I’ve found the best way to alter bad habits is to replace them – slowly – with better ones. For me, it’s an iterative process, marked by a constant flow of remembering and forgetting and remembering the new behaviors.

For example, my bad habit of negative thinking about myself, people around me, and the world in general. To move my thinking from negative to positive, one of the best methods I’ve found is practicing gratitude.

How do you practice something like gratitude? Here’s my short answer:

1. Make it concrete
2. Remember to practice

First of all, I needed to put it into tangible form. One of the simplest and most effective techniques is writing a list of things I’m grateful for. When I first started, my lists were short and infrequent. I wrote them either at night before bed or in the morning before starting the day. They consisted largely of the basics – food, shelter, friends, job.

Next, I had to remember to keep practicing. Repetition. Replacing the negative with the positive. Every night, write the list. Keep a blank book and pen in plain sight by my bed so I have no excuses. Tell friends what I’m doing, so they can help remind me. Pay attention to the quality of my thoughts so I notice when I’m going off the deep end into negativity and self-flagellation.

Over time, my lists expanded, and I have even been able to incorporate gratitude into my thinking throughout the day. Occasionally I take a moment to say a silent thank you to the universe for my health, a pleasant interchange at work, my peace of mind, a healed relationship.

On a final note, here’s an amazingly effective way I’ve found to practice gratitude – I use this when I’m trying to sleep but feel plagued by anxious or negative thoughts that keep me awake:

• Starting from the top, I run through the alphabet
• I think of something I’m grateful for that starts with each letter.
• For example: A is for awareness. B is for beauty. C is for caring friends.

And so on. I nearly always fall asleep before reaching Z.

If you have favorite gratitude practices, please share them here.

I cannot remember the last time I had a four day weekend.  I have tried and tried and no matter what I do I cannot remember having this much time to myself and family.  Do not get me wrong I am not complaining but I can tell you that Friday seemed like Sunday.  I have been in a sort of blur as I am finding myself not knowing what to do with my time.  I am soaking up as much family time as possible but even when they’re in bed I feel as if there is something else I should be doing.  Like work.

Overall I have had an enjoyable Thanksgiving holiday seeing some family that I’ve missed while seeing some family that I wish I hadn’t seen at all.  Thursday we spent the majority of the day with family but I did manage to visit my step-dad’s grave.  Hard to believe that on December 11^th he will have been gone for 1 year.  I must say that it was hard seeing his name etched out on the grave stone with date of birth and date of death underneath his name.  Hard knowing that the last Thanksgiving break I helped him install new electrical wiring in his house.  You know maybe if I would have known it was going to be his last I would have stayed longer and helped out more.

When I was out at the grave I was flooded by memories, emotions, etc.  I couldn’t help but laugh while thinking about him helping me move from the North to the South and then the South to the North six years later.  Or in the fact that both moves cost him his transmission in his truck each trip.  I miss him like crazy fore all the things he tried to help me with.  The hardest thing for me was to get in my car and drive away knowing that the years would now compile bye as they have done with my own dad’s death.

For the past few years, I’ve been daydreaming about starting my own bakery / cafe.  Something that’s a mix of all the coffee shops and bakeries I’ve fallen in love with over the years.  The place I practically lived at when I went to art school, with its huge round fireplace in the center surrounded by big, plush couches.  The coffee shop I spent 6 hours at when I went to grad school, with its cheap yet fabulous locally-sourced menu, fair trade coffee, and tattooed and pierced baristas.  The little tea shop near my office that shut down when the economy soured, with its Dewey decimal card cabinet full of loose teas, and big glass domes with fresh quiches and cookies, and adorable square muffins.

It’s just a matter of going back to school for restaurant management or baking…or both.  Or just renting a storefront and going for it.  But there’s no shortage of cute, hip coffee shops in NYC.  Fair trade and local food isn’t hard to find — it’s been mainstream here for a while.  And then there’s the bottom line:  the cold hard cash needed to start up a place.  NYC rent is no joke, ya’ll.  So my cafe has always been a pipe dream.  Until now.

My husband and his boss are starting a new business in a small town about 3 hours away from NYC.  It’s a college town, small but not too small, with cute houses and shops.  They’re talking about moving out there in 2 or 3 years, which gives me enough time to go to school and learn to be my own boss and save up enough money to get something started.

The three of us — my husband, his boss and I — have been talking about how we can make this happen.  And even though the idea of moving out of NYC and into a smaller city terrifies me at the moment, it’s awesome to know this is totally do-able in a couple of years.  I celebrated the possibility by baking all weekend long.

This morning, the entire cabin smelled like this:

Banana bread with walnuts & chocolate chips.  And a gorgeous, hard, golden-brown crust:

I didn’t have any (sugar, butter, white flour = nuh uh), but it got a foodgasm out of The Husband.  His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he went “Mmmmmmmooooooohhhhhhhh! Ohhh!”  Foodgasm!

I went with a simple breakfast:  2 eggs, 2 slices of honey ham piled on 1 slice of whole wheat toast.  And 83904823 cups of coffee.  Should be enough to give me energy for another 1 hour+ walk today.  And then it’s back to The City for life as usual.  Sorta…

Tomorrow at 6:30 am, I’m starting Brooklyn Bridge Bootcamp’s Slim & Strong session.  I’ll be working out with them 3 times a week for the next 4 weeks.  And, because I want to be in great shape before Christmas, I’ll be working out on my own 2 other days a week.  I also want to use up that 2 week yoga pass, so I’ll challenge myself to do 14 days of yoga at the same time.

The biggest challenge is something I’m starting today:  break my sugar habit.  I went from never having sugar to allowing myself some occasional treats.  Then it became a treat every day.  And this weekend, it’s been treats two or three times a day.  It takes a hold of me fast, and it causes some seeeerious weight gain.  Eff that.  I’ve worked too hard to let it all unravel now.  So I’m not eating what I bake, and I’m not allowing any treats.  I’m on day 1 of no sugar.  By day 4, I’ll be sittin’ pretty.

 Most people want to change, but find that their old conditioning comes back to frustrate them, no matter how hard they try. Well,
affirmations are an excellent way to break that vicious cycle. So if really want to make a difference in your life and those close to you then go to this website and just spend a few minutes.

http://www.tviexpress.com/santini1

By RICARDO ALONSO-ZALDIVAR (AP) – 2 hours ago

 WASHINGTON — Maybe you’ve been reading the health care bill in your spare time. Then perhaps you can answer this question:

 If Congress makes history and puts a bill on President Barack Obama’s desk by Christmas, how long before the uninsured get medical coverage?

 If you said three years or more, you’d be right. Yet many people don’t realize that to keep costs down, lawmakers made compromises that might not appeal to consumers.

 ”There’s going to be a long period of great expectations and very modest deliveries,” said economist Robert Reischauer, president of the Urban Institute public policy center. That’s assuming Democrats prevail.

 Some questions and answers on the House-passed bill and the version the Senate will begin debating in the week ahead; both measures were written by Democrats:

 Q: How many people would be covered?

 A: The Senate bill would cover 94 percent of eligible Americans under age 65; under the House bill, it’s 96 percent.

 That’s a major improvement over the 83 percent now covered, but the safety net would have holes.

 Some 16 million eligible people would remain uninsured under the Senate bill and 12 million under the House bill, according to the Congressional Budget Office. That’s not counting illegal immigrants, who would not be eligible for government assistance under either bill.

 Both bills would eventually require Americans to get health insurance, or face fines.

 Q: Why don’t lawmakers just provide coverage for everyone?

 A: Part of the reason is it would cost more, at least $250 billion over 10 years. The president wants to keep the total cost to about $900 billion. But it means workers and their families would be more than twice as likely to be uninsured as older people, virtually all of whom are now covered by Medicare.

 Q: How affordable is the new middle-class coverage going to be?

 A: It depends.

 Most people would remain in their employer plans. Self-employed people and those working in small businesses would be able to buy coverage through a new insurance marketplace, with government subsidies available for many.

 The aid is substantial for lower-income households, but drops off rapidly for the middle class.

