When there is an established body of knowledge with supporting institutions supplied by a steady flow of new talent that demonstrates, teaches and promotes an industry based on that body of knowledge change is not only unlikely it is resisted.

Even though change is the only thing that doesn’t change in our world people fear change and institutions not only loath change but ignore it unless realistically threatened.

Take American football, for example, There was the money and interest in new football teams in the major cities but for many years the National Football League refused expansion. Then the rival American football League was formed in 1960 which grew and soon played on an equal par with the NFL resulting in a championship game. NFL was forced to recognize the power of the AFC and merged with it.

Examples like this could fill volumes, but the volume I want to fill is about the Bacon-Shakespeare problem. When I became aware of the problem a few years ago I thought censorship because the evidence linking the author Bacon with the name Shakespeare was clear and convincing. To my knowledge no new evidence has come forth in decades because the subject was thoroughly researched around the turn of the last century and before.

My amazement and astonishment that Baconian spear-shaking hasn’t exploded on the literary scene decades ago has made me suspicious of censorship in higher institutions of learning.

They, control the publishing houses.

They discourage the study of Bacon’s seven part Great Instaturation which included the plays.

They don’t want to give up the financial gravy train of the Stratfordian cottage industry.

They are lazy and don’t want to make the effort to re-tool and learn the deeper meaning of the plays as well as re-look at most of Elizabethan literature.

They want to maintain their little fiefdoms of personal theory.

They are a lot of people involved in the Stratfordian bureaucratic system no one wants to challenge from within because they can’t – it’s to big.

Dominant systems like Stratfordianism is understandable to me and I am realizing why the believers scoff at the Baconians in spite of the contradictory evidence. The average Stratfordian, I believe, loves the truth as much as the next person but to truly wade into the vastness that is Baconism where they have no where to go and nothing to hang on to is unlikely.

Where-as William Shakespeare has mountains nay worlds of material and warm opportunities Bacon offers the cold raw evidence and that’s just about it and expects the average Shakespeare fan to jump into an abyss without a bungi chord.

“The Shakespeare Code” is a break-through biography because Fellows uses ALL (sorry for yelling) relevant and available information to create a coherent, new, and exciting biography of the man behind the Shakespeare mask. My meager efforts in The Author Speaks series in RollingLogBlog is to that end.

We need more people like Fellows and other scholars to put their pen where their mouth is and analyze the plays from a Bacon point of view. We need more interest in Bacon-as- Shakespeare because I believe the staleness of the current Shakespeare standards will continue to allow the marginalization of Shakespeare and literature generally. I fear Shakespeare will die unless the institution changes.

Come too think of it, interest in Shakespeare must actually be far lower than scholars think.

For boards of education to tolerate the absurd interpretations of the sonnets for decades shows true disinterest.

For the public and Hollywood to ignore the incredible drama that went on in the last Tudor family shows true disinterest.

For the publishers of textbooks to ignore the Northumberland Manuscript as well as the plain logic of Twain and others shows true disinterest.

For a biography filled with few facts and fewer relevant facts but an abundance of distortion to be a Pulitzer Prize finalist shows true disinterest.

The Startfordian industry feeds on the disinterest and the average fan has no solace but the shiny toys from a Shakespeare Santa.

Education? In school we were introduced to the plays and the sonnets using old worn out concepts but did we care if we were taught falsely?

No.

Shakespeare is the literature we all have in our library but but don’t read and don’t want to read.

Why?

No punch. Now,I adore everything Bacon wrote but here is an example of part of the problem. Almost every American kid has played soccer but Americans don’t watch soccer for the lack of scoring. The average educated American thinks Shakespeare is great as long as he/she doesn’t have to read it because it’s tedious and lacks scoring.

The AFC of Bacon could change all that by developing a competitive product, a new league, one that is interesting, makes points and will make money. It can’t lose. If only a moderate movement of Bacon scholarship wells up the NFL of Stratford would be forced to merge and then the Superbowl of Literature, Science and Art will result for everyone’s benefit.

Just thinking about it makes me hungry for a B.L.T.E. (Bacon, Leicester, Elizabeth Tudor and Essex – the last Tudor family).

DAY THIRTY-ONE FOR SOUTHAMPTON IN THE TOWER
THE TIME OF HIS EXECUTION IS ALMOST UPON US
Sonnet 57
I, My Sovereign, Watch the Clock for You
10 March 1601

Crowds of London citizens have been gathering in the mornings for the expected execution of Southampton.  Meanwhile Oxford addresses his royal son directly as “my sovereign” and states his duty as his “slave” or “servant” (vassal in service to his Majesty the Prince) to “watch the clock for you.”  In the ending couplet, Oxford records the fact that the bargain for his son’s life will include his own obliteration from the official record as the author of the works attributed to Will Shakespeare.  Oxford’s popular pen name is his gift to Southampton, who therefore has both a “Will” and a royal will.

A beheading on Tower Hill

This sonnet begins the fourth chapter of ten sonnets apiece, a chapter ending with Sonnet 66, the fortieth sonnet on the fortieth day after the night of the Rebellion when Southampton was imprisoned.

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do till you require.

Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour
Whilst I (my sovereign) watch the clock for you,
Nor think the bitterness of absence sour,
When you have bid your servant once adieu.

Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,
But like a sad slave stay and think of nought
Save where you are how happy you make those.

So true a fool is love that in your Will
(Though you do any thing) he thinks no ill.

