Birds flying in a smiley face shape (not sure if it's real, though)!

Happy Monday, y’all! I’m still in my funk (which I mentioned yesterday), but I’m working through it. It’s kind of hard to talk about being happy when I’m not feeling so happy myself, but this little sentence makes me smile through my grumpiness.

It’s not easy to find happiness in ourselves, but it’s impossible to find it anywhere else.

I have no idea who said this, but I sure like it.

How are you feeling this Monday? In a funk too? Let’s get through it together!

Have an awesome day!

Photo: Maniac World

Living in the now and feeling good. I love life.

I suppose PMS is officially over, but yours truly have been craving for food that she didn’t normally crave for. I NEED BEER right now!! Now quick now!! I’m in the middle of feeling stomach full and itchy tongue. Don’t really have anything in mind to eat. Not specifically something sweet, or salty, or sour or spicy. Just want something refreshing! But nothing like an ice lemon tea nor soda! Ukh!!

And after seeing an avalanche of good pancake pictures, I’m dreaming of being in pancake island now, with lotsa choices left and right. Blueberry, raspberry, cranberry, cheese, chocolate chip, etc. etc. OH JEES! And I can’t believe I just text F to buy me milk for that pancake project tomorrow morning at such hour! What’s wrong with me?

AAAAANNYYYWAAAYY…

I admitted to F that I am officially broke right now and can’t get him a good Christmas gift. But I promised him to make a good meal to redeem. I’m looking at Bouef Bourguignon, buffalo wing, and perhaps mushroom soup. I know that I’m looking at such weird combo ever. But hmmm. =)

I’m seriously thinking of investing more of my time and $$ for cooking now.

How about peaches, pumpkin, and raisins?  Bob’s Red Mill Creamy Buckwheat Cereal (which I just now learned is NOT labeled gluten-free), buckwheat groats, peaches, raisins, cooked pumpkin chunks, stevia and cinnamon.   

Peachy Raisin Cream of Buckwheat

So week 1 of increased intake after my ND mandated a weight and fat gain along with moving into the gluten-free world has had ups and downs.  Thanks to really focusing on the positive over the past months, the shift this week was less of a mental struggle than it could have been.  I’ve been gentle with myself, forgiving quickly and talking myself out of frustration.  I tend to get pretty gung-ho when I start an active push in recovery, but now that this first week is over, the I know it will get more difficult, mentally and physically.  I also tend to expect quick results.  Two days of into a “change” and I’m wondering why I’m not cured.  Why don’t I feel better!?  Why does my stomach hurt?!  See, it isn’t working!  Patience will be front and center as I move into the “long haul.”      

This past week, my bowels had been increasingly difficult through the week, and Friday was the end of the road for me.  But instead of running to the gym and purging in frustration, I got up, baked a few dozen muffins for family (have to use up the gluten grains I can’t eat), did 60 minutes of yoga, finished lots of busywork, and blogged positively.  I worked on my homemade Christmas presents, organized my living room, and played Dr. Mario on the NES Nathan got when he traded his 3 year un-used Playstation in last weekend.  I watched Nathan drum and he excitedly shared a few new songs with me.  I felt physically awful all day, but my head was in a beautiful place.  I was calm, gentle, understanding, and peaceful.  I knew this whole process is going to be VERY difficult physically and Friday I let it be so.  But I didn’t make it worse mentally.  This was a success!  Saturday we picked up a little tiny Christmas tree, and I was excited to finish the book of Psalms and start on the New Testament with the book of John.  Today again was a bad bout of pain in the morning, and I had to sneak out of the last half of church.  But it passed and I enjoyed lunch with my family and then some Christmas shopping and hot yoga this PM with Nathan.  It was an ok weekend with a good balance of relaxing and working.     

I had a bout of nightmares this week, including my classic tornado/twister nightmare that I’ve had since I was very little.  Usually there is a tornado and I am seeking shelter.  But often I can’t find my family or they won’t come into the shelter or they don’t care about it or they can’t see or hear me warning them.  It is getting more obvious and understandable why I have this dream.  Loss of control, anxiety, feeling emotionally separated from my family (I know I am the odd duck).  The next day, I laughed at how stupidly obvious the devil was being by trying to get to me with this dream.  Like I really wouldn’t recognize it?  How desperate he is!  See how strong I am now?      

