A bill to legalize same-sex marriage just failed in the New York State Senate, 38-24.

The tags say it all, really.

(The Awl/NYT)

Oh, and by the way:

This picture was in STUPENDOUS taste, folks. Really classy.

Winds of Change

Three years, one profession, two companies, two fields of practice, numerous reports, hundreds of issues, 100 officemates, hundreds of thousands of income but where am I now? I don’t know.

Just recently, my name got longer again by three letters, apart from being a Certified Public Accountant, I am now a Certified Internal Auditor. But, what has changed after gaining another certification? Not much, not a promotion, not even a pay raise, only a longer name. Don’t get me wrong for I am not complaining, I am just looking for something, a place where I can find happiness, fulfillment and prosperity all at the same time.

“The wind is always blowing on your direction”, a friend once told me. Well, life has been very good to me, and I’ve always been so thankful for it. I was able to enter one of the country’s most prestigious university, I got into the most sought after program, I graduated with good grades and passed the so-called most difficult board examination in just one take, so yes, life has been very good to me but I’m not saying that I have a perfect life, I know there are others out there who are more blessed than I am, and they might react on this article, but I digress. I too have my own fair share of difficulties and hardships but only a few or maybe no one among my fellows saw those things.

But as I entered the concrete jungle of the real world, life wasn’t that good anymore but again the people around me didn’t see that. How will they notice such, when I received a call from the country’s most respected auditing firm four hours after being enlisted as a professional, how? They didn’t know how hard it is to prove one’s self, to establish who you are in the business world when you are just at the beginning of your career and you are nothing but a mere dot at the bottom of the food chain. Other people will only see that you took an out of town trip, that your closet is full, that there’s a more than a dozen of shoe boxes kept under you bed but what you’ve gone through and what you’re going through? No, most people don’t know that, they don’t know the thigns you had to go through.

I never was a bum, I am gainfully employed before reaching 21 and that was also the time when I began experiencing the bittersweet taste of life in the real world. From being a high school Queen Bee, I am now an “Ass”ociate, working my ass up to wee hours in the morning to fix the financials of clients. I don’t give orders anymore, I take them and I am paid to follow them, whether I like it or not. I must surrender to the pointless demands of the boss. I must listen to whatever it is she has to say for after six months, I’ll be at her mercy, whether to be kicked out or remain as an “Ass”ociate, I remained as an “Ass”ociate. After, tremendous adjustments and numerous sacrifices, judgment day came, this time the wind didn’t blew my way, it was so against me that it almost break me, no one knew for I need to put a face, a strong face, a defense mechanism. So I left, companies left and right we’re calling but offers weren’t that lucrative ’til one company called up for an interview and before the day ended, I’m hired. I’ll begin in less than two weeks, I was also shocked. Is the wind blowing towards my direction once again? I thought so but no it’s not, for here I am writing this blog, ’cause I’m not doing anything. Maybe, I should be blamed for I work too fast? But why too fast? It is because this is a pencil pushing 8-hour job that is not putting my skills into its best use. It is insulting everyday, my name is too long for what I am doing, call me conceited but that is how I feel, I am too good for this.

Am I fighting destiny? Maybe, this is not where I am supposed to be that’s why the wind seems to be against me or there is a lesson I need to learn. I’m not saying that I hate bosses and taking orders, I know that’s how the cycle goes and we need to learn by under going such cycle neither am I biting the hand that is feeding me, it pays my bills and takes me to places but I need a purpose, something worthy of my time, something that could make me feel proud of myself that I was able to put into use those two certifications that I worked so hard to attain, is that too much to ask?

Maybe, tomorrow the wind will blow my way once again, I’m not losing hope. Maybe, tomorrow I’ll receive the call that can give me happiness, fulfillment and prosperity.

“Lord, help me keep the faith that one day the wind will once again blow my direction, that I’ll be able to find fulfillment in my career, happiness for myself and prosperity. Anyway, thank you for this job.”

One of the things that I’ll be forever grateful for my Alma Mater, the University of Santo Tomas is that apart from equipping me with the technical competence in my field, it also brought me closer to God, it strengthen my faith and made me understand more what a true christian is.

Imbued with unending grace

“The university affirms its role in the formation of men and women to become competent and compassionate professionals committed to the service of the Church, the nation and the global community.”

The University’s mission as paraphrased by my Theology professor is, to bring to the church into whatever field of profession the student chooses. We have our own strengths and weaknesses, some are good in numbers, some excel in writing, some are gifted with passion for the preservation of culture, some are good speakers, some are very good in computers, all these various strengths and weaknesses are given by God. But it is for us to determine which we are good at, how we can further improve those innate qualities, how we’re going to use it and how we’ll use it to serve God, the one who gave it to us.

