…and it looks pretty darn nifty. Check it out.

Ahhh, the internet. The perfect place to embarrass yourself, and let the whole world know it. So without further a due, I purchased a new beard trimmer a little while ago; and it came with a eyebrow trimmer adapter. So, I thought to myself , “Self, why not try this nifty eyebrow debushafing apparatus” — and that’s exactly what I did. Well, the results were not so sexy. The guard slipped from 4 to 1 and… well, here are the results.

Yeah, I look like a demented freak — like Whoopi Goldberg, well, if she was white and had a beard. Just thought I would share my misery with the world; and for the love of God, don’t trim your eyebrows. ENJOY!!!

If it were not for QQ’s presentation, I would not have known Skype has changed tremendously since my last use two years ago. The interface and texture look more professional and the new functions like the ‘Share Screen’ are very interesting. I still have the exclusive video of her laughable parody to Skype’s call-in music. I’m sorry – I can’t post it up here – NSFW.

Great moves she had there but let’s not perish her image especially when internship commences next week. And we all know most likely, employers get curious sometimes. (:

Pat Law’s lecture let us in on a lot of exclusive websites. I have taken note of them – feel free to browse through:

Tweetica: http://tweetica.com

Twitalyzer: http://twitalyzer.com

Twitter Grader: http://twitter.grader.com

Alexa: http://www.alexa.com

URLfan: http://urlfan.com

Compete: http://compete.com

Popuri: http://www.popuri.us/

Wefollow: http://wefollow.com/

Tweetizen: http://tweetizen.com

MrTweet: http://mrtweet.net/

Twellow: http://www.twellow.com/

Muck Rack: http://muckrack.com/

Media on Twitter:  http://www.mediaontwitter.com/

Twitterfall: http://twitterfall.com/

Monitter: http://monitter.com/

Hashtag: http://search.twitter.com/

Daymix: http://daymix.com/

Whostalkin: http://whostalkin.com

SocialMention: http://socialmention.com/

MonitorThis: http://monitorthis.info/

BoardTracker: http://v2.boardtracker.com/

Omgili: http://omgili.com/

Technorati: http://technorati.com/

Google Blogsearch: http://blogsearch.google.com

Icerocket: http://icerocket.com/

Ping.sg: http://ping.sg

Blogarama: http://www.blogarama.com

PBWIKI: http://pbworks.com

Netivities: http://www.thedailyinfluence.com/

Google Reader: http://www.google.com/reader

Google Alexis: http://www.google.com/alerts

Alltop: http://www.alltop.com

Delicious: http://www.delicious.com

–

Now, that’s A LOT of links. Credits to Pat Law (and to me for painstakingly stressing my eyes over the two-megapixels pictures to figure out them).

Just in case you missed my last post about it, here it is.

So, it happened again last night. At around 4 o’clock, I saw it again hovering over my entertainment center again; however, this time it actually picked up my home theater receiver about 12 inches off my entertainment center. It happened so quick that I, again, thought there was actually a burglar in my room. I actually screamed out at the top of my lungs, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!” I really don’t know what I was thinking. If it really was a thief, I probably would have scared him to death. A voice screaming out of a dark room at him. He probably would have shot me. Well, it wasn’t a thief — well, one that was still alive any way. Just like before, the god damn thing split in half, and shot out into a mist and disappeared. Except this time, it dropped my receiver onto my entertainment center, with a large thud. Needless to say, I ran downstairs panicked — to check to make sure someone didn’t just run out of my room. Of coarse there was no one there.

I KNOW this sounds crazy. HELL, it is crazy. Is there really a ghost in my room? Is it possible I was have a waking dream or some other reason explanation. Sure, I freely admit that is entirely possible. I do indeed sleep walk and also talk in my sleep (what a catch, huh ladies) — well, both of these time, this thing just seemed absolutely real. Oh yeah, and when I ran to my entertainment center, the receiver was crooked. So maybe the more important question is, why does this shadow lady want my stereo equipment. I’ll be sure to ask her the next time I see her.

HOLY CRAP. Yesterday was a HUGE day on Blogenstein, with almost 400 hits. Welcome all newcomers, and thank you Jaime and Kevin for your tweets. You guys are going to make me famous:) Now back to work. I got a whole lot on my plate now.

… is to never be kissed? Click here to see one of the best practical jokes in a long time. BRAVO, MR. FINCHER.

MAN, that cover is saucy.

Don’t forget to run to McDonald’s tomorrow, between 6 to 10 am, and get you some FREE Hotcakes and Sausage. Hey, I’ll be going to as many as I possibly can. IT’S FREE PEOPLE!!! And later, like Ronald up there, I will be running to the bathroom. I can’t wait. It will be awesome. See you there.

UPDATE:

Well, I got there at 9:30. I didn’t know that many people even lived in Milwaukee. Suffice it to say, they ran out of hotcakes; and they were telling everyone that a truck was coming in 30 minutes, which was coincidentally the time the promotion ended. So basically, they were telling everyone to wait, but they were not guaranteeing that the cakes were going to get there on time within the free hotcakes and sausage window. Funny enough though, there were plenty of sausage patties; but they wouldn’t give those out unless they came with the cakes — as if doing so would destroy the space time continuum or some such nonsense. There was literally a hundred people sitting on the floor waiting for their free pancakes at this point. All of them hungry and ANGRY. One little misstep and seriously, there would have been a riot; so I went home and made my own pancakes. Ah, they tasted better anyway. GOOD JOB McDONALD’S.

