As I’ve been posting about, Gator and Tech are having relationship issues with Kitten.

I had a date with Tech Wednesday night but would have stayed home if I had realized how big the emotional turmoil Gator was dealing with actually was. (Even though he was at work almost the whole time I was gone.) He rarely texts me or calls me while I’m on a date any more. He did both and more than one time of each. He was really in pain. And he said he was jealous…what he actually felt was envy. He wants to have with Kitten something that more closely resembles what I have with Tech.

He was also trying to communicate with Kitten during this time…and this caused Kitten to call Tech for a long talk. The sad truth is, there are times that Kitten has to be shocked into seeing where a situation is heading. She refuses to listen to normal conversations. She doesn’t really have conversations with any of us. She talks “at” us.

So, once I was home from my date and Gator was home from work (he got off at midnight), he and I spent several hours talking. About how he was feeling, what he would like to have with Kitten, all manner of things. It came up in conversation the depth of our feelings for them. Gator knows, and I’ve stated on more than one occasion in this blog, that I love Tech. As much as I love Gator I’ve always said…just that Gator and I have a deeper bond. I’ve never truly felt I explained that well. And I know that Gator has never really understood the whole concept totally.

But, my dear husband, the very one that most always has difficulties expressing himself well, sent some possible enlightenment my way. And I’ll state it as well as I can here. Although he and I have talked about it a couple of more times since he first brought this up, I can not be sure I have the “whole” of his thought processes behind this concrete in my head.

He explained again that he can’t understand how I could love Tech as much as I do him. I tried once more to get my thoughts about the bond we have being greater due to our years and experiences together across to him again. He explained that’s the very reason he can’t love Kitten as much as me. However, he has opened himself and his heart to her just as much as he has me. And therefore, opened himself up to the possibility of as much love and pain from her. Due to our experience in our relationship together, it is most likely that he can avoid some of the pitfalls we faced in his relationship with Kitten. And yes, because of our maturity and relationship experiences as a whole, it is possible for him to love her more after 5 years than he did me after 5 years.

I am so not explaining this well. I wish I could get him to post on this. Because as he was telling me all this, I was seeing it. How his concept was even more accurate than mine in regards to how much I love Tech. Because, it still boils down to the fact that I would be heartbroken to lose Tech but losing Gator would devastate me. Is that because I love Gator more or because he and I have survived more? I’ve always assumed it was because he and I have been through more together. But it does seem possible that because of all we’ve been through I would love him more. See?

But, I guess it doesn’t really matter how you look at it. I love them both so much. I don’t like to be in a position that I can’t meet the needs they both have for me. I try very hard not to get in such a position. I still consider it as having two husbands. Just I have a young relationship with one and a mature one with the other.

What is important for me in this? That I have finally gotten a grasp on how Gator views things. That I know he does not stay with Kitten just for my sake. That he seeks more with her. I hate that he hurts and I always will. But, I know now how open he is to her and that means some pain is inevitable.

I know this man is still my best friend. He is still the person I turn to first. I know I am more comfortable turning to Tech for things now as well. I know that Gator and I are closer than we have ever been. Sure, we’ve changed a lot. But, once again, we’ve made a journey together. I know that he and I trust each other to not let ourselves be mistreated. That just because I, or he, wouldn’t be willing to deal with something our gf/bf dishes out doesn’t mean it is wrong for us to believe those cons are outweighed by the pros for us. I know I trust he is always going to be there for me.

I’m so very happy to realize that, although we view it a bit differently, that we basically have the same outlook on how we feel about our loves. I’m happy that we can live with how we each do view things and be ok with them. I’m more than happy that Gator and I can talk so freely about these things.

Oh and, considering the texts and phone calls Tech and I received while on our date, we still managed to have a really nice time. We were just thankful to get some time together. And that’s exactly what Gator would like with Kitten. Time and an effort put forth on her behalf.

Hier ein Video, das vor über 10 Jahren gedreht wurde. Im Nachhinein kann man diesem Tag nur noch auf dem Digitalen Wege hochleben lassen. Dies wird hiermit getan

A 16-year-old boy dies in hospital after the quad bike he was travelling on collides with a car in Bradford…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: manchester flight. For a different topic see types of watches. The blog is also related to: air travel.