The Tower

1 BEING YOUR SLAVE, WHAT SHOULD I DO BUT TEND

SLAVE = servant to a prince or king, as in “your servant” in line 8 below; same as one who serves “in vassalage” as in “Lord of my love, to whom in vassalage/ Thy merit hath my duty strongly knit” – Sonnet 26, line 1; “Thou factious Duke of York, descend my throne, and kneel for grace and mercy at my feet: I am thy sovereign.” – 3 Henry VI, 1.1.74-76; “Be humble to us, call my sovereign yours, and do him homage as obedient subjects” – 1 Henry VI, 4.2.6-7; “Myself I throw, dread sovereign, at thy foot.  My life thou shalt command” – Richard II, 1.1.165-166

It is the curse of kings to be attended
By slaves that take their humours for a warrant
King John, 4.2.208-209

That God forbid, that made me first your slave
Sonnet 58, line 1

TEND = “That millions of strange shadows on you tend” – Sonnet 53, line 2; “Who didst thou leave to tend his Majesty?” – King John, 5.6.32; “The summer still doth tend upon my state” – Queen Titania in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, 3.1.147; “Where twice so many have a command to tend you” – to the King in King Lear, 2.2.453-454; “Tend me tonight” – Antony & Cleopatra, 4.2.24); “The which attending from the Court, I will take my leave of your Lordship” – Oxford to Burghley, July 1581

Dedication of "Lucrece" in 1594 to Southampton

2 UPON THE HOURS AND TIMES OF YOUR DESIRE?

HOURS AND TIMES = the time being reflected in these sonnets, related to the ever-waning life of Elizabeth; UPON THE HOURS AND TIMES OF YOUR DESIRE = the times chosen by your royal will; “When was the hour I ever contradicted your desire, or made it not mine too?” – Queen Katharine pleads with the king for mercy, Henry VIII, 2.4.26-27

3 I HAVE NO PRECIOUS TIME AT ALL TO SPEND,

PRECIOUS = royal; “Tend’ring the precious safety of my prince” – Richard II, 1.1.32; “Then can I drown an eye (unused to flow)/ For precious friends hid in death’s dateless night” – Sonnet 30, lines 5-6; TIME = repeated from the previous line, emphasizing the importance of this ongoing time, now leading to the possible execution of Southampton; ALL = Southampton, his motto One for All, All for One

4 NOR SERVICES TO DO TILL YOU REQUIRE.

SERVICES = duties in service to him as prince; (“my duteous service” – Richard III, 2.1.64; “A boon, my sovereign, for my service done” – Richard III, 2.1.96; “Commend my service to my sovereign” – Henry V, 4.6.23; “My gracious lord, I tender you my service” – Richard II, 2.3.41; “To faithful service of your Majesty” – Richard II, 3.3.118; “Then hear me, gracious sovereign, and you peers that owe yourselves, your lives and services, to this imperial throne” – Henry V, 1.2.33-35; “So service shall with steeled sinews toil, and labour shall refresh itself with hope to do Your Grace incessant services – Henry V, 2.2.36-39; “We shall present our services to a fine new prince” – The Winter’s Tale, 2.117; “Beseech your Highness, give us better credit; we have always truly served you, and beseech you so to esteem of us, and on our knees we beg, as recompense of our dear services” – The Winter’s Tale, 2.3.146-149, i.e., in service or slavery

And happily may your sweet self put on
The lineal state and glory of the land!
To whom, with all submission, on my knee
I do bequeath my faithful services
And true subjection everlastingly
King John, 5.7.101-105
(The Bastard to Prince Henry, son of now-deceased King John)

The White Tower - where Southampton is confined

“I serve Her Majesty” – Oxford to Burghley, October 30, 1584

TILL YOU REQUIRE = until you, my sovereign, command me; “The gods require our thanks” – Timon of Athens, 3.6.67-68

5 NOR DARE I CHIDE THE WORLD WITHOUT END HOUR

CHIDE = rebuke, scold, quarrel with; “A thing like death to chide away this shame” – Romeo and Juliet, 4.1.74; THE WORLD WITHOUT END HOUR = eternity; (“As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end” – Morning Prayer Service); END HOUR = perhaps a play on “endower” – i.e., Henry Wriothesley, if he is not the King, can no longer “endow” the Tudor dynasty; he was “the world’s fresh ornament” in Sonnet 1, line 9, but now “the world” will be “without” him as its “endower.”

6 WHILST I (MY SOVEREIGN) WATCH THE CLOCK FOR YOU.

MY SOVEREIGN = Oxford speaking to his royal son as his prince or king; “The purest spring is not so free from mud as I am clear from treason to my sovereign” – 2 Henry VI, 3.2; “Comfort, my sovereign!  Gracious Henry, comfort!” – 2 Henry VI, 3.2.37; “Good morrow to my sovereign King and Queen!” – Richard III, 2.1.47; “A boon, my sovereign, for my service done” – to the King in Richard III, 2.1.96; “My gracious sovereign, my most loving liege” – Richard II, 1.1.21; “The King, thy sovereign” – 1 Henry VI, 3.1.25; “Be humble to us, call my sovereign yours and do him homage as obedient subjects” – 1 Henry VI, 4.2.6-7

WATCH THE CLOCK FOR YOU = Remain vigilant while the time leads to the hour when you may be executed; keep recording this time in these verses; wait with mounting anxiety over your impending execution; “To play the watchman ever for thy sake” – Sonnet 61, line 12; “so vexed with watching and with tears” – Sonnet 148, line 10; “The special watchmen of our
English weal” – 1 Henry VI, 3.1.66; “For sleeping England long time have I watched” – Richard II, 2.1.77; “What watchful cares do interpose themselves betwixt your eyes and night?” – Julius Caesar, 2.1.98-99; stand guard for you and your blood; “To guard a title that was rich before” – King John, 4.2.10

7 NOR THINK THE BITTERNESS OF ABSENCE SOUR,

BITTERNESS OF ABSENCE = the pain of your absence of liberty, of your absence from me, of your absence from the rest of England, being in the Tower; “Th’imprisoned absence of your liberty” – Sonnet 58, line 6; “O absence, what a torment” – Sonnet 39, line 9; “From you have I been absent” – Sonnet 98, line 1; “I will acquaintance strangle and look strange,/ Be absent from thy walks” – Sonnet 89, lines 8-9, referring to the “walks” he shared with
Southampton on the roof of his prison quarters within the Tower fortress; SOUR = hurtful

Dedication of "Venus and Adonis" in 1593 to Southampton, who is "the world's hopeful expectation," just as he is "the world's fresh ornament" in Sonnet 1

8 WHEN YOU HAVE BID YOUR SERVANT ONCE ADIEU.

YOUR SERVANT = your Majesty’s loyal and faithful servant; “Servant in arms to Harry King of England” – 1 Henry VI, 4.2.4; “Fit counselor and servant for a prince” – Pericles, 1.2.63; “The same, my lord, and your poor servant ever” – Horatio to the Prince in Hamlet, 1.2.162