Serving God doesn’t only mean entering priesthood or being in the nunnery, we can serve him by remaining to be professionals, by pursuing our lifelong dream, we can bring the Church to the profession we choose by being Christ-centered accountants, engineers, doctors, nurses, teachers, lawyers and so on. We can choose the means on how we are going to serve HIM for as long as the end is, bringing back the glory to HIM.

God gifts us with the abilities and the discernment to find out what we can do best, so in return let’s give back to HIM by serving HIM through those gifts, the cycle goes on. Imagine what kind of world we’re going to have if we all follow the cycle.

With the release of Wale’s debut album Attention Deficit and Drake not missing a step as his buzz grows larger, their feels like a void from a particular Man on the Moon who hasn’t been in the light as heavily lately.

Kid Cudi, however, is springing himself back into the forefront as he is gearing up to release the visual to “Pursuit of Happiness” from his own debut which dropped back in September.

The visual is directed by Brody Baker and produced by actor Josh Hartnett. 

Recently being accompanied by Drake during a show in Toronto, as well as linking up with Lady Gaga, the kid from Cleveland has been heavy on his touring and establishing himself on the road.

Taking a quick break from stage performances, Cudi was able to catch up with MTV and give a glimpse into the music video in progress.

“I just saw the first rough cut the other day. Drake is in it. He has a cameo … a bunch of my homies that I knew coming up.”

Clearly fame hasn’t gotten to his head as he is still able to embrace those that he came up with him and is willing to bring them along for the flight as he makes the climb to his own success. 

“We were just kicking it. When you see the video, it just makes me feel good, because I’m seeing all my friends and people that matter in my life. We were all celebrating. It’s like a New Year’s Eve-type thing. Everybody’s just getting wasted.”

Now what’s a party without a little alcohol to set everything in motion?

Along with touring with Lady Gaga, the young rapper also finished the filming on the first season of his new series on HBO titled, How to Make It In America.  Cudi stated that he will play a character named Domingo Dean who will be good friends with the main characters of the show.  His role, as stated by him, is definitely serving as the comic relief.

The actual show revolves around two young entrepreneurs who are in the pursuit of their own happiness and find a means to hustle their way to achieve the American dream. 

Cudi is also already back in the studio ready to bring a second dose of music as he is working on Cudder which is slated to be a collabo album.  So far, Snoop Dogg and Travis Barker have accepted the invite and he is currently waiting on word from the likes of Green Day and Kings of Leon.

Efter den senaste veckans tanklöshet är jag återigen fattig som en idiot. Jag har spenderat mina pengar på de mest meningslösa sakerna och önskar att jag hade kunnat spola tillbaka tiden så att jag kan obegå alla mina misstag.

Lite om helgen kanske: (en superkort version finns i slutet, om du inte vill läsa allt)
i fredags var jag på tonår och skrev tillsammans med söta Maria en ny vers till UVs Lucia på tisdag. Den blev otroligt bra och vi är nöjda som tuppen!
Efter tonår stack vi till Max igen. Jag måste verkligen sluta upp med det! (En av mina fattig- och tjockhetsanledningar) Men det är alltid trevligt att umgås!
I vanlig ordning blev det sedan fika hemma hos mig. När vi kom dit var mamma och massa jobbarkompisar där så här snackar vi livat.

En god och lång natts sömn fick jag innan vi skulle åka till Bredaryd och för att fira mormors pensionering med en middag på Bambu. Bussen kom dit 100 minuter för tidigt så vi gick in på Smålänningens Marknad och Bredaryds Möbler en stund. Jag beställde “Bambus Super Buffé” (ja, det står så på deras meny). Det skulle jag inte har gjort. Fy f*n va mycket jag åt! F*n! Allvarligt, jag måste ha problem alltså… Bunkrar mitt psyke upp inför vintern eller? (tjockhetssanledning)
Hem en timma och sen åka tillbaka till Bredaryd igen för att basta hos Pettsson. Apelsin, clementin och läsk i magen, och hårinpackning i håret gör susen en kall höstkväll. Efteråt blev det lite pizza (måttlig mängd, faktiskt!) och film. Ante och Maria drog därifrån vid elva så jag låg på golvet och Albin låg i sin säng och halvsov/tittade på Air Force One fram till halv ett. Somnade trött så in i h*lv*t* när jag somnade vid två.

