As the website puts it, Fail Blog is a compilation of “Fail, Owned and Pwn moments in pictures and videos.” There’s a lot funny stuff here. Here is the website:

http://failblog.org/

Fail Blog also has a Youtube channel:

http://www.youtube.com/user/failblog

Enjoy!

If you want to make money online, click here: http://tinyurl.com/yfk7wqj

I would like to start by saying that I am writing this post from a Starbucks. I went along with Tyrus to work because I get so bored at home. He made me some fancy drink like an egg nog chai or something. It was yum. So, I’m feelin kinda artsy and creative sitting here. Thus I shall begin.

I like to create some sort of link between my posts, just so there’s a sense of continuity. And I wanted to branch off a little bit from owning, I think an appropriate topic would be: bullies. Everyone knows of one, whether you were bullied or not. Perhaps you were the bully. Grammar school – stealing lunch money and pudding… those were the days.

Apparently, bullying is a huge problem nowadays, especially in schools. They actually made a game centered around bullying. It is creatively titled:
Bully.

The game is created by Rockstar Games (same guys who made Grand Theft Auto). Basically in this Bully game you play Jimmy who, at the beginning of the game, is dropped off at a boarding school. Everyone there wants to beat him up, so he has no choice but to fight back. And the purpose of the game is to become the head honcho of the school by bullying. Interesting. He even gets to use weapons like itching powder, a slingshot, and eventually a bottle rocket launcher. Nice.

Yeah, I wouldn’t mind trying this game out sometime, just to see what it’s like. It has been pretty controversial, and it’s banned in some countries. But I think, if kids can channel their aggression into a game rather than other children, then its a win. BUT, then again, this game is rated Teen – meaning that the teens who are channeling their aggression into this game have probably already beat up/bullied dozens of kids already and maybe this game is just giving them more ideas. Maybe. I think I read somewhere that Jimmy is also supposed to kiss other guys in the game as well…

SO in conclusion, it really seems like a quality quality game for children.

My Glory Days

Some of you may know this already, but as a young me, I was a bully. No joke. There were several people I beat up during my childhood. The victims of the beatings were always boys. But I’m pretty sure I was mean to girls too. For example, my family tells me that when I was a youngin (prob about 3), I always hit my cousin Kai (who is a year older than me). Along with hitting him with my hands on a regular basis: one time I pushed him down and he hit his head on the corner of a coffee table. Another time, I hit him hard over the head with a telephone.

One word: hardcore. He still lives in fear to this day.

I also used to hang out with some family friends from the neighborhood. One day, when I was probably about 4 or 5, a couple of my guy buddies came over for a play date, while the parents chatted in the other room. I didn’t like how one of them pet my cat, so naturally, I proceeded to throw him to the ground. lol. [I remember this clearly in my mind.] I felt completely justified in my actions.

Then the two boys proceeded to threaten me, explaining that they would tell on me. Then I, in order to escape this event, said “sorry”. Then one of them said to me “sorry is not good enough”. Now I don’t know where he learned that line, but I know in my head I was thinking “This is ridiculous. WTH? Sorry isn’t enough??” Well it was not those words exactly, but it was something like that.

That was the closest I ever got to being an MMA fighter.

Now these are just a few stories (I also used to take toys from other kids in preschool and I would also scare my cousin Jenny, every chance I got. We also actually have a home video of my other cousin, Nick, saying “MARI, DON’T HIT ME”). My parents were pretty embarrassed with my actions. I’m sure they thought that my actions reflected the quality of their parenting.

Those were my glory days. Luckily, for my parents, this phase was temporary. Since then, I have calmed down quite a bit. I think all of my aggression was utilized that time. Now, I very rarely get into verbal arguments with others, let alone physical fights. [But I have always wondered how well I would do if I got into a fight. Perhaps the inner beast would awaken and I would own.]

If YOUR child is the bully:

One thing I find interesting is that all of the special ABC and PBS programs on bullying describe how to protect your own child from a bully. And I understand there is a need for that information. But what are you supposed to do if your child is a bully? Like my parents situation. They weren’t terrible parents. They definitely did everything they could. But my pwn-like nature was just too overwhelming.

