Winners of the St. Martin’s Press new ‘New Adult’ novel pitch contest, including yours truly, were announced here.

Why new adult?

We could ask Justin Halpern- he just made gobs of money being one.  At 28, he lives with his dad and was goofing off on twitter, when magic happened. Read about JH and find out for yourself.

Back to the question-

Because people 20-26 now-a-days aren’t full blown adults yet. They aren’t like people in past generations who were already strapped down with kids, a house and a job that they would stay with for the rest of their careers.

Lev Grossman wrote an interesting article in Time Magazine about “Twixters“- those between adolescence and adulthood.  With the advent of people like Diablo Cody who are self proclaimed teenage life addicts, well into their 30’s, we have this chasm of people who aren’t in highschool anymore, but aren’t in the traditional grown-up mindset. 

It’s very easy to remain in the dark about supposed adult responsibilities in our current times. Peter Pan Syndrome has been extended.  Demographics that used to be 18-24 are now 18-35.

The job market has not been kind to the new adult age group. Many are forced to stay in the range of their post adolescent angst because many have to move back in with their parents, creating this manchild/womanchild syndrome.

Click HERE for Grossman’s insightful article. 

Matthew McConaughey’s character in the movie Failure to Launch is still a twixter into his mid 30’s.

People now have “quarterlife crisises”.

There are web shows that focus on life immediately after college and how lost grads can be.

New York Magazine discusses Sean Patrick Murray’s ‘Under the Arch’.

How will these ‘New Adults’ grow up? Many refuse to- clubbing/working retail, etc. til their gray hairs come in.

How will they figure it out? They’ll have to on their own, eventually, right?

Kudos to Dan Weiss (who apparently helped lead the way into segmenting children’s books into: picture books, middle grade, and young adult) and S. Jae Jones at St. Martin’s Press– for creating ‘New Adult’ to help twixters read stories about others of their kind finding themselves and their ways, and to Georgia McBride for helping them find these tales.

Its been 16 months since that post.  Much has changed.

I’ve found someone that I love very much and can share my experiences with.

I’m respected by my peers and am confident of my management style.

I enjoy what I do every day, even though at times it is difficult.

I still do not see a lot of my brother, but he is well.

My parents still love me, and still don’t understand me, but I don’t need them to anymore.

This blog is meant for the journey after I get out of school.  It is a new page in my life and one that I want to keep a record of, as I should have done when I was younger.  I will briefly try to record memories from my youth, but then will start with a new perspective on what will hopefully be a new life.

Volgens mij een bekend fenomeen bij iedere twintiger.
Daar zit je dan in de fase waarop alles ’serieus’ wordt of geacht wordt te worden. (hoeveel keer kan je het woord ‘worden’ gebruiken in een zin nota bene?).
Je begint wel eens na te denken waar je leven naar toe gaat en wat er van je moet worden…
En dan worden de meesten depressief.
MAAR NEEN! Dat is volledig de foute ingesteldheid!

Je weet dat de midlife crisis er nog aankomt, dus eigenlijk kan je tijdens je quarterlife crisis hopen fouten maken om te voorkomen dat je ze nog maakt tijdens de midlife.
Eigenlijk is de quarterlife een goede voorbereiding met andere woorden. Grijp die kans!
Maak fouten, loop met je kop tegen de muur maar blijf vooral lachen!
Want de midlife crisis komt eraan en die is zo mogelijk nog erger!

So lately I’ve felt lost. Like REALLY lost. Not as in “Help! I can’t find my way home,” but as in “Who am I?” “What makes me happy?” and the ultimate “What in the world do I want to be or do for the rest of my life?”

I get in these funks from time to time. My mind will start spinning. I’ll come up with one or two hair brained “happily ever after” schemes (Think I Love Lucy meets Saved by the Bell’s Zack Morris) and then I’ll completely exhaust myself with the overwhelming process of actually following through on these ideas and voilá! I’m back at square one, sitting at my desk day in and day out doing mindless…mind numbing (okay, both) work. Argh. I suppose I can chalk it up to the whole quarterlife process, right? I’m twenty-five and still unsure. I know I’m not alone. There’s a ton of other people out there in the same boat as me and I’m almost positive any FabandFinclySav reader has questioned themselves and their goals every once in a while.

