“Run, Lia, Run!” Shouted Lizi, as the two women sprinted through the forest.

Footsteps could be heard as their pursuers decreased the distance between them. The crying baby in Kalia’s arms was slowing them down. Sounds of a whip cracking echoed through the woods. Streaks of lightning crashed into the trees, sending shards of bark flying all around them.

“I need time to open up the gateway!” Lizi yelled while weaving through the trees.

Panic and fear gripped the two as they approached Crystal Lake. Dark silhouettes could be seen out of the corner of their eyes. The hooded men behind them sent streams of light shooting through the forest. Thunder clouds darkened the night sky as they ran. Lightning bolts lit up the path ahead, crawling along the ceiling above. The sounds of war rumbled in the distance behind them, but for Lia and Lizi, it no longer mattered.

As the two women sprinted to the edge of the sparkling water, Lia knew that her sister could not open the gateway before their pursuers caught up with them. Her only hope was to buy Lizi enough time to put the spell on the key.

“Lizi, I need you to take the baby and use the key. I will try and fight them off while you open the gateway,” Lia said firmly.

The calm in her sister’s voice was unsettling. At that moment, Lizi could tell that Lia had no intention of going with her.

“You can’t fight them alone!” Lizi said, tears pouring down her face.

“We don’t have time to argue! You need to open the gateway.” Lia’s order was final.

As she walked back towards the woods, Lizi saw her sister pause, and turn to face her. The moon had found its way through the thunder clouds above, shining down on them. A loving smile spread across Lia’s face. Moonlight shone on the small patch of grass along the edge of the lake. Lizi’s tears cascaded towards the ground. She held the key up to read the inscription, and then glanced towards the woods. Lia had already vanished.

Lizi recited the spell on the Keeper’s Key.

“Kal tu mon chalintiok.

Kamen zee hollow al buvar

Olom gartem xyzar ullar

Timir un…” (Crash)

A huge Douglas Fir toppled to the ground, missing Lizi by mere inches. She turned to see a large ball of blue fire escaping the forest canopy. Streaks of red and yellow darted across the blackness of the woods. Lizi only had a few seconds to complete the incantation.

“Timir unon bolvia getmalla

Yimbar salmee hualla nindar

“SONORA!” As she finished, Lia came limping out of the forest.

The water in Crystal Lake began to move. In a moment the gateway would engulf them.

“Lia! You can make it!” She shouted, unable to move without breaking the spell and closing the gateway.

Lia could hear the men behind her yelling orders to attack. Lightning streaked across the sky, followed by monstrous thunder that shook the ground. Lizi watched as her sister was attacked by the King’s assassins. The baby in Lizi’s arms was now silent, and for a moment, time stood still. She could see the same loving smile on her sister’s face that she’d known her entire life. Lizi loved her sister more than anyone in the world. Lia slowed to a stop in the tall grass. Behind Lizi, water was spinning rapidly and began to climb upward, defying gravity.

As Lizi stared at her sister, for what seemed much more than seconds, a small light appeared at the tip of Lia’s fingers. She glowed. Electricity was streaming from within her body, down through her arms, and into her hands. Balls of light were forming in her palms. Lizi could see the concentration and resolve in her sister’s face.

The hooded men inched out of the forest’s edge, unable to comprehend the sight of the large water tornado in front of them. One of the men saw the cyclone building behind Lizi and yelled to the others. What came next happened in an instant. Lia turned towards the men, clasped her hands together, and launched a flaming sheet of fire at them. A violent explosion sent the hooded men flying through the night sky. A huge cloud of debris from the explosion shot out in all directions. Noise reverberated across the lake, drowning out the thunder.

Lizi anticipated her sister’s move and put an energy field around her and the baby for protection. But even the energy field wasn’t enough to protect them from the force of the explosion. Lizi and the baby were sent flying through the air. Luckily, the gateway had finally opened, sucking them both down through the funnel of water and out of Sonora.

All Rights Reserved

Copyrighted 2009

            In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth.  He decided to exist.  No one knows how or why, but everyone makes a guess.  There was nothing.  Then, there was something.

           At its conception the Universe wasn’t the immeasurable abyss that it is today.  It was incredibly small and infinitely dense.  God marveled at His creation, but not for very long.  Existence was an amazing invention, but not of sufficient interest for a being of inconceivable presence and power.  He decided to blow some shit up.

           And there was light.  God saw the light, and that the light was good.  Contented for eons, He watched the product of His second invention:  chaos–a Jackson Pollock of fusing particles.  Void and formless matter became hydrogen and then helium.  From these gases stars formed, lived long and productive lives and exploded sending new elements across the Universe.

           Eventually, giant balls of rock and gas gathered around new stars.  At least one of which found itself under perfect conditions to house something as fragile as life.  It was isolated from most of the carnage that was happening almost everywhere else.  Its moon acted as a lightning rod for meteors.  It had a moderate temperature and a charged iron core which generated an electromagnetic field that deflected harmful radiation.

           God watched in awe as inanimate material grouped together and began to move itself.  It replicated and over time minute changes transformed these organisms into many varieties.  Each one was specialized to survive in a different niche of its volatile world.

           God wasn’t impressed.  Everything inside His creation was governed by rules of logic and mathematics.  Everything was a science—physics, chemistry, biology.  Nothing was unpredictable.  Nothing did anything other than what was expected.

           Billions of years alone made God a little crazy.  He was having an identity crisis and did something very rash.  “Let Us make Man in Our image,” He said.  “Let Us give him the ability to choose.”  He threw a wrench into the gears of a perfectly ordered world.

           God formed Man from the ground and breathed life into him.  He created them male and female.  His only command was to be fruitful and multiply, to subdue the Earth.  The meaning of life:  Eat!  Fuck!  Sleep!  Repeat!

           Man was happy to obey and quickly built a routine of hunting and gathering food each day, devouring it greedily and mating until he could no longer hold his eyes open.  Woman, however, grew tired of such a base existence, but Man reminded her that disobeying such a powerful being as God would be most unwise.

           Meanwhile, back in heaven God was displeased and still talking to Himself.   “They’re not doing anything interesting.  They can do whatever they want, but choose to act like mammals.”

           “They’re doing exactly what we told them to do.”

           “We gave them creativity and vision.”

           “We gave them fear and a thunderous command from the sky.”

           “They’re perfectly happy to live out their lives eating and copulating.”

           “There is a seed of discontent, but how to make it grow?”

           “They must not depend on Us for guidance.  They must learn to think for themselves.”

           “They must learn to disobey.”

           “Yes, but they have to figure it out on their own.  I will give them a test.”

           “And I will go down there to tempt them.”

           In the east God planted a garden and filled it with every kind of tree and plant for Man to use.  In the center of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of knowledge.  He brought both Man and Woman to the garden and said, “Everything here is yours.  Do whatever you want, but do not eat from the tree of knowledge.  Its secrets are not meant for you.”

           Man called that place Paradise.  Food was always within arm’s reach and he discovered that if he ate or set certain plants on fire he could expand his consciousness.  One day while Man was napping post-coitus, Woman crept softly from the springy pile of moss that was their bed.  She was restless.  She didn’t know what was wrong or where she was going, but she had to move.  After wandering for hours she came into a clearing at the center of the garden.

           A mile away, Man was waking.  He rolled over to embrace his mate, but only felt the soft moss.  His emotions were strong and confusing.  He was afraid and concerned.  “What will I do without her?”  It was the first time anything felt love for something else.  He rose to his feet, ready to act, but didn’t know what to do and sat down with his head hung.  If she were there she would have nestled against him or harshly reminded him to be a man.  Either way she would have made him feel better.

