Hellfires of relationship troubles arose last weekend at my master’s temple.

“She keeps trying to change who I am master!”  A man in the front row pleaded with my teacher.
“He is unchangable!”  His wife argued.  “If only…”

“She’s manifesting more mood-swings daily!”  He recklessly amped up his firepower.
“I wouldn’t be angry if he did what he was told!”  She returned fire.

“She accused me of cheating on her!”  He headed down a new route.
“I’ve constantly seen him flirting with prettier young girls everyday!”  She answered right back.

I never realised relationship wars were a spectator sport!
Crowds were chattering louder and busier.

“She is ….!”
“He is…..!”
“She doesn’t…..!”
“He never…..!”

“WAIT… WAIT… WAIT…  Everybody just calm down.”
The master used his big surround-sound speakers for crowd control.

“Men and women are silly in their own spectacular fashions.

While most women often believe they could change men.

Expectations like so will lead to great suffering.

Men on the other hand aren’t any smarter.

They believe women never change.”

Ever been asked to enter meditation to look for a lost pussy cat?  That was me this week.

Badger the cat, frightened by the sounds of explosives during the Loi-Krathong (water festival) celebration 10 days before her disappearance.
She ran away from home and became very lost.  Badger’s owners discovered her when she was just a 2 week old kitten, dumped in the garbage.
They raised her and loved her like their own daughter and they’ve put up pictures of badger in the streets, but to no avail.
Their house wasn’t far from the temple, but coming to see a monk for help was the last thing they thought of.

I sat cross-legged and dialed up Universal-Web.  (no service provider fee required).
Pretty soon I spotted Badger only two houses away from her home, locked in a dark kitchen with no windows.  She appeared fairly bored but was well fed on mice.  Communication with her however was a problem.  Badger’s personal safety-zone wasn’t meant for strangers and she spat at me as soon as I closed up on her.  There’s another excellent Buddhist’s method to get around miss-communication… ask the Devas (otherwise known as Gods.)

I sent my god some nice bliss and good karma (energy) and asked her nicely to help guide Badger home.  Some gambling addicted gods would take incense smoke instead as casino chips.

Badger’s owners called me the next day… their neighbours spotted her on the roof at 4 in the morning.

Thank my God and her friends for helping Badger.

I’m beginning to scare myself again.  I cut the bottom of my arm for the first time in a year.  Why do I keep putting myself through this?  I hate cutting myself, but what can I do about it?  I’m addicted to the feeling I get afterwards.  Why can’t I stop punishing myself?  I don’t deserve this at all.  I’m not in any crisis so why do I keep cutting myself?  Is DBT a waste of time?  I think that it is.

I’m not going to quit though.  I’m still new to this so I’m hoping that it will benefit me in the future.  I have to tell my therapist that cutting is starting to become part of my life again.  I know that she will be a little disappointed in me, but I’ll be disappointed in myself even more.  She doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a cutter anyway.  She only acts like she does and it pisses me off.

Since Adam’s fall we have come to picture God not as a loving Father inviting us to trust him, but an exacting sovereign who must be appeased. When we start from that vantage point we miss God’s purpose on the cross. For his plan was not to satisfy some need in himself at his Son’s expense, but rather to satisfy a need in us at his own expense.

But I am deeply bothered by the thought that in some way God was able to separate himself at the cross. The popular understanding of the cross seems to be that God the Father executed wrath on God the Son while standing at some discrete distance.

Such thinking not only denies the essence of God’s nature but then distorts what happened at the cross. Paul wrote that “God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ…” God was no distant observer, but a participant. He didn’t send Jesus to do what he would not do; but God himself acted through Jesus to bring about our redemption.

Some have taken Jesus’ cry that his Father had forsaken him to mean that at the darkest moment, the Father had to turn his back on the Son. God cannot bear to look on sin, they argue, so that when our sins were laid on him, God had to turn his face away from his Son.

God has never run from sinful humanity. He didn’t hide from Adam and Even in the Garden. They hid from him as he sought them out. It is not God who cannot bear to look on sin, but that we in our sin can’t bear to look on God. He’s not the one who hides. We are. God is powerful enough to look on sin and be untainted by it. He has always done so. He did so at the cross.

– Wayne Jacobsen in “He Loves Me”
Buy it HERE.

What’s the matter Richard? Don’t you
like my little surprise?

With all the hormones we’ve filled you
up with, your poor little cock is just not
up to the job of pleasuring anybody
any more. So we’ll keep it tucked away
in it’s little metal cage tonight. I’ll only
be a distraction.

So, tonight you’ll be wearing this gorgeous
little dildo mask. You now have a cock
that’s even bigger than yours was when
we began your training. Ironic, don’t you
think? And a nice little cock on the other
side for you to spend the night sucking on.
All in all, it’s the perfect little training tool.

So tonight you are to facefuck anyone in
the club who demands it. Male or female.

If you don’t want to do it – say so now.
Oh yes, you can’t say anything. Perfect.
Now let’s get you to work….

Gary McKinnon, Asperger Syndrome, obsession with UFOs, and the wounded pride of Empire

by Jim Gordon

Update, November 28, 2009.

The most recent decision by the Home Secretary to allow the extradition of Gary Mackinnon to the United States is not surprising. The absence of ethical content and responsible moral control in the decisions of the current government, its wholesale capitulation to the demands of the United States that US security concerns give carte blanche for political and military pressures, and that country’s now expedient assertions about the importance of international law, come together against the ironic and morally tragic exposure of US and UK complicity that now forces seasoned diplomats, facing public enquiry, to openly question the legality and legitimacy of the war in Iraq.

I have little to add to the reflections I offered in August. Except this. I am ashamed of the failure of the UK government to protect its own citizen. I am ashamed of the lack of moral courage and legal wisdom on the part of the Home Secretary and the Government which, if they are now over a barrel because of a bad law, were the very Government that drove through its approval. Either way, Gary Mackinnon should not be the one to bear the cost of ill conceived legislation enacted by a supine legislature administered by a domesticated administration.

Gary Mackinnon’s mother asks the right question – if her son’s Asperger’s condition and his current distress, which no one denies, do not constitute a fundamental threat to his well-being such that it compromises his human rights, then what in fact does? “How does a British citizen claim asylum in his own country?” is one of those twisted legal questions that exposes the nonsense of the Home Secretary’s position. Rightly, this country does not send people away if they face a credible theat of serious harm abroad. We have had no medical report published by the Home Office indicating Gary Mackinnon’s health will withstand the trauma of extradition. The impact of edxtradition, trial and sentence on a person with autism whose sense of self and the world is so fundamentally different, is so obviously severe that it would rightly be called inhumane. At which point I want to repeat here my post from August 1, and stand by each word of it.