I guess I feel kind of stuck. I bounced around through majors in college, got a job in the financial services industry and bam! I had a newfound career path and followed it into the abyss. I got my B.S. in Financial Services, graduated business honors and passed exam after exam once I hit the “real world.” I’m struggling because I’ve hit a wall. Some days I wonder if I still have any interest in the industry at all. I was shocked at the level of sales involved once I got into the real workforce. I got into this industry because I want to help people. Not shove some product or package on them. I’ve realized I’m more excited about the prospect of educating people then I am about making money off of someone else’s money. (That’s a good sign, right?) I guess I figured out that was my passion a while ago. Hence the creation of this blog. It’s just the sifting through and figuring out where to go with that interest that is starting to drain me. Sigh.

Anywho, I think I finally snapped myself out of this round of questioning and have resorted to making a plan (shocking, right?). My problem is not motivation or lack of a vision.  I can picture myself as a successful, business savvy woman running my own company – helping others in one way or another… I’ve just got to get myself organized. Set goals and tackle em’. Make lists and cross things off as they get done.  I’ve always been  a firm believer and advocate of making things happen for yourself as opposed to waiting around for thing to happen to you. Guess it’s time for me to take a little slice of my advice cake instead of just dishing it out. And I’m ready! Coffee in hand, notebook out – I’m can conquer anything!

Moral(s) of my rant:

•  There is such thing as a quarterlife crisis
• A little self-reflection every now and then is good for the soul
•  I need to work on following through with things
•  I need to get some clear cut goals in mind as opposed to wandering around sampling a bit of everything
• Caffeine can always snap me out of a rut

From Joe

My day job sometimes requires more focus than I want to give. And the routine to get to that day job is more monotonous than I sometimes want to admit. I wake up every morning and proceed as I did the day before. Unwillingly, I turn off the alarm, check the blackberry, hit the shower, check the blackberry again, listen to cable news, put on my bi-monthly dry-cleaned suit, and armed with breakfast in my hand, meet my 25-35 minute commute.

I know. Basic. You already think you know me. I can hear your thoughts, “This guy probably goes to his weekly happy hour, takes his coffee the same way at the same time each morning, and says ‘mornin’ the same way to the same people every day.”

Well – you are right. And even though I enjoy more days than not at my job, I still need some motivation to propel me through the monotony.  So I unwind in the kitchen.

This is more than Monday pasta and chicken, pork chops on Wednesday, and a Sunday splurge of meatloaf for the roommates. (Although that sometimes happens too.) More often than not, I try to throw some curve balls. (I played a lot of baseball growing up.) I love food, I need food, and more importantly I can’t get enough of the way food works and how it tastes. That’s why when I come home at night, I strap on my apron and sharpen my knife. From coq au vin to cucumber and anchovy bruschetta; if you can name it, I’ve tried making it (or at least it’s on my list). And while baking always takes a back seat to stove top cooking, one day I may break down and purchase that Kitchen Aid artisan mixer and treat my friends to a cake or two.

Cooking is something that I can fully engage in because my mind doesn’t wonder as much. And it shouldn’t because if I get distracted I could chop off a finger or create something totally inedible. I want to please the pallets of my friends, but maybe being in the kitchen also helps relieve a pressure I place on myself to succeed at new things. And this pressure, in part, probably stems from the quarter-life crisis I currently face. Regardless the reason, I have a drive to cook and cook new things.

With all of that said, you can probably see why I was asked to contribute my scattered, inconsistent thoughts on cooking. More for my own benefit than yours. While this introduction was a long time coming, I think that I may enjoy being able to relay some of my thoughts about one of things that makes me smile the most. But be warned because aside from cook time or temperature references, I don’t use many recipes. In fact, I don’t even encourage recipes. Nevertheless, I do know that many people don’t have the time or patience to cook a dish several times in a night or even a week to perfect the flavors, so I’ll do my best to explain some of my antics in the kitchen.

Technology is changing the media industry in dramatic ways. From print to broadcast, the portability of technology has brought a huge shift to the way information and entertainment reach their respective audiences. Consider the popular American television and film directors Marshall Herskovitz and Edward Zwick. During the 1990s they were known for popular shows like “thirtysomething” and “My So Called Life.” But in the 21^st Century Herskovitz and Zwick’s production firm The Bedford Falls Company decided to try something new: launch a show about twenty-something Americans, featuring the first original programming for the Internet with a social networking component. Producer Josh Gummersall partnered with MySpace to bring “quarterlife” to a new generation of technologically savvy viewers.