In summary, this first week was a mind game that I feel I have won.  But in reality, the amount of intake I have increased won’t get me to my goal.  It is important to not stall out here.  This is usually where I get in trouble, so I need to keep moving forward.  Push me!  

Moving into this gluten-free thing with an open mind, I’ve been enjoying and experimenting with my bowls of hot rice and buckwheat cereal.  This bowl had Bob’s Red Mill Creamy Brown Rice Cereal, a few tbsp of arborio rice, fresh cherries and some cooked pumpkin chunks, almond extract and stevia, and almonds.  

Cherry Almond Cream of Rice

Cinnamon Cream of Buckwheat

In accordance with the fish challenge over at HealthyYum, I ate salmon all week, along with a lovely dinner of sashimi on Friday night.  This stir fry had salmon, broccoli, mushrooms, red bell pepper, scallions, and tofu noodles.  I used garlic, ginger, and Bragg’s Liquid Aminos to season.    

Salmon broccoli stir fry, miso soup.

This salad was yummy, with salmon, artichokes, tomatoes, and cukes.  Wanted black olives but didn’t have any.  Check out the dressing: 1 packet of this mixed with the juice from pickled eggs and beets.  Totally good!   

Salmon salad with pickled beet Italian dressing.

This was an excellent bowl!  I used this for the slaw, and then mixed the salmon with corn, tomatoes, onions, green pepper, lime juice, cumin, salt, and just a touch of cayenne, and served with a gluten-free corn tostada.  Another one that should have had black olives.    

Salmon taco bowl with cabbage slaw.

I made this for Nathan on Tuesday using Thousand Hills ground beef.  (Click for recipe.)   

Bacon Cheeseburger Lasagna

And I have discovered the grossest peanut butter ever.  Do you like tuna?  Do you like peanut butter?  Do you like them in one jar?  If so, please purchase this:    

Worst peanut butter EVER.

How was your week (end)?  Do you have any recurring dreams?  Have you had this awful peanut butter?  

]]> http://peacefulaimer.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/i-believe-in-angels/ Sun, 06 Dec 2009 16:16:58 +0000 peacefulaimer http://peacefulaimer.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/i-believe-in-angels/

…that’s almost hard to admit. out loud. I don’t know why. EGO getting concerned about being judged I guess. The thing is – about a year ago or so – I received a super cheap CD by Doreen Virtue (I figured, $5, why not – there are no accidents!) from being a member of Hay House. I have a bunch of self-help, meditative, theta-wave type stuff on my iPod, and every night I listen to something as I go to sleep. To hopefully fill my heart with more positivity each day. Well, although I was a bit of a skeptic – every time I listened to Doreen’s CD, I was moved. So I started downloading her podcasts. And found more such recordings  by her. I can’t really describe it except it fills my heart – how can it not be true – how can there not be Angels.

So, last nite, as the hours ticked by and darkness grew – I put this question out there:

“Why do I do this to Myself” (the question was in relation to one of my anxiety triggers – which has to do with self-doubt, insecurity, worry)

The answer I received IMMEDIATELY was this, and it was almost as though someone else was writing it down …

“It’s all you’ve known, it’s the way you have done things all along – but it isn’t your destiny, it isn’t how it has to be or will be – you are destined for greatness. Peace, joy, happiness are achievable if you let them in. Your EGO protected you in the past, when you weren’t strong enough to stand on your own – but you are stronger now and it (EGO) doesn’t want to let go so easily, but it will let go if you have faith and continue to see the good in you. The good around you. Have faith.“

I really can’t describe the moment effectively, other than it was quite profound. After a few instances of such unexplainable phenomenon – from both my long ago past and most recently – I believe there are things we can’t easily explain via science or logic, so rather than fear them – I embrace them. And the message I received is so simple. so profound. so loving. It calmed me down.

