Okay, this week I am all wound up! Our application/ plan of action was chosen by the VA Department of Health and we have been awarded funds to start a new teen dating violence prevention project in our community. We will be offering the “Choose Respect” curriculum to as many faith based youth groups in our community as possible.

 It will start with a kick off event in January. We will gather as many youth group leaders as possible to learn about the Choose Respect program. We will be offering the training, learning materials, activities, and technical assistance to any and all faith based organizations. Two lucky organizations will have our own RCASA outreach and education team come and facilitate activities and programming with the teens, parents, and leaders of their particular organization. We will of course be able to fuse the values of the faith community with the values of respect and healthy relationships of the curriculum.

 Choose Respect Overview- From the Choose Repect Press Kit

Choose Respect is an initiative to help youth form healthy relationships to prevent dating abuse before it starts. This national effort is designed to motivate youth to challenge harmful beliefs about dating abuse and take steps to form respectful relationships.

The Need

Unhealthy relationship behaviors can start early and last a lifetime. According to recent research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 1 in 11 youth reports being a victim of physical dating abuse. Even more startling, youth who report experiencing dating abuse are also more likely to report binge drinking, suicide attempts, physical fighting, and current sexual activity.

The Goal

Choose Respect is designed to encourage positive action on the part of youth to form healthy, respectful relationships. Research for the initiative shows most youth have positive, healthy attitudes about their relationships with others. Choose Respect seeks to reinforce and sustain these positive attitudes among youth as they get older and begin to enter dating relationships by:

Providing effective messages for youth, parents, caregivers, and teachers that encourage them to establish healthy and respectful relationships.

Creating opportunities for youth and communities to support healthy and respectful relationships.

The Audience

Choose Respect reaches out to youth ages 11–14 because they’re still forming attitudes and beliefs that will affect how they are treated and how they treat others. The initiative also connects with parents, teachers, youth leaders, and other supportive adults who influence the lives of youth.

A recent inspection of northern eateries serving dog meat, vegetables and shrimp paste has revealed alarming unhygienic practices and the presence of cholera bacterium in some foods.

Tran Nhu Duong, deputy head of the Hanoi-based National Institute of Hygiene and Epidemiology, told a seminar December 22 that health inspectors had recently investigated some 30 street eateries selling dog meat in Hanoi.

Twenty-five of the eateries were found operating without a food safety and hygiene certificate; 15 prepared food next to a restroom; 19 used unwashed raw vegetables; and 27 served day-old meat.

More worrying, samples of vegetables, dog meat and shrimp paste taken from restaurants and markets in Hanoi and the northern provinces of Hai Phong, Hai Duong, and Thanh Hoa had tested positive for the Vibrio cholera bacterium, said Duong.

The bacteria, spread through contaminated water or food, causes acute intestinal infection which can lead to death if left untreated.

Although cholera in Vietnam has not been as prevalent this year as in the past, 471 cases have been reported in 15 provinces nationwide with one fatality in the northern province of Ninh Binh, said the Department of Preventive Health and Environment.

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Had NO idea how much I rely on computers and internet until the comp goes dead. ESPECIALLY four days after starting a daily blog – can you believe the irony. I’m using one of our many pc’s here at the studio / home.

Despite my expensive laptop on the fritz and a few commissions down the tubes I still manage to stay positive and I’ve come to see how I always manage to focus on a positive future…

By finding a solution to any setbacks and turning those solutions into goals, I keep my mind set on solutions and attract the desired result. Simple.

No matter how shitty your situation – find a solution and obsess over that rather than than crap mud your boots are stuck in.

Tom Ford, come to find out, is not the “Searchers” guy. That’s John Ford. Right. Yeah, I think that guy’s dead. But I knew I’d read somewhere that this Tom was famous for something. And research indeed reveals that Tom Ford had been the renowned creative director for Gucci, and now he’s made his impressive directorial debut in film. This background knowledge explains a lot.

It explains, at least, why half of “A Single Man” could be freeze-framed and repurposed as a spread in Vogue: exotic-looking faces, arresting landscapes, bodies reposeful and often naked or nearly. Bad thing? Not necessarily (especially if you’re a lady). But period-piece hounds and Mad Men-crazy moviegoers expecting that same early-60s aesthetic won’t find it. It’s a different kind of pretty.

In fact, I would hesitate to call this a period-piece at all; the Missile Crisis era is little more than a backdrop and a context here. Unfortunately, I haven’t read the Christopher Isherwood novel this movie is based on, so I can’t say what’s been sifted out of the original, but in this movie, the prevailing politics of this time are nothing but the falling axe. The movie is the story of the mess it’s made.

L.A.-based English professor George Falconer (Colin Firth) is faced with swallowing each new day like a horse pill after Jim (Matthew Goode), his lover of 16 years, dies in a car accident while visiting his family. “Get through the goddamned day” has become his meridian mantra and his world has gone gray. Due to the early sixties’ prevailing aversion to homosexuality, George has no real outlet to express his grief; no one wants to hear about it. Thus, he feels trapped in his thoughts. To illustrate, Ford frequently cuts to a shot of Mr. Firth flailing around underwater, the point being that he has no way to bail himself out of his own mind, and he’s drowning in it.