]]> http://jeremyrscott.wordpress.com/2009/11/05/so-i-watched-the-day-of-the-dead-remake-a-few-minutes-ago/ Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:47:52 +0000 jeremyrscott http://jeremyrscott.wordpress.com/2009/11/05/so-i-watched-the-day-of-the-dead-remake-a-few-minutes-ago/

Yeah, I am a fool; but I saw it on TMC’s On Demand service under the category “SPLATTER DAY” and thought I would give it a chance. HOLY CRAP, this thing was the worst piece of excrement I have seen in a long while. Where do I even begin.

1. THE ZOMBIES

Forget the whole tired argument about the walking dead vs. the running dead, in this movie you get zombies with SUPER POWERS. These things will jump out of a ten story building and land on their feet, sprinting. They’ll jump 20 feet in the air and charge at you at super human speeds. They hang from rafters, clean the flesh of of an entire body and leave the bones clean in under a minute. It’s like the first zombie was bitten by a radioactive spider. And then their transformation HAHAHA. One minute an infected person will be talking to a family member. Next, after staring off into space for a minute or so, instantly transforms into the undead — COMPLETE with rotting flesh and dead eyes. How convenient, HAHAHA.

2. THE ACTING

Day of the Dead collects some of the worst actors on the planet, and gives them a script that must have been written by a kindergartner — right before nap time:

BUD CRAIN: Sweet spear.
SALAZAR: You see a black man with a sharp stick and it’s supposed to be a spear?

And this golden moment.

SALAZAR: [takes machete] This shit right here was made for me. Uh-huh. Whoo.
[raises machete in the air]
SALAZAR: By the power of Grayskull. Yeah.
SARA BOWMAN: Okay. Stop fucking around and start loading the stuff up.
SALAZAR: How long are you gonna keep cussing at me? You see this? This is a machete. Unappreciative ass. See if I save your ass again.

Yeah, with great stuff like that, those flesh eaters don’t stand a chance. Even the great Ving Rames, who’s in this thing for about five whole minutes, is reduced to a legless zombie that barks like a dog. Oh yes, and special recognition to Nick Cannon as Salazar (WHO CAME UP WITH THESE NAMES); for setting the African America culture back 50 years. Nick, you would make Al Jolson blush.

3. BUD CAIN THE ZOMBIE

OH BOY, I have saved the best for last. After proclaiming to be a vegetarian, Bud Cain is bitten by the legless, barking Ving Rames and turns into a zombie. For some reason, though, old Bud doesn’t try to munch on his healthy pals. Only the exact lines of dialog can do this scene justice:

SALAZAR: [about Bud] This shit is ridiculous. I mean, why Thriller over here ain’t trying to eat us?
SARA BOWMAN: He’s a vegetarian.
SALAZAR: That’s the best explanation you can come up with?
SARA BOWMAN: You got a better one?
SALAZAR: All I’m saying, as long he don’t try to mistake me for a soy bean burger, we’re gonna be all right.

YES, that’s right kids. Old Bud wasn’t hungry for fresh human flesh because he was a vegetarian — A VEGETARIAN. Are you kidding me. This is their pathetic attempt at referencing a brilliant character moment in Romero’s classic movie. In that movie, we had a zombie named “BUB”, who was exhaustively trained to not eat the living by his loving mentor, Dr.Logan. But HEY, that would take, you know, minutes to cover in a film. So they just coped out and came up with a completely preposterous reason for Bud not to feast on Sara Bowman’s bizarre, over sized forehead. Bravo Day of the Dead, BRAVO.

So there you have it folks. Take my advice. If you’re surfing through The Movie Channel’s On Demand menu and come across Day of the Dead, stab your eyes out with a ball point pen. Trust me, you will have way more fun than if you actually watched this crap fest.

… GODS I TELL YOU. Just check out these amazing retro posters they just released to promote the dvd release of UP. Look and be amazed.

I only wish they would have used these in the actual movie campaign. They sure beat the heck out of the typical photoshoped heads that plague most posters nowadays. ENJOY!

Ok,  just a quick post. Yesterday, I had over 70 visitors. Thanks for all the new looky loos. I hope one of you can get me a DVD copy of Donald Duck 4. Anyway, the real reason for this post is for this ridiculous fact. Yesterday, the highest number of people searching google who ended up on my blog were looking for…

…”puppies in a pickle costume”

HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Hot damn, I love the internet.

Hello, my name is Jeremy Scott; and I am a recovering Star Wars nerd.

What is spawning this confession. Well, the other day a friend of mine sent out this ridiculous video of this new age, yoga instructor using Star Wars as a euphemism to rope hopeless nerds into her yogatastic lifestyle. I mean, some really ridiculous hooeey about channeling the “force” in your body, or some such nonsense. I would post it, but I will do you a favor and save you the time. So, I made a comment about how if I didn’t already hate Star Wars,  this would make me HATE Star Wars. AND that lead to a couple of my friends confronting me in return emails. I mean, I could hear their eyes rolling in their email responses HAHAHA. So I figured I would just write a blog about it, to further explain how I feel about the trilogy now. Well, before I knew it, this blog turned into an open letter to a guy that I use to hold in pretty high regard; but over the coarse of the last 10 years or so, a growing disappointment in me began to fester into a deep seeded resentment. So here it is, my open Letter to George Lucas.