-A

Well this was the question I asked my friend as she was struggling to understand why was life not happening to her the way she thinks or wants. As we dwell deep into discussion, about what was exactly happening and how does she life and how is it different than what she feels it should be.

I can confess here that there was a constant change in the pattern of her desires. Is it only with her? So when ever some one asks me to help him or her with any form of manifestation in life, the first question ask is ” Are you completely doubt free that you wan this particular thing to happen in your life” Many people stop for a moment and rethink. Yes it is very important to know that what you exactly wish in your life. To be exactly sure that how you see your life after 5 years or so. That gives us a better picture of where we are and where do we think we need to proceed. It may take a long time for you to come to a conclusion sometimes in deciding the particular exact desire of your life. But it is worth knowing it. So how can you know what you really desire in your life??

As 2009 is coming to close and christmas is around the corner, sometimes the holiday season in December can be exciting for most people and stressful for some. That’s how it is every year right? As for me, work is going well but can wear me down from time to time but it gets better in the end. School is going well too i just have to pass my classes. But as for the other stuff, that’s a different story. I just got my other grandparents gifts out of the way. Now, i need to buy gifts for my granfather, grandmother, mom and dad, great grandma and some more people and i plan to get a new phone from cricket which is who i’m with. Tell me that’s not stressful. If you think you’re think only one that’s going through the December madness, think again. I know your December madness situations are way more worse than mine and i completely understand that. We’re still in a recession and the economy is getting worser and worser by the minute. Most of us have to buy presents that are less expensive (which is the best option) , have tons of bills to pay and many other things that you have to take care of.  Let’s hope that we can get everything we need to handle out of the way just in time for Christmas to arrive. I can’t wait til this is all said and done after i get all of this out of the way and i know you guys can’t wait to get your christmas situations out of the way too. I know things will go well for all of you like it will for me. Happy Holidays everyone.

Who would you enjoy sharing a meal with? I’m thinking of someone you would value learning from and hearing their perspectives? In my work, Barbara Fredrickson is on my top ten list. Or, should I say, was on my list. Last night I had the opportunity and delight to have dinner with her and two other friends. It was energizing and stimulating to have a conversation with someone who dives into the deep end of the research pool each day exploring the ways to positively and sustainable impact people. The only thing I regret is that I didn’t take a picture to keep for memory sake and to share with you. I’m sentimental that way.  You would likely appreciate her work personally. I’ve talked about her book Positivity before.

Back to my earlier question; who would you enjoy spending some time with that could open your eyes and mind to new insights in your world personally or professionally?  May I encourage you to step out and do something to make that meeting happen. You’d be amazed what’s possible when you try.  Hum, I think I need to think about the other nine interesting people on my list. And, add a new tenth.

Well I just recently finished a book titled Positivity by Barbara Fredrickson. I happened to be laying around the pool at my condo in September (one of the perks of being semi-retired) and someone had left a Good Housekeeping magazine in the chair next to mine. The front cover mentioned “Being More Positive and the Good it Does for Us” which caught my eye so I read the brief article which mentioned Dr Fredickson’s book. 

The library had the book, but there was a waiting list so I figured the book was a must read. While waiting for the book I found the trailer below on the internet that got me even more interested. 

I have to say it was a pretty good book. An important point the book makes is that if we try not to be so judgemental, that positivity will change the way we interact with others. That we should think of ourselves as all being one and that by doing so this in turn drives our willingness to help others in need. By acting on our sense of oneness with others and lending our fellow man a hand we can externalize our positivity.

This externalized positivity creates an upward spiral, because when you help someone else, there’s a good chance that you will feel gratified and proud of what you did. If others have witnessed your good deed this will in turn inspire them to want to do good for someone which will add more goodness to the social world. As the cycle continues you are inspired to act on the good feelings you have from your good deed further and repeatedly turning your good feelings into even more good deeds.

 So I have joined the cycle and started being less judgemental and more positive and I feel better for doing so !