 Under the House bill, a family of four headed by a 45-year-old making $44,000 a year would pay roughly $2,400 in premiums, or $200 a month, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation.

 A similar family making $66,000 would pay about $6,580 in premiums, or about $550 a month.

 That’s a bargain compared to current rates, which can top $1,000 a month, but it still may be too much for some family budgets. About one-third of the uninsured say they’d be able to pay $200 a month in premiums, and only 7 percent say they can afford $400.

 Q: Twenty-year-olds don’t have many health problems. Would they be required to get coverage?

 A: You bet.

 Unmarried children could stay on their parents’ plan until age 27 in the House bill, 26 in the Senate plan. That change would start in 2010.

 But those buying coverage for themselves could be in for sticker shock. Insurers now charge the young and healthy much less than middle-age people who are more likely to get sick. Under both bills, age-related premiums would be limited. So the young would pay more than they do now.

 ”The people who are going to do best are older people with a problematic medical history,” said health policy expert Paul Ginsburg, of the Center for Studying Health System Change.

 Q: These bills are going to ban pre-existing conditions, right?

 A: Yes, but not immediately.

 Both bills would forbid insurers from denying coverage to people in poor health or charging them more. That would happen in 2013 under the House bill, and 2014 in the Senate’s.

 The reason for the delay is that it would be unfair to require insurers to take all applicants right away. The sick would sign up, but healthy people would probably wait until they faced the threat of government fines. Such a situation could raise premiums for everyone.

 Q: So if I have a health care problem, I might still have to wait three years to four years for coverage?

 A: At Obama’s request, lawmakers tried to take care of that by setting aside $5 billion for temporary “high-risk” insurance pools to provide affordable coverage for people whose health is frail.

 But there’s a problem with the patch.

 According to the Congressional Budget Office, the money would run out in 2011 unless Congress pumps in more cash.

 Q: Older people are concerned about what’s going to happen to Medicare. Should they be?

 A: Even though cuts in Medicare payments to hospitals and other providers are paying for much of the cost of covering the uninsured, benefits under traditional Medicare aren’t reduced.

 But those who’ve signed up for private insurance plans through Medicare Advantage could lose valuable extra benefits, according to the budget office.

 For years, the government has been paying the private plans more than it costs traditional Medicare to deliver similar services. The plans used the money to provide extra benefits — mainly lower copayments and deductibles.

 Both bills offer cheaper prescription drugs to those who fall into the “doughnut hole,” the Medicare coverage gap. The House bill gradually would eliminate the gap. Both bills also provide better coverage for preventive care.

Most people want to change, but find that their old conditioning comes back to frustrate them, no matter how hard they try. Well,
affirmations are an excellent way to break that vicious cycle. So if really want to make a difference in your life and those close to you then go to this website and just spend a few minutes.

http://www.tviexpress.com/santini1

Are you ready to unleash your deepest desires? The time is now. Everyone is born with desire. Desire is the impulse of life and a spiritual gift that lives in your heart.
Desire sparks the flow and expansion of life through you. It is the power that calls forth that which you desire into your life. It enables you to be the conscious creator of your life. There is a group of desire manifestors that know that there is more to experiencing the reality of their desires than desire alone.

What is it that this group knows and does that takes them from desire to reality? This is what they know. They know that what they desire already exists. There is nothing that you desire in your heart that you cannot be, do, have or experience. The desire itself is the power that brings it to you. This is what they do. They acknowledge their desire, claim it as truth and give thanks for it. In practice this ignites your desire and releases it to the universe which is always conspiring to bring what you desire in your heart into the reality of your life.

Discover The Greatest Secrets Of The Mind And Reality That Will Get You Anything You Desire, Almost Like Magic! If you want to FINALLY experience the COMPLETE Manifestation of All the Miracles, Success, Wealth, Health, Love and Happiness that you have always dreamed of… then register as member of Mind Reality now!

Go here now to discover how to become a Mind Reality Member:
==> http://www.MindReality.com/specialoffer.html

Including today we all have 33 days left in this decade.  Yeah, I said decade.  The 2000’s are just about over and the 2010’s are fast approaching.  How about some reflection on the 2000’s.  We started the year 2000 worrying that the millennium would be the end.  Well here we are at the end of 2009 and we are still here.

Think back over the last 10 years and where you were and where you’ve come, your career, family life, personal goals, dreams.  Be honest with yourself, are you where you want to be?  Do you have the relationships that you’d like to have made?  Have you lost touch with some important people in your life?

What about your job or career?  Are you still in the same job?  Do you have the job you wanted or thought that you’d have?  What about about money?  Do you make what you thought you would?  More or less?

Are there some things that you wanted to accomplish that you haven’t been able to start?  Or have you just given up on your dreams?

Okay, so these could be some seriously somber and depressing answers for some and some maybe exactly where they thought they would be.

What is the difference in those two types of people?  Why do some just accept where they are and live with the results that are given them while others go out and grab for what they want?

One of the things that make them different, in my opinion, is goal setting and planning.  I don’t believe that people understand how vitally important these things are to a person’s life.  We all need something in our lives to shoot for, a reason to do what we do, our individual “WHY”.

Do you know what your why is?  Well, the good news is that you have 33 days left in 2009 to figure this out and to determine how you want to change, in order to make the 2010 decade different than 2009.

All you have to do is think about what you aren’t satisfied with in your life and what you would like that area to be like.  Then make a conscious effort to change actions to make it what you want.

You can do it, just have to make the decision.

Thanksgiving Day has passed in the US, although some of you might be on the hook for another feast this afternoon. I think I did alright… I loaded up my plate, but mostly with salad and veggies (and of course, a piece of challah bread I made). I had a couple strips of turkey, a bit of dressing, and some gravy, but I didn’t go overboard with the cholesterol stuff — as much as I like deviled eggs, I didn’t have any. The chocolate cake tasted a bit strange to me, so I didn’t have more than one piece of that and concentrated on the fruit salad.

More important than a single large meal, I managed to ride the exerbike every evening, Monday through Saturday! The display said I burned roughly 100 calories with each ride, but there were side benefits that I consider more significant:

1. I felt warmer the rest of the evening. Where I might have been chilly without a sweater before the ride, after I was comfortable just wearing the t-shirt and pants (a couple nights, the shorts I wore on the bike were fine).
2. Sleep came quicker. I tend to have a hard time getting to sleep, always have. This worked as well as several drinks, without the hazardous side effects.
3. It had a noticeable effect on my blood pressure.

It wasn’t a difficult thing to accomplish, once I figured out how to work it: I streamed the AOL Trance station on my iPhone and read a magazine while pedaling away. How often can you get two things done at once that you want to do?

All in all, it’s been a positive week for me. I didn’t blow up my calorie intake too much, and I’ve been getting a decent amount of exercise while figuring out how to turn it into a healthy habit. I tweaked a tendon in my left ankle a couple weeks ago, not sure how, and if walking was the only thing I could have done to exercise, I’d be in trouble. Fortunately, the exerbike doesn’t work that joint and I can pedal comfortably. So I’m in pretty good shape to get through the next five weeks of Eating Season, as long as I keep up my end of things.

How did your week go? “I decided not to worry about it” is an acceptable answer; after all, letting go for one day is fine — as long as it’s only one day! How can you apply what you did this week to the week ahead?

The Secret team has created a visualization tool, “The Secret to You”, which you can download for free and play every day.

“The Secret to You” has been especially created to harness all the power of The Secret to transform your life into happiness, prosperity, health, love and joy.

To experience maximum power from the visualization tool, read the words and feel them with all your heart. From all at The Secret, we celebrate you, we give thanks for you and we wish you a life beyond your wildest dreams.

To experience “The Secret to You” visualization tool The Secret to You at

http://thesecret.tv/secret-to-you

I am the only person I know who has had swine flu.

