I wish I could stop over thinking everything and just let things happen. No matter if the outcome is good, bad or indifferent it might just make for a happier me.

Wow, the last time I wrote something similar to a blog entry was a whooping 4 years ago! So much time has passed since then. I’ve grown so much older, apart from the few physical perils it has brought my way, I am pretty much the same person.

Same old, pessimistic person. Makes me wonder? When was I happy last? Truly happy…

A few months from going back to the big bad corporate world, so much has happened in the period gone by. Don’t know why I’m writing this rant down. There really isn’t much to say. Or maybe, it’s been a while i’ve had a conversation with myself.

Gonna sleep on that note today. More from tomorrow. Promise.

It’s a beautiful warm sunny day, I just had lunch with one of my best friends and I am trying to stay positive and think about all the things I have in my life as opposed to all the things I don’t and want. Have a great day everyone. xox

For a while now, have I been getting secretly annoyed about people using the lift instead of the stairs when students are making their way up the library’s floors. I witness very athletic looking men and women waiting for the elevator, only to see them getting off again at the first or second floor. WHY? You can walk, so use this gift!
Ok I might be exaggerating a bit – obviously some people can’t walk up the stairs, but I am sure most of the people are perfectly fine too. Is it just my German-ness and having to be efficient – see if you use the lift you are using electricity, this leads to global warming – I know I am trailing off, but isn’t the way to combat global warming for each of us to do our little part to help save the environment?
I have been a bit of a coward – I haven’t told anybody not to use the stairs, ok except my girlfriend and some of my friends, but the bullying or making-fun-of-them strategy didn’t really work -strange huh?
Now I stumbled across this little video:

Simple idea, right? Amazing effects!
The only thing I now need to do is, to come up with a similar idea. A way which I can motivate people to use the stairs instead of the lift – because the little signs next to the lift, don’t seem to be doing their job. Something not as loud as the example in the video, but something just as fun. Hmm… any ideas? Thoughts?
Will colours alone do the job? Can you turn that into a game?
I think the focus lies within a game. People need to have fun and forget about actually walking up the stairs.
Feedback appreciated!
This video really makes me want to be in the ad industry right now, having an impact and making things happen… lets see if I can get the stair thing going!

Lennard

Uhhh can he really write that in the title – engagement and measurement in one sentence, but YES my people I can… not because I am amazing, but because VAN (Viral Ad Network) said they can track engagement.
VAN promises to measure not your boring old views and visits, no no, they have taken it a step further – VAN has promised to track “online buzz” via blogs, twitter and other social media mentioning!
… Hmm… you don’t seem excited!? Heard that before? Oh here’s more!
VAN will work on a CPE model – cost per engagement – meaning that the client will only be charged if the consumer decides to interact with the advert… interesting! It also includes geo-tagging, which, I guess, is a nice thing to have.
Overall, I feel a bit let down by this. The idea seems great at first, but I don’t think that this is something really new. VAN can seed your viral advert into more than 5000 social media sites and then track it – so what? It is the emphasis on viral which VAN hopes to differentiate itself with, but I don’t think that this is really so unique, it’s been done before.
Personally, I hope that this is a first step, a step in the right direction of better tracking and measuring of online content and activity. I really hate talking about views, visits and time spent on site – it makes me gag. This is not a revolutionary idea, but I do wish the VAN team all the best and hope that by making this small step and gathering new insights, they will be able to make bigger steps in the future.
Watch this space for more updates!

Lennard

To come out to my parents. It is at the point that it feel more like I am lying to them and keeping secrets from them then it is anything else. I am back living at home too and with everything that has happened this year I really want to get it over and done with and start 2010 fresh with nothing to hold me back. Plus I feel like I need to do this to prove something not just to myself, but to Nicole as well. I want her to realise that I am not afraid and that I don’t need to hide and if it is ever to become anything between us (hey I can dream) then I can give my whole self to her and to a relationship.

I have less than 4 weeks till the end of the year. I really would love to do it before the 17th which is when Nicole leaves to go back home to the states for the holidays.

