broken person for it. Everything hurts. A lot. I just want to lay in bed all of Saturday and recover.

Cycled to tesco today. Just to see how long it’d take. 15-20mins, around the same time it takes in the car with traffic/parking. It hurt going uphill though, especially on the way back. Shouldn’t of bought that 2ltr bottle of tropical juice >_<

Listening to: Jens Lekman – Maple Leaves (7″ Version)

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.

I want to be treated like a lady. 

 ”You know “that look” women get when they want sex? Me neither.”
–Steve Martin
 

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
–Woody Allen
 

 ”Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
–Rodney Dangerfield

 
“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.”
–George Burns

 
“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.”
–Sharon Stone

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”
–Jack Nicholson

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
–Barbara Bush

“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”
–Robin Williams

“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.”
– Roseanne

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
–Billy Crystal

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”
–Robert De Niro

 ” There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?”
–Dustin Hoffman

I’ve only gone and passed my CFT It was had work though. My ankle kept going on the muddy bits and I got simultaneous cramp in both calves towards the end. “I’ve never heard so much swearing from a young lady before“, remarked one of the Sgt’s who was cheering me on. He kept getting my name wrong, but his intentions were good. That was all that got me through the 2hr ordeal, friends cheering me on. When I’d start dropping back, I’d hear, “C’on Jess! Don’t give up now, get up there!“.

Had the best bacon sandwich of my life when I got back to my room I’m scared to take my boots off, I can feel the blisters. Shall be walking like a penguin for the rest of the week.

Injection tomorrow, so no PT. Wooooooo.

Listening to: Bowling For Soup – I Gotchoo

Watch this space!

All out “Bob and me” argument. One guy even brings up “Baby Grammar Jesus.” I thought this was a hoot, and it goes to show us that, in wars of grammar, nobody wins.

Ahahaha!

Passed my PFT (personal fitness test) yesterday. Tomorrow we have a CFT (combat fitness test). I’m not very combat fit. Not at all. The PFT I can handle because the press-ups & sit-ups are easy. Even if you don’t get enough, your partner counting will probably add a few on for you if they’re kind enough. The 1.5mile run only lasts as long as you want it to (no more than 13mins for femmes). With the CFT though, it lasts for aaaages. You’re supposed to take long strides but I have wee little legs so I end up running most the way. Urgh. Shoulda joined the RAF.

Money has become an issue. I don’t know what I’ve spent it all on, but it has gone somewhere. I have just over a fiver to my name ’till the end of the month. The food in my room that has to last until then consists of:

• packet of smash
• x4 potato waffles
• x1 chicken fillet
• half a bag of salad
• half a bag of crutons
• blue cheese dressing
• carton of mango juice
• butter
• milk
• x4 packets of oatmeal
• x3 packets of ramen
• an MRE
• a muffin

Just the fact that I’m on rations is making me more hungry.

Watching: CO-OP – MW2

let it be written, so we all know it is true:

i am now a corporate creature, a donkey, or a mule.

not a flea or a monkey or something else agile

not a tiger or a giraffe or anything wild.

a corporate donkey has burdens and sighs

a corporate donkey has sad droopy eyes.

us corporate donkeys have afflictions so largish

our songs aren’t of freedom, but laments and dirges.

oh corporate donkey, your floor is so gray

your parrots have left you, how wanly you bray!

your world is so tiny and dull and alas!

it goes on for ever: this time shall not pass.

all hopes are now shattered, all sleep is now dead

all crows are bad omens of crap on your head.

forests are myths, tigers may well be extinct

clouds mean umbrellas and ACs that stink -

the world has now ended for us cats in our box,

though at six it recommences, brief as a fox.

oh corporate donkeys unite while you can

say no to all mornings, cry gah! to the plan

sleep late til tomorrow, and never check your mail. then

hide until the world leaves, and comes around again.

Here are some math jokes:

1

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying overnight at a hotel. (They have separate rooms.)

During the night, a fire breaks out in the engineer’s room. The engineer wakes up, sees it, and looks around the room for a way to put it out. He grabs the ice bucket from the minibar, fills it with water in the bathroom, and dumps it over the fire, putting it out. The engineer, satisfied that his solution worked, goes back to bed.

Coincidentally, a fire also breaks out in the physicist’s room. The physicist sees it, and springs into action. He makes some quick calculations, then hurries to the bathroom, and fills a glass with a precisely calculated volume of water. He returns and slowly pours it over the fire. The very last drop of water from the glass is just enough to put out the very last of the fire. Satisfied that his calculations were correct, the physicist goes back to bed.