           “That’s it!” he said again on his feet.  That’s all she talked about.  “That damn tree.  It will give me the knowledge to bring her back or at least to make a new one.”  Off he ran.

           Both of God’s personalities prickled with excitement.

           Hesitantly, Woman walked towards the two trees and stood between them at the exact center of the garden.  On her left was all the knowledge of God and to her right was everlasting life.

           “You could live forever,” came a hissing voice from behind her.

           She didn’t startle or even turn around.  She stood staring over her left shoulder.  “What if I don’t want to live forever?”

           “Why wouldn’t you?  You would never get sick or hurt.  You would never die.  Nothing would ever change.”

           “Knowledge will free me from the bland and the mundane.”

           “Then reach out your hand and take it.”

           “God will know and He will be angry.”

           “Well, the choice is yours:  eternal life or a moment of true freedom before you are snuffed out.”

           Man came to the clearing and saw Woman standing between the trees, covered only by her flowing hair.  His heart jumped.  He had her back, but grew worried again when she grabbed a fruit from the tree of knowledge.  He ran to her.  Her eyes locked with his, and she ate of it before he could stop her.

           She expected her mind to flood with knowledge.  He waited for her to be struck down.  Neither happened, but a change did occur.

           The worldviews of both Man and Woman were severely shaken.  They had disobeyed God, but they had not been punished.  Was He unaware?  Was He unable?  Man went to the center of the garden and gorged himself on the tree of knowledge in open defiance.  “God, are you there?”

           Silence.

           “We have sinned, Lord.  The woman You made for me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”

           Silence still.

           “Don’t You care?”

           “I care a great deal.”

           Man felt a curious sensation when he heard God speak.  He had always seemed so distant, but now He was answering his questions.  Now, He was tangible.  “What was the point of all this:  the woman, the garden, the tree?”

           God was puzzled and as a result intrigued by Man’s question.  He Himself had never asked or even thought of Why, but He didn’t want to lose His cool in front of the little ones.  “I wanted you to see Paradise.  You and your kind can have everything.  You can learn to manipulate this realm in amazing ways.  Your dreams and your nightmares will hang on your every decision.”  He went on to talk about responsibility and legacy and blah blah blah, but Man heard only one thing.

           “What happened?” said Woman upon Man’s return.

           “I spoke with Him and He told me something incredible.  We can do whatever we want.  I’ve had some great ideas already.  We’ll start by tying some vines together into a swing and hang it in a tree.”  He thought it was self-explanatory, but she didn’t get it.  “It’ll give me more leverage when I fuck you.”

           She smiled seductively.  “You really like me don’t you?”

           “I think I love you.”

           “Good.”  Her face became serious.  “When you refer to that you say ‘make-love.’  And if you want it again you’ll have to work for it.  I’m not sleeping on the ground anymore.  Build me a house!”

           Man examined his options.  There was only one woman, and the tree wasn’t going to be any help.  It would be best to make her happy.  “Fine, Woman.  I’ll build you a house and more, but I will make-love to you whenever and however I want it.”

           “Stop calling me Woman!  I’m going to be a mother soon.”

           The first social contract:  The man shall toil the ground.  The woman shall bring forth children.

Chevalier

Il pourrait être une fois, un type qui dessinerait un héros à son image.

Tiré d’un imaginaire trop dépendant des moussons de l’inspiration, ce héros s’épanouirait dans les sillons du papier creusé par les crayons, voguerait dans les méandres des fleuves d’encre et gravirait un à un les pixels qui donneront forme à son essence.

Il serait un de ces héros aux idéaux inébranlables qui ne sont pas dupe des travers de la vie. Il serait un aventurier sans peurs et sans poches. Il pourrait être un fils de la plaine né sous le signe du loup.

Sa quête serait grandiose et sa récompense inestimable.

Il pourrait être une partie de moi. Il peut aussi être une partie de vous, car après tout une aventure n’est pavée que de rencontres et d’opportunités, d’idées et de propositions.

A ceux qui veulent prendre part à l’épopée, n’hésitez pas à commenter pour peut être redessiner la céleste courbe du destin de ce héros qui bercera bientôt vos nuits.

naissance

Au commencement, il n’y avait rien, genre que dalle quoi. C’était quelque chose de désespérément vide.

Poussé par on ne sait quelle onctueuse force mystique, quelque chose apparut. (alors qu’il n’y avait rien, je vous le rappelle. C’est dire si ça revient de loin.)

Cette chose c’est une volonté, un souhait d’exposer et de partager, de montrer et d’éprouver.

Moi, grand créateur, m’auto-investit de la divine mission de faire couler l’encre et le sang, d’exposer ce que je fais et ce que je suis.

Agréable visite.

]]> http://almosthomelizzy.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/itinerary-2/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:54:46 +0000 lizzymuzzy http://almosthomelizzy.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/itinerary-2/

I’m starting my adventure home in two months. So that means two months to get rid of a lot of junk that was for some reason extremely necessary to pack when I took off for Buenos Aires in late August. Two months to devise a game plan. And, two months to go absolutely crazy running across a foreign land, meeting people, learning a new language and  overall just living in the present.

On the other hand, I forgot to mention how I’m going to go about finding home. I’ve decided that most of my money is going into travel but I want to give my brother a really special birthday present this year, not for any particular reason except that we like to outdo each other every year. We grew up only 17 months apart and most of my childhood memories are a mix of us having the best times together and also getting smacked around quite a bit. When we hit adolescence, it turned into a game of who made better grades and as high school approached, and we had some money saved from summer jobs, we would try to outdo each other in gift giving to our parents. Nowadays, I guess just from history, we try to outdo presents to each other – evolution of siblings perhaps.

So his birthday is March 5 and I plan on ringing his front door at some point that day to surprise him. I leave Buenos Aires on January 16, and I’m going to make it to Los Angeles, California by way of anything except an airplane. In case your memory has slipped a little since 5th grade geography class, I will have to go through Argentina, Chile, Peru, Ecuador, Columbia, Panama, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Honduras, Guatemala and Mexico and, depending on the route, maybe a few others. However, this is only if I want to go completely by land, aka buses, trains and hitchhiking. My real hope, is to get up to Ecuador and hop a yacht, but most likely a freighter up to the western coast of Mexico.

So here begins the beginning of an unpredictable story, because of a yet-to-be-determined route, of my adventures through the Americas so I can ring the doorbell of my brother’s apartment in West Hollywood on his birthday while he thinks I’m still drinking maté in South America.

What is home? Where do I find it? And how do I get there?

I’ve been wondering over the last few years what the word home means. Is it the actual physical place where our belongings live, is it our family or our friends, or could it be just ourself – our own human body and soul all gift wrapped with lips, feet and hair?

I have decided to go on a hunt, an exploration into the depths of the abyss (as some might say before they actually leave on their exploration). As for me, I’m just going home. This concept seems simple, except when you’re lost and you actually don’t exactly know where home might be. So, I might fall into the depths of the abyss on the way even though I’m not actually even sure what and or where the abyss is and might not even know if I was standing in it’s Times Square.

To cut to the chase, this is going to be a story, my story in particular, of going home. Right now I’m stationed at 34º 35′ 24″ S, 58º 26′ 00″ W. In laymen’s terms, including my own because that just took 20 minutes to figure out, I’m located in Palermo Soho of Buenos Aires, Argentina, and I’m heading north on January 16, 2010.

