This new focus came about with the new coach and the new mindset to play tough defense. Of course, they also aquired some new players who play tough also. The new coach brought about a new mentality and new attitude, and along with the new players, the Bulls are able to achieve levels they haven’t achieved in a loooong time (think back to Michael Jordan).

Here’s the thing: If the Bulls just went out and acquired the talent but without the new coach with new attitude and mindset, they may improve, but probably not to the level to where they are now. Likewise if they acquired a new coach, but failed to make any significant acquisitions in terms of players, because there’s only so much a coach can do. He can’t go out and play for them.

In terms of goal-setting, there are two components to achieve more and conquer big goals: You need the right attitude and mindset (or a change in attitude and mindset) and then you need the talent, skills and ability to perform the task. I know many people say talent and ability isn’t everything, but I do have to say there is at least a physical component to achieving your goals. I covered this in one of my previous posts. For one, accomplishing goals requires persistence, which can take up your energy.

Without the physical component, proper attitude and minset will be of little help, just like having the greatest coach in the world with below average players. Do you think the coach will stay long in that team? Likewise, how long will that postitive attitude last if you don’t have the energy to carry out your goals?

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Now it’s time for me to take my own medicine.

For a long time, I’ve been doing alot of reading in Starbucks, Panera Bread and Borders bookstore. OK, so Paners isn’t that bad, but as for Starbucks? I could do without the loud talking from people and I could defiinitely do without that loud music they keep playing just to get people to buy their CDs. I mean… I don’t mind it so much when I’m surfing the net, but when I’m reading, that’s another thing.

Borders? It’s like doing your work inside a freakin’ igloo. If they ever decide to take donations to install a heater, I’ll be more than happy to contribute. Then again, the place will probably be like hell.

Paneras is not bad, like I said, but it’s way too busy and crowded at times, and there’s still music, though not as loud.

These are all examples of opposites in an environment that can detract you from your goals. I’m gonna try someplace like… oh, I don’t know… the library and see if an environment where people are quietly and intently studying can have a positive effect on me.

Cover via Amazon

I’ve read this in a couple of goal-setting books where the author advises people to write down their goals, then actually put them away and not look at them until a few months later or whenever their “deadline” is. Even John Wooden, in his book, “Wooden on Leadership: How To Create A Winning Organization” mentions how he would look at the upcoming schedule of his UCLA Bruins and “predict” the scores and whether they would win or lose, then after he wrote his predictions, he would put the paper away in a sealed envelope and not open it until the end of the season. Of course, he was doing it for fun.

OK, so for Coach Wooden, it was more for fun. For the other authors, I’m not quite sure what their reason is to write their goals down and not look at it again (I don’t believe they even mention putting up any plan). Regardless, when setting goals, it is important to always monitor your progress, as circumstances tend to come up which tend to detract you from your schedule, and you may need to adjust or alter your course of action and (in extreme circumstances) even forsake the goal altogether.

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Why? Well, according to them, it’s because that’s usually when medical students graduate and start practicing on their own. Their very knowledgable “book-wise”, but in the real world, things usually come up that aren’t covered in books and that’s when panic sets in and mistakes occurs. Hence, the super high malpractice insurance doctors are required to carry.

Which brings us to the importance of having mentors. No, not so you’ll know what day to avoid going to the hospital. Besides… I just told you that. It’s because mentors can share with you real-world experience (provided that you ask) that may not be covered in books. Bear in mind that this may not be a substitute for your actual real-world experience (remember Bruce Lee: “Your truth is not my truth. My truth is not yours.”), but by accessing a mentors real world experience, his triumphs and failures, you are in essence being provided a “bridge” between what you read and real world experience from someone who has “been there, done that”.

Cover via Amazon

This happens to me not just when I’m trying to accomplish my goals, but in my daily activities as well. Whenever I’m trying to do something, and my thoughts drift to something “negative”, whether it’s something somebody said or did, those thoughts not only take away my focus on whatever I’m trying to do at hand, but they somehow drain me as well. At the extreme end, they can ruin my whole day.

As a matter of fact, John Wooden, in his fantastic, fantastic, fantastic book “Wooden on Leadership: How To Create A Winning Organization” (yes… it’s that fantastic), he mentions how he forbids players to curse or lose their temper, not only in practice, but in games also. He talks about how strong emotions can be the enemy and detract you from what you should be doing, which is focusing. As a matter of fact, he mentions how he actually likes it when the other team loses their temper.

To an extent, even strong positive emotions can be distracting, as you should be focusing on the goal or your task at hand. You can always celebrate later !

Others would go through basic warm-ups, stretching or basic movements for like fifteen or twenty minutes or so, then for the rest of the forty or fifty minutes (depending on how long the typical class is), they would start on a dance routine or start singing songs from Mariah Carey or whatever their favorite songs are. Now, for people who are super-fast learners (and there were some in my classes who were), going right into these dances or songs were no problem. For others like… ahem… me, as soon as we started singing, dancing or acting, we looked… um… really bad (that’s putting it kindly).

In a way, I understand why these teachers rush into doing a dance or a scene or a song or whatever. Many teachers feel if they spent too much time on conditioning, stretching or “basics”, students would start to complain. “I signed up for this class so I could do that Michael Jackson dance, not to stretch or do basics.”. Eventually, people would quit, enrollment would decrease and teachers would be out of the job. Whether or not that is the case, I don’t know. I just think alot of these teachers feel that way.

How this relates to goal-setting is this: Often-times, when you hit a rut, especially in cases where you failed at accomplishing a goal (not just a goal to become a singer or actor), it may be because of a basic step within that goal you are having problem with. What you need to do is to identify where in that goal you are “stuck”. Just like when you take your car to a mechanic to have it looked at. It can be multiple problems, but it can also be that one problem like your fuel tank running on empty (which almost happened to me once).