Hi George,

You don’t know me, but you had a huge influence on my childhood, and your movies really helped shape the man that I am today. Star Wars was the first movie I ever saw in the theater. My mother took me to see it when I was 3, and ever since I have been a huge fan of not only the movie, but a diligent fan of yours. I still remember how much I laughed when Han chased those lunkhead Stromtroopers down the Death Star corridor, only to run away terrified when the Stormtroopers realized they were being chased by one guy with a blaster. When I got home that afternoon, I ripped the metal legs off of my little childrens table and ran around the house brandishing it like a lightsaber. Luke Skywalker was my idol and he inspired me to want to be a beacon of decency and justice when I grew up. Hey, like I said, I was 3.

It was a great feeling; a completely pure, innocent bit of nostalgia that I never want to let go. So I devoted most of my adult life trying to hold onto those memories with an iron fist; consequently, spending all of my free time and disposable income chasing down action figures and later even buying expensive prop replicas.

Seriously George, I alone probably put all of your kids through college, with the thirty plus years I spent happily buying all of your merchandise — AND I am just one guy. You literally have millions of fans across the globe who have probably given you just as much money over the years. I would think this would make you a very gracious man. Someone who would want to thank his fans for all the loyal years of support by preserving the original films that sparked their imaginations in the first place. Well, not you Mr. Lucas.

Over the past 15 years, you have gone out of your way to destroy your precious little trilogy; and at first, I defended you. “It was his movies”, I would say. “He has the right to make any changes he wants.” Well George, the simple fact is these are not your movies any more. They belong to the world now. They belong to every fan who saw them in the theater when they originally premiered. They belong to every kid who has spent every dime of their allowance on your action figures. They are OUR movies now MR. Lucas, and you have a responsibility to preserve these films for future generations — and you are not oblivious to this simple fact. I have read countless interviews with you making statements about this very subject, referring to classic film preservation; in fact, you were particularly vocal about your disdain for colorizing  Laurel and Hardy movies. Well how the heck is that any different then adding a bunch of creatures in Mos Eisley, or replacing all of the iconic imagery on the final attack of the Death Star. If anything,  it is worse because now you are actually fiddling with story changes. Face it George, you are being a hypocrite; and you need to wake up. Not to mention the fact that you didn’t make these movies all by yourself. A lot of hard work and creativity went into making those beautiful, ground breaking effects. You are not only hurting the fans with this hatchet job, but you are also hurting all of the people that made Star Wars what it is. All the people whose sweat and tenacity not only made Star Wars possible but made you a BOAT LOAD of money.

The fact that you now say that the original movies were just “work prints” and that they no longer even exist — that use to really upset me. Well, it doesn’t anymore. It has just made me completely indifferent. I am not one of those idiots who go on web forums and say things like “George Lucas raped my childhood”. I don’t really hold any animosity towards you, but you have in deed really disappointed me, George. I use to hold you in a very high regard, but now I see you for what you have become — a snake oil salesman. You have become a tired, old man, who’s creative spark has been long extinguished. A pitiful shell of a man, who now survives by dissecting the tattered remains of your former glory and selling them piece by piece to your ravenous fans; who have been buying your tainted wares for so long, they wouldn’t know how to survive without them. Don’t mistake their blind devotion for respect though, George. They hate you. They hate the man that you have become and, they hate what you are doing to their favorite movies. You are in fact nothing more than a drug pusher, and these sorry sacks need their fix to survive. I really pity you.

It is especially ironic given that your first feature length movie was THX-1138. A movie that was particularly harsh on the commercial culture that we all lovingly embrace. You understood then the evils of a society that equated happiness with owning a lot of worthless possessions over making personal connections with another human being. Well George, you have become that oppressor — that “evil empire”. You have become everything that you use to fight against when you were a fledgling director. Congratulations, you are now an integral part of that system. I hope you don’t choke on the irony because it is pretty darn thick.

You know, I should really thank you though, George. You made me realize what a horrible trap nostalgia can be. If you spend your whole life trying to recapture your lost youth, you are not only going to never appreciate what you have now but how you can make your life better, NOW. Things were not better ten or twenty years ago, they were just different — and different is good. New experiences let us thrive and keep us interesting. I now realize that. It is a shame that it took your douchebaggery, Lucas, to realize this simple fact.

So that’s it pal. The party’s over. Your indignant treatment of my favorite childhood movies have made me completely indifferent to you and Star Wars in general. The films that I grew up with are gone. In your own words, they don’t even exist anymore. You killed them. And I’m OK with that. I have my memories and I do not need your action figures or expensive bobbles to keep them. Memories are free, and more importantly, I am free.

I hope it was worth it,

Jeremy R. Scott

Former Star Wars Fanatic

So that’s it folks. That sums up how I feel about Star Wars now. Maybe one of these days George might wake up and realize what he has turned into, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Before I sign off, one last piece of advice for the disciples out there. If you are unhappy with George’s treatment of Star Wars (and I know most of you are),  STOP BUYING HIS CRAP. No amount of complaining on post boards or cursing his name will ever get the message to George. There is the only one way you are going to get through to him. If the money stops rolling in, I guarantee those classic movies will come out faster than you can say Jack Robinson. I know it will be VERY hard at first, but trust me. You will survive. And, more importantly, STAR WARS will survive.