If I can come out and make it throught that, focus on myself and become more confident with it then all this could be what I need and maybe what Nicole is looking for.

If not than it is still something that I need to do, no want to do. Now days it seem everything seems to revolve around being lesbian and there is becoming fewer and fewer ways to avoid it from conversation.

Deep breaths…….

Love Calculator results

These are the results of the calculations by Dr. Love:

Nicole Dunham		Brooke Fraser
	88 %

Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between Nicole Dunham and Brooke Fraser has a very good chance of being successful, but this doesn’t mean that you don’t have to work on the relationship. Remember that every relationship needs spending time together, talking with each other etc.

Here we are again, it’s that melancholic time of the year once more… Any regrets so far? Ah, 2009… Where should I begin? The “what ifs”, “could’ve been”, “should’ve been”… In general, 2009 has been a very personal and emotional year indeed. It’s a year where I am lucky enough to get to know many wonderful people who I never even knew existed. It’s a year where I learned so much, even more than everything I’ve ever learned from the past 5 previous years combined! Did I mention that 2009 has been a very materialized year for me too? I got most of the things that I wanted… Well, don’t let that fool you into believing that all is good though. When I said that I learn a lot – I also learn the hard way that wanting and visualizing for something vague gives you just that… Indefinite desire leads to mixed thoughts and expectation which then turns out into complicated outcomes. Yes, I got what I wanted – along with the whole unwanted package of heartache, tears, fears, stress – pretty much all the things I could live without.

So now, besides knowing that I can actually get whatever I put my mind to, I need to remind myself to be clear, focus and precise in listing the things that I want. 2009, you’ve been great but I’m really looking forward to start the new year. I visualize my 2010 to be the year where I can see myself taking chances and having no regrets whatsoever. It’s a year where I get to meet more new exciting people. It’s a year where I get to expand my network extensively. It’s a year where I get to make more friends and discover wonderful true friendships. It’s a year where I am wiser, sharper and braver. It’s a year where I only have to do what I like. It’s a year where I have and make more than enough cash to go around with. It’s a year where I have the strength to let go of the things that weren’t mine – things I couldn’t have. It’s a year where I continuously learn to-about-from love. It’s simply a year where I can surely say that I am happy and fulfilled. This one sounds cheezy but I see it as a year where I am settled down, finally having that special someone to really call my own to share the happiness with. Someone who has all the qualities that I already carefully listed in my mind… If I could sum everything up in one short sentence, 2010 is going to be an extremely better version of 2009!

Went to see him perform on Friday with my friends. We drove up to the venue and he was standing outside on the phone. I got out of the car and he walked over to me and gave me a big hug and told me he had JUUUUUST finished performing. Damn. Missed it again. We decided to watch the other bands anyway. We went in, paid $6 and watched. Then I went to the bar and ordered a rum & coke. Then, he introduced me to his brother. I shook his hand and said hi. Then he introduced me to his girlfriend. I shook her hand and dropped dead.

Let me just say this: a social network status may not be that significant to you, but it can mean everything and anything to another. Why didn’t he change his status to “In a relationship” if he is in one? Then I never would have gone through all this trouble & drama!!! I was utterly irked and just wanted to go home. But no, I decided to stay and we talked every once in awhile. The thing is, they don’t even act as if they are together and if he hadn’t introduced her that way, I never would have thought they were together.

Yes, I’m disappointed but then again, it’s not like I wanted any kind of long term relationship with him. Maybe not even a short term relationship. I just wanted a friendship first and see where it could go. Now, I know it will go nowhere as long as he’s “in a relationship.” Thankfully, I found this out early in the game and it didn’t hurt at all. I don’t want to go through what I went through once before with Mitchell and find out years later that all we could ever be is “just friends.” Finding out late in the game hurts big time. BIG time. I don’t think I ever discussed my Mitchell story. He will have to be another blog on its own because that itself, is a long story, one that has definitely defined my thinking process about men.