Going back to dancing and singing, the reason why you can’t get the new dance steps could be something as basic as lack of conditioning or (in my case) lack of rhythm. I would like to think it got better, but, um… as of this writing, it has been awhile since I danced. Hmmm… maybe it’s time I got back into it .

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My martial arts teacher used to say, “… timing is of the essence. There is a time for everything…”. Of course, what he meant was that there was a time to block and a time to strike and a time to be patient and “observe” your opponent. If, say, you strike when you should block, both you and your opponent will get hit and both of you can share the same hospital bed.

In terms of goal setting, it can be thought of as a time to learn/research and a time to apply (in the sense of, say, starting a new career or even a new business). Of course, the learning is still going on even after you start applying.

Another thing about time management is this. You would think that the more time you have, the more you would get done. However, I’ve seen people who seem to have tons of time on their hands and get very little done because in their minds, they think that they have so much time that they can afford to procrastinate. Even when they begin to start their goals, they aren’t fully focused because they think that they have all day to do it.

On the other hand, people who, say, have a full-time job while balancing a family life and a home-business realize how little time they have and because they realize how precious their time is, they are alot more focused on getting things done. The fact that they have a job and a family kinda “forces” them to focus on making the most of their time building their side business.

So, even though they don’t have as much time as someone who isn’t working, they are able to do more with the time they have.

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Coincidentally, when both Joe Montana and Brett Favre left their respective teams, you would think their teams would suffer. Not so. Steve Young filled in wonderfully for Joe Montana and led the 49ers to a Superbowl victory and recently, Aaron Rogers led the Packers to a Superbowl victory.

Both started as backups to legendary quarterbacks. Both had great mentors who were one of the best, if not the best at their position in their days. Hmmm… coincidence?

Question: who’s your mentor you’re learning from and how is he helping you achieve your goals?

A big part of achieving your goals is not just being good at what you do, but excelling at it as well. The thing is, when most of us see the NBA basketball players on television, we want to be like them. Many of us don’t understand that in order to get to that level, it doesn’t just take years of practice, but years of mastering the fundamentals. I heard it said that Michael Jordan would spend hours and hours just learning how to dribble and handle the ball.

If your “advanced” skills are bad, chances are it has something to do with the fact that your fundamentals aren’t good enough. Going back to professional basketball… even the “pros” occassionally double dribble, make errant passes and exhibit bad free throw shooting (ahem… no names mentioned here). If you don’t think any of this matters, just think how many games are lost because of carelessness or bad free throw shooting. All of a sudden, fundamentals seem to be quite important!

If you want to excel in your goals, especially a skill goal, such as basketball, piano, martial arts, whatever…. It all boils down to excelling in the fundamentals and being able to perform it to the extent that it’s second nature. You want to be better than everybody else, the first thing is to practice the basics better than anybody else, and even before the fundamentals, your mindset has to be set to excelling.

The way you practice your fundamentals will be indicative of what your mindset is. For more on this subject, please see click here to see this post.

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Now, in the last post, I told you about this big, huge valuable painting hidden somewhere in your house. OK… so you’re not into paintings. Well, then, what are you into? Whatever it is, substitute that in for “painting” (within reason, of course). I also mentioned that most people give up before ever finding their… whatever it is you want to find that equates to something valuable. Here’s the other problem:

That Valuable Painting Is Not the ONLY Thing In That House of Yours!

I just love it when I come up with all these wierd analogies. You see, there are other things that are… ahem… shall we say… less valuable that that painting of yours. Herein lies the problem. Most people concentrate on finding these little, small trinkets in their homes rather than that big, valuable painting.

In sports terms, most people are content hitting singles and bunting rather than focusing on that home-run (actually, I think self-help experts use that analogy too).

This is just like goal setting. Mark Murphy, in his book, “Hard Goals: The Secret From Getting Where You Are To Where You Want To Be” talks about how setting goals that are big and challenging are also, at the same time, life changing. I mean, think about those fantasy/fiction stories you read about all the time where the hero goes through all these difficult challenges and saves the world in the end. We identify with heroes like these and admire them (otherwise, these books will never get published becuase nobody will ever buy them).

Now, imagine a book where the hero’s big goal in the story is to… oh, I don’t know… eat a big mac at Mickey D’s. First of all, fiction writing is not my forte’. But, if it was, I still would imagine that it would be difficult to write a three hundred page novel on that. Second, even if you could write a three hundred page novel, I would hardly imagine anybody buying it.

That’s the problem with most people today; they are too obsessed with finding these small trinkets of little value in their homes. They’re setting goals to eat at Mc Donalds. They are not identifying that big treasure, that one potential they have that can catapult them to success, and they’re not finding people who could help them find that big potential they have.

Hence, they are content to focus on the “average” skills they have. It’s like a penguin trying to soar like an eagle. The penguin’s potential is to swim in the frigid water, NOT soar like an eagle.

That one big potential, that treasure inside of you can be just what you need to achieve that big goal. If you have trouble finding it, then it may be worthwhile to find someone who can help you.

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Let’s say, somewhere in your house is a chest with a million dollars in it. You may not know where that million dollars is, but take my word for it. Its there. OK, fine. Let’s say I know it’s there because I put it there.

Now, let’s say someone comes up to you and tells you, “You don’t have a million dollars in that house.”. Even though you may not know there’s a million dollars in that house of yours, by someone just saying you don’t have a million dollars, will that million dollars just suddenly disappear?

Of course not! That million dollars is in your house, somewhere, regarless of what other people think and regardless of whether you can find it or not! It’s there, somewhere. You’re a millionaire… you just don’t know it yet.

At this time, I’ll wait for all the life coaches, law of attraction dudes (and dudettes) and self help gurus to stop applauding because at this time, I’m going to play america’s favorite game…

Devil’s Advocate!!!