We’re officially celebrating Christmas this year, which also means, Christmas gifts gotta come in early as well!

We’re not gonna be in the country from one week prior to Christmas day ’til early Jan next year! That’s oh-so-exciting because it’s something quite new to us. For 3 consecutive years, we’ve always thought of what to prepare for the holy Christmas Eve. Dinner for two? Or dinner with whole bunch of really close people? To have Christmas tree or not? To dress Santa Claus on Canon or not? And for the past 3 years we have always been all the way very Christmas when December had just started. But not this year, strangely, though it’s supposed to work the other way.

I guess it’s because we’re pretty tight on our deadlines. Yours truly woke up early today for a shoot, and gotta wake up earlier for tomorrow’s another shoot. And what with my resignation letter which soon I gotta tender, and the fact that I will be on holiday in less than 10 working days… Lotsa things to prepare, lotsa things to back up, and… yeah!

I can feel lately my brain has always been occupied *though sometimes with ‘nothingness’* I have so many things to do regarding work (got a job, applied for working pass, how to tender resignation, what will happen after this, etc.), my trip (stuffs I should bring for both beach & mountain places, how much money I should prepare, the list of places and food I MUST try, what to bring as Christmas gift for his family, etc.), Canon (luckily I have found a ‘butler’ for him, but what if he gets lonely? what if he misses us? will he get depressed? etc.), YEAHHHH.

Such a worry wrat, aren’t I?

Nevertheless I’ve been happy I’ve got a job for a very early Christmas present. Then today Fajar went to buy the C&K bag I’ve been eyeing on! as well as… *drum rolls please* the Julia Child’s masterpiece “Mastering the Art of French Cooking”! *gleeful*

I woke up at Grace’s and she was still asleep so I started reading my atheist book. I forgot to write what Robin had written in it before. “What are you doing in this London hellhole portal where they hide the atheists?” Very good writing, despite him insisting that it was very sloppy.

We got up, sadly parted company and I went for lunch at London version of Slain’s again. Once more, I’ve no idea where the day went, it was ridiculous. I think a lot of it was spent looking for an internet cafe to do this bloody blog, to no avail. I’ve finally found one, so I’m gonna remember where it is in future. I’m the only one here and there’s five minutes left, but I think I’m gonna have to ask for an extra half hour… despite the fact that the man’s on a call that’s lasting ages and I don’t want to interrupt (but at the same time don’t want to spend the rest of my time in Lahndahn before leaving at 2pm in an internet cafe).

So, yes, I had lunch, walked around for far too long looking for imaginary things and then went to meet Penrose at her work. I did so and we caught a bus to the pub where we sat by the fire. Lovely! Especially as it was freezing. We waited for Lynsey to turn up and then went to go on a Jack Rippy walk. Our guide was awesome. He did a little cockney song halfway through despite being quite posh himself. It was raining and cold, but it was most enjoyable. I forgot I was a massive Ripper nerd!

[Just asked for another hour. That'll take me up to 12.20pm if I wanna use it all... I should maybe really attempt some christmas shopping or something. But on the other hand, it's a Saturday, so it'll be even more horrendously busy than usual.]

We were at a bit of a loss as to what to do after the walk, but ended up getting a bus back to the pub, which was strangely busy by this point. There weren’t any seats round the side we’d been at before. Damn fireplace theives. It was here that Lynsey spotted a familiar character of Berry. We giggled and then bought some drinks and managed to squeeze onto the end of a table some other people were at. When the man wasn’t in sight, everything was fine and conversation could resume as per usual, but when he sidled round to our side of the bar, he was quite distracting. I mean, that hair is magnificent!

We left to catch one of the last trains back to the FH massive, but our excitement didn’t end there. Oh no. I was sure I heard two guys by the door say the word ‘Chumbawamba’ and I was informed by Sarah after we alighted that they had been talking about when they used to be in that band. This prompted us to get ‘Tubthumper’ stuck in our head. Oh dear.