My hands are tied. And frankly is stresses me that I can not help either of my men with this.

Both of them are struggling with their relationships with Kitten. And I have to be honest here, I have just about given up on her. She and I do not have any more contact, for the most part, than is absolutely necessary. I’ve long reach the point of being tired of her “it has to be my way” attitude. And her not caring about any one else’s feelings.

Gator is hurting today. Kitten sent him a message that she will more than likely chose to work next weekend. His one weekend off a month. This will be the third weekend in a row that she has done something else. The first instance was when my family came for a visit and she pitched a fit. Was essentially mad that they would come on “her weekend”. They live in another state. They come when they can. And she was invited to come down as normal and to spend some time with them as well. Nope, she decided she was going to ask to work at her 2nd job that weekend without consulting any one else, not even Tech.

The second instance, last month, we understand. Their son was on leave from London and they had some things planned that he wanted to to. Fine, not a problem with either Gator or myself. Though she did get mad at us for not being at her house at 11:00 pm when they got home Sunday nigh

Now, she is planning on working the weekend he has off this time. Not this weekend but the next. First weekend in December. Once again without consulting anyone else, including Tech again. And when Gator showed a bit of hurt feelings, she fussed at him.

He is really debating whether his relationship is worth are the work…and, unfortunately, it is a lot of work on his part. Without much on her part. He deserves so much more.

Tech does as well. And he gets it worse than Gator. She really shows this man no respect at all. Constantly complains (and I know most of this because I see it and she actually tells me thinking I will agree with her), constantly says the children he has helped her raise (not biologically his) are HER children and not his and his opinions do not matter, refuses to spend time with him when he asks her and then wants to know why he doesn’t do anything with her, why he “doesn’t want her” and “do you even love me any more”.

WTF does she expect from him? From either of them actually?

Ok, I can do sex for sex sake. I can fuck someone when that is all it is. And just fucking is what I do with my men sometimes. But when fucking someone one you don’t have a real relationship with, you don’t need much else. When fucking or making love to someone you are in a relationship with, a little more than “ok, let’s fuck” is required.

For me, and I had this conversation with both Tech and Gator and even as men they agree, when I am dealing with someone I love I need the good out of bed as well as the good in bed. Now, the good in bed can make things better out of bed, true. But the good treatment out of bed is needed as well for things to be good in bed. If I were being treated like this by either Tech or Gator, I wouldn’t be much inclined to be seeking sex with the one treating me thus. In a committed relationship it is all connected.

Kitten just does not get this. And she wants sex when she wants and and only when she wants it is seems.

I’m worried about how this is affecting both Gator and Tech. I don’t say much to them about how I feel she is behaving because they are in enough pain as it is. And I would like to sit her down and just paint a picture of what she is doing but that isn’t a good option. And neither think it should have to be done that way. They feel what they are saying to her should be enough. And it should.

How do I deal with this? Have any of you come across something similar? What did you do?

Right now, I feel like I am just waiting to pick up the pieces.

Nach einer großartigen World Masters Tour 2009 mit Stopps in Wien, Belfast, Malta, Zypern, … kommt die weltweit spektakulärste Freestyle-Show:

Masters Of Dirt

„World Masters Tour 2010“

wieder nach Österreich in  das Schwarzl-Freizeitzentrum bei Unterpremstätten

Am 26. & 27. Feb. 2010 ist es wieder so weit …

Die verrückten Freestyle-Motocross Fahrer der Masters of Dirt sind wieder „back“ in der Steiermark – dem grünen Herzen Österreichs.

Die jungen Fahrer, sehr gut gebaut und meist tätowiert, rauben dem Publikum mit verrückten Tricks auf Motorrad,

BMX-Rädern, Snow-Mobile, Mini-Bikes und Quad in einer 3-stündigen Show den Atem.

Doch nicht nur die „dirty boys“ auf  ihren 2- oder 4-Rädern heizen dem Publikum ein, auch die berühmten Fuel Girls aus England zeigen eine außergewöhnlich heiße Feuer-Show.