But hey, go ahead and buy your 52nd Luke Skywalker action figure. I really don’t care anymore anyway.

Hello everyone. Today’s post is a plea for help, and I sincerely hope someone out their can help me.

OK, I have been collecting the Disney Treasures DVDs since the first Mickey Mouse in Color set came out way back in 2000, wow that was almost 10 years ago. Well, last year Disney, in all of it’s mighty wisdom, decided to cut WAY back on production of the Treasure DVD sets. That’s fine and dandy, but one of those sets was the FORTH and FINAL DVD in the Donald Duck collection. Disney, why on earth would you sell a set with one of your biggest characters, in such short supply — especially when it is the final volume in a four volume set. Seriously, it just boggles the mind.

Well, as you probably can guess by now, I was never able to get a copy. What makes this even more infuriating is the fact that I saw a copy in Target the day it came out, but I decided to buy the 4rth season of Lost on Blu-Ray instead (funny enough, another Disney title). I just didn’t have the money for both, and I figured I could pick it up next week. Well guess what, UH UH. It was long gone next week, and I have never even gotten close to another copy. I even went to Disneyland to find one… AND I LIVE IN MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN! To further exacerbate the issue, people went out of their way to horde every copy they could find and have been reselling them for over 100 dollars. I seriously saw someone selling 30 of these things in an auction on ebay the other day.

Folks, I am a HUGE Animation nerd. Not only do I have all of the other Treasure sets, but I have a whole collection of classic stuff — from Lonney Tunes, Tex Avery and classic Fleischer Popeye. The fact I can’t get a copy of this really depresses me. I know there are a lot more important things to worry about in the world; but Heck, it is the little things in this world that keep us all going. Not to mention, my absolute favorite Disney cartoon ever is on this set — “Trick or Treat”. It’s this amazing little short were Donald is a Halloween mizer who refuses to give his Trick or Treating nephews any goodies. Eventually a real Witch gets involved the the story, with hilarious results. It even has it’s own theme song that TO THIS DAY I still sing in my head when I am feeling down.

Trick or Treat

Trick or Treat

Trick or Treat for Halloween

When ghost and goblins by the score

Ring the bell at your front door

You’d better not be stingy or

Your nightmares might come true hoo hoo hoo

So that is why I am posting today folks. I hope that there is a kind soul out there, who after reading this post, wants to help me out. I would gladly pay you a fair price for the DVD. I would even be more than willing to offer you a few prints of my artwork and a copy of my newest book The Lava is a Floor. HECK, I will even dedicate my next book to you.

SERIOUSLY, I WILL DEDICATE MY NEXT BOOK TO YOU.

SO PLEASE, if there is anyone out there with access to a copy of the Chronological Donald 4 – Disney Treasure DVD, you would forever be my hero and make this 33 year old child a very happy boy.

Email me or post a comment if you can help me find my holy grail. I promise I won’t fart in your general direction.

Every October I get a little carried away when it comes to pumpkin carving.

Here’s what I made for a web contest in 2007…

… and this is what I did last year.

Well, this year I was feeling a bit nostalgic for one of my favorite movies from my childhood, Little Shop of Horrors. So without further adieu, here is my pumpkin interpretation of Audrey 2.

ENJOY.

OK, look. I’m not typically one of those grammar or spelling Nazi’s; but when I saw this on Yahoo’s front page, I nearly laughed myself into a coma. Look in the bottom right corner.

Yes Yahoo, that’s “BRADY BUNCH” not “BRADY BRUNCH”. Well, unless the CW just announced their new fall show — “The Brady Brunch”, where Mike Brady invites a new hobo into his house every week for brunch with his whole family — only to be brunch for his whole family. You know, CW might have a hit on their hands with that idea.

Did you know that the Home Shopping Network posts their broadcasts on YouTube to sell their crap. Yeah, I had no idea either. Apparently, 24 hour broadcasts were not enough. ANYWAY, you wanna buy a 200 dollar Nintendo Wii system for 330 dollars? Sounds like a good deal, huh. Well they do include over 20 cheap plastic clip-on accessories for the “Wiimote” that really don’t do a darn thing — or do they? Skip ahead on the attached video to the 5 minute mark, and watch how this cheap shyster recovers from a little accident. I can’t believe HSN had the gall to put this video up thinking it would entice buyers HAHAHA.

Anda tentu ingin agar blog anda tampak cantik dan indah. ada banyak cara untuk melakukannya. salah satunya dengan memasang widget yang cantik dan tampak indah. ada salah satu widget dari popuri.us yang bisa anda dapatkan secara mudah dan gratis. widget ini selain untuk mempercantik blog anda juga berfungsi untuk menampilkan rangking dan backlink blog anda pada google, yahoo, alexa dan technorati.

Ada 2 pilihan warna pada widget ini yaitu hitam (seperti tampak pada blog ini) dan terang. anda bisa memilih salah satu atau keduanya. selain gratis, widget ini juga sangat mudah memasangnya tanpa harus registrasi atau mengunjungi alamat situsnya. Cukup dengan copy paste kodenya dan pasang pada blog anda. berikut kode widget ini.

