when you are alone, what do you do?

Do you rejoice?

Do you sulk?

Do you sleep?

Do you party?

Do you try to get friends over so as to not be alone?

What do you do?

being alone really does bring about serenity yet seclusion. it’s amazing yet disgusting how one issue can bring abt the birth of two opposites. Queer.

]]> http://shechive.com/2009/12/25/post-secret-for-the-holidays/ Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:01:40 +0000 Emily http://shechive.com/2009/12/25/post-secret-for-the-holidays/

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PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard. Check out more secrets at PostSecret.BlogSpot.com.

1. dreams:
hugging goodbye
against the fridge
warm
fierce
ribcage to ribcage
we hold on for days

intrigued
in a house of artists
summer
wooden banister
you become tony hernandez
from seventh grade
and we laugh in uncomfortable wonder

2. dad
mistaking desktop st. lucia
bringer of light
for the mona lisa

3. ice crunch
new snow sounds
under ancient hiking boots

4. throwing tinsel
on the cheese tree
a laundromat
salsa merengue dance
and a grin so big
you could fall in

5. mom
talking to herself
all over the kitchen
about
which serving dishes
which glasses
what goes in the oven
first

6. gruszki
polish for pears
and there is no
notable polish
for a return from the dentist
to an orchard
razed by nazi soldiers
but not before
they gorged themselves
golden dripping fruit
in hands

7. youtube variety pack
kid style:
jurassic fart
spider pig
i am a gummy bear
pokerface

8. fuschiamaroon blazer
crispgreen stripes
glitterscarf
brown sideways hat
black sequin skirt
a la 1940’s singing telegram

9. on my knees
changing all the he’s
to she’s
reciting
professions of faith

for our sake
she was crucified under pontius pilate;
she suffered, died and was buried.
on the third day she rose again

10. venite adoremus
venite adoremus
venite adoramus

oh
come
let us adore

11. a church petition
for all those who are single
unpartnered
seeking companionship
and i reel
reel
reel
wanting to point the finger
at aloneness
and cultures of isolation

12. the crime
of carpeting
in a space
built to fill with sound

13. dinner table moment #2
flanked by 10 and 8 year old
Isabel (8 year old) asks:
is milo a girl or a boy?
my response:
he grew up a girl
but decided he wanted to be a boy
veronica (10 year old) says:
you can’t do that!
my response:
of course you can!
a lot of  people do.
isabel:
oh, i get it.
like a tomboy
me:
yes. something like that

14. dad on couch
reading post secret book
aloud
glasses
perched on nose
we laugh over this:
i hate when people say
they built their furniture
c’mon
you bought it at a store
took it home in a box
and assembled it at home

15. connecting
early childhood trauma
to bi-polar affective disorder

16. discovery over kitchen cleanup:
at age 15
grandma wheeled her
39-year-old mother’s body
beaten to death by soldiers
in a wagon
from farm
to town
to the priest
to a doctor
to anyone
who knew what to do

17. midnight yoga
in living room
letting go
letting go
letting go
in pigeon pose

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PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard. Check out more secrets at PostSecret.BlogSpot.com.

When I was done with my make up, I purposely fell down my flight of stairs, hoping that I would see McSteamy at the hospital.

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I really think I’m getting OLD. partying never felt so tiring. recovering… oh my dun even get me started on recovering. Having hangovers never lasted n felt so shitty. gawd, when they say grow up, they didnt mention this! i swear i read the fine prints too!

At least the partying went well (: unexpected ppl would sum the night up. Met people for the first time and boy were they a bunch of fun. singing, dancing drinking like we were friends for centuries. It always makes me so eager to start working or traveling. ChinaOne’s DJ brought his friends from Holland over and together w his gf + SW, we partied n had so much fun, i woke up thanking myself for not wearing heels. i know u might be thinking, “hey. its only a night out! y so much fuss over it?” well, tt’s true, but i was dead sick yesterday. puking, sniffling, feverish, coughing, wheezing for the last few nights and clubbing was so not on the list for the night. thus me enjoying the night was shocking yet very very pleasantly unexpected.