…………………………………………………..

Disquiet. Unease.
A persistent mood of ethical anxiety.
Discomfort like toothache of the conscience.
Awakening suspicion that something is wrong.
Hard to place and hard to ignore anger.
An inner resistance to saying nothing.

1. No one denies that Gary McKinnon hacked into US computerised defence systems.
2. Computer hacking is bad enough. But to compromise high level national security systems is by any standards a matter of serious concern. In most cases it is also a matter of criminal intent and is rightly treated as such by the relevant legal and judicial systems. (Perhaps the vulnerability of such high level computer systems to attack from an amateur UFO researcher in the UK raises questions of incompetence or negligence which are themselves definable as criminal).
3. Extradition is an important legal process of national co-operation and of reciprocal help between nations in ensuring that it isn’t possible for people to escape justice by virtue of living in another country. But for a nation to give up its citizens to another such laws need to be secure, fair, reciprocal and reviewable to avoid anomalies and injustice.
4. National security is the top of the agenda concern for the Unitred States for reasons that are obvious; the 9/11 attack and the determination to secure again the safety of the homeland, and as its inevitable corollary, the widespread hostility to the US and the UK amongst many Muslim countries and communities, many of the radicalised, following the Afghanistan and Iraq invasions by US and UK troops backed by other non Muslim nations.

So for Gary McKinnon to breach the supposedly elaborate security hardware and software of the Pentagon and other defence facilities, with their lauded military standard fail-safe systems, at such a sensitive time, raises questions that are both worrying and embarrassing for the United States and its global reputation. Somebody needs to pay.

Add now to these observations the equally undisputed fact that Gary McKinnon is a person with Asperger syndrome, obsessive about UFOs, and that his patterns of behaviour are classic expressions of a condition that essentially defines his way of relating to the world. Then ask what questions this raises about the legal and moral implications of a decision to extradite him to the United States, to stand trial for actions he does not deny, but which are explained by a pre-existing condition that is by definition related to compulsive behavioural patterns, and when the likeliest outcome is an inevitable and long jail sentence.

And this because the UK has a treaty with the United States intended to ensure co-operation in dealing with serious crime and terrorist threats, but which was intended for people with ambitions to kill, not persons with an autistic spectrum disorder. Add to this that UK Judges, charged with upholding the law, while acknowledging the severe impact of extradition on this man’s mental health, which they themselves admit may be life-threatening, suggest nevertheless it would not be a breach of his human rights to extradite him to the United States. I find it profoundly ironic that Judges appointed to uphold law, including international and human rights law, take at face value “assurances of appropriate care”, on the very same day it is reported that evidence about whether or not the CIA and british Intelligence knew of or were involved, directly or indirectly, in the mistreatment and alleged torture of a British citizen, could not be heard in a UK court, on the direct intervention of Hillary Clinton, US Secretary of State. Human rights indeed! I am not reassured by the cynical ambiguity of the term “appropriate care” for someone who has so embarrassed the might of the United States, and whom the US sees as a continuing security threat.

I’m not arguing that Gary McKinnon should not face up to the consequences of what he did. He himself recognises that. But given his condition, there are issues of justice here that are deeper than the desire to put on trial, convict, sentence and make the public power statement that seems to be so important to the US authorities pursuing this extradition. The law is not there to serve the political interests of Empire, as instruments of power at the disposal of the state. Justice fundamentally involves using just laws justly, and for the purposes they were intended. Justice, and therefore moral and legal accountability, takes into consideration a person’s capacities, intentions and ability to recognise how personal acts have social consequences. The proper administration of justice requires the law to take into account the reality of a person’s medical condition and the impact of that condition, in this case autism, on a person’s recognition of boundaries and the overall context of their actions – or why not arrest and try persons with Tourette syndrome for using obscene language in public space? As David Cameron said yesterday, in the application of law, justice is not incompatible with compassion in our ways of dealing with people. That is particularly important in a world where compassion now seems to be massively discounted, and hard edged “justice” understood as legal retribution is considered a high value virtue. Mercy does not undermine law, it enhances its authority, demonstrates its value to the community, and quality assures its expression for the public good.

What I miss in the judgement of the judges, and in the reiterated refusal of the Home Secretary to allow a trial in the UK, is the moral courage to discern more deeply, the mature wisdom to decide more humanely, and thus to raise our respect for the law as that which serves us fairly and well. Under this present Government, for all its hyped up claims about making our country more secure, our own citizens are considerably less safe. In the political and cultural background, can be heard the remorseless grind of the machinery of Empire, armoured and determined that those who threaten it will feel the full force of the law. Even when a particular law is badly framed, inadequately qualified and increasingly recognised as open to political manipulation.

That’s why I’m suffering from

Disquiet. Unease.
A persistent mood of ethical anxiety.
Discomfort like toothache of the conscience.
Awakening suspicion that something is wrong.
Hard to place and hard to ignore anger.
An inner resistance to saying nothing.

The follower of Jesus is known by his love—love for God and love for his neighbor.

If we refuse to warn the wicked to turn from his wicked way, we dare not claim to be God’s, for we are ashamed of His Words (Luke 9:26), and we prove by our self-serving silence that we do not love our neighbor as ourselves.

http://maid-victoria.com/
http://www.maid-training.com/

I had the shock of my life on Wednesday morning when I had a call from my son’s headteacher telling me that his behaviour had got to the point that they were going to have to suspend him from school. It wasn’t just the one incident – it has been a build up of rude and agrressive behaviour that stems from his frustrations and the way that he subsequently lashes out at other people in anger. This is the culmination of many months of problems at the school that I’ve not mentioned so much in my blog as I’ve been so pre-occupied with getting out my thoughts on stuff with AP and getting to bed before 3am in the morning that I’ve not had TIME to write about everything else.

My son is 9 years old and was diagnosed at age 6 with ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) – although I had been pushing for a diagnosis of something since he was 2.5 years old! He takes medication called Equasym XL daily to keep him calmer and more focussed and generally I find that the meds combined with good parenting and support from the school keeps him on a fairly even keel.