My theory is that I lost my desire to own everyone because… my parents had my brother. He was born when I was almost 4. It took a little time for me to be completely subdued. But I did stop bullying eventually. I believe my bulliness peaked before he was born, then slowly declined. I no longer had to prove my dominance over my peers, but now I actually have legitimate authority over at least one person forever: my brother.

I don’t even need to bully him to prove it. I just know it deep down within.

I’ll always be higher on the ‘food chain’:  the straight flush to his high card, the Friday night to his Monday morning, the flash drive to his floppy disk, the Charizard to his Bulbasaur, put plainly – I will always have him in a hierarchy headlock. And you can take that to the bank.

So my advice to people with children that are bullies: have more kids. (and hope that those children are not bullies as well)

p.s. Please don’t take my advice seriously. That might be a disaster. Thanks.

Since last time I’ve entered Ludum Dare and actually finished at 75ths place and a bronze in community – yay me.

Since then I’ve integrated the half/16-bit float from the glorious OpenEXR-project into my game-library pwn.

I’ve also been thinking about creating a 2d level editor as editing text-files suck, and there doesn’t seem to be a good level-editor. Most of the 2d level editors are focused on tile-based editing, but I want a more free-flow sprite-based editor, like the aquaria editor(nicely captured by wolfire design tour) or the boingo editor that is briefly visible in their sga trailer. Preferably I like the editor to be integrate-able with box2d (so that it generates the collision geometry).

Wake up in the morning feelin like P Diddy
Grab my glasses, I’m out the door – I’m gonna hit this city

That song is stuck in my head. So catchy.  tik tok – ke$ha
It’s not really quality music… like I am pretty sure I could have made this song just as good, but it makes me want to dance in place. That’s always a plus.

POOP (continued for a bit)

I got some great feedback from my last post on poo. I am so glad to hear that people are just as interested as I am in this subject. Thanks to everyone who shared their stories with me! It made the post da best. FRRL.  I wanted to share one story that I heard after the post was made:

When my friend, Kim, was much younger she was swimming in a pool. All of a sudden, she had the urge to #2. Thinking it was a little one, she proceeded to “go” while she was still in the pool. No one would notice. She turned around and saw a LOG (approx. 1ft long) floating in the water. She picked up her poo log, got out of the pool, and carried it over to a recycling bin. She threw the poop in the bin and then jumped back in the pool. Like nothing happened. What would you do if you pooped in a pool? Pick it up and throw it out in the nearest recycling receptacle? I would hope so.

She also informed me about something called “fecal bacteriotherapy” aka fecal transfusion/fecal transplant. Basically someone donates their poop that is to be injected into someone else’s booty… amazing. Not even I thought of something like that.

OWNED. thus begins the new post.

There is something that I realized while watching movies of various types (and living life). I enjoy watching people get owned.

owned:

1. literal: belonging to oneself or itself (usually used after a possessive to emphasize the idea of ownership, interest, or relation conveyed by the possessive)
2. urbandictionary: To be made a fool of; To make a fool of; To confound or prove wrong; embarrasing someone: Being embarrassed. I owned you in counter-strike. You were owned at the party yesterday.

It’s not that I don’t sympathize with people, I really do. But sometimes you just can’t help it when you see someone get what you think they deserve.

Do you watch movies? I hope so. There are some pretty good ones. Anyways, I was trying to think of a good ‘owning’ example. GLADIATOR. I actually saw this movie this past summer for the first time. amazing.

In case you have never seen this movie, this is a quick summary [SPOILER ALERT]:
So Russell Crowe is a general of a Roman army whom Emperor decides to appoint as the next leader (instead of the emperor’s son, Joaquin Pheonix). When Joaquin finds this out he get pissed, kills his own father the emperor, and orders the execution of Russell and his family. Russell, because of his cleverness escapes (without Joaquin knowing), but his family dies. Some time later in Rome, Joaquin hosts the gladiator games. Russell, ends up in Rome as a gladiator – designed to be killed for show. But he totally OWNS in the games. And Joaquin (the new emperor) is impressed, so he comes down to meet this amazing ‘gladiator’. Russell (Maximus) reveals his identity. This is one of my favorite parts (you can start watching at like 1:15):

“My name is Maximus Demicus Meridius… and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”
Then the emperor wants to kill Russell (Maximus) but he can’t because the people of Rome want him to live. OWNED. (also, Maximus kills the emperor in the end. DOUBLE OWNED. sorry if I ruined it for you). [end of spoilerrr]

Here’s another short, easy example:

She gets OWNED by the ground… trying to be cool and all. I don’t know, maybe you feel really bad for her instead. I mean, someone can get owned without it being funny I guess. But that is usually not the case. Normally, its pretty funny when someone gets owned. I do feel kind of bad… but my laugh reflex is much stronger when I watch this 10 times in a row. Don’t judge me please.