Die regierenden Feuerwerksweltmeister aus Österreich werden wieder für Feuer, Flammen und Explosionen sorgen.

DJ Mosaken „Worlds finest DJ“ ist weltweit für seine Skills an den Turntables bekannt und wird auch in Unterpremstätten wieder für Stimmung sorgen.

Wer 2009 den doppelten Rückwärtssalto mit einem Motorrad gesehen hat und denkt schon alles gesehen zu haben, liegt definitiv falsch!!!

Die Szene entwickelt sich mit immer gefährlicheren Tricks täglich weiter und für 2010 haben sich die Crew und Fahrer von Masters of Dirt etwas ganz Besonderes einfallen lassen um eine noch spektakulärere Show zu bieten!

• Justin Hoyer – Backflip mit Snow-Mobil, wird erstmals zusätzlich auch mit seinem FMX-Bike sein Können unter Beweis stellen
• Jon Guetter – Backflip mit einem Quad
• BMX über die Motorrad-Rampen
• Remi Bizouard – amtierender FMX-Weltmeister wieder in Wien
• sexy Feuershow der FuelGirls
• Mini-Bike Show
• noch extremere Trains der Fahrer und Synchro-Shows
• tägliche Aftershow-Party bei Eintritt Frei mit der Liveband Austria EGON7

Auf jeden Fall steht fest, dass die Show noch atemberaubender, die Sprünge noch weiter und die Tricks noch gefährlicher werden.

Masters of Dirt ist ein 3-stündiges Spektakel für die ganze Familie mit dem gewissen Etwas!  Nervenkitzel pur ist garantiert!

- 24 % Weihnachtsaktion bis 24. Dezember 2009

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I don’t do a lot to guide readers to my blog. I enjoy the comments and feedback I have been getting though.

I started this blog to hopefully have the four of us share our thoughts and feelings on things. I’m the only one that posts and the others do not read my blog on a regular basis. I don’t think Kitten has at all. Which may be a good thing considering I have posted honestly at times about how I feel regarding her.

I continue this blog because I enjoy it and the people I’ve met and develop online relationships with. Knowing you aren’t the only one in a situation is helpful. I do hope that anyone who comes across this blog finds something to think about regardless of whether they agree with my lifestyle choice or not. And the greatest reward would be to help someone go through something similar and for them to go through it easier because of learning of our mistakes and triumphs.

So, I’m happy to have reached and surpassed 1,000 views yesterday. For me, that’s rather cool.

Today I love…

1. Watching New Moon with the girls and squeeing over the many hot, shirtless men

2. Dinner at the Phoenix Cafe: a little expensive, but good food!

3. Swing quad!

4. Watching EC and LC perform at the Rocky Horror Picture Show–aaaaaah! SO FANTASTIC!

We all have some kind of boundary or limitation in what we can offer in a polyamorous relationship. Some are like a yellow light, go slow here until we figure it out. Some are like a read light, do not go there at all. And then we have things that are a full green light…this is full speed ahead.

There’s this blog I read and she got me thinking with this post.

I guess I can relate to both her and Myke.

I, too, have a primary and secondary relationship. Though I truly do not like those labels, there are a few things that make them apply. Bottom line is, I will not leave Gator, could not choose anyone over him, instead of him. Period. Now, I find I’m lucky enough to have someone in addition to him. So, because of the unwavering permanence of my relationship with Gator, he is my primary. Others may say it is because he was there first. There is more to it than that. I have been through many more years with this man, gone through some hell fire with him, in regards to our relationship and peripheral family. Our lives are so intricately intertwined that there are times I have trouble remembering a time in my life he hasn’t been a part of it. I still have every intention of living out my life with him. That promise we made each other so many years ago is not up for negotiation. He is who I have always turned to, my best friend. I will continue to work hard to ensure all this stays the same.

