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A mouth is a mouth...

Sweet Bird — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:45:54 +0000

My face still hurts, I can only breathe through my mouth and I’ve only left my bed today to throw up twice (though that may have had something to do with the fact that I took a bunch of cold medicine and excederin last night and went out with Lucy in spite of feeling like a walking ball of mucus. Drinking whiskey on such drugs makes for one hell of an embarrassing night and one hell of a painful morning). However, I feel no more sick than I did yesterday so I’m glad I got to see Lucy and hear her sparkling laugh.

Before I launch into the unicorn date let me just share my favorite part of last night.

Lucy and I were several whiskeys in and sitting at a certain ex’s bar (why the fuck do I let myself go there? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!!!!) when an older fella sidled up to the bar but promptly turned in his chair to stare at me and Lucy. He had the swarthy skin of a man who has ridden motorcycles in the sun, the eyes of Rodney Dangerfield and the mustache of a child molester. His blatant staring was unnerving to me so of course I pointed it out to Lucy which of course made him heave himself off his seat and come introduce his lovely self.

His name was Greg and he was 56. He told us he was having a drink while he waited for his cab but he wanted to compliment my “ink”. Ugh. Me, being the jolly drunk that I am, asked where he had been before he got to the bar. Why? Who knows, ask the whiskey. The uncomfortable look on his face told me that he had been up the street at the Oregon Theater jerking it to some high class adult films.

I gleefully grilled him about what happens there, as I’ve been curious for quite some time. Greg informed me that you only bring your lady there if you want to let another man fuck her while you watch. When I asked if it was mostly man action happening he delivered this gem:

“I’m not gay. I’ll accept a blow job from a man but that’s it.”

Ooooooh lordy, Greg.

Before he left us he told a convoluted story about his Irish wife, mentioned I was beautiful and stuck out a hand for me to shake. As I went to shake it I suddenly blurted, “Wait a minute you were just at the porn theater!”

He promised his paw was spotlessly clean and I cackled as Lucy and I both bestowed him with handshakes.

Not quite done, he asked me to stand up and give him a twirl. I obliged, laughing as he whispered some other generic compliment huskily into my ear. With that he escaped into the night. Hopefully never to be seen again!

I suppose I’ll just make the unicorn date into a whole separate blog at this point. I’ll let Greg have all the glory here.

Actually, I CAN talk politics anywhere - even in a porn theater

themisse — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:37:17 +0000

This is why you just can’t take me anywhere…

So, the general consensus amongst my friends is that I need to get out of the house and away from CNN before I do myself harm. So, to that end, my loving friends have been grabbing me by my hair and forcing me to have ‘fun’. Mostly, its been mundane things like going to see Eagle Eye or going dancing at Tiger Heat but last night got a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle wacky.

While out with three people who will remain nameless (although I doubt they really give a shit that you know), we decided to roll out of Tiger Heat after the 16th Pussy Cat Dolls song in a row. The plan, originally, had been to go back to our place and hang out but the suggestion was made, somehow, to go to the gay porno theater in the Gayborhood and take in the freak show of people there. “There are dudes fighting with each other to such each other off and crackheads yelling how much they want cock and people fucking everywhere! Its disgusting! Its a riot! We HAVE to go!” As I had never been to a public porn theater (though it bears mentioning that I saw a live sex show years before I even went into a strip club), I was all for it. There is nothing better than watching the human circus that errupts when sex is involved.

The place we went to used to be the Tomkat but now it is called Studs. It should be called STDs because man…. filthy. The whole place reeked – not of cum but of piss. Why dudes piss themselves in a porno theater is beyond me. Maybe because everyone was reaaaaaaally drunk.

So, we paid the $15 to get in then ran around from room to room giggling and pointing and looking for people “being naughty”. We didn’t come on the greatest night and there weren’t a plethora of people there and those that were were full on weirdos. One dude was playing PSP while sitting in the Tranny porn room. One guy came to ask us for $10 and yelled at us in spanish when we told him no. One dude, when asked if he was gay, replied “I’m gay as a goose!” and invited us to watch him give head to some other guy.

But the best dude ever was the drunk dude. As we’re walking around, peering into the gloom to see what was going on, this dude hops up. He was full on stroking it and his dick is just sticking out of his pants. He’s like “you’re new! There are better rooms! Come on, I’ll give you a tour!” So he runs, literally, from room to room showing us what each one was. His dick is just hanging out of his pants and he’s absently fondling himself the whole time like its no big deal. And he keeps disappearing into one door and popping up behind us like Nightcrawler in the Xmen. BAMF! Here’s my dick!

So we finally get settled in the corner of the theater and start talking to this dude and his friend. And dude is drunk beyond all belief. So, he starts yelling about how he went to USC for Journalism in the 1970s and the current state of politics and Obama this and McCain that. And its some really crazy shit. So, I’m starting to seethe about it because I don’t care if you’re some drunk wacko in the porno theater, I’m gonna go there if you get my riled about politics. And my friends see this and instead of shutting me down they just laugh and tell me to go ahead. So this dude and I get into a full on intense political debate as he is sitting there, fly unzipped, jacking off in the middle of the porno theater. I mean full on, busting out facts and figures and quotes from the New York Times and shit. And it gets so crazy that three other dudes come over and chime in! (They all had their clothes on so I can’t say I debated a circle jerk but hey, this shit is still a whole new level.)

So I got ditched for a good 20 minutes as me and these dudes full on debated the state of the union in the middle of the gay porno theater in WeHo. I finally got dragged out, mid-sentence, to go back home to CNN and all thee guys asked us to come back that weekend so we could continue our conversation since half of us hadn’t seen the VP debates and we wanted to talk about it.

Beat THAT, Biden and Palin!

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The Luciann

shannonyarbrough — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 02:40:46 +0000

Here’s another Memphis landmark. Another old movie theatre building which I mentioned in my first book, the beloved Luciann. The outside architecture of the building is amazing. Luciann (It was named for the architect’s daughter) is carved in the concrete over the marquee.

But it’s now the Paris Adult Movie Theater.

Ahhh…memories….oh wait, I’ve never been here before. Seriously. Never. Not once.