Dance Battling & PWNing

When you ‘own’ you could also just be AMAZING at something. That works. I LOVE watching dance battles. really. Have you seen Stomp the Yard? lol, probably not a prime example. But the first dance battle is pretty sick. You are not required to watch, but it enhances the experience. (sorry. video overload today. and yes, the video is in spanish. lol)

In order to battle successfully, or own in general, I feel like you need to have a LOT of confidence. For example, my friend Doug, believes that he OWNS at dancing. lol. forreal.

Doug: “sorry mari, i don’t know mercy on the dance floor.”

Apparently, back in the day he was the dance king at the local college town bars. He claims he is undefeated (unowned). I, personally, have never seen him dance battle – but I would like to. And he also threatened to kill my bunny Godfather style. So if you wanna do some battling – challenge Doug. pwn him please.

Oh, by the way, the word ‘pwn’ has its origins in the pc gaming world. Pwn basically means the same thing as ‘own’. It was a typo made by a map designer in WarCraft who meant to type ‘own’ (but you know, the p is next to the o, and I’m sure he/she was just excited to get to owning some n00bs. understandable mistake.)

Sidestory: When I was like 11 years old, I played a little Counter Strike with my cousins. (CS is a first person shooter game consisting of “terrorists” and “counter-terrorists” where you can play against other people online.) Of course I was not amazing, I was an 11 yr old girl, but I did kill my fair share of simulated terrorists. There were a couple times when I kind of owned a little. During those times I made sure to tell the person, who I eliminated, that they were owned by an 11 yr old girl. Good times.

You know, the joy of pwning comes from a desire for respect. People typically like getting respect. And I think people usually enjoy watching what they believe is justice being served. But people also dislike injustice. I hate watching movies where the wrong person gets owned – it hurts me too much… but that is for another post.

wow. What the heck. How is it so much more easy to write a 1000 word blog post than a 300 word paper? School needs to be Gladiatored/Dance Battled/First person shot. Seriously. pwned.

Funny little jab at the concept of Wii FPS over at Gizmodo.  NSFW due to the section about trash talking.

http://gizmodo.com/5395146/wii-xbox-360-to-make-shooters-more-accessible-to-non+gamers

BLARG!

As a good friend of mine described it, “Unnecessarily violent, unbelievably fun!” I agree with him completely, Gears of War 2 is definitely a buy, if your mommy and daddy thinks it too violent, rent it for awhile! Do not even think about passing up this game, or I will come to your house and shove it in your Xbox 360! In the future aliens from underground come up and try to kill us all! Good thing Marcus Fenix and his ragtag crew are here to save the world!! WOHOO! Marcus the man that can not die! His buddy Dominic Santiago! Agustus Cole the PWNER!! Damon Baird the blonde! Anya Stroud the chick no one cares about! Dizzy the Redneck tank driver! Tai the dude that just won’t die! aannnd Anthony Carmine, the NOOB! So blah blah they kill stuff blow some stuff up and yeah ITS AWSOMEEE!!! Multiplayer is just as good and maybe even better, except it takes me like 10 minutes to get into a game. Annnddd yeah it’s awsome, buy it, now, or now, now would be good to, why are you reading this! Go get it!!!

So, I need to tell the lot of you some of the more interesting things that have been happening in my… life? Yeah, I suppose it’s a life.

Griffin was just told by her psychiatrist that she has schizophrenia, which, if you didn’t know, my uncle has… I don’t like this topic anymore.

