Bite: A Vampire Handbook by Kevin Jackson

Published: January 2009, Portobello Books

ISBN: 9781846272110

The Recommend:

Over the course of his literary life, Kevin Jackson has wanted to be a marine biologist, a Surrealist, a guerrilla fighter — and a vampire.

Move past the contemporary confections that stand in for real vampires, and settle into this book’s embrace, an entertaining compendium of night-walker expertise.

*

About Becca Wilcott (@BeccaWilcott):

*

Rebecca Wilcott is the author of Truly, Madly, Deadly: The Unofficial True Blood Companion (June 2010, ECW Press.)

She has no desire to be turned, but thank you for asking.

RebeccaWilcott.com

As the old year passes, and with it the old decade, those of us who believe in Justice for LGBTQ people have memories to preserve, work to do, thanks to express, and hope to rekindle.  The Unfinished Lives Project was conceived as a visual and verbal resource for the public to use in the on-going struggle for freedom from violence and fear that Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer folk face every day in the United States.  WordPress tallies show that as of this writing nearly 44,000 have visited this site since its first posting in June 2008: to educate themselves about the slow-rolling holocaust facing members of the sexual minority, to bring the stories of so many casualties of homophobia and heterosexism to light who would otherwise be forgotten, and to steel themselves for the long, difficult, painful work of changing the culture of violence against the different in which we must live.  While countless hours of writing and research have gone into creating and maintaining this web site, that is nothing compared to the stress and loss faced by so many families and loved ones who have experienced the horrors of hate crime murder during these years.  The backstory of this blog has been and continues to be the awe-inspiring courage of the bereaved mothers, fathers, lovers and friends who have been thrust into the harsh glare of activism on behalf of the LGBTQ community because they refuse to allow their loved ones to have died in vain.  We owe them, and you, Dear Reader, our thanks and our continuing labor until Justice comes.  It is to that end we at the Unfinished Lives Project keep telling these grim stories of real people who suffer in America for no other “crime” than being who they are.  The past decade, especially the past year, has seen substantive change–not enough, nor comprehensive enough, to be sure–but real change nonetheless.  Cultural, political, and religious attitudes toward LGBTQ people are changing in this country.  The passage of the James Byrd, Jr. and Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Prevention Act, the first comprehensive hate crimes law in federal history, is now law.  Convictions under state and federal hate crimes statutes, something conservative law makers and law enforcement officers said would never happen, are occurring already in bellweather states like Colorado and New York.   This trend will no doubt continue as the New Year dawns.  The infamous “gay panic” defense, and its evil twin, the “trans panic” defense are increasingly discredited and ineffective in American courts of law. Religious attitudes have thawed slightly, but the progress is real, if spotty.  Religion and Faith offices and activism, once thought to be the “third rail” of human rights politics, have been established in all the major advocacy organizations that lobby for change.  LGBTQ lives and practices are no longer viewed as criminal by the religious leaders of conscience in the United States, and tolerance toward queer folk in congregational life and leadership is on the rise: the Episcopal Church, the Alliance of Baptists, the United Church of Christ, and the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America are cases in point.  Homophobia in churches, synagogues, mosques and schools is not going unchallenged in American daily life, and that is encouraging.  ENDA, DADT, and many other legislative initiatives are on the horizon for the new decade.  Marriage Equality, which heretofore has been fought for state-by-state (often attended by an alarming hike in anti-LGBT hate crime violence where the issue is most hotly contested), and now advocates are re-evaluating the tactics and strategies of equality.  There is nothing magic about the passage of the Shepard Act.  Every day, in every region of the nation, LGBTQ people and those mistakenly assumed to be like us, are suffering violence and death, and from our researches at the Unfinished Lives Project, these statistics are increasing alarmingly.  One more life lost is one too many.  Fear is no way to live in the Land of the Free.  So, we who believe in Justice will greet the New Year with resolve.  An African American spiritual lyric testifies, “We Ain’t in No Wise Tired,” and that is providential.  We cannot rest until Justice comes.  And, we are glad to be in the fight for true “peace on earth, goodwill to all,” with you.

I came across a promotional newspaper supplement about some electronic stuff and was surprised to see that Tarkan’s photo was used for the promotion of a 20GB memory card. Those who would buy the product would get a “Tarkan” bonus as well: his video and 10 songs in digital format. Seeing this, I remembered the latest pose of Tarkan in an advertisement to boost the sales of Turkish oranges in the Russian market and I could not help thinking about the relationship between celebrities and consumer culture.

One of the sources I checked was Chris Roje’s Celebrity (2001) where he claimed that “capitalist systems want individuals to be both desiring objects and objects of desire.” I could see the truth in his claim simply by looking at my own and other people’s individual consumption habits. There are many times when we prefer one product to the other just because the product we have chosen is linked to the celebrity figure we love… Beyonce’s “True Star” fragrance collection, Beckham’s Armani underwear… examples are plentiful both at local (here in Turkey) and at international scope.

What is common in visual representations of these products is that while celebrities are used as objects of desire, we (customers or fans) are asked to play the role of desiring objects and feel fulfilled and complete once we have bought the products being promoted.