My son’s ”combined disabilities” for want of a better term mean that as well as the ADHD side giving him a total lack of focus, the Autistic side gives him a great deal of difficulty in understanding and social communication. Although he understands cause & effect and consequences, he has trouble actually applying this to real life circumstances. If you were to give him an example of a playground scenario where one child ends up being hurt by another child and ask him to talk about what each of the children involved could have done differently to avoid injury and confrontation, then he will literally give you a text-book perfect answer. He KNOWS what he is supposed to / should do … but cannot actually get his brain to c0mpute this at the time which leaves him frustrated and lashing out in anger.

Thankfully my son is very well supported at the middle school he’s at. It is a combined primary/middle school which has meant that the same teachers / staff / support workers/SENCO etc get to know the children from ages four through eleven during those really valuable formative years. It has also meant he’s been with the same peer group throughout all of that time as well, so the other kids have had a chance to learn / tolerate him to a certain extent. There have been good and bad aspects of all of the above, but I’ve been really lucky with the support I’ve had from the school on a personal/parental level.

The headmaster Mr P is a very fair man and has given my son a lot of leeway for his “disabilities” – he also understands my personal situation as a single mother of two, (where the father attempts involvement) and basically it all comes down to me (and my support from AP!) Mr P understands my situation with my ex and has actually given me compliments many times on how well I handle things on my own and I’ve had lots of ticks in the good mother box from Mr P about the things AP has suggested that I’ve implemented!

I am SO LUCKY that although I am a single parent, I’m not alone because… even though AP and I don’t live together … he has been such a huge influence on the positive parenting that has made a big difference to my kids. It is so crazy how a man in his early 30s who has no children … has such great ideas/values on parenting!!

It’s okay that this makes me really horny, right?

Seriously AP will make such an amazing step dad and an incredible father that it makes my body twinge in all kinds of wonderful ways!! I LOVE the way he gets so wound up at my ex’s lack of real involvement! AP was with me when I got the call from the school’s headmaster informing me that my son was suspended and he was really there for me.

The upshot of things is that I’ve grounded my son for two weeks. I chose this time period because there is three weeks left of school and four weeks until Christmas (it’s on a Friday this year) which gives him four whole weeks where I expect absolute exemplary  behaviour out of him because not only is his mother severely pissed off with him (I didn’t use those words!)   Santa is watching very very closely!! being suspended from school puts you firmly on the naughty list and you have to work extra hard to get off the naughty list, then even harder to get back onto the good list. So far he thinks all he is getting is coal for Christmas!

Grounded as far as I am concerned means absolutely NO computer and NO television whatsoever. There’s no checking email and they aren’t even allowed to use the computer for homework purposes … and not even allowed to glance over the shoulder of someone else on the computer! If you are grounded and in the room when the TV is on, then it will be on either news, or the Discovery / National Geographic channels with an educational documentary on! You are not allowed to play outside at all and if you even mention the words “I’m bored” then you have to do lines (two sides of A4 lined paper) You also forefeit bedtime hot chocolate and bedtime snacks and get nothing more than a juice to take up to bed. IF you are caught breaking any of the rules of grounding then extra time will be added to your punishment depending on the gravity of your crime.

I love being a mean and cruel mother because IT WORKS. The punishment is all my own except for the addition of lines which was AP’s suggestion. I actually used it on my son yesterday after the phone call from the school and it was an excellent way of getting him to realise just how much trouble he was actually in. I made him write two sides of lined A4 paper saying “I must not be aggresive at school.” I made him start it three times because he wasn’t writing it out neatly enough, then on the fourth time I let him get halfway down the second side before pointing out that any crossing out or mis-spelling meant he had to start all over again.

He was crying his eyes out, flopping on the floor, swinging on the chair and trying to come up with every excuse possible NOT to sit there and write out lines, but I simply maintained control, kept the consistency going and told him tough luck because until every single line of both sides of paper said NEATLY the words “I must not be aggressive at school” then he wasn’t allowed to move even to go to the toilet.

Being so very harsh on him was VERY DIFFICULT even though I was utterly furious that it had got to the point of a suspension!!!! It was a very hard thing to do because in my heart I kept wanting to make excuses for him due to his ADHD & Aspergers and give him reasons to get away with his behaviour … but in my head I knew that the absolutely right thing to do was to come down on him like a tonne of bricks, so that is exactly what I did and IT WORKED! One of the hardest things to do as well was knowing that this all kicked off on a Wednesday … the one night per week that the kids go to their dad, and that during the day on the Thursday when my son was suspended … it would be entirely my ex’s responsibility to make sure that our son was punished.

I don’t ever give my ex credit whatsoever when it comes to parenting our children because of past experience and more proof than you can shake a big hairy stick at that he is indeed a crap father!! BUT what I’ve realised I need to start doing is to give him credit for growing and changing as a person over the last year we have been apart, and for having a vested interest in our kids’ futures.

I was very impressed  by my ex’s parental involvement in this and it was nice to see. Ultimately I would love to have absolutely NO contact with my ex at all, but for the kids it is important that we get on to a certain degree as it will make them emotionally healthier when they are older. I even rang my ex tonight to give him a compliment on the way that he handled everything today and admitted I had been tempted to pick our son up from him at 9am today to make damned sure that he worked hard during those school hours!! I even told my ex that it was AP that turned around to me and said “Nessa seriously, you have to give your ex a chance to prove that he actually can be a good father to those kids. We all know that SON would do much better if you were there with him, but give his father a chance to take care of things too.

If the truth be told I didn’t think my ex would do a very good job of it today at all. I had visions of our son being plonked in front of a TV while my ex “worked from home because he’s so very busy at work”, but what I was actually greeted with when my ex dropped off the kids tonight was both sides of paper completed with the lines I had set our son, plus what the school had set him as work while he was suspended. He had apparently finished all of this by 2pm so my ex made him write out multiplication times tables until 3pm!

I was most impressed. Ohhhh not in any “ohhh look at my ex-husband” kind of way!! Trust me, my thoughts as far as that are concerned stay firmly in the “ewwwww!” camp. I can’t believe I was ever attracted to him and I know damned well that it was my thinking that “ugly blokes won’t cheat on me” that led me to date my ex-husband after my ex-ex … it was more that my ex actually bothered to take an active role in parenting HIS children. It was interesting to see.

My ex and I had quite an interesting phone conversation tonight. I’d said to AP earlier that I thought possibly that my ex’s relationship with his new girlfriend was over based on something he’d said about not being sure what he was doing for Christmas… and during the conversation I had with my ex – he confirmed that it was over I’ll admit part of me did a little silent dance because I am secretly happy that my ex is alone again … but part of me really does feel for him.