I knew it was out there, marauding and claming victims left and right, but one tends to have a sort of personal mythology about one’s own immune system. Nonetheless, I found myself grimly slumped over in the doctor’s office not long after my son’s first birthday with a horrific Q-tip on a filament stuck deep into my left nostril to get a sample of snot. I squirmed, and  yes, cried a little, as a too-happy medical cowboy of a Texan doctor proceeded to blithely ask me questions about my weight, height, and family history of high blood pressure. With a chortle, Tex unceremoniously yanked said instrument of hell out, sent it to the lab, and declared me at one with the oinks.

To make a long story short, two months-worth of antibiotics and steroids later, I ended up in the hospital with what the admitting ER physician believed to be a mini stroke or TIA. Fortunately, the cardiologists who later examined me decided that my “TIA” was really a terrifying reaction to the long courses of powerful medications. But, that didn’t happen until after I had spent 24 long hours believing that I was going to have, as the ER doc coined it, “the big one” that might cut short my life as a wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter and therapist. It was the most deeply terrifying, horrific night of my life. There are no further words I can add to editorialize the bleak possibility that you might never see your son graduate from preschool, much less highschool.

The point of my sharing this bit of personal trivia with you is to bring up a discussion about gratitude. It seems almost cinematically appropriate that all this should happen in the few weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. In fact, I wonder sometimes about the cosmic timing of stuff like this, and I am assuming that there is not only a reason for it, but something to be gained by the experince. Existential pontificating aside, I am darn lucky to be here. And, I am very grateful to be alive.

Studies (yep, scientific ones) have demonstrated that those who practice daily gratitude, even in the form of keeping a simple journal of stuff that you are thankful for, are healthier. Think about that. I’ll wait. Not just happier, but healthier. Think about that some more.

So, poor schmuckos like you and I can not only give ourselves a case of the smiles by practicing gratitude, we can spend fewer nights with the good people over at ORMC. I, for one think that is a big deal. Clients often tell me that I have a “glass half-full sort of mentality.” And, they’re not wrong about that. I deeply believe that the individuals who do best are those who decide to focus on what is working in their lives and do more of that. That is not to say that it is not helpful or appropriate to do some life archaeology to see how we got off track. But, ultimately, it is the things that we have, do, and notice that are empowering that will get our behinds out of the sling and in a forward-thinking place.

So, as you devor the last of those turkey drumsticks, hoist high a big cheer of thanks. Better yet, not it down for yourself in your blog, notebook, journal, or fancy cellphone. Your health will thank you for it.

Your Partner in Healing,

Holly

holly@lotustherapycenter.com

www.lotustherapycenter.com

If  you would like a FREE 30-Minute Consultation to determine if I might be a good fit for your needs, please call (407) 913-4988 or email me at holly@lotustherapycenter.com.

Life is about relationships. The relationship we have with ourselves, with each other, as well as the connection to that which is beyond any of us yet immanent in each of us. When our relationships are good we feel good. When they are bad we feel awful. Life would be so much easier if we all just accepted that we need each other. We need to feel connected; we need to feel each other’s presence and love.

I was reading an article the other day that stated that ancient scriptures in India say that we are all part of a universal web of light. All in one and one in all. We are never disconnected from a whole. I believe that. Nonetheless there are tmes where I feel disconnected from this knowledge. I just lose sight of where I belong and experience intense feelings of loneliness, alienation, and confusion. When I allow myself to feel what I need to feel in that moment, I am able to work through it, I become centered, and I get back on my spiritual journey of discovering who I am. We are all connected.

Peace and love

It’s the weekend- take a break and reward yourself by doing something you want to do-you deserve it:)

Have a great day!

come visit me at facebook www.facebook.com/optimistgreen?_fb_noscript=1

This is my latest blog post over at WeAretheRealDeal. You can read it here or after the jump.

I was a sophomore in college, mending a broken heart and pretty bummed about the state of my life at the moment when, during a dorm-room chat, a (very blunt) friend looked at me point-blank and said, “Oh, Meliss, you’ll be fine. You’d be happy in a pile of mud.”

A pile of mud!? Really?! Ouch.

My first instinct was to be insulted, and to be honest, I was for a few minutes.

I mean, I’d been lovingly teased by friends for being a glass-half-full person, someone who was perpetually happy (it’s not a big surprise that I spent half my life cheerleading) … and while I (like everyone) had my moments … for the most part, I was happy most of the time.

But having never been told anything that cut like this, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that her comment stung.

It stung because it not only dismissed my feelings at the time (I was, as I noted, heart-broken and feeling uncharacteristically down), but it seemed like she was making a broader statement — that I was the kind of person who would settle for anything; that it was expected I would just put up with any unpleasant situation naively, blissfully unaware.

And those things didn’t ring true.

Yet the more I thought about it, the more I realized the underlying truth in what she was saying — and that it was, in actuality, a backhanded compliment — whether she realized it or not. I brushed her words off, never forgetting them, but vowing not to dwell on them, either.

The truth is, she was right — I do tend to make the best out of situations. Sure, some situations are easier than others to tackle, but I still try to make the best of them.

Experience has taught me that negativity gets you nowhere; it might be hard to find silver lining, but I can usually find something. (Case in point–getting over the aforementioned heart-ache gave way to meeting my now-husband two years later!)

And so while her comment stung, it didn’t leave a real scar on this optimist. No — instead, all these years later, that comment — and my emotional tie to it — is still is emblazoned in my mind as one of those “defining moments” where you realize who you are, and accept yourself for who you are.

The truth is, I am an optimist, and I’m not ashamed of it. I was raised to see the good in life and to try to find the bright side even when one doesn’t exist. My parents aren’t pessimists, and, not surprisingly, neither are my siblings and I.

And over the years I’ve come to really embrace my positive, optimistic attitude toward life. Necessity taught me that at an early age.

If I (or my family) had gotten bitter when I was 8 years old and our house burned down, where would I/we be today? We couldn’t wallow in our shared agony after that icy January day in 1988 that profoundly changed life as we knew it.

No, we had to literally pick ourselves up, deal with the tragedy of losing our home and all our possessions and our sense of security … and move on. There simply was no other option.

And even today, we say we think our house burning down brought our already-close family even closer together: a blessing in disguise, if you will.

And here’s another example — when my husband and I were dating long-distance internationally for five years after college, people called us crazy, pinning all our hopes and dreams to one another. But we loved each other, and he’s as much an optimist as I am (perhaps even moreso?!) … so while it wasn’t always easy (and I’m ridiculously, notoriously impatient), we clung to faith in each other that somehow, someday, we’d find a way to be together.

And sure enough, our positive outlook (and patience) paid off– in the same week, we got engaged in Italy and came back to D.C. where discovered he had a job offer waiting for him (the job that ended up bringing us here to Michigan).

Those are just two examples of many, where a positive outlook helped me through a challenging situation. I believe that having a positive outlook — or being able to re-frame a negative situation (thank you, therapy!) — is one of the keys to a happy life.

I also know having a positive outlook helped me get where I am today with respect to my disordered eating recovery. I had to truly believe I could stop the unhealthy behaviors — and I did. I needed a positive frame of mind, though, to get there.

Along these lines, we’ve heard of lots of studies that have proven the emotional/mental benefits to positive thinking, but a recent study from the University of Pittsburgh featured in the December issue of SELF magazine also seems to show physical benefits to thinking positive. This was news to me!

(Note: though I vowed to never again read SELF magazine after the Kelly Clarkson cover debacle, my subscription hasn’t run out and I can’t have a magazine sitting here unread so … forgive me for going back on my word).

Per the article, “Women who focus on the bright side may experience less stress, which makes them less likely to become sick. Silver lining seekers have a 9 percent lower risk of developing heart disease and a 14 percent lower risk of dying–from any cause–than do pessimists.”

Wow–I have to say, I loved seeing that in print (and I hope my friend who said I’d be happy in a pile of mud sees it, too!) But it’s not really too surprising when you think about it. Knowing there are physical benefits makes having a positive attitude even more of an asset.

And if all else fails, I’m going to keep in mind that mud — in a pile or otherwise — makes for a great facial.

How about you? Are you a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty person? How has positive thinking helped you in your life??