Untuk warna terang (light) :

<a href=”http://popuri.us” ><img alt=”My Popularity (by popuri.us)” src=”http://popuri.us/widgets/?type=light” /></a>

Untuk warna hitam (dark) :

<a href=”http://popuri.us” ><img alt=”My Popularity (by popuri.us)” src=”http://popuri.us/widgets/?type=dark” /></a>

Silahkan dicoba.

It’s not in theaters, but at least Trick ‘R Treat has finally been released on BLU-RAY  and DVD — just in time for Halloween this year. If you are unaware of all the controversy surrounding this film, I will try to briefly summarize it all for you.

This movie marked the directorial debut of writer Michael Dougherty, who among other things wrote the screen play X-Men 2. It was completed and was suppose to be released WAY BACK in 2007. They even took the time to produced some pretty intriguing trailers, but for some reason Warner Brothers decided to sit on Treat and not release it — theatrically or otherwise. There were even toys and a making of book that were produced — ISN’T THAT RIDICULOUS. Well, this peaked a lot of interest in the cyber geek community. Eventually, small screenings were held here and there over the past couple years that generated great word of mouth for the picture. Treat hadn’t even been released and already it was gaining a following and was developing a cult status. Nerds across the internet were haling this as one of the greatest horror pictures ever and a triumphant return of theatrical horror anthology not seen since… well George Romero’s Creepshow in the early 80’s. Of course, I considered this all to be an over exaggeration and ridiculous hype for a movie I would never get a chance to view; but I have to admit, the Halloween fanatic in me really, REALLY wanted to see it. Well, I have to say it was worth the wait.

The movie is just so much fun. It turns out it really isn’t an anthology movie per say. There are essentially 5 different tales in the movie (from everything involving pranks, poisoning, stabbings and spiritual retribution), but they are woven together in the picture like Quentin Tarentino did so masterfully in Pulp Fiction. Seriously, it is a real treat watching all of the stories come together, with plenty of surprises by the end and a splash of dark comedy.

It also doesn’t rely on over the top gore or easy high tension scares that have unfortunately become common place in today’s horror films. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of scares in the movie and plenty of murder and mayhem. There is even a pretty dark segment involving mentally challenged kids wearing some of the creepiest Halloween costumes ever. Nothing is sacred in this movie, and I loved every second of it. Treat also has a really creepy character that pops up sporadically through the movie to help bring the stories together named Sam, basically a retake on the Celtic concept of Samhain. Take my advice, if this kid shows up on your doorstep this Halloween, make sure you give him plenty of candy.

Trick ‘R Treat even has a pretty terrific cast including Brian Cox and Anna Paquin. My tip of the hat has to go to Dylan Baker, though, who plays a wound up school principal with a dark secret. If you ever wanted to see Stephen Colbert freak out and kill people, this maybe your only chance.

Anyway, if you are a fan horror films or Halloween in general, you should really check out Trick ‘R Treat. Trust me. It will have you dressing your 5 year old kid like good ol’ Sammy to scare your next door neighbors.

This summer I have been trying to catch up on shows that have somehow flown over my radar. Dexter was one of the shows. So, as I made my way into the second season of this delightfully macabre show, my mouth began to water with delight. No, it wasn’t the righteous killing or the twisted plot — it was those darn cucumber sandwiches. Watching Special Agent Frank Lundy constantly chow down on those things really began to drive me nuts, so finally I headed off to the grocery store. SOOO, my fateful Blogenstein followers, today I give you ambrosia from the gods — my recipe for Dexter’s Yummy Cucumber Sandwiches!!!

OK, first the ingredients. To make these simple, yet elegant sandwiches you will need these delicious items:
– Cucumbers (DUH)
– White Bread
– A Package of your Favorite Cream Cheese
– A Packet of Dry Italian Dressing Seasoning

First, place the packet of cream cheese in a bowl and beat with a hand mixer until it’s nice and soft. Add a bit of milk to it until it has a silky, sooth texture. Now add the Italian seasonings. Everybodies tastes are different, so add it in small doses and taste until you are happy. I like about half of the packet in mine. Mix the seasoning thoroughly into the cream cheese.

Now we can slice the cucumber with a large serrated knife. Dexter would approve. I know mine looks like a wrinkled pickle, but it came from someones garden; and I assure you it is very tasty. One full size cucumber will make up to six or seven sandwiches. If you want to be fancy (and who doesn’t), scrape the side of your cucumber before you slice it with a fork. It will give each slice’s edge a nice decorative look.

Now grab a slice of bread and spread some of the cream cheese mixture on one side. A little goes a long way here, so don’t get carried away. After you spread the mixture, layout your cucumber slices. One layer will do fine, and a slight overlap is key to a yummy sandwich. Once you are done with your cucumbers, grab another slice of bread, spread some more cream cheese and place it on top.

The next couple steps are not completely necessary; but remember, we want to be fancy. Now to Dexter’s delight, take a nice big kitchen knife and slice off the edges of the bread. A nice big knife works the best because you can press strait down on the knife and slice each edge off with one stroke.

Now you can slice the sandwich in thirds or just in half like I have. When you are done, arrange them nicely on a platter and makes some more. A little sprinkle of fresh dill on top ads a nice zest to each sandwich.

So there you have it, the perfect treat to munch on as Dexter claims yet another microscopic slide for his collection.

As Julia would say,
BONE APPETIT!!!

