June 14 is Flag Day, a national holiday celebrating the Stars and Stripes since 1949.
Today is Flag Day, and President Obama says Americans should be proud of Old Glory by flying it wherever possible. He’s made the customary proclamation designating Flag Day, but is also extending the observance by declaring the upcoming days as National Flag Week.
Flag day is a celebration of our American Flag. Being an American is a good thing, but there are those that feel we should be ashamed. I see no reason for that. We built this nation from the roots up. Did we do right by the Native Americans? Absolutely not, but that part of history cannot be changed. We became a great nation. Something to be proud of.
The flag represents a lot of things. It is not simply a scrap of fabric. However, there are many who do not see it as anything special. When I lived in Georgia I duct-taped a small 8-inch flag to the back of my mailbox which sat at the curb. The next day the flag was lying on the ground. Now, duct tape is mighty powerful. MacGyver used duct tape for all sorts of things, and it never failed him. I re-taped the flag. The next day it was in my mailbox with a note telling me that I was not allowed to deface the mailbox. How was a flag, not interfering with the function of the box, defacing anything? I need to point out, I was allowed to put a small green circular sticker on that very same mailbox to let the paper delivery person know to leave a paper, but not a flag. It was okay for the mailman to throw my property, the flag, on the ground like so much trash. None of it made any sense.
Our flag has grown from 13 stars to 50. It represents security, opportunity, responsibility, respect, and pride. It gives so much to this country; yet, we give it very little in return. The flag gets no respect. It can be burned by anyone who wants to make a statement or simply get attention. There used to be rules to follow. The flag always came down at sunset. I’ve seen some so tattered from flying constantly, day and night, that they was barely anything left of the flag.
Easily recognized, the American flag is known for its greatness, many opportunities, and power. Its people gave it that power. Foreigners recognize this country as a place of refuge, opportunity, and safety; while a growing number of its own citizenry disregarded everything about America as stupid or wrong.
Again, I have a problem understanding how you can live in America, and not feel some pride. I don’t always agree with the government, but I still feel a pride in this country because of the people who built it, and what it stands for. People make a country–not governments.
The Pledge of Allegiance, as an expression of loyalty to the flag and the republic of the United States of America, was added in 1942 by Congress. It was composed by Francis Bellamy in 1892 and has been modified four times since then. Mr. Bellamy was a Baptist minister and Christian socialist (oxymoron?). The original version was: I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
The pledge was to be quick and to the point. He designed it to be recited in 15 seconds. As a socialist, Bellamy wanted to include two words from the slogan of the French Revolution–equality and fraternity, but opted not to because he knew the state superintendents of education were against equality for women and African Americans. He used liberty and justice because they were basic, undebatable, and all that one nation could handle.
The Pledge was first used in public schools on October 12, 1892, during Columbus Day observances, coordinated with the opening of the World’s Columbian Exposition (aka Chicago World’s Fair) in Chicago, Illinois.
In 1923, the words, my flag, were changed to “the Flag of the United States”, to help new immigrants not confuse loyalties between their birth country and the US. A year later, the words “of America” were added. On June 22, 1942, the US Congress officially recognized the Pledge for the first time. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Louis A. Bowman, an attorney from Illinois, was the first to initiate adding the phrase “under God”, claiming it was used in Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. The National Society of the Daughters of the American Revolution gave him an Award of Merit for the idea. In 1951, the Knights of Columbus began including that phrase in their Pledge. In 1952, Susan Anald suggested to President Truman to include “under God” as part of the Pledge of Allegiance.
It wasn’t until 6/14/1954 that President Eisenhower signed the bill into law. He stated “From this day forward, the millions of our school children will daily proclaim in every city and town, every village and rural school house, the dedication of our nation and our people to the Almighty…In this way we are reaffirming the transcendence of religious faith in America’s heritage and future; in this way we shall constantly strengthen those spiritual weapons which forever will be our country’s most powerful resource, in peace or in war.”
In researching for this article I found a comment made by a woman: “So you say I pledge allegiance and right there I don’t care for that language. It sort of means loyalty to your country; well, I feel loyalty to the entire world.” Well, bravo to her for such magnanimous feelings. Loyalty begins with being loyal to yourself (that includes your faith or lack thereof) then it grows to include your family, your friends, your church, and job. It keeps expanding to include your own country, then, if you feel the need, the rest of the world. How can you be loyal to the world if you are not first loyal to your own country? Frankly, being loyal to the world makes little sense. That’s like going to a sports game and cheering for both teams to win. Your favorite team, the one you are “loyal” to, should be the only team you are rooting for.
Be proud of who you are as an American. Be proud of the American flag. Be proud of the military that fights for your freedoms. There is no other country on this planet like the United States of America.

In my mind, being thin and skinny is important. Lately I’ve done a shitting fucking job of doing so. I’ve made far too many excuses and I’m quite ashamed to admit it. I’ve done a horrible, terrible, no good job of getting thin. I’m talking the talk, but I’m not walking the walk. I tell people I eat healthy. I haven’t been. It’s not fast food that’s getting me, it’s just large quantities of foods that I do buy. I go grocery shopping so I buy lots of my favorite foods. Well when I get home, I tell myself these things will go bad quicker since they are fresher items. So I eat a lot to make sure it doesn’t go bad. In my head, one day is the equivalent of 3 weeks and everything is moldy gross. BUT IT’S NOT. I just need to tell myself that what I buy is indeed good, but will last longer than a day.