9 NOR DARE I QUESTION WITH MY JEALOUS THOUGHT

DARE = Oxford speaking of his need to remain silent or be charged with treason for proclaiming his son’s right to the throne; “Then may I dare to boast how I do love thee,/ Till then, not show my head where thou mayst prove me” – Sonnet 26, lines 13-14; JEALOUS = (“Vehement in feeling, as in wrath, desire, or devotion … Zealous or solicitous for the preservation or well-being of something possessed or esteemed; vigilant or careful in guarding” – OED); “I have been very jealous for the Lord God of Host” – Geneva Bible, 1560, 1 Kings 19.10

10 WHERE YOU MAY BE, OR YOUR AFFAIRS SUPPOSE,

WHERE YOU MAY BE = within the Tower; YOUR AFFAIRS = you affairs of state; “What one has to do … business” – OED; “But what is your affair in Elsinore?” – Hamlet, 1.2.174; “So I thrive in my dangerous affairs” – the King in Richard III, 4.4.398; “To treat of high affairs touching that time” – King John, 1.1.101; to Queen Elizabeth: “To stand in thy affairs, fall by thy side” – Sonnet 151, line 12

11 BUT LIKE A SAD SLAVE STAY AND THINK OF NOUGHT

SAD SLAVE = unhappy servant; SLAVE = “a person who is absolutely subject to the will of another” – Schmidt; repeated from line 1; NOUGHT = nothing; an image of Southampton as “none” (the opposite of “one”) and “nothing” or a “nobody” in the prison; Oxford must think of “nothing” and so he may think of his son, who is “nothing” in the eyes of authority

12 SAVE WHERE YOU ARE HOW HAPPY YOU MAKE THOSE.

Except how happy you make those who are in your royal presence, i.e., those other criminals or traitors in the Tower; SAVE = except; WHERE YOU ARE = in the Tower; HAPPY = (“Health to my sovereign, and new happiness” – 2 Henry IV, 4.4.); THOSE = the other prisoners (and even the guards) in the Tower

Elizabeth

13  SO TRUE A FOOL IS LOVE THAT IN YOUR WILL

TRUE = Oxford, his motto Nothing Truer than Truth; FOOL = Oxford had pictured himself as a Jester or “allowed fool” at Court (allowed by the Queen), who wrote “comedies” laced with political satire and appeared to make a fool of himself; IN LOVE = in service of the royal blood; YOUR WILL = your royal will, with a play on “Will” Shakespeare, the pseudonym Oxford created in order to publicly support his son

14 (THOUGH YOU DO ANY THING) HE THINKS NO ILL.

Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford

HE = love, i.e., royal blood can do no ill; also Oxford, as loving father; NO ILL = as opposed to the “ill deeds” of the Rebellion, i.e., Southampton must repent (and forfeit the crown) and this act, with Oxford’s sacrifice of his own identity, will “ransom all ill deeds” – Sonnet 34, line 14; perhaps a play on “illegitimate”, i.e., Oxford still “thinks no ill” or thinks his son is not illegitimate; “If some suspect of ill masked not thy show” – Sonnet 70, line 13, referring to Southampton as a “suspect traitor” who has been convicted
and is now in the Tower facing execution

Henry Wriothesley, 3rd Earl of Southampton, in the Tower (8 Feb 1601 - 10 April 1603) - being held here until Robert Cecil engineers the succession of King James

U.S. is a ‘Federal Corporation’ British Crown Colony

Can be done on Black Canvas to avoid stitching background

Pattern Name:  Princess Elizabeth I
Pattern Price:  $2.99
Stitch Count:   139 stitches wide x 199 stitches high
Size in inches:  10” x 14” (25 cm x 36 cm) on 14 count fabric
Colours used:  23

Queen Elizabeth banned from making state visit to Israel, says historian. The eminent historian Andrew Roberts has said that the British government had a de facto ban in place on state visits by Queen Elizabeth II to Israel. “The true reason of course, is that the FO [Foreign Office] has a ban on official royal visits to Israel, which is even more powerful for its being unwritten and unacknowledged. As an act of delegitimization of Israel, this effective boycott is quite as serious as other similar acts, such as the academic boycott, and is the direct fault of the FO Arabists. It is, therefore, no coincidence that although the queen has made over 250 official overseas visits to 129 different countries during her reign, neither she nor one single member of the British royal family has ever been to Israel on an official visit,” Roberts told a gala dinner in London.

Britain is readying its new king. New documents obtained by The Daily Mail reveal that Queen Elizabeth is preparing to hand over a significant part of her portfolio to her 27-year-old grandson, Prince William. The disclosures from government financial doc

Posted using ShareThis

United States is Not a Country, it’s a Corporation

Welcome back kids. It has been quite a week here at homebase. I lost a load of links when I lost my PC. I’m not sure how that’s going to affect our final count today, but we’ll see.

We also welcome a new Geek to the herd this week. Aamir comes to us on a strong recommendation from Chris and we’re glad to have him in the fold. Look for him to start posting very soon.

And before we get to the links, it wouldn’t be LinkFrogging without our weekly slice of cheesecake. This week that cheesecake is Tina Fey. Love her or hate her, Tina is seeminly everywhere. Her take on Sarah Palin may have single-handedly submarined the former Alaska governor as a potential vice-presidential candidate. On a recent episode of David Letterman, when asked about a story that she was a virgin well into her 20’s her response was…”couldn’t give it away.”  It disarmed Letterman. That’s hard to do. Tina can be seen on NBC’s 30 Rock each Thursday night.

On with the links.

1. The worst of the baseball.
2. NBA – The world’s league.
3. Russian missile or global coverup?
4. Royalty my ass…
5. AXL @ LAX (TMZ won’t let me just put in a link) http://www.tmz.com/2009/12/11/axl-rose-guns-n-roses-paparazzi-punch-attack-airport-lax-video/-
6. Become an Achiever!
7. Is it “gotcha journalism” when it comes from the right?  Youbetcha!
8. Dear Alanis:  THIS is ironic.
9. He’ll never wear an adult large baseball cap again either.
10. Pride and Prejudice…and Zombies gets a star.
11. Check out the survival status of your favorite TV shows.
12. For all the Harry Potter pervs in the audience.  You know who you are!
13. Because the world was just waiting for Howard Chaykin to draw Tracer Bullet. (not you Ray)
14. The Conchords have been grounded.
15. #1 is bathe.
16. In this unlikely event, I won’t be compiling a list that week.
17. Its as if Confederacy of Dunces came to life.
18. Peter Gammons leaves ESPN.  Search underway to find new Red Sox homer.
19. Nothing says Christmas quite like a gorked out Captain Pike.  Fa la la la la la logical.
20. David’s Iraq deployment blog.
21. The Ghostbusters take on A Christmas Carol.
22. What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?  Santa stops after 3 hos.
23. A friend of mine just started this poker site.
24. ATF stands for Alchohol, Tobacco and…
25. Skynet was number 9.
26. I should tweet this.