Söndag då… Hmm… Sova, spela spel, pussla, spela kort, fika (tjockhetsanledning), shoppa skor med Oskar och jag råkar köpa fem filmer själv (fattighetsanledning). Smördegsinbakad fläskfilé med gräddstuvade champinjoner och ungsbakade potatisklyftor till middag (tjockhetsanledning) och spela massa spel och kort igen. Till sist tittade jag på filmen ovan, Princess of Thieves, den var faktiskt rätt bra. Nedan är alla de andra filmerna jag köpte igår (de med prince/princess var i en box för 99 kr).

I korthet: En destruktiv och lat helg…

Another wonderful installment in Maira Kalman’s “pursuit of happiness” series. Slow down, you move too fast… and be happy.

(But I still agree with Mr. Clemens: young people should not be pessimists.)

Where is happiness?
What motivates each day?

Don’t quote me Scripture.
Don’t quote me platitudes.
Cliches bring apathy here.

What gives you and I the ambition to carry out the pointless requirements of the day?

Do I live only strive for the purposed duties and ignore all others? As a student, this policy is fateful.

The search of what I am fighting for…

I’ll tell you in 60 years.

Two Cents’  Worth in the Nickel City
Common Ground

.
Relocating from the U.S. to Canada is an adjustment and a test, not only in attitude but in thinking. I have to admit my knowledge of the Great White North is limited. As I venture out I am stricken by the similarities and the contrasts to Florida, where I am from.  You have Walmart, Mc Donalds, Shell gasoline and Sears. We don’t have Canadian Tire, Tim Horton’s, Petro Canada or Zeller’s.  In  Florida we have palm trees,  straight, flat landscapes and miles of white, sandy beaches.  In Ontario you have maple trees, winding, hilly streets and miles of dark, jagged rocks. You have vast blue skies, fiery sunsets and seagulls.  We have vast blue skies, fiery sunsets and… seagulls. Hmm, what do these birds know that I do not?  Common ground.

.
This past winter was the first time since 1971 that the entire Canadian landscape enjoyed a white Christmas. People here say it was for my benefit. One of the most frequent expressions I have heard since I have arrived here is, “It’s not too bad outside” contrary to what you might hear further south, “It’s friggin’ colder than a well digger’s ass ”.  I don’t know if that makes Canadians tougher than Floridians, maybe they just take it in stride. I have been on the beach in Florida in January and heard visitors from up North complain of it being cold at 50 degrees F.  Cold is cold, no matter how you feel about it.

.
I am also told I have an accent. I’ve maintained my Mid-western drawl but embellished it with a southern “ya’ll” that kind of meshes into a Mid-west/southern “golly gee willickers.”.  Generally I look like most Canadians do, but when I start speaking I get the “You must be from the States, eh?”.   Most people cannot believe I would re-locate from sunny Florida to the frigid North. Usually they get a glossy- eyed expression and ask the inevitable, “WHY DID YOU DO IT?”  But I just smile.

.
One thing I did marvel at that probably would not have happened in the United States was while my wife and I were shopping in a liquor store buying wine. There was music being piped in over the intercom that I wasn’t really paying attention to until I heard, Sweet Little Shoe by Jesse Winchester. Canada was his adopted home for a number of years and when I recalled that, all my apprehensions swiftly dissolved away. I knew I could make a home here with that sort of recommendation. In fact, there is a virtual treasure trove of Canadian artists I might never have heard of (and some that I have) had I not relocated here… which kinda sweetens the deal.

.
It will test my mettle, I have no doubt.  But I do it for love and that is the soundest, most relevant motive I can think of. I do it with humility and good old fashioned Yankee ingenuity, along with the unwavering support of my beautiful girl… which makes any test worthwhile.

Something is different in my brain today – I’m not sure why.  I know that sounds ominous but it isn’t.

It is very strange really.  I was listening to Bob Marley, thinking about life, and started thinking about maybe it was time to get into shape and consider dating again.  Usually that takes way more years than this.

My last boyfriend and I broke up on Fourth of July in 2004.  That is a mere five years ago.  Normally it is six to nine years between boyfriends – no reason to rush into something else, ya know?

It isn’t that it takes me that long to get over the person – god knows I’m usually well over them before we finally breakup.  It takes me that long to even consider going through the rituals of dating again.  Dating takes so much out of me…yes, I’m strange.  I have to spend time compromising, thinking of someone elses feelings on a more intimate level, giving up my personal time to spend time with someone else…etc…it is exhausting. 