The only time George allows himself to viscerally emote in front of anyone is just after Jim’s cousin—the parents refused to notify him—calls to tell him of the death and informs him that he’s not allowed to attend the service. And the sound in that scene, as he falls sobbing into the arms of his old friend Charlotte (Julianne Moore), is rather brilliantly drowned out by the downpour of rain outside.

The movie follows George through one day—a day that, according to his morning narration, will be “different.” And we see how it will be different as he tosses his handgun into his bag, buys bullets, retrieves his insurance papers from his bank vault, gives a lecture to his students about Fear, and refuses sex from an annoyingly handsome young Spaniard whom Mr. Ford obviously plucked from his hefty male-model rolodex. This day will be his last.

Accompanied by well placed cries of weepy string instruments, Mr. Firth’s performance is close to perfection. He does such a job selling his unhappiness and his exhausted, irreconcilable  existence that we actually want him to squeeze the trigger. It’s for his own good. We can’t stand to see him live like this.

The movie, of course, is full of flashbacks, which, to many a critics’ dismay, all manifest themselves as overly wrought set pieces. One takes place, for example, on a breathtaking outcropping of desert rocks. The couple is sunning themselves and talking, but the shot is panned out far enough where you can’t help but take in the background terrain. Initially I wanted to criticize the director for making the flashbacks unrealistically beautiful. Then I realized that Mr. Ford was being Joycean, and that this is exactly how a grieving person would remember time with a loved one. The moment would be colored, magnified, and glossed, any imperfections filled in with cerebral Pulchriputty until it was torture-yourself beautiful. We’ve all been there, I think, staining the wood of our memories.

I’m looking forward to more from Tom Ford. He’s obviously a brilliant designer who knows how to make an awesome picture. That’s half the battle in film making, in my opinion. And he seems to have put a lot of thought into how to reflect the psychology of the characters with his visuals.

However, I’m afraid this film will be pigeon-holed as a “gay” movie when it’s really about grief and loss, eliciting the same emotions as, say, Joan Didion’s Year of Magical Thinking. Colin Firth’s performance is ridiculously good and should be seen by all…especially when juxtaposed with conjunctionless teleprompter performance of high-cheeked former child star Nicholas Hoult, who I’m not entirely sure isn’t a robot.

Bavu’s Revue airs every Wednesday afternoon from 3-5pm on the Voice and Soul of Austin, Texas, KAZI 88.7 FM
You can stream the station live 24/7/365 at www.kazifm.org

Bavu’s Revue 2/23/09 Playlist

Melanie Fiona – It Kills Me
Sade – Soldier of Love
Faith Evans – Faithfully

D. Black feat Marissa – Yesterday
D. Rose and DJ Cozmos – Beautiful World
Kam Moye – Let’s Be Honest

Fred Hammond – Awesome God
N’Dambi – The World Is A Beat
Mary Mary – Get Up

Mavado – Hope And Pray
Tarrus Riley – Let Peace Reign

Ruff Endz – Someone To Love You (Album Mix)

Vohn Beatz And M-Pak – Boombaptism
Lecrae – Change
Dead Prez – Helpful
Maxwell feat Nas – Help Somebody
Ledisi – Higher Than This
D’Angelo – Higher

NNeka feat Jay Electronica – Walking
Emily King feat Lupe Fiasco – Walk In My Shoes (Remix)

Tamia – Can’t Get Enough
Joe – Can’t Get Over You
Earth, Wind & Fire – Can’t Hide Love

Funk Brothers – Bernadette (Instrumental)
Raphael Saadiq – Staying In Love
PPP feat Karma Stewart – On A Cloud

Marcus Miller – Optimism

IF anybody was planning to get me a present, I don’t mind anything at all! But if you totally are clueless to buy me something… *cough Cough* i do have a few ideas… haha like this :

I gotta thing with necklaces

and before we move on the CHRISTMAS SPECIAL WAS GREAT ! love everyone who helped out!

There are two types of people during this time of year – the NEGATIVE people, and the POSITIVE people.
and no, there are no in-between people. ever. you side with the negative, or you side with the positive. Even though it’s not like these people are al war with each other, they are at War with the Holiday season as a whole. Oh yeah, its a war alright.

the NEGATIVE people –
I really don’t understand these people. It’s all about the material needs, the money, the bajoobajoes for these people. I get that this Holiday season is a bit stressful, but hey, pessimistic moods are never welcome, at least not in my world. Even good people can become like this during the Holiday season, they become total jerks that don’t listen to other people. Yepp, it gets pretty annoying. Don’t get angry because your not getting any presents this year. It’s the season of giving, just remember that. You don’t have enough money to give? there must be ENOUGH just to buy a little thing for the people you love. You don’t have people you love? Maybe the reason why is because of your ATTITUDE. get a life. And even while i’m talking to these kind of people, they’d probably go into a deep reason to why I dont have a life and trying to turn the conversation around to me. I can fight with these people all day, but they are sure boring.

the POSITIVE people -
which i believe, most people will fall under this category. even though there is stress, you still end up smiling in the end. Singing is a major part of being this kind of person. Dang, its the holiday season, who cares if you sing bad? except for the negative people. Who suck by the way. Keep on singing, the only problem is, don’t be too positive, no one likes that anyways.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! sharing is caring, Give as much as you can. The best gifts are priceless, maybe, you laugh, something as little as that, would be treasured as the best present, during this season. CHEERS

ⓛⓞⓥⓔ megi (｀-´)>

“Joseph Smith loved learning even though he had few opportunities for formal education. In his journals, he spoke happily of days spent in study and often expressed his love of learning. Joseph taught the Saints that knowledge was a necessary part of our mortal journey, for “a man is saved no faster than he [gains] knowledge,” and that “whatever principle of intelligence we attain … in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection.” During challenging times, it is even more important to learn. The Prophet Joseph taught, “Knowledge does away with darkness, [anxiety], and doubt; for these cannot exist where knowledge is.”