We watched some Snuff Box as we had planned earlier on in celebration of Sarah and Lynsey meeting Fulch again the day before and because we’d been on a ripper walk. After the pub, we decided that seeing that man in the pub was a sign that we should definitely watch it. That’s when I started to get distracted whilst writing the last blog.

I feel bad that it was mainly written today, though (the fifth). I just couldn’t write about Karaoke Circus quickly and we really needed to get to bed. But the intent was there. I’m still all about self-improvement! Hooray for 100 Days! I just looked at the site and got a bit depressed about how boring my pledge is, but then I must remind myself that I’m doing this for me to be good in future. There are some seriously cool pledgers out there though. Especially Dig Your Fins. I miss Lego…

Now, what’s something good I can do for a couple of hours? I think it’s time to consult Twitter…

I am trying to write this with Snuff Box on the tv directly in front of me, so it will be poorly written as I am so easily distracted.

I didn’t get the hat for Grace. Or pick up my ticket for Karaoke Circus.
I went to Bethnal Green to do so, but I’d been told the Working Men’s Club was exactly on the right as you turned up Pollard Row and it wasn’t. I gave up and headed to Goodge Street to go track down another  place I didn’t know how to get to. Waterstone’s. Busman’s holiday, innit? Somehow, I found my way there at about 4.30 and saw the Fulcher as soon as I walked in. I wandered around for a bit and ended up in the science section where I bumped into Robin Ince. As he walked by, I let out a chirpy, “Hello Robin!” and he came back and started talking about science books for a bit before going to sit at his table for his signing.

I attempted to look for a copy of the Atheist’s Guide To Christmas ‘cos I wasn’t sure if I had to buy a book first before getting it signed, but none were to be found anywhere. Turns out they were all downstairs at Ince’s table. It was next to Fulch’s table and his long queue, but it was quite quiet so I spoke to Robin again and felt quite bad for not really talking to the others, but I was on too much of a roll (ie: I was rambling like a twat to him and he looked bemused). He signed my book and asked what I’d been doing and what I was getting up to that night. I like this man ‘cos he likes to talk. I told him I was off to Karaoke Circus and he was annoyed that he couldn’t make it as he had to head to a gig, but he said Ben Miller’s duet was going to be amazing. I got a bit more excited, thanked him and left.

Again, I made my way to Bethnal Green, but this time spotted a massive crowd outside a building I took to be the place I was going. I stood, cold and waiting and did what I do quite well: got anxious about something going wrong. As it turns out, it was very easy. Lovely Danielle Ward had sent me a message on Facebook to say there’d be a ticket for me on the door to pick up before 7.30, but the place didn’t open ’til then. I knew it’d be alright, but I like to predict the worst just to prepare myself. So obviously after anxiety, I got in alright and paid my money and sat alone at a table. I helped a man and woman move some tables around so they could see the stage and I watched various people I recognised walking around looking scared and excited. Foz and the Baron opened things with a song. Very dramatic, I want them both to be my friends, they make the effort, dressing-up-wise.
Martin came on, apparently half an hour late and told us how it was going to work, then he introduced the first act (I’m just gonna talk about the famous people ‘cos that’s all anyone ever cares about, darling), a man I like ‘cos he writes good comed, Andy Riley. It was here that I realised I didn’t actually know what Andy Riley looked like as he was the man in front of me who I’d moved the table with. So that was nice. He did ‘Teenage Kicks’ and was very energetic and good. Dan Tetsell was standing in for Dan Maier as a judge with the Baron and he started off as being very polite about the acts, but as the night went on, became the villain, encouraging boos from the audience. That’s boos as in jeering, not as in booze. Next up were the boys of Pappy’s Fun Club, who were dressed as… slaggy angels made out of tin foil. Very funny. They did Slade’s ‘Merry Christmas Everybody’ whilst jumping around. Tetsell commented on being able to see their testicles. Then Luke Roberts came on in a wig and did Kate Bush’s ‘Babooshka’ which was very funny. Then the Actor Kevin Eldon, who somehow in the panic I’d managed to forget was performing, came up, spoke a little about depressing and despair and then sang REM’s ‘Everybody Hurts’. Tetsell hates the song and the Baron was disappointed that he ruined the happy vibe, but still described him as “Totallyyyy painleeeess!” which provoked more cheers. Good old Eldon. Dave Gorman got off to a false start with his version of ‘Stop The Cavalry’. The man with the horn at the start was very good, but apparently not good enough. Take two. Then a third, which went without hitch. I still have this trumpet bit stuck in my head…
The Penny Dreadfuls closed the first half with ‘Dancing in the Dark’. They were very funny though. And as promised, they brought the sex-ay!