When I heard, I immediately had one of those really awful thoughts. I just immediately thought “It’s because I was scared that I had it. I decided I didn’t want it and put it on her….” But that’s impossible, right? So I talked to the guidance counselor about it and he said that was called magical thinking. Like the kind that schizophrenics have. And alot of my thoughts can be explained like that, he says. But he’sa really nice guy, the nicest guidance counselor I’ve ever had, so I guess everything is okay.

I went to see The Therapist on Thursday. She doesn’t think it’s magical thinking, but cognitive distortion, which is totally the same thing sounds similar to magical thinking. We had a big talk, she gave me a list of different cognitive distortions, and it was all fine and dandy until I talked with the receptionist about rescheduling my psychiatry appointment. Shewas all like “you have a $100 fee for cancelling late” and I was all “THAT IS SO NOT POSSIBLE. SHE CALLED ME TO CANCEL.” So she showed me the papers, and my mom cancelled the appointment without telling me.

So I basically almost China Syndrome’d. I was almost in tears, and she said “Is something wrong?” and I said “Yeah… *sniffle* my mom is just a fucking liar.” She then asked, looking seriously apprehensive and put off, “Was this a medication appointment?”

“Yes,” I answered bitterly, “We were supposed to talk about prescribing meds.” I then stalked out, called my mom, accused her of lying and trying to deny me the oppurtunity get help, when she interrupted me saying “YES, I CANCELLED, YOU HAD SWINE FLU, REMEMBER?!”

“OH.”

So, while waiting for her to pick me up, I looked at my cognitive distortions sheet and saw JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS written in giant letters. The bitch may be right after all.

Did I mention that my current English project is to write daily journals about how I am keeping tranquil because tranquility is the virtue I chose from Ben Franklin’s list in Poor Richard’s Almanac?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Hamlet Quote of the Day: O most pernicious woman!
O, villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!
My tables, — meet it is I set it down,
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.

I just felt like shouting something totally out there. Ok, welcome. Some of you may have known me as Anime-tor from another blog, sadly I could never login… so I went ahead and got a new one (not went ahead, it took me three months to decide and that was using password assistance every time I logged into the other one). So I’m here now, be glad……….. BE GLAD!!!

I’ve always been a sucker for romantic songs. I love “Silly Love Songs” by Paul McCartney. I’m  hopeless romantic. I write love poems, cry during movies, and generally love the feeling of being in love.

I also am crazy obsessed with breakup songs- if they are done right. Nick Lachey is DOING IT WRONG. Kelly Clarkson is DOING IT WRONG. NOT A RESPECTABLE BREAKUP SONG. This is much much MUCH better, Kelly, why not more like this?  To put it quite frankly, I like breakup songs that basically scream SCREW YOU, I AM SO BETTER OFF. Para ejemplo….

THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT. You scream, you shout, you act OBSCENE. The best breakup songs are the angry ones. By the way, best line in the whole song is “When I scratch my nails down somebody else’s back, I want you to feel it / Can you feel it?” You can hear it around the 3:43 mark.

You can tell I like it because I actually put the video up instead of doing what I like to call Lazy Linking.

Anyway, I have been having a rough time as of late, and I wanna give a shout-out to the people who have had the balls to stand next to me when I make a fool out of myself. First off has to be Wheel, because I have put him through the fucking RINGER as of late. I love him a whole lot, a whole DAMN lot, and we have been dating for 7 months as of Saturday. THAT IS A LONG TIME.

Next is Love, who has counseled me through many rough phone calls. SAhe is having some conflicts at the mo’, and we should all send her some TLC.

Then comes Blarbinator. I hate to say that I owe him, but I do. There can only be one There is only one Blarbinator

Griffin is coming back to school tomorrow! Even though I haven’t said explicitly why she was away, this is not without reason. I am protecting her integrity, peeps.

AU REVOIR

Hamlet Quote of the Day: I lov’d Ophelia: forty thousand brothers
Could not, with all their quantity of love,
Make up my sum

As I have been playing a few games of L4D recently, I came upon these marvelous conclusions:

1. Death is sad.

2. Getting shot in the back is more sad.

3. Shooting somebody in the back is both sad and sadistic.

Meet the Ass-assin

Of course, playing on Expert means that all of these three conclusions come around a lot, so much so even, that I started playing easier difficulties just for the sake of playing a game, and not waiting to get picked up again. As I’m usually too lazy to look around for a suitable game, I’m usually pitted with some random people into a random Expert difficulty game, in which the next few seconds are met with the usual hard zombie opposition, after which the next few minutes are those in which the zombies spit our collective bones out. That happens even in the event of not meeting a tank.