There is also another way of looking at the relationship between celebrities and consumer culture.  Celebrities like Tarkan, Beyonce and Beckham must be making some money by simply accepting to give their names to the products or by accepting to be associated with the products. I am not saying this is right or wrong. I am just trying to point out that by doing so, these celebrities inevitably say “yes” to their own commodification as well. They lose their agency and turn into commodities through what they offer to the customers and/or their fans.

And “us” as customers and/or fans? What do we do? We follow our beloved celebrities, feel gratified and enjoy the sense of belonging to a group because there are many others out there buying the same products as we do… And we happily consume those who we say we love so much….

Or sometimes we resist and don’t go with the…

Courtesy of Ali Nihat Eken Blog

“I came across a promotional newspaper supplement about some electronic stuff and was surprised to see that Tarkan’s photo was used for the promotion of a 20GB memory card. Those who would buy the product would get a “Tarkan” bonus as well: his video and 10 songs in digital format. Seeing this, I remembered the latest pose of Tarkan in an advertisement to boost the sales of Turkish oranges in the Russian market and I could not help thinking about the relationship between celebrities and consumer culture.

One of the sources I checked was Chris Roje’s Celebrity (2001) where he claimed that “capitalist systems want individuals to be both desiring objects and objects of desire.” I could see the truth in his claim simply by looking at my own and other people’s individual consumption habits. There are many times when we prefer one product to the other just because the product we have chosen is linked to the celebrity figure we love… Beyonce’s “True Star” fragrance collection, Beckham’s Armani underwear… examples are plentiful both at local (here in Turkey) and at international scope.

What is common in visual representations of these products is that while celebrities are used as objects of desire, we (customers or fans) are asked to play the role of desiring objects and feel fulfilled and complete once we have bought the products being promoted.

There is also another way of looking at the relationship between celebrities and consumer culture. Celebrities like Tarkan, Beyonce and Beckham must be making some money by simply accepting to give their names to the products or by accepting to be associated with the products. I am not saying this is right or wrong. I am just trying to point out that by doing so, these celebrities inevitably say “yes” to their own commodification as well. They lose their agency and turn into commodities through what they offer to the customers and/or their fans.

And “us” as customers and/or fans? What do we do? We follow our beloved celebrities, feel gratified and enjoy the sense of belonging to a group because there are many others out there buying the same products as we do… And we happily consume those who we say we love so much….

Or sometimes we resist and don’t go with the… “

This article presents a “short form” and then repeats the short form with a longer discussion of each point. The goal is to put the basic information needed to build a plastic model into your hands as quickly and easily as I can. Please let me know if you used this quide, what you liked, what could be improved, what you didn’t like. And don’t forget to mention how your model building went!

Minimum Tools:
1) Diagonal cutters or fingernail clippers or kitchen scissors or small pruning clippers…

2) Masking tape, the blue, long-use type…

3) Non-toxic plastic model glue (Testor’s blue label). Like the toxic stuff, it dissolves the plastic to form joints. Very strong when dry.

4) At least a coarse fingernail sanding stick, a piece of sandpaper or an emery board… Coarse

5) A paint stirrer, if you’re using paint.

Optional: 6) A really sharp knife for trimming parts…

7) Some “Future” brand floor wax if you’re using clear parts or decals…

A container for water to rinse your brushes, if you’re using paint…

9) A small, fine, flat file and rat-tail round file. The file on a nail clipper will work.

What to do:

1) Wash all the plastic parts in warm water with a little bit of dish detergent. Dry gently.

2) Read the instructions all the way through.

3) Brush 2-3 coats of Future over all clear parts

4) Start at the beginning of the instructions, build a subassembly, put it aside for the glue to dry, start the next.

4.1) Fit the parts together dry, without glue. Use tape to hold them in place.

4.2) Use the clippers, knife, sanding stick and file to get each part to fit

4.3) Apply glue lightly, where the parts will touch, back from the edge. Big joints benefit from glue on both pieces.

4.4) Fit the parts together, with many small pieces of tape right across the joints.

4.5) Let the glue dry at least a day. If you can smell glue solvent, its not dry yet.

4.6) After the glue is dry, sand, scrape, file, trim, etc before you continue with the subassembly or before paint.

5) To glue the clear parts, sand or scrape off the Future from where the glue should dissolve the plastic, put the pieces together, tape them in place, ‘wick’ the glue between the parts. Easy does it. You can always make a second pass.

6) Paint parts when a given subassembly of a given color is together. Not before or after assembly, but during assembly.

7) Most of the work in painting is preparation. Get the piece or subassembly as nice as you can before you start painting.

9) Stir the paint until you are sure it’s completely blended. Then stir one more minute.

10) Don’t expect good paint coverage in 1 coat, use many THIN coats. Sand or scrape off unwanted paint, don’t paint over it.

11) You can mix a lot of colors from red, yellow, blue, black, white and flat aluminum.

12) If the paint seems to dry TOO fast, makes lumps, brush marks, or pull off when you add another coat, add a few DROPS of water, or water mixed with rubbing alcohol, and stir thoroughly.