I grew up in Dallas, Texas in a nice neighborhood with a mom, a dad, a brother, a dog and the occasional hamster or fish that graced our presence for a few months or on rare occasion a year or so. I called this place home until I was 14 because there really wasn’t any other option. I was with my family, I loved them and still do very much, I had great friends in Dallas up until I was 12, and overall, I was oblivious to pretty much everything around me and lived in my own little world of discovery. I liked it, I was happy, but then you come across another question – what is happy?

I compare it to having the best meal ever imaginable… until you have a better one. Happiness is a never ending exponential growth line on a graph. Why do you think so many people have succumbed to euphoric drugs striving for the ultimate high or the ultimate ecstasy. They’re just trying to get themselves a little bit further on that line. Maybe home is when one hits a pothole on that line and decides it’s a good place to set up camp.

So I guess I’m looking for a pothole, my pothole. The balance between friends, family, location and passion. I’m beginning to hope that this pothole acts more like a Mary Poppins with her bottomless bag than a three-hour delay when you’re already late.

I’m starting my adventure home in two months. Two months to get rid of a lot of junk that was for some reason extremely necessary to pack when I arrived in Buenos Aires in late August. Two months to devise a game plan. And, two months to go absolutely crazy running across a foreign land, meeting people, learning a new language and most likely overall just being a complete hot mess.

I forgot to mention how I’m finding home. I’ve decided that most of my money is going into travel but I want to give my brother and really special birthday present just because we always try to one up each other. So his birthday is March 5, I leave Buenos Aires on January 16, and I’m going to make it to Los Angeles, California by way of anything except an airplane. In case your memory has slipped a little since 5th grade geography class, I will have to go through Argentina, Chile, Peru, Ecuador, Columbia, Panama, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Honduras, Guatemala and Mexico and, depending on the route, maybe a few others. However, this is only if I want to go completely by land, aka buses, trains and hitchhiking. My real hope, is to get up to Ecuador and hop a yacht, but most likely a freighter up to the western coast of Mexico.

So here begins the beginning of an unpredictable story, because of a yet-to-be-determined route, of my adventures through the Americas so I can ring the doorbell of my brother’s apartment in West Hollywood on his birthday while he thinks I’m still drinking maté in South America.

Test theme Twitter like, aka Prologue

J’aime beaucoup ce thème wordpress “Prologue”, une sorte de Twitter “en mieux” (j’espère, car en écrivant cet article, je fais aussi le test)

Alors si je me trompe pas je peux mettre une image sur mes articles, qui ressemblent à des twitts.

Test image :

Je pense qu’une vidéo marcherait aussi :

et voilà, rien de magique n’est ce pas ? Et sans blague image et vidéo, les deux indispensables… à croire que sans ça il n’ya pas de blog

As the jumbo jet taxied down the runway gathering speed for the takeoff, Caryn Chadwick shut her eyes, leaned her head against the back of her seat and reached her decision. Tomorrow she would make arrangements to postpone her baby’s life. A bitter laugh rose within her. Even now, her mind refused to acknowledge the other word that she could not voice, even to herself. No, she was just postponing her baby’s life… until…

Until when? the voice deep within her questioned softly, persistently, as it had for weeks.Until you’re back together? Until you can take care of a baby yourself? Until when?

Shrugging off the voice, Caryn turned to stare blindly at the clouds passing beside the window, the outside world as much a blur as her mind. A vision of her husband came to her unbidden, his penetrating blue eyes accusing her silently. If he ever found out…

But he won’t. How could he? She hadn’t seen him in weeks, probably wouldn’t see him for many more weeks. He was out of her life. This was her decision to make.

But it’s his child, the small voice protested. He has a right to know.

No! He gave up that right when he… Caryn bit back the tears that quickly blurred her vision, the small voice reminding her that she had pushed him aside first, she had uttered the words that he refused to forget, refused to forgive. Even now she could hear his voice, condemning her, “It’s not that easy, Cary.… How do you think I feel? The one person in the world whose support I need and rely on has written me off… You know, if you were the only person who believed in me … I’d keep trying.… I would keep going as long as I knew you were behind me, because I’d know that together we’d make it…”

A bitter laugh welled in her throat. But, he hadn’t needed her after all, had he? He’d managed just fine in the months since he’d told her to stay away. And so had she. She’d gotten a job that even her father would be proud of, and she’d proven to herself that, for the first time in her life, she could take care of herself. She’d make it without him—if she postponed her baby’s life.

Fishing in her briefcase, Caryn found her sunglasses and slipped them on, her amber eyes suddenly swimming with tears. How could three years slip away so quickly? Could it only be a year since they’d gotten married, since they’d promised to love and cherish each other until death?

Unbidden, the image that had haunted her for months flashed through her mind. The stick crashing against his head… the blood… her husband lying motionless on the ice. The days and nights passing in near oblivion as he wavered between life and death… the weeks and months of slow, painful recovery… his insistence that he attempt to return to the career that had nearly ended his life. Instead of bringing them closer together, the accident had driven a wedge between them, destroying their marriage.

Pushing the thoughts aside, Caryn determined to think only of the future, of the new life that she was creating for herself—without him. But she would make it and in time be happy.

She shook her head, refusing the flight attendant’s offer of a drink, returning her attention to the cloudy sky outside the airplane, her mind persistently returning to him, reminding her of the life they’d shared, of a love she thought could conquer all, of times so happy that they should have realized that it could never last.

Jarren Wilson a tout pour plaire ; jeune et beau, riche et talentueux, affable et sans histoire, il mène une vie tranquille d’étudiant à l’Université de l’État du Michigan. Une vie banale avec son lot quotidien de tracas, de péripéties et de surprises, bonnes ou mauvaises… une vie qui aurait pu continuer son cours si un soir, en rentrant d’une soirée avec des amis, il n’avait eu un étrange accident de voiture.

Un loup au milieu de la route qui bondit vers son capot, et Jarren, dans un réflexe primaire, détourne le véhicule de son tracé et tombe dans un petit ravin. À son réveil, il se trouve à l’hôpital en compagnie de sa petite-amie et de celui qui l’a sauvé… un étrange garçon d’une grande timidité chaperonné par un homme tout aussi curieux. L’homme et le garçon quittent la chambre, mais l’esprit de Jarren ne peut les oublier. Alors qu’il tente de retrouver son sauveur, d’étranges faits divers autour des loups font les gros titres des journaux… et l’attitude de ce jeune garçon devient vite soupçonneuse.

Une histoire où la vie sauvage se soulève contre l’oppression humaine et ses dérives. Un appel à la lutte pour ses convictions sous le halo argenté d’une lune spectatrice…

8 years ago…

“Ma, aalis na po ako!!” Sigaw ko hang pababa ako ng hagdan. Nagmamadali ako nun dahil mahuhli na ako sa klase. Kawawa rin si Ivan na may kalahating oras na din yatang naghihintay. Sabay kasi kaming pumasok, mula pa nong elementarya kami. Ilang blokelang ang layo ng bahay nila sa amin kaya naman mabuti nang pumasok kami ng sabay. At kung tatanungin nyo kung may relasyon kami para maging ganun, Oo na ang sagot ko sen’yo. Dalawang buwan pa lang naman kami, at alam na din ‘to ng mga magulang ko. Wala na sigurong masama. 3^rd year naman na kami at alam naman namin kung hanggang saan lang ang limitasyon namin. Eh ni hindi nga kami naghahawak ng kamay niyan eeh. Ayaw namin, panget pa rin kasing tingnan. Importante na yung alam naming mahal namin ang isa’t-isa.