We have come a long way since the internet first appeared many years ago. Thanks to search engines like Google and Yahoo! Search, we can now easily find information about almost anything and everything, from answers to  ‘How to’ questions to deep philosophical questions and debates. It can probably be a substitute to a human teacher!

Social Networking Sites (SNS) have also revolutionized the way in which people, predominantly youngsters up to the age of 35, connect to each other. Such sites are used to send messages via ‘comments’ and through private messaging, which are (in most sites) free of charge. Visits to these sites dominate a youngster’s net-surfing time (see Tancer, 2008). Since most social networking sites allow their users to update their profile pages, users spend a lot of time changing their pictures, status, profile backgrounds, layouts and music. By doing so, they can either be the person they are, or the person they want to be. In effect, SNS give individuals freedom to express themselves and present themselves in ways that only they have control on. SNS also allow people to find long lost friends and create new acquaintances.

Online dating services are also available. These sites provide people the chance to meet potential partners by browsing user profiles. People with social phobias may find these services useful as they don’t have to meet someone unless they are satisfied with that person’s profile. Chatting to potential partners online can save them a lot of money that could have been spent on a potentially horrible first date (which can obviously still happen). Given that there is a well-known risk that criminals could be hunting for their next victim via dating sites and SNS, one can still find these services useful, provided that they use them with caution.

The internet can also give someone respite from personal problems. Websites such as PostSecret.blogspot.com and experienceproject.com give anyone the chance to anonymously write life stories, even personal issues and problems. The internet,  being a non-judgemental ‘listener’, become a ‘friend’ or a ’safe haven’ for people who have issues.Some websites allow strangers to comment and/or give advice to a person’s problem. Also, by using search engines, one can find information about issues concerning their private lives that can be too shameful to discuss with friends and family.

Even though there are a lot of potential setbacks for using the internet, by looking through the list above, we can see that the internet can be a big help for those who use it properly and with caution.

With each book that is accepted for publication, you take one more step toward your dream—becoming a self-supporting, fully established author whose name is well-known and whose books are cherished. But along the way toward your dream, there are a few pitfalls which could not only inhibit your career but tarnish your reputation. Just as you wouldn’t want to become known as a troublesome employee, you don’t want to develop a reputation as the author from…well, you know.

So with each step you take, you must make a choice to be the same person you’ve always been, or even, become a better you. Hopefully, you won’t make these choices as they can and will create an image of a less than desirable author.

Fight with your editor on every edit

As much as we hate them, edits are a necessary evil in this industry. Even if you think your book is polished until it gleams like Mr. Clean’s gold earring, an editor is going to discover ways to make it better. He or she will help you clean up flowery prose, sweep away mechanical and typographical errors, and add commas where they’re supposed to be.

No, you won’t agree with everything your editor suggests, and that’s where diplomacy comes in. Just as you would, hopefully, discuss an issue with a co-worker, you should discuss your concerns with your editor and work toward a resolution together.

Continually want more than what is afforded you in your contract

Before you sign away the rights to your book, know what the trade-off will be. Once you’ve informed yourself, understand that the contract is a valid, legal document. You can’t expect more than what is specified in your contract, and while you can certainly ask for additional benefits, do not expect them. It’s unfair to the publisher and will create dissension that’s unnecessary and potentially detrimental to your career.

Badmouth your current publisher

Okay, so something has occurred. Maybe your release date has been pushed back a couple of times, your editor lost your edits, and you can’t seem to get her to e-mail you back. As much as the eighth grader in you wants to start singeing the publisher by posting vicious comments all across the world wide web, please think about your actions very carefully.

Anything you send out into cyberspace will remain in written form for all the world to see for a very long time. There’s no taking back the words, and they will be available for any publisher/editor/agent to see. Do you really want a potential publisher to see that you trashed your current publisher because you didn’t agree with something that was going on? What are the odds that you’re going to agree with everything your publisher does? Do you agree with everything your friends do? Your spouse does?

There are proper steps which can be taken in the above instances which don’t involve campaigns designed to eviscerate the publisher.

This isn’t to say that, if you’re involved with a publisher who treats its authors badly, makes constant errors, is regularly late with royalty payments, and other issues that suggest questionable business practices, you shouldn’t shine a light on those  problems. But there is a big difference between a bad publisher and a bad author.

Just remember that the words you write can come back to haunt you, and that, in spite of how large the publishing industry seems to be, it really does have a back fence and a grape vine.

Establish yourself as a know-it-all

You’ve written a book, possibly two or more, and while the world congratulates you, it understands that you have not learned all the intricacies of the publishing industry or writing itself. You still have things to learn. You will always have things to learn. So assuming that your publications mean you’ve achieved the ultimate in knowledge is not only a bad assumption, but it can also lead to an overactive ego.