12.1 ALWAYS clean and dry the top of paint jars, so the lid seals neatly and can be opened easilyl.

13) Future floor wax and the water-based paint don’t react to the non-toxic glue. So you can blot-up extra, especially on the outside.

14) Just let the bare plastic be the basic color when you start with painting. Paint the little bits that should be silver, or black, or other colors that stand out. Paint the interior but not the exterior. Paint the engine but not the body, the wheels and tires (on airplanes) but not the wings.

15) If you really must paint the whole thing, use many thin color coats. If you want shiny paint, you can paint with a flat paint that’s easy to use, followed by several coats of Future to make it shiny. Expect it to take a week. Or more.

16) I use and recomend Polly Scale acrylic paint for models. Also Testor’s Model Master Acryl (water based) and Tamiya water/alcohol based paint. Tamiya’s spray paints are pretty neat too, but they’re NOT water based or non-toxic. I leave anything I spray outdoors or at least in the garage for 24 hours.

17) Check your public and school library for “Fine Scale Modeler” (USA) or your local model builder’s magazine. FSM, and the others, also have web-sites. You can find reviews and advice on how to build, paint, and improve many models onine.

18) Internet Modeler and Hyperscale are other general-modeling sites. Modelling Madness tends more toward military airplanes, Airline Modelers Digest (AMD) and Airliner Cafe are specificly for commercial, passenger, aircraft.

19) In the southern San Francisco Bay Area, The Silicon Valley Scale Modelers club meets every 3rd Friday-of-the-month in the Milpitas Library meeting room. 7:00 to 10:30 pm. The Fremont Hornets meet at 7:30pm, Wally Pond Irvington Community Center, 41885 Blacow Road, Fremont, CA, similar hours. New modelers are always welcome at both clubs.

Look online or ask at your local hobby shop for the club in your neighborhood.

———-========== Long Form ==========———-

1) Diagonal cutters or fingernail clippers or kitchen scissors or small pruning clippers or some other small tool for neatly cutting the parts off the trees. Put the flat (bottom) side of cutters against the part, the stuff you want, and let the connection to the tree get mushed by the diagonal part of the cutters. You can use a sharp knife for this but clippers are easier. If you use a knife, cut against a plastic or wood cutting board or the back of an old phone book or something like that- thick, smooth, something the knife can’t either hurt or cut all the way through.

2) At least a coarse fingernail sanding stick to smooth the clipped edges and any ‘flash’ or wrong-shaped areas on the parts. A medium and a fine stick would be good too- start with the coarse, then the medium, then finish with the fine. The colored ones with white foam inside them are waterproof and you can get better results by using them ‘wet’ with a little water from the sink. Experiment on the part trees to see what you can do with them. A piece of sandpaper- 100 to 300 grit, would work if you can’t get fingernail sanders. “Emery boards”, with beige stuff on wooden or cardboard sticks, are NOT waterproof and will fall apart if you wet them, but they work too. Medium Fine

3) Masking tape to hold the parts in place while the glue dries. I prefer the long-life stuff that’s colored blue- you can leave it on for weeks and it doesn’t get ‘funny’, the way the old beige style does. One roll will last for years. A given model needs maybe a foot, or less. Use lots of little pieces right at the seams to hold parts.

4) Non-toxic plastic model glue. Testor’s make a liquid and a gel ‘glue’ that are flamiable, but not toxic… neat trick that. The tubes and bottles have blue labels, to be different from the red-orange label on their toxic, flamable, glue… I’ve been using the non-toxic for years, it works great. It really melts the plastic, but doesn’t give you a headache. Work in good ventilation anyway- open the window, sit outside, leave parts that are drying somewhere that the fumes can escape easily (garage, on the porch, etc.)

5) A paint stirrer. A piece of solid copper wire, a large, long, shiny nail, a small, clean, screwdriver. Something metal that you can put into the paint, stir with (like a wooden stirring stick for house paint) and rinse off in hot water and/or with a scrubber to get ALL the paint off it.

6) A really sharp knife for trimming parts. You can get along with just clippers and sanding sticks, but a knife will make short work of small trimming jobs. It can also be used to carve away extra glue or melted plastic at joints, or scrape adjacent surfaces to a common plane (or curve). A sharply pointed knife can do many jobs you might expect to require a drill- making holes enlarging holes or openings in parts. A kitchen pairing knife that’s been sharpened will do, as will any other small pocket knife that is sharp, or a box cutter, X-acto knife, scalpel, etc. Single-edge razor blades are more trouble than they are worth for plastic models. A small Xacto knife handle and small package of #11 pointed blades is a part of many modeler’s tool kits.

7) Some “Future” brand floor wax- if you don’t use it in your house, maybe one of your friends or neighbors does. Its like magic, two or three coats over ‘flat’ paint and it looks like the part was dipped in glass. SO shiny! It completely protects clear parts from damage by solvent glue, both non-toxic and toxic kinds. And it cleans up with water. Its also a good undercoat for decals, which work best on a glossy surface, and a top coat to seal them. If you want a dull, flat, finish, a barrier coat of Future followed by Testor’s Dullcote from a rattle can will do the trick.