In the meantime, let me continue this friendship with Isaiah and find out exactly what his reality status is as opposed to his virtual status. :0)

Azi am avut liber de la lucru ca sa fie o “punte” intre weekend si 1 Decembrie. Daca tot e luni, m`am trezit ca de obicei la 6 si m`am dus cu prietenul meu la Blaj ca avea ceva treaba pe acolo. Imi place mult de tot sa mergem impreuna cu masina, tot timpul avem de povesti sau comenta despre drum, ascultam muzica si timpul trece repede. Ma asteptam sa fie mai decorat Blajul avand in vedere ca nah, maine 1 Decembrie, Unirea si toate cele dar nu a fost asa, chiar atunci puneau bradul in centru.

N`am mai mers cu masina pe drumul asta cred ca de cel putin 10 ani, doar pe langa sosea, cu trenul adica. Chiar am crezut ca am scapat de ceata, ca pana sa rasara soarele totul era OK dar dupa aia a fost tot ceata, creepy. Bine ca nu a fost aglomerat deloc si am mers repede.

Cam atat azi, va las ca ma duc sa dau o tura la primarie, e targ de Craciun, cu brad impodobit, colaci, carnaciori, vin fiert si tot tacamul plus bonus, un “tavan” de beculete albastre de zici ca esti la Viena, daca bei destul vin fiert, evident.

yattaaa!!

welcome to my brand new j-word blog!!!! yaaaay!!!

ok, i’ll promise to not let this die this time. i’m try to be serious about it. i tend to start things and never continue them because i get bored of it quickly lol. but i’ll do my best! (now this sounds like a crappy japanese bong translation lol)

anyway, here, in my supper dupper blog. i’ll talk about the j-world! that includes primarily music, but also includes tv, etc! anything related with the business!

i don’t feel like making a big introduction of myself right now, so i may do it later and if i never end up doing it (most likely lol) you’ll get to know me for my posts?

lovely isn’ it?

so yeah minna i’ll be counting with you visits <33 love you all.

I heart U!

I think my blackberry is secretly trying to take over my life. Fortunately I’m happy to let it do so as it’s organizing it better than I was. Linked to my four email accounts, it also sends me twitter updates, text messages, pin to pin messages (exclusive to blackberries), GPS positioning, google maps to get me where I need to go, plus it links me directly to the internet on demand (because sometimes you NEED to know the name of the black guy from the first Degrassi Junior High show. Especially when you’re out at a party and you think it’s him. It was.) Also linked to my blogs, I can write for either while on the go and send it directly to that particular blogs’ draft page. Cool.  The best feature, hands down, is that it now links my Facebook account to my calendar and updates me on your birthdays and events and automatically puts them into my appointment book whether I want it to or not. I’m hoping that if I can teach it to automatically send out happy birthday texts and write my blogs for me then I may never have to think for myself again. Sweet.

Although I may not know what’s happening with Alberta’s oil sands (and I think I probably should) with a glance at my blackberry I can easily tell you the weather in Vancouver (Surprise! its raining!) and what party Jill* is going to hit up this weekend.  (*Jill’s name has been changed to protect the not so innocent, meaning me, since I will probably be right there with her, woo!)

As a person who would literally die without my ‘berry (it’s the Bold 2 baby! And if you don’t understand what that means – look it up) people without cell phones worry me. How do you live not knowing what your family and friends are doing at every pinnacle moment throughout their day? How do you leave your homes (where I assume you have one of those antiquated land lines) knowing that for the duration of your commute to work, to play or to your secret double life you will be totally and completely out of contact? Literally, you’ll be technologically dead to the rest of the world (and by world I mean me).