In my mind, paying off my debts is important. I currently have approximately $16,000 in a student loan, approximately $14,000 in a car loan (I bought a car last month), approximately $1200 on a credit card since I don’t make enough money to actually buy groceries, and a mental debt to my parents for putting up with my dumb decision to live here and struggle. It’s definitely been a life lesson moving and experiencing this place. But I want to leave as soon as I can and start over, again, as quickly as possible. There’s just nothing here for me at all. I can’t think of a single reason to keep me here. I’ve met some great and wonderful people, but the ones that really mean something will stay in touch and hopefully do. I hope I continue to talk to my bootcamp trainer lady, my massage therapist, a handful of people from my networking groups I frequent, and a few friends that I’ve made who are actually my age (haha).

In my mind, having a boyfriend or a potential boyfriend was a big necessity a few months ago. I don’t talk about my guy situation because when I do talk about it, I tend to overthink what’s going on and screw things up. Just know that I’m working on it, something good is happening, and once I get to K-town, things will be better.

Those are probably the things I think about the most. Unfortunately a lot of my thoughts revolve around money issues like my debts. Realistically, I’m paying them, they’re getting taken care of, so I just should leave it alone. I don’t have anything else that’s really “important” or “urgent.”

Reposting the questions to show where I’m at:

101 important questions to ask yourself

1. Who are you?
2. What are you passionate about?
3. What are the achievements you are most proud of?
4. What are you most grateful for in life?
5. What are the most important things to you in life?
6. How would you describe yourself?
7. What are your values? What do you represent? What do you want to embody?
8. Do you love yourself?
9. … Why or Why not?
10. How can you love yourself more today?
11. What is your ideal self? What does it mean to be your highest self?
12. Look at your life now. Are you living the life of your dreams?
13. If you have one year left to live, what would you do?
14. If you have one month left to live, what would you do?
15. If you have one week left to live, what would you do?
16. If you have one day left to live, what would you do?
17. If you have an hour left to live, what would you do?
18. If you have one minute left to live, what would you do?
19. What would you do today if there is no more tomorrow?
20. What are the biggest things you’ve learned in life to date?
21. What advice would you give to yourself 3 years ago?
22. If you are yourself 1 year from the future, how would you advise the you now?
23. Is there something you’re still holding on to? Is it time to let it go?
24. What are you busy with today? Will this matter 1 year from now? 3 years? 5 years?
25. What are your important and most urgent tasks?
26. What opportunities are you looking for?
27. How can you create these opportunities?
28. What are your biggest goals and dreams?
29. What’s stopping you from pursuing them? …Why? How can you overcome them?
30. If you are to do something for free for the rest of your life, what would you want to do?
31. What would you do if you cannot fail; if there are no limitations in money, resources, time or networks?
32. What do you want to achieve 1 year from now?
33. … 3 years?
34. … 5 years?
35. … 10 years?
36. How important are these goals to you?
37. What if these goals are doubled? Tripled? Magnified by 10? How would you feel? Would you prefer to achieve these or your previous goals?
38. Who are the people who have achieved similar goals? … What can you learn from them?
39. Are you putting any parts of your life on hold? … Why?
40. What’s the top priority in your life right now?
41. What are you doing about it?
42. If you were to die tomorrow, what would be your biggest regret? What can you do now to make sure that doesn’t happen?
43. For every experience you get: What are the biggest things you have learned?
44. How can you do this better the next time?
45. If you had 1 million dollars, what would you do with it?
46. Do you love your job?
47. What is your ideal career?
48. How can you start creating your ideal career starting today?
49. What is your ideal diet?
50. What do you need to do to achieve your ideal diet?
51. What is your ideal home like?
52. What do you need to do to achieve your ideal home?
53. What is your ideal physical look?
54. What do you need to do to achieve your ideal physical look?
55. What is your ideal life?
56. What can you do to start living your ideal life?
57. What would you want to say to yourself 1 year in the future?
58. … 3 years?
59. … 5 years?
60. … 10 years?
61. What do you fear most in life?
62. Is there anything you are running away from?
63. Are you settling for less than what you are worth? … Why?
64. What is your inner dialogue like?
65. What limiting beliefs are you holding on to?
66. Are they helping you achieve your goals?
67. If not, is it time to let them go?
68. What empowering beliefs can you take on to help you achieve your goals?
69. What bad habits do you want to break?
70. What good habits do you want to cultivate?
71. What are the biggest actions you can take now to create the biggest results in your life?
72. Where are you living right now – the past, future or present?
73. Are you living your life to the fullest right now?
74. What is the meaning of life?
75. What is your purpose in life? Why do you exist? What is your mission?
76. How can you make your life more meaningful, starting today?
77. What drives you?
78. What are the times you are most inspired, most motivated, most charged up?
79. What did you do during those times? How can you do more of that starting today?
80. How can you change someone’s life for the better today?
81. Who are the 5 people you spend the most time with?
82. Are these people enabling you or holding you back?
83. What qualities do you want to embody? (Refer to Q7: Values and Q11: Ideal Self) Where can youmeet people who embody these qualities?
84. Who inspire you the most?
85. How can you be like them?
86. What is your ideal life partner like?
87. Where can you find him/her?
88. How can you get to know him/her?
89. Are you afraid of letting others get close to you?
90. … Why?
91. Who is/are the most important person(s) to you in the world?
92. Are you giving them the attention you want to give?
93. How can you spend more time with them starting today?
94. What kind of person do you enjoy spending time with?
95. How can you be this person to others?
96. Who do you want to be like in 1 year?
97. … 3 years?
98. … 5 years?
99. … 10 years?
100. Who are your mentors in life? (formal or informal)
101. What is one thing you’re going to do differently after completing this exercise