While there’s nothing wrong with sharing the knowledge that’s gotten you to where you are, you don’t want to present yourself as the be-all and end-all of knowledge, the Wizard, if you will. You need to leave room for the possibility that you don’t know everything there is to know in this business.

We’ve all seen those people who pop up everywhere on the Internet and television who have an opinion on every topic and believe that opinion is fact. Now, think of how irritating that person is. Is that the impression you want your readers and other authors to have of you?

Discuss other authors negatively

While it’s entirely possible there will be authors you meet that you don’t click with–it may be one of the know-it-alls as discussed above—I can’t stress enough that letting the world know what you think of that person isn’t the best career move you can make. So if you have an opinion about another author, it’s best to keep it to yourself.

Forums, blogs, and websites offer content about authors, everything from reviews to rants, and it’s easy to get wrapped up in the rumors and gossip taking place, even easier to login and state your opinion. But is it really that important for the world to know what you think about an author? Important enough to risk your reputation?

Continually remind readers and other authors about you contest wins and how well you’ve done (boasting)

When an author wins an award, places in a contest, and receives great reviews, it’s only natural that he/she will want to announce these successes to the world. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of yourself for these accomplishments, and to a certain extent, some back-patting is encouraged. However, there does come a time when the constant reminder of your successes becomes overbearing and pretentious. Plainly put, how many times do you think your readers need to know that your book placed second in a contest three years ago?

Discuss any negative dealings you’ve had with previous publishers in query letters

When submitting a query letter to a new publisher, an agent, or an editor, you should never speak negatively about any publisher regardless of what might have happened. Why? Because you don’t know who knows who in this business, and the last thing you want to do is come across as someone who likes to talk about others.

You want to put your best foot forward in any type of correspondence with potential publishers or agents, and conducting yourself in a professional manner is paramount.

Tell agents/publishers about the difficulties you’ve had with every publisher/agent

While it’s entirely possible that you will experience difficulties with a publisher or an agent during your career as an author, it is not necessary for you to detail those difficulties when you approach a new contact in the industry. You may be thinking you believe the agent should know that you believe you’re being black-balled, but, in all honesty, no publisher is going to take the time to attempt to destroy your career, at least not a legitimate one.

Whatever you do, don’t create a negative image of yourself by unloading all of your bad experiences onto a potential agent. Most likely, you will send that agent running for the hills. After all, how can he/she know you won’t discuss them in the same manner should something not go your way?

We can’t control everything that happens to us in life, but we can control who we become. The price of success should not be your reputation. Protect it as much as you do your copyrights.

What were your dreams when you a kid?
Are you living up to the 11 year old version of yourself?The one that had endless amounts of hopes and dreams, and an imagination that knew no boundaries?

What if you had the same limitless and creative approach in 2010 that you had when you were 10 years old? What would your life be like and what would be different?

How would you approach your business?

Here is a FUN and QUICK activity that you can do to reignite the flame of your childhood for a SUPER successful 2010!

With an open heart, a fearless mind and a blank piece of paper and some colored pencils…try this:

Map out 2010, as if the words “no” and “can’t” did not exist. If time, money and resources were unlimited what would your business be like in 2010? Literally draw out all aspects of your business, like a blueprint. When you hit a block, think of what your disney-inspired 10 year old self would say…”The possibilities are endless.”

“Let your conscious be your guide.” -jiminy cricket.

Now….as you continue to make this creative roadmap for 2010 think of other areas of your life that you are neglecting or that are left unnourished, unbalanced, unfulfilled, etc. On that same piece of paper, in a different color, depict what 2010 will bring in these areas of your life:
- love
- success
- money/finances
- spiritual
- FUN (hobbies, extracurricular, etc)
- health/fitness

We are about a week away from a new year and a new decade. The time is NOW to start taking action, making changes and improving your life . You CAN start living the life of your dreams, and it CAN start NOW.

Now that you’ve created your blueprint for your dreams, hang it high, somewhere you can revisit it. Check back to your drawing from time to time, have a moment with your drawing and encompass what it represents. Think of your 10 year old self, the one who believes that anything is possible. Don’t wait another day….make it happen today.

After all, those are YOUR dreams…what’s it worth to ya?

Here are a few moer resources to help you on your way to a SUPER succesful 2010!

- work with a professional to help you get clear of the past and let go of the weights you’ve been carrying all these years.

- hire a coach to help you create a success strategy that will work with you to help make your dreams a reality.

- make a list of to-dos…as you skim through the list, next to each item decide whether you will DO it, DUMP it, DELEGATE it, make a DECISION, DROP it (dry cleaning anyone?)….you get the point!

The clock is ticking….Cheers!

The holiday season is upon us, the one thing I have picked up highly from everyone, there has been to much focus on the negative. Or what you don’t like and/or want, we all have a family member or a relative who we put up with, someone that speaks very loudly or puts his/her feet in everyone’s way. Or maybe someone’s cooking you don’t like.

I see to much stress and people thinking about the aspects they don’t like and little or no focus on what’s positive.  One of my all time favorite movie’s is a Knight’s Tale, comes to mind here, it is the story of a man who is a commoner and has a dream of becoming a knight.

It is a story of strength, character and determination, he (Will) has a dream and isn’t afraid to go against the odds to live it that dream. Someone who faces many trials and when he is found out for being a commoner and is told to run, stays to face what may come in the name of honor and pride and what he believes in.