Let’s use basic math – you start at 100 health. Each horde zombie hit steals 15 of that away. 6 hits and you’re so injured you can barely walk. One more and you’re incapacitated. Add to that the error of getting shot in the back, that of flames (oh the humanity) and the special infected, and you’re pretty much toast unless you’re an expert (or too lucky). Of course having a better than average team helps – but seeing as most disparate groups you find in quick games on the internets consist of pretty much the runners and the turtlers, you will always have somebody run off like Rambo in front of the group, usually finding himself with a shotgun shell in his back, as well as run into guys who would make themselves like almost movable bunkers, only running off when the group is getting their blood sucked by the cold, hard, concrete.

That said, the game is awesome. Because when you see these problems of human nature, you can’t notice the fact that the game, itself, would have flaws. It’s all human error, all the game does is entertain. If you die, it’s because of you and your team-mates, not of that AI Director sending all those hordes at you when you are at low health and out of ammo.

Despite all the frustrations, I can’t see myself blaming the game – that is why I say that the game is great. Sure the AI of the team-mates isn’t, but who the hell would play L4D in single-player anyway, right? Considering the effort that Valve’s put into this game, I’d place it on a must buy stand. Now that it’s not 15 bucks though, I’ll put it off for the next discount. Sorry Valve, but I am poor.

Aqui un video donde se aprecia como un camionero escolar ataca a un ninio, creo que el video lo dice todo, el camionero gano la batalla, y posupuesto que tambien se gano una entrada a la carcel.

Did you ever wonder where all that shit in the above video, and demonic, horrifying shit such as: boXXy, goatse, two girls one cup, rick-rolling, tub girl and just about every pic on theChive, FailBlog, eBaumsworld, (shit, just about every fucking blog in the world) and youtube originated? Answer: 4chan – “the asshole of the internet”

Well, “/b/“, to be specific.

4chan cannot be explained. It can only be experienced. I have recently set out to infiltrate 4chan and become a “/b/tard”, but currently I am “fag” status and already been accused of trolling.

Here’s some brief information on 4chan from wikipedia:

The “random” board, /b/, follows the design of Futaba Channel’s Nijiura board. It was the first board created, and is by far 4chan’s most popular board, with 30% of site traffic. Gawker summarizes /b/ as a board where “people try to shock, entertain, and coax free porn from each other.” Certain post numbers are sought after with a large amount of posting taking place to “GET” them. A “GET” occurs when a post’s number ends in a special number, such as 12345678, 22222222, or every millionth post. A sign of 4chan’s scaling, according to moot (the site’s creator, and overlord), was when GETs lost meaning due to the high post rate resulting in a GET occurring every few weeks. Moot estimated /b/’s post rate in July 2008 to be 150,000–200,000 posts per day.

/b/ has a “no rules” policy, except for bans on certain illegal content, such as child pornography, invasions of other websites, and under-18 viewing, all of which are inherited from site-wide rules. The “no rules” policy also applies to actions of administrator and moderator, which means that users may be banned at any time, for any reason, including no reason at all. Due partially to its anonymous nature, board moderation is not always successful—indeed, the site’s anti-child pornography rule is a subject of jokes on /b/. moot told The New York Times, in a discussion on the moderation of /b/, that “the power lies in the community to dictate its own standards” and that site staff simply provided a framework.

The humor of /b/’s many users, who refer to themselves as “/b/tards”, is often incomprehensible to newcomers and outsiders, and is characterized by intricate inside jokes and black comedy. Users often refer to each other, and much of the outside world, as “fags.” They are often referred to by outsiders as trolls, who regularly act with the intention of accruing “LULz”: a corruption of  “LOL” used to denote amusement at another’s expense.  It has been said of the board, “reading /b/ will melt your brain”, and Encyclopedia Dramatica’s definition of /b/ as “the asshole of the Internet”. Matthias Schwartz of The New York Times likened /b/ to a “a high-school bathroom stall, or an obscene telephone party line”, while the Baltimore City Paper wrote that “in the high school of the internet, /b/ is the kid with a collection of  switch blades and a locker full of porn.” Wired Magazine describes /b/ as a “notorious, terrifying, insane no-man’s land.”