All of my life I have struggled with image issues. Body image, mostly. In my mind, I wasn’t going to be happy until I looked like Heidi Klum and JLO’s lovechild, and I was willing to go to any and all extremes to get there—and BOY, did I reach some crazy extremes. I dieted, I exercised, I starved myself, I binged, I purged, I cried, I took measurements and percentages and spent my nights creating meal plans that were going to help me find my happiness. I told myself that ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’, pushed myself to roll out of bed at the butt-crack of dawn to run sprints while my friends dreamt of bonbons and lollipops in their peaceful slumber. I ran 4 half marathons in 4 weeks, counted calories as if my life depended on it, and missed out on more events than I can even account for simply because food would be present and I didn’t want to have to come up with another excuse as to why I wouldn’t be joining them for dinner.

This was my life, and let me tell you–it was exhausting. For any of you that may be sitting on the edge of your seat wondering anxiously how the story ends, I will save you the wait and tell you that I never did find my happiness. Not in the selfish, pathetic, controlling, absurd, vain, sometimes borderline disordered way I had been going about life previously, at least.

……but then it happened.

I don’t really even know how to explain what happened to me, but all I can tell you is that it saved my life. Not literally, of course, but this “lightbulb” that occurred within my mind absolutely saved me from living the pathetic and unsatisfied life that I was on the road to living. I woke up one morning, 8 weeks out from a competition I was preparing for, feeling as though I was never going to get lean enough, buff enough, sculpted enough, and to be completely honest, I had HAD ENOUGH.

I stopped. I looked at myself in the mirror.
and suddenly, I saw myself completely different than I had ever seen myself before…

Right then and there in that exact moment, I loved myself.
I loved every curve, every line, every imperfection.
I loved every flaw, every sun-kissed freckle, every unsymmetrical feature.
I loved my tiny waist and my huge booty and my sleepy eyes and hair that refuses to stay in place.
I loved my thunder thighs and my small shoulders and the dimples in my lower back.
I loved every single thing that the judge at a competition would tell me I needed to change.

This person who knew nothing about me except the number on my suit. This person that didn’t know my struggles, my past, my failures and accomplishments–this person who probably didn’t even know my name.

Now don’t get me wrong, I respect and admire many fitness competitors and their hard work and dedication to a hobby that they love. But I also think that it is so easy to get completely consumed in one specific part of your life that you lose yourself in the process.

You become your hobby.It is your sole identifier. Without it, you feel as though you have nothing left.

If you were to become famous tomorrow, what would it be for? Where is the majority of your time, effort, and energy going? Are you proud of those efforts, or does your time and energy yearn to be given to something more deserving?

Now, let me ask you something else…if this part of your life was completely erased tomorrow, would you still exist?
Would there be anything left?

The scary part about this question is that only a few months ago, I truly would have said that there would be nothing left. This was my life. My purpose. My passion. My everything. But as my head finally crept above the water and I so eagerly gasped for air, I realized that this is FAR from everything. In fact, this is nothing. 

It’s moments like these that we really get a chance to find out who we are. More importantly, it’s in these moments that we find out where we are going and who we will become. Ripped out of our comfort zones, often kicking and screaming and fighting the change with all our might, we learn that we can continue to fight, or we can surrender. We can be demolished by the chaos around us or we can search within ourselves for a source of strength so powerful that nothing could destroy our peace of mind.

Sometimes we find ourselves caught in the middle of a storm. And sometimes, caught in the middle of a storm, we find ourselves.

It was by entering this storm that I realized how long I had been chasing happiness, and it was in enduring this storm that I realized just how happy I truly am. How happy I am with my life and all of the amazing people that are in it. How negligent I have been of so many wonderful people simply because of my vain habits. How many opportunities I’ve missed, chances I have passed up, and memories that haven’t been created because I was too wrapped up in my own world.

It wasn’t until I stepped out of MY world that I realized just how big and beautiful OUR world really is. 

Being healthy is wonderful, working out out and staying active is a must. I love the feeling of pushing myself to new limits, accomplishing new goals, and releasing pent up stress and frustration while working up a good sweat.