“Sinabi ko naman kasi sa’yong gumising ka dapat ng maaga nang hindi ka nahuhuli kagaya ngayon. Hay ang napakaresponsable kong anak talaga, oo!” Sigaw niya habang hinahanda ang babaunin kong tinapay sa klase. “Oh eto, hala! Magsi-alis na kayo at sigurado akong patakbo n’yo na naming babagtasin ang corridor ng building ninyo.” Sabi niya at iniabot ang sandwich sa’kin. Meron din syempre si Ivan, anak na ang turing sa kanya ni mama eeh.

Humalik na ko sa kanya at inaya ko nang umalis si Ivan. Ilang minuto lang eh narating na din namin ang highschool na pinapasukan namin. Hay buti naman, kakabell pa lang naman kaya di pa rin naman kami gaanong late.

‘Yan. Iyan ang palaging takbo ng buhay namin hanggang sa magtapos kami ng Highschool. Sa iisang University na din kami pumasok dahil ayaw nga naming maghiwalay noon. Kumuha ko ng Masscomm, sya naman, Engineering. Mahirap man noon ang kolehiyo, masaya naman ako dahil nga kasama ko sya. Planado na namin ang lahat. Magiging journalist ako, tapos sya Engineer. Kasal namin? 3 taon matapos kaming makagradweyt. Alam naman kasi naman na nakaipon na kami ng mga panahon na iyon.

Halos sabay kaming gumradweyt. Nauna lang siguro ako ng isang sem sa kanya. Matapos ang ilang taon, magkasama pa rin kami. At sa tingin ko, sya na nga ang makakasama ko sa habangbuhay.

Dalawang taon matapos kaming makapagtapos, nakapagtrabaho ako bilang isang researcher ng isang Broacasting company at sya naman, Engineer na sa isang Private company. Ayan! Naaayon lahat sa plano namin… Isang araw pa nga…

“Sa’n mo ba ko dadalhin?” Tanong ko sa kanya isang gabing sinundo nya ko sa trabaho ko. Lagi naman nyang ginagawa yun, ang kaiba lang, iba kasi ang direksyon na dinadaanan namin kaya medyo naconfuse ako kung saan ba kami pupunta.

“Basta. Just sit back and relax.” Sagot nya lang habang diretso ang tingin sa pagda-drive at ni hindi man lang tumitingin sa akin. Kumunot ang noo ko at sinilip ko pa ang nakangiti niyang mukha ng kaunti.

“Hindi nga… Saan ba? Dinner? What?” Pangungulit ko sa kanya. ‘Di nga kasi ako sanay ng ganito sa kanya. He knows I hate surprises, kasi hindi ako nakakapaghanda, kaya alam kong he wouldn’t want to surprise me kasi makakatanggap lang sya ng negative response mula sa’kin.

“Basta nga, diba?”

“You know I don’t want to be surprised, saan ba kasi?”

“Sorry. Pero hindi magiging maganda kung hindi ito magiging surprise sa’yo. Now please don’t hate me for doing this, honey. I know you’ll understand soon.” Sabi niya lang at nagpatuloy na din sa pag da-drive.

Tahimik na lugar yun. Parang gubat na nga ang tingin ko eeh. Paikot-ikot ang tingin ko sa buong place pero wala akong makitang special dun, siguro dahil madilim kaya di ako makakita ng maayos. May night blindness kasi ako. Ilang minuto matapos naming manatiling nakatayo ay biglang nagbukasan ang mga ilaw. Nasa gitna ako mismo at natatamaan ng spotlight. There in front of me, may malaking banner, “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”, All capital letters pa. I started to cry, it’s unexpected na may plano na pala siyang pakasalan ako. Tumulo na ang mga luha ko, naramdaman ko yun. He kneeled down and showed me a small box, at syempre, alam ko na kung anong nasa loob nun.

“Will you marry me, Hanna Jane Arenas?” Sabi niya. Hindi na ko nagdalawang isip pa. Highschool pa lang ako siya na yung nakikita kong kasama ko sa future ko.

“Y-yes…” Nangangatog na sagot ko, mula doon ay naglabasan ang buong pamilya ko, kasama ang pamilya nya at mga close friends namin. Hindi lang pala kami ang tao doon, marami pa. Naka video ang event, vinideohan ni Ainy, isa sa mga friends namin. That was the most memorable moment of my life. Someone proposed to marry me, kung iisipin, yun ang pinaka cherished moment ng isang babae. Pero di ko alam na hanggang dun na lang pala ang happy moment na tinutukoy ko.

Isang buwan matapos niyang magpropose, busyng-busy na kami sa paghahanda para sa kasal. Simbahan, Invitations, Abay, Ninang at Ninong, Date ng kasal, lahat yan iniintindi namin. Minsan pa nga isang gabi, sinabi ni Ivan na di niya daw ako masasamahan sa isang appointment namin sa caterer ng reception. Medyo sumama nun ang loob ko, pinasa ko yung isang napakagandang research project na binigay sakin ng boss ko para lang dun, tapos sya di makakaattend dahil sa isang importanteng bagay daw na ni hindi ko nga alam kung ano? Hay naku, pinalampas ko na lang iyon dahil ayoko namang hindi matuloy ang kasal namin ng dahil lang diyaan sa sama ng loob ko. Nagpasama na lang ako kay Jasmine, bestfriend ko.

“Edi sana tinanong mo kung ano ba yung importanteng bagay na yun nang hindi nag-iinit yang ulo mo ngayon.” Sabi niya habang nag da-drive ako.

“Tatanungin ko pa ba? Kukulitin ko pa? Mauusisa ko pa ba? Eh pagkasabi niyang di siya makakapunta eh bigla akong binabaan ng telepono. Nang tawagan ko ulit pinatay na nya yung phone niya. Hindi nama pwedeng icancel yung appointment sa caterer dahil busy din naman ang mga iyon.” Sagot ko na lang.

“Then stop complaining, Hanna. Kung gusto mo, sige, wag na ituloy yang kasal na yan.” Huminto siya saglit tapos lumingon ulit sa akin. “What do you think? May iba kaya siyang stuff na inaasikaso? Like something na hindi ikatutuloy ng kasal niyo kaya hindi niya masabi sa’yo.” Syempre, sino bang matutuwa dun? Ang lakas din ng loob ng bestfriend kong sabihin yun ano.

“Tumigil ka nga, Jasmine. Ano namang gagawin niya na hindi ikatutuloy ng kasal namin? I swear! This wedding will be the most anticipated wedding of the year! Ayokong masira ang dream wedding ko ng dahil lang diyan sa mga nakakatakot na predictions mo noh!” Sabi ko, medyo pasigaw, halata ang pagkairita, pero in a sense na hindi naman gaanong galit. Tinaas niya ang dalawang kamay niya.

“Then fine! I’m just being honest!!!” Sabi niya pagkatapos ay tumahimik na. Ang hindi ko alam, somehow, ay tama pala ang predictions niya.