The Guardian once summarized the 4chan community as “lunatic, juvenile… brilliant, ridiculous and alarming.”

Here’s an example of the above-mentioned “boXXy” (courtesy of /b/):

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

This crazy broad created a civil war amongst /b/tards which ultimately led to the entire 4chan community – and to a larger degree – the internet as a whole to come to a crashing halt for a brief period of time in early 2009. You see, a fierce debate erupted between users who want to fuck this broad and users who want to kill her, light her on fire, and mutilate her body. As you can tell – she’s incredibly annoying, yet strangely intriguing. Her polarizing nature has earned her the title of  “The most successful troll ever to exist.”

Urban Dictionary describes Boxxy as:

baha… its not as bad as it sounds

I think what I’ll do from now on is post awesome mega cool crap from youtube on here, like what I used to do on old blog…

umm yeah just quick update today-

school just finished for the term … thank god, although the alternative being that I have to stay here,at the bay, so I can baby sit my little brother…. (lucky me)… as soon as I have a reason to get out Im taking it (some one isnt happy today are they??)

the end.

Hello and welcome to the second installment in PWNT, In The Face. I recently bought the Jedi Knight Collection from Steam. I already played noe of them before, but never all of them. Now I’m back and I’m gettting better every day. Here’s a video of me PWNing the guy, in the face, after he tried to run from me.

If you want you can watch my old videos on my channel that I did from ages eleven to present day. Some old ones were good. Some were bad, but some were good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOJCa-0zF8I

In a recent post Paul Krugman takes girlish offense at Greg Mankiw’s observations on the correlation between parent income and child achievement.

Oh, Kay. Greg Mankiw looks at a graph showing that children of high-income families do better on tests, and suggests that it’s largely about inherited talent: smart people make lots of money, and also have smart kids.

Krugman retorts that rich morons who suck at college are slightly more likely to graduate than poor-ass morons. To illustrate one point or another, he says, “It’s comforting to think that we live in a meritocracy. But we don’t.” Wonderful.

This does make me wonder… Mr. Krugman, how would inheriting skills from your parents make our society a meritocracy? Wouldn’t you call such a society a socially unjust kleptocracy where the elite rule merely by their inheritance from birth, or something equally tiresome?

Paul Krugman’s recent post on Obama’s deficit spending basically said “a trillion here, eight trillion there and you’re still not talking about real money.” He compares our current GDP to debt ratio to the post-war period and concludes that everything is fine, of course.

Political Math’s new post beats down Krugman as hard as that Shamwow guy beat that hooker who was biting his tongue off.

PM’s graphic detailing the composition of the respective budgets sums up why Krugman is wrong:

It's a cat.

The interweb’s a big place and it can be easy to get behind on what the “hip” word or phrase is. Which is why I have created this guide, for you, because that’s the kind of guy I am. No longer will you belittled by a 12 year old Asian kid who can insult you without you even realising it because he is hiding behind his tech speech. No, with this guide to can stand and say “FU, u n00b fag.”

Noob
A “noob” or “n00b” is an inexperienced player or internet user. A noob is hated among any community. A noob knows very little about the game and refuses to learn, they expect other players to do everything for them.

Do not try to argue with a noob as they anger easily and are very territorial. They believe they are the best at what in fact they are the worst at.

Sound the alarm!

Noob try to stay in packs but this can result in them fighting among one another (see “Fail.”)
It is generally advised that noobs be taken out of the gene pool.

Variations appear in different games. For example in Garrys Mod a noob is known as a “mingebag” as the default name for a new player is “mingebag”.

The term “noob” is becoming increasingly used in certain teenage cultures as a form of insult. (See “YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG”.)

Newb
Different from a noob in that a newb, whilst being new to the game/forum, is willing to learn and will communicate in a well spoken manner.

First
A word that is used when you are the first to post on an article or video. A sought after position. People will treat you with the upmost respect if you achieve the prized first position.
Hint: when checking to see if anyone has already said “first,” the best place to look is the first comment.
E.g. “There are no comments yet.”
Posts: First.