So now that I’m thinking about dating again – it will take me about a year to actually get to the point of meeting someone.  I will have to work at getting back into shape, getting some stuff I need to do first out of the way, and getting myself in the correct mindset.  It is almost like taking on another job.

I don’t have any expectations of marriage or anything remotely like that.  I know I have a lot of porcupine needles for someone to deal with and I’m also not big on long-term committments…I’ve never met anyone who changed my mind about that either.

But it is strange to be thinking this way again after so many years of not.  Really am not going to rush anything – it is just a miniscule spark of a thought in a sea of thoughts.

There has been a lot of talk about happiness lately.  One night on World News Tonight with Charles Gibson, he shared a study that indicated that as women age they get unhappier, while the reverse is true for men.  It was stated that women concentrate on career and having a family and once that is essentially behind them, they become unhappier as life goes by.  I have heard of studies that indicate men are happier being married, while the reverse is true for women.   Researchers have been looking at country happiness and the US was not the happiest of them all.  I state this not to agree or disagree (though I disagree that I am getting unhappier as I get older – it’s been quite the opposite).

For more than three years now, I have really been soaking up research, articles, books, blogs, interviews about positive psychology, happiness, courage, and resiliency.  It’s been a fascinating journey for me.  As someone who has been to therapists for various reasons (after college, after my divorce, etc.), I have spent plenty of time looking back.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with looking back to understand your present, but eventually you need to start looking forward.  Positive psychology has been that catalyst that has assisted me in looking forward and is what took me into coaching.  It is my calling and I never would have found it without changing my perspective.

I hope you are on a quest toward something – it’s one of the healthiest and happiest ways you can be.  To be a searcher, a learner, a discoverer of your own life is a real motivator. If you are interested in learning more about Happiness Clubs in your area, click here. If you are in the Omaha, Nebraska area, join me.

“Perfectly Lonely”, John Mayer
I mentioned another John Mayer song in my last musical obsessions post, but that was before Battle Studies officially came out! Mayer captures the delicious essence of single-ness in this song. It’s carefree, a bit humorous, and ends with the temporal realization of it all – when he’s ready, he’ll want to settle down. Out of all of the songs on the new CD, this one struck a chord with me (pardon the pun), and I’ve had it on repeat ever since. Cause I don’t belong to anyone, nobody belongs to me…

“Pursuit of Happiness”, Kid Cudi
Another song about marijuana? Not entirely. I prefer to address the youthful connotations and the search for happiness. If there’s one thing I really love about Kid Cudi, it’s his topic choice for his songs. EVERYONE is on the pursuit of happiness. The background music is fantastic – let the trippy guitar chords wash over you on those 4am mornings when you’re awake and want to think about life. I think you’ll appreciate it more then.  p.s. the chorus is addictive.

“Beautiful Story” by Taylor Swift vs Akon ft Omarion (Ryson Remix)
I’ve never really been a fan of mash-ups until someone in my digital media class showed me Ryson Remixes. This kid knows how to mash songs. I never thought Akon and T.Swift could sound so good together! The songs transition seamlessly.

“I Could’ve Danced All Night”, Audrey Hepburn
Sigh. What a classic. I was reminded by watching Hollie Steel from Britain’s Got Talent. Her beautiful, darling rendition of the song prompted me to go back to the source: My Fair Lady. It reminds me of how you feel after prom, weddings, etc. Enjoy!

“Haven’t Met You Yet”, Michael Bublé
Oh Michael. Not only do you have an amazing voice, but you also will sing to us in a grocery store, or daydream about singing to us in a grocery store. I love his voice, which goes perfectly with your typical, bouncy, feel-good love song. See sample A below:

“Michael Jackson Melody”, Sam Tsui
As always, some AMAZING accapella to round off the list! Sam Tsui is one stuck up Ivy Leaguer (he goes to Yale). Since he’s too awesome to sing accapella in a group like a normal person, he made this song with 7 of none other than…himself. Yes, he’s singing all of the back-up positions a normal accapella group would have. You’ll enjoy his vocal range, which goes from Damn-that-sounds-exactly-like-Michael-Jackson to My-ears-are-experiencing-intense-pleasure.

My menu today is:

Roast Turkey

Mashed Potatoes and Gravy

Cornbread Stuffing with Dried Cranberries and Walnuts

Green Beans

Whole Corn

Orange Cranberry relish

Dessert: Raspberry Linzer cookies

I have that song in my head by Enya – don’t know why.  That reminds me, I need to charge my mp3 player for my trip tomorrow.  My son is also charging his AND he is bringing his laptop so that will be good.  I doubt he’ll get a wireless signal out in the country of my sister’s house but he can get one probably most of the way there.