Speaking of Twitter, if you’re into that sort of thing, you can follow us @gonzogeekcom.

Whether you like her or not, Lady Gaga has had one hell of a year. She’s known for her ridiculous costumes, and confusion with her sexuality. But theres definitely no denying her undeniable talent, the girl can move, and her performance along with her music videos are so out of the box and artsy. In this interview with Barbara Walters you get to really see why she is the way she is, and who she really is. We’ve developed a new kind of respect for Lady Gaga as a person. After all what other performer do you know other then Beyonce( when she sang for the Obamas) and Michael Jackson (Queen Elizabeth) that does performances for public figures such as Queen Elizabeth.

JUMP for Gaga’s tour dates!

THE PRISON YEARS
DAY THIRTY IN THE TOWER
Sonnet 56
This Sad Interim
9 March 1601

Oxford records his deep sadness after meeting with Southampton in the Tower, when he had to inform his royal son of the bittersweet bargain with Robert Cecil (and the Queen) as the only way to gain a reprieve from his execution.  His reference to the Ocean (sea of royal blood) is an overt homage to Southampton as a prince or king. He urges Henry Wriothesley to go along with the bargain to save his life.

Hank Whittemore performing "Shake-speare's Treason," the one-man show dramatizing this true story told by Oxford in the Sonnets for posterity (photo by Bill Boyle)

Sweet love, renew thy force!  Be it not said
Thy edge should blunter be than appetite,
Which but today by feeding is allayed,
Tomorrow sharpened in his former might.

So love be thou, although today thou fill
Thy hungry eyes, even till they wink with fullness,
Tomorrow see again, and do not kill
The spirit of Love with a perpetual dullness.

Let this sad Interim like the Ocean be
Which parts the shore, where two contracted new
Come daily to the banks, that when they see
Return of love, more blest may be the view;

As call it winter, which being full of care,
Makes summer’s welcome thrice more wished, more rare.

1 SWEET LOVE, RENEW THY FORCE!  BE IT NOT SAID

SWEET LOVE = royal prince; royal son; “Good night, sweet prince” – Hamlet, 5.2.366; THY FORCE = your royal power and strength; validity, as in “our late edict shall strongly stand in force” – Love’s Labour’s Lost, 1.1.11; your will to live

A contemporary drawing of Essex being executed on February 25, 1601

2 THY EDGE SHOULD BLUNTER BE THAN APPETITE,

EDGE = the cutting side of a blade, echoing the “edge” of the executioner’s axe; “But bears it out even to the edge of doom” – Sonnet 116, line 12; keenness, desire, royal will; “with spirit of honor edged more sharper than your swords” – Henry V, 3.5.38; APPETITE = your desire to live; i.e., Oxford is urging his son to go along with the bargain being made for his life, appealing to his desire to live and eventually be freed from prison

3 WHICH BUT TODAY BY FEEDING IS ALLAYED,

BY FEEDING = by being put out to pasture, so to speak; “Ere we will eat our meal in fear, and sleep in the affliction of these terrible dreams that shake us nightly” – Macbeth, 3.2.18-19; ALLAYED = postponed (with ALL = Southampton, his motto One for All, All for One)

4 TOMORROW SHARP’NED IN HIS FORMER MIGHT.

TOMORROW = “Kind is my love today, tomorrow kind” – Sonnet 105, line 5; FORMER MIGHT = former royal power; “O’er-charged with burden of mine own love’s might” – Sonnet 23, line 8; “Thy pyramids built up with newer might” – Sonnet 123, line 2; “England shall give him office, honour, might” – 2 Henry IV, 4.5.129; “the might of it” – i.e., the might and power of the crown, 2 Henry IV, 4.5.173

5 SO LOVE BE THOU, ALTHOUGH TODAY THOU FILL

SO LOVE BE THOU = so, royal son, be your royal self, since you are you; “This is I, Hamlet the Dane!” – Hamlet, 5.1.255; “But he that writes of you, if he can tell/ That you are you, so dignifies his story” – Sonnet 84, lines 7-8; act like the king you are, and go along with this decision to save your life; in giving up the throne, you help England avoid civil war, and you will gain your life and freedom

Queen Elizabeth I

6 THY HUNGRY EYES, EVEN TILL THEY WINK WITH FULLNESS.

HUNGRY EYES = royal eyes wanting to be who he is; WINK WITH FULLNESS = close or shut because of the power of the sun or royal light; echoing the “winking” of Southampton’s royal eyes or stars or suns;

7 TOMORROW SEE AGAIN, AND DO NOT KILL

TOMORROW SEE AGAIN = stay alive and use your kingly eyes once more; KILL = destroy; echoing the execution of Southampton, still a possibility, with Oxford urging his son to accept the terms of the “ransom” and, thereby, to save himself from being killed.

8 THE SPIRIT OF LOVE WITH A PERPETUAL DULLNESS.

THE SPIRIT OF LOVE = the sacredness of your royal blood (which is the essential and vital part of you); “Th’expense of spirit in a waste of shame” – Sonnet 128, line 1, to Elizabeth, referring to her waste of Southampton’s “spirit of love” or royal blood; Essex in 1597 wrote to Elizabeth thanking her for her “sweet letters, indited by the Spirit of spirits”; PERPETUAL DULLNESS = eternal shame; perpetual confinement in the Tower; eternal death