Troll
A troll is one who deliberately posts controversial or provocative message on a topic or in a comments section.
E.g. On a youtube Michael Jackson tribute video.
“Michael Jackson is a fag.”
Somebody who responds to the trolls with anger or annoyance is said to have been “trolled”. And can often lead to further annoyance when people point this out. (See butthurt)
While it may seem appropriate to flame a troll (see below) it is important that you ignore him, as an angry comment is exactly what the troll wants because he is in it for the lulz (See: “Lol”)
Hint: Do not feed the trolls.

Flame
“Flame” is a term used to describe an insult said over the internet (or anything electronic). A person who repeatedly argues like this can be known as a “flamer.” And a large scale argument on a forum will be known as a “flame war.”

Lol (Lul, lols, megalols, etc)
Laugh out loud. That comment was so funny that I am in fact laughing out loud. Feel free to use this even though it probably isn’t true. You probably just smirked a bit.

Rofl

Roflcopter

Rolling on floor laughing. That comment was so witty and brilliant that I have proceeded to roll around on the floor laughing. Feel free to use this even though it is very unlikely to be true.
Lmao
Laughing my ass off. That comment was so funny that my rectum has proceeded to explode.

Brb
Be right back. I am leaving my computer and feel inclined to inform you that I will be right back. Can be used for a maximum of 30 minutes.

Afk
Away from keyboard. I am not at my computer, I am away from my keyboard and so I will not be typing. Can be left in your username to indicate you are not there. Should be used if you will be away from longer than 30 minutes.

Teh
A corruption of the word “the”.
E.g. Teh internets is cool. Or. Teh dog pissed on me.
It is now mostly used in an ironic way but it has been used so much that is became unfunny about last Thursday.

Pron
A corruption of the word “porn”. Often used to avoid automatic word filters but is so widely known that it stopped working at least 100 years ago.

NSFW
Not safe for work. The following link will lead to material that is not safe for the workplace as it will contain nudity. Probably goatse (See “pron”).
E.g. This link is NSFW.

OMG
Oh my god. That sentence/video is so shocking that I generally can’t believe it. OMGWTFBBQ.

ZOMG
A variation of “omg”. Used mainly by geeks but is finding its way into normal social circles. Incurs sarcasm as to the level of disbelief.
E.g. ZOMG does this film rule? By which I mean no.

TLDR (tl;dr)
Too long, didn’t read. That comment was so long that I in fact didn’t read it.

Win
Win generally indicates that something is great.
E.g. This picture=win.
A winner is you.
This can be further emphasised by adding epic in front.
E.g. This thread=epic win.
You can also capitalise these words for a much greater affect. Although this is generally ill advised as it is associated with noob behaviour.

Fail

Cat Win

When something is so bad that it “fails”. Often used when some attempt at humour happens and “fails”. Has found its way into main stream social circles…unfortunately.
Can also be emphasised by the word epic.

FTW
For the win.
E.g. I like ducks. Yeah ducks for the win.
Can also mean full of win in some cases
E.g. This thread is so good that it is full of win. (see win)

FTL
For the loss. The opposite of for the win.

FU
Fuck you.
Often used in response to being “rickroll’d”
Overdraw the “U” to add extra anger.
E.g. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Fag/Your a fag
Whilst not strictly internet slang, it is important none the less. The reason for this is because it is the most widely used insult on the whole of the “internetz”. Most often in a “flame war” (see flame). Because when you can’t form a solid and witty argument (see fail) then you must question the person’s sexuality.
“Your a fag” even works on female, which doesn’t even make sense. That’s how powerful this insult is.
Note the missing apostrophe, that’s intentional, this insult doesn’t need correct grammar.
The only possible come back to this insult is to say:
“No, your a fag!”

Imo
In my opinion. This is my opinion, and nobody else’s. I would like to express my opinion. Often used by people who have something to say that nobody cares about.
E.g. Imo your a fag.

Own
To be owned is an act of humiliation. It derives from videogames where you completely obliterated an opponent, you are said to have “ownd them”.

Pwn
A variation of the word own. Originated back in the days of warcraft when a map designer accidently misspelt owned as pwned. Which is fair enough because the two letters are next to each other, give the guy a break.