During the interval when the lights were turned back on, I realised that my table had become occupied by Ben Miller, Tony Gardner and Jack, Tony’s son who had performed a song annoyingly well as an open spot. I kept my head down, cursing the fact that I find Ben Miller slightly oddly attractive. Shurrup. I continued texting Jill and Kerry but overheard what Ben and Tony were planning on singing and got excited. Then Andy Riley turned round and stood up to start talking to them. All of this was going on directly above my head and I was a little overwhelmed by the comedy-energy. Surreal.

After the break, Tony Gardner and Ben Miller took to the stage and performed David Bowie and Bing Crosby’s ‘Little Drummer Boy’, complete with the talking at the start.

Tony was Bing, Ben did a startlingly good Bowie impression. It was brilliant. I think it probably got the biggest cheer of the night.
Next up, Margaret Cabourn-Smith, who I believe is Dan Tetsell’s lady, doing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’. This prompted Tony G and all near me to shout “FIX! FIX!” when Tetsell had to pass judgement. It was very funny and he got out of it by being cheeky. Good guy. The Baron salvaged it for him though. Laurence Howarth was next up and he impressed everyone by a rendition of The Last Of The Famous International Playboys. Ace! Everybody sang along and Tetsell giggled and said he shockingly really enjoyed it. Anna and Katy were next and did ‘Last Christmas’, including sincerity. Well done, ladies!
Martin was onstage as the judges spoke about Anna and Katy’s performance and he looked a bit anxious and kept checking his watch. The gig was supposed to finish at 10.45 and it was already 10.50 and Chris Addison hadn’t been on. When the judges had finished up, Martin asked Chris, “Where’s Jess?” to which, he shrugged, and so they picked a girl at random from the crowd to get up onstage with him and help him. Her name was Cat. Or Kat. I don’t know, I’m not her mum. The song they did was ‘Fairytale of New York’ so I made a mental note to ask my family if this counted as hearing it, thus winning December family competition. They got through the song and were swaying along during the musical break at the end when Jessica Stevenson (I’m too stubborn to call her ‘Hynes’…) turned up at the front of the stage looking outraged. She got ushered up as the band continued playing and Cat went off. Everyone booed, it was very amusing. They did the song again and the judges gave their bewildered comments (including one from Tetsell about expecting a lot better from the stars of Lab Rats and According To Bex, which made me laugh far too much) and then had to make a choice as to who had won. They said it was Cat, which I think was very nice of them. She got a little trophy and they invited everyone who had sang back onto the stage to do a song together. Bohemian Rhapsody. Sa-weet! Perfect way to end things.

I got ready to leave and saw Kevin Eldon lurking by a fruit machine so thought I’d kick myself later if I didn’t say hello. He was very lovely and has a rather expressive face. What an actor! He did actually say at one point, “Ah, it’s acting!” and I shoulda commented on the fact that that’s what you expect from The Actor Kevin Eldon, but I was still braindead from the night before, so didn’t think of it. He asked my name and shook my hand and laughed enthusiastically at my inane comments. A truly delightful man. Then I headed off into the night and went to Grace’s where we stayed up and spoke and watched old Whose Line Is It Anyway clips into the wee small hours.