There are many good life lessons in the movie such as having a dream and believing in it, and my favorite lesson of all. The knight Will, said that his father told him to take the good with the bad, so he does. It is one of my favorite lesson to live by because it teaches you to take the Good with the Bad but not focus on it.

In the past 3 or 4 weeks I have far to many experiences of taking the good with the bad and it is if anything not a pretty picture painted. To many people are focusing their attention on the things they don’t like and are stressed over the things that can’t be helped.
Be it, the person(s) who get on your nerves, or something you have to do but are dreading and put off or any number of things. The trouble with that is you are focusing to much on what you don’t like and are not giving much, if any, attention to the things you do like.

What do you think that is doing for you? It is very simply attracting to you more of what you don’t want. Yep that’s right you are making things worse then they need be, what you focus on you expend and create more of that to experience, because your attention on it says you like it.

If you focus on the positive you expend that and the same is true of the negative, take a simple thing. Beauty for example, if you were to focus your attention for a whole day or even just an hour you would see so much beauty you may not even believe it possible.

The same also happens when you put your attention on something like someone being rude and make a big deal out of it. After which you may notice that throughout the rest of your day people react the same way as the person you first noticed being rude or just a bit different but they can have the same affect on you.

Why is that? Because you are putting all of your focus on that and you are getting more of it because you are magnet. You are attracting more of the same because you are putting your thoughts and emotions on it and since the universe likes to give you what you want, there you go.

It delivers you that which you put your focused thought, energy and emotion behind which translates into energy in-motion. It brings you more of the likeness of your thoughts and emotions because it seems that is what you want, otherwise why focus on it?

If you say you do not want that at all then you need to pay close attention to what you think about and in terms of the emotions you feel from those things. They are your star attractors, now you may not think you can change how you feel about or think of someone or something.

In all actuality you are the only one who can and furthermore you can change how you choose to take something said or did. You can also change how you react to things and/or not react, instead you can count to ten and think about how to handle a circumstance of situation.

At the same time you can also take stock and pay more attention to what your focus is on and look for something positive. In fact you could even make a game out of counting out and writing down how many little positive things you saw in one hour alone.

It could be the simplest little thing but it could have the biggest impact on you and your whole day. One of the best things you can possibly do is to start off your day, knowing that you have full control over how you see and react to the things around you.

You choose how your day goes based on your thoughts, emotions and reactions, so make sure your thoughts and emotions. Are focused towards creating something you would like to experience. You can do that by asking yourself if something you said is going to create something you would like to keep for a lifetime.

Or if it is something you would want to discard later on, and by those means you will better know if you are creating joy or sadness. Another thing for you to think about is; if you focus on fear, worry or something you don’t like, you have no power to consciously change it.

At the same time you also have very little energy to come up with a creative solution to the problem. Because negative focus steals it away like a thief and only conscious awareness can change that for you.

So take time out to focus on taking deep breathes and reminder yourself create your world and you have the power to make it what you want.

Today I’m thankful for the rare occasion when I have just enough paper left to wrap my last present. I’m a little OCD when it comes to gift wrap, so I get really excited when I’m able to use the entire roll without wasting any. I know the holidays aren’t all about the presents, but the pretty gifts always make them more fun and enjoyable. I love how something so simple can transform a plain box into a festive package and bring holiday cheer to its giver and recipient. Happy holidays everyone!

Today’s ‘Live Better With Willie Jolley’ Tip: The Twelfth Day of Christmas – “Share The Gift of Faith!”
St. Augustine said, “Understanding is the reward of faith, therefore seek not to understand that you might believe, but rather to believe so you might understand!” This Christmas, I encourage you to have faith, share faith, livewith faith and love with faith. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. In a time of constant change many people lose hope. They are afraid to fly, afraid to drive and some are afraid to leave home. It is in these times that you need faith. Faith in your dreams, faith in yourself and faith in a God who will never leave you or forsake you! The old folks used to say, “To have faith is to step out on a sea of nothing and believe you will land on something!” As you go into this new year, I recommend you step out… step out on faith!!!! This Christmas, share the gift of faith!

Today I’m thankful for the ability to talk to my friends and coworkers any time with only a few simple clicks. Since I work from home and have friends all over the world, the convenience of instant messaging is simply wonderful. It helps me stay in touch more easily and work more quickly and efficiently. Without this piece of technology, I would barely be able to “talk” to one of my best friends – who I now get to “speak” with every day – and would feel complete isolation from my job and coworkers. I love the way that something so simple can brighten my day and instantly help me feel close to some of my favorite people, even if they’re far away.

I really hope to find a job in the new year.  It’s one of my goals.  I haven’t been able to find one yet but I know I’m not alone in this.  So many people have lost their jobs.  I am so grateful to have my family.  I don’t know what I would do without them.  But I am not going to give up!  As the saying goes, “You can’t win the race if you aren’t in it!”  Or maybe I just made that up.  But it is true either way!  Every chance I take is another shot at victory.  I learn things from every new experience and someday I know I will learn  enough to make it! 

I want you to keep trying to no matter what the odds.  I know that someday we will make it together!  Do any of you have stories of finally succeeding after many attempts?  I would love to hear them!  They would give me and everyone hope!  Thanks so much!

Freedom is more than a condition that exists for us in the physical world. It is an internal condition as well. Freedom is the essence of our being. The word freedom implies our right to choose what works best for us, to choose who we want to be.