Yep, I turned 33 today. And this is the birthday card my mother sent me. Just wanted to share.

Oh yeah, and I opened it to find a savings bond. I swear LOL.
Vomiting in my mouth,
Jeremy

It is with great sadness that I acknowledge the passing of an old, dear friend… my desk chair. You see, Matilda has been with me for a long, long time. The moment I purchased her from Lowes nearly 10 years ago, she was a beacon in this cold dark world — and a soft spot to rest my rear while I toiled in my office. Every boring design project I muddled through to pay the bills, you were there. Every video that I edited for Taste Like Chicken, you were there. You were even there when I took my first baby steps on the world wide web and developed my first website.

Matilda, you were always there for me during the bests of times and the worst of times; therefore, I found it very difficult to let go of you. For the past year, I have kept you on life support — tightening a screw or taping up a tear when I needed to. Sure your pleather covering was tearing here and there, your padding was worn away (so when I sat on you it felt like sitting on a diving board) and your once responsive hydraulics have frozen years ago; but I still loved you. Well, I am affraid it is time to let you go.

So I went out and purchased this new chair yesterday. Sure she doesn’t have your sexy black finish Matilda or your high pillowed back to rest my head on — but she is very comfortable, has no scuff wheels and has a bit of a saucy disposition. I think I will call her Charlotte.

I will miss you always Matilda. If anyone wants her, she is in the garbage can in the back.

WOW, hard to believe, huh. It was 10 years ago today when Star Wars – Episode 1 hit the theaters. Yeah, the movie wasn’t great; but I still hold a soft spot for it. It came at an interesting part of my life. I just graduated from college a few days earlier, and I just started working as a designer (in what turned out to be one heck of a mind numbing job) at a now defunct department store. So to celebrate this milestone, I spent all of 10 minutes reading sycophantic head cases venting there frustration with George and his 500 million dollar flop via online forums. I’m surprised I lasted 10 minutes. This one post from a JediFonger pretty much sums up the majority of the posts I read:

have to chip in here. i saw TPM in the theaters for 16 full times =). and perhaps hundreds of times after when i bought the collector’s item widescreen VHS + the eventual DVD.

i can safely say that it is no good. i mean, i wanted to like it so badly that i spent so much time&money invested in this franchise. i just thought that maybe if i just watched it 1 more time, some would pop up… but it was the film that dislodged me from being a bigger SW fan than i am now (which is a discontented one).

WOW Fonger, you think it was a bad movie; so you only saw it 16 times in the theater — that means you spent over 200 dollars watching a movie you deemed unwatchable. And that doesn’t even account for all the money you most likely spent on action figures, toys and other paraphernalia for a flick you consider to be “no good”. Wew man, it’s a good thing you didn’t sort of like it because then you would of had to sell your mother to an organ bank; so you could have seen it 30 more times. You know what JediFonger, I really hate shoving a moltant, hot poker up my ass while chewing on broken glass soaked in antifreeze; so I think I will only do it 25 times before I go top bed tonight. Thank you JediFonger, for making me realize that sometimes it is best to leave my rose colored glasses from yesterday in my sock drawer. Oh yeah, I attached the pic of Natalie because, well, she’s adorable.

OK, I have been putting off this post for a few days now; but before I start this, let me confess this one thing. As much as I like ghost stories, I can honestly say I have never really believed that ghosts exist. In fact, whenever I hear someone tell a story like I am about to, inside my head I am thinking, “whatever jackass.” Well folks, irony tastes like bitter, sour ashes.

Sooo, last week I woke up around 4:30 and could not get back to sleep. I just sat there and stared at my ceiling. For those people that have never visited my place, I live on the top floor of a small, yellow house. It’s more like a loft than a top floor, and is broken down into two small rooms. The back room is my bedroom and the front room is my office, which overlooks the kitchen. Now that that’s out of the way, I am laying there, staring at my ceiling; and I glance forward at my TV. The stove light is on in the kitchen, so everything in my front room is silhouetted in solid black. I was staring at all the little LED lights on all the electronics on my TV stand when someone casually walk up my stairs and knelled down in front of my TV. Like I said, everything in that front room was in silhouette, but I could tell this person was a woman. At this point a lot of things were flying through my head. First off, I am a sleepwalker. I also have waking dreams quite frequently; so when I first saw her, I wasn’t really convinced that I was awake. So, I sat up and just stared at her. I sat there and stared for at least five LONG minutes. The whole time she never turned around, and was intently doing something to one of the items on my TV stand. Finally, I realized I wasn’t imagining this and I was indeed a wake. I began to think that maybe it was one of my roommates, Jackie — but what the hell was she doing in my room at 4:30 in the morning, and what was she doing going through my electronics. What if it was even worse, and this person just broke into my house. They are sure taking there sweet time if they were trying to rob me. They still haven’t turned around, so maybe they didn’t even now that I am sitting here. At this point, being more angry than scared, I got out of bed and slowly walked over to the intruder. AND… this is where the story becomes weird and a little hard to explain. I walked through the doorway and was about 3 feet from my TV when I saw the strangest thing I have ever seen in my life. The intruder never turned around to look at me, but when I got close to her, she put up both of her arms on either side of her pointing directly out — like a T. Then, she actually spit down the middle like a mist. The mist collected around where her shoulders were — SO, at this point all that was left of her were two floating arms. Finally, the mist shot STRAIT OUT through it’s hands and disappeared. This all happened so fast that it took a couple seconds for my brain to process what the hell just happened. I ran to the railing to see if anyone was down in the kitchen, and, of coarse, no one was there.