My poor brain is reeling, every space is filled, every nook is knackered with should have’s, would have’s, could have’s…All the things I might have done to relieve myself of guilt and the constant replay of everything that has ever plagued me with doubt, regret…well you get the picture.    We are talking about serious EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE here, folks.  If you are like most people, including me, the life essence coach, you know this feeling.   BUT I HAVE A SECRET BURSTING TO BE SHARED…

My SECRET is THE easiest  shortcut I know to clearing the brain clutter of old baggage.   Gotta tell ‘ya…there have been nights and days when I just used up the hours reliving “stuff” until I learned how to take the message out of the story, make it my best experience and MOVE ON….   Read on to find out how and if you need help get in touch with me at  portalcoach@live.ca   

What is Emotional Baggage?

• Emotional Baggage is any thought, guilt, memory or self concept that rolls around in your mind, taking over precious sleeping time.
• Emotional Baggage is any self talk that invades your successful planning and execution of a goal, a wish or a dream.
• Emotional Baggage adds to shaky life foundation putting huge strain your living your satisfying successful life.

What are the  Five  (5)  TOOLS for De-Cluttering emotional baggage?

• Journaling is mandatory for recording all supporting steps and new awareness that come out of the de-cluttering old memories. 
• Creative Visualization of the event as you remember it. 

EXERCISE:  Take any memory, review the details (minus emotional judgment), understand your part in the action and then boldly step into the personality of other players to see their viewpoint, what drove their behavior.  As an adult, you  can see the validity  or inappropriateness of their behavior.   Apply this new awareness to your own memory?

• Openness to embracing a new point of view.   Ask the other players in the memory,  what they could have done differently.  Ask yourself and them, how this would have made a difference to the ending.
• Create a new ending that is a win for everyone.  This part of the process actually rewrites neural pathways, infusing the memory with a positive energy.   You’ve just created new energy around this challenging memory!
• Forgiveness, Gratitude and Appreciation.  Choose what you take away as a life lesson from this memory.  Choose to keep the lesson, express appreciation for having discovered the lesson, thank the memory for it’s message, forgive old hurts by understand the failings of human beings and release all the negative memories forever. 

 It is really and truly my mission to get as many people emotionally de-cluttered as possible by March 15th, 2010.  Let’s keep count. 

Feel free to get in touch if you need help unraveling an old story  portalcoach@live.ca

4.  Surprises.  Simple little surprises are very nice.  Hershey’s kisses in a coat pocket, tiny post-it heart on an iphone, loving picture of the two of you on the bathroom mirror … let your creativity roam free.

5.  Plan a special date.  Make all of the arrangements and let your partner just enjoy the experience.

6.  Make love with your eyes open.

Counseling Relationships Online
Couples Counseling of Louisville

…to be honest, since I found myself, once again all wound up and anxious back in late October, I’ve been re-connecting with resources that help soothe my savage EGO. Sometimes I think the reason I go through bursts of anxiety and dread is because my EGO is holding on tightly – it does not like the idea of being mostly eradicated – pushed to the back burner – way to the back, so it announces itself in the biggest way it knows I will listen – by tossing in unfounded anxiety/worry/fears into my life. This same thing happened to me about the same time last year. Weird.

It became my goal this time around to work hard on not worrying about things out of my control. To fully, 100% trust in the universe that what happens on a daily basis has purpose – we may not always understand it, but, it is all for a reason.

(UPDATE)

I was going to write a bit about a few anxious moments I had today – ones without merit or reason but my EGO goes there anyway – however…

Things to be happy for today:

Positive people in a sea of negativity
Spontaneous laughter with friends at work
Having the oomph to give my fish tank some attention
Sharing enthusiasm over good books with a good friend
My kitties being happy when I get back home
Just enough snow last nite to appreciate it
quiet moments
Turning off the television and not running off to bed immediately
Reconnecting with my twitter friends
Juggling three or four books at the same time – because I rediscovered the magic of re-reading books I love
Discovering and enjoying Nutella!
Slowly but surely eliminating negative influences from my life
Slowly but surely seeing the joy vs the pain

-A

As your evening winds down and you attempt to let go of all the stressors of the day (Really quick…think about the long day and politics at work, the traffic, the annoying neighbor, the demands on your time and now…FORGET ABOUT IT). Give yourself at least a moment daily to take a time out to enjoy something. Anything (legal, of course).  Because when you do, you are teaching yourself to build resiliency which allows you to cope in a healthier manner when dealing with the things that bring you down.