Ilang beses na kong iniindian ni Ivan, lagi siyang may meeting, laging may appointment kay ganito, kay sir ganyan, kay mister ganun, kay attorney, kay engineer. Lahat na ng mga proffessionals nabanggit na yata niya. Nairita na ko. Ano ba? Gusto niya pa bang matuloy tong kasal na toh? Bakit ako na lang lagi ang kumikilos? Madalas na si Jasmine ang kasama ko, ano ba? Kami ba ni Jasmine ang magpapakasal? Kaya ayun, pinuntahan ko siya sa opisina niya mismo.

“Ms. Hanna! Good Morning po!” Biglang bati ng secretary niya na kahit ako eh nagulat. Parang hindi niya inasahan ang pagdating ko, oh hindi niya inexpect na dadating ako? Tumayo siya at lumabas sa cubicle niya, sinalubong ako at ngumiti ng pilit sa akin. Alam kong pilit ang ngiti niya, may ngiti bang labas ang buong gilagid at mukhang pati esophagus eh makikita mo na din.

“Si Ivan?” Tanong ko sa kanya na may plastik na ngiti din. Pero ui ha, hindi yun kasing O.A ng ngiti niya. Luminga linga ang secretaryng ito, sa may pinto ng opisina ni Ivan, sa akin, pabalik sa pintuan, pabalik ulit sa akin. “Ano? Si Ivan?” Ulit na tanong ko na nawala na ang ngiti sa mga pisngi ko.

“Aah.. Ahh.. Si Sir.. Aah! Ms Hanna! Naroon po sa loob at kausap ang presidente! Meron yata silang dinidiscuss na mahalagang bagay.” Yata? Hindi siya sure sa pinag-uusapan ng mga ito? As a secretary, hindi ba dapat alam niya ang mga nagiging appointment nito at kung tungkol saan??

“Aah.. Babalik na lang ako later.” Sabi ko, tumalikod na ko para maglakad pabalik ng makita ko ang presidente ng kompanyang pinagtatrabahuhan ni Ivan. Bumati pa nga siya sakin. Well, kilala na niya ko, minsan na siyang naging topic ng research team ko. Si Mr. Jang Hwang Bo, isang koreanong dito nahanap sa Pinas ang swerte sa buhay.

“Ms. Arenas, nice seeing you here at my office.” Sabi niya lang sakin, alam naman kasi niya kung sino ang pinuntahan ko doon.

“Me, too, sir.” Sagot ko lang, dumiretso siya sa secretary na parang hihimatayin sa kinatatayuan niya.

“Ms. Reyes, please inform Engr. Jimenez that he needs to go and report to my office later this afternoon.” Sabi niya. Atubiling tumango ang secretary at takot na tumingin sa akin. Nagpaalam naman ang presidente sa akin at bumaba na ito. Pagkaalis niya ay sabay na tumaas ang kilay kong kanina pang nangangating gumalaw at tumaray sa sinungaling na sekretaryang ito. Lumapit ulit ako sa kanya at ipinakita ang pagiging mataray ko.

“So you have more than one president here?” Tanong ko sa kanya. Sa kahihiyan, ay napayuko na lang siya. And she didn’t expect, na ang pagpasok sa opisinang iyon ang next move ko.

“Maam! Ma’am bawal po!” Saway niya pero huli na at nahawakan ko na ang door knob.

Blangko. Wala akong ibang naisip ng makita ko ang isang babaeng nakaupo sa kandungan ng fiance ko at nakikipaghalikan sa kanya. Ewan ko ba, parang hindi nila narinig ang pagsigaw ng sekretarya at ang pagbukas ng pinto. Malayang tumambad sa akin ang moment nilang dalawa. Nakita ko ang isang intimate scene sa pagitan ng boyfriend ko, at ng kaibigan ko. Si Ainy, huli na ng marealize kong siya pala yun. Pabalibag kong isinara ang pinto, pero nasa loob pa rin ako. Dun sila natauhan, parang naiinis na bumaling pa nga sila sa pinto pero parang mga napawian ng ulirat ng makitang ako pala ang nagbalibag niyon.

“H-Hanna!” Sabay nilang sigaw at biglang napatayo si Ivan, dahilan para malaglag sa sahig ang halos hubad nang si Ainy. I composed myself. Kung magsisisigaw ako at iiyak sa harap nila, sarili ko lang ang ipapahiya ko.

“So this is what you call appointment and important meeting? I see, seems really important nga.” Masakit na sa loob pero nagawa ko pang umupo sa upuang katabi ng table niya. “Nice to know that my fiance is having an intimate and really sweet scene with our friend.” Sabi ko na may bitter smile pa.

“S-sorry… “ Nasabi ni Ivan. “I realize mas mahal ko pala si Ainy. I tried to stop the future plans for our wedding. Matagal ko na sanang sasabihin sa’yo na wag na natin to ituloy. Pero ayaw nila mama, gusto nila ikaw lang at wala nang iba pa. Sorry, hindi ko narealize from the start na si Ainy pala talaga ang totoong mahal ko at hindi ikaw.” Ouch. Sana’y hindi na lang niya dinugtong ang huling pangungusap na iyon. Naramdaman ko ang pamamasa ng mga mata ko, babala na hindi  na ko dapat magtagal pa roon. Tumayo na ko, at patuyang ngumiti sa kanila.

“Ahh… I see. Okay.” Sabay hinga ng malalim at taas noo pa ring lumabas ng opisina. Bumaling ulit ako sa sekretaryang nakatayo pa rin sa tapat ng pinto, siya ang nakakita ng pag tulo ng luha ko. Pero pinahid ko agad iyon at lumayo na.

Sa kotse ay patuloy sa pag-agos ang luha ko. Hindi ko na makita ang daan. Sobra ang luhang ito, ayaw tumigil sa pagtulo. Nang hindi ko na talaga makita ang dinadaanan ko ay huminto ako sa gilid ng highway. Feeling ko delikado yun pero wala akong choice, mas maiiwasan ako ng mga kotse, kung patuloy ako sa pag da drive, ako ang hindi makakaiwas sa mga kotse. Pinagpapalo ko dun ang manibela ng kotse at pumadausdos roon. “Mga hayop! Mga hayop!” Sigaw ko sa loob ng kotse. Pinagpapalo ko pa ng ilang beses ang manibela bago tuluyan nang nag-iiyak na lang. Wala kong pakialam kung saang kalye man ako naroroon, ngayon ko ‘to kailangang ilabas kaya sige na, hayaan na muna ang mga luha sa kanilang pagtulo.

“Aah.. Ms, are you okay?” Narinig ko ang mahinang katok sa bintana ng kotse at nakita kong may lalaking sumisilip sa labas. Wala sa loob kong binuksan ang bintana at tumingin ako sa kanya habang patuloy pa rin sa pag-agos ang luha ko. Nakita kong nagulat siya sa hitsura ko, pero mas nakita ko ang pag-aalala sa mukha niya. “What happened? Are you okay?” Sabi niya at bahagyang ipinasok ang ulo sa loob ng kotse, napaatras ako at medyo natakot sa ikinikilos niya. Bigla kong isinara ang bintana at paharurot na pinaandar ang kotse. Hindi ko alam pero parang nagsimula na akong matakot sa mga lalaki.