I almost got the impression that my ex was trying to flirt with me over the phone, so I changed the subject back to our son and we hung up not long after the subject change.

I am NOT INTERESTED IN MY EX. That is so long gone that the thought of even going there makes me feel physically sick. I am so totally and utterly in love with AP that even if my ex were a more tempting prospect .. I still wouldn’t be interested on  a physical OR emotional level!

AP and I have had the m0st amazing 24 hours over our Weds night together … and if anybody asks me what the big bolt screwed into my ceiling is for … then I will tell them with a very straight face … it’s for hanging things on

Am I a bitch for being happy that my ex’s relationship didn’t work out? Should I feel bad for wanting to say “I told you so” when my ex wanted to tell the children about his new girlfriend and I considered it waaaaaaaaay tooooooo soooooon?! Am I happy and living life with a great big grin???? YOU BETCHA!!!

I choose your cock to fuck me and subjugate me.
Make me take the pain for your pleasure. Next time you see me, turn me over on my stomach, push down panties if I am wearing them, and fuck my ass. If you tell me not to wear panties, and I do, then you will have to punish me. Take them off, and stuff them in my mouth to keep me quiet. I will protest. I will beg you to fuck my pussy first, or at least make your dick wet with my mouth. But you will say no, and you will do what you want. I will tell you that it hurts and that you should stop. And since the safe word is banana, and I have not said it yet, you will keep going.

On Saturday night there was a Manhattan Spanking Association party at a brand new location.  I had been looking forward to this party for over a week and by the time it rolled around, it’d been 2 weeks since my last spanking.  Ok, technically, it had been 24 hours as I’d been spanked briefly the evening before, but I digress…After arriving thirty minutes early and standing around with Rad until the setup crew and guests started to arrive, it got a bit more serious.  Why? Because I’d had a punishment coming for 3 weeks and another for a week that got added on and it was looming closer and closer.  I’ve blogged before about this relationship I have with discipline, and what it means to me, and the one specific rule I have for myself is to get to bed at a reasonable hour (midnight-ish, not 12:30, not 1, and heaven forbid later) so I can wake up rested and at a decent time for class.

Granted it’s my rule, there are some slight stipulations placed by not me, but my mentor *cough* Rad *cough* and one of them is that I am supposed to be in bed at midnight-ish and trying to sleep.  “Trying to sleep” does not equal reading or playing solitaire on my phone, or even doing homework.  I can ask, and am often granted permission, to stay up late for any and all schoolwork.  Well, the instance I was to be punished for, was being up and reading instead of making an effort to fall asleep. The previous weekend he had warned me rather harshly (although not unfairly) that I’d be punished if I made it a point to challenge this rule, and that he didn’t think it was a game and didn’t like that I was acting as though it was.

I wasn’t purposely acting as though it was a game, but with the mood I’d been in, which was one of challenging, yes, I was playing a game.  But once the punishment had been issued and I knew it was coming as soon as the privacy and opportunity were available, suddenly I didn’t want to be in trouble anymore and I wanted to go back to thinking about good girl spankings and being caned into submission. No, I was going to get the punishment strap (really just a London Tanners strap, but it’s only ever used for real life discipline) and it was going to be 25 and hard.

Then, just two weeks later something else happened.  I was sick and unable to do a practice session for a report for class until the day before it was due.  Realizing I needed to hand in a Giving report and had only gotten in a Receiving, I decided not to write one at all and just do a giving at a later date and hand in the report late.  We were permitted one late report for the semester and I had handed the 4 previous ones in on time.

I was informed  in a to-the-point text message, that I would be punished for late assignments.  How? Six of the best of course. I was not looking forward to six cane strokes on top of a hard strapping.  I did end up doing the session report on my break and my teacher accepted it as on time, but my intention was otherwise and thus I was still to be punished.

Seeing as how I was already in quite a bit of trouble, and didn’t want to be in more, I didn’t ‘confess’ other bedtime mistakes as per our agreement.  I am to inform him when I’ve done something, and he decides if I am to be punished or not.  Not me.

When it came time for my strapping at the party, I was sent downstairs (the new location has two floors and 3 of the private playrooms are on the bottom floor) and we went directly into the unoccupied room.  Standing in front of me, Rad lifted my chin as he often does (I have a bit of a problem with eye contact *whistles*) and asked me to tell him honestly, how I had been recently with getting to bed on time.  Completely unable to lie to his face, I said “Not good.”

It got serious.  I was lectured on how keeping information from him was lying and how unacceptable that was.  I won’t get into the specifics of it but he took me across his knee right then and started spanking me for not telling him about other times, reminding me that it was he who decided when or if I got punished, and not me. The lecture and telling of future consequences had me crying, and he was only using his hand.  It wasn’t very long despite it’s strength, but he stood me and moved me to the couch and had me lay down.  I immediately grabbed a small throw pillow and clung to it.

He told me there would be no leniency, no break between strokes, that I had basically given up any small comfort by lying.  I felt horrible.  Well, horrible is an understatement, but I felt awful for not only disappointing him in the first place, but then keeping other things from him, simply because I was afraid of being in more trouble.  I knew the worst he’d do had he known about the other instances was punish me, but lying is quite different.

At this point, I completely accepted my punishment but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.  Again, I am not sure it was the hardest strapping he’s ever given me, but it was certainly the worst.  The strokes were hard, fast, and unsympathetic.  I didn’t turn my head, I didn’t want to see his face.  I knew he’d look angry and disappointed, and I just didn’t want to see it.  I held onto that pillow, cried, and held still.  I wasn’t trying to be stoic, but rather, accepting. Submissive.  I wanted to submit to the punishment, take it, and accept it as loving correction.

I wanted to show him that I knew I had made a huge mistake, and that I did trust him to punish me when, and how he saw fit.  I didn’t kick or beg, or even say anything.  I knew he knew I was sorry, there was no need to say it anymore.  When the 25 strokes were finished, he put the strap down and knelt down right beside me and rubbed my bottom a bit.  He sat down next to me and asked if I was ok, and I nodded yes.  He stroked my hair a bit and spoke to me, but I don’t recall all of what he said.  I just remember it was comforting, that I felt special, important, loved & cared for, and most of all – forgiven.  I felt like, even though I mess up sometimes, and sometimes I mess up a lot, and as long as I am honest and upfront about it, we can deal with it.