FYI: When I first heard this term during my undergraduate studies at UIC, I actually thought it had something to do with the devil! OK, so, now… let’s go with that million dollars hidden in the house example and let’s say you somehow thought it was five million dollars. Heck… maybe it was five million dollars but some schmuk who lived in the house before you spent about four million of it on booze and babes before moving out (with his boobs and babes).

So, you go around telling everyone “Hey… there’s five million dollars somewhere in my house and I’m gonna find it!”. You’re confident. You’re persistent. You have a positive attitude. You turn the entire damn house upside down!

Does any of that make a hill of beans difference as to whether or not you have five million dollars in that house? No! You may find one million, but, short of some unbelievable newsworthy miracle, you will not… and I repeat… will… not find five million dollars because of this one little overlooked fact…

It’s Not There!

Unfortunately, no amount of persistence, repeating affirmations and positive attitude will make it magically appear (although all the afore mentioned things does have its place).

The same is true for goal setting and accomplishing your goals. I believe it was Dan Kennedy, in his book “No BS Wealth Attraction In The New Economy“, he mentions that most everyone he spoke to has at least one million dollar idea or talent. In other words, hidden inside all that clutter in our “house” is a million dollars. It’s in our house regardless of what other people say.

Now, all we have to do now is to find out what that million dollar talent is. No… we may not be blessed with the ability to do everything under the sun. But maybe certain things? How about at least one thing?

Now, what the successful people do is, they take what talents they have and make the most of it. they develop it and expand it to other areas of their life. This usually requires the help of mentors and peer groups. They don’t try to “do everything”. Rather, they put their talents to where it’s the most useful, then use that success to expand into other areas.

Just like the million dollar example. OK… so you don’t have five million dollars, but you have one million dollars. Do you think it’s possible to turn that one million to five million? I’ll let you come up with the answer to that one.

This story (and post) reminds me of a story in the Bible, where Jesus told a parable about how a King gave each of his three servants some money and told them to go out and do something with it. The first servant then came back and tripled his money. The king rewarded him. The second person came back and doubled his money. The king rewarded him. The third person hid his money in the ground and came back with the same amount of money he had. The king wasn’t a happy camper with him.

Before finding out what your goals are, or before you begin to set goals, take some time to find out about yourself. Take some time to find that million dollar idea or talent or skill. Then ask yourself. Can I use what talent I have now to get me closer to my goal? If not: can I obtain that skill?

If you ask most self help gurus, they will tell you one of the main reasons people don’t accomplish their goals is because of fear. This is especially true if this is a really big goal. Brian Tracy, in his book Goals!: How To Get Everything You Want — Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible, tells how you can overcome fear and that is through knowledge and experience.

One of the easiest ways to acquire knowledge (and I’m sure you heard this before) is through reading. I know… hardly groundbreaking information. Although, with the way many people approach reading (“I’ll wait till the movie comes out”), you’d think it would be. Here’s an article I found on msn:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20381678/ns/us_news-life/

Attending classes is also another way and, no, I don’t have any statistics on how many people attend adult learning classes or how many go back to school, although if it’s anything like the article above, then it can’t be any good. Another way is finding a mentor and talking to people who have already been there is another way.

Experience, on the other hand, can be gained only with time. The thing is, as you gain experience, you should be also gaining in additional knowledge as well. Of the two, experience is, to me, more important simply because there are so many people out there who read (well, I guess “not so many”, if you go by the article above) and take classes, yet never apply that knowledge.

Jack Zufelt, in his book “The DNA of Success“, states “Knowledge is not power. The proper use of knowledge is power, and wisdom.”. So true. To do more, you must become more. Becoming more involves learning more, but knowledge, just like the person in the dream told me, is a tool. To put it more precisely, knowledge is sharpening your tool (with the actual tool being your mind). Once that tool is sharpened, you must go out and use it. This is how you get results and respect.

To read more on what I have to say about fear, please see this post.

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Take, for instance, an earlier post, I mention about focusing on your strengths, for that is the surest and fastest way to achieve your goals. You can set goals focusing on your weakness, but you will need more patience and it may take longer to see results. “But if I focus on goals which concentrate on my strength only, I won’t be challenged!”, you say. Not quite. A goal can be focused on your strengths and yet be challenging at the same time, also.

Here are some examples from books I read where the author either mentions to focus on your strengths or gave an example of someone focusing on their strengths.

1. In “Achieving Objectives Made Easy: Practical Goal Setting Tools & Proven Time Management Techniques“, the author specifically mentions to focus on your strengths by giving an analogy: “Some musically inept should probably not strive to be the next Yanni.”.

2. In “How To Win Friends and Influence People“, it mentions how Dale Carnegie studied at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts and actually toured the country, playing the role of Dr. Hartley in ‘Polly or the Circus’, but realized that “… he would never be a Booth or a Barrymore.” (apparently, these are famous actors and I didn’t even know that… and I’m an actor… uuuugggh). Now, is he a quitter? I guess… but he’s a smart quitter (just like the people who quit smoking) because he was smart enough to realize where his passions and talents lied. Because of this, hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people because better speakers and leaders.

3. In “The DNA of Success“, the author gives an example of someone aspiring to be a quarterback so he could feel important. The only problem? He was in a wheelchair. The author continued by telling him how he can still be important without being a quarterback of a football team.

Of course, there’s also personal examples, like my dad switching from electrical engineering to civil engineering and being successful.

Sometimes (not always), other people can help us determine where our strengths and abilities lie, but it is always up to us whether or not to go with it.

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Yes, you may be doing your “job” at work physically, but mentally, you’re probably thinking about what you’d be doing as soon as the clock hits 5pm (like fighting rush hour again).