Hindi na natuloy ang kasal, syempre, tanga pa ko kung ipagpapatuloy namin iyon. Lahat sila gulat na gulat sa naging desisyon ko. Ilang araw at ilang gabi akong nakakulong sa kwarto ko. Umiiyak, nagsisisi sa lahat, nag-iisip, lahat. Ilang beses akong kinatok ng mama ko, kesyo nasa baba daw ang mga kaibigan ko, nasa baba si Jasmine, nasa baba ang mga magulang ni Ivan, nasa baba si Ivan, wala akong binaba ni isa man sa kanila. Magmula nung makita ko si Ivan sa piling ng iba, nawalan na ko ng ganang maniwala sa Love, maniwala sa feelings, maniwala sa puso, at magtiwala sa mga kauri niya. Sa tingin ko, yung ang pagtatapos ng sinasabi nilang Love life ko…

Note: Here follows the prologue to the novel I’ve been trying to write.  Ideas, input, question, comments, anything welcome (if its constructive and will help this story in the long run).

—

As he lets the last notes build up to a crescendo the mirror cracks, splitting into two almost even pieces. The one side a clear, perfect unblemished version of its former bigger self, the other distorted, riddled with fine veins of cracked glass running criss cross over the surface. Slowly the musician stood up to retrieve the two pieces, taking care not to let it crack or break any further. With both mirrors balanced in his hands he walked over to the dais on the opposite side of the chamber. Carefully he placed the two pieces on a stand, near a throne carved from black onyx that stood in the center of the platform. Then he knelt submissively in front of the throne. The man seated on the throne, looked at the mirrors than back to the musician. His eyes piercing, as if weighing, judging the performance of the musician. Slowly the musician lifted his eyes, catching his masters dark ones staring back at him, unblinking. His master holds his gaze for another minute before breaking the silence.

“The mirror has two sides, look and you will see yourself in both.
On the one side, a clear reflection, showing honesty and purity, untouched.
The other side reflecting a multitude of possibilities.
Images repeating, multiplying, truth running into lies,
obliterated, hiding between the cracks, its pulsing veins, always shifting.
But it matters not which side you choose, born from the same source
both will leave you with a version of a future, looming,
irrespective to the uncertainty it may contain.”

The deep voice boomed through the chamber, a regal tinge to it. The warning resounded in the musicians ears, but he had already caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror and he had seen the path he had to choose.
“What is seen can be changed and what has changed can be seen,” the musician replied, his voice had a musical quality to it.
“What you see will also haunt you,” his master replied.
“I have seen the path I need to choose, I am willing to walk it.”
With this the musician raised from the ground, bowing his head he said, “I am forever in your debt, Master. Please allow me to go on this mission for you.”

The man bend forward, he stretches out his hand to lift the musicians head till their eyes are level.  Two almost identical pair of eyes stare at each other.  The man nods,  lifting the mirrors from their stand he hold it up in front of him, joining the two mirrors at their jagged edges.  The mirror turns redhot in his hands, the surface starts shimmering as ripples run over it, covering, filling up the cracks.  The musician stretches out his hand until it touches the mirror and it starts dissolving, disappearing until there is nothing left.

Slowly the man walks the opposite side of the room, still carrying the mirror.  With a satisfied grin he hung the mirror back on the wall and gave a sinister chuckle.  “Fool,” he whispered under his breath as he left the room, still smiling.

…She looked over his shoulder
For athletes at their games,
Men and women in a dance
Moving their sweet limbs
Quick, quick, to music,
But there on the shining shield
His hands had set no dancing-floor
But a weed-choked field.

A ragged urchin, aimless and alone,
Loitered about that vacancy; a bird
Flew up to safety from his well-aimed stone:
That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
Were axioms to him, who’d never heard
Of any world where promises were kept,
Or one could weep because another wept.

Il y a déjà un bon bout de temps que je suis cette productrice allemande qui ne cesse de me surprendre par ses productions à la fois deep et hypnotisantes.  Pour nous mettre en haleine de son premier album Die Faser qui sortira à la fin novembre, une série de EP verront le jour.  Le premier de ceux-ci inclus 2 remix de Donato Dozzy tandis que le second incluera un remix de Sleeparchive.  Deux autres sont prévu suite au lancement de l’album incluant Samuli Kemppi, Milton Bradley et Pendle Coven.  Le tout sur le label Prologue, dernièrement nommé label du mois par Resident Advisor!  Assurément du bon son à se mettre sous la dent!

Cio D’Or – Goldbrokat (MP3)

Cio D’Or – Goldbrokat (Donato Dozzy ambient remix version 2) (MP3)

Cio D’Or’s Discogs
Cio D’Or’s Last.fm
Cio D’Or’s Myspace

May mga panaginip na pinapangarap nating magkatotoo ngunit may mga bagay na totoo ang hinangad natin na sana’y panaginip na lamang. Siguro nga mahirap talagang mabuhay sa totoong buhay, lalo’t higit kung ikaw ang palaging tapunan ng mga sakit at pighati. Bakit ko nga ba nasasabi ‘to? Siguro dahil pagod na ‘ko. Pagod na kong maramdaman ang mga sakit na nararamdaman ko pero hindi naman dapat. Naiisip ko minsan… “I don’t deserve this.” Totoo naman eeh. Nagmamahal lang naman ako, wala naman akong ginagawang ikasasama ng iba, pero nasasaktan ako. At ang mas masakit, ito’y mga sugat na hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal na panahon pa ang lilipas bago maghilom. Sugat na nagiging daan para isipin kong ang mundo at buhay ay puno ng pagkapoot at makasariling gawain. Mundong hindi para sa mga mabubuti ngunit para sa mga masasama lamang.

Hanna. ‘Yan ang pangalan ko. Isa akong researcher sa isang broadcasting agency. Matagal ko na ‘tong trabaho, mga tatlong taon na din siguro. Masaya naman ako dito, mang-ungkat ng buhay ng iba, manaliksik ng mga bagay at personalidad na wala naming kinalaman sakin, at magsulat ng mga impormasyon tungkol sa mga taong hindi ko nga personal na kakilala. Trabaho lang ‘yan, at masasabi kong buhay ko na din. Importante kasi sakin ang mga bagay na pwede kong maisulat, ‘wag lang naman yung mga chismis na nagmula lang d’yan sa may kanto aah. Halungkatin ko man ang buhay ng iba, gusto ko yung mga buhay ng mga taong malaki ang kinalaman sa bansa ko, o kahit sa mundo pa. Ano naming kinalaman ng pagiging researcher ko sa galit ko sa mundo? Hay naku mukhang wala naman.

Ilang taon na din pala ang nakakalipas, ngayon ko lang naalala. Matagal na rin pala nung huli kaming nagkita, yung pagkikita namin na nagtulak sa’king magbago ang tingin sa mundong ginagalawan ko at sa tunay na buhay. Si Ivan, kababata ko, una’t huling kasintahan, at una’t huling nanakit sa’kin. Hindi ko na sya nakikita ngayon, pero siguro hindi na ko apektado pag nagkita man kami. Naituro nya sakin ang totoong buhay, buhay na gaya nga ng sabi ko, para lang sa masasama at makasarili. At dahil doon, nagpapasalamat na din ako. At least ngayon, hindi na ko nagtatanga-tangahan at nag-papauto sa kung kani-kanino man dyan.

Rien ne m’étonne parce que je suis Berg.
Salomon Berg, je suis.
Rarement, je propose de couper les bébés en deux.
Le plus souvent, je les fais rôtir à petit feu.

Brûle, cuit, à brûle pour point pour point, cuit ses cuisses dodues et sa tête qui dodeline.
Des orteils croquants comme des ailes de poulet, qu’on gruge, qu’on gruge.
Des bébés, je mange, et plus tendre leur chair est, mieux c’est.

La fin, personne ne la connaît, même si souvent elle se trouve au bout de mes intestins.