1337
Back in the days of dial up 1337 or “leet”, which comes from the word “elite”, used to mean to be an incredible gamer. But now it is more commonly used to describe the language used by a small community of people. Here is an example of 1337 speak:
20|\/|9, 7|-|1$ \/1Ð30 $µ(|{0®$.

Not to be confused with “chav speak” or “text talk”. (See below).

Text talk
This is the language used by most characters with little intelligence.
E.g. i (L)d it but evry1 startd sayin tht i cut maself n evrythng wen it woz ma falt!! so i aint nomor! but it woz wkd!!
Yes, I don’t know what that said either. I just copied and pasted it off somebody’s facebook who I shall keep anonymous. This kind of speak is used so only those of similar intelligence can read it.
This language can be easily mimicked by repeatedly smashing your face into the keyboard.

So now you’ve read the guide you should be ready to venture out into the scary world of the internet. Go forth child! With the growing rate of these words implementation into society then you shall be able to survive off the knowledge into this guide. But this is just a basic introduction into the world of the internet. There is much more you shall learn whilst out there. Be careful.

Jesus ownage.

Photo Credit by Ricky Havlik

The Submission Squad lost the tag team titles at a PWN show in Moline, IL tonight. Pierre Abernathy and Evan Gelistico were defeated by the Hooligans whom the Submission Squad defeated in New Athens earlier this month. There were no plans for the Hooligans to return to compete in the LwA so we are left to wonder what the status of the LwA Tag Titles will be. Stay tuned for further updates.

MWR Thoughts of this major development.

The Hooligans Devin and Mason Cutter was able to take the straps off one of the hottest tags teams in the Midwest Pierre Abernathy and Evan Gelistico better known as The Submission Squad. These two have crossed paths before with The Submission Squad getting the advantage. Fans I have to say that this has the makings of becoming very ugly with The Hooligans taking the belt that the Submission Squad claims is rightfully theirs. As a fan of Tag team wrestling I can not wait to see the developments of this situation.

Brian “Flair” Kelley

LWA Returns Aug 29 2009 in House Springs, MO at Knights of Columbus, 7:00 PM Start.

It’s such a shame that this isn’t real.

Nach dem Firmwareupdate 3.0 funktionierte auf vielen iPod touchs (und iPhones) plötzlich der PwnPlayer nicht mehr. Sehr ärgerlich. Denn mit dem 3er-Update hatte Apple zeitgleich auch die Musikdatenbank des iPods verbarrikadiert. Neben den verschlüsselten Info-Hashes (Firmware 2.0), erschwert jetzt (Firmware 3.0) auch eine komplett neue Datenbankstruktur den Zugang zum iPod. Apple sperrt so mit jeder neuen Version immer wieder alternativen Musikplayern (Rhythmbox, etc.) den Zugang zu iPhone und iPod touch. Für so ein Szenario war der PwnPlayer bislang immer eine gute Wahl.

PwnPlayer Lite umgeht die iTunes Datenbank und spielt Musik aus dem Verzeichnis “var/mobile/Media/Music” ab

Er versucht gar nicht erst Musik aus der iTunes Datenbank des iPods abzuspielen. Stattdessen spielt er Musik ab, die man in das Verzeichnis “var/mobile/Media/Music” kopiert hat. Und an das Verzeichnis kommt man dank Jailbreak ja auch sehr einfach, ohne dass man iTunes installieren muss. Sprich: PwnPlayer war gerade auch unter Linux DIE Lösung, für alle die ohne iTunes auskommen wollen/müssen. Tja und dann – seit Firmware 3.0 – crashte das gute Ding ständig. Und auf der PwnPlayer-Webseite des verdienstvollen Eric Castro konnte man dann lesen: PwnPlayer’s development has been, and is currently on hiatus. Unschön

PwbPlayer Lite - Endlich gibt es wieder einen alternativen Musikplayer für das iPhone OS

Aber: Seit ungefähr einer Woche gibt es bei Cydia, dem Jailbreak-AppStore, jetzt PwnPlayer Lite zu laden. Der funktioniert einwandfrei und ist sehr stabil. Die Welt ist wieder in Ordnung. THX errrick!

Seit einer Woche im Hacker-AppStore "Cydia": PwnPlayer Lite