Now, enter Tech. I was so slow to let this man into my heart. I guarded it against anyone other than Gator. I don’t let others in very easily. And I refused to fall into a relationship with Tech because Gator was in one with Kitten. But, worm his way in he did. But, was he prepared for what he would get? I don’t love halfway. If I love you, I give it my all. But, I couldn’t predict how deeply I would come to love Tech. In so many ways, I can not differentiate between my love for him and my love for my husband. And I’ll say once more how fortunate I am to have a husband that is ok with this. He is aware, as is Tech, because I have told them, that I have as much love for Tech as I do Gator. Mine for Gator is more aged and mature in experience. Just because my love for Tech is young, does not mean it is less.

In an ideal world, I would simply have two husbands. With all that entails. Living together, day-to-day life with all the struggles, stress and  financial commitments. That isn’t possible.

I am not Tech’s primary relationship. Kitten is. Although he and Kitten have been together a little over half the time Gator and I have, all the same things apply to his relationship that apply to mine with Gator. It’s more mature and fire baked. And that’s as it should be. I know this. And I am ok with this.

However, Tech and I could have a bit more to our relationship. A key component to that would be to live closer together so that we could see each other every day for at least a small fraction of time. And, while I am well aware of how comfortable Gator is with the depth of my relationship with Tech, I just can’t see that same amount of comfort within Kitten. An example, if something were to happen and Tech and I split up, I would be more than fine with Gator continuing to see Kitten. However, if something were to happen between Gator and Kitten and they split up (which was a possibility at one point) she has stated that she would NOT be ok with Tech and I continuing to see each other. She did admit it was because she wouldn’t have any one and would be jealous.

So, just like Myke, I would like more from Tech. And just like Blackdove, I know if the situation were reversed, it’s very likely I couldn’t give more to Tech. I understand why he is limited in some ways to how much he can give.

We are both lucky to have each other and I know that he loves me. And the man is getting better about expressing those feelings to me. He lets me know that he misses me. I haven’t always been aware of that since he doesn’t show things as openly as Gator does.

Carolina legend has it that if you kiss your date beneath the legendary Davie Poplar, then you will marry the one you kiss. Franklin Galleries third of the Traditions Collection,   ‘Legend of Davie Poplar’ by North Carolina artist Russell Smith is the first picture to capture the sacred tradition of the ‘kiss’ while capturing the splendor of North Campus.

Smith depicts a glorious fall day with the sun illuminating Old East – the first building built on campus – as students pass on the walkways behind the historic tree. Set in front of a backdrop of the South Building and the Old Well, this work is visually stunning and truly captures the essence of a fall Carolina day.

Gator and I made a quick trip to “the city” so to speak to get my new cell phone tonight. They didn’t have the one I want but I’ll just order it online.

However, once he found out that we were coming, Tech volunteered to stay in town so that we could all see each other for a bit.

It was a nice little, short visit. Kitten was very sleepy for some reason but once they got home she realized the medicine she had taken for her cold was NOT non-drowsy. Not a good thing for her at all.

We were all able to grab a quick bite to eat and talk amongst ourselves. Do a little catch up on a few things.

And at the end of it all, I got a really nice kiss or two or three from Tech. I wasn’t aware I needed that so much. I’m very grateful for the time I get to spend with him. Whether planned or spontaneous. Alone or in a group.

And a fellow blogger reminded me how lucky I am to have a husband who isn’t threatened by my relationship with and my love for Tech.

We have seen great progress today. All the wood around the quad was finally finished, the walls have started to be painted in “rustic orange”, the central grass area has its concrete retaining wall and even the guttering is being installed. So as you will see from the photo of the quad area, it is really coming together. Those who have seen the other photos on the blogs will see what a difference a few days and weeks can make. Needless to say, I looked like I’d been “tango’ed” by the end of the session.

Everyday we have our lunch just by the school classrooms. So the other big difference from the introductory video is the set of classrooms that are up and being used. The kids are using them and they no longer have to make the very long journey into the next town.

We stopped by the miraflores shop where a lovely lady sells sweets, lollies and knitted hats and scarves. (see photo of her and Claire A)  I’m tempted to say that the children don’t need any more ways to decay their teeth (they all seem to have an incredibly sweet tooth). Robin, my adopted mad-boy has terrible teeth and I hope he will be making serious use of the dental suite (pardon the pun) which will be the room on the far right  of the quad picture.