9 LET THIS SAD IN’T’RIM LIKE THE OCEAN BE

THIS SAD INTERIM = this sorrowful time of your imprisonment (which hopefully is only temporary); OCEAN = kingly; royal blood“Here, then, we have Shakespeare typifying his Friend variously as a sun, a god, an ocean or a sea: three familiar metaphors which he and his contemporaries use to represent a sovereign prince or king” – Leslie Hotson, Mr. W. H., 1965
“Even to our Ocean, to our great King John” – King John, 5.4.57; “The tide of blood in me … shall mingle with the state of floods and flow henceforth in formal majesty” – 2 Henry IV, 5.2.129; “A substitute shines brightly as a king, until a king be by, and then his state empties itself, as doth an inland brook into the main of waters” – The Merchant of Venice, 5.1.94-97; poets alluded to Elizabeth as “Cynthia, Queen of Seas and Lands” – Roy Strong, The Cult of Elizabeth, 52; “Thou art, quoth she, a sea, a sovereign king;/ And lo, there falls into thy boundless flood/ Black lust, dishonour, shame” – Lucrece, 652

The Tower: the official prison-fortress of the monarch

10 WHICH PARTS THE SHORE, WHERE TWO CONTRACTED NEW

CONTRACTED NEW = come together again; “But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes” – Sonnet 1, line 5; Oxford and his royal son, envisioned as newly contracted

11 COME DAILY TO THE BANKS, THAT WHEN THEY SEE

COME DAILY = like these verses written daily; echoing the “daily” or day-by-day experience of his son in prison; like the tide coming daily to the banks of these “pyramids” or sonnets, as in “No! Time, thou shalt not boast that I do change!  Thy pyramids built up with newer might/ To me are nothing novel, nothing strange” – Sonnet 123, lines 1-3; “Thus they do, sir;
they take the flow of the Nile by certain scales in the pyramid” – Antony and Cleopatra, 2.7.17-18

12 RETURN OF LOVE, MORE BLEST MAY BE THE VIEW!

RETURN OF LOVE = return of royal blood; i.e., when Southampton finally emerges from the Tower, he will be alive and so will his great gift of “love” or royal blood still live; “So thy great gift, upon misprision growing,/ Comes home again, on better judgment making” – Sonnet 87, indicating “misprision” of treason as the new, lesser verdict that will allow Southampton to “come home again” as a free man; BLEST = full of Southampton’s royal and divine blessings; “the blessed sun of heaven” – Falstaff of Prince Hal in 1 Henry IV, 2.4.403

13 AS CALL IT WINTER, WHICH BEING FULL OF CARE,

WINTER = the present time, early March of 1601; this miserable time of your imprisonment and possible death; “How like a Winter hath my absence been/ From thee, the pleasure of the fleeting year” – Sonnet 97, lines 1-2, corresponding with February 8, 1602, and referring to her Majesty’s “pleasure” or command; and with “fleeting” meaning “imprisoned,” echoing the Fleet Prison; “Three winters cold … /Since first I saw you fresh” – Sonnet 104, lines 3-8, corresponding to February 8, 1603, the third winter of Southampton’s confinement; i.e., this entire time of your confinement is a winter; FULL OF CARE = full of Oxford’s care for him, to save his life; “Thou best of dearest, and mine only care” – Sonnet 48, line 7

The White Tower, where Southampton was imprisoned

14 MAKES SUMMER’S WELCOME THRICE MORE WISHED, MORE RARE.

SUMMER’S WELCOME = the welcoming of the golden time of the king, of Southampton as prince, his return to freedom; “Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day … And Summer’s lease hath all too short a date … But thy eternal Summer shall not fade” – Sonnet 18, lines 1, 4, 9; THRICE = related to the Trinity and also to the previously potential royal family (which is no longer possible) of Elizabeth and Oxford and Southampton; MORE RARE = more royal; “Beauty, Truth, and Rarity,/ Grace in all simplicity” – the royal family of Elizabeth, Oxford and Southampton in The Phoenix and Turtle, 1601, 53-5, being written about now in early 1601

So Big Barry doesn’t think enough of the Norwegians, who by the way are the ones giving him the Nobel Prize for Peace, to stop by and at least have a beer with their King.

Not even a quick drive-by to bump fists and allow King Harald V the honor and privilege of being in his presence.

Yo, Big Barry, Whatta they call that in da ‘hood? Oh, yeah… you’re dissing da man.

Oh well, he’s just another whitey an’ it ain’t like he’s from somewhere important: like China, or Venezuela, or the SEIU… I ‘m jus’ saying… Queen Elizabeth, Nicolas Sarkozy (Remember, he’s the President of France. He has a very strong kick-ass attitude and… he likes HOT women too!). Wait a minute, these are all white people Big Barry is dissin’… Hey you, Big Barry, wha’s up wid dat yo?

I guess he figures that tha brutha Tiger is making up for his dissing white folk.

Sure, the Dalai Lama and Al Gore were able to make it to lunch with the King, but Big Barry? Just WHO do they think their King is? The impudence? The audacity? Why, why… they should just understand that Big Barry is… why, he’s impo’tant! (I heard someone saying that the other day on a newscast in Dallas so don’t start on me…).

Anyway, Big Barry isn’t making much of his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance. And, understandably the Norwegians are REALLY ticked off by this.

And to me this is kind of out of character for the big guy.

I mean, look at all the chances he is passing up to be the center of attention and praise himself:

1. Dinner with the Norwegian Nobel committee – meh, so what?
2. Press conference – OH! Wait, he could talk about himself and how he cares, and looks forward to getting letters from children all over the world.
3. Television interview – he could talk about himself and how he cares, and looks forward to getting letters from children all over the world. And he could whine about the mess Bush left him.
4. A children’s event promoting peace – another ‘so what?’ moment.
5. Music concert – Wow! this is getting boring – no way for him to talk about himself and how he cares, and looks forward to getting letters from children all over the world. And bash Bush.
6. Visit to exhibition in his honor at the Nobel peace center – Ah, another chance where he could talk about himself and how he cares, and looks forward to getting letters from children all over the world.
7. Lunch with the King of Norway – Naw, nothing in this for him.

The Swedish news agency TT is reporting an InFact poll that found 44 percent of the Norwegians believe Obama’s diss to King Harald V to be “rude.” And how do they feel about his not attending the traditional concert? Even more — 53 percent — are upset about this little faux-pax.

The president’s trip to Europe this week is being met with a definite chill. Even a quick read through Der Speigel, The Guardian, or The Local would soon show that the European love affair with Obama – which reached its zenith this week in his receiving the Nobel Prize – is over.