After a bit I sat up and pulled my panties up, and we sat on the couch for a few minutes and he held me and we talked some more.  Eventually we got up and made our way back to the rest of the party.  Glad that my punishment was over, I went about challenging him with looks, eye rolls, and other similar things until he finally just sent me into the room off the main socializing room, and spanked me until I stopped giggling…unfortunately for my bottom and thighs, it took a trip or two across his lap.

It also earned me two extra cane strokes.  The caning came later and was straightforward and uneventful.  Thankfully, he used a less severe cane than the thick one from Paddles a few weeks ago, but it still stung like crazy.

On a side note: life is looking a bit up, I’ve found an apartment, and Thanksgiving is tomorrow (er….today).  I will make a post later in the day or tomorrow with a bit more about the last week or so.

- Marie

I like spankings.  Love them, really.  While I can definitely get enough of spanking at one time, I always seem to want more almost as soon as the first one is over.  Knowing this, Mistress and I discussed the idea of punishment spanking early on in our relationship.  We’d both agreed, in principle, that it was totally possible to make such a fun activity into an unpleasant one.  Now we were going to put it to the test.

Mistress put me on my hands and knees, not the most comfortable position for me to maintain…and very far away from her.  My favorite spankings are when I’m across her lap, able to put my hands on her legs and feel her under me.  Having no physical contact changed the atmosphere immediately, and I already felt like a naughty boy, and not in the fun sense of the word.

She asked if I needed a warm up, and I declined…partly because I knew that’d make it hurt more, and the effects last longer.  It hurt, and as predicted not in a warm fuzzy way.  The first couple smacks with the flat of the hairbrush were bad enough to make me catch my breath, and even though Mistress rubbed me it didn’t take away the burn.  She spaced out the blows so I felt the full effect of each of them, and I was grunting and squeaking in no time.

I was also feeling sobs welling, and that’s something I’ve only felt once before during a spanking.

About this point, Mistress started asking me questions.  I honestly can’t remember her exact words or even the real flow of the conversation…but she was guiding me through a litany of sorts.  Asking me (I think…) why I was being spanked, if I understood why, what I was going to do about it.  She was gentle, and when at one point I told her I didn’t know what the right answer was she just rubbed my ass and told me what she was looking for, and I agreed to it readily after she spanked me again.

I think it was this call and answer routine that actually coaxed the tears out.  I didn’t break down and start crying…but my throat was uncomfortable thick, I was trembling, and sobs were catching in some of my replies.  I had tears welling, and I think one or two did drip down my cheek before Mistress was done.  I almost wished the dam would break…but it didn’t happen, and I’m not sure why.  Maybe things weren’t quite intense enough for that.

Not even during the grand finale, after Mistress had heard the answers she wanted from me and she started spanking me rapidly.  I was crying out, shifting, taken aback by how intense the pain was.  A long pause, and some rubbing, and she told me I was finished.  I immediate curled into her lap, sobbing a little and a few tears leaking out.  It took a little while for my trembling to stop, and my breath would hitch a few times before I got Mistress home, but I already felt lighter.

Honestly, I felt a little like I was floating.  The headspace Mistress put me in was incredible…it wasn’t exactly a happy place because of why I was there, but it was a clean place.  I didn’t have the weight of my guilt over the money, or the fear of what could happen if I didn’t get things straightened out stinking up my mind.  I didn’t feel like a failure anymore, I simply felt I’d make a mistake that could be taken care of.  I felt a little sheepish for needing the correction, but I did feel corrected.  I’d been called out on my behavior, and promised my Mistress I’d fix it.  It made an incredible difference in my state of mind and my outlook on the problem.

Revisiting it in my mind has been enough to make me a little teary all over, and to feel incredibly grateful to be with my Mistress.  The fact she didn’t hesitate to agree to my request, and managed to punish me in a way that made it her own (and not simply a fantasy fulfillment situation) is just amazing.  While I hopefully don’t need many of these spankings, knowing she has this sort of power over me is comforting.

In short, I’m very thankful for my Mistress.  For this spanking, and dozens of other reasons.  Happy Thanksgiving, all you kinky kids.

dogs are supposed to be mans best friend, our companions, guardians, and just a pet to love and play with.

then why are mine so stubborn? i began to trust kintaro, the japanese chin, in living outside the kennel when i’m not home. he did a great job twice in a row and i began to think more highly of him. but sadly they both disappointed me… TWICE!

the first time is when i was gone for a good hour. i went to target to see what their black friday specials were going to be then i headed to the pet store to pick up their pet food. i pick the brand called blue buffalo. it is the bet dog good you can get because it doesn’t have anything bad in it for them and it is high in standards. but do they appreciate it? nope, they rather have something unhealthy, full of salt and sugar for flavor then a controled diet. it is like 16-17 dollars per small bag!!!

when i came home they decided, once again to chew on the cleaning sponge, and to chew on the handle of my bathroom scrubber. what goes through their head when they see stuff that i don’t give them personally as a toy. do they do it out of expression? i don’t know… i was gone in school for 5 hours and nothing bad happened. i leave for an hour and they chew my things. they’ve done this before to and it pisses me off! i had to yell, scream, shove their nose in what they did wrong, hit them in the head. all negative reenforcement should bring upon fear of what they do not want to associate with. it does bring fear but they still fuck up. its like they forget or something. i know thats not the case because if they can hide when they know i am pissed, then they can remember not to do wrong!

so i put them in the kennel for 2 hours. thats reasonable enough. usually it would have been all night with no potty break. i gave them their potty break and even decided to give them their toy i bought them. a long soft and squeaky snake. they like the toys they can chew and that make noise. but was that enough? of course not, they had to go through the trash and smell out old food and eat it. there had 2/3 a subway m&m cookie they consumed and it’s always a duo deal. i dont’ care or who knows who starts it, mainly its kintaro, i barely had problems with lil bit as a solo dog, but it doesn’t matter they know not to dig in the trash, i beat their ass before and they know it. lil bit whines and goes into super submissive i will try and bite you mode if you try and grab me though i am wrong i don’t like to be hit attitude. kintaro just hides under the table, ignores me when i call, which is a no-no since it makes me more pissed when they don’t come.

so i yelled at them. through their heads in the garbage bag, which is soft and the only hard thing is the cardboard box, then i showed them the cookie they ate and rubbed their face it in. then off to the kennel they went.

they shall receive one bathroom break in the morning, no meal or water till i get back home. if they want to eat garbage, they can eat their own shit! i want them to be starving to eat their normal food and appreciate the fact that it is good for them and expensive. they should know better, especially lil bit.

ugh! this post was supposed to be a lively one, not one of frustration and me getting pissed. oh well…. maybe next post

Clearly, strategic planning is no panacea. Strategic planning is simply a set of concepts, procedures, and tools designed to help leaders, managers, and planners think and act strategically. Used in wise and skillful ways by a “coalition of the willing,” strategic planning can help organizations focus on producing effective decisions and actions that further the organization’s mission, meet in mandates, and satisfy key stakeholders. But strategic planning is not a substitute for strategic thinking and acting. Only caring and committed people can do that. And when used thoughtlessly, strategic planning can actually drive out precisely the kind of strategic thought and action it is supposed to promote.