The Bedford Falls Company is known for incisive portrayals of relationship and experience during life’s key passages. The term quarterlife refers to 20 to 30-year-olds who have lived an estimated one-fourth of their life. It is a time when many of life’s important decisions are made: careers are started, marriage is considered, lifestyle is chosen. In the series “quarterlife,” Herskovitz and Zwick enlisted directors, writers and producers from Bedford Falls to help tell the ongoing stories of six creative people in their twenties—a young journalist and writer, Dylan Krieger, played by Bitsie Tulloch videoblogs about her life and the life of her friends and is then surprised and excited to learn that she actually has an audience, which she learns after commenting on the life of her roommate Lisa, the aspiring actress. The show claims to feature a commitment to realism and the recognition of universal human themes through the truthful depiction of the way American young people speak, work, think, love, argue, and just have fun. And considering that the MySpace “quarterlife” page has nearly 13,000 friends who seem to relate to these characters, they must have done something right.

The first season featured 36 episodes, ranging in length from 7 to 13 minutes. After debuting on MySpace, NBC picked up the show and ran one episode as an hour-long drama series on Tuesday, February 26, 2008. It was the first time a major American TV network broadcast an Internet series. But after disappointing ratings the show was moved to the BRAVO network, which aired a marathon of “quarterlife” on Sunday, March 9, 2008.

The short, quippy Internet episodes did not translate to traditional television. Strung together, the episodes couldn’t hold the attention of viewers for the hour-long time slot. What had captured my attention for the novelty of it all and kept me coming back online didn’t have the same impact on network television. Maybe because expectations on the Internet are lower and “quarterlife” exceeded the quality of anything before offered, but expectations for prime time American television have to live up to the standards of show like “Friends” a sitcom that had already successfully explored the same subject matter.

The failure of the show to succeed on television is also because “quarterlife,” a drama not a sitcom, seemed overly dramatized, because those who watch television are actually older and not interested in the high drama of being twenty-something. The heavy weightiness through which the young creative characters and their young, creative followers view life is just so yesterday. The characters were far too into themselves, thinking they were geniuses that the rest of the world had failed to notice. The characters claimed to be surprised that people watched what they posted on the web. But that is exactly what they want—people to watch, to discover them. Their drama was disingenuous.

“Quarterlife” was a pioneer. The website and social networking component are still up and running and rumors of new episodes never came to fruition this past November. Advertisers continue to buy space and not only twenty-somethings, but also everyone who dreams of creative success as a writer, filmmaker, poet, actor, musician seems to be flocking to the site to share and perhaps be discovered.

The genius of “quarterlife” isn’t so much its original Internet programming. The genius of “quarterlife” is that it captures a slice of American culture—the narcissistic nascent adults gathering to lament how the rest of us just don’t get how smart, talented and brilliant they are.

And likely never will.

It’s been a couple of weeks since the last time I posted, throughout which I’ve continued to temp. Eventually there was less XML and more video editing, which wasn’t so bad. The other temps began to disappear one by one, which is a little disconcerting since no one has given me any indication as to when I’ll be done. I know this sounds promising, but it’s really not – this company has no intention of taking me on full-time. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

In the time since I last wrote, I turned 26. This milestone has caused me to start looking around at the other people my age, some of whom are doing much worse, and many of whom are doing much better than I am. I know, I know, we’re not supposed to compare ourselves to other people, blah, blah, blah…but you sort of can’t help doing it when you’re freaking out about whether or not you’ll have a paycheck in a month.

And then this thing happens where you have a strong chance of actually getting a job…and it’s so totally disappointing. I went to a job interview yesterday at the ugliest office you could imagine, and literally one of the first things the woman doing the hiring said to me was: “You’re temping in publishing? That’s what I wanted to do. Then I ended up here.” Her whole body literally deflated as she said it. I mean, seriously, how much more depressing does it get?

The bottom line is that this job is everything that I asked for, almost. It’s in a nice area outside of the city, it would use the skills that I have my degree in, and it would allow me to keep decent, regular hours. I didn’t think to ask for excitement or a place where I could move up in the ranks….or an aesthetically pleasing environment. Cubicleville is cubicleville, I thought. Boy, was I wrong. I walked in faced with cubicles with six foot high, electric blue walls, a waiting area with trash and plastic chairs, and a meeting room with a broken fooseball table in it. My new message to the universe is: I want a job that I can be excited about, that is in the same area outside the city, using skills I have, which will allow me to grow, in a pretty office that smells nice. Oh, did I forget to mention that it smelled funny?