But, more than this, I love living my life. I love having a beer with my dad or a glass of wine with my sister. I love taking my niece and nephew to TCBY for Waffle Cone Wednesdays and going to a family BBQ on time even(especially)  if that means eating a hamburger with my family. I love skipping a workout to have a coffee date with a girlfriend, I love planning a vacation without worrying about hotel gyms and packing exercise bands.

I love exercising my mind, emotions, and intellect just as much (if not more) than exercising my body.

The crazy thing about this is that the minute I stopped caring so much about my physical appearance and began focusing on other aspects of my life, the happier I became with the way I looked. The minute I ate a cookie and didn’t immediately keel over and die, skipped a workout without creating the apocalypse, and began striving to create a balance in the areas of my life not involving anything physical, the more I began accepting and loving myself for who I am right at this very second–not who I was hoping to become. The minute I stopped focusing on the things that didn’t matter, I gave all the things that DO matter a chance to catch up.

My wishes and hopes and fears. My plans and my bucket list and my fairytale. My happily ever after.

To be completely honest, a few months ago my “fairytale” would have been to meet a sponsored athlete at a fitness expo, fall in love instantly when we realize we both use the same kind of pre-lift, and do HIIT intervals into the sunset as we live happily ever after. But now, the thought of this makes me shudder.

I want so much more.

I want to travel and explore and learn something new every single day. I want to be challenged and tested and placed against all odds. I want to try and fail and try even harder.

I want to chase my dreams and catch them, I want to find my fairytale and live it, I want to look back on my life and be proud of it.

All too often we get so consumed with one tiny portion of our lives that we forget to remember how many beautiful and amazing qualities we possess. We get so wrapped up in chasing one dream that we put all of the rest of them to sleep.

I challenge you, right this very second, to wake up.

Wake up to your dreams and passions and aspirations. Wake up to all of the beauty that surrounds you and consumes you and lives within you. Wake up to every emotion and experience and opportunity. Take risks, allow yourself to do something you’ve never done before, and try to find security in letting go of all the things that you will never be able to control.

Now that I am “awake,” I am finding myself falling in love with this life over and over and over again. Every moment, every memory, every smile. I fall in love with people and their passions and their goals and their fears. I fall in love with children and their innocence and wide-eyed exploration. I fall in love with sinners and daredevils and chaos and failures. I fall in love with mystery and desire and confidence and knowledge.
I fall in love with everyone I meet and see and encounter.

I fall in love with this life. Over. and Over. And over again.

I fall in love with my friends and their loyalty and our memories. I fall in love with them even though their thighs touch and their quad sweep isn’t visible and they like extra parmesan on their pizza. I fall in love with the sweet boy that holds the door open for an elderly woman even though he probably doesn’t know how to bench press with proper form. I fall in love with my sister, reading her children a story before bedtime and softly kissing them goodnight, even though she didn’t make it to the gym this week.I fall in love with the boy who approaches me because he wants to know more about the girl behind the mask and tough exterior.

I am in tears as I think about how much I’ve missed out on. My heart breaks as I think about how hard I have been on myself and how many petty things I used to worry so much about. But I smile as I think about the future, and how many times I am going to be able to fall in love with this life all over again.

Thanks to the moment the stars aligned, my soul was awakened, and the lights came on.

Thanks to the moment that I fell
unapologetically, passionately and completely
head over heels in love with myself.

It’s hot here in Colorado — and it’s going to be hot all week with it staying in the 90′s!

A few weeks back my boyfriend graduated with his bachelors degree from Colorado State University. He studied business administration with a concentration in accounting. Jon has worked so hard to earn his degree and I am so proud of him. He has accomplished so much and is so diligent about his work. I really look up to him, and at times wished I were as studious as he.

He wants to continue his education with a masters degree in accountancy. He is very driven and hopes to go back to school this upcoming spring. He is very eager and intelligent, and I am so proud of him.

Supplies used: I cut out the letters, numbers, and word blurb with my Cricut machine. I used Martha Stewart’s edge punch and cordinations cardstock.

Congratulations to my boyfriend, Jon!

Love,
Melissa

My new book! Hopefully be ready for sale by the end of the year!

Also, if you’re interested in getting a book published, check out http://teamprojectspublishing.co.uk
They’re a great company with really friendly, helpful staff and competitive prices!

Check out my wonderful illustrator’s blog too! If you need something illustrated or are just looking for some incredible artwork, she’s the girl for you! Examples of her work can be found at  http://natalieiskander.com

This is a presentation I gave at a TEDx conference in March earlier this year. With the theme of “Facing the Future” I share some of my experiences and suggest what we can learn from Ghana to face our own future at home in Britain.

However, today was not just a typical day in the supermarket for me; I wasn’t in my comfort zone which is ‘Marks & Spencer’ (heaven) or ‘Tesco’. I am currently visiting my family in Italy and therefore my beloved M&S was replaced by the Italian ‘DiMeglio’.