Obviously, I’m not trying to sell you the idea of the pleasures of work. What I do want to emphasize here, however, it that this is the same attitude alot of people take when they pursue their goals (especially when the pursue goals they feel they “have” to do, such as losing weight). They may be “physically” doing it, but mentally, they wish they were doing something else. In a job, this may work, since you’re doing it for a paycheck. In pursuing a goal, especially a big goal where the result may not come for a looong time, this may encourage a person to quit (one of the reasons why so many people quit their goals).

In one of the first posts I made, I said that seeing results help us stick to goals, and one of the best ways to see results is this: instead of trying to set goals that are sooo big, try to set goals that are smaller, yet challenging, but where you will see results more quickly. In the book, “Hard Goals“by Mark A. Murphy, the author emphasizes how we should set goals that are difficult (so we can have a feeling of pride when we accomplish them), yet not so difficult that it would be near impossible to achieve.

Having goals closely aligned to your core desires (or heartfelt desires) helps also. In his book, “The DNA of Success“, Jack Zufelt mentions that when our goals and passions are aligned with our core desires, we don’t mind doing things that may seem pleasant as long as they move us toward our core desires.

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Statements such as:

“I want to learn dance, but I’m not flexible enough”

“I want to run competitively, but I’m not fast enough.”.

“I want to start a business, but I don’t have enough money (or knowledge, or skills or whatever).”.

These are close-ended statements. Look at each of the statments closely. Take one statement. Any. Say, “I want to run competitively, but I’m not fast enough.”. Now, I’m not trying to be funny or anything, but look at this statement and see if you can find anything in this statement that will help you run competitively (if that’s what you so desire). Again, not to be funny or anything, but how does not being fast enough help you run competitively?

Here’s a better way…

Turn Closed Ended, Negative Statements Into Open Ended Questions!

Turning closed ended, negative statements into open-ended questions is the first step to achieving your goals. For instance:

“I want to run competitively, but I’m not fast enough” could be turned into:

“How can I be fast enough so I can run competitively?”.

Now that you know you need to be fast (or fast enough) to be a competitive runner, here is where you start looking for answers.

Hmmm… where do you start? How about here??? —> Google !!!

Now, if you go to Google, you will get alot of information, including products from info-marketers and that may not be enough, but it’s a start. At the very least, you will be more educated and then explore your options, such as classes, DVDs, private instruction or if you should even pursue this goal (no… seriously. Maybe your time is better focused doing something else. This goes back to my cost/return post).

This strategy can be applied to most any closed ended, negative statements which most self-help gurus, life coaches, law of attraction experts and most successful people hate. By the way… I know in the realm of personal development, not all gurus agree on everything. However, from my experience of talking with life coaches and from reading, there are certain things they do agree on, and I can safely say this is one of them.

I believe it was Brian Tracy, in his book “Goals!: How To Get Everything You Want – Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible“,  he said that successful people always look for ways to get what they want where unsuccessful people complain about their present situation.

To put it another way: Open ended questions motivate you towards action and towards finding solutions. It gives you a “solution-oriented minset” (which is something people – especially business people – loooove) while closed ended statements motivate you to sit on the couch and watch reality shows.

In the previous post, I explained about the driving forces (pursuit of pleasure, removal of pain) that move people to act and stay on their goal but here’s the thing: The longer you delay in starting those goal, the less these driving forces matter, regardless of how strong the pain is or how desireable the pleasure is. Eventually, if you procrastinate long enough, you, too will experience learned helplessness and your mind will be conditioned to accept the current situation.

If you don’t believe me, think about how many people stay in their jobs for five, ten even fifteen years or more despite the fact they complain about how crummy the job is, how crummy the pay is, how crummy their colleagues are, “but what can I do?”, they will moan. Whenever you hear that or a similar statment, that’s learned helplessness. They may have tried a few times in the distant past to escape their condition, but they did not persist and eventually gave up for various reasons (obviously, whatever they tried didn’t work) and now just accept the condition for what it is.

If you are not persistent in pursuing your goals and, just as important, if you don’t immediately act after setting goals, regardless of the pleasure or the pain, yes, indeed, you, too will experience the “awesome” power of learned helplessness!

Before I delve into that more, I want to talk to you about something else I’m familiar with, namely, marketing or internet marketing. Don’t worry… I’m not pitching anything to you (at least not yet ).

Anyway, in the subject of internet marketing, they often say that the number one most important thing that determines is not your e-mail marketing messages, it’s not in how well you have your autoresponder set up or how well you automate everything, or how well you rank in the search engines or even how well your sales letter is (so much for that “copy is king” theory). The number one most important thing (and this is were Gary Halbert is right)?

“A Starving Crowd!!!”

To put it in another way, an audience who wants something soooo bad that they will pay almost any price to get it. Usually, what they want is:

1. The addition of pleasure (something that will make them sexier, richer, live longer) so they can do what they want to do, or do more of what they want to do.

2. The removal of pain (this pain is so strong that they want it removed).

Mark A. Murphy, in his book Hard Goals: The Secret To Getting From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be called this “Hearfelt” goals. Larry Winget (I believe) said something along those lines, too, that you probably aren’t gonna do something about it unless whatever it is affects you to the extent that it makes you cry (pain). Now, personally speaking, I don’t think you truly have to cry. I don’t think I ever cried when I was in debt and I definitely didn’t cry when I was pursuing my acting – unless, perhaps, if the role called for it (then again, honestly, “crying” was one of the hardest things for me as an actor).

The funny thing about the two criteria for determining how well you stick to achieving your goals is that, the above two can be related. Let’s look at a hot internet marketing product. Say… oh, I don’t know… internet marketing! Look at almost all the salesletters for internet marketing products and you’ll see many of them border on the “get rich quick” programs (some may very well be). These are successful because whoever buying them (and willing to shell out $$$ for them) probably not only wants to get rich, but probably has some sort of pain that they feel getting rich can solve (for instance… they’re dirt poor or they hate their job). The people who make these internet marketing products make their living and money off these people.