And now… a full third of Norwegians do not believe that the U.S. president deserves the Peace Prize.

There is also this: during Obama’s visit, in addition to all the other groups who applied for permits to demonstrate against this idiocy, 20 different Norwegian organizations also applied for permits to demonstrate.

And why should the Norwegians be surprised or upset by his ‘Alabama snub’ of them? He is only showing them the respect this award has truly come to deserve.

Well, that and the fact that they are not worthy of his presence.

Oh, by the way, for those who have never heard of the ‘Alabama snub’. Lemme ‘splain: in Alabama, this is THE most grievous insult possible.

You can have a torrid, twenty-year affair with a man’s wife. Daughter too! Run over his dog, and bash into his pickup truck as you make a hasty exit when he comes home unexpectedly – he’ll forgive you for all of that.

BUT! If you snub him – he’ll go to his grave hating you.

Now, I’m not saying that the Norwegians will come out of this snub hating him… but, I thought one of the reasons he got selected for the job was to run around the world making sure everyone liked us again.

THAT sure hasn’t happened: The Europeans laugh at him and at us by extension. The despots in the Middle-East and the Islamic world is REALLY PO’ed. China is upset that he has devalued so much of the paper they hold that it is now nearly worthless. Or WILL be if we keep going down the road he is trying to take this country on.

FAIL! Even with his insipid bowing and kowtowing to everyone he can find… that sure has not happened. Sorry, I digress. I’ll get back to my subject of Big Barry running over to Oslo. Doing a touch and go, drive-by award acceptance and racing on to Copenhagen to further screw the Norse (well, everyone actually) with the sham of a Climate (Population and Wealth-redistribution) Control Treaty.

Well, Geez… there isn’t much else I can say to the Norwegians except sorry you had to find out like this. It’s like the girlfriend who finally finds out that the guy she has been seeing really is married. She might have suspected for a long time, and turned a deaf ear to it, thinking all the while “He’s really wonderful and he wouldn’t do that to me. ..”

Sorry sweetie, Big Barry is just like that and after some wine and a good cry with your best friends the Swedish… you’ll get over him in time.

Translate this with Babel Fish

Hello?

I cannot even blog, people.  I am so upset.  What the heck was she thinking?

This is trashy for a teenage girl to wear in from of the Queen of England.  It’s a respect issue.

Who would wear their goods swinging about like this in front of President Obama?  Anyone?

And, he’s not even royalty.

Gees.

Button-up and get a string of pearls.

Sexy and 17 Miley Cyrus is not.

Oh, lawd!

Miley…Girl, when are we gonna hook up to get that image of yours straightened out?

Picture via Best Week Ever

Even Lady Gaga had the sense to cover up a bit when she shook hands with the Queen.

Picture Via E! Online

Iconic sex symbol Marilyn Monroe’s alleged marijuana use? Hush! Controversial pop SINsation Lady Gaga’s gender? Hush! Hush! What is going on at American Morning this week or, actually, the last eight days? Unfortunately, it appears that  AM executive producer Jamie Kraft has presided over its becoming C.N.N. (not CNN), i.e., the Censored Network News.

Last Wednesday, when AM co-host John Roberts reported on the recent sale of a private Marilyn Monroe video, he failed to inform his AM audience that Marilyn Monroe was allegedly smoking marijuana in it: rather, he simply twice said, “[It] shows her acting casually on the couch with friends, smoking and drinking wine.”** However, cable news rivals FNC* and MSNBC did not shy away from Marilyn Monroe’s alleged pot use nor did the main stream media, e.g., ABC, BBC, and the New York Times.)

Today, Jeanne Moos reported on Lady Gaga’s meeting Queen Elizabeth II in Liverpool, England, after the Royal Variety Performance.*** Afterwards, Roberts remarked, “I’ll admit that there’s something strangely fascinating about her but, I mean, it’s all image and marketing.” Co-host Kiran Chetry concurred, “Of course, it is!”

Really? According to recent concert footage, Lady Gaga may be Laddy Gaga: In the NSFW Gawker.com clip, as she gets off a motorcycle and subsequently shimmies in a micro red mini, she exposes what seems to be a small male member. According to Bossip.com, Lady Gaga confirmed her hermaphroditic status, stating “It’s not something that I’m ashamed of, just isn’t something that I go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but I consider myself a female.” Reportedly, she added, “The reason I haven’t talked about it is that it’s not a big deal to me.”

With Marilyn Monroe, AM omitted a material fact, i.e., her apparent smoking of marijuana. As to Lady Gaga, AM seemed to include a significant fiction, i.e., that her “strangely fascinating” nature is “all image and marketing.” If Kraft does not give his AM viewers the full news, sans such salient omissions and questionable inclusions, they may begin to lose confidence in the accuracy of American Morning and, by extension, CNN.

___________________________________________________________________

*Fox & Friends (12/02/09)

** Full quote: A new home movie of Marilyn Monroe unscripted has surfaced. The quick clip from the ’50’s shows her acting casually on the couch with friends, smoking and drinking wine. The copyright to the film will be offered on Ebay this week by a collector who paid a quarter of a million dollars for it.” American Morning (12/02/09)- @ 6:08 a.m. ET and @8:39 a.m. ET (Second reading omitted “and” between “smoking” and “drinking” and substituted “one” for “a” before “million.”)

***American Morning (12/09/09) – @6:55 a.m. ET

“Believe you me Ann Boleyn, if I had known the consequences, I would have let her walk into the muddy puddle, would have served her right.“

Sir Walter Raleigh would have nodded his head to emphasise the remark, but he was holding it under his arm, as ghosts of the Tower of London were accustomed to do.

“Well at least it was something chivalrous that you were doing Walter. I lost my head just because I got married to a King. He said marry me and I will take you places. He did of course, to the Tower of London on the beheading block.”

Anne Boleyn was convinced that marrying into english royalty in the sixteenth century was a dangerous event and Walter Raleigh was in agreement.

“But tell me Walt, was the whole thing true about the cloak and the puddle or was it just a publicity stunt to earn a bit on the side?”

“Before we continue with our conversation, let us put our heads on our shoulders, then we can look at each other properly. I suppose when you come to think of it the Tudors were fault that we both lost our heads, you because of a husband that wanted to get married again and I happened to meet your daughter on a fateful day.”