Furthermore, strategic planning is not a substitute for leadership. There is simply no substitute for leadership when it comes to using strategic planning to enhance organizational performance. At least some key decision makers and process champions must be committed to the strategic planning process, or any attempts to use it are bound to fail.

In addition, strategic planning is not synonymous with creating an organizational strategy. Organizational strategies have numerous sources, both planned and unplanned. Strategic planning is likely to result in statement of organizational intentions, but what is realized in practice will be some combination of what is intended and what emerges along the way. Strategic planning can help organizations develop and implement effective strategies, but they should also remain open to unforeseen opportunities. Too much attention to strategic planning and excessive reverence for strategic plans can build organizations to other unplanned and unexpected—yet incredibly useful—sources of information, insight, and action.

The discipline necessary for strategic planning can be of two sorts. The first harkens back to Latin root of the word “discipline,” emphasizing instruction, training, education, and learning. The second embodies later interpretations of the word, emphasizing order, control, and punishment. Emphasis should be placed on education and learning, although there clearly are occasions when imposing order, taking control, and enforcing appropriate sanctions are appropriate. Certainly, key leaders, managers, and planners can best use strategic planning as an educational and learning tool, to help them figure out what is really important and what should be done about it. Sometimes this means following a particular sequence of steps and preparing formal strategic plans, but not necessarily. The ultimate goal of strategic planning should not be a rigid adherence to a particular process or an instance on the production of plans. Instead, strategic planning should promote wise strategic thought and action on behalf of an organization and its key stakeholders. What steps to follow, in what sequence, and whether or not to prepare formal plans are subsidiary concerns.

My Consultancy–Asif J. Mir - Management Consultant–transforms organizations where people have the freedom to be creative, a place that brings out the best in everybody–an open, fair place where people have a sense that what they do matters. For details please visit www.asifjmir.com, and my Lectures.

…but Best Buy?

Check it:

“Okay, so Best Buy doesn’t advertise Christmas. So what? They don’t advertise Hanukkah either. Or Kwanzaa either. How else would they avoid offending people who don’t celebrate Christmas?”

Ah, good point, loyal blog readers. First, I must state that everyone I’ve ever met that DOESN’T celebrate Christmas is NOT offended when people tell them “Merry Christmas”. I celebrate Christmas; and when (and it happens) someone says “Happy Hanukkah!” to ME, I’m not offended. Why would I be? The only ones who would be offended by any Christ loving individuals are those who are hellbent on destroying the INFIDELS. Who is that? Oh, why the Muslim Islamic Extremists!

“So what does this have to do with Best Buy?”

Good question. Have a look at THIS:

“What the fuck is Eid-al-Adha?!” Well, I’ll tell ya.

Eid-al-Adha is “Festival of Sacrifice”; a holiday celebrated by Muslims. Eid al-Adha occurs the day after the pilgrims conducting Hajj, the annual pilgrimage to Mecca in Saudi Arabia by Muslims worldwide, descend from Mount Arafat. It happens to be approximately 70 days after the end of the month of Ramadan. Best Buy won’t mention any OTHER “holiday” in order to avoid being offensive… Oh, except for the Muslim holiday. Now that a Muslim lives in the White House; I guess it’s okay. But wait! They didn’t advertise Christmas when we’ve had Christian presidents, did they? NEIN.

Okay. So now that you know what THAT bullshit is all about; have a look at our P Resident of the United States of America:

BHussein on Ramadan (another Muslim Holiday):

Watch as he wishes a blessed Ramadan to Muslims in and outside of the United States. He also mentions “swine flu” and how it’s a concern for those making the hajj pilgrimage this year.

It’s no secret that he was born a Muslim, raised a Muslim, and still stands strong in his Muslim beliefs. He bends over backwards trying to appease his Muslim brothers; even those who have carried out massive acts of terrorism. (See also KSM, GITMO prisoners, and the way he licks the asscrack of the Islamic terrorists who are attacking OUR BROTHERS and our ALLI, Israel.) Sure, he “says” he’s a Christian; but he’s not fooling anyone with a triple digit I.Q.

BHussein doesn’t celebrate Christmas. Well, he does when the media is looking. When he thinks America is looking, but if you read between the lines; it’s crystal clear.

Obama leaves the gifting to Santa
Article: Politico

Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) tells People magazine in the issue out Friday that he and his wife, Michelle, do not give Christmas or birthday presents to their two young daughters.

Obama tells the magazine’s Sandra Sobieraj Westfall in a seven-page cover story that he and his wife follow the unusual practice because they “want to teach some limits.”

Sure, BarryO. You want to teach your little punishment and your little mistake some “limits”. Nobody buys it. We know you don’t celebrate Christmas because you don’t believe in God. Jesus Christ. Funny thing is, Marxists and Muslims don’t celebrate birthdays or Christmas either. I suppose since you’re doing your best to make America a Socialist and Marxist nation; Best Buy figured they’d jump right on it.

Freudian slip, much?

Get your UFC 106 Walkout Tee’s, Great Deals on SilverStar (only $25.95) and Punishment Athletics ($29.99).

I set my alarm on my phone for 8am last night even though Master was sure that I would not wake up to it nor even hear it through my ear plugs and settled into bed. Just as I was about 15mins away from having to turn the lights out and put my book away for the night, the cramps struck. Not the light warning cramps that I expected yesterday before my period started but the full blown, curl up in a fetal position and try to embed a heating pad into my poor aching ovaries kind of cramps. So instead of turning off the lights I stayed up for a couple more hours reading, hoping they would fade and allow me to sleep.

When I finally did turn the lights out and snuggle my back against Master, He woke up. As He wrapped His arms around me, He whispered into my ear “This is definitely not 11pm”

Ooops.

I explained about the sudden cramping, that I’d just taken some ibuprofen and had plugged in the heating pad but even to me it sounded like a weak excuse instead of a reason.