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Seeing you dere was unexpected too, bringing back rather fond memories of innocence & laughter. glad would be the appropriate word, subtle yet true. I’m glad to have bumped into you.

long day tmr. goodnight.

]]> http://bunnyheng.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/its-all-but-a-dream/ Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:47:16 +0000 bunnyheng http://bunnyheng.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/its-all-but-a-dream/

It’s nice to have only you yourself know certain stuff. It’s somewhat comforting. If I had bulimia, do you tink tt will be my secret against the world? If i lied abt my past, do you tink i cld keep tt from others? if i held on to u for a reason totally different from what i claim, do you tink i can continue with the lie? all i know for sure is that when i dream of stuff at night, i wake up to the world knowing that for that few seconds or minutes till i tell somebody abt it, whatever i dreamt abt was mine. nobody knew. nobody suspected. nobody lied. n that’s the amazing part about dreams. i mean, regardless of whether it was abt a situation which we have been harping on, or sth totally irrelevant to our lifestyles, mayb good or even bad, we still wake up pondering abt it. n i dunno abt  u, but being a “half empty glass” person, good dreams are chucked under – wishful thinking and nightmares are under – future possibilities.

this morning i woke thinking abt what i dreamt. the bits n pieces which i tink i rmb, piecing them together and the whole chunks that i was still thinking abt when brushing up teeth. amazing how i interpreted them. amazing how i even dreamt of them. amazing how i wld put myself in such a dream. amazing how i’m even blogging abt dis frivolous shit.

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If the inevitable really does come knocking, I need to know that I’m still the same in your eyes.

My secret? ... I'm really a peacock (yep, not even a peahen)

For some reason I’ve been getting into the whole Post Secret thing the past week or so. I don’t know why. I think I like reading other people’s secrets and thinking how much better my life is than theirs. Quite selfish, isn’t it? It’s not just that though, the secrets do help me appreciate my life and ask myself if I have a similar secret. So then I get to thinking if I have any secrets. I could only think of one, and it was quite minuscule and unimportant to my life today. Here’s the thing though, I must have more secrets than I’m letting on. It’s impossible that my friends know everything about me. I think one day I would like to send a postcard to Post Secret. I think it would be fun.

My first final was today. Studied for about 10 minutes. Hardest class. I’ll pass. Gonna do a bit more studying for other classes today with friends. I’m also gonna see a Nativity Scene with Maribel.

I’m getting sick…again. What the heck. I’ve totally been drinking water and eating fruit and lettuce (I know, cause lettuce has tons of vitamins and proteins and all that). Maybe it’s just the cold weather. Wait, no, that’s a wife’s tale. Well I need to be better before I hop on a 10 hour plane. I really don’t want to be blowing my nose the whole time. And there better be some good movies to watch cause I’m gonna try and stay up the whole time.

A Post Secret

Sometimes I’ve almost slipped. Facebook and Twitter and Skype and all sorts of other networking status update tools have started feeling so natural.  I started wondering about social niceties and unspoken rules.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I did slip.  If I spoke some real truth, as opposed to the selected truth we use to build up our online and offline identities.  Even casually.

How would the world take it should an acquaintance type up (in 140 characters or less, of course): “Spent a couple hours masturbating this AM before heading to scrummy brunch. Mimosas and crisp bacon really completed my day ” OR “Off my meds, ate a whole pizza, can’t get out of bed, afraid I’m going over the edge” OR “I am so horny for my boss I am this far away from jumping him in the copy room” OR “XXX should just die!  Just jump off a cliff or have a good samaritain pull the trigger once and for all!” OR “Oh God I think I’m a lesbian!” OR “F*uck you world! Just f*ck you up the ass and around the corner and out your nose!”

Etc.  Not that these are in any way my confessions.

A Post Secret

Good grief, right?