“You mean Elizabeth. Who would have thought that she would have become Queen, but Henry did not have any sons that lived to carry the title of King. At least you went places Walter.”

“I suppose it was a publicity stunt. We had a heavy rainfall and I happened to be taking a walk near Hampton Court when a carriage pulled up. I naturally stopped to have a look and who climbed out but Queen Elizabeth I, your daughter.”

“She might have been my daughter, but Henry’s? I never really got to know her. Henry always asked from where she inherited the red hair. I didn’t live long enough to lose my head for that mistake, I lost it before. So carry on Walt.”

“Elizabeth was standing on the bottom step of the carriage and shaking her head at the wet puddle that she would have walked into. I happened to have my old cloak with me. I was on my way to buy a new one and would have thrown it away afterwards, so decided to do myself a favour and throw it on the muddy puddle. Queen Elizabeth stepped onto it and everyone started clapping and cheering. She looked in my direction and gave me a wink. That was the start on my ladder to success.”

“It didn’t end very successfully did it Walt.”

“Not really Anne, but bear in mind I had some good times with Elizabeth.”

“I always thought my daughter was known as the virgin queen.”

“She might have been known by that name, but just don’t believe everything in the history books. There are even some today that say the story about me throwing my cloak on the puddle was just made up. Of course, if it had been a new cloak, I would have had second thoughts.

The only reason I fell out of favour was because she met me on the stairs at the palace just as I was leaving the lady in waiting’s bedroom.”

“So that was why you were beheaded.”

“Well not immediately, but it was the start of my path to doom. You know I was in the Tower a few times, before they actually decided to remove my head on the block.”

“At least you are not alone Walt, there are many of us here. So let’s remove our heads and do a bit of haunting. You never know, we might be included again in one of those television programmes about the ghosts of the tower. Perhaps the next time it rains you could throw your cloak on a puddle and I will walk over it. That will be a sensation for the news.”

“Forget it Anne, this is a new cloak with gold embroidery. I only let people walk over my old cloaks.”

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he finishes the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she finishes the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so Queen Elizabeth writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he finishes the devil informs him that there would be no charge for the call and feel free to call the USA anytime.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush gets to call the USA for free. The devil says, “Since Obama became president of the USA, the country has gone to hell, so naturally it’s a local call.”

One thing is for certain about Lady Gaga, she doesn’t give a shit and does her own thing. From bird nest masks to your grandmomma’s good laced table cloth, she dresses the way she wants and it’s always talked about. That’s smart and cheap publicity. If she couldn’t sing, that would be one thing but the girl (or whatever) has a voice. Lady Gaga met Queen Elizabeth II Monday night in London looking like a red latex condom or life size twizzler (you choose, lol). I wonder if the Queen has a “Poker Face”. Anyway, I sent this picture out for captions on twitter. Folks definitely kept it entertaining as usual. Enjoy.

@neisha429: Please bend over fair Queen while I spank your bottom and call me Mistress Gaga

@mickey_bish: Queen Elizabeth “Splendid job in new moon!”

@Mish2Mish: Gaga to the Queen: “You ordered a bloody Mary?”

@ocsupreme: In the spirit of the holidays, Lady Gaga thought it would be nice to dress up as a candy cane for the Queen.

@JD_SivadInk: Looks like that entire ensemble is made out of fruit roll ups

@iGo2Far: The nun in the back corner: “This has to be a fckin joke”

@reketa: That little boy is looking at her like ” What the fck is that shit”

@therealamaru: “I’m sorry, where’s the bathroom?”

@SmrtNBuetiful: “Yes your Magesty, that is very nice. Allow me to show you how we tuck our penis in the States.”

Follow me: twitter.com/throatchopu

• Lady Gaga and Muley Cyrus were among the performers at last night’s Royal Variety performance in London, shake hands with England’s Queen Elizabeth II , Miley Cyrus, the 17-year-old was a too distracted by a brighter star to appreciate her brush with royalty (”I met Lady Gaga!!!!! I met Lady Gaga!!!!! I met Lady Gaga!!!!”).
• 

See it, Share it, Tell US about it! Send your rumors to brooklynit3@hotmail.com

Do you have a JMouth?

The Lady greeting the Queen at the Royal Variety Performance in the most reserved/brilliantly Gaga way possible. She wore a red latex dress with a collar reminiscent of Queen Elizabeth I. She performed “Speechless” on a stilted Dali-esque piano, while her bench was suspended from the ceiling.

While Gaga opted for artistic value and class, others decided for a different approach.

Yes, she really wore that.

The Lady greeted the Queen at the Royal Variety Performance yesterday in the most reserved/brilliantly Gaga way possible. She wore a red latex dress with a collar reminiscent of Queen Elizabeth I. She performed “Speechless” on a stilted Dali-esque piano, while her bench was suspended from the ceiling.

While Gaga opted for artistic value and class, others decided for a different approach.

Yes, that’s really what she wore.

Spice Girls: Girl Power's Finest (Photo Courtesy of Google Images)

Who said it’s every little girl’s lifelong dream to get married?  Liars, that’s who.  Several women – many prominent in finesse, historically altering by design and refined through their presence –  have found solace outside the confines of marriage.  Girl Power! (I can’t ever seem to say that without being British) at its finest, the list of women to evade the altar includes everyone from nuclear physicists and women’s rights activists to haute couture fashion designers and media moguls.  They’re a group that is as eclectic as they are iconic and legendary for not only what they do, but who they choose not to do it with.

Even in “the days of Yore” when it was practically mandated for every woman to marry, several ladies chose to go against the grain.  Among the first and most remarkable is Joan of Arc, who chose sainthood and war heroism over nuptials and newlywed bliss.  She scoured battlefields, instead of dishes and made it quite obvious that God was the only man for her.  Considered the national heroine of France, Joan of Arc proved that behind every good man – or in this case, and army of men – is an even better woman, but not always vice versa.

Joan of Arc + the "Virgin Queen" Elizabeth I (Photos Courtesy of Google Images)

And she wasn’t the only historical figure to choose valor over vows.  Perhaps among the most influential and noteworthy would be Elizabeth I of England.  Better known as the Queen Elizabeth, she reigned over an entire nation without, despite many attempts to force her hand, the matrimonial backing of a man.  Elizabeth I was courted by several suitors, and while speculation on her non-nuptial lifestyle are still debated, it was quite clear she was nowhere near as concerned with marriage as the population surrounding her, which is the same sentiment shared by many other of her eminent successors. 