I start thinking about things like passion, fulfillment, fun. What do I need to do to LOVE my work? Is it a matter of doing something fun? If I got paid enough, would it really matter that much if it was fun, as that would afford me to do more fun things in my regular time? And then there’s the whole idea that passion eventually turns to profit in any case, so wouldn’t that be the best place to start out?

Help!

This fine specimen with exquisite taste in fake facial hair is my summer heartthrob 2009, Mr. Scott Michael Foster from ABC Family channel’s “Greek”. Never in my life could I imagine that I’d be admitting to watching ABC Family but he before my 3 loyal readers I will say that ABC Family has produced a show that is entertaining, charming, and well scripted.

The only reason I even gave “Greek” a second of my time is because of the hilarious..the incomparable Clark Duke.

After watching him and Michael Cera on the web series, “Clark and Michael“, I am willing to watch this guy do anything on the screen. I saw the first few commercials for “Greek” 2 years ago and it looked insanely cheesy and moral driven so I put my undying love for Clark Duke on hold.

In comes the summer of 2009, lo and behold, television is crap.  I turned to my ever loyal Hulu.com and decided I was finally going to give in and I was not disappointed. Greek is a dramedy following students at the fictional Cyprus Rhodes University that partake in the school’s fraternities and sororities. Though there are well over 10 regualr characters in the cast it’s the main character that seems the most familiar. Rusty Cartwright  is an anti social virgin math geek who is a mere freshman trying to get his footing in an uber social environment. After 4 minutes of the first episode it became scarily clear. This show is essentially Judd Apatow’s funny and  ill fated “Undeclared” if you dipped it in a light coating of sugar. I really miss Undeclared.

Binge drinking, homosexuality, balancing relationships,  and growing up are just a few of the college riddled issues the good looking but accessible cast have to deal with in the first season. Major life issues arise and are conquered with charm and ease allowing a snarky desensitized viewer like myself to empathize for the misunderstood hot guy, pretty and vapid girl, the innocent geek, the preppy douche and the funny uber Christian prototype (played to perfection by Duke). While Greek won’t be changing my life or affecting my credit score, it is definitely entertaining to watch. Lead bad boy with a heart of gold Scott Michael Foster, from the short lived yet Danger Bowie approved series “Quarterlife” is quite the yummy devilish morsel. I salivate in darkness.

When you finish watching the latest skanky VH1 reality show, after the 45th repeat of CSI,  finish up your 91st season of the Bachelor, get  on line and catch up on a series with some promise. At the very least  keep one more scripted show on the air.  Thanks be to Greek for getting me through the dog days of 2009’s crap television.

Do you like my little pun in that, it’s like myself saying, “help!” but also “self-help”.  HA!  I’m a nerd.

 Okay, what am I blabbing about today.  My never ending quest to improve myself or to start on some sort of challenge.  I have things going on in the DIY home improvement department, physical department, mental department & of course, financially.

 Physically:  I am currently in week 3 of the Big 10 Challenge, which is actually going well.  It’s not taking anything out of me – I’m not starving and I don’t live in a gym and the pounds are slowly melting.  I love the low pressure of it yet the high accountability.

 DIY Home Improvement:  Got an estimate of $300 for a new faucet.  I was told it was “easy” to do.  Bought new faucet and assisted Tony in trying to install it last night.  FAIL.  I will probably have to end up calling a professional because I either need a scary saw that will cut through metal or will need to find the Incredible Hulk.  Both scare me equally.

 Mentally:  I am struggling to stay here and live out my career so far away from my love.  It’s so tempting to not say, “F*ck it” and rent out my place to a nice, trustworthy couple and go and wait tables, teach yoga, and children’s ballet in Virginia.  Living in a luxury apartment for about 1/3 of what I’m paying.  My parents & certain friends would shit themselves if I gave up the career I have right now.   I just can’t help but feel like my life is on “pause” when we aren’t together.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for everything I have…it just feels that much more real/special when I have my partner to share it with.

 So I’m trying to stay POSITIVE on the great things I have here in California, the family, the friends, the dream job plus perks, the dance, and of course starting at the culinary institute in October.