I often have thoughts that occur to me and I always try to remember them in some way so I can sit down later and think more deeply about them; here are some of them:

I was looking in a world atlas a time ago which I do on a regular basis. (I don’t think you can ever finish reading that kind of book). I opened on a page showing Siberia in Russia, and on looking at all the small red spots showing communities with great distances between them, I thought how amazing it was. How is it possible that people live there of their own free will, and how did they get there in the first place? How did these communities start to exist?

The reason for my questions is that, to me, it must be a quite unfriendly climate with its lack of daylight, the coldness for several months every year and the distance between communities. It’s a mystery to me that, of their own free will, anyone would build a place to live under these circumstances – and that they remain there.

Another thought occurred when I was writing this: How many people have their hobby as their profession – and I also mean that they love it so much that they miss it when doing other things? Personally I don’t think it’s many. I know lots of people who only work because they need the money – and nothing more. Besides that, they only get paid enough that they do not leave the company, nothing more!

Once I asked a person if he felt good about his job, and the answer he gave rather surprised me: “Of course I like my job, I only have a five minute walk from my home”. I was nearly choked by this statement. In my view he was not satisfied with the job he worked at for eight hours a day but maybe just the five minutes to and from it. Just imagine spending eight hours a day just waiting to start the walk back home!

To me it’s much better to spend one hour travelling to my job in order to spend eight enjoyable hours, then another hour travelling back home again!

www.offerlind.se

Does your own life include the realities of limitations and problems?  Limitations and problems are you projecting an illusion onto your physical reality.  They begin to play over and over again on the screen of your physical reality.  Do your best to change the negative appearance of what you are projecting.   When you begin to project a higher vibration full of love, being creative, prosperous, confident, patient, successful, peaceful, and enlightened then you will project this illusion on your physical reality.  You are an eternal being within that is able to project manifestations onto your screen of life…so what are you projecting?

One more round of family coming in.  We are blessed to have such a big family.  The refrigerator is full of leftovers yet we keep cooking!    Lee and I have been working in the late evenings so that we can have time for all the relatives coming through.  It’s been a wonderful holiday.

This story is close to my heart and I urge the American People to take this story to heart as well and take action;

  I must continue to mention the following article because it means so much to me and my friends though I am not a veteran but i know and work with them and I have to say that they are people who gave their minds legs and arms literally for this country and for us to allow Target Corporation and being owned by a French corporation mmmmmmmmmmm. I used to love shopping at Target but now that I know what I know to treat our American Soldiers with such disrespect is not accepted in my world and hope that it is not accepted in yours. Where would France be if not for the American Veterans.

 Wasn’t it last Christmas that Target refused to let the Salvation Army ring their bells in front of their stores?

 Dick Forrey of the Vietnam Veterans Association wrote..

 ‘Recently we asked the local TARGET store to be a proud sponsor of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall during our spring recognition event. We received the following reply from the local TARGET management:

 ‘Veterans do not meet our area of giving. We only donate to the arts, social action groups, gay & lesbian causes, and education.’

 So I’m thinking, if the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall and veterans in general, do not meet their donation criteria, then something is really wrong at this TARGET store. We were not asking for thousands of dollars, not even hundreds, just a small sponsorship for a memorial remembrance..

 As a follow-up, I E-mailed the TARGET U. .S. Corporate Headquarters and their response was the same. That’s their national policy. Then I looked into the company further. They will not allow the Marines to collect for ‘Toys for Tots’ at any of their stores.. And during the recent Iraq deployment, they would not allow families of employees who were called up for active duty to continue their insurance coverage while they were on military service. Then as I dig further, TARGET is a French-owned corporation.Now, I’m thinking again.. If TARGET cannot support American Veterans, then why should my family and I support their stores by spending our hard earned American dollars!

 And, have their profits sent to France. Without the American Vets, where would France be today? ‘They, most likely would be speaking German and trading in Deutsch Marks’

 Sincerely,

 Dick Forrey
Veterans Helping Veterans

 Most people want to change, but find that their old conditioning comes back to frustrate them, no matter how hard they try. Well,
affirmations are an excellent way to break that vicious cycle. So if really want to make a difference in your life and those close to you then go to this website and just spend a few minutes.

http://www.tviexpress.com/santini1

I would have done a better job keeping these people out of the WHite House!!! It is pretty sad when to know this just happened and could have been disastrous. Stupid Stupid Stupid

Secret Service apologizes for ticketless couple’s access

Questions linger over checkpoint breakdowns at White House dinner

President Barack Obama shakes hands with Michaele Salahi, as her husband and Tareq looks on at right, at the State Dinner in the State Dining Room of the White House Tuesday, Nov. 24, 2009. Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh in in the background at left. (Samantha Appleton – The White House)

 

 

By Jason Horowitz, Roxanne Roberts and Michael D. Shear

Washington Post Staff Writer
Saturday, November 28, 2009  Getting to the president is not supposed to be this easy. I hope that the President ires his security head and replaces him with someone who has some common sense.

The White House said late Friday that Michaele and Tareq Salahi, the Virginia couple auditioning for a Bravo reality show, not only got past layers of experienced, executive-branch security but also shook the president’s hand in the Blue Room of the White House during the Obamas’ first state dinner. Late Friday, the White House also released a photo of Michaele Salahi’s audience with the president, with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh smiling nearby.

The security breach has caused hand-wringing inside the White House, bewilderment among Tuesday night’s guests — and late on Friday, prompted an apology from the Secret Service.

A statement by Director Mark Sullivan said the agency was “deeply concerned and embarrassed by the circumstances surrounding the State Dinner” and added that “the preliminary findings of our internal investigation have determined established protocols were not followed at an initial checkpoint, verifying that two individuals were on the guest list.”

Sullivan suggested that the couple had been screened for weapons, but should not have gained entry. “That failing is ours,” he said.

Agents from the Secret Service — which, according to spokesman James Mackin, has “not ruled out” criminal charges against the couple — sought to interview them at the Salahi family winery in Hume earlier Friday. The couple wasn’t there, and the investigators sought them out at another address in Linden.

Reached by telephone Friday evening, the couple’s attorney, Paul W. Gardner, declined to comment. In an e-mail to Bloomberg News, Gardner added, “My clients were cleared by the White House to be there.”

According to Mackin, the security failure occurred at the initial checkpoint, where guests present their names to an agent. He said the Salahis should have been turned away when their names did not show up on the guest list, but instead agents waved them on to the next checkpoint.

“We know at this point that the failing was at that first one,” Mackin said in an interview late Friday. “They should have been turned away.”

How the couple — he decked out in a tuxedo, she in a red sari — made it past the second checkpoint, however, is still unanswered. Mackin said the Salahis were not included on the list of invited guests, and a source familiar with the investigation added that the Secret Service’s Office of Professional Responsibility is looking more broadly at whether their names had ever been put into the security force’s computer network.

At this point, the source said, “we don’t have any indication they were on any list or ever in the system.”

The notion of a couple breezing into the White House and getting waved through by Secret Service agents and other security proved so hard to believe that gossip blogs and incredulous guests floated other explanations. One such scenario that gained traction suggests the Salahis, who have been photographed at social events with Indian Embassy officials, persuaded one of their Indian friends to get them on a special guest list.

“Neither the embassy nor anyone from the embassy was involved in any way in their getting into the White House,” said Rahul Chhabra, an official at the embassy. “Nor did we request any invitation for them.”

Rep. Peter King (R-N.Y.) said he was preparing a letter to the House Committee on Homeland Security requesting a full investigation into the matter and added that if the Salahis’ names had been added to any list, “that raises a whole separate issue.”

King added that in his experience attending White House functions, administration staff from the social secretary’s office always accompanied security officers at checkpoints because staffers had a greater familiarity with the invitees on a guest list, and were in a better position to make judgment calls about unexpected guests.

King noted that Social Secretary Desirée Rogers acknowledged that “there was nobody there from the social staff” at the gate.