So today I had clear in my mind the three things I needed for today’s dinner: Salmon, Mustard and Cherries. Yum. The last two were very easy to find but unfortunately they had run out of the former. Therefore I had to quickly make a change of plan, something not very easy for someone with such a limited repertoire of known recipes, as I mentioned in the previous post! I finally settled on making an omelette with asparagus on the side. Easy enough. As I was nearing the exit I had a brilliant idea: why didn’t I make for desert a fruit salad? I could cut the fruit into slices and stick them onto skewers. Genius! There was just one problem… I had no idea how to say ‘skewer’ in italian. The conversation with the shop assistant was as follows:

Me: Hi! I was wondering if you had any…erm…some of those…little brown sticks?!
Shop Assistant: Excuse me? Little brown sticks?
Me: Erm, yeah sorry, never mind!

Try as I might I had a complete memory blank and I couldn’t for the life of me remember what they were called. As I was walking away shamefully I could hear the shop assistant tut and laugh to himself. Lovely.

Anyway, as I’m sure you’re all happy to hear, I did end up making the asparagus and the omelette! I have included a photo of the asparagus.

The fact in itself that no one was hurt makes this meal a huge success! M&S, I really do miss you, but I think I’ll be just fine here in Italy☀

P.S Here is a photo of what I had planned on making for dessert.

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Ako Mismo, August 07, 2012

Not only did we have a fabulous time this weekend, but man am I proud of Freddy for going through the IB in a much calmer and more sophisticated way than I did. He is the bestest of brothers. Mucho love.

In her vision, Davis saw a proud and pleasure loving woman tormented in hell. The excerpts of what she saw are detailed below:

As I gazed aghast at these awful things, a spirit approached me and I recognised her. She was someone I had known on earth. On the outside she looked far more brilliant than she had been in the flesh. Her body, face, eyes and hands seemed to have a metallic lustre that changed with every movement and every thought.

“Marietta, we meet again. But,” and she paused and gazed at me, “I know that you will not stay here, as I must do. You can see that I am now a disembodied spirit. Everyone who inwardly denies the Saviour comes here when they die.

“I can see that strange feelings are stirring your heart. I felt the same! When I discovered where I was I looked and wondered. I was bewildered and anxious, but I also experienced something that you have not yet known. I have a deep sorrow inside that this brilliant exterior would love to hide,” she went on quickly, “but I must tell you, I must warn you about it.”

She looked at me urgently. “My life on earth suddenly came to an end. As I left the world I travelled very quickly in the direction determined by my strongest desires. Inwardly I had always wanted to be pursued and honoured – to be flattered by everyone. I wanted to follow the perverted desires of my proud, rebellious and pleasure loving heart. I wanted pleasure without restraint, the freedom to fulfill any passion, to do anything I wanted to live in a world where there was no religion, no prayer, no Sunday church and no one to rebuke me when I did wrong. I wanted a place where all my time was spent in fast living, with no one to stop me.

“So I entered the spirit world with these attitudes and went to the place suited to them. I rushed to enjoy the glittering scenes that you can see and was welcomed straight away, for they could see that I was fit for this place. They did not welcome you because they could see that your underlying desires are quite different.

“I had a wonderful reception. They rushed to greet me and embrace me, shouting ‘Welcome! Welcome!’ I was amazed and confused, but nevertheless excited and energised by the atmosphere of the place. I found myself pulsating with a strange and restless power.

“A phosphorescent light was given off by every part of me. It concentrated about my head like a brilliant crown, and reflected on my face, giving it a wild unearthly glow. As I breathed out, my breath became like a robe that wrapped itself around me, making me look just like all of my companions here. I became aware that some strange force was spreading through my brain, absolutely possessing it.

“So I followed my impulses and abandoned myself to all the attractions around me. I set out to satisfy my cravings for pleasure. I partied. I joined the wild and sensuous dancing. I picked the shining fruit. I plunged into the rushing streams and gorged myself with everything that seemed to be delicious and inviting. But when I tasted these things 1 found they were repulsive and caused me more and more pain. The desires I have are so unnatural that the very things I crave for I detest, and the things I delight in torture me. It creates in me a strange addiction. My appetite is dulled, yet my hunger is not satisfied and cannot ever be satisfied.

“I crave for everything I set eyes on, but when I lay hold of these things I feel only disappointment and agony. With every new experience I feel some strange fantasy, hallucination and intoxication. Strange things happen all the time, and these give me more hallucinations and more fears.

“In myself I seem to have become a part of the whole scene here. I cannot stop myself from saying what everyone else is saying. I laugh and philosophise. I scoff, blaspheme and ridicule. Yet my every phrase, no matter how impure, is full of sparkling wit, glowing metaphors and clever persuasion.”

She gestured around her. “The waving trees, the shining fruit, the objects of gold, the moving phantoms, the deceiving waters – all these things present a dazzling picture, but they only mock me. Inwardly I crave to satisfy my hunger and thirst, but my desire creates a tantalising illusion of cool waters that I can never drink, of delicious fruits 1 can never taste, of refreshing air I can never feel, and peaceful sleep I can never enjoy. I am fully aware that these things around me are nothing but delusive fantasies, but they are a controlling power which dominates and confuses my mind with a cruel magic.