I once left my blackberry at home, hopped on the train and off I went to work; blissfully unaware of the communication black hole I was about to enter. My therapist and I now refer to that day as ‘Dark Tuesday’ and we’re still working through the resulting trauma. Using regressive memory techniques, we have pieced together a tentative storyline from that fateful morning. As far as we can tell, and the security tapes from the train operators have certainly helped: I took a seat on the train, reached into my purse to pull out my trusty cell….and came up empty. Now the rest is pure speculation and the security tapes aren’t clear on this but I may or may not have accused the other passengers of stealing it and collars may or may not have been grabbed leading to punches that may or may not have been thrown followed by me theoretically yelling for the train to be turned around and ending in security hypothetically removing me from the train where I may or may not have been kicking and screaming something about “needing to know what Shilo dapup was up to”.  Like I said, total speculation and hearsay of course. Nothing my lawyer can’t handle.

I eventually arrived at the day job and luckily it’s in the cellular industry so I was able to get a cell phone fix at work to get me through the rest of the day. Phew! Much needed and further tragedy was safely averted (however the court case is still pending). Even to this day I get shivers just thinking about it. Brrrrr.

So how DO you live non-technologically in a technological world?  The answer is simple: don’t. An important notice to all of you non-cell phone people: Stop fighting it. Just sit back and let the gentle radio waves of technology wash all over you.  If you’re worried about those pesky brain cancers that you keep hearing rumours about (all false by the way), stop worrying. Or think of it this way – by the time you do get your cellular tumour (40+ years from now), they’ll probably already have a cure for it! Yay! So go out to your nearest wireless retailer (preferably a Bell store of course, ahem) and join us. Become one of us.  Because I need to read that forward you got via email that you think is so funny, I need to know when you walk your dog, what kind of wine you drank too much of with dinner last night, and if you are or aren’t in a relationship and most importantly – if that relationship is ‘complicated’ (and by complicated I assume you mean he’s a merman and you haven’t quite figured out all the mechanics of that as yet). Fill us in. Let us know. In this new era, information that was once viewed as mundane, now in the hands of Facebook has been turned into news worthy of a feed and your random thoughts and speculations are slowly replacing hard evidence and facts. Soon, newsworthy shows like CNN will be quoting the random thoughts of individuals on facebook or even twitter.  Doesn’t that excite you?

Hey! What's that you have there?

ATTENTION: If you are a person ‘happily’ living without a cellular device and have serious issues with any statements I made above, please feel free to write me a note and I will ‘happily’ issue a big public apology, retract my previous statements and also send you a sizable cheque to ease your pain and suffering. However, due to some outstanding legal issues and timing problems I’ll only be able to accept your note to me in one particular format:

Via text message.

Fun Cellular Facts:

-          Turkey, population 73 million, has approximately 63 million mobile phones in use

-          Each every year in Australia more than 200,000 mobile phones are reported lost or stolen. This equates to 4000 each week or one mobile phone handset every three minutes. (http://www.amta.org.au/pages/amta/Mobile.Security.Statistics.and.Quick.Facts)

-          More than half the world’s population has made a cell phone call and there are more than 2 billion cell phones in use (http://didyouknow.org/fastfacts/statistics.htm)

-          If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you and interestingly this number 112 can be dialled even while the keypad is locked. (http://www.cellhandsets.com/2009/04/27/interesting-cell-phone-facts)

-          In 2007, Europe had a mobile penetration rate of 110%. This means that a chunk of the population has MORE than one cellular device per person (http://www.itu.int/ITU-D/ict/statistics/ict/index.html)

Good Evening!

I’m healthy again! The mono seems to be out of my system for the most part and I’m feeling normal again. Time to catch up with the blog now. Aaron is currently sitting next to me reading and making fun of the fact that I took about twenty pictures of my new running shoes. I’ll show you those in a different post. I have to break up the five million pictures that I took since Thanksgiving.

First of all, Thursday morning I woke up feeling a little better. Aaron and I had breakfast together (egg sandwiches on the George Foreman!) and then I set Ted (bread machine) to work on making dough for the dinner rolls for Thanksgiving dinner. We went to Aaron’s parent’s house first around 2 PM after watching Thanksgiving parades on TV. Look how pretty the table was! Dinner rolls came out well and are in the far right corner. I used this recipe from the King Arthur Flour website for soft white dinner roll with the exception that I used two tablespoons of raw, cane sugar and one tablespoon of honey in place of the white sugar. I also let them rise (second rise) for about 2 hours total.