A container for water to rinse your brushes in as soon as you finish using them. A plastic deli container, plastic drink container, etc, anything you can rinse out with HOT water and scrub off extra paint will work. Empty jars are good, coffee cups with broken handles, salsa containers from a resturant. A damp paper towel works almost as well.

9) One or more small, fine, files, 4 to 8 inches long. The most useful are a flat one and a round, tapered, rat-tail. The file from a nail-clipper is a start, a but you’ll soon want more than you can do with it. An inexpensive file assortment will last a lifetime. Use a wire brush to clean the faces if they get clogged with plastic.

What to do:

1) Wash all the plastic parts in warm (not hot, like bath water when you’re done) water with a little bit of dish detergent. Use your fingertips to rub soapy water all over all the parts- they’re cleaner and softer than any sponge or brush. Rinse well, pat dry with a towel and then let the parts air dry completely. This will remove any oil or ‘mold release’ that might be on the plastic and allow paint and glue to work best.

2) Read the instructions all the way through, find all the parts, figure out how they fit together. NEVER apply cement unless you’ve put the parts together FIRST and confirmed that you’ve got the right ones and you know the way to assemble them. Ask me how I know this…. For complex stuff, assemble the parts and tape them together. When you’re ready to glue, take off all the tape, stick it on the edge of something, stick it back on as you glue things together.

3) For the clear parts, you don’t have to wait for the parts to dry- Use the wide, flat brush to paint Future floor wax, maybe with a little tap water on the brush to start, lightly and smoothly over all the clear parts. Don’t make big puddles, just a little, light coat, everywhere. When the parts are covered, prop them up somewhere where any excess can drip off and no dust will fall on them. Alone, inside the box the kit came in, is good. When the first coat is dry, 20-60 minutes, put another light coat on. You want complete coverage. When its time to glue on the clear parts, scrape or sand off the Future where you want the glue to work. The Future will serve as a barrier and keep the rest of the clear parts from being damaged by glue. No finger prints, no white clouds, just shiny, clear, parts.

4) Start at the beginning of the instructions and build sub-assemblies. If you’re painting, stop when you get all of a given color together- for example, the cockpit of an airplane or engine block of a car. Put it aside for the glue to dry, and go back and build more. Cut out, trim, fit, glue, tape, let it sit, repeat. Test-fit and Clean-up the sub-assemblies before assembling them further.

4.1) Fit all the major parts together dry, without glue, before you apply glue. Use tape to hold the parts in place, see how it all fits, and where adjustments may be needed. This is when you check that all the tires of a vehicle will touch the ground at the same time, that you’ve got enough wieght in the nose of an airplane, etc.

4.2) Use the clippers, knife, sanding stick and file to get each part to fit, and look right. Remove material slowly, its much harder to add! If you think you need to use the knife, try the file first. If you think you need the file, try the sanding stick. Everything should fit with no effort needed to hold it in place, but only just.

4.3) Apply glue lightly, where the parts will touch, some distance back from the edge if you can. Big joints like body or fuselage or wings benefit from light glue on both pieces. Most small parts are fine with glue on just one before joining. I prefer liquid glue because I can apply less of it, but small amounts are still very sticky, as they disolve the plastic.

4.4) Fit the parts together, with many small pieces of tape right across the joints. If parts fit perfectly, you can tape them tightly in place FIRST and then apply the glue, wicking it along the seam, or apply it from the inside or back-side. Many small parts will stay put without tape or other clamping. It may help to prop the sub-assembly against or on top of the kit box, on paint jars, etc. Long, thin, parts, like landing gear, gear shift levers, etc., dry well while hanging straight down. This may be easier to arrange than taping them firmly in place AND correctly aligned.

4.5) Let the glue dry at least a day. If you can smell the glue solvent, its not dry yet. You CAN check alignment and gently manipulate parts that aren’t right- SMALL adjustments of a few degrees are ok, larges ones may need re-gluing. To hold airplane models in place while horizontal stabilizers, rudders, engine pods, antennae and so forth are drying, I slide one wing between a tight bunch of books on a bookshelf. putting the plane vertical. You can check of alignment of parts that should be 90 degrees apart by holding them directly above a CD case or a book or some other stiff, right-angled, object. Sight along the center lines of the parts- surface to surface angles are affected by any taper in the form of the part, so the correct 90 degrees at the center of two surfaces might be 95 degrees from the surface of one to the surface of the other 4.6) After the glue is dry, sand, scrape, file, trim, etc before you continue with the subassembly or before paint. 5) To glue the clear parts, sand or scrape off the Future from where the glue should dissolve the plastic, put the pieces together, tape them in place, ‘wick’ the glue between the parts. Easy does it. You can always make a second pass. 6) Other than Future on the clear parts, its NOT best to paint all the parts before assembly OR after assembly- the time to paint is when you’ve got all the stuff that is going to be one color or related colors put together. DURING assembly! So, for example, put the seats, or the engine block or transmission, or body, or suspension together, let the glue dry, THEN paint it. Paint will prevent the glue from melting the plastic, so you want to glue things together before painting if at all possible, but you don’t want to glue things together that will be different colors if you can paint them separately. If you get paint on the parts that the glue should be on, just wipe it off with a paper towel, and when it dries, scrape it off with the edge of a knife blade or sand it gently with the coarse sanding stick. (or fine, etc.) So paint the steering wheel, gear shift, parking brake, etc, now.