How wonderful that, no matter our circumstances, we are free to define ourselves as we see fit. We are free to change and grow. We are free to release those things in our lives for which we no longer have use, or have outgrown. We are free to adopt any life-enhancing attitude or behavoir that we desire. We are free to act on our own behalf, to set boundaries, to receive love in the way we choose to. Most importantly, we are free to love ourselves as we walk through our own unique life journeys. There are no limitations on where we will arrive- only those we set for ourselves.

A life well lived is about freedom from the bondage of our past–from past messages or actions that once did us harm, or from our own behavoirs and beliefs that have kept us trapped in a “victim mentality.” How we view ourselves is our choice.

Today we are free not only to survive, but also to thrive. We are free to grow, to pick ourselves up when we stumble, to help others along the way. We are free to “grow where we are planted,” no matter where that might be.

Today, no matter where we are in our journey, we are finally free to love ourselves. It is our right. We are good enough.

Remind yourself today that you are free to grow both spiritually and intellectually. We are works in progress. We do not allow circumstances to stand in our way. Today is the day to claim the freedom to be your best and to do your best in accomplishing your heart’s desire.  Ask yourself, What do I most wish for? What do I want to do? In a life without limitations, what is my greatest desire?  Then claim this desire.

Know that, despite the situations in your life, you hold a unique place in the universe- the greatest gift you can give yourself is to claim this place in the universe.  Stretch out your arms- embrace the freedom that is divinely yours!

“What can you do to enable positive attitudes as the struggle continues so those around you don’t get frustrated with your struggle recovery?”  Marla

This question came in from a Success 2.0 Webcast

Marla, here are a couple of ideas for you:

Be an example and have the attitude you want others to have.  Those who are around you the most will respond to whatever attitude you have the most.  If you are going through a struggle and they see you embracing it, moving forward, looking for the bright side, and working hard to improve the situation, this will encourage them.

Express gratitude.  Let those around you know that you are thankful for many things, including their support, love, and encouragement.

Understand you can’t change everybody.  Some of the people around you may continue to react negatively and remain frustrated.  By being the right kind of person and doing the things you need to do to help the situation, you have the peace of mind to understand that they are not frustrated with you, but with the situation.  They may “take it out” on you from time to time, and after this occurs you may want to have a talk with them.  The purpose of this talk will be to ask them, “Are you frustrated with me, or the situation?”  Then listen.  Chances are good that it will be the situation, especially if you are doing all you can.  If they say it is you, then you will need to understand why.  Perhaps you are doing something that they see as making the situation worse that you have not considered.  If they are right, this is great news because you have more room to improve.  Maybe you just need a time of forgiveness and reconciliation.  Or maybe they are the ones with the problem.  In any case, you need to find out if they are part of your struggle and recovery.

Embrace The Struggle!

Can we take a few days in our busy schedule to just unwind, relax and think about the next steps?

Not only should we do it, but it can be planned just as we map out our business days. Just in little chunks of time, when things quiet down during the holidays.

So it’s Boxing Day, the guests have left and you now have a few quiet hours in front of you; why not sit down with a favorite drink and scribble a few good things that happened in 2009? Just good things.

Then jot down three happy end-results you would like to see happen in 2010. Just three and keep it positive!

Moreover, may all you problems last as long as your New Year resolutions.

Happy Holidays.

Guy

It is a very difficult thing impressing people. I say that if you put your mind to it you could impress anyone you want.

Don’t try to impress people by buying them nice stuff, you will only end up making them love your money and not you.

Make people happy by the things you say about them; you look nice, lovely scarf you’ve got or nice tie that is. Say something good about every person you come across every day before they can get a word out. Even before you say helo just quickly say hey my smiling friend and then say how are you. U will get good conversation with that person and before you know it you will be top notch in you environment. Try it!!

Often it is very difficult to find yourself to a great start in the New Year. There are so many things to keep your head at before the first day of the very brand new year. It might be new pupils in your class, it might be a new project for you and hey it might even be a new life with someone you’ve met.
Whatever it is you always find yourself planning for something which you would not know the end result of. That specifically encounters the whole being of what you are made of and how you will change things to be better. Sometimes you will find yourself starting of too slow and other times in too much of a hurry. Planning must be vital and also realistic. Think of how you are going to face your desires.
Life is short is also something that is in the back of your head, but hey as someone once said: “Life can’t be short; it’s in fact the longest thing in your life ever.” We are all in such a rush to finish things that sometimes don’t have a end result. It is all about the human. What I make is what I get.
One of my friends stated once that: “If you expect less results and you end up getting more you are going to be more impressed with that/it/yourself”. It is like going to a movie. If you think it’s going to be the best movie ever and you are all over excited you find yourself most of the times disappointed. And visa versa.
The way you approach your new year with the mindset of letting other people think it is only going to be a average effort and you putting more in that specific effort is going to have a big end result by the end of next year.
Keep what is expected from you average and then do more. Don’t tell someone you are going to make a million this year and if it doesn’t happen they can walk over you. You only brought it on to yourself. Tell them you are going to make 5 hundred thousand then show them that u have made 8 hundred thousand and remind them frequently of it. It will only make you feel better about yourself by reaching your targets that you have set.

Finally, I’m doing what I love. Taking pictures for others.

Last weekend, I headed out on my very first ‘photoshoot’ to take some pictures for my cousin. 