I can’t really explain what was going through my head at this point. I wasn’t really afraid, I was just kind of confused. I stood there staring down at the kitchen for what felt like an hour just trying to comprehend what I just saw. And finally I had to ask myself, “Did I just see a ghost?” I really don’t know why I did this next, but I went over and touched everything on my entertainment center. I think I was looking for ectoplasm or something(yeah, I have seen Ghostbusers a million times), but I did notice that everything on there was strangely cold; and it was pretty warm in my room. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep the rest of the night; and I almost starting calling people right then. Like I said, this happened a week ago; and I haven’t really slept much since. I have to admit the longer I contemplate what happened, the more disconcerted I feel. I feel like everything I have come to believe in has been turned on it’s head. I don’t want to sound like a drama queen here, but it is not a great feeling.

Anyway, I welcome any comments any of you might have. For dinner I had the Jimmy Johns’ number 10 Hunter’s Club sub (a delicious, rare roast beef sandwich), on french bread with some salt and vinegar chips. And before I went to bed, I watched Kung-Fu Panda.

I didn’t feel like drawing what I saw, so I attached this Carvel ice cream ad instead for DUMPY THE PUMPKIN and WICKY THE WITCH. If I saw Wicky floating in my room that night, I probably would have started bleeding form my eyes. Enjoy.

SANGUIS BIBIMUS!!!!!!

Well kids, I hit 666 on the old eBay user rating this week. Yeah I know, the real number is probably 616; but who really cares anyway. We are talking about a giant red guy, with horns and a pitch fork, torturing souls underground. YEAH, and if you believe that, I own a bridge in New York that’s up for sale. Any who, I only got to enjoy the demonic user rating for about an hour before someone else posted feedback. Luckly, I took a snapshot of it for posterity sake; and of coarse, to share it with all of you.

CORPUS EDIBUS!!!!!!!

My HM Island of Happiness(IOH) guide came today. I’ve always wanted a guide that had all the recipe’s, likes and dislikes of characters, and everything else, since there is sooo much to remember in these games.

Just some pages from the character section of the book. Really helpful. And I had like, absolutely no clue characters from Back to Nature/FOMT visited!!! Yay! Karen and Popuri visit. Popuri and Karen were my first choices when playing Back to Nature, I got the heart level on both up, at the same time, but my rule was, first one to reach red heart I would marry. And Popuri was it. I got Karen on Friends of Mineral Town.

Characters of FOMT.

In the games, the girls you can marry all have rivals, its quite worrying, especially when you walk in on a rival event…

The girls and guys of Island of Hapiness.

The 3(ONLY 3!!) girls from the Wonderful Life game, first on Gamecube, then ported to PS2.

Ain't sure which game this is from... Cute though.

I do recognise these girls from the Save The Homeland game on PS2 which was sadly never released over here…(UK/EU) Some of these girls are in the DS game too actually, like Gwen.(The blonde one with the horse)

These are the girls I picked each time I played the games(haven’t actually finished them all lol, no time sadly… I don’t think I’d have time even if they released a new Pokemon game… which is quite sad…)

 Karen, the other girl I was tempted by on BTN. He father owns the town store. If you don’t marry her, she marries Popuri’s brother Rick lol. He seems nice.

Leia, the mermaid. I picked her in the DS game because she was cuter than most other choices, and not as hard as the Witch(who was impossible to marry cos of the stupid american glitch….). (She’s not as loli in the game as she is in this pic lol) You can only marry her once you have a pond in your farm lol, so she can live there!!!

Melody was my primary choice in Rune Factory. Lovely happy hot springs witch. But I was also tempted by…

Rosetta is my other choice…very cute, but Melody is bubblier. And her heart level raised before Rosetta’s.

My choices for Island of happiness are as follows.

Theres Lanna, who doesn’t move to the island till you unlock the east side of the island. She seems cute, but I don’t know her character yet.

And theres the Witch Princess. Who I wanted to try for on DS, but couldn’t. She is blonde and cute, feisty I know. Choosing on IOH will be tricky…. and girls from previous games visit. Not available to marry sadly.

As for why I choose to marry the girls, and not the guys, even when I have the choice, well thats down to being used to being the guy character when playing the earlier games, and that the girl has less decent choices. I’m just used to being ‘Kyle’(Isn’t that a great name for a guy? Let alone a HM farmer! lol) Gray was alright in BTN, so was Cliff. But otherwise its slim pickings. It’s not different from a girl playing a visual novel/dating sim or eroge, just without the ero(good thing) but while farming! lol

Harvest Moon is a series of EPIC farming games. So-so fun. Addictive as hell. And its got a visual novel-type part too. (The whole finding a wife(/husband, in the later games) thing.) In the game on PS1, Back to Nature, the girl was a more important part, cos when the main character was little he met a girl while he was staying at his grandfathers farm. So he hopes to meet that girl again.
Ever since I’ve been playing them I’ve been the boy character. In the first game I played you could choose gender but not getting married, in the PS1 game you couldn’t choosed the gender, you were just a guy. The DS one you couldn’t choose, but the guys weren’t cute enough anyways…. called my character Kyle(as always) and going for the most Popuri or Karen-like girl. Though I think I was wooing the mermaid on the DS version lol. They released a DS Cute, which was the same game, you just play as a girl instead lol. Theres a few new ones coming out aswell in Japan. All so cute looking… (Bit of a rant I know…)

The above mini-rant is from the latest reply in my Blogchat with xJaymanx.

