ExxonMobil reports the biggest quarterly U.S. profit ever. I wonder how much of those record profits were invested and will be invested into developing new energy technologies, into green energy, and updating the company’s energy distribution infrastructure. ExxonMobil broke its previous record amount of almost $12,000,000,000 in the second quarter to almost $15,000,000,000 in the third quarter. I like using zeros, because it puts things into perspective. From The Huffington Post:

Exxon Mobil Corp., the world’s largest publicly traded oil company, says it shattered its own record for the biggest profit from operations by a U.S. corporation, earning $14.83 billion in the third quarter. bolstered

Bolstered by this summer’s record crude prices, the Irving, Texas-based company said Thursday that net income jumped nearly 58 percent, or $2.86 a share in the July-September. That compares with $9.41 billion, or $1.70 a share, a year ago.

The previous record for U.S. corporate profit was set earlier this year, when Exxon Mobil earned $11.68 billion in the second quarter.

Revenue rose 35 percent to $137.7 billion.

She's smokin'. . .in more ways than one! (Her foot is on fire.)

I have a question for the media-at-large.

I can understand why the new FDA regulation of tobacco received minimal media coverage. Only 20% of Americans still smoke, according to the latest data available from the American Cancer Society, so I can see that really not being much of a big deal, as not even a quarter of the country’s population is affected by the decision.* Hell, I can even support the proposed changes in tobacco regulation.

But, in this time of very high gas prices, which affect 136% of Americans (that figure was provided by Exxon-Mobil’s accounting department), how does the news that, for the April-June quarter of 2008, Exxon-Mobil posted the biggest quarterly profit ever posted by a US Corporation (which was somehow still lower than expectations) NOT get splashed all over front pages and websites everywhere? I found that on CBSnews.com by accident! Okay, yes, if you check the business sections of websites and newspapers you’ll find it there, but for myself and many people that I know, the business section doubles as a powerful sleep aid. This should be front page news! So why isn’t it, American media? Why isn’t Congress acting on that instead of adding new responsibilities to the already overburdened and underfunded FDA?

The really shocking part? As high as that profit is (and realize that’s after Exxon-Mobil paid a $300 million settlement over the Valdez spill in Alaska in 1989), they only beat Shell (which is not an American company) for quarterly profits by $3 million. These people are making gi-fucking-normous amounts of money while you’re struggling just to fill your gas tank and cancelling your family’s summer vacation because it’s too expensive to drive anywhere cool. (The media’s solution? The Staycation! Have fun at home! My solution: vicious beatings of oil company executives until gas prices go down.**)

You’re having to sell your truck, which is useful to you at work and at home, or the SUV or van you actually use for carting around your 2.5 children and their friends, to buy a subcompact that might have all the speed, proper engine function, and combined cabin/trunk capacity of a large pumpkin because you can’t afford gas anymore while oil executives are receiving outlandish personal compensation packages, sending their kids to great private schools while you’re trying to figure out how to arrange for daycare because your kid’s school had to cut back to four days a week due to high gas prices, and buying up the houses that you had to sell because Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac shafted you on your mortgage.

An Exxon executive prepares to pull even more money out of America's ass. Hope he takes the watch off first.

Look, America, I’m just going to say this flat out: wake the fuck up. Get up. Get mad. Get angry. Demand answers from your senators, your representatives, your President especially, and oil companies. They all need to be reminded that in this country, the people have all the power and they have to answer to us. Tell them you’re not falling for their smokescreen public appeasement acts or their hand-wrangling “what can we do?” bullshit any more. Tell your presidential candidates you don’t want to see Paris Hilton and Britney Spears in commercials (not with clothes on, anyway); you want some fucking answers and you want them right fucking now.

They’ve done more than wrong us; they’ve completely betrayed us in order to profit handsomely from our misery, and they need to pay for it. It’s our job as citizens – yours, mine, everybody’s – to make sure that they do.

VS – 8.1.08

* – Also by the way, the high taxes on cigarettes and settlements against tobacco companies are what’s currently paying for your schools, roads, public works projects, and many other public services. The 20% of Americans currently paying the high taxes and the settlements would like to say a few things to the American people, which I will briefly list here: “You’re welcome, you f&%$ing ingrates.” “That factory smokestack over there puts out more carcinogens and pollutants in one hour than I will in my entire life, you goddamned idiots.” “If you really have nothing better to do than get fired up about smokers, may I suggest you take some time to kiss my smoking butt.” And last, but not least, “what are you going to do when you’ve stamped out smoking and your politicians are left with nothing else to demonize, no more use of the tobacco industry as a smokescreen for all the crap they don’t take action about, plus a horrendous budget shortfall, jerkholes?” This message paid for by The National Association Of Smokers Who Wish Americans Would Wake The Fuck Up And Realize That There Are Far Bigger Problems That Need to Be Dealt With Immediately.

** – Please don’t actually go out and do this. That said, if you do and get caught, please don’t mention my name.