“I am continually attracted to evil. I am the slave of perverted and deceptive forces and the evil that controls them. My will is dying, and as it dies so does my hope of mental freedom. Instead I am becoming convinced that I am a fundamental part of this whole revolving fantasy.”

She looked at me, her eyes full of despair, and pointed around her. “This place, curtained off by that dark cloud, is one great sea of perversion and depravity. Here you will find lust and pride, hatred and greed, ambition and strife, love of self: blasphemies and mad partying. All of these things are here, fanned into a raging fire. If some particular evil is not the specialty of one spirit, there is always another to provide it, so that the total effect is the combination of all these evils. This is where I live and I am bound by it.”

She seized me by the arm and directed my attention to the groups of people milling around. “Here you will find those who exploited the poor, employers who robbed workers of their wages, others who put heavy burdens on the weary. Those who followed false religions are here, together with hypocrites, adulterers and murderers. So too are the suicides – those who were not satisfied with their lives and brought them to an end.

“If people only knew about the dark and awful night that they fall into when they die unprepared, they would try to postpone their death rather than hurry it up – no matter how great their troubles. They would act sensibly and improve their lives. Earth,” she added, “is a place of testing for everyone.

She forced me to walk along a path off to the side. “Do you think life is full of grief on earth? Well here, no matter where you look, you find many more new reasons for gloom. Is your hope of finding happiness on earth fading? Well, all you will ever know in this place is unceasing, unsatisfied and unholy desire.”

She paused, a look of pain spreading across her face.

“Not only that, but your senses here are infinitely more acute. On earth there are sins that give your conscience a twinge. But here, those same sins penetrate into the very essence of our existence and the pain becomes a part of us. To compound that, the awareness of suffering and the ability to suffer are far greater here than they are on earth.”

She stopped in front of me and looked me in the eye.

“Marietta, I feel it is futile to try to describe our deplorable condition. I often wonder, is there no hope? But I know the answer. How can disharmony live in the middle of harmony? When we were in the body we were warned about the consequences of our lifestyle, but we loved our own ways better than those which are good for us. Now we have fallen into this fearful place. We have caused our own sorrow.”

Her face twisted in pain as she reflected.

“God is just. He is good. We know that our suffering is not the result of a vindictive law of our Creator. Marietta, this misery we endure is brought about by our breaking the moral law. We should have followed it and we would have been safe. We would have lived in peace and wholeness.

“But sin!” she rasped. “You parent of endless troubles! You insidious enemy of peace and heaven! Why do mortals love your ways?”

At this point she fixed her eyes, wild with despair, upon me. I shrank from her awful glare and the torture revealed in her face. Turning around I noticed that many more of the hopeless beings had gathered around her, struggling to suppress their true feelings as they listened to her describing their sufferings. I was filled with horror and turned away to try to escape from her.

This seemed to make her grief even worse and she quickly spoke. “No Marietta, don’t leave me. Can’t you bear it even for a short time – to see and hear about the things I am suffering? Stay with me, for I have to tell you more.” Her voice became even more urgent.

“You are shocked by these scenes, but let me tell you this. Everything you see around you is only the surface of even deeper woes. Marietta, there are no good and happy beings living with us. Everything is dark. Sometimes we dare to hope for redemption, still remembering the story of Redeeming Love. We ask the question: can that love penetrate this place of gloom and death? Is there any hope that we might be set free from these desires and urges that bind us like chains? Will we ever be released from these passions that burn like wildfire in this wretched world?”

Overcome by her feelings she began to sob and she did not speak to me again.

Marietta Davis’ vision was recorded in a book entitled Scenes Beyond the Grave. The excerpts above are from a plain English rewrite of book produced by Dennis and Nolene Prince.

Nine Days In Heaven: The Vision of Marietta Davis

A PDF of the original old English version is available here

http://www.dailybread.com.au/e-books/Marietta_Davis/Scenes%20Beyond%20the%20Grave.pdf

First, introducing the VRP VIP Birthday Club! This is great for all ages but VERY exclusive. Only 10 memberships will be sold each year; 5 children + 5 teens/adults.

The children’s membership is good from newborn through 12 years old and includes:

• A complimentary portrait session on or close to their birthday
• A complimentary gift from Tutus for All Boutique
• VIP treatment on the date of their session
• Print release rights to one portrait taken from their session to be used on their party announcements or more

The teen + adult membership is good from 13 years old and up through adults. It includes:

• A complimentary glamour portrait session on or close to their birthday
• A complimentary surprise gift or gift basket
• VIP treatment on the date of their session
• Print release rights to one portrait taken from their session to be used on party announcements or more

Each membership costs $50 to join and the price includes everything listed above. These memberships will be good for the remainder of this year and the membership club will reset in January of each year. If you would like to sign up for the birthday club, please email: roseyslocum@visionofrosephotography.com

The second portion of my announcement comes for those who have asked me to create a digital only package for my services and well… here it is! I introduce to you our brand new digital portrait package for family sessions, maternity, engagement sessions, newborn + baby sessions, smashcake sessions and senior portrait sessions:

The Flora | $250 | Includes 1 to 2 hour portrait session + 5 different poses in high resolution digital images uploaded to PASS.