For most guests, Tuesday’s state dinner began with an engraved invitation from the White House delivered about a week before the party. Invitees were asked to RSVP to a recorded telephone line with their name, Social Security number and date of birth, for criminal background checks. Those planning to arrive by car were also asked to provide the make, model, license plate number and driver information.

On the night of the party, cars were admitted at the entrance at 15th and E streets. NBC’s Brian Williams saw the Salahis’ SUV turned away — and the crashers and a film crew jumped out and continued on foot.

Most of the guests walked to the steps of the East Entrance, where Secret Service agents held the list of invited guests. The steps are wide; people clustered in loose lines and offered photo identification.

One guest at the dinner, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to speak freely about an incident embarrassing to the Obama administration, stood behind the Salahis in line as they entered the White House.

He then watched the Salahis make it past two security checkpoints, only one of which checked photo IDs. The poor light led this guest to remark to the agent that “you should have a helmet with a little flashlight on your head; it’s hard to see,” the guest recalled saying. “This poor guy was getting his eyes close to the paper trying to see our names.”

“They were just behind us,” said another guest, who also spoke on the condition of anonymity to speak critically, noted that security only asked once for photo identification.

Sant Singh Chatwal, an Indian hotelier who attended the dinner, said that after passing through security checkpoints and a metal detector, guests gave their names to a woman he assumed was a member of the social secretary’s office, positioned at a small table at the foot of the stairs. The woman then handed guests a place card with his or her name and table number elegantly scrawled in black ink.

“It wouldn’t be that hard to go through the receiving line, because once you’re in, you just go by,” said the guest behind the Salahis. “You’re supposed to give a card with your name on it, which I assume they didn’t have, but that doesn’t make a difference; you just keep walking and you say ‘Hi’ to the president and you go down to the tent.”

A third guest, who said that Secret Service agents never asked to see any of his personal identification and only asked his name, recalled seeing Michaele Salahi “grinning ear to ear” during the cocktail reception in the East Room.

At the south end of the room, guests lined up for the receiving line with the Obamas and the Indian prime minister. Guests gave their names to staffers, who whispered the information to the president. Late on the Friday of a long, holiday weekend, the White House released a photo by Samantha Appleton of the couple greeting the president.

After the handshake, the couple entered an elaborate tent erected on the South Lawn, where they posed for pictures with Vice President Biden and Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel. Guests sat down about 8:45 p.m.; it is unclear when or how the crashers left the White House grounds.

 Most people want to change, but find that their old conditioning comes back to frustrate them, no matter how hard they try. Well,
affirmations are an excellent way to break that vicious cycle. So if really want to make a difference in your life and those close to you then go to this website and just spend a few minutes.

 

http://www.tviexpress.com/santini1

When I was in Sunday School, one of my favorite songs was ‘A Merry Heart Is Like a Medicine…’. The words are taken out from Proverbs 17:22 in the Bible. I used to sing it over and over again anytime and everywhere till my voice would get hoarse. Did I get the wise old guy’s wisdom? Nope.

A few years ago I came across somewhere in a magazine that ‘happy people reach their goals faster in life.’ That was what psychologists have found out. I just couldn’t apprehend the wisdom then. I didn’t pay any attention either. As usual, I was just flipping through the pages and not actually reading.

I am older now and wiser I guess. Now I see a connection between these two. Wish I had understood this much earlier in life. Why? Because IT IS TRUE – ‘A merry heart is like a medicine’ and that ‘Happy people reach their goal faster in life.’ Let me say the last one again – ‘Happy people reach their goal faster in life.’ Once more: ‘HAPPY PEOPLE REACH THEIR GOAL FASTER IN LIFE’!

Here is why…

I guess you must have heard about the Law of Attraction (LOA)a million times over or more by now. It’s everywhere and people are making a fortune selling this SECRET through every strategy available. It’s an old secret though. But for the sake of those who are new to this, let me try to put it as simple as I can. LOA operates on this simple law – LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE. Human beings are magnet and that, what we are is what we have attracted to ourselves through our thoughts. How? Because everything in the universe is made up of the same stuff – ENERGY. You are an ‘energy ball’ constantly sending out vibrations into the universe in the form of thoughts and feelings. The logic is this – If you send positive energy, you will attract positive things into your life; If you send negative energy, you attract negative things.

Down the ages almost all the great teachers and philosophers have recognized this and have advocated it. Here is what some of them said:

All that we are is a result of what we have thought – Buddha
A man is what he thinks about all day long – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve – W. Clement Stone
A man’s life is what his minds make of it – Marcus Aurelius
The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their life by altering their attitudes of mind – William James
If you think in negative terms you will get negative results, if you think in positive terms you will achieve positive results – Norman Vincent Peale
Everything is possible for him who believes – Mark 9:23
As Earl Nightingale puts it,“We become what we think about.”
It is also written in the Bible,“As a person thinks in his heart so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7)
You might as well have heard the old adage ‘Be careful of what you wish for. They might come true.’ They do.

Want more? Check this out…

Haven’t you realized that when you are angry or hurt, things become worse or even get physically hurt? But when you begin to look at the brighter side of life, suddenly your path seems to get brighter? Everything in the universe seems to favor you? Doors open up? Opportunities show up? Good things happen? Why? Now you know.

Our life is steered and shaped mostly by the pattern of our thoughts. If you think good, you become good. If you think bad, you become bad. This is true because when you are in a positive state of mind, you get positive ideas and begin to ACT on those ideas and what you get is positive outcome. Let me say it again: “When you are in a positive state of mind, you get positive ideas and begin to ACT on those ideas and what you get is positive outcome.” THINK AND ACT. It also happens exactly the same when you think the other way round.

So?

Well, if you really love and care for yourself, BE HAPPY. Time and space will not permit me to tell you again how to make yourself happy. To begin, develop a grateful heart and you’ll be amazed at the number of things you would be happy about. Well, just be good and do good and be grateful for what you have and for things to come. Here is a golden rule. “Do unto others what you want them to do to you” (Matthew 7:12) and surely good things will cross your way. Just obey this great commandment and I am certain that your life will be full of Divine intervention which we humans call ‘miracles’!

How often have you let the perceptions of others hold you back? Not just “others”, but one person? Just one.

You’re flying high with the excitement of an accomplishment, and someone offers a contrary opinion. Crash! All you can see is limitation, from that one person’s opinion. Now, if it was 10 people telling you the same thing… ok… even 3 people… maybe there is something to look at here. But are you going to let one person’s perception limit you? No! Say no!

Ask yourself: Does buying into another person’s perceptions of limitations serve any higher purpose or good? I have learned over the years that buying into other people’s limiting perceptions, can be the absolute worst thing I can do.

Why?

Because I am buying into their“limits” not mine! Limit – is full of fear. Full of “no”. Full of “can’t”.

I am grateful to have finally learned the lesson that what people see is more about them than me. I can’t see something in another unless it is part of who I am.

When I come from a place of love, I see love in others. When I come from fear and limits, I see limits and fear in others.

Over the years, I have picked up fear and limits from a lot of people! I am sure I am not unique in my experience.

The key for me now is to look at the feedback honestly and see where that one person providing it, is coming from. Take the grain of truth that might be there. And let the rest go.

Where have you picked up limits that aren’t really even yours? How can you let go and shine brightly in your own knowledge, that you are on the right path?

Challenge other people’s perceptions. Ask more questions. Celebrate! Believe the voice inside you. The one that whispers “Yes! I did it!!”

Two nonfiction books I read this month also took me on journeys. First, I read However Tall the Mountain, by Awista Ayub. Ayub, an Afghan American, founded an exchange program for Afghan girls, and her book tells of her efforts, and of the lives of eight girls who played soccer through her program. It’s the girls’ stories that will grab you, as well as the author’s candid, unvarnished description of her experiences and theirs.

Then, I picked up Marek Bennett’s Nicaragua: Comics Travel Journal. Marek will be discussing this book at Gibson’s in January. While However Tall the Mountain touches less on the physical journey and more on the mental and emotional distance the girls traverse, Marek’s book is a travel journal, all about his trip to San Ramon, Nicaragua on a comics exchange.