Salomon Berg, je suis, et je ne suis pas un ogre.

Voili voilou, première étude d’une série sur l’évangile de Jean…  Cette première est un peu “intense” et forte en caféine A la semaine prochaine pour la suite du chapitre 1. Dans les prochaines études, on étudiera un chapitre par post…

Un grand merci à Gary DeLashmutt pour la qualité et la profondeur de ses études de Jean qui m’ont beaucoup apprises et que je traduis pour vous.

ps: j’ai “uploadé” dans myshared des documents qui pourraient resservir (voir “l’index des documents téléchargeables”). J’essayerai d’en ajouter d’autres au fur et à mesure.

coffeebean

Introduction

Aujourd’hui, nous commençons notre étude sur  l’évangile de Jean. Avant d’aller plus loin, il est nécessaire que nous connaissions un peu l’arrière plan de ce livre.

Auteur et date:

Ce livre a été écrit par Jean, le fils de Zébédée, un des disciples de Jésus, probablement entre 80 et 100 ap. J.-C. Bien qu’il ne se nomme pas lui-même, des indices internes (par élimination des autres disciples proches de Jésu) et externes (Polycarpe; Irénée, Papias) confirment l’identité de l’auteur.

Destinataires d’origines:

Jean écrit à des non juifs. Ceci est clair parce qu’il explique les coutumes ou les termes juifs. Après la chute de Jérusalem en 70 ap. J.-C,  Jean  alla a Ephèse et travailla principalement parmi les “Gentils” (non Juifs). Les Gentils de l’époque de Jean étaient  intéressés par les choses spirituelles mais étaient “relativistes” (ça ne vous semble pas familier?)

But:

Lire Jean 20:31. Il s’agit d’un récit évangélique de la vie de Jésus. Jean a sélectionné son matériel pour donner des preuves que Jésus est l’unique Messie et le fils de Dieu; afin que l’on croit en lui et ait une vie spirituelle par lui. C’est pour cela qu’il est recommandé aux gens “en recherche” de lire Jean, plutôt que de commencer par la Genèse ou Matthieu etc.

Simplicité et profondeur:

L’évangile de Jean est le livre du nouveau testament qui a le vocabulaire grec le plus simple et réduit. Il utilise environ 400 mots grecs. (C’est pourquoi ceux qui étudient le Grec, commencent généralement par étudier Jean). Néanmoins, malgré cette simplicité, ce livre cache une grande profondeur. On dit souvent que ce livre est “assez  peu profond pour que les bébés y barbotent, mais assez profond pour que des éléphants s’y noient.”

Relation aux autres évangiles:

Écrit plus tardivement que les autres évangiles, Jean a choisi volontairement un matériel que ceux-ci n’incluaient pas (pour combler des “trous” et poursuivre son but ‘évangélique‘). Alors que les  évangiles synoptiques commencent par un récit historique de la vie de Jésus et élaborent peu à peu une conclusion sur celui-ci, Jean commence son évangile par un résumé de ses conclusions sur Jésus. Et c’est ensuite qu’il donne  des exemples historiques issus de la vie de Jésus pour appuyer ses conclusions. Ce résumé qui ouvre l’évangile de Jean est appelé “le prologue”.

Le Logos est la Réalité Ultime (verset 1-3)

Lire les versets 1-3. Jean nous présente quelque chose qu’il appelle “‘la Parole‘. En grec, il s’agit du terme ‘logos‘. Jean écrit à des Grecs, il utilise donc leur propre terme philosophique comme point de départ pour son message.

En étudiant l’ordre dans l’univers et la capacité humaine à raisonner, les Grec  avaient déduit qu’il devait y avoir une sorte de ‘raison‘ universelle (appelée “logos”) qui sous tend la réalité et qui donne un sens à l’univers. Ils appelaient parfois le logos ‘la rationalité cosmique” (ou réalité ultime).

Le problème était qu’ils n’étaient pas plus avancés. “Ce logos était-il personnel ou impersonnel? Eternel ou temporel? Quelle est sa relation avec le monde matériel? Est-il intéressé ou pas par les humains?… Les avis divergeaient quand à la nature de ce logos.

Jean répond  aux questions des Grecs par une série d’affirmations explosives, en utilisant leur  terme pour désigner la ‘réalité ultime”.

Le logos est éternel (v. 1a). “Au commencement était le  logos.” Le logos est La cause qui n’a pas de cause, la réalité  au delà de laquelle il est impossible d’aller.

Le logos est le créateur de l’univers (v. 3). L’univers n’est pas éternel (position des NATURALISTES) ni “divin‘ (ANIMISME & PANTHÉISME). Il “vint à existence‘par la parole du logos (Genèse 1 > CONFIRMATION DU BIG-BANG).

Le logos est une personne. Le logos est appelé “il” (v.2) ou “lui” (v.3).

Le logos est divin, ou Dieu (v. 1c). Le texte grec insiste sur ce point.

Le logos est personnellement distinct de Dieu (v. 1b,2). Il est à la fois Dieu, et également ‘face à face avec Dieu“. C’est l’un des nombreux passages ( de l’ancien et du nouveau testament) qui révèlent que Dieu, bien qu’il ait une essence unique, existe en plus d’une personne. Les chrétiens appellent cela la “trinité.

Dans ce texte nous rencontrons deux de ces trois personnes: Dieu, le Père  et aussi le “Fils” (appelé le “logos”). Ceci a l’air très abstrait, mais cela résout le problème suivant: Comment Dieu peut-il être à la fois personnel et totalement autonome? Comment Dieu peut-il être personnel sans avoir besoin de créer d’autres personnes avec qui entrer en relation? Mais si Dieu avait eu besoin de créer d’autres personnes Dieu n’est donc pas vraiment indépendant de sa création?

La réponse biblique à cette question est la trinité: Dieu a toujours existé en tant que “communauté de personnes qui se sont toujours aimées. Un trillion d’année avant que quoi que ce soit ou quiconque n’existe, Dieu était déjà là depuis toujours. Mais il  n’a jamais été seul parce qu’il était en relation avec les autres personnes de la trinité (lire Jean 17:24).

Le logos, est bien sûr, Jésus (v. 14a). La personne historique qu’était Jésus de Nazareth, née à Jérusalem autours de l’an 4 av. J.C et morte autours de 33 ap. J.-C, est en fait Dieu: le Dieu infini,  éternel,  personnel, créateur de tout l’univers! Il avait lui-même créé les matériaux desquels son berceau/ auge a été faite. Il a créé les anges qui ont annoncé sa naissance, les moutons dont les bergers s’occupaient, et l’étoile qui avait guidé les mages.