I mean, think about it. If these people are already wealthy and well-off, would they really waste the money and effort to buy an internet marketing product and then waste their time trying to make the thing work (by the way… I’ve purchased internet marketing products, so I know alot of them are hard as hell to implement. I’d rather be spending my time doing something else… or someone else ).

Now consider this, let’s say I “kinda” want to get rich, but, ehhh… I’m OK with what I have. Well, then… you can still sell me on your product, but this is where you really have to sharpen up your sales skills and persuasion skills to get me to fork over my money. This is the type of customers, also, that sales people hate because the ones who say “Yes, I want it, I NEED it.”, well, you don’t really need sales skills for these people. The people who say “No. I don’t need it.”, well, you they won’t really waste your time. The ones who are “wishy-washy”? Well, these are the people where you have to talk to, persuade and use all your skills to “nudge”.

What does this have to do with achieving your goals? Alot. Just like sales and marketing, the stronger your desire for that goal, the greater your chances of sticking to it, regardless of the “other” techniques, such as writing down your goals, positive affirmations, mantras, etc….

To me, desire is measured as this:

1. The removal (or avoidance) of “pain”. The more intense the pain, the better chance you will have of sticking to that goal designed to remove it.

2. The addition (expectation) of “pleasure”. Preferably, pleasure you’ve never experienced before.

In other words, the best chances of sticking with a goal are goals which have dramatic improvements on your life by increasing pleasure or removing pain.

So, yes, writing down your goals and all that works, as long as the root cause of the goal is directed at alleviating the two problems. This is just like salesletters and e-mail blasting works… as long as you have something the person desperately wants.

Speaking of internet marketing. A well-known internet marketer “broke the rules” once, but it wasn’t the rule of selling something nobody wants. It’s that he had a hot product with a proven hungry audience, then set up a web page that basically said “XYZ for sale”. It was still profitable despite the fact that it had no “hot sales copy” and other marketing whizbangs.

Unless the root of your goals fall under one (or both) of the above two categories, you will either have a very difficult time sticking with that goal, or you will need to hire a salesman . This is why I feel there are coaches and support groups to “nudge” you to accomplishing these goals you’re “wishy washy” on.

I mean, think about it. Let’s say I stepped on a nail or broke my foot. What’s the first thing I’m gonna do? I’m not gonna get out a piece of paper an write out “I, David Ho will set out a goal that I will get out my cell phone and call 911 to get an ambulance. When the paramedics arrive, I will tell them what happened, blah… blah… blah…” and I’m certainly not gonna visualize the ambulance coming. My goal is…

I’m Gonna Call The Freakin’ Ambulance!

By the way…no need to “sell” me on the idea, either. No need to buy a self-help book.

Same thing, too if I want to have hot sex with a girl. I’m not gonna write down “my goal is to have sex with a girl.”. I’d either call a dating service or… ahem… something.

Case Study #1:

Me! When I was deeply in debt, every time I looked at the bank account, it hurt me (pain) that I didn’t have the money to buy things I wanted (pleasure). Now, I suppose I could recite mantras and positive affirmations of “I am wealthy” or “I have $50,000 in the bank” or envision how a wealthy life is. The only problem is the stupid, damn credit card company has to always call me up at the wrong time and interrupt me during my visualization and tell me to stop living in lala land and pay up (definitely pain)!

What about my desire to stick to acting and land a role? Well, here I have to take you back to high school (or even grade school) when I was small, shy and hardly talked. I was also always picked on (pain). Alot. In terms of grades, I was average. Basically, I never did anything important and never really considered myself important (pain).

Acting, being in front of everyone, especially when they applauded, gave me a sense of importance. It also gave me reason to believe that the people who looked down on me in high school are wrong about me. The stage may have something to do with it, too. Think about it. When you’re on stage, you’re “above” everybody else (pleasure). That kinda gives you that “air” or superiority. Also, a part of it may have to do with my perception that actors are famous, “special” people so by virtue of being an actor, I was special also and, well, better than everybody else (pleasure).

Case Study #2:

Have you ever read the “biographies” of many of these personal development coaches, success coaches and internet marketers? Many of them tell stories such as how they were bankrupt, broke, homeless, in jobs they hated, lived in a studio apartment, etc…. Imagine how painful that may feel. How much do you have to do to convince them to change their lives, assuming they truly hated their conditions and hated the “pain” it would cause them?

I’m sure many of them have lived in those conditions for… what… five… maybe ten years? If that’s the case, do you think they would commit to something for one year, maybe two, if it would mean not being in those conditions for another five years?

Now, consider the alternative: Let’s say these people said to themselves, “Eh… these conditions could be better, but that’s OK. It’s better than nothing. It’s not the best, but I can still live with this.”.

Unfortunately, that’s the attitude many people take with their jobs: “Eh… it’s a crummy job, but it pays well and, well… I’m sure many people have crummy jobs.”. No wonder it’s so hard to get them motivated to do anything, except maybe go to work!

There was this one pharmacist I told who kept complaining to everyone who bothered listening to her how she hated her job… until she saw her paycheck which arrived every two weeks. “Eh… this job isn’t so bad.”, she’d say. Then she’d temporarily forget the “pain” (so it must not be that painful).

Case Study #3:

Jack Zufelt, in his book, The DNA of Success (see, I read personal development books, too ) told of a story of how he was picked on as a kid and how his dad said that he has a “coward” for a son (pain, pain pain). Later on in life, he became a blackbelt in Karate and learned how to fight, even though it was years later, he still used the pain from the past as motivation.