 Financially:  Thanks to a good friend, Marion, who is ridiculously Type A (in the most adorable way ever!) who is helping me pay off ALL of my credit cards.  My financial goal?  To be DEBT free by the time Tony graduates from ODU.  That is Spring 2012.  I think I could do it.  That way, when it’s time to start our lives together, I’ll only be making payments on my property. 

 Marion introduced me to www.mint.com.  I highly recommend it to anyone with multiple bank accounts, credit cards, loans, savings, etc.  It’s amazing.

 I’ll be starting Dream Dinners soon, which should cut my food costs down but more than ½ and I’m cutting back on BOTH (sad face) Tissu and Bikram.  Other areas I can slim back on are spa days (sad face – but there are $15 foot massages now!), gas (can’t drive home every chance I get), & possibly looking into a vespa.  We’ll see!

 Those are my self help projects for the meantime…and yes, I still have photos to update.  Eep!

Why I have started this blog, you may ask. I am only 22, unemployed, and a student. I am still learning, I can’t give you insights for living a 50 year old life..but I can take you through a journey in my quarter-life. This is not about saily ramblings as much as it is really trying to find myself. I thought I knew who I was — perhaps, foolishly. I found out at about 20 that I have no idea where I am going. I am at a loss for happiness. I’m at a loss for things I like to do. I find myself uncessarily struggling with the things I know I can change, yet have been to scared to. This is my time.

My life has been up in the air for the past nearly 2 years. I moved in with my boyfriend a month before I turned 21. His job was in Maryland, aand I uprooted from my home in NJ. 8 months later, his job moved to Georgia, and I have been here since. I haven’t made much of an effort at being happy. I missed my family, my friends, knowing there was a home. I never bothered to consider the place I was living as my home. It was like a temporary shelter, a place where I can sleep until I move back “home”. I know I’m not going back. He and I have been together 2 1/2 years, and I plan to marry him someday. Or at the very least refer to myself as his wife, change my last name, and be “married”…without it being on paper. Divorced family issues — it’ll come out in posts, I’m sure. So, I am in GA and I look around and think “damn! now I am miserable”. Perhaps not miserable, but something close enough. I gained weight, I lost “hobbies”, I had to quit my job as a pre-k teacher…needless to say, I don’t think it would make anyone happy. This is my journey. My journey to be happy. Happy without strings attached. Finally feleing good about myself. Not needing praise from my BF or anyone else, not being so unhealthy, not allowing myself to live as a young woman and piss it all away. I want to be a better person, a better friend, a better citizen, a better role model for my mom and brother, a better girlfriend. I want to be me. Not shrouded in bitterness or unhappiness.

This is my journey. It’ll be long, maybe bitchy, maybe funny. Are you along for the ride?

A story of mine is featured in Quarterlife.com’s “best of” content this week.  I’m not sure how or why these things are chosen or picked, or maybe they are totally random… but still, pretty cool.

thisisme.

‡ My life upto this point would make for pretty great television. The thing is, that’s just how I’ve always thought my life should be, with great editors, of course. I think that when you’re a tyke, you think up these dreams, based on family, upbringing, location, amount and type of exposure to media, and finally, tax bracket. Then, some kind of mathematical equation starts calculating, and eventually equals this perfect answer, the life you predetermine for yourself. This answer is unique to you, and [work with me while I philosophize my thoughts to text] is something that is only understood through whatever level of common sense you happen to be born with.  That said, my definition of common sense is – the level of reasoning that allows one to relate to a whole, no matter what that whole may be. Rephrased; how one externally adapts to the set of circumstances, people, places, etc., that they are faced with. I suppose that’s my M.O. [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/modus+operandi]. So, that’s it – a synopsis of how I think, and I’ll try to blog with the aforementioned always in mind for consistencies sake. More about me to come. Enjoy the show. •

To make conversation in the office bathroom, or to awkwardly avoid eye contact? That’s one really good question. It’s sort of akin to the awkward silence when you’re in an elevator, all parties staring intently at the red numbers that flash what floor you’re on. Except it’s actually more awkward, if you think about it, especially if you get caught with a co-worker who has obviously just – er – gone number two.

That’s my deep thought for the day. It was a very long 8 hours of zipping up files and dropping them into code. Now all I want to do is go to bed (and try not to dream in XML).