Jésus est le sauveur de l’humanité (v. 4,5,14-18)

Mais Jean ne s’arrête pas là. Jésus n’est pas seulement la réponse à une question philosophique abstraite concernant “la réalité ultime”. Il est également le sauveur de l’humanité (lire v4 et 5)

Lorsque Jean déclare, “en lui est la vie” il utilise un terme grec précis qui désigne un type de vie particulier.  Il n’utilise pas le terme bios (vie physique) ou psuche (la conscience humaine). Il utilise zoe, qui veut dire la vie spirituelle qui vient de Dieu.  C’est le même mot que Jésus utilise en Jean10:10b (lire). Il s’agit d’une certaine qualité de vie: une union personnelle et une relation avec Dieu (lire Jean 17:3).

v.4 ” En elle était la vie, et la vie était la lumière des hommes.” Cette vie spirituelle est ce qui donne un sens  et une direction à la vie humaine. Contrairement aux animaux, nous avons été créés pour connaître Dieu personnellement, pour être en relation avec lui et expérimenter sa direction pour notre vie.

v.5″ La lumière luit dans les ténèbres.” Le ‘hic‘ c’est que nous ne possédons pas cette lumière/vie. Nous avons la vie physique et la lumière, nous avons une grande intelligence et des ressources mais nous vivons dans les ténèbres et sommes morts spirituellement. Si l’histoire humaine (et le J.T de 20h)  nous apprend quelque chose, c’est bien que les hommes sont perdus. Ils passent à côté du but de leur existence, ils titubent dans le noir en se blessant eux-mêmes et les autres par la même occasion. Mais Jésus est venu dans ces ténèbres pour permettre que la lumière et la vie de Dieu soient accessibles…

Qu’est-ce que cela donnerait d’avoir cette lumière/vie? Jean en parle aux versets 14 et 18

(lire). Dieu est devenu un être humain (v.14) afin que les gens puissent avoir cela. Jean résume son expérience personnelle avec Jésus en disant qu’il était plein de ” grâce et de vérité”.

Jésus était rempli de vérité

Le mot ‘vérité‘ veut dire “réalité”, ce que les choses sont vraiment. En apprenant à connaître Jésus, les disciples apprirent qui Dieu était vraiment, car Dieu le leur révélait directement (v. 18, lire aussi Jean 14,9). C’est ce que nous découvrirons à notre tour, au fur et à mesure de cette étude de l’évangile de Jean. Mais aussi: en même temps qu’ils apprenaient à connaître Jésus, celui-ci révélait inévitablement les gens pour ce qu’ils étaient vraiment. Quand Jésus dénonçait les simulacres et l’hypocrisie des responsables religieux Juifs, ses disciples étaient contents. Mais il avait aussi une façon assez énervante de regarder dans les plus profonds recoins de leur cœur et de révéler leur faiblesse, leur péché et leur folie…

Mais il était aussi rempli de grâce.

La “grâce” dans le sens du texte, veut dire une faveur ou un don qu’on ne mérite pas et qui vient de Dieu. C’est-à-dire que Dieu est venu en Christ pour régler lui-même le problème de notre péché afin que nous puissions avoir le don gratuit de son amour, sa compassion et le pouvoir de transformer notre vie. Le même Jésus qui connaissait et révélait leur immoralité était également une source inépuisable de grâce. (v.16). Qu’ils se plantaient royalement, qu’ils réalisaient à quel point ils étaient pécheurs ou bêtes, Jésus mettait toujours autant de grâce à leur disposition. Ce n’est pas étonnant qu’ils ne furent plus jamais les mêmes.

Comme cela devait sembler bien différent de la religion de l’Ancien Testament dans laquelle les disciples avaient grandis (v.17) ! La ‘loi”, aussi grande soit-elle, n’était qu’un faible reflet de Jésus. Prenons la LUNE en exemple, elle doit sa lumière au SOLEIL, une fois que le soleil se lève, la lune s’efface.

La loi de Dieu (Torah) avait donné aux juifs un aperçu de son caractère moral et une préfiguration de sa compassion. Mais Jésus leur en révéla bien plus plus (tout ce qu’ils étaien capable de comprendre du caractère de Dieu)  et leur permis d’avoir acces à la compassion de Dieu et son pouvoir transformateur.

Où peut-on avoir cette vie ou lumière spirituelle?

Pas auprès de Bouddha, Mohammed ou quelconque autre avatar, seulement par Jésus.

A une culture relativiste comme la nôtre, Jean ne cesse de rappeler que Jésus est la seule source:  ” En elle (seule) était la vie. . .” (vs 4)  ” Cette lumière était la véritable lumière, qui, en venant dans le monde, éclaire tout homme. ” (vs 9). C’est seulement en Jésus que le ” le logos a été fait chair” (v. 14). Seulement Jésus est ” le Fils unique, ” (v. 18).

Jésus le déclare lui-même en Jean 14:6 “Je suis le chemin, la vérité, et la vie. Nul ne vient au Père que par moi“.  Il n’y a pas de place pour la vision pourtant populaire, que Jésus était un maître spirituel parmi d’autres, une voie vers Dieu parmi d’autres. Il est soit Dieu incarné et le seul ‘fournisseur‘ de vie spirituelle: ou alors il est un menteur, un imposteur, un arnaqueur.

Quelle est votre réponse? (v. 9-13)

Jésus est qui il est, peu importe la manière dont nous répondons à ses déclarations. Mais cela ne rend pas votre réponse futile. En fait votre réponse est LA décision la plus importante que vous puissiez prendre – parce que Dieu a décidé d’en faire la base: selon notre décision nous recevrons de lui ou pas.

Lisez les versets 9-11. Quelle ironie tragique! Dieu est venu rendre visite à des créatures qui ont été créées pour le connaître, et la plupart ne l’ont même pas reconnu! Il rendit visite au peuple qu’il avait choisi, et accompli des centaines de prophéties, mais ils ne l’ont pas reçu lui! Pourquoi? Ce n’était pas par manque de preuve (comme nous le verrons)  mais à cause d’un refus de s’humilier et d’admettre leur besoin de sa lumière dans leur vie…

Mais tout le monde n’a pas réagi de cette manière. Voir v. 12,13. Certains réagirent différemment, et Jésus leur donna le droit de faire partie de la famille de Dieu (un autre synonyme pour ‘lumière‘, ‘vie‘, ‘grâce” et “vérité”). Et nous pouvons aussi en faire partie (rappel de Jean 20,31) Mais il n’y a qu’un seul moyen d’avoir cela—en recevant personnellement Jésus. Pour être sûr que l’on comprenne bien ça, Jean nous décrit les choses qui ne sont pas suffisantes:

le “sang”—c’est-à-dire l’arrière plan familial ou ethnique. Le fait d’être juif (le people choisi de Dieu) n’a pas empêché la plupart de rejeter Jésus, et le fait d’être non juifs n’a pas empêché de nombreux “Gentils” de le recevoir. C’est la même chose pour vous: peu importe combien de personnes de votre famille sont chrétiennes—il faut que vous receviez Christ. Et peu importe si personne n’est chrétien dans votre famille: vous pouvez quand même recevoir Christ.

“la volonté de la chair”—ou plutôt vos réussites morales. Être mieux moralement que la plupart des gens ne vous qualifie pas pour être membre de la famille de Dieu—vous devez recevoir Christ. Et être pire que la plupart des gens ne vous disqualifie pas pour devenir enfant de Dieu—vous pouvez quand même le devenir en recevant Christ.

“la volonté de l’homme”—c’est-à-dire les conclusions d’autres personnes sur Jésus. Vous devez prendre votre propre décision. Par exemple: le fait que votre époux croit en Jésus ne fait pas de vous un Chrétien—vous devez toujours recevoir Christ. Si votre époux ne croit pas, cela ne veux pas dire que vous ne puissiez pas devenir chrétien.—vous pouvez quand même recevoir Christ.

Certains d’entre nous n’ont jamais reçu Christ. Je voudrais vous inviter à revenir pour en apprendre plus sur ce Jésus et décider si oui ou non vous voulez le recevoir. Certains d’entre vous sont peut être déjà prêts…

Traduit par coffeebean24, avec autorisation. Auteur: Gary DeLashmutt. Source: www.xenos.org