شما به عنوان صاحب يك  سايت يا يك طراح صفحات وب ، شايد نياز داشته باشيد تا از وضعيت وبلاگ يا سايت خود از نظر رعايت قوانين HTML در طراحی آن،لينك های سالم و شكسته ، رتبه هايی كه سرويس هايی چون Google Rank و Alexa برای وبلاگ يا سايت شما در نظر مي گيرند و موارد مشابه آن،نياز به سرويس ها‍ ی امارگير‍ ی داريد كه قصد من معرفی چندين سرويس است كه خود من هم از اونها استفاده می كنم :

1-website.grader

website.grader يك ابراز رايگان كه يك سايت را از جنبه های متنوعی مورد بررسی قرار می دهد كه فراهم می كند رتبه هايی برای ترافيك سايت ، بررسی فراداده،تصاوير،دومين ، رتبه درTechnoratiوGoogle Rank ،تعداد لينك درونی ، اخيرين بازيد موتور جستجوی گوگل از سايت و وبلاگ شما، امار تعداد لينك ها از سايت های بوكماركينگ del.icio.us و Digg.com ، و اطلاعات ديگر كه شامل اطلاعات مهمی درباره ی سايت شماست .

2- validator.w3

validator.w3 يك سرويس برای بررسی اينكه ايا سايت يا وبلاگ شما با قوانينW3C(World Wide Web Consortium( هم خوانی دارد يا خير، شما علاوه بر وارد كردن يك فايل HTML و يا داری زبانه ایی برای وارد كردن كد HTML به صورت مستقيم با استفاده از ويرايشگری ساده برای اعتبار سنجي كد است و داری گزينه هایی متنوع از جمله نوع كدگذاری كاراكترها ؛ انتخاب نسخه ایی از HTML برای اعتبار سنجي سند است .

3-jigsaw.w3

jigsaw.w3 سرويسی مشابه validator.w3 و با امكاناتی مشابه آن و تنها برای اعتبار سنجی كد های ‍CSS مورد استفاده قرار مي گيرد.

4-uptime.netcraft

uptime.netcraftيك سرويس كه اطلاعاتی درباره ی سروی كه سايت يا وبلاگ شما بر روی آن است عرضه مي كند اطلاعاتی مانند: نام سيستم عامل سرور ، نام سرور ، IP ، مالك و تاريخ اخرين بار تغييرات

5-Web Page Analyzer

Websiteoptimizationيك سرويس كه اطلاعاتی درباره ی حجم بر حسب بايت و زمان باركذاری آيتم های مختلف صفحه را عرضه مي كند ايتم هایی مانند HTML ، تصاوير، ‍CSS ، كد جاوااسكريپت و موارد ديگر است . همچنين سرعت بارگذاری براساس سرعت های مرسوم اراﺋه می شود و در بر گيرنده ی توصيه هایی برای بهينه سازی‌ طراحی سايت شماست.

6-raven-seo-tools

raven-seo-tools سرويسی كه سايت شما را از لحاظ ساختارهایی مانند : محتوای سرآيند(Header)، لينك های خروجی ، اندازه HTML، CSS،Image،Script سايت و دادن رتبه ایی از 100 به سايت شما

7-tools.summitmedia

tools.summitmediaاطلاعات متنوع مانند: فرآداده،حجم HTML ،كلمات كليدی ، تگ H1،مواردی ديگر

8-linkvendor

linkvendor يك سرويس واقعا قوی و همه فن حريف برای ارزيابی سايت شما امكانات جالب از رتبه بندی براساسAlexaوGoogle Rankگرفته تا قيمت گذاری لينك های سايت شما

9-popuri

popuri سايت شما را از لحاظ رتبه در سرويس های مختلفی مانند : Google Page Rank،Alexa Rank، RankCompete ،Quantcast Rank و تعداد لينك ها در سرويس های اجتماعی مانند : Google BackLinks،Yahoo BackLinks،Live Search BackLinks،Technorati Links،del.icio.us Bookmarks،Bloglines subscribersو WHOIS،DNS Report گزارشي را اراﺋه مي كند

10-siteyogi

siteyogi سرويسی قوی  برای گرفتن آمار های متنوع برای سايت شما اعتبار سنجی كد HTML ،CSS،RSS و رتبه بندی ، صفحات ايندكس شده و …

اميدوارم كه معرفی اين ابزار در طراحی ؛ نگه داری و بهينه سازی سايت يا وبلاگ شما موثر باشد و حداكثر استفاده رو از انها ببريد .

ساير مطالب من در اين باره :

1-معرفی چند سایت رایگان ایرانی و خارجی برای تحلیل ترافیک سایت و وبلاگ شما

2-معرفی سرویس های لینکدونی

3-کانون اخبار وبلاگ نویسی

4-صورتک ها و کاربرد انها

5-معرفی دو ابزار برای وبلاگ نویسی

6- چهارده سناریوی ناگوار در وبلاگستان فارسی از دیدگاه من

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