7) Stir the paint until you are sure it’s completely blended. EVERY time. Then stir for at least one more minute. This allows you to build up thin coats, all the same color. If you don’t stir completely, they won’t be the same color.

DON’T try to paint anything with one coat. For a good gloss, you’ll need at least 2-3 coats of Future. For a good black over white plastic, 2-4 coats, letting them dry in between. FOr a good white over black, it might take 5-7 coats. For red or yellow, put a coat or two of white under it unless you’re painting over clean, white, plastic. If you get a splotch of paint where you don’t want it, don’t try to hide it with another color. Clean it up NOW, using warm-hot water and a paper towel. If something goes really wrong you can always dunk the model pieces under running, hot water and the old finish will disappear. You can scrub with fingers and a dish scrubber, and detergent. If it dries, you can gently sand (with running water and fine sanding stick) or scrape with a knife.

9) You can mix almost any color from red, yellow, blue, white and black and flat aluminum. Mix small amounts on a plastic container lid, wash the stirrer in the sink with warm water and a scrubber between colors, don’t contaminate one jar with paint from onother. Start with equal (one drop) amounts, use simple formulas you can remember and re-create: 1 drop red, 10 drops white for a pink, for example. Put the drops next to each other rather than on top of each other, and use your big brush to pull in the color you want to get the shade you need. Write down the recipe you like on the plans of the model, right next to the assembly you are painting. Orange = Red and Yellow, Purple = Red and Blue, Green = Blue and Yellow. Olive green = Yellow and Black. Brown = equal parts of Red, Yellow, Blues. Metalic gray is a little black and a little flat aluminum. Lighten to taste with white. Transparent red for tail lights is a little red and a little Future floor wax Transparent orange for turn signals and front markers is a little red, a little yellow, a little Future floor wax. Do your mixing in a disposable pastic container, a deli pint or coffee can lid, ice-tray you bought at the junk store, etc. If the paint dries, you can throw it away. Color and black is a “Tone”. Color and white is a “Tint”. Color with black and white is a colored gray.

10) If the paint seems to dry TOO fast, makes lumps or big brush marks, or applying the second coat seems to pull off the first coat, add a few DROPS of water or water mixed with rubbing alcohol, stir thoroughly, try again. NEVER more than 5 drops at a time. Once you put in too much water, its REALLY hard to get it out! (But you can, if you let the paint settle so the color is at the bottom, then take off a few DROPS of the clear liquid using a brush…)

11) To glue on the clear parts, sand or scrape off the Future floor wax from where the glue should disolve the plastic, put the pieces together, tape them in place, then gently apply the glue and let capilary action ‘wick’ the glue into the spaces between the parts. You can use this same technique for any big seam, but it works best when there’s an ‘inside’ or ‘underside’ (that nobody will see) that you can work from. Some of the glue will stay on the surface of the seam. To make your seams more invisible, apply the glue at the back edge of the parts and let it get squeezed out to the front.

12) Because the Future floor wax (and the water-based paint) don’t react to the glue, you can use a piece of power towel or tissue paper to blot-up extra glue, especially from external parts like door mirrors and other things on the outside of the body.

13) Let the bare plastic color be the body color when you start with paint your kits, don’t try to paint everything to start with. Painting is a lot of work and can be very frustrating. Let yourself enjoy building the kit and get it done. Paint some things with solid colors, enjoy the effect. If you really must paint the body, use many thin brush coats, after thoroughly stirring the paint, followed by several coats of Future, or many, thin, spray can coats… followed by Future. Expect it to take a week to get done.

14) Check your public and school library for “Fine Scale MOdeller” magazine. They also have a web-site and there are hundreds of modelers out on the web. You can probably find reviews of this kit and advice on how to build it. You can certainly find advice on paint.

15) Check your public and school library for “Fine Scale Modeler”, “Model Builder International”, “Modelist Konstructor”, etc, magazines. Many of these also have a web-site. (http://www.finescale.com/fsm/) Web membership is free, and you don’t have to subscribe to the magazine. You can find reviews and advice on how to build, paint, and improve many models in their forums.