Bennie has been driving me nuts.  I let him inside and he whines to go out – put him out and he stands at the door whining to come in…I obviously am not understanding what it is he wants.  I think he likes the idea of outside until he goes out and finds it is wet, then he wants to come back in.  I don’t want to walk them – the worms will be out again.

I’m trying to load things up for tomorrow.  It is 35 outside so I could even put the pies out in the car and they’d stay cold enough but I won’t.  I’m putting a big note on the door so I won’t walk off and forget them.  I’m suppose to take the tv and dvd player down so the boys have something to watch while the adults visit – I forgot how heavy that damn tv was.  Man I love my flat screen – even if it is smaller than my son’s.  It sure is sharp and beautiful.

Was planning on starting Christmas cards yet tonight – plus I need to finish rearranging furniture but will not mess with that since it is so late – don’t want to wake my neighbors.  Besides, I really think my patience is all used up for tonight and moving furniture is usually something that tests it when it is fully charged.  I almost always hurt my toes even though I’m wearing shoes.  Should have gased the car today – didn’t even thing about it.

When did banks stop providing envelopes at their night drop and outside ATM? That was very annoying.  I had something to deposit and had no envelope – I finally wrote my account number on the check and dumped it in the night drop – irritates me.

Have to be up by 8:30am to be on the road around 9:30 to make it to my sisters by Noon.  Will have to pick up my son and we will have to stop to get coffee somewhere and gas…preferrably at the same place to save stops.  Think I might walk the dogs and go to bed…all the rest of this stuff is going to be here waiting for me when I get home tomorrow evening.  Man, I’m exhausted.

On a cool note, my train does go around the tree, disappearing behind the presents to re-emerge on the other side.  It plays Christmas music if I want it to – I love it but I must say, it wrecks a lot! I imagine because of the carpet.  I love having a full size tree again too – it is lovely.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, world.  May each day be full of love and health!

Oh yeah, I’m actually looking better on my NaNo – think I’m about even with what I should have for today. 

Andy Dufresne: Get busy living, or get busy dying.

It has been a difficult couple of weeks. That explains the dearth of updates and the sudden lack of content. But there is hope, otherwise I would not be writing this blog but would instead be worrying some more.

Catherine has been going through some rough times and while I will not expose those to the masses of the internet, for those that care I will say that she’s fine and getting better all the time (please, no need to send flowers!).

Now, a common theme that hit both of us over the last little while is the issue of happiness. Can we ever truly be happy in this world when we know what the end brings. Religion of all sorts has tackled this question before, but the ultimate answer is no answer. With 200,000 years of humanity in its current state, everybody has asked the question, but nobody has come up with the answer.

So here I am today, with the nerve and the arrogance to attempt to tackle the question of how can we be more happy in our daily lives, since this topic is very dear to the most important person in my life – Catherine. Well it’s somewhat important to me too, but Catherine comes first. Always.

1. Happiness is found in people closest to us. This is especially true when we establish deep connections with such people. A deep bond between 2 individuals (a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship) or a bond between family members (daughter & mother for example) make us happy (unless you hate your parents and enjoy living life alone, at which point you are a masochist anyways).
2. Eliminate Fear and Anger. This is an important but difficult to attain resolution. For many fear leads to anger, so the cycle is never broken. Furthermore, for others fear of something leads to depression and a changed outlook on life. Realizing what that fear is and how you can cope with it (especially if it’s the kind of fear that impacts everyone – entire populations even) goes a long way. Fear is vital, but we should differentiate substantial fear (which can be dangerous to us) and unsubstantiated fear (which is unavoidable).
3. Smiling and Laughter. This one is a given. People that smile a ton, live a ton longer. But it is often difficult to find reasons to smile in a world that seems so bleak and hopeless. But here’s a little secret I’ll share with the readers of this blog (and I hope to god Catherine doesn’t find out). I really seem to think that every time she’s feeling down or worried about unsubstantiated fear, I should cheer her up. I know I’m master of the obvious here, but let me explain. I love Catherine and nothing brings me more happiness than seeing her smile and laugh. That’s why I will resort to jokes that may or not make sense or putting myself in situations where I know a comical result will occur. Case in point: purchasing women’s pantyliners for Catherine on a bet (even if I won or lost the bet I would get a chance to kiss her – and kisses are usually what we bet on!!). This would lead to laughter all around as I would proceed to ask a female stock shelver which brand is the best since I just started using these after my sex change. This is bizarre and  probably not something that would be funny in other circumstances, but the main point is that it stops her from thinking bad thoughts and can relax in the delirious acts starring her boyfriend.  My secret plan is to always keep Catherine smiling and laughing. I hope she doesn’t come across this and I can keep this information a secret!
4. Stop Giving Up. Never. Never. Never acknowledge that something is unattainable. In my case, if I thought Catherine was unattainable, I would have never found true love and the person with whom I will spend eternity with. I took a chance and was pleasantly rewarded. Giving up just leads to temporary satisfaction of the mind (as the mind would rather accept mediocrity in the short run because it requires minimal effort, but in the long run the mind yearns for that missed opportunity).
5. Stay Positive. Again, there should never be a reason to doubt life. Life is a great gift no matter how imperfect it might seem, and we must cherish it constantly. If we don’t, there really is no purpose to life if we cannot see the beauty in it. People around us, our surroundings, our activities are what matters in life. If we can find meaning in those, we can find meaning in life.