Case Study #4:

In his book, Hard Goals, author Mark A. Murphy described the story of how a doctor kept telling the patient to lose weight. The patient “tried” but in truth, wasn’t too motivated. Yes, he wanted to get fit, but then again, what’s “fit”? In his definition, he was fit… until his doctor told him that he developed diabetes (pain) and was going to die in about a year if he didn’t lose the weight and exercise (BIG TIME PAIN). He finally committed to exercising and lost the weight.

Incidentally, isn’t it interesting how we, as society (and I’m to blame, too) wait for the pain to come in order to do anything about it? Hmmm… more reason to set goals and achieve them!

I’m sure there are many other case studies, but you kinda get the picture.

So, again, I’m kinda sorry that I bashed all the other techniques in my other posts. They do work and they may get you to where you’re going alittle faster and may even give you a clearer direction, much in the same way social media, autoresponders, article marketing and salesletter will help you profit better, but (and correct me if I’m wrong here) I don’t think I’ve yet to see a salesletter that reads:

“How To Make $50,000.00 A Month Selling Totally Useless, Boring Crap That Nobody Cares About!!!”. 

 Just remember to “anchor” them with a motive you truly care about. Focus on those goals first, then as for the others, well, you may need the help of your other… uh… salesmen (positive affirmations, writing them down, visualizing, etc…).

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Every heard of this guy? He’s the man who’s gained fame a while back for the one red paperclip experiment. Basically, what he did was that he started out with just one red paperclip and then went online and traded that paperclip for a fish shaped pen. He then traded that pen for a hand shaped doorknob. He then continued this trend until he ended up with this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Red-paperclip-news-1.jpg.

Pretty cool, huh? Personally, I’d like to see him do that with a yellow paperclip. Wonder if he would have the same luck .

But, uh… seriously though. Oftentimes, people have difficulty achieving larger goals. Personally, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve failed at achieving large goals. Fortunately, I did manage to acheve one of the biggest goal of my life (getting out of over 30K in debt). Landing my first role in a children’s musical is considered pretty big in my life, too, and just like the red paperclip experiment, I achieved these goals by starting out small.

All Kyle Macdonald had was one red freakin’ paperclip, but he used what he had (plus some creativity, which I imagine we all have to some degree) to achieve bigger and better things. He also used the concept of helping people. How? Well, think about it. Those people who he bartered the paperclip, the fish pen, all those “thingamajigs”… they probably had problems that they were hoping that paperclip and the fishpen could solve. In other words, they probably had goals too! Of course, the fact that many of them were too lazy to hop on down to the local retail store to buy their own pen or paperclip or doorknob helped, too.

I don’t know about you, but that itsy bitsy paperclip doesn’t seem like much. Heck, it probably has a total value of, say… $0.01 maybe? OK, so it’s a red paperclip. $0.03 then. Obviously, that paperclip didn’t have much value to him, otherwise he would have kept it. But to other people, it had value.

When you look at achieving those huge far-fetched goals, look at what you have. Even if it’s a red paperclip. And if you don’t even have that, then go out and buy a red paperclip for Pete’s sake ! Take whatever you have, go from wherever you are and use whatever you have now to achieve the smaller goals first. The very fact that you are breathing means you have something of value. And if you’re not even breathing, then I guess you’ve got much bigger problems than what this blog can help you with. I talked about this when I discussed the concept of momentum.

This is how bigger goals are achieved. Yes, I know they say keep your eyes on the big prize, or think big, but thinking big to me is like when you plan to drive to, say, Disneyworld. You can’t just focus on Disneyworld, otherwise you’ll miss the crucial roads to take and if you’re too focused on Disneyworld, you’ll miss the important road signs and not to mention the car that suddenly stopped in front of you. Between the starting point and the Big Picture are so many little goals you have to accomplish first. Before you win the Superbowl, you have to win the regular season games and make the playoffs first.

That’s it for now. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go find a red paperclip.

You wouldn’t want to do the assignment half-way, then stop and focus on something else. Can you imagine doing that at work? Another way to look at it is this: Remember when you were a child, your mother said you can’t have dessert unless you finish what’s on your plate? That’s how you should tackle your goals. You can’t go on to the next goal unless you focus on and finish the goal that’s on your plate… oh, and remember to chew. You don’t want to choke, do you .

So, it would be kinda funny that at this point, I would give you…

The Exception!!!!

Okay, I guess the saying holds true that there are exceptions to every rule and (sigh) here is the exception to this and here goes: Yes, you can focus on multiple goals…

As Long As The Other Goals Don’t Conflict With One Another!

Look at it this way… let’s say you’re on your way to an important meeting. Assuming you have enough time, would it be wrong to stop off for a quick snack before the meeting? No… as long as the place you’re stopping at is on the way to your meeting. You wouldn’t want to, say, make a U-turn and go the other direction opposite of where you’re meeting is just to grab a quick bite.

This is the same way with goals. Let’s say you have two goals: One is to find a new job and the other is to be more fit. Is it possible, in this scenario to do both? Of course. Let’s say one of the places you plan to interview is a mile from where you live. Instead of taking the car, you could just walk (unlike me, who gets in the car and drives to the pizza place 5 blocks from my house. Heck… I even get in the car and drive just to see my next door neighbor. I just get in the car and put it in reverse ). This would accomplish both goals and here, it won’t interfere with your primary goal of looking for a job.

I believe this is what the Law of Attraction folks call “harmony” or something. I hate to get all metaphysical or metaspiritual or meta”whatever you call it”, but as long as the goals don’t conflict with your primary goal, then you can get as metaphysical as you want with your multiple goals.

Other than that, just do what I tell you and focus on one goal. It will make me feel better that somebody is actually doing what I’m telling them .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SkBV4CWMjA&feature=related

Often times, when we first set goals for ourselves, we focus on things we should do. However, just as important are the things we should avoid, or things you shouldn’t be doing. Just as in theatre, opposites move actors away from their goal, so to in the pursuit of our dreams and goals, opposites can move them away.