16) Internet Modeler (http://www.internetmodeler.com/) and Hyperscale http://hyperscale.com/) are other general-modeling sites. Modelling Madness (http://hyperscale.com/) tends more toward military airplanes, Airline Modelers Digest (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/airlinermodelling ) and Airliner Cafe (http://www.airlinercafe.com/)are specificly for commercial, passenger, aircraft. http://www.rocketfin.com/model_car_links.html is a page full of links to automotive-related modeling sites. Steel Navy (http://www.steelnavy.com/) is for ship modellers, mostly military ships. http://www.combinedfleet.com/kaigun.htm focuses on the Imperial Navy of Japan, ending in 1945. The Silicon Valley Scale Modelers club meets every 3rd Friday in the Milpitas, CA. Library meeting room. The Fremont Hornets meet at 7:30pm, Wally Pond Irvington Community Center, 41885 Blacow Road, Fremont, CA You can find help and advice at either club, and ask questions of other modelers, or just sit and watch. Both are chartered by the IPMS/USA, the International Plastic Modeler’s Society, which formed in the 1960s in the UK. Most of every meeting is “Model Talk”, where each person talks about the model they are working on, or the one they just finished. Its free, and its fun. There are door prizes for those who bring a model to share, done or not. New modelers, their parents and friends are aways welcome at both clubs. Acrylic Primary Colors, for example: Blue Red Yellow Black White Silver/Aluminum: and a nice light grey:

Specialized paints: Acrylic Spray Paint for model cars: RAF, Battle Of Britan, WWII: Auto Detailing Paint set: Military Airplane Paint set: A weathering set for making your model look well used: Some representitive model kits in the moderately expensive ($15-35)range:

The FBI released files it collected over the past 17 years on Michael Jackson on Tuesday, most of them from the federal agency’s support of the California investigations of child molestation allegations against the entertainer.

Journalists began scouring the 333 heavily redacted pages — published on the FBI’s Web site — for any new insight into Jackson’s life and the investigations of him.

The FBI, noting that Jackson was acquitted of all charges, said the case files were made public after Freedom of Information Act requests filed after the pop star’s June 25 death.

Los Angeles Police, who were investigating child molestation allegations against Jackson, called the FBI’s Los Angeles office in September 1993 to suggest the agency look into a “possible federal violation against Jackson concerning transportation of a minor across state lines for immoral purposes (Mann Act)”, one document said.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Patricia Donahue “advised that she checked with her front office and they had made the decision that the United States attorney was not interested in prosecuting Michael Jackson for a violation of the Mann Act,” the report said.

via FBI files on Michael Jackson published online – CNN.com.

The actor Emma Thompson has given a very good interview on women’s rights. I know everything in the media revolves around celebrity but it’s refreshing to hear someone in showbusiness speak frankly and directly about political struggle. It’s a world away from Bono, needless to say.

Emma says:

I don’t think women are top of anyone’s agenda. I find now is the time for more militancy than ever before. I feel now, in my 50th year, having been very angry and militant as a young woman, that things are not getting better. They’re getting worse; and the sex trafficking industry is an example. I feel that in most places women don’t have jurisdiction over their own bodies. And that if we don’t start seriously addressing the value and the worth of women in the world, this sort of thing is just going to get worse. And I feel that very strongly, and having lived for long enough, actually, to back it up.

Thompson is most exercised over the growing ‘trade’ in trafficking women as sex slaves. She’s helped produce a short film called The Journey that judging from the trailer looks pretty brutal and uncompromising. On its relation to mainstream culture, she says:

Let’s take advertising; the area of women’s magazines, the representation of women. I would ask people to question the way in which they are selling their products. I would ask the government to question the way in which it’s a normal thing to walk into any newsagents and see very overt sexual pictures of women everywhere. This is what our kids grow up surrounded by. Is it any wonder that we buy and sell women on the street in broad daylight? No, it bloody isn’t.

It’s a very interesting brief interview.

The end of year holidays are all about it being too cold to venture outside, and being miserable because you forgot to stock up on food and now it’s too cold to venture outside. So you curl up in your pyjamas with a warm cup of something you managed to salvage from the back of a cupboard, and plonk down in front of the TV.

Alternatively, for people living in the southern hemisphere, where the end of year takes place during the summer months, it’s all about it being too hot to venture outside, and curling up with something you fished out from the back of the freezer.

Chances are, in both case scenarios, you’ll end up in front of the TV, watching a soppy film about how a family reunites, a hopeless bachelor(ette)  or a single mum/ dad finds true love, an icy scrooge thaws out…yaddah yaddah yaddah.

When you’re stomach’s left growling after those small screen tidbits, you’ll want to sink your teeth into something slightly more satisfying. I give you my top three Classic Holiday Season Movies.

Love, Actually is, obviously, not even remotely on the list.

• Gremlins (1984)

• National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

• Home Alone

EPISODE 4

Before the opening credit: Yet another snippet from the ill-advised “Lez Girls” production (because, really, do you really want to see the same old story on a movie when you can actually just go get your “L-Word” DVD of Season 1 and watch that instead?), this time of the auditions for who would be playing Jesse, who essentially is the barely-fictionalized Jenny. Thus we have scenes of actresses auditioning for what we are made to believe is a very coveted role (although I mostly think this is just Jenny’s version of reality).

In this episode:

Kit is taking up self-defense classes since she got naturally spooked by the robbery in the last episode (although I still think she should improve her cash-handling skills first…and why does she not have security as well?!?). That entails, of course, the whole gang going with her, meaning Tina, Bette, Jodi (but no sign of Tom anywhere), Alice, Jenny, Shane, Shane’s missing vagina (don’t look at me, I don’t write this sh*t). Where, pray tell is baby Angelica? My only answer is, I don’t know. And anyway, being the self-sufficient that she is, she probably already knew self-defense, despite dialogue to the contrary between her parents Bette and Tina.