There are many other relevant facts that make life that much more interesting and worth living. A simple search in a search engine will lead to an almost infinite supply of theories and motivations on how to stay happy, cheat death and live life to the fullest. But a simple truth remains: life, in the current capacity, is a tremendous challenge, both rewarding and difficult. Life alone is impossible and life with others can be complicated. Finding the right people in life, staying positive internally, and not worrying about things that can impact us negatively (things like death, which with the way medical technology is advancing will lead to large increases in life expectancy and potentially biological immortality), will lead to a life worth living. We have a lot of time in this life, no matter what awaits us later on. And like Andy Dufrane said, we should get busy living or get busy dying.

I am fortunate to have a friend who can always make me laugh.  We can get together and in minutes be laughing so hard people think we are a little kooky.  We can laugh at very simple things and can change a blue day to a sunny one in a blink of an eye.  Even if we are only chatting on Facebook, we can make each other giggle like school girls. 

There is an acquaintance though that has the exact opposite effect.  She walks in the room and all the joy dries up quicker than the intake of a breath.  Everyone grows quiet, no one appears to be thrilled she has arrived and barely raises their heads to acknowledge that she is there.  She is a very negative person.

My first friend can be negative too.  We have “venting” days where we bitch about the less comical people in our lives but no matter how angry we are at the start of the venting, we are laughing by the end of it.  I have seen her angry enough to spit nails but then reins herself in and is fine again.  I don’t think anyone has seen me angry in a very long time.  It isn’t a pretty picture.

Loaded Baked Potatoes

1 medium potato per person

2 slices Borden’s no-fat swiss or cheddar cheese

1 tablespoon crisp fried bacon bits

1 cup steamed broccoli

The potato crop was wonderful this year so we’re eating more and looking for healthy, tasty ways to enjoy them.

Crush a bit, Little Bit.
Roll it up, Take a hit.
Feelin’ lit, Feelin’ light.
2AM Summer night.

FAVORITE FUCKING SONG!

(well 1 of many)

Ratatat is BEAST also.

CUDDER + WALE = BEST RAPPER’S ALIVE.

FUCK Wayne, his days are over.

His LYRICS are wack!

This is my opinion so don’t BITCH about it.

Well, I’ve spent hours typing and working on my story.  As of a few minutes ago, I am still almost 4,000 words behind BUT I am more confident I can catch up now.  The story is moving a little bit faster again but still has such a long way to go.  Part of me wishes it was done already because I’m sick of it.  I’ve never stayed this long with only one story since I wrote Siren’s Song over six years ago.  Usually I write on one until I’m bored and then go to another one – which is probably one reason I don’t have any finished or near to being finished.

The story is so very rough and unsophisticated – no way it could ever be ready to publish without major rewrites from beginning to end.  However, that wasn’t really my intention when I decided to do NaNo for the first time.  Of course it would have been great to have a story that just wrote itself like Siren’s Song did but the challenge I issued to myself was to actually get the words in and meet the deadline.  I have never had a deadline before or a set number of words – I must admit that the number of words makes me stressed but it isn’t a bad stress necessarily.  It is more feeling like I need to write and sometimes I just don’t feel like writing a damn thing. 

This contest has been good for me and hopefully will help my writing career…if I ever actually have a writing career.  I do think the writing part is looking better after this exercise but am still skeptical about the publishing part as a whole.  My first love is Siren’s Song – I suppose because it is the first full length novel I’ve ever completed.  People who have read it believe that it is publishable but I don’t know.  It would be mind-boggling to even try to figure out how to begin pursuing publishing.  I know that sounds lame but it is true.  I’ve been going through the writer’s market and the literary agent books – it is not easy to figure out what the jumping off point should be.