So, what is PASS? PASS is an online album where you will have access to download your images as well as share them on Facebook, through email or Pin them to Pinterest directly from your album! And now, PASS introduces the option to order 4×6 prints, 5×7 prints or 8×12 prints of your images DIRECTLY from PASS without the extra hassle! And, the best part, their prices are AMAZINGLY cheap (starting at $1 each!) The prints come directly from White House Custom Color which is a professional printing company that will deliver your high quality images directly to your doorstep.

What do I mean by “5 different poses in high resolution digital images”? You will get to choose 5 of your favorite poses and I will upload them in color, black and white and with a vintage edit so you can choose your favorites! So, essentially, you’ll get 15 images on PASS to choose your favorites!! You’ll have access to those images to make as many prints as you wish! Don’t want prints? You can download the images and save them forever. They’re YOURS!

Book your session before July and you will receive $50 off!! I hope you find this package option more convenient and affordable!

Happy portrait taking!!

xoxo, Rosey

Turkey (Johann Wenzel Peter)

Here is a magnificent turkey painted by naturalistic German master Johann Wenzel Peter  (1745-1829) sometime in the late eighteenth or early nineteenth century.  Peter was acutely fond of painting images depicting biblical paradise filled with beautiful animals living in harmony (but with ominous thunder clouds blowing in).  This magnificent Narragansett Turkey boldly strutting along in a wilderness beneath a lowering sky looks as though he could almost have come from one of the artist’s religious compositions about the world before the Fall. Peter is almost forgotten now (to such an extent that I can find his art online but can not find a biography) yet the work online reveals that he was the greatest turkey painter of the Enlightenment…and perhaps ever.

Today was a pretty simple day. I went to BNI (a business networking group for my job) as a sub for someone, went to work where I did pretty much nothing all day again, went to a new business ribbon cutting, came home and cleaned for about an hour before I headed out to do a workout bootcamp.

It’s a pretty normal day for a Tuesday. Tuesdays are always BNI, work, bootcamp. Long days.

In one year, I hope I’m not still in BNI because I’ll hopefully be back in K-town doing something completely unrelated to this job that has nothing to do with BNI. I’ll say the same for 3 and 5 years. I don’t want to be doing this.

I hope I’m still not at this job. I give props to my classmate and friend for starting it up, but they don’t need my position full time just yet. I can’t (nor could anyone with my qualifications) survive off of $1000 per month with the bills I do. No other income provided. Depending on the next job, I will hopefully find something that lasts a while. Although I’m good at adapting and learning new positions… it grows tiresome.

I hope to still be doing workouts of some kind. I want to try and find a similar bootcamp back in K-town to join up. Heck I might even start one myself. I know people. In the back of my mind, some sort of low-key bikini competition would be fun. But probably not attainable with my body composition. I have lean long legs and a short flubby torso. Truth hurts. No matter how clean I eat, how many ab workouts I do, how much cardio I put in… the stomach is NEVER flat. Legs? I barely go for a jog and they’re lean and defined. Realistically, I’d like to get to, and maintain, approximately 18% body fat. I just want to be athletic and lean looking. I don’t  necessarily need to be a certain weight, just a certain look. Though the numbers are such a thing in my brain, I probably can’t let one go without the other.

I fluctuate so much anymore. Between about 133 and 140. Sometimes within days. I know there is water weight, change in menstrual cycle, blah blah blah… but I just wish I could watch the numbers go down actively. I would probably be happier at 130. 125 would be ideal. But I just can’t get down to those numbers.

I’m trying a clean diet. Fruits, veggies, lean meats on occasion, no dairy, trying not to eat gluten products. Sugar is my undoing. Cookies, pastries, drinks, argh it just boggles me how much sugar is in food. IT IS SO ADDICTIVE. I never thought I could admit it, but no matter how hard I try and not eat something sweet, I do because it’s something “I can’t have.” I can’t have it, therefore I want it.

I told myself I wouldn’t let this happen again. It has. I’m failing. And I don’t like to be a failure… I’m swollen with failure.

There was a period of about a couple of months where I struggled to get him to bath because of it. I managed to get him in the bath barely once a week and only after tears. I had to promise that clean socks would be left right next to the bath so that as soon as he was done we could dry his feet and put fresh socks on. He would only bathe when no-one else was here (even his dad) and the front door had to be locked to stop anyone coming in. Even at school he had to be given ‘special allowance’ for indoor P.E so that he never had to take his socks off.

On Saturday we went for a long walk then to a beach. It was rather quiet and as usual Abigail splashed in the water and had a whale of a time. As usual, Thomas just looked on and was adamant he didn’t want to play anyway (whilst looking miserable). We suggested that Thomas just go have fun in the water with his socks on and he went for it. He had SO much fun; even he couldn’t deny it.

After about 45 mins of splashing, his socks were way past heavy and full so we suggested he take them off …… not expecting him to AT ALL (he’s often kept wet uncomfortable socks on for hours and hours just so he didn’t have to take them off) and to our shock and amazement he asked me “What should I do mummy?” I bent down and said we’d take them off. He just went with it ……. I could not believe it.