Fashion Icon, Coco Chanel (Photo Courtesy of Google Images)

Civil and women’s rights activist, Susan B. Anthony and the celebrated nuclear physicist, Lise Meitner were two others that poo-poo’ed the thought of marriage.  Not to mention inspiration revolutionary, Helen Keller, iconic fashion pioneer, Coco Chanel and Nobel Peace Prize recipient, Jane Addams… all of which never heard the wedding bells chime.  (Probably because they were too busy making a difference – duh!)

There were also a number of critically acclaimed authors, hailed for their abilities to evoke passion and spark debate through their literary works, who chose a pen and paper as more suitable companions than a man.  Still found in every classroom, library and literary timeline around the world, Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, Louisa May Alcott, as well as the Brontë sisters, Emily and Anne, never took the plunge.

Oprah Winfrey... as if it even needed a caption (Photo Courtesy of Google Images)

Not taking “the plunge,” however, can sometimes cause just as much of a splash as taking it would, especially this day in age.  With the media at an all time explosive high, women like political activist Condoleeza Rice and Academy Award winning actress, Diane Keaton are sometimes thrown unwanted scrutiny for their choice not to marry, but no one, honestly NO ONE, has been debated about over her choice not to marry than Oprah Winfrey.  The woman practically wrote the book on how-to-be-a-success story, and she did it all without taking vows.

After years of being the face of day time TV, Oprah has been known to shine the light on the topic of herself.  Almost laughingly, she can joke about how even after countless awards, innumerable life changing interviews and incalculable donations, there are still people who still could view her as incomplete because she never towed the line and took the vows.  It’s alright Oprah, even if you never marry, I can think of about one billion reasons you’ll never be left wanting.  Go ahead with your bad self, girl… go… a… head!

I just got off the phone to the motorcycle mechanic, whose had my bike since it broke down the other week from lack of oil, and I’ve got to tell you those guys are crafty.

My car mechanic is great, AP Motors on Keele street Collingwood. Phil comes from a long line of ancestors who’ve run the shop, he’s always straight up about what’s possible and what’s a waste of money, and he often ignores me when I walk past his shop which keeps me keen in a ‘treat them mean’ kind of a way.

But Phil doesn’t know bikes. Not many mechanics do. The ones that do specialize in bikes are very aware of their rockstar automotive niche, and they’re not afraid to exploit it.

My latest mechanical misadventure has been interesting as the motorcycle guys I’ve been dealing with aren’t sure how much I know about bikes – and how much they can get away with.

Truth is, I know next to nothing, but I have hung around other motorcyclists enough to regurgitate some vaguely informed sounding statements every now and then, which has really thrown them off.

When I initially walked in the store I made sure to hide any trace of iPod or sunglasses, but it’s always been hard to do anything about my lack of manly physique and my bogan accent is ‘mildly put on’ at best.

There was two guys sitting at a desk down the back and the first thing they did was ignore me for about five minutes, like some kind of test. I’m not sure what a manly man would do in this situation, probably yell out something blokey and obscene in a gruff voice, but whatever it is I clearly didn’t do it because their disdain was glaring from word go.

It was pretty clear they had me pegged as a skinny white guy with no idea, and on a scale of motorcycle manliness I’m sure they would have rated me a 2 out of 10 (1 out of 10 being a girl).

One of them reluctantly rose from their titty porn strewn desk and flopped himself into the receptionist chair. Let’s call him John, not for any privacy reasons, just because I can’t remember.

‘What bike is it?’ he asked.

‘A CT110. The tow truck guy’s bringing it round the back.’

I deliberately avoided the words ‘Honda’ or ‘Postie bike’ as they’ve become mainstream as of late, and I believe that if I could have read John’s mind at this point his rating of me would have shimmied up from a 2 to a 3.

For me to ride such a utility type bike I was either some sort of extreme bush guy or an idiot with no savings, and considering I used the manly name I was probably the former.

‘What happened?’ he asked.

‘I forgot to put oil in it and it died.’

Back down to 2.

Both John and the guy still sitting at the titty porn clucked in unison, they knew they’d caught themselves a fat one. Titty porn guy was so confident that he jumped in with some honesty/cold hard facts talk.

‘If I were you I’d start calling round the wreckers now for a new engine. That thing will be seized up and no good to anyone.’

‘How much do you think an engine would cost from the wreckers?’ I asked.

‘Dunno. Bout $600 – $800? They’re hard to get as CT110’s rarely break. Unless you forget to put oil in them.’

‘But the whole bike only cost me $1250!’

‘Yep. We’ll do our best.’

I walked out of there feeling pretty down. I wasn’t sure how bad the engine damage would be, and I knew that they were setting me up with the initial $800 quote so that anything they charged later on that was less than that would feel like a bargain. I was powerless and everyone knew it.

Less than an hour later John called my mobile. I happened to be shopping in a perfume store at the time (searching for the perfect gift for my stepmum) and was in the process of sniffing some delightful scents, but I didn’t tell him that. Instead, I summoned my deepest occer voice from within the Gucci aisle.

‘Good news Jason, you’re a very luck man. The bike didn’t seize up, it just needs a service.’

Wow, things were looking up.

‘But…the clutch is pretty worn out. We’ll need to replace that. All up it should come to about $220, plus parts.’

Bang. The happy train had left the station and was heading express to Money Town. While $220 was manageable he made a point of not giving me a price on parts, and I knew for a fact that motorcycle dealerships make most of their money from parts.

But then I hit him with a game shifting blindsider, and he could barely hide his surprise.

‘Do you use genuine Honda parts? Because I don’t want any Chinese copy parts in there.’

SHAZAM. 4 out of 10, that’s right, I know about copy parts. That was a TWO point markup in the manly stakes.

‘We do use Chinese parts, but I can get a quote on some genuine parts.’

I’m lucky as I can get hold of such parts myself, and when I told him so he knew the terrain was getting rocky.

A page had been ripped out of John’s conning playbook, and I was sitting on 5 out of 10 man points with only $220 worth of labour to worry about. Things were looking up.

Stay tuned for the next installment of the saga, and for the love of god leave a comment.