All the computer equipment has arrived and the internet connection is being installed over the next few days. At the grand opening after the end of next week there will be a skype video linkup with Bupa House for the grand opening if all goes well – which will be really cool, so that more people will be able to take part.

For my squeamish friends, the restaurant last night looked brilliant (see photo) but they didn’t serve guinea pig. So Shelley,my PA, is talking to me again. Who knows we may get to try it before we leave?

Tomorrow we have more work. Some people will be teaching the kids some english while the rest finish off some of the outstanding jobs. We also have the presentation by the children to us at the end of their school week and we will be performing a BUPA version of the YMCA song made famous by the Village People.  With verses in English and Spanish plus actions etc, all prayers for our deliverance will be welcome. Sadly Claire A has threatened to video it and publish unless we pay her a lot of money!

Mark Ralf

I’d heard about ELF quite a few years ago before I was really into makeup and had made a purchase and then waited for weeks before it was delivered.  I was instantly turned off from the makeup line.  eBay orders don’t take that long.  Women give birth in the time it took my order to arrive.  But then I took another look at them a while back and decided to give it another go.  I’m glad I did.  The shipping is still painfully slow but I know that in advance now and I’m not as eager and antsy waiting on it’s arrival.

I purchased a random lot of things and I instantly fell in love with this little quad.  Dramatic.  Yep, it was a buck and totally worth it.  The shadows are well pigmented, smooth as silk and totally blendable.

It features a white, light silver, dark silver and black.  The white is the most pigmented white I own.  The black is beautiful too.  My fav look is the light silver all over the lid, dark silver in my crease, black to darken the edges and white on my brow bone and inner corner.

Loves it.  Haulworthy.

Yamaha 700 Raptor

Quad Bike For Sale

Yamaha Raptor For Sale – This great example of the most popular Quad Bike on the road today is offered for sale by a private seller on www.myquadbike.co.uk . As you can see from the picture it is a red framed model Yamaha YFM 700R SE registered in 2008 with very low mileage.

At the time of publication it had 300miles recorded and is a Fully road legal quad bike with only 1 Owner from new. For more information on this Yamaha Raptor and many other Quad Bikes For Sale – please click on any of the links provided for Yamaha Raptor 700 - where you will be able to contact the seller.

Should you wish to keep up to speed with Quad Bikes in general, you can follow us on twitter for updates.

Guided tour on a quad bike through the Algarve countryside.
A fun-filled and exhilarating quad bike experience, alone or with friends and family, everybody just keeps coming back for more.
No quad riding experience needed! Quad bikes also available for rent.

I’m having some internal conflict on a few issues right now.

First, I am having some issues with Tech. He found a reason to turn me down twice this weekend when I made a suggestion to see him.  What gives? Then he found out his grandmother had been admitted to to the hospital for a heart attack and was on life support. He didn’t contact me in any way to tell me. What gives with that? He would have been one of the first people I called. Am I back to the point that I need to back off a bit for my sake? He used to tell me that he loves me as much as he does Kitten. I can’t tell you the last time he has talked to me about his feelings. He tells me he loves me and he tells me he misses me. Acts like I am very important to him. And as I write this, I’m starting to wonder if Kitten has been complaining about that. She does sometimes. He rarely lets me know this happens and never tells me when it is going on.

I just got off the phone with Tech. He called me. Seems he was sick this weekend. And he is acting just fine towards me. I sometimes forget that he is moody. I am and I should really recognize that when it is happening with him. It’s just that he normally lets things slide right on off his back.

The second reason I’m conflicted could have been part of the reason I was questioning how he feels.

I had dinner with my sister that lives in the town I do last night. I finally got some questions about being poly. I didn’t mind those at all. I have come to regret a bit telling them. Particularly my mother. I didn’t explain things well due to the way I had to do it. My mom is having the hardest time. Sister told me that she and the others feel that I am only in such a relationship so that I will not lose Gator. Not so.  I’m not sure about the others but the sister I saw last night is firmly convinced Gator and I will end up getting divorced. I can not get her to understand that things are actually very good with he and I right now. She says he is cheating me out of the love I should be getting. I told her I don’t get less love. Why is it so hard for people to understand that you aren’t allotted a certain amount of love to divvy out? Then she thinks I’m/we’re being cheated of time together. Well, the truth is I do get less time with Gator than I did. It’s just that we think the benefits make up for that. They also think I have compromised my faith. That I am trying to justify what I am doing.