Where my writing is concerned, I’m too much like my mother I guess.  She never thought her writing was good enough to publish either though many of us disagreed.  I would love to have her story published – it would require a ghost writer who could follow her simple style so the reader wouldn’t see where Mom’s writing ended and the ghost writer’s began.  Not too many people want to be a ghost writer who doesn’t get any of the credit.  I would finish Mom’s book but I don’t think I could – it is a western and I honestly don’t have the interest in that genre to do hers justice.  Still, wish someone would as it would be awesome to see her name on a published book posthumously. 

Well, anyway, I need to go walk the dogs and then get to bed.  It is 12:30am and will be 1am before I can actually relax in bed so need to get moving.  Tomorrow is going to be a stressful day of training.  Training isn’t bad if the trainee and myself are alone in dispatch but tensions rise as more people get added to the mix.  Ugh.  My trainee is doing really well though so that is a big plus.

Americans have enjoyed a long history of acting in accordance with their individual consciences.  There are obvious exceptions such paying taxes, but for the most part, we consider that to be within the proper role of government, no matter how poorly it may be implemented.  Overall, we live our daily lives like we have the final choice in most everything we do because on the surface our freedoms, although ever diminishing, remain intact in our minds. 

On occasion, when we find ourselves in a position where our conscience cannot allow us to participate in a legal or mandated action we make choices to opt-out or minimize our involvement.  Sometimes opting out is easy because the battle has already been won.  For instance, my family has home educated our six children.  But that freedom to opt-out of government schools was won through difficult battles fought by those who came before us.  Some endured jail and many persevered through decades of harassment in order to bring about the home-schooling freedom we now enjoy. 

Many times it is been fairly easy to live in ways that are consistent with our belief system.  If we want to eat only organic produce, we choose to purchase that type of food.  If we choose to worship on the Lord’s Day, we go to the assembly of our choice.  If we eschew popular entertainment, we don’t go to the movies or buy rap music.  If we want to see the Gospel preached around the world, we put our extra dollars in the missions envelope or volunteer to teach Bible Studies in nursing homes, prisons and shelters.  Bound by our beliefs, our lives usually feel like we are the ones in control of our choices.  Further, most of us feel our choices are not overly infringed upon.

Were it possible for us to continue on without an impact on our daily lives, we might continue to look the other way when government takes away our personal freedom, much like the churches and previous generations who enjoyed economic surplus.  After all, if we can still enjoy whatever past-time consumes us, travel openly or pursue our dreams what does it matter if we have to give up a little here or there?  Shouldn’t we be content, especially if the bit of freedom we give up is for the greater good?  Shouldn’t we be comfortable with what choices we have although it leaves us unsettled in our reflective moments?

While we were busy living our personal lives, rearing children, and working to support our families, freedom to live in accord with our personal consciences has been eroded.  We face increasingly direct assaults on the basic beliefs we hold dear.  While this in itself is not new, the current onslaught is designed to change the way we live our daily lives.

This assault on personal liberty has descended upon us with a vengeance.  If we haven’t realized it yet, we aren’t paying attention to the world around us.  If we are content to continue to live in a cocoon, we should be prepared for the threat to be at our own door with no hope for reinforcements.  Now is the time to open our eyes and learn what we face, how we can change or lessen its impact, and prepare for the promise of darker days ahead.

Two Cents’  Worth in the Nickel City
First Pitch

As an American writer, I imagined once how it would feel to approach the editor of a big city newspaper and “pitch” an idea for a new column.  I had read somewhere that the best way to partake of any new venture is to play it out in your mind first, like a dress rehearsal.  By doing this you would take into consideration the method of accomplishing your goal, what obstacles to avoid and the unforseen circumstances to overcome.  That way when you get around to actually doing the deed, it will come to you as if by rote, automatically.

I am new to Canada, there are a lot of contrasts compared to the American way of life.  Politics, entertainment, social issues, each one affects us in different ways.   There is the climate factor, employment, the language, all sorts of fodder for my creative mind.  But in my plan for submitting this idea,  I would not be a meek and mild Clark Kent of the Daily Planet.

The black- and- white scenario that projected in my mind made me the Curt Schilling of pitching new ideas.  I would stride into the corner office and my very presence would metaphorically scream, “Stop the presses ” as I hurled well placed salvos like filet-mignon wrapped with the ribbons of originality.