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The cool thing about this temporary position is that it’s slowly wiping away all those fears that I had about working in an office. My last experience was a bad one in a small office of seven people. Everyday there were meetings that lasted three or four hours…the same seven people, the same topics, day in and day out. It was horrifyingly painful.

But here, I’m given a project, left to do it, and I get to work while listening to my music. So I guess I’m learning about the things that I will need in my long term job. I’m discovering that I like being given projects that I can focus on, which seems to make time fly by. I like to work solitarily, but I do like having people around. And it’s imperative to work with normal people, preferrably those close-ish to my age.

Although the people in this office are nice, I am still a little befuddled by their complete disinterest in one another’s actual lives. Speaking to friends who work regular office jobs, this seems to be deemed “professional,” but it seems sort of unfriendly. On the other hand, I think that this might be exacerbated by the fact that I’m just a temp – it’s the way that you’re not supposed to make friends with the farm cow, because it’s just going to get slaughtered, you know?

Anyway, I’ve started crafting entire background stories from the bits and pieces I’ve heard. For example, the project manager of the stuff I’ve been working on: probably about a year or two younger than me (he just finished his MA), total mama’s boy (she brought him his lunch one day), and actually a pretty cool guy (he has yet to give me the Jimmy Fallon “Mooooooove,” despite the fact that I couldn’t find an icon that was right in front of my nose, etc., etc.). But at the same time, whenever it comes to anything not work related, ie: conversation in the kitchenette, it’s so awkward!

Me: “Hi – did you have a good weekend?”

Project Manager Guy: “Yeah, except I was sick for most of it, so…”

Me: “Ah, yeah.”

Project Manager Guy:  Squirts barbecue sauce on sad bits of rotisserie chicken in silence. Then leaves.

Uh…yeah. Not great with the conversation. On the other hand, there’s a woman who I watched put five half-and-half creamers in her coffee today. Yes, I was keeping count, because she was taking a luxuriously long time doing it while telling me – again – about how swamped we’re going to be this week, all the while hiking up this peasant skirt that she either wears every single day or has multiples of. I kind of like her anyway, though, because at least she isn’t awkward in the kitchenette.

It so often feels like I’m being sneaky, observing the rituals of some foreign tribe – “office anthropology,” is what JR calls it, and I have to say that it’s a pretty brilliantly perfect phrase for it. From behind the three plastic walls of my cubicle, I’m listening and watching and figuring things out. Maybe one day soon I’ll be able to decipher the seemingly endless dance around the microwaves.

I started scheduling my credit card payments for this month, and it occurred to me that I might not actually be working at the end of August, if this whole temping thing tapers off, as it will. The reason that the company has so much work right now is because they prepare materials for schools, and school is right around the corner. Which will leave me…where, exactly?

So I did the opposite thing of what I should have done: I started looking for jobs. Prior to the whole credit card scheduling panic attack, I’d already had a massive headache, which only grew as I began scrounging around the web for work. I’ve been reading a book called Get the Job You Want, Even if No One’s Hiring. In it, the author describes this exact panic-driven reaction of getting desperate for work — so desperate that you start applying for jobs that you know you would be totally miserable doing, that you’re under- or over-qualified for, or ones that just aren’t you. I’ve decided to name this disease Desperation Dumbness. Once knocked over the head by your own lack of employment, you become rendered incapable of being reasonable during your job search.

In the few months that I’ve decided to seriously begin looking for a regular job, I’ve applied to a handful that seemed written just for me. Take, for example, the Editorial Assistant position within the English department of a major textbook company. Not only do I have a Bachelor’s degree in English, but I also have a Master’s degree in publishing. Oh yeah, and that internship I did at an educational publisher, which seemed to me like it would be the cherry topping (mmm…and chocolate drizzle?)! And yet, the response that I’ve gotten to my job-specific cover letters and resumes? Chirp. Chirp. Chirp. That’s right, crickets. In other words…nothing.

But this blog is about finding the job that inspires excitement, and I have to think that perhaps this whole lack-of-response thing has to do with the universe saying that none of these positions is the right one for me — that when it is the right one, it will be obvious and perfect. I just sort of wish the universe would hurry up a little bit and show me what that right thing is, because recently I feel like I’ve been struck with Despration Dumbness so often that I’m beginning to think that I am, perhaps, unemployable.

***A sound word of advice: don’t schedule credit card payments when you’re totally under the influence of PMS. Don’t look for jobs at that point, either. And stay away from cake.