I enjoy his storytelling through drawings. Like Awista Ayub, Marek is admirably forthright about the good as well as the bad, and their honesty makes both of these books good reads. I’d be suspicious of stories of Americans riding into a developing nation and changing lives exactly according to plan with no worries or unpleasant experiences.

Speaking of honestly assessing the good and the bad, last week I read Barbara Ehrenreich’s Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America. If you’ve ever had someone tell you, when you were dealing with something really difficult and upsetting, that it might be a “blessing in disguise,” or pointed out a “silver lining,” or worse, suggested that if only you stay positive, things would turn around, this is the book for you. Ehrenreich, whose writing is clear and persuasive and always backed up with excellent research, not only points out the inanity of such “bright-sidedness,” but also illuminates the dangers of accepting positive thinking as the cure all for everything from health to economic well being.

I was particularly disgusted with the examples of ministers preaching a sort of motivational speaker version of Christianity.  A recent Atlantic article explores the connection between the prosperity gospel and the housing bubble and subprime mortgage disaster. Ehrenreich traces the historical roots of prosperity preaching and its development alongside “positive psychology,” and shows that in the spiritual and the secular, America has become a nation that prizes blind optimism over critical thinking.

She visits motivational speakers at conferences, career coaches and preachers, psychologists and medical professionals. I found the passages exposing the shaky scientific evidence of positive thinking’s impact on health and well being particularly interesting. And I got vicariously angry reading about Ehrenreich’s experiences as a cancer patient. Angry and exhausted from advocating for herself and dealing with cancer, she was told she needed help so she could be more positive. She points out that this “blame the victim” psychology only makes people who are genuinely angry or grieving over an illness feel like they are partly the cause of their own misery.

As I read, I realized that one reason I struggled with The Artist’s Way last winter is that I didn’t believe that changing my attitude would bring me success, so the book made me feel like a failure. My “morning pages” didn’t open up untapped creative veins. And I wasn’t willing to undertake some of Cameron’s advice about imagining your way to a new life, because I would rather be happy with reality. In fairness, The Artist’s Way isn’t only positive thinking, but the stuff that made me rebel as I tried to follow the book is all based in the same psychology Ehrenreich critiques in Bright-sided.

The Teenager just made an elite soccer club in our area — on his second try.  He worked hard to earn a spot this year. Reading Bright-sided made me squirm a bit as I realized we’ve told him, each time he’s faced a disappointment such as being cut or sitting on the bench, to keep working hard, but also to have a positive attitude. We never actually counseled that his goals would be realized through positive thinking, but we definitely encouraged it.

We’ve always struggled with this; all parents do. How much do you encourage your kids to “dream big” and when should you point out that much of the world’s game is rigged, and that for the average person, the odds are not very high that fame and fortune await? Only in the last year did it dawn on us to just tell him that in some cases, he probably never had a chance, because a coach already knew who he wanted on a team, or something else kept him off a squad — size, position, or even just random bad luck. Not to mention not very well-connected parents.

I discussed the book a bit at the dinner table, and pointed out that I hoped both kids could see that sometimes, it’s not whether you’re good enough, or hope hard enough for things to go your way, but that other factors entirely beyond your control might keep you from achieving something you really want.  We talked about not giving up, figuring out what incremental steps might get you to your goal, accepting responsibility and working hard, but also accepting that life isn’t always fair.

Sometimes chance or politics get in the way, and all the positive thinking in the world can’t help. Critical thinking might, as could a little rabble rousing on behalf of a just cause. Conscious acceptance that despite the odds, you want to keep trying is fine, too, maybe even brave or admirable.

I got the “duh mom” reaction so I guess my kids are less susceptible to being “bright-sided” than I feared. I suspect that their early exposure to a mother fired up by social justice issues helped them understand at a far tenderer age than I that what Bono sings is true, “Where you live should not decide whether you live or whether you die.” They also saw through Habitat’s work that sometimes a change in circumstances can make all the difference. Plentiful access to reading material can help people go places, I’d say . . . .

I finished four other books this month: Haiku the Sacred Art, by Margaret McGhee; All That Work and Still No Boys, by Kathryn Ma; and two poetry collections by poets who will be at Gibson’s in December for The Gift of Poetry — an evening featuring many poets from NH. I read Jim Schely’s As When, In Season and Jennifer Militello’s Flinch of Song.

McGhee’s book arrived in the mail and I tried to figure out why for a couple of days before I came across one of my own poems in her text and realized “Ah ha! This is my contributor’s copy!” It’s an interesting look at poetry writing as a meditative, spiritual experience. Haiku is still one of my favorite forms, and this book helped me remember why.

Schley and Militello are both very talented wordsmiths. Flinch of Song is brainy and rich, the poems are full of mystery and have an incantatory quality. Militello’s subject matter is mainly the internal world, but her poems are full of external images. This creates a wild (and beautiful) ride for the reader — you never quite know where you are, as you grasp at what’s real and what’s imaginary. These poems are mind blowing, and I’m in awe of Militello’s powers.

Schley’s book also explores relationships and the creative process (including a section of odes to the muses). My favorites in this volume are “Daughter,” “My Father’s Whistle,”  and “Devotional,” which are moving tributes to the beauty of small moments in a life.

I also enjoyed “Autumn Equinox” — Schley manages to convey what Frost called a “lovers’ quarrel with the world,” in this case, the poet’s distress over war, but he does it with such subtle skill, and in such a lovely poem, that it doesn’t hit you over the head with the “issue.” War poems are hard to do well, and this one is marvelous. Schley’s talent is in weaving a quiet spell, while Militello’s fiery work is like a blast from a wizard’s wand. Both were a treat.

Ma’s book won the Iowa Short Fiction Prize. It’s a collection of ten stories featuring Chinese American characters. A Gibson’s customer recommended it.  Ma’s writing is strong, original, and detailed. Her stories are tight, complex, and well drawn. That said, they are mostly depressing; some of the stories offer more redemption or transformation for the characters than others. My favorites were “Second Child,”  “The Scottish Play,” “For Sale By Owner,” and “Mrs. Zhao and Mrs. Wu.”

I’m about halfway through  The Fortune Cookie Chronicles — thanks, Mom! I’m fascinated by Jennifer 8 Lee’s curiosity — she seems to be a fellow traveler on the life learning road — and I admire the way she pursues her questions about Chinese food (the All American version) all over the globe. Lee comes across as warm and funny, and her book is interesting and well written. It made me curious, although not quite brave enough to ask, where the proprietors of my family’s favorite Chinese restaurant are from, what brought them here, and what they think of American Chinese food.

We ordered Chinese food on Thanksgiving Eve — I’d been cooking and baking all day, and it was a treat. Now it’s the day after Thanksgiving. Fueled up on our traditional turkey eggs, turkey salad, and turkey soup (okay, and some leftover pie), I’m entering the final laps of NaNoWriMo — you can watch the counter on my bookconscious page turn over to the “Winner” badge when I cross 50,000 words (probably Sunday or Monday).

As always, I have a pile of books waiting for me. My neighbor lent me a couple of novels, and I still have books Jan passed on to me, as well as a stack of books by authors I’ve scheduled to come to Gibson’s. I’m ready for winter, with plenty to read squirreled away!

Watch a sunset. If the Universe can do that for the sky imagine what it can do for you- if you trust and believe in it!

Have a happy weekend!

come visit me at facebook www.facebook.com/optimistgreen?_fb_noscript=1

I am thankful.

And I have chosen to be happy.

L. D. Turner

People are often confused about whether or not one’s vision is from God or whether it is just something generated from within themselves or some other source. This is an important question, but the answers to solve the issue are not all that complicated. Basically, with rigorous honesty examine the vision with the following criteria in mind.

First of all, a genuine God-given vision is something for which you are going to feel a great deal of passion. We all have things that we are interested in, things that capture our attention of a time, and even things that excite us. But a God-inspired vision is different. A God-given vision is something you are super-charged about pursuing and makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. A God-inspired vision may even keep you up at night.