Before the shoot I was nervous. No really, really, nervous to where I almost cancelled because I wasn’t sure if I was ready. But when I got out there and starting shooting, nothing else mattered. I was enjoying myself and there’s no doubt in my mind that photography is my future.

But in just one short week, I did have one small set back. The same night of the shoot I edited some photos and placed a few on my blog so my cousin could get a quick sneak peek. The next day when I told my family to check out the photos, their response wasn’t what I expected.

No one seemed happy for me at all! I didn’t get any type of congratulations, no job well done, NOTHING!  And to be completely honest I wanted to just give up right then and there. Actually, that night I never even opened the pictures from the shoot, I was so down & depressed. The night prior I had stayed up until almost 2am just looking and making some adjustments and the very next day I ready to call it quits.

I”m not sure why I look to my family for their approval. I’m sure it’s is normal to feel that way, but I don’t have the typical ‘normal’ family. (long story)

Lets get personal for a minute… The reason it’s taken me so long to get Paisley Vaughn Photography off the ground, is because of the lack of confidence I had in myself. For whatever reason, a stranger, a co-worker, ANYBODY could give me a compliment and though I would thank them and appreciate it. It really didn’t matter. I always wanted that same reaction from the people who are my family and I never got it. They’re always the ones who will point out the negative in every situation. And I have since learned to get over it.

I got to a point where I had a stop and take a good look at what I wanted to do; and that’s take pictures. I needed to believe that even if my family didn’t think the photos I took we okay, there’s got to be at least one person in this world that thinks they okay. And it dawned on my that I already knew at least one person who though my pictures we good, ME!

Isn’t that all that matters?

I can’t keep living my life wondering what everyone thinks. If I believe in myself , that’s what matters! I’m doing this for me and not them anyways. I didn’t need their help to get to where I am in my life today, so I realized that I don’t need their help getting to next step in my life and in my photography career.

It’s hard to trust and believe in yourself when you feel like there isn’t anyone else who does. But I believe in my heart that I can do this, and so I will do this.

If I didn’t start seeing myself as a photographer, no one else would.

I now consider myself a PHOTOGRAPHER!

And I’m happy to report that since my cousins photo shoot a week ago, I already booked two other mini sessions. Holla!!!

Do you want to make a difference in the world?

Many people would love to be a person who makes a difference in the world but its so easy to say ‘I’m a nobody…how can I ever make a difference…I’m not smart enough-attractive enough-rich enough-driven enough….”

Just one word can make a difference to someone’s life. It can be a positive word or a negative word but it can have earth shattering effects. We might never know the effect on a person’s life that our words and actions can have. Sometimes it can be the smallest thing and yet someone else will remember it forever.

If we are concious of the effect that we can have on others then we will be a bit more careful about what we say and do. The joke putdown might not mean anything to us but it can be the last straw to someone who is struggling. The careless compliment might make someone’s day.

As we head towards the New Year lets decide that we will err on the side of positive instead of being negative. Let us stive to do ‘random acts of kindness’ not expecting to get anything back. Let us make a difference in the lives of those around us (even the stranger in the street) and in doing so we WILL be making a difference to the world.

‘Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless’ Mother Teresa

When I think of Success-Words I think of the following:  Journey, accomplishments, victory, win, gain, pain, courageous, good luck, happiness, dedication, prosperity, consummation, arrival, achieved and progress…this is a few and there are many more.  There is not a way to ever describe all of what Success is, I don’t think but if we try it might go something like this.

Success is a journey we must take to become what we desire to be or do or to gain.  We cannot have accomplishments without working toward something, anything and we must know that to gain causes pain.  We must be courageous because we will suffer defeat.  It is not usually good luck, it is hard work, dedication, trial and error.  Success is not happiness; happiness is Success.  If we believe in prosperity, we know that first we must strive for excellence.   Success is a journey and it really doesn’t end.

Dedication brings progress, progress leads to attainment.  It is not how long we work toward something, it is how productively we have endured the setbacks and kept on striving.  Success is not something we acquire without blood, sweat and tears…usually.  Everyone would be successful if it cost nothing, there would be no poor, no depressed only contented beings yet unfulfillment without having earned the acquisition.  We must put forth the effort to find the keys to what make Success work.  Weak desires brings weak results and then we have feelings of desperation.  I can’t think of life success without struggles or fulfullment without innovation.  Success cannot come without performance

Success is not something that lazy people go after or even want, they want it to come to them and Success doesn’t just come to anyone; it is sought after and warranted after much effort and fruitful work.  Success is a challenge that everybody doesn’t tackle because it constitutes failure also.  Why?  Because we do not get to Success without some failures along the way but these are the steps that help us learn what works and what doesn’t.  It is truly trimphant to know we have passed the test and made the adjustments to the final attainment.  Choosing the positive is where we find results.

“Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you’ve got”.  Jim Rohn

“A stumble may prevent a fall”.  English Proverb

“There is no limit to what a man can achieve if he doesn’t care who gets the credit”.  Laing Burns, Jr.

Success cannot be measured the same for everyone, it cannot be measured by how much money we have, how many friends or how big our house is.  It is simple measured by who we are, what we believe in, how we treat others and how we live our life.  When it is all said and done….Success is about knowing what is right and what is wrong.

I know we still have a week or so left in the year, but I can’t guarantee I’ll be coherent enough to see straight by then.  Here are a few of the lessons this past year has taught me.