This whole temping thing is kind of fun, for reasons that have relatively little to do with the actual work. Office life is a culture that I’m unfamiliar with — aside from a brief stint that I had at a small non-profit, I’ve never actually worked a nine-to-five job with a commute and a cubicle and all of that. In fact, now that I think about it, neither of my parents ever had that kind of job either. As a result, I get the feeling that I have approached the whole thing with a bit more zeal than these people usually see in their temps.

I actually ended up working in the office the day of my interview, so while everyone else walked around in their khakis and short sleeved shirts, I was sitting my designated cubicle in a $200 suiting dress and black snake skin pumps, which felt kind of ridiculous. At the same time, I was just glad to have the chance to wear the dress at long last. It had been at least two months since the purchase of my “interview outfit,” — the dress, at least. The weekend before the interview, the lovely and supportive JR went on a caper with me to find shoes that would strike just the right balance between classy and professional and smart. Apparently they sort of worked.

So part of the fun of all of this is the clothes, because as a freelancer I usually end up sitting around in my schlubbiest stuff in my living room-turned-office, and now I get to pull out all of those pencil skirts and wrap dresses and blouses that I never really have an excuse to wear. Yesterday, the guy temping in the cubicle next to mine peeked over and saw me in my black dress pants, gray patent leather heels, and ruffle neck blouse and said, “So you didn’t get the memo about casual Fridays either, huh?” He was wearing leather dress shoes, tan slacks, and a collared shirt. Everyone else was running around in flip flops, shorts, T-shirts, and jeans, which gave off the false impression that they might just be popping into the office on their way to Target or something. The office manager was wearing jeans, and when he sat down you could see that his red and white socks had skulls scattered across them.

I didn’t tell Temp #2, but I secretly kind of like getting dressed up for this job. Part of it, I know, is that it’s a little bit like getting into costume for this part that I’m acting out. Even packing my lunch each day gives me jollies that I know would never last if this were a permanent position. Before bed, I’ve been putting together little balanced meals – a salad of spring greens, cherry tomatoes, and avocados. For once, my tiny tupperware gets used, for salad dressing or little slices of Gouda. I fill up a 33-ounce bottle of water and stick it in the fridge so that it’s cold for the morning. The commute itself is interesting to me — Aha! So this is what everyone else does every morning. I had previously never seen anyone have road rage to the extent that it looked as though their mouth had opened up to the size of their head. All these routine tasks are entertaining to me in the way that it was entertaining to put on my mom’s high heels when I was a little girl – fun for a bit, but obviously only because it wasn’t forever yet.

Honestly, the work itself isn’t that bad – I know what to do, they leave me to it, and I get to listen to my iPod while I work away. But it’s not exactly leading anywhere, and it definitely isn’t what I want to do for the rest of my life. There is nothing about it that I look forward to; nothing that excites me. So where does this leave me? Well, at the very least, it’s one more job on my ever-growing list that I know I don’t want to do. And thus, the quest continues.

You can go read the “Me” section after I apologize for the lack of creative titling. I apologize, so you may go if you so please. If not, I’ll explain just a bit more before I get down and dirty about…well, about this blog, I guess.

My name is Kristin (Kris) Gyllyin and I’ve always said that, if someone were to film my life, it would make an immensely entertaining movie. The people I meet tend to be incredibly fascinating and strange and, sometimes, dramatic. Or maybe (and I’ve very seriously considered this possibility) I just extract pieces of their personalities and hold onto them as though that’s the only definition that could ever possibly exist for who that person actually is. In turn, when I talk about them, they seem much more interesting than they may, in fact, be. Does this make sense? Anyway, I decided that, due to these people and such, I needed to document it–if only for my own sanity. Being a “twenty-something” is confusing, and this is my therapy that I hope will make you, at the very least, smile. The constant feeling of failure seems so universal at this age; it truly is a “quarter-life crisis”. This blog is the breakdown of what is sure to be my breakdown.

Check what some of our readers have had to say this past week. To continue the conversations — or read the whole comments — click the links.