In addition, a vision from God is energizing. It gives you the power and the persistence to God the extra mile, even when things are going the way you expected. In short, a vision from God does not crumble at the first sign of trouble. Instead, when our vision is from God, we continually look for solutions to whatever difficulties may arise. We are able to tap into our resources of creativity and “out-of-the-box” thinking. If our vision is from God, passion and energy are not hard to find.

This doesn’t mean we won’t get tired. On the contrary, we may find ourselves exhausted from time to time, but this tiredness is a positive sense of exhaustion that comes from consistently and persistently applying ourselves to the pursuit of godly goals. In fact, if our vision is truly from God we may have to learn ways to slow ourselves down, relax, and conserve our resources.

Another issue involved in evaluating the source of vision is the Kingdom of God. Is this vision in some direct way involved in helping establish God’s kingdom here on earth? If it is, then chances are it is a God-inspired vision. Inherent in this question is another question: Does this vision help others, inspire others, and in some way build others up? In essence, we also ask: Is this vision unselfish? If you can answer these questions in the affirmative, you can generally assume that your vision is from God.

These are just a few of the initial principles you can use in evaluating a particular vision. There are, of course, other principles that may or may not be involved. For example, we can normally expect to meet with at least a modicum of resistance to pursuing our vision and sometimes this resistance comes from unexpected quarters. For example, our family may find our call to vision not to their liking.

This is where things can get tricky.

I recall, for example, an old friend of mine who we will call Stan. The oldest of five children, Stan had four sisters and an ailing father. Stan’s family was, by local standards, fairly well off. Stan’s great-grandfather had bought several thousand acres of prime farm land way back in the 19^th Century. As the city began to grow, especially in the 1970’s, this farm land was the envy of developers far and wide. Stan’s grandfather sold much of the land, made a fortune, and invested wisely. The result was that Stan’s father was a millionaire many times over and owned a highly successful commercial real estate business that was also doing quite well.

It was a given that Stan, the oldest and the only male child, would some day take over the business and look after the family fortune. Stan attended the finest private boys’ school in the state and was accepted into Colgate University, a fine Ivy League institution. Everything was running smoothly until Stan’s junior year.

An Episcopalian since birth, Stan’s religious upbringing was at best window dressing. The family attended church fairly regularly and gave plenty of money to their local parish. Stan’s father, in fact, served for years on the church vestry.

In college, Stan did not attend church and had pretty much relegated his relationship with God to the back burner. He believed in God and tried to live a decent life and, with the exception of an occasional bender after a football game, avoided the life of a typical drunken college student. He had a Bible in his off campus apartment, but had never unpacked it since moving out of the dorm in his sophomore year at Colgate.

 Driving home at the conclusion of the fall semester, Stan car began making strange noises and eventually stalled right in the middle of small town in rural Virginia. It was around noon on Saturday and the only mechanic in town told Stan he might as well find a motel, because it would be Monday before he could get the needed parts to fix Stan’s car.

Stan settled in at one of two local motels, phone home to say he would be home on Tuesday, and flipped on the television. Nothing interested Stan so he decided to take a stroll. Just down the street from the motel was a church, which for some odd reason, was packed out on a Saturday night. The parking lot was full to overflowing and people were still arriving. A young couple, walking toward the building from their car, greeted Stan and he asked what was happening. The couple told Stan that this was the closing night of a week long revival and they invited Stan to join them. Figuring he had nothing better to do, Stan decided to take them up on their invitation.

Stan had never been to a revival before and nothing could have prepared him for what he had walked into. Not only was this a revival, it was a Pentecostal revival, complete with loud praise music, jumping, yelling, and most bizarre, tongue speaking.

Fast forward to the end of the school year when Stan returned home to inform his parents that he wouldn’t be returning to Colgate for his senior year and instead, would be transferring to some small Bible College in Missouri, where he would enter seminary and become a preacher in the Assemblies of God denomination.

Stan’s mother literally passed out and his father went absolutely berserk. After much prayer Stan was still convinced that the vision he had was indeed from God and, although he met much resistance from every member of his family, he followed through with his plans and his ministry has blessed many people over the years, including his mother and two sisters who became active members of the same denomination as Stan.

The opposite can also be true. There are times when someone feels a genuine call from God to pursue a particular course of action, when in fact, the call may not be genuine. Janice, an old and dear friend, felt that God was calling her to go the mission field in China. She asked that she be placed on one of the LifeBrook China teams and planned to initially go to western China for a two-year stint as a nurse.

I had a few reservations about the “call” that Janice felt and discussed those with her. She was open to what I had to say, but said she was convinced that this was what God wanted her to do. I told her we had a medical team leaving for a short trip, three months, and why not try that on for size first.

My concerns stemmed from the fact that Janice had a two-year-old Downs Syndrome son and if she left for the mission field, it would leave the full burden of caring for this child, not to mention their other two kids, on Hank, her husband. I just felt it odd that God would call her away when all of this was going on at home.

As it turned out, Janice went with the three-month mission, but returned at the end of the first month. She found life in China too rough and harsh, and was not able to make the necessary sacrifices that such a calling requires. It was a tough lesson, but she grew a great deal from it.

In most cases, a calling to a vision, if it comes from God, will always involve compassion. It will also most often involve some degree of sacrifice on your part and it will sometimes also necessitate sacrifice from those who are close to you. However, I don’t think a genuine vision from God is going to put your loved ones in harms way.

As I said earlier, in evaluating whether or not a particular vision is from God a key principle involves whether or not the vision creates a vital sense of passion in your life. If the dream you are entertaining brings you to life and gets your engine running at maximum efficiency, then there is a good chance that vision has a divine origin.

 I clearly recall when I began to explore the possibility of going to the mission field in China I felt not only a great excitement, but the passion I felt for this calling gave me a renewed sense of purpose, direction, and usefulness. I had just come through a major health crisis, and the thought of going to China was not even on my radar screen. But it was on God’s screen and once I discovered it and got on board, my life once again moved forward with great passion.

 Dr. Myles Munroe speaks clearly about the connection between passion, purpose, and vision:

Most people have an interest in their destinies, but they have no passion or drive to fulfill them. They don’t really believe the dreams God has put in their hearts. If they do believe them, they don’t do the things that will take them in the direction of fulfilling them. Yet that is what separates the people who make an impact in the world and those who just exist on the planet……Finding something you can put your whole self into will fill your life with new hope and purpose…..When you discover you vision, it will give you energy and passion. Ecclesiastes 9:10 says, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.” The vision in your heart is the spark that will enable you to pursue your dream because, unless you do so with all your enthusiasm and strength, it will not happen. I believe this Scripture expresses a truth that most people miss: You accomplish only what you fight for. Again, if you are merely interested in your dream, it will never come to pass. However, if you are willing to put all your energy into it, then nobody can stop it from succeeding.

In closing, let me also add that it is vital that when you are evaluating the source of a particular dream or vision, don’t press yourself too hard and try to proceed with unnecessary haste. If you want to truly succeed at your life’s calling, you have to consecrate your entire being to that calling. Half-measures will avail you nothing. When you commit yourself to the Master, you commit your total being. The same principle holds true when you commit yourself to his calling on your life. So, please, take your time and thoroughly evaluate your situation.

Trust that if this calling is from God, he will let you know it without equivocation.

© L. D. Turner 2009/ All Rights Reserved

I feel appreciation is vital for living well, but appreciation is not a basic emotion like happiness or sadness so practicing it is our best way to show it.. When we do not show appreciation we disconnect from those around us.

Appreciating people proactively for their good qualities and who they are as well as reactively for when a person has done something for us is key to having successful relationships. Letting someone you love know who they are is important to you can make a big difference. Be honest about how you feel. There is never a better time than now, so just speak from the heart and go for it. I have a very close family. In every area we all are very close. We are a family that is not scared to show emotion, or be honest with one another. This way of being has carried over to my personal relationships with my close circle of friends. I try to never let an oppportunity pass, where if I feel something I say it, I show it. It makes me feel good to be this forthcoming, and honest and I hope that it makes the receiver feel just as good or even better.