During the class, a series of conversations ensue: Jenny finds out Natalie Portman passed on the Jesse/Jenny starring role in her “Lez Girls” movie (which is kind of funny for me, because the likelihood of the actual Natalie Portman starring in an all-lesbian sex-fest movie is about as likely as the actual Natalie Portman actually guest-starring in “The L-Word”. But namedrop Christina Ricci and it would have been a whole different ballgame) and is so unhappy about it she hits Tina a bit too harshly. Bette finds out Tina had a hot date and one-night stand with the surgically augmented heart surgeon and hits Jodi a bit too harshly. Moreover, Bette and Tina find themselves partners in a demo of a self-defense move, and you can literally feel the sexual tension oozing from their pores. What are the odds Jodi will be out of the picture anytime soon? Shane is called by the instructor for a demo and this obviously does not bode well for the trying-to-be-celibate-lothario.

Meanwhile, Alice’s lack of supervision on her website, OurChart.com encourages Max to sneak in her two-cents’ worth about FTM transsexuals. Alice eventually finds out, reprimands her, reluctantly offers her a guest column, but not without further alienating Max by telling her it’s a lesbian website, not a website for transsexuals. Alice’s unhappiness about Max’s guerilla-type tactics are soon forgotten when a couple of military investigators barge into her apartment, intent on proving that Tasha is gay simply by association with the very out Alice. Visibly ruffled by the visit, Alice tries to de-gay-ify her apartment more so as to pass for straight. This, in turn, freaks Tasha out, sending her on a rampage and a midnight visit to her uncooperative legal counsel, who, as it turns out, is not only uncooperative, but uninformed, in the dark and severely homophobic. An imlied confrontation with aforementioned legal counsel and his wife though has implied a change of heart for said legal counsel when he ends up on Alice’s doorstep talking to Tasha, who,as it happens, has spent the night with Alice. In her room. Buck nekkid. I don’t know how these things work, but if Tasha is supposed to be lying low, why is she spending the night with the gayest woman in LA?

Meanwhile, Bette has her hands full with a complaint from an art student about another art student who staged a performance art session involving a fake gun infront of Jodi’s class. Jodi is unfazed, Bette is annoyed to reprimand her and skip a possibly dirty night with her (well, only as I gleaned from Jodi’s gestures, which,in retrospect, look really dirty. Still not feelin’ the heat between these two. They have about as much heat as two ajumas talking about the weather).

Tina, on the other hand, is busy trying to keep her sanity while her dickhead boss and Jenny argue about which actor should play Jesse/Jenny, showing complete control even as Jenny, high on nicotine gum, spits her gum on the table, and while Jenny’s new assistant, Adele tries to ever so carefully insinuate herself into the proceedings (Points for Tina for looking hot as these proceedings are going on).

Shane, meanwhile, is failing miserably, at this celibacy thing. We can see this from her seeing naked women all around where there is none. Kit’s one-liners and pie don’t help either. To take her mind off sex, she invites Jenny to a new club (this two look good together as friends…together they almost seem…normal, somehow), She-Bar, owned by a couple of party-loving lesbians, Dawn Denbo (Catherine Keener) and her lover, Cindy (this is actually their introduction to anyone who cares to listen – and it never gets old, and it always makes me feel like laughing hysterically everytime I hear it).

At the She-Bar:

Bette and Jodi arrive, followed by Kit, then Tom, then Shane, Jenny, Jenny’s assistant, starlet Nikki Stevens (Kate French) the one replacing Natalie Portman (apparently) as the star of Jenny’s “Lez Girls”. Tina and her heart-surgeon date are already there, apparently already having fun. There, they meet Dawn Denbo and her lover, Cindy who, as I already mentioned, introduces herself as “Dawn Denbo and this is my lover, Cindy”.

Bette, Kit and Jodi already find the She-Bar scene old and try to leave, but Bette needs to stay behind since she promised Shane she would not leave without her. Shane, meanwhile, is busy shagging Dawn Denbo and her lover, Cindy in the VIP lounge, so I guess it’s safe to say that that celibacy thing is over. Jenny and starlet Nikki are busy trying to like each other, courtesy of Adele, who arranged the meeting between them. Meanwhile, Tina is hiding from her party-loving heart-surgeon date, realizing that She-Bar and partying is so not her scene as well (three words: Angelica Porter-Kennard. Who must already be racking up issues to discuss with her therapist once she’s old enough to afford her own). This is where Bette finds her, in one of the thinly-veiled rooms, where she confesses her aversion of bar-hopping and partying to Bette. This confession leads to an unexpected, long-awaited kiss that is very much worth it all throughout.

Notes:

1. Lez Girls – How do you pronounce it anyway? It’s spelled Lez Girls, so I assume you pronounce it with the /z/ but everyone keeps pronouncing it the French way, like Les Girls (like Les Miserables), so I’m confused. Then again, it’s not even appropriately titled. If it were, then Tina and her dickhead boss would have less of that “it’s-not-marketable!” arguments.