Maybe not.  I have friends who are far more frank than I dare to be.  Not necessarily in very personal confessions, but rather in provocative links, daring allusions, vulgar or eye-opening or disgusting photos. Or even in their use of profanity, which I use rarely.

And the world certainly does have a need.  Ever heard of Post Secret? My sister is a new addict.  What started as an interesting contemporary art project (people sending in anonymous post cards spilling their secrets, compiled now into books), is something of an internet sensation. She reads posts on facebook, on the website, and even on twitter.  I think she’s even submitted.

By the light of the Hanukah Menorah my sister regaled me and a friend with tales of the anonymous who just had to reveal their sordid secrets to someone.  A woman was told her fiance was killed in Iraq only to find out later that he had married someone else.  Someone claiming to be a good person, not a racist in any way, finds Hitler irresistably sexy.  A woman admits to putting boogers in her husband’s food when she’s pissed off at him.  And it goes on and on.

Should we be more open and honest? Could this all really harm our online identities, or rather, our real identities? Some secrets protect. Some things may be best left unsaid. But what if you really feel like saying them? We have such a real need to be heard, especially about the things we find the most difficult to discuss.

Image from the Post Secret book

I’m just saying. They say the truth can set you free. Maybe it provides some relief.  But in this world, unless you have a stone facade, are totally confident with your situation, and are perhaps even independently wealthy, the truth seems to be a luxury.  I wish it were the case that the world would come together more, that friends would be more compassionate to each other, that we would push to become our better selves, in light of all this honesty.  We are all human – fallible, petty, hurt horny vindictive bastards.

But no.

Who would hire a bitchy bipolar bisexual Baptist? Any takers? Didn’t think so.  But that’s totally not me.  I’m Jewish, after all…

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PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard. Check out more secrets at PostSecret.BlogSpot.com.

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

Every Sunday the page is updated with new postcards sent in with anonymous people’s secrets. I love how frank people are and how free they feel to be honest when they don’t have to be accountable for the truth or have someone judge them for it. A really interesting insight into people’s true thoughts and feelings when they can finally free them.

A bonus for visiting recently is that there’s a new video at the top of the page with people confessing for the camera.

Disclaimer: If you’re offended by pictures or words of a sexual nature, or don’t like reading about some people’s fantasies, or otherwise usually unshared thoughts, you may want to pass on this site.

Today’s site: PostSecret

Photo credit: Post Secret

“When I was five I asked you what the swirls on top of the cupcake said.

You told me it was my name.

Twenty nine years later, I remember this and smile”

How SWEET is this post secret?  I mean I always knew cupcakes were quite delightful and brought smiles year round but I found this very endearing.  Hopefully it will encourage some of you to share YOUR secrets.  Leave a comment with your sweetest cupcake confession!

If you’ve never heard of PostSecret, it’s a blog that posts people’s secrets on postcards every sunday. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re sad, and sometimes they’re unbelievable, but I’ve never been disappointed. Here’s a short trailer previewing what’s to expect for their newest book out: PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death, and God.

PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death and God from Frank Warren on Vimeo.

The founder of Post Secret, Frank Warren, and the people of Fifty People One Question decided to ask 50 people to share one secret with the camera. It’s really deep what these people say. Whats ur secret? Would you have said it in front of the camera?

This is the question that PostSecret asked some different people for this video…I love the variation of hilarious, sad, moving and outrageous answers!

I believe that girls going to the bathroom together is genetic. I walk to dogs when i house sit, two girl dogs. When one stops to pee the other decides she needs to pee too.

I had a fun weekend at my best friend’s bachelorette party! Lots of fun and shenanigans ensued.

Beth (the bride),  Kate (matron of honor), Me (bridesmaid), Sarah (maid of honor), and Hope (Jr Bridesmaid)

<3 postsecret.

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PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard. Check out more secrets at PostSecret.BlogSpot.com.