On quarterlife:

“…especially with all the recent layoffs, quarter-lifers like myself are stuck answering the age-old question: what should I do with my life? I have a full-time job I enjoy and am still struggling… The best thing about the mid-20s is that you can dress and act like a teenager (and get away with it) and dress and act like an upwardly mobile junior executive (and get away with it). The worst part about the mid-20s: trying to decide which of those images accurately reflects YOU.”          — Timithie

“I’m getting stressed out just reading those questions! I’ve been trying to decide on a car to purchase for five years. FIVE YEARS. I can make great decisions at the office – but when it comes to this… hybrid? 4-wheel drive? fun? practical? lease? buy? 2-door? navigation? red? leather? floormats? cupholders? aaargh. Hello, indecisions and paralysis. It’s embarrassing, frankly. Although, should I be embarassed, or embrace it? Share it, or hide it? Fake it, or own it? I digress.” — Page

“It’s so wonderful to have the plethora of options that we do…but I have no idea which way to go. Some of the stuff I have absolutely nailed down – I know what kind of clothes I like to wear; I know that I DON’T want to be a mathematician… As for the rest…I’m at a loss.” — Marjorie

About women and their choices:

“I am 65 years old and have had the option to work or not work throughout my marriage. …Up to about 35 I used to worry about why I liked to change and explore new things and what was wrong with me that I could not find one goal or profession and stick to it for life like Georgia O’ Keefe did with her passion for painting. But, at around 40, I decided to accept that this is just who I am… I have continued to and hope to never stop changing, learning and growing as the years go on and love it that way.” — Dottie

“I am mostly happy with my job — it’s challenging and well-paid and flexible — but at the same time I constantly feel like I’m just dancing around in circles on the fringes of “the dream job.” I also struggle with how big and important a role I want career to play in my life anyway. I came out of law school thinking I wanted career to be my entire life, and the older I get, the less important career seems and the more important the rest of life seems…” — Anne

“What a relief to find that I’m not the only one who has experienced this phenomenon! I keep reading everything, thinking, “Yes, yes, yes!” My sister used to tease me that I was on the semester system in life because I was always moving and changing jobs. But really I was just worried that I was missing my “true calling” or not doing enough to fulfill my parents’ expectations after all that schooling. .. Now I’m almost 40 and starting yet a new career… Looking back I can see how the choices and self-inflicted expectations led to a major paralysis in my mid-20’s…” — Marisa

“One of my favorite things about being a woman, and about women in general, is how they tend to be better at adapting to change than men. I feel this is a real benefit when you look at the number of choices before us these days…You have to bend and mold and be flexible to be successful in life and I see that women really tend to show this strength. No wonder we have so many choices before us…women rule. I say “Bring it ON”!! — Ani

“Yes, I swim in a sea of confusion over my options! Being a woman who feels she is unlimited, I’ve spent too much time debating my opportunities instead of picking one path and sticking with it. I can’t complain; life has been good. I do, however, feel concern that I might be overlooking the one thing that is my “calling.” From orchestra conductor to herpetologist to cartographer to photographer to writer, I’ve wanted to do it all. I also know that I can, we all can…”          — Lauren

On “Commencement”:

“…I’m curious to see how women (or men) from previous generations would relate to the characters. One interesting tidbit, I thought, was from one of the character’s mothers, who said — while cooking dinner and doing 90% of the housework — that women with careers and families makes life easier for one gender… men.” — Colleen

On the pressure of the passion versus paycheck dilemma:

“I feel like I have dealt with this issue my entire life, just on a slightly different level. What if you don’t have a passion? It always seems to come up: What would you do if time, money and experience didn’t matter, how would you spend your time? Honestly, I have no idea. … When I did my corporate job for 10 years, I did it well (I have the annual reviews to back that up), but it wasn’t what I lived for. I worked to live, not lived to work. My real life was always on the verge of something else. The verge of what? who knows. I was talking with a friend this weekend who basically thought it was pointless to work in a job that wasn’t emotionally, spiritually, and creatively fullfilling. I thought good for her, but what about everyone else? I kept thinking, this is a first-world problem and really doesn’t apply to much of the world.” — Joanna

On the happiness gap:

“… with so many choices and so many opportunities, it seems like women can now choose careers that they want to pursue rather than doing something they have to do. Unfortunately, our society seems to encourage us to seek out jobs that pay the most money rather than jobs that we enjoy. Finding a high-paying job you love isn’t easy. Of course we all need money to live, but is it worth doing something that causes so much stress just to have the money? Perhaps the women that are the most anxious, stressed and medicated are those that are pursuing high-paying, high-stress jobs that they hate – jobs that in the past may have been held primarily by men.”  — Jennifer