Speaking from the heart, being honest, showing appreciation can make all the difference.

Peace and love.

The Already Believing Concept

Ernest Holmes writes throughout the book Creative Mind and Success that positive thinking is not enough when individuals try to live a life of happiness and prosperity.  They must actually subscribe to the concept of already believing.  You must not pray that you obtain something.  You must thank God and the Universe for giving it to you and actually believe that you already have it, this could be called the Ferrari concept.

The Ferrari Concept

David imagines himself as rich successful person with a Ferrari.  After reading about the already believing concept, the concept of actually almost pathologically believing that you already possess what you desire.  David gets into his 1972 Pinto and imagines that it’s a Ferrari.  David really believes that he’s drving a Ferrari.  As he’s drivinhg his Ferrari down the street he sees a beautiful woman in a cherry red convertible and knowing that he’s in his Ferrari and what girl can resist a Ferrari he manages to catch up with her at a stop sign and asks confidently out of his Ferrari if  he could have her phone number.  She looks at David like is this a joke but confidently David gives her a gleaming I’ve got a Ferrari smile and she sees how cute and adorable he is and gives him her phone number.  After this triumph, David decides to get himself a little breakfast, he thinks to himself I can’t possibly drive my Ferrari through McDonalds I’m going to have my breakfast somewhere where my car won’t stick out so much, so David drives his Ferrari to the Ritz Carlton and orders the continental buffet.  As he is sitting thoroughly enjoying the continental buffet David looks around and sees a major director/producer for a movie.  He overhears the director talking about an editing problem with the script and how he can’t find anyone to translate the script from the foreign language it was written in.  Well the director is talking so loud the lady two tables down from David  says shush.  The director guy looks at David and smiles, David smiles back and says I’m sorry I overheard your conversation but I am fluent in the languages that you spoke about, the director is thrilled and says if you can do what you say you can do I’ll pay you $300,000 dollars if you can do it in three days.  David is now officially Ferrari guy, as he walks to his car it wont start the Director happens to be walking out as David is going back in to the Ritz to retrieve the phone he left and David mentions his car won’t start Director guy in a trusting spirit says I’ll take you where you need to go the Valet pulls up with director guys red Ferrari and promptly takes him to his date with convertible girl who is overwhelmed and takes David home..  THE END

The above is Ernest Holmes illustration that it is not enough to hope you must actually have the already believing attitude because with that attitude comes the benefits of already having, people are not always responding to what others have but the attitude that they embody because of having.

connect with me on twitter @blackhippychick

About eight months after becoming a quadriplegic, I was enduring a particularly difficult time.  I’d been blessed, and up to that time hadn’t really gone through and depression of any kind.  But, now it seemed as though things were beginning t mount.   I was more frustrated, depressed and discouraged and down than I had ever been since the accident.

I had been taught often about of the power of gratitude in the home I grew up in, and felt that if I had any chance to find a way out of the darkness my feelings had brought with them, it would be in large part because of some increase in my own gratitude.

In an effort to find a way to feel blessed, I pulled out a piece of notebook paper from my backpack and numbered it to 100.  I felt like 100 would be a lot, but nothing that couldn’t be easily handled in 15-20 minutes.

I was right—about the first 25.  They were simple and easy.  They were the big ones—stuff like family and friends, where I lived and what I had.

The second 25 took a little more thought.  The third 25 really made me think.  And, at 16, in order to finish the last 25, I wrote down anything I could see.  I was thankful for stuff like light bulbs, pencils, and the tacks that held up the posters in my room.

In fact, Number 99 on my list was the fact that I could pick my nose. (For more about that read here.)

It took the entire afternoon and most of the evening, but, when I was finished, I had my list.  Just having it in my hands made me more grateful; and by being more grateful, I began to feel the beginnings of a more positive attitude.

Through the next weeks and months, every time I felt down or depressed, frustrated or fraught with negativity, I pulled out my list—and each time I read my list, I started concentrating on what I did have and quit worrying about what I didn’t.  This new tool helped me to see the best and forget the worst.

This Thanksgiving I have been thinking about that original list more than usual.  So, in the spirit of the season and in honor of the original list, I spent some time yesterday creating a new list.

The thing that surprised me the most, was that my heart was as lifted as much this time as it was when I created the original list on that lined notebook paper all those years ago.

Here it is then.  I share it with you hoping that maybe seeing mine will inspire you to make a list of your own.  If you will, I promise a spirit filled with gladness and hope and a excellent tool in the fight to stay positive.

Remember what I’ve said before, “There’s not enough room in the human heart for depression and gratitude at the same time.”

Jh-

Jason Hall’s 100 Things To Be Thankful For

1. My Faith
2. Kolette
3. Coleman
4. Mom
5. Dad
6. Kendra
7. Clinton
8. Brandon
9. Nathan
10. Mom Coleman
11. Dad Coleman
12. Brothers & Sisters In-Law
13. Grandparents
14. Nieces
15. Nephews
16. Living in the United States
17. Chance To Have Freedom of Religion
18. Power Wheelchairs
19. Accessible Vans
20. Opportunity to get the best Healthcare
21. Powerful Friends
22. My Car
23. Our Home
24. Heat
25. Air Conditioning
26. Clothing
27. Computers
28. iPhone (and the return of the bar phone)
29. Voice Recognition Software
30. National Ability Center
31. Disabled Skiing
32. Bi-Skii’s
33. Sight
34. Hearing
35. Sense of Smell
36. Full Use of My Mental Faculties
37. Growing up in Boise
38. The Chance to live in The Eastern US
39. Interfecal Pumps
40. Graduating with my High School Class
41. Attending BYU
42. Working as BYUSA President—and all the people I worked with
43. IVF
44. I CSI
45. TESI
46. Rock Band
47. The Million Dollar Round Table
48. Mutual Of New York (and the people there)
49. Garrett Burger, Large Gems, and a Cherry Scotch and Soda
50. The Bible
51. The Book of Mormon
52. My Testimony
53. My Eternal Marriage
54. Pistachio Dessert
55. My Eagle Scout
56. The Scouting Program
57. The Chance To Serve
58. Football
59. Words Written in my Journal by my Mom When I Was a Kid
60. Baby Ruth Bars
61. Broadway Musicals
62. Cougars, Cowboys, Jazz, Celtics, Yankees, Real Salt Lake
63. My Letterman Jacket
64. The Ten Lepers by Jack Christensen
65. Electricity
66. Television
67. Ability to Move My Arms
68. Atonement
69. Repentance
70. Fasting
71. Prayer
72. Plan of Salvation
73. Miracles
74. My Boys in New Canaan
75. The YM in Syracuse
76. Optimism
77. The Ability to Speak Publically
78. Disability Insurance
79. Workmans Comp
80. The Inspiration to Go to Work on 21 November 1997
81. Great Nurses
82. Great Neighbors
83. My Cousin David
84. Love of Singing (and how it literally saved my life)
85. Family History
86. Great Music
87. Uplifting Music
88. Movies
89. Showers/Shower Chair
90. Forgiveness
91. Repentance
92. Having Kolette at My Side.
93. Good Parking
94. Straws
95. Ramps
96. Elevators
97. Family Dinners
98. Goals
99. The Fact That I Can Pick My Nose
100. Lists of Gratitude

It doesn’t cost you anything to think.  Your thoughts are as free as free can get.  And those thoughts will bring you ideas of what you desire and those thoughts breed feelings and focus of what you want and that is all free as well.  So why can’t the life you want, that comes from your thoughts and feelings, come free and clear right to you?  The start of it all is free and so is the end result.  Everything else will fill in between the lines. Free thought, free end result, and free in between as long as you envision just that.

We had such a wonderful day yesterday.  Loads of family, loads of food, and loads of laughter…just as it should be.  Mom is doing very well.  She is still feeling good.  Yesterday kind of took it out of her but I can hear the coffee grinder going this morning so she’s got her energy back.  I have so much to be thankful for and you are one of thankful thoughts.

www.bethandleemccain.com