We say we want to lose weight, but, man… that double chocolate cream pie looks so lonely sitting in that counter window. Why don’t we give it a home… in our warm belly !!!

Here’s another opposite that may surprise you, simply because it’s based upon something that so many well-intentioned people in the personal development industry tell us. “What others think about you doesn’t matter. It’s what you think about yourself that matters!“. In general, not bad advice and it can have it’s merit. But, consider: suppose you’re preparing for a very important job interview, or you plan to meet an important client. If you’re trying to make an impression or, more importantly, land that six figure management position, can you really afford to take the “I don’t care what everybody says about me” approach, especially if it’s the interviewer or the client who has the final decision on you?

Or if a guest invites you to his house, would you just “prop” your feet on his brand new antique table just because it’s something you do to your coffee table at home? If getting that important management position or landing that important client is important to your goals, then you have to be ready to make sacrifices.

If you truly want to achieve your goals as quickly as possible, you have to not only do the things that propel you towards your goals, but also eliminate, or at least limit the things that hinder you from achieving your goal.

Prime example of taking care of opposites: When I made the decision to get out of my $30,000.00 plus debt, I did two things: I increased the amount of money I was making while decreased my spending.

How did I increase the amount of money I was making? Well, initially (as you read in previous posts), I was looking at various work at home opportunities. Eventually, those turned out to be more of an opposite (it was taking out more of my money than it was putting in). So, I used another method: I started working overtime while getting another part-time job. Yeah, I know, not the most creative, and all those home business gurus are probably shaking their heads right now.

This worked in both ways. Not only was I increasing the amount of money coming in, but because I was working so many hours, I didn’t have time to spend any money, so by working all those hours, I naturally decreased my spending also! I was doing things that propelled me towards my goal, but at the same time, taking care of the opposites and the extra money just went to paying off my debts!

That being said, I just have to show you this scene one more time, as I think it is soooo funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SkBV4CWMjA&feature=related

This is why, for so many people, setting goals by writing them down, at least the way you’ve been taught, don’t work. What you’re in essence is you’re just writing down the result. Same, too… I hear people say things such as “write yourself a check for $100,000.00 and put it in your wallet and keep it there until you make $100,000.00.” I think it actually worked for an actor – I think it was Jim Carey – but even with him, I believe he was already in the entertainment business and was taking positive action when he wrote that check.

If you’re to write things down, here’s a better way to do it.

Introducing “The Goal Blueprint Method” (C)

Let’s take the example with Europe. OK, so you want to go on a two week vacation to Europe. What should you do? Well, first you would:

1. Plan your trip and find out which countries you want to go.

2. Find out the best season to go.

3. Go online and find the best airline rate.

4. Find out if there are any package deals.

5. Find out how much it would cost (duh).

6. Find out if you can afford it (duh II). If not, then is there a way you can get the money (and, no, I don’t mean writing a check for yourself for whatever it cost to go to Europe and stashing it in your wallet).

7. Find out the current exchange rates.

8. And so much more.

When you write your goals, you should follow a similar approach:

1. Find out what you want to do (most books teach this).

2. How important is it to you (also, in most books).

3. Talk to people who have already done it and get information from them. Then decide is this really something you want to do based on the information (after talking it over, it may be not). Ask and get specific actions and what you need to do.

4. Now you have a “roadmap” of specific actions. It’s time to plan.

5. Write down, for each day, a specific, doable action that will take you closer towards your goal. Let’s say it’s to lose weight. If you normally have a banana split after dinner, write down and devote that for the next day, cut out that banana split.

6. For each day, devote yourself to another specific action that will move you closer to your goal.

7. Keep note of any obstacles and how you plan to overcome them.

The best thing is, this plan works best in conjunction with other strategies, such as those found under the social influence category (right support group, right environment and right mentor). Writing down a goal that is nothing but an end result is difficult. When you break it down into specific, measurable actions you can do, now you have a roadmap.

The “shooting guard” mentality is the approach the shooting guard of a basketball team takes when he is in a “slump”. That is, he is missing shot after shot, and what they usually say when you’re a shooting guard and you’re in a slump is that you have to “shoot your way out of it”.

This is very similar to the “never give up” approach and the “keep trying approach” you hear alot about, which is not really wrong, but the thing is, often times, people keep trying and trying with the same approach!

Going back to basketball… when the 3-point shot is not falling for the player, is it really practical to keep trying with the 3-point shot? No! Yes, the 3-points is more than 2 points, but if the 3 pointer is NOT falling for you, you don’t get three points. You get a big fat ZERO. Oh… you also get boos (or cheers if you’re playing an away game) and a spot on the bench right next to the coach.

What you would do is you find other ways to manufacture your shots: short jumpers, easy layups and dunks, getting baskets from turnovers. Heck… even getting to the free throw line and getting baskets. Points are points regardless of how you get them.

Same thing with attaining your goals. If startng a home-based business is not working for you with whatever approach you have, then it’s time to change your approach. Either get coaching or consulting, hire someone to do the marketing for you or deciding whether to ditch the business, taking some time off and evaluating where you went wrong!

Yes… even getting a job! I know there are many home business owners who snarl and grind their teeth at that idea, but the last thing you want is to become desperate. Desperation will not help your situation. It will not bring income to you (at least not long term). If it did, all those beggars out there in the streets will be rolling in dough because many of them are desperate.

Even more so, alot of people feel “uncomfortable” helping people who are desperate. How many times have you had people coming up to you begging for money and giving you a sad story. Even if you did give money (which I have), it kinda makes you feel uncomfortable, doesn’t it?