2. Angelica – where art thou?!?

Before the opening credits, Alice does a voiceover of having dreamed of Jenny’s script being filmed a la Charlie’s Angel style, with Alice as Farrah Fawcett, Helena as Kate Jackson and Shane as Jaclyn Smith, while Tina is playing the butch Bosley part and Bette is playing Charlie. Their mission: to find out, with the help of their gaydar guns, whether Jenny is lesbian, bisexual or straight.

In this episode:

Shane has sworn off sex. But Shane keeping her promise to swear off sex is about as likely as Bette keeping her promise to be monogamous, so we will see.

Anyway, Shane’s solution to keeping her promise to be celibate involves going early to the gym (although just seeing her in the gym and in a locker-room full of naked women instantly gives you the idea that this is not exactly a bright idea), meditation, a lot of video games and rebuffing every woman who will hit on her. Naturally her fellow gym-going friends, Tina and Alice, find her a freak, while Jenny just cannot be bothered, since she has a new assistant, creepy Adele, who dotes on her, even while they are in the gym.

Meanwhile, Max contemplates ditching lesbians and going for gay men instead,with the help of her encouraging assistant, while Helena has gone from frightened mouse to confident jailhouse mama with the advent of her tax-evading protector, lover and cellmate.

On the other side of the divide, Bette meets up with Jodi at the Planet hoping to wriggle her way out of meeting Jodi’s friends, but Jodi successfully cons her into joining the weekend getaway. Tina is visibly impressed (and probably slightly jealous) that Jodi can push perpetually alpha female Bette into attending a gathering she did not like. Tina’s impressed demeanor turns into horror as friends Alice and Shane, later joined by Jodi, are surfing Alice’s OurChart.Com social networking site for possible dates with lesbians other than Tina’s ex, Bette. Jodi and Tina bond over Nancy Drew (read a couple of those, but I’m more a Hardy Boys fan – goes to show you the kind of butch preoccupations I had when I was younger), while Jodi and Tom, her interpreter bond over Tom’s crush on Max. Why are Jodi and Tina in the same room? Jodi is doing a podcast for Alice.

Tasha is still being investigated for possible homosexual conduct (visions of “But I’m a Cheerleader” scenes with lesbians screaming “I’m a homosexual! I’m a homosexual” swim in my head), with a very uncooperative legal counsel.

Alice, meanwhile is doing the podcast with a very enthusiastic Jodi, who teaches them how to use their hands for dirty talk (I feel so dirty just recapping that). Shane is a very attentive pupil, until Kit reminds her she’s supposed to have sworn off sex forever. Kit, meanwhile, is not at all that happy when Alice becomes too personal about her sister Bette and Jodi’s sex life (wouldn’t you be?!? I certainly as hell don’t want to know about my sib’s sex life…that’s like finding out your parents have a healthy sex life. Eeeww.).

Bette joins Jodi for their weekend getaway with Jodi’s friends, only to realize that Jodi’s friends are a bunch of a**holes who embarass her with their knowledge of Bette and Jodi’s the-night-before sex, throw her into the river for refusing to play football with them (does Bette look like she plays games that involve a lot of running and grunting?), accuse her of being a snob, and of making up stories about her sister being robbed so she can get out of this hellish weekend getaway. Bette holds her own with Jodi’s friends (although you kind of wonder why they are Jodi’s friends to begin with), although you can see that it takes a supreme amount of control for her not to implode and explode at the same time infront of these friends. I know these scenes are totally relevant to the brewing plot involving Tina, but I just think they’re unnecessary and totally better off being fastforwarded on your DVD player.

Anyway, Kit gets robbed and that gives Bette the excuse to fly out of there. Kit is devastated, since apparently it’s the whole week’s earnings that the robbers had managed to rob from her at gunpoint (I think the writers here are just lazy – I’ve worked in a restaurant and I know no smart manager ever stashes the week’s earnings away in a safe inside the restaurant for robbers to conveniently steal after. Sigh. What this show usually lacks: writers who know their sh*t), but with her sister and Jodi comforting her, Kit manages to survive the ordeal with nary a sip of alcohol.

Meanwhile, Tina manages to snag a date and a one-night stand with a heart surgeon whose augmented breasts effectively foreshadow that we won’t be seeing much of the heart surgeon soon.

Helena finally gets out of prison courtesy of her mother (played by the gorgeous Holland Taylor) and plans her own permanent vacation with her tax evading prison daddy somewhere in the Pacific.

1. Tina playing butch Bosley – genius! Throwback to the baby butch Randy Dean days of “Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love”

2. Charlie’s Angel homage – Fun! Definitely way better than Jenny’s carnival-centric stories (whatever happened to those anyway?!? On second thought, I’m glad that’s not the one being filmed!). Is it me, or is this season full of homages?

3. Still no baby Angelica. I wonder where Angelica is as Bette goes off on her weekend getaway with Jodi and Tina gets her one-night stand with the breast-augmented heart surgeon? Obviusly not at Kit’s since she just got robbed, and of course you can’t trust Shane or Alice since they can’t seem to get their sh*t together. Angelica is one self-sufficient little kid!