To assist you in building your “resiliency” arsenal, I wanted to share a positivity exercise that may help to assist in maintaining your motivation to keep on keeping on in stressful times.

“Envisioning your happiness”:

Start by taking a deep breath, closing your eyes ( if you are uncomfortable with that, train your eyes on something pleasant to look at) and thinking about everything that you want and need to be happier in this moment (not materialistically or financially). Think about the fantasy you have about yourself when no one is looking. Think about what makes you smile and just laugh out-loud to yourself. Think about all the things you sigh about; wishing you could experience it for yourself.

Now imagine yourself having all of it. Imagine all of your dreams fulfilled and the feelings that inspires. Imagine yourself smiling so big and no one having the power or the words to take that smile away. Imagine you have the opportunity to reach your potential and be the person you want to be with a world of opportunity ahead of you.

Now open your eyes and go get it! You envisioned it and i’m thinking it felt wonderful. Now use that positive energy to plan and make the changes necessary to feel that way all the time. Be realistic in your efforts and realize that while some of the aspects of your envisioned happiness may be fantastical, the feelings you felt while being in that “happy” place were real. Aim to feel that way all the time and reject or modify the things in your life that are stopping you from reaching that happy place.

This, of course, is a process. This exercise is recommended only as a tool to help you identify and keep sight of your goals as well as act as a gage to determine how far you have been drifting away from your own personal happiness.

Remember, thinking positive is being positive.

I learned how to make my own base foundation from scratch yesterday.

This school is going to be very beneficial for me. If only the makeup kits that the school requires you to get wasn’t $650.  I need it by this monday coming up.

Yeeeeah right.

…I’ve been on a journey – for quite some time, but it seems lately I’ve amped it up. I wanted a place to write about things that make me smile, make me happy – make me remember all the good in life. I’ve spent a large part of my 4o years on this earth exposed to negativity, engaging in said negativity and I’m worn out. Time for my ego to take a backseat and my true self to have the chance to flourish! I decided to not turn my other blog into what I hope for this one – that one is for my ego to have fun, to be lighthearted or to vent. Plus I wanted to start out brand new – since I’m officially commencing this new journey! Perfect timing too – with the close of 2009 – a new year with new promises, hopes, dreams and challenges.

To start out my new blog of happy – here’s a cute video, makes me smile wide every time I view it, I could watch it on loop

So, I’ve come to a conclusion about the concerns I expressed on Monday about blogging.  I was speaking from a negative, fearful place with a pitiful thought process called defeatism, defined as “acceptance of defeat without struggle.”  Otherwise known as “not putting yourself out there” and playing small!  Here’s the best explanation I can point to:

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of G-d.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to manifest the glory of G-d within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.”

–Nelson Mandela, 1994 South African Presidential Inaugural Speech,
quoting spiritual leader Marianne Williamson of the Church of Today in Detroit.

I’ve been surrounded by defeatists my entire life.  The-sky-is-falling Chicken Little types.  And I have always swung aggressively in the opposite direction and stubbornly insisted that everything I do will work out perfectly.  Making bold decisions and listening to my own instincts.  Trusting the universe.  I’ve been accused many times of being naïve, a foolish Polly-Anna.  But you know what?  I don’t listen to that crap!  I married Mr. Right and he’s helped me become EVEN MORE positive.  Our family motto is ABUNDANCIA.  We are abundance!! We don’t just have everything we need in abundance…we ARE abundance.  Does that sound crazy? 

Sooooo…I slipped a bit and now I’ve self-corrected back to my typical mindset of positivity!!!  It took me a few days, but I’m back.  I’m blogging because it’s brave and hopeful and I have a light that wants to shine bright.  And like my wise new friend EatMoveLove said, anyone who doesn’t want to read it can just avert their eyes!

Do you have defeatists in your life?  How do you react to their verbal or non-verbal feedback which attempts to squash your ambition and plant seeds of doubt?