By an amazing coincidence, a fire also breaks out in the mathematician’s room. The mathematician sees it, and makes the same calculations as the physicist. He goes to the bathroom, and sees that there is a glass, and a functioning water faucet. Then, satisfied that the problem has a solution, he goes back to bed.

2

The numbers are having a bit of a shindig. It’s all pretty exciting, everyone is having fun – sin and cos are dancing away, pi is vomiting in the corner and it seems like everyone is having a great time. After a while, though, i (aka the square root of -1) spots e sitting by himself. i goes over to investigate.
“Hey e, what’s wrong?”
e just sighs and shakes his head.
“Well, why don’t you try to integrate yourself?” says i
e replies: “It wouldn’t make any difference.”

3

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.

4

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given an identical red rubber ball and told to find its volume. The mathematician gets out a measuring tape and measures the circumference, then calculates the volume using an equation. The physicist fills up a beaker of water, drops the ball in, finds the difference, and calculates the volume that way. The engineer gets out his Red Rubber Ball book and looks up the volume in a table.

5

Two mathematicians are walking down the street when their friend rides up on a new bicycle. They ask their friend where he got it from. He replies “Well, I was walking down the street and this beautiful woman rode up to me, got off the bike, ripped off all her clothes and said ‘Take whatever you want!’”

“Good choice,” said one of the friends. “I doubt her clothes would have fit.”

6

A mathematican walks into a bar accompanied by a dog and a cow. The bartender says, “Hey, no animals are allowed in here.”

The mathematician replies, “These are very special animals.”

“How so?”

“They’re knot theorists.”

The bartender raises his eyebrows and says, “I’ve met a number of knot theorists who I thought were animals, but never an animal that was a knot theorist.”

“Well, I’ll prove it to you. Ask them them anything you like.”

So the bartender asks the dog, “Name a knot invariant.”

“Arf! Arf!” barks the dog.

The bartender scowls and turns to the cow asking, “Name a topological invariant.”

“Mu! Mu!” says the cow.

At this point the bartender turns to the mathematican and says, “Very funny.” With that, he throws the three out of the bar.

Outside, sitting on the curb, the dog turns to the mathematican and asks, “Do you think I should have said the Jones polynomial instead?”

(The dog is, of course, referring to the Cahit Arf-invariant of knot theory, while the cow is referring to the Milnor mu-invariant of algebraic topology.)

Yeah, okay. After that last one, we’ve surpassed my ability to laugh at mathematicians. Is that funny to someone? Really?

Can’t be bothered with work today. We don’t have any actual work to do, so they’re just making stuff up. Lessons that we’ve done before. The classroom is really warm so I keep nodding off. I have to take a lesson on voice procedure after lunch. Meh.

I want to go home/sleep/play computer games/ice skate.

We have PT later. I’m so unfit now. It’s shameful.

Listening to: Tegan and Sara – Underwater

Hm, so I decided I would sort out my whole blogging schedule and here is what I decided. Usually in the weekdays I’m always exhausted or never have the time or motivation to blog so I will do most of my ranting on week ends. Some of my post will be in the category of “Spontaneous Jab” which is basically going to be a blog about some random, pointless, thing I probably find interesting, and the other post will fall into the category of “Ranting Galore” (I’m creative, I know[; ) which will mainly focus of my views on current politics, society issues, or humanity in general. I usually do some amateur research before writing an article that has to do with politics or something controversial So sometimes my post may be a little too long or just a little too straight forward.
On that note, I shall now take my leave and return to you all some other day.
-H.

last night i met a cockroach pair

on the kitchen floor at night.

all of us were prowling there

looking for a bite.

if i’d seen the food first,

i’d've hidden it out of sight;

the cockroaches, in contrast

were utterly polite -

“we believe” they told me,

“in share and share alike.”

“a cockroach monarch of the earth

would smell of dignity, ruth and worth

oh cockroaches! come out and sing,

periplanata! rise and sting!

oh cockroaches all shout and dance

periplanata! take your chance!”

i shuddered just a little bit,

but i acted fast and quick:

i took a broom and swept them out.

oh cockroach king, without a doubt

you’re clever, quick and kind

but guard your back and never let a human get behind.

I am having way more fun than I should be by reading this Facebook group’s wall posts.

Take a look at some.

I’ve always wanted to say some of these things, minus the JK.

JK.

…

Not.

MY WEATHERMAN IS CALLED ROB MCELWEE!

So now you know.

Here he is:

“It’s the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We’re always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.”