My initial idea?  To write about “nothing.”  I could just “Forrest Gump” my way through the sights and sounds of this Canadian community reporting my American reactions while using my usual flair for resplendent detail.  What could be a more creative way to give my two cents’  worth?  But my projector threw a belt and the film started to unceremoniously melt on my mental screen, causing the reel on the loose spindle to spin and snap its celluloid tail.

“Already been done.”  would be my future editor’s fatalistic response.

“Been done?  By who?” Or is it, by whom?

“Jerry Seinfeld, 1989-98.  You’ll need to come  up with something else.”

Of course, I do what every other self-confident professional would do in a similar situation.  I stall.

“What do you mean, come up with something else?”

“Something different.”

And right then and there I would curse syndication and American programming.  What place does it have on Canadian television, anyway?  Now the wheels are turning.  The boss wants something fresh, different, and readable.  I need to make an appeal.  I require foresight and depth.   That is where you, dear reader, come in.

As an American from Florida currently residing in Sudbury, surely you have a question or two about why I am here?  Something on your mind?  Just feel like venting?  Don’t care what Americans think?  Drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you.  Anything is better than nothing, right?  Besides, that was my concept.  It’s not my fault that Seinfeld came up with my very own original idea first.  So you cannot just sit back and do nothing and I think you know why.

Because nothing has already been done.

The first course of the meal at the PCC banquet last month was Pumpkin Curry Soup.  I’m not a pumpkin fan, but it was a wonderful soup.  We’re having this for dinner tonight with cajun catfish and spinach salad.

 Pumpkin Curry Soup

2 tablespoons butter

1 cup finely chopped onion

2 cloves garlic

1 1/2 teaspoons curry powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon ground white pepper

3 cups chicken broth

15 oz. can pumpkin

1 can evaporated milk

 Saute garlic and onion in butter until soft.  Add spices, broth and pumpkin.  Bring to slow boil; reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes.  Remove from heat.  Add evaporated milk.  Process in blender until smooth.  Serve warm.

* Be careful when processing hot foods.  Use a cloth over the top to stop splatters that can burn.  Process in small batches.

The sun is shining but every time I get excited about it, it goes back behind the clouds.  I’m hoping it will find its way to stay out here in a bit.  I need to walk the dogs and it is a much better experience if the sun is shining.   

Today I am getting the Christmas tree and stuff.  I know, I’m rushing it but I don’t care – it is the first time I’ve looked forward to Christmas in over a decade.  Why? I have no idea but I’m not going to question a good thing.  Usually Christmas makes me so depressed that I just want to hide until it is over.  This year I have to rein myself in so I don’t overdue it with silly things like lawn blow-up things and what not. 

I did buy a train set – did I post about that already? I hope it comes today or tomorrow.  It is a Christmas train set that goes around the bottom of the tree.  However, I was thinking I might put it up on a table and buy all the little Christmas village things like I use to see every Christmas at the Shell Factory.  I doubt I’ll have the money to go that far but now that I have the train, I can start collecting the village stuff cuz there is a lot of it to choose from.  I can make my very own perfect little town.

I didn’t go to bed last night until 4am but I slept in my bed so slept right through till 10am when my alarm went off.  That was awesome though I don’t think the dogs enjoyed being in the kennel.  I’m thinking I might use the outdoor leashes to leash them inside so they can still roam around but not get to the things I worry about them tearing up.  I do it now and then when I’m working on something on the floor and want to keep it out of their reach – they seem to like it fine as it still gives them a lot more movement ability than the kennel.

I need to get going I guess, the dogs are giving me their “oh sorrow” look and the sun has actually stayed out for almost a full 5 minutes!  I love the sun – it makes everything so bright (ha, ha) and cheery. 

Can’t wait to get my presents all wrapped to go under the tree.   

 On a sad note, I am so far behind on NaNo now that I don’t know if I’m going to be able to catch up.    It is hard to write when the holidays are here – should do this in October.  Maybe next year I will write it in October for November.  I’m going to try to catch up but with just about every day filled up with something between now and the end of the month, it isn’t looking promising.

Isn’t it great!  I want one, if not for any other reason than I don’t have one.  One dish crockpot meals are wonderful.  Or there are times I have to make the side dishes separately.  But wow!  I can imagine making three dishes for a full meal in this or serving three varieties at our annual soup party.  It’s a bit pricey, though, at $89 and it’s 33 inches long so it takes some serious storage space.  Unless one uses it all the time;)  Another option is the two crock buffet, so maybe I want both!