This morning I actually woke up to my alarm (ah ha told ya I would!) and rolled out of bed almost in a good mood. I shall contribute this to the fact that I was finally getting my hair sorted today even though I am not normally interested in girly type things. I do love my hair though and I love even more how much Master adores my hair so I tend to look forward to when I get to pamper it, knowing how much better it will look afterward. My poor hair has been trying to run away from me for a couple months now, I’ve pulled disgusting amounts of hair out of both bathroom drains and my hair brush so its high time to reign it back in.

After I got up I made Master His lunch for work today and sat around with Him while He got ready. I even got a kiss before He left for work! I got myself ready to head out, making sure I took an umbrella because it was randomly pissing down rain today and then happily fucked off to town with my MP3 player turned up loud. I love being able to walk around with just my music to keep me company because I’m at the mercy of nothing and no one besides my curiosity, which we all know is quite epic. As much as I enjoy my walks with Master, its still so much more relaxing with just myself since I can stop and wander when and where I like without the niggling knowledge in the back of my mind that He would rather be at home lol. What can I say, I’m a slave in all ways and His happiness is always in the forefront, even more so when He is near me.

I got to the hair salon with a few minutes to spare so I stepped outside for a smoke and called my bestest gay friend JH who moved over here to the UK before I did and married himself a nice man. I’d forgotten about JH’s #1 rule: Does not wake up before noon! I felt bad that I’d woken him up but when I told him I was getting married he seemed to forgive me. When I asked if he would be willing to give me away since my dad more than likely won’t make it, after the typical “OHMYGAWD REALLY!!??” squeal, I believe I have been fully forgiven I luffs my fag and would be so happy if he could do this for me.

The lady who cut my hair, A, was amazing! She barely took any off the entire length but she got all my layers in the right place and even thinned it a bit (I have super thick Italian hair thanks to my dad) so now my curls form better even on the longest bits in the back! I was very pleased and it only cost me 16£ since there was no wash and style, just a trim. Since I have curly hair, I can’t have it cut wet otherwise it just totally fucks it up.

Now the other day when Master and I were out walking around town, I found the most perfect purse in the most unexpected store. It reminds me of a laptop bag in the shape, rectangle with a large flap and pockets with a long adjustable strap I can sling over one shoulder crosswise and on the flap it has like a million little anarchy symbols! I only had 30£ set aside for my hair cut since I didn’t know how much it was going to cost so Master told me I could either get the purse or the hair cut. I chose the hair cut since I NEED that. Today with the hair cut costing less than expected I was hoping I might still have enough for the purse but I was still 10£ off so instead I went and picked up His xmas present.

Besides, He had told me I was not allowed to go look at the purse before or after my hair cut and I was not feeling brave enough to defy this order since I have already racked up my remaining 40 lashes to 80 again. Something about trying to barter away my remaining punishment earned me 20 more and today when I had the misfortune of being stuck watching this gawd awful water color painting program. I said that should be punishment enough…and therefor earned myself another 20. So I’m back up to 80. Master is too stressed from work and His cunt eye boss to dole out my remaining lashes just yet, not wanting to be focused on His anger at cunt eye is probably a good idea when punishing me even if the pain slut in me says “ooooooooo go ahead!”. So I have 80 more lashes to look forward to this weekend sometime.

Tonight was the most scrummy dinner ever! Venison steaks om nom nom nom! I have never had venison steaks before but fuck me was it good! Normally Master gets my remaining dinner bits because I never seem to finish a whole plate but tonight I was all but baring my teeth and growling at His curious looks. My fucking steak! Grrrr! Now I am going to have a nice irish coffee, hand this post off to Master for proof reading and then fuck off to bed because I am tired.

It has been suggested that man has been born unto this world because it is God’s punishment for our disobedience. It is said that we were originally created as spirit to be companions for God, but were placed in this material world and born into flesh until we can find our way back to Him. It is also said that we will repeat this cycle of birth and rebirth until we have overcome our karma. The wicked shall be born into lower life forms and the righteous shall be rewarded with splendor?

To this I say, how can we call this a punishment? We are given companions in all forms of life. We are given the green Earth, the rolling hills, the majestic mountains and the enigmatic clouds. We are given the vast oceans and food in abundance. We are given the music of nature and the songs of thousands of birds and insects. We are given the warmth of the sun, and the changing seasons to remind us of all of the gifts that have been bestowed upon us. All these things we are given, and yet we call this a punishment.

Ungrateful are they who wish their life away. Ungrateful are they who turn their back others. Ungrateful are they who waste and horde. Ungrateful are they who take advantage of the weak. Ungrateful are they who would enslave their brothers and sisters. Ungrateful are they who would call this a punishment.

Life is only a punishment if we make it a punishment. Life is only uncaring if we choose to be uncaring. Life is only cold if we choose hate. Life is what we make it. So whether some choose to see this existence as a punishment or a blessing, I choose to see this life as an expression of God’s love for us all. For if God is God, surely He would have better things to do than to punish His own creation.

It has been suggested that man has been born unto this world because it is God’s punishment for our disobedience. It is said that we were originally created as spirit to be companions for God, but were placed in this material world and born into flesh until we can find our way back to Him. It is also said that we will repeat this cycle of birth and rebirth until we have overcome our karma. The wicked shall be born into lower life forms and the righteous shall be rewarded with splendor?

To this I say, how can we call this a punishment? We are given companions in all forms of life. We are given the green Earth, the rolling hills, the majestic mountains and the enigmatic clouds. We are given the vast oceans and food in abundance. We are given the music of nature and the songs of thousands of birds and insects. We are given the warmth of the sun, and the changing seasons to remind us of all of the gifts that have been bestowed upon us. All these things we are given, and yet we call this a punishment.

Ungrateful are they who wish their life away. Ungrateful are they who turn their back on others. Ungrateful are they who waste and horde. Ungrateful are they who take advantage of the weak. Ungrateful are they who would enslave their brothers and sisters. Ungrateful are they who would call this a punishment.

Life is only a punishment if we make it a punishment. Life is only uncaring if we choose to be uncaring. Life is only cold if we choose to hate. Life is what we make it. So whether some choose to see this existence as a punishment or a blessing, I choose to see this life as an expression of God’s love for us all. For if God is God, surely He would have better things to do than to punish His own creation.

So when you look at your life what do you see or feel is missing or is there something you want to change about your life.  Maybe you’re stuck in old energy or thoughts or think that if you leave a relationship you won’t be able to make it on your own.