The truth is, my family is not really acting different than most people would. They are responding to this in the worst case scenario I could come up with. Tech admitted today that his over optimistic attitude wasn’t a help to me. He really did not think that they would react this way. And this is the exact reason I debated so much on telling them.

I understand that they have a hard time wrapping their head around this whole concept. I’m just very upset that they do not have any more faith in me. That they think  I would let something interfere in my marriage of 25 years. That my commitment to Gator wouldn’t be my top priority. It would break my heart to have to live without Tech but I think it would almost kill me to have to live without Gator. He and I have been through so much. Basically came into adulthood together. I started dating him a few months before my 18th birthday and right after he turned 18. We married at 20 and had both or boys (as well as a miscarriage) by the time we were 27. Our children are mostly out of the house by now. Gator and I have looked forward to this time we would have together for many years now.

I really hate that they are so sure we are headed towards divorce. That’s the worst thing for me. And what I find depressing.

Quadzilla 500cc CUV 4×4

Quad Bike For Sale

On Road / Off Road Legal Quad Bike side by side cuv with a cvt hi/lo gearbox, selectable 4 wheel drive and front diff lock.This also has some fantastic features ,alloy wheels,hard top roof.
Has options of a rear tipping back body and 27 litre fuel tank. The colours available are black, red, silver and camo. The price includes 6 months tax and registration fee, and a 1 year parts and labour warranty included.

For more information about this Quadzilla Quad Bikes please go to www.myquadbike.co.uk where you can contact the seller.

Presented on www.MyQuadBike.co.uk by KIK ATV Racing

Honda TRX 250cc Hybrid For Sale

KIK built Honda 250 Hybrid, this red powder coated 450R frame houses a Honda CRF 250 engine along with race spec:
Renthal Quadracer handle bars
Pro design kill switch
Twist throttle
Cycra hand guards
Laeger +1 steering stem
GMX radiator hoses
Fox front shocks
Lonestar A-arms
Blingstar nerf bars
Houser swingarm
RPM dominator 2 rear axle
TCS conversion rear shock
Quadtec seat
Danger UK KIK 09 sticker kit

For more information on this Honda Quad BIke or to contact the seller by email, please click on the link.

Quadzilla Pro Shark For Sale

Quadzilla Pro Shark with many extra’s – Double A Arm Front Suspension, Disc Brakes Front And Rear, Extended Rear Axle +2, XFR Nerf Bars, 10″ Front Alloy Rims, 8″ Alloy Rear Rims, Pro Kill Switch Recent Rolling Road Tune 11.5hp too much to list contact
ROB on 07973 977995 or click on the following link to see more pictures of this Quad Bike For Sale and contact the seller by email.

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Kazuma Meerkat 50cc Kids Quad Bike

When choosing a Quad Bike for your child, you need to make sure that you buy a “Real Kazuma” Quad Bike. There are many people who say that they are selling one, but you must make sure it is a genuine Kazuma Quad Bike.

This 50cc 4 stroke engine can be tamed for a new rider, and over period the limiter can be moved to increase power and performance.

A semi-automatic gearbox system makes it easy to control the speed.

They have drum brakes front and rear, completely sealed in foot rests, throtle restriction and a safety cut out cord.

Each machine comes built and ready to go, all you have to do is connect the battery and your away.

Available in either Blue, Black, Red or Green means there should be a colour to meet every childs imagination.

ORDER NOW! And get the bike delivered just before Christmas saving you having to find space to hide it.

For more inforation regarding this listing, please click on the following link to see this Kazuma Meerkat where you can contact the seller.

Quad Bikes For Sale UK

2007 – Apache 250 RLX Quad Bikes For Sale – Only 1025 from New with FULL Service History – Manual 5 Speed Gear Box with Thumb Throttle and Never Been Off Road. Completely Road Legal Quad Bike. For more information and to contact the seller – Apache 250 RLX Road Legal Quad Bike