Back when I was in acting class, I was attending a workshop where the speaker (who works for a major talent agency) said to the class “don’t immediately quit your day job as soon as you graduate.”. The reason is because it may take a while before you land your first major “gig” and the last thing you want is to go to an agent’s office and say to her “Please… I’ll take anything you’ve got. You have to help me!” (insert sob story here). In short: desperation is not a plan. It’s an emotional state (and not a very healthy one at that, either).

Yes… a job may not be the “grandest” way to make money, but it’s money nonetheless and just because you start with a job (or go back to working a job) does not mean you have to end up there. You could just use it as a means to an end.

OK… this is something you may not hear any expert say but here it is: Throughout my blog, I’ve been giving you methods and strategies I used to help me out one of the darkest moments of my life. I’ve also achieved many positive things with this method and hopefully, you will find things in here to help you, too. Personally, I think it’s a really good strategy.

That being said…

What I Have Is “A” Method… NOT THE METHOD.

That being said, I really don’t think there is the method that fits for everybody. If using the methods I outlined here does not work for you, don’t keep using it blindly (just like the shooting guard who keeps shooting three pointers. Nothing wrong with three pointers, but if it’s not working for you…). Do something else to try to achieve your goals.

Just like my dad who tried to get a degree and make a good living with electrical engineering. It didn’t work, but civil engineering did.

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Now let’s look at a similar example with a more famous person. Someone by the name of… Michael Jordan. You may have heard of him. You know… the basketball guy? Won all these championships for the Chicago Bulls? Well, when Michael Jordan left basketball for another sport, he didn’t achieve the same status as he did when he was with basketball. We was OK, maybe at times he was good, but from my understanding, he never went farther than the minor leagues.

What I’m trying to get at with these examples is this, and I know there will be life coaches, personal development gurus, shamans and the like who will disagree with me on this and that’s OK… they can go get their own blog and post their own opinions (which won’t be as awesome as mine ), but here’s my point: Even though I give you techniques and strategies to help achieve your goal, the best way to achieve them is in accordance to your strengths.

Let’s look at one last example:

This example involves me. When I was deep in debt, I didn’t get out of my debt by joining one of those network marketing/business opportunies. Don’t get me wrong… I tried to do those things and as I mentioned in a previous post, I only got further into debt. Had I did nothing else but stuck to trying out network marketing/business opportunities, I’d probably be in hiding somewhere right now.

Instead, I went to what I could do and what I’ve been able to do which was work in my pharmacy job. Yes, I know there are stories out there about people who were desperate, in debt, etc… and they joined a business opportunity and all of a sudden they paid off their debt in a month. Heck… I’m sure there’s someone else out there who did it in a week. Unfortunately, none of those people were there to help me and I’m sure they had to work to develop their skills. For me, I used a more practical approach and a practical plan (hence the title of this blog: Practical Goal Achieving). Of course, after I got rid of my debt learned how to save, I was able to get more creative. Oh, by the way… by sticking to a practical plan (with a “touch” of “affordable creativeness” sprinkled in) to not only get out of debt but to save, I was able to stop working multiple jobs and focus on things I really love. As a matter of fact, for over three years and with the occasional exception of helping out my friends cover extra shifts, I have yet to work forty hours a week. This allowed me to go back to school to pursue acting and also allowed me to land my first role in a community theatre musical.

Warning: BEWARE of The Statment Below (And Anybody Who Tell You This) :-0!!!

There’s a very common belief system circulating in the personal development/self-help community and you should be aware of and that’s this: “You can achieve anything you put your mind into”. There may have been variations of this statement but in general that’s how the belief goes.

While that statement is not entirely wrong, if my dad or I followed this statement, he would have never graduated with an engineering degree (because I’m sure he put his mind into his electrical engineering studies) and I don’t even want to think about how much debt I’d be in right now if I put my mind on making the network marketing programs I was in work.

Sun Tzu was correct when he said “Know Your Opponent and Know Yourself“. You have to know what you are capable of, what your abilities are and what resources you have at your disposal. Yes… you can achieve (almost) anything you put your mind to… probably. But if you want to prove that statement correct, at the very least, achieve it within the confines of your abilities. This is especially true if your goal is to get out of a bad situation (such as me getting out of debt). Then, once you’ve gotten out of that situation, then you can afford to be more creative and expand your skills.

Here’s a little exercise for you:

If you have time to read this blog, then I’m sure you have time to do this. On a piece of paper (OK, in this computer age, who uses paper and pen anymore – fine… your laptop will do for this exercise), write down the following:

1. Your current resources (money, personal items and possessions, valuables, anything you own).

2. Skills/traits you consider yourself to be great at.

3. Skills/traits you are OK at.

4. What people say you’re really good at.

5. Things you could do right now.

6. Your network. Who are the people around you who you could depend on and who you feel could help you.

7. Skills/traits they’re good at.

Next, make a list of your goals and then see how you can use what you have now to achieve them. You may not be able to achieve all of them, but look at the list of goals to see which ones you could achieve right now given your skills and abilities and then use this momentum to build into achieving your other goals. We’ll cover more on the concept of momentum later.

P.S.: Although I suppose it can be interpreted this way, I’d hate to make the “blanket” statement that my dad is terrible at electrical engineering or that Michael Jordan would never be a good baseball player. However, I will say that had he decided to stay with electrical engineering, it would have taken him way longer and he probably would have to sacrifice more.

Incidentally, with myself, even though I struggled with my classes, there was one subject I was actually really good at and that was Psychology. I never had anything lower than a B in any of my Psychology courses. As a matter of fact, there was this one really difficult course in Psycology, Statistics and Research, where if you got a C, it was considered good. I ended up getting a B in that course. You would think I would just get a Psychology degree. Oddly enough, I stuck with Pharmacy. It did take longer (at that time, it would take the average student about two years doing pre-pharmacy before they would make it to pharmacy school. It took me four years in pre-pharmacy before I got accepted), but I did get accepted in the end. In my case, I was willing to make the extra sacrifices.

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