I know this will take more work, but I am SO incredibly proud

This beauty of a photo was taken on my Canon PowerShot SX500 IS.

Main Information of the photo:
Aperture f/5.6
Focal Length 96.9mm
Exposure 0.003sec (1/400)
ISO Speed 400

This was not an easy image to capture, chipmunks are very fast and extremely fast but I got this great shot of it raising it’s head and this was the only shot I took of it. Even though there are many other great photos that I have taken, this is the photo that I, personally am most proud of.

Photo Week: 10th – 16th June

It’s been quite a ride.
I’ve learned A LOT! And had a lot of fun!

A big thanks goes out to everyone involved, especially the artist, Depui, for being so cool with us ‘music video newbies’!

Shot on locations in Lier, Buskerud, Norway.

Director & Editor: Christine Martinsen
Director of Photography: David Judah Amores
Producer: Thor Øyvind Kristiansen
Co-Producer & Light: Viola Vågenes
MUA: Sigrun Skaaraas

Artist: Depui w/Bent Ivar Tversland
Girl: Henriette Melien

1. we are TERRIBLE at accepting a compliment. By the time we deflect it with embarrassed muttered “ach wise ups” or “why do you have to say that?”, “was only allright” we have insulted the person being nice to us.I still find a self loathing comment to throw at any semblance of you are looking lovely…they roll off the tongue so naturally!
2. we are uncomfortable admitting a talent. We can nurture it, work on it, take a degree  or make a career in it…but we equate sayine we are good or sifyed at something (such as music in my case) as being boastful…ie. BAD!
3. saying NO! we can be flat out, run off our feet, but will say “yes” to something we simply should not have agreed to take on, while all the time possibly giving out about the pressure we are under.
4. we tend to raise useless children – in the nicest way possible ..and i love all 4 of mine! but we do too much – therefore we disable them developing skills of independence, resilience, realising that they NEED to do for themselves. I do think people of my generation as a gross generalisation have raised the “useless generation”….the oone who at 21 can’t do the wash, cook a roastie, ….stop me now . the list could go ON and ON!.
5. saying “thankyou” at a time appropriate to a gesture that we appreciate. When someone does something over and bove expectation…i have made myself in my 40′s say “THANK-YOU”…not in a Helen Steiner Rice way…but a blank card with a few non-flowery way! It feels very good!
6. separating religion and superstition. I am a pic n mix Catholic. I do the parts of Catholicism which i find fit me well. Others i choose are outdated, and not essential to my conscience…and at the end of the day, that has to guide me. But the Irish Catholic upbringing meant for some people a lot of formal prayers….as in my parents generation the Rosary of an evening…or my friend who stands at his Holy Water font daily and recites his prayers. I keep asking what would happen , if for one day, they forgot? Don’t get me wrong i pray…mainly when prayer are needed but also in thanks…but not at set time and place…or else!
7. breaking the mould. We talk about the person who didnt take their husband’s married name, the one who home tutors the children… WHY is it so wrong to walk your own path? I know about 5 years agoat Christmas i decided that anyone whose childrens’ names i didnt know and had been repetitively sending vards to for 20 years, was just silly gesture. People who i know, am in contact with by some means….so we CHOSE not to send Christmas Cards, and to make a donation to Concern or Trócaire with the £50  or so that would be spent on cards and stamps…some people don’t like not getting their cards.
8. we do not COMPLAIN properly!. we whinge to each other, about the meal, the doctor, the way so and so spoke to us…but WHY can we not …or more of us (cos i DO often to my husband’s mortification) complain at the time, in a fashion tha will improve that exact situation for others? If Dr No doesn’t treat you as an intelligent adult able to make informed choices, then he probably will do the same to others!
9. we see WAKES as a thing i have to go to, rather than seeing the benefit that half hour meansto the bereaved family. We have as a couple improved at this consciously …and i have NEVER attended i wake and felt i shouldn’t have…have always been glad i went. But i do remember when i worked, the conversations about “have to go to that wake” or even in family “did they come to anyof our wakes?”…eithe GO with meaning or do NOT come to one of my family’s. no HAVE-TOs admitted!
10. remembering the fun had in small pleasures is NOT outdated. We fwwl we can either afford a holiday or …:(.

• remember the days of a day trip in the car, with no airconditioning,
• having stopped and ate your picnic,
• when your dad turned off the choice of 3 cassettes, and you had a sing song all the way home?
• When children made a tennis court out of freshly mown grass?
• When  you and your frineds played”elastics” ?
• or a long skipping rope entertained a whole street?
• When you played “balls” on your side wall…which in our case was VERY skillful as our shed was pebbledashed….”one, two three and upsies…”
• And the very special ICE-CREAM-SODA…when your mammy threw a blob of icecream into the white lemonade and you were LANDED?

BUT we can make tea like no other race!

To quote from the article, “The University of the Philippines (UP) was the lone Philippine University in the top 100, ranking 67th in the list.”

Honor. Excellence.

Tunay. Palaban. Makabayan. Iskolar ng bayan!