Could be that you just have a feeling that something is wrong and that possibly you’ve been looking in the wrong area of your life to try to fix something and it has nothing to do with what you thought it was at all.

A lot of times we get stuck in our lives and we’re not sure where we should start to look.  Some of us look at our mates and say.  “It’s their fault I feel terrible.”    When it is really something about us that is the real culprit to life seeming hard or relationships a real pain to be in.

When we look inside to try to understand and ‘fix’ our lives there is so much that has gone on in our lives that we can’t sift through all the history.  This history is comprised of emotions, judgements, punishment and dis-ease and  way to much to truly understand what it is all about.

To be able to wade our way through all of this history requires a lot of work.  Some of us journal our way to understanding ourselves and moving on beyond the life we’ve lived so far.  Others go to counselors to work through our baggage.   Suggestions and tools become our way of fixing our selves.

Another way is to actually look at the energy system that surrounds the energy body and find the energetic pictures, emotions and experiences that make up who we are.  We are a product of every thing that we see, feel, hear, touch, and smell.  We create our belief systems on other’s beliefs.  Making it hard to really understand who we are and what exactly we are experiencing.

After many years we begin to shut down.  We decide that what we have right now is enough.  And the years slide by in the same patterns, and depression and disbelief.

When we decide that we don’t have to live in old belief patterns and emotions we can really shift our life.  Instead of being the product of our past we can be the creator of our future by actively looking for change.

Get a reading and healing on the blocks in your energy system and live the life you came to live this lifetime.

Sometimes I wish I could let yesterday go up in smoke so there wouldn’t be any remnants of it, and then when I think of doing just that I realize all of what I am today comes from who I was yesterday. Those things of the past allowed me to have the experiences I have this moment…no matter how hard it was to go thru. So, let me focus on things I can change in this moment.

This is what I choose:

1. Instead of acting out of hurt, I choose to pray for someone whom I love that hurts me greatly.
2. Instead of acting out destructively to punish myself in some sort of fashion or way, I choose to treat myself with loving kindness as if I were someone else…not just someone who hurts or who feels like I am “bad.”
3. Instead of trying to stuff down the pain, I choose to feel it and let it go through the stages of grief, so I can move past the hurt and pain.
4. Instead of looking back, I choose to look forward and focus on what is happening this moment, so I don’t overwhelm myself with could have been or should have been.
5. Instead of me feeling ungrateful for the chance to love my loved ones, I can feel grateful I can choose to love beyond what another chooses for her/his life.
6. Instead of me defining myself on what happens, I choose to define myself by my character, the values and beliefs I uphold, and the love I have to freely give.
7. Instead of hating, I choose to have love for another even though I am hurt.

This and the nanny job have almost identical patterns. It is again the story of a parent who pretends to care for his child who will be in Montreal for a short period of time. If the nanny case involves a little child, the tutoring scam involves an older person. Notice the hotel element (apparently those who are behind these scams have difficulties in making a hotel reservation!), the tone and the sentence structure used. The scammer is also confused when it comes to explaining the schedule for these “lessons”.

4 times a week, for 1 “hours” a day (9am-12pm), Monday-Tuesday…

So, beware and stay safe!

http://www.eslteachersboard.com/cgi-bin/scamalerts/index.pl?read=638

*DO NOT REPLY TO THE SCAM EMAIL BELOW*  If you receive such an email, delete it. ————————————————————– ———- Forwarded message ———- From: Max Sxxx Date: Tue, Nov 24, 2009 at 8:28 AM Subject: lesson and tutor Hello Teacher, I am Dr max 49 years old, i m currently working in Montreal Canada on a contract base , I read your advert on Craigslist.org and i am really impressed and Interested in your lessons. I need a good Lessons Teacher for my only Daughter (Barbra) and i came across your advertisement on Craigslist when am searching through the Internet. My daughter (Barbra) will be coming down to your location, in 2 weeks time for vacation and i don’t want her to be less busy without doing something, and I have make decision that she should be attending your lessons. Barbra is 19 years old, she love swimming for fun, So she will be coming for 1 hours a day (9am to 12pm) 4times a week or at your lecture period, so i need you to calculate the cost for 4 weeks lessons and i will want us to make an arrangement for a good Hotel for her in your area where she will be staying for the period of the vacations. And let me know if i can make subsequent amount to show commitment in this lessons, she will be coming for lessons 4 times a week which is (Monday -Thursday) If you are interested in Tutor my Daughter,… Kindly get back to me with this information bellow…. * Your Experienced In It………….. * Charge for an Hour * Chage for a day…………………… * Total Charges for 4 weeks………. * Full Name…………………….. ……… * Home Address……………………… * City……………………………………….. * Zip Code………………………………. * Phone Number……………………. i will be looking foward to hear from you ASAP thanks Regards Dr max ———————————————————

Picking up something new always presents us with brick walls to overcome, and this case (a blog – I have always disliked that word) is no different.  Formatting and design issues aside, outfitting this new piece of web real estate with informative, insightful, and interesting links was it’s own challenge.

To put it bluntly, there is an alarming shortage of quality information on the behavior and (proper) training of animals other than dogs.  I think this is actually an honest reflection of both the astounding popularity of dogs and the growing need to learn to live with them (as opposed to cats, who are, by and large, seen as a lower maintenance companion – which is also by and large untrue).  As for horses, most horse enthusiasts fall into one of two main categories: Those who use horses for pleasure, and those who use them for work.  Far fewer are the lovers of equines who choose a horse as a companion, after all, it’s much harder to bring a horse on a nice walk in the park, or inside to sit with you by a warm fire.

Even more disturbing is the maddeningly slow pace at which equestrians have evolved from old wives tales and word-of-mouth mythos into science and sound reasoning with regards to working with and understanding horses.  There are plenty of resources on the web for those who need help gaining “dominance” over their mounts, or are looking for fresh ways to punish unwanted behavior.  There is no shortage of experts willing to give advice on which bits to use to control an unruly horse, or when the rider should man up and show the horse who is boss.  Meanwhile, over in the dog savvy world of training and behavior modification, more and more people are moving confidently away from these age old traditions and confrontational methods of communicating with their companions, and leading the way are dozens and dozens of PhD-wielding, behavior science-educated experts of their fields of study.

Lets hope the cat enthusiasts and horse lovers of the world sit up and take note, for while the changes are slow in coming, lo they are a’coming. You can’t trump science.