The following is the perspective of from one of our own folks that comes to Presby Place.  I figured it would be go to share with everyone their perspective:

Sunday night at the Presby meeting we discussed the books Post Secret, which helped lead us into our discussion of ‘secrets’ that we keep from God. Of course we can’t keep anything from God, it’s more of what do we choose to confess to God, and what we kinda choose to ignore or hide from God. Keep in mind that while God knows everything, to keep that personal relationship going on with God, our part of the deal is actively confessing. Some things what we do or think we dismiss from ourselves. We hide it under the rug so to speak. The group discussed that maybe we hide these secrets from our peers for social acceptance.

Thomas gave us the opportunity to participate in a very reflective and interactive activity. In the activity, Thomas had us write down a secret on a card using crayons, markers and glue, and then we stapled it shut. We also had the opportunity to write down a prayer in the same manner, and we also stapled it shut.

This was all very symbolic and was a way of us to let our prayers and secrets out, and at the same time keeping them very closed off and personal. After the group had finished  writing down their prayers and secrets on the cards, we all had a chance to gather in the kitchen, and (like all good pyros) we set our prayers a blaze (in Becky’s pot…thank you  ma’am). This was symbolic of us letting this secret go, freeing it and lifting it up to God.  For me it was a very freeing experience.

That, and I got to play with fire indoors, which is always fun.

On Sunday night we finished up our examination of secrets, which was loosely based on Post Secret.  If you missed the discussion from the first part, you can always go back and check out the old post.

This weeks, conversation went a little different.  Instead of talking about secrets dealing with ourselves and others, we discussed secrets dealing with ourselves and God.  Now, I’m sure, just like our discussion went, you’re thinking that there is no way that you could keep secrets from God.  This is where the discussion gets interest, because I see secrets dealing with coming in two main varieties.

The first situation is where we keep God as our secret.  I know what you’re thinking, “how could we keep God as our secret?”  It is those times in our lives when we don’t either share our faith, stand up for what we know Jesus has that us wrong, or even looked at other Christians and secretly thought that our own kind of Christianity was the right one.  These are the times when we have chosen to keep God a secret, or to put it in terms of a the ever popular children’s song, we hide it under a bushel.  We kept God our secret, instead of letting the light shine. “Clear me from hidden faults.” (Psalm 19:12).

The other time would be when we keep secrets from God.  Initially, I asked ”what kind of things do we keep as secrets from God?”  However, a better way to ask is ”what kind of things do we not confess to God?”  The things are the exceptions, they’re the things that we either keep even from ourselves or we rationalize, despite the fact that we know they are wrong.  A great example is when someone hates another person, and they ask God to help the love that person.  However, the reality is that the person feels justified in hating the other person, despite the fact that they don’t really want help and they know that they should love their neighbor.

God’s response is the same consistent response that is always given to God’s beloved children:  love, forgiveness, and redemption.  (See, grace really is the perfect Presbyterian answer!)  God knows these things about us, and loves us still.  All we need is to ask for God’s forgiveness and it is granted, but for many of us that is the hard part.  To turn everything over to God feels as though we are giving up control and takes faith.

For those not there, I would invite you to do the same activity we did.  Get a post card size piece of paper, and create your own secret on it.  On the other side (or another sheet of paper), write a prayer asking for help and forgiveness and giving thanks.  When you have finished  them, burn them.  The secret is then between you and God, sent on with the prayer.

I actually enjoy sitting in the middle seat on an airplane because I’m so starved for any kind of touch/contact. -post secret

attention is very unfair and unpredictable. when u want it, you will never have it. when u don’t want it, it tramples all over you with great hype. it’s pretty much like anything else. simple way of relating to life? when u want a taxi, it seldom or never appears in front of you. when you don’t need a taxi, plenty will drive pass you.

via PostSecret

This is apparently in Canada, and I have to say I’m kinda excited?

It’s Sunday.   Post Secret updates on Sundays.  I want to go over there and read it, but I won’t.  And you know why?  Because Jim and I both like to read it, and we usually read it together.  But he’s still sleeping.  And so I wait.

I must really like this man.

(Cue whipping sounds.  Go ahead.  It’s true.)