-I am not now, and should never be, defined by my job.  I felt like I lost a part of myself in this past year or so when I had to stop trying to work, simply because I have done it for so long that I didn’t know a whole lot else.  There are a lot more details about the ‘progression’ in this and this post. It was, however, the best thing I could have done for myself.  I’m wondering now whether the series of disappointments I mention in the links above were God’s way of showing me what was really important in life, or preparing me for something else? That is something my friend M (whose blog is here) suggested, and very well might be true. It’s not the first time I’ve heard/thought of this, but it usually takes me a couple of times to get things through my thick skull!.  He works in strange ways, ways I often don’t understand or like at the time but that turn out to be just what I need. I am the worst person in the world about submitting and/or trusting Him sometimes and not trying to do everything myself. I’ve had a lot of trouble with my faith in the past few years, which gives this realization even more weight. This might sound offensive to some, but I wonder if parts of my life thus far have been sort of a ‘man born blind’ story-where I am made weak so that the glory and power of God can be shown through me? If so, bring it on!

Okay, I’ll stop preaching now. I just have to keep reminding myself that there is a reason for everything.

And somebody pass me my raincoat…:)

-Related to the above, this past year has reminded me of how important friends and family are, and how they matter a lot more than how much money you make.   I now remember why I decided not to go to law school after college-I didn’t want to be killing myself at an office 80 hours a week trying to pay off student loans, and not have time for a life.  It’s just not worth it.

-Monty Python and the Holy Grail has to be one of the funniest movies ever made. I’d seen it before, but because of my insanely silly husband, I’ve gained a new appreciation for Monty Python. It’s educational too. If not for that movie, I might not have ever learned the truth about rabbits:

-I could easily be dead right now if not for the hand of God.  All accounts of my accident given to me by my doctors, family, and even the insurance adjusters tell me that it’s a miracle that I survived, much less can walk and take care of the house.

For those who have not heard the story, I was hit when pulling out of my subdivision on the way to a new job. I was hit T-bone style (perpendicularly) on the driver’s side by a Dodge Ram. In case you haven’t seen one of these trucks,  they are quite massive and one of the toughest, heaviest pickup trucks out there.  My Saturn was turned from a four-door sedan into a crumpled pile of metal within about a few minutes. Here are some examples of the two makes of car:

2000 Saturn...this isn't mine, just an example

Dodge Ram-this is actually one of the *smaller* ones

I got out of it with a punctured lung and a broken pelvis,  and that’s just what I’ve been told about. I spent a month in the hospital, half of it restrained and sedated to keep me from waking up and ripping out all of my tubes…I’m told I did this quite often! I had extensive physical and occupational therapy, essentially learning to walk again.  On the up side, at least some of the therapists were hot. Don’t ask me how it all happened because I don’t remember…I don’t remember a single thing about the wreck itself, or the first two weeks in the hospital.  I haven’t even seen a picture, and I’m not sure I want to.

I’ve told this story in my head and to other people about a million times, and each time I do I remember how it could have turned out. I have to keep reminding myself of this when I start feeling sorry for myself for the things I cannot do.

-I now know even more uses for the ‘F’ word than before.  You tend to rack things like that up when you work in restaurants.  I think I’m up to 20 now.  

-Some people can be real assholes. No, I didn’t just learn this now, but I’ve gotten plenty of reminders.

-It’s okay to ask for help, and you are not less of a person for needing it.  People who would make you feel as though you are are usually completely clueless and deserve to be ignored.  They can be useful, though, if only to remind you of the point above this one.

-I love taking pictures.  I don’t, however, love being in pictures.  I am not photogenic at all, and the fact that my siblings are and that my brother used to model doesn’t help.

-There are a lot-and I do mean a lot-of things I didn’t know about my family that I could have used growing up.  I understand that I was pretty young during one particularly interesting period, but knowing some of the things when I was ten that I overheard by eavesdropping two months ago could have saved me a lot of time, anxiety and money for the therapist.  Well, maybe I would have still needed the therapist, but it would have at least given me more of a head start! I understand why I wasn’t told many of these things at the time and that some things aren’t what you want other people knowing, even in the family.   I was just a kid, I can see why someone wouldn’t want a kid to know a lot of things.  It was just really, really weird hearing my dad talk about things that defined my and my sister’s childhoods as openly and casually as he would talk about yesterday’s newspaper.

-Don’t look down those in need, or others who are referred to by Jesus as ‘the least of these’.  Most, if not all, of us are going to be ‘the least of these’ at some point in our lives.  Some of us already have been.

-Some people can be real assholes.  Sorry, did I mention that before?

-Cats make good alarm clocks. Ditto vacuum cleaners and hot water bottles.

-I am probably the most self-absorbed person I know. At least, that’s how it feels sometimes.  However, I think that is part and parcel when the depression hits. It’s hard to see a whole lot else when you are trapped behind a black curtain with only your own mind for comfort.  Oh, and, I’m overdramatic too.

-There is something wonderfully comforting about making a Chef Boyardee pizza kit and chocolate chip cookies from the freezer section.

I’m sure these aren’t the only things I learned this year, but they are the ones I can think of at the moment. Hopefully in the coming year I will continue to learn, and perhaps have more interesting things to say than my usual drivel.

Oh, and, if you want to argue with anything here, that’s in room 12a.