Aaron carved the turkey…sort of:

Aaron’s brother’s girlfriend and one of his grandmother’s in this picture:

Action shot of Aaron pouring gravy onto his plate:

My plate = sweet potatoes/white potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing, carrots, & brussels sprouts (+another serving of brussels sprouts):

Aaron’s pumpkin pie which I tasted:

I made Aaron’s mom a wreath and brought it along. I’ve had LOTS of free time while sitting around trying to rid myself of the kissing disease so crafting it is.

After early dinner at Aaron’s parents north of the city, we ventured to the exact opposite of the city to my Aunt and Uncle’s house. We had cookies and coffee and sat around talking until about 8:30. I was EXHAUSTED by this point so we headed home. It ended up being a great Thanksgiving! Aaron’s parents house was lots of fun and the food was great and then seeing my family was great too. Aaron finally got to meet a couple of my relatives! I’m curious to hear what Aunt Isabel reported to my mother about him….

Friday I worked for a short amount of time then came home and rested some more. Monoooooo. Saturday was pretty uneventful. Aaron was in Toronto for a show and I was just doing some chores and attempted to Christmas shop unsuccessfully.

Today (Sunday), Aaron got back into Pittsburgh around 4 AM and picked me up to go to Church at 10 AM. He’s crazy. We went to church together for the very first time then came back to my house and decided to do our little Save-the-Date photo shoot for our wedding save-the-date cards. Fun!

Mini-tripod + ladder = this plus about 30 more pictures. We haven’t decided on the exact picture or card yet but hopefully will this week!

Alright that’s about it for now. It’s almost midnight and I think time to get to bed. Back to work full-time tomorrow. Yay for the mono being gone!

Have a great week!

-Pamela

Hey guys,

Its me again!! A few days back I did this project in school. Why dont you guys check it out and tell me what you think!! Click on the link below.

My Salamander Project

I have a had a really horrible day. The job I was doing at work took so long to do and nothing was working and I felt like  I was not going to get it right and it was just the worst day. Combine that with being obssessed with the fact that I have not heard from a certain someone and I was like  a mad women. Anything could of set me off today and everyhing did. The air felt thick and my heart raced and I just wanted to hit something, anything to make myself feel like I was alittle bit in control.

If I could have a superpower I would want to be able to hear other peoples thoughts. Imagine knowing what it is that someone else is thinking or feeling. It would eliminate all the fucking mind games people play with your head.

Numai mie mi se pare ridicol ca de un an incoace orice nou sau deja existent artist roman a scos piese dance in engleza? Suna bine cantecele, n`am ce zice dar singura problema e ca toate sunt la fel. Rimele alea penale cu you make me fly si come and kiss me baby si altele se regasesc peste tot, cu ritmul ala enervant de minimal cand totul suna a plup-plup.

Tot legat de muzica, deja m`am saturat sa aud la TV cantecul ala Samba de la Cristina Rus, il difuzeaza non stop…

I want it all to stop now. Everything feels like it is all fucking up and I can’t stop it. Being honest and telling the truth doesn’t feel like a weight being lifted off your shoulders it feels more like it has been replaced by lots of little stones. Uncovering one big truth leads to a whole lot of problems. Nothing is easy and I am wondering if any of it is worth it. ?

Just a QUICK update to let you know that I’m still around. My “flu” turned out to be MONO so I haven’t been doing much of anything except sleeping, reading and watching Bones on my laptop.

A symptom of mono is also lack of appetite so the eats of been particularly boring. All I can bring myself to eat is eggs, oatmeal and bread. Not so well-rounded. I tried to eat spinach last night and almost puked. Cool.

I also haven’t been to the grocery store in OVER A WEEK. I have pretty much no food. You know I’m tired when I can’t even get myself to the grocery store. I LOVE grocery shopping. Tomorrow might be the day as I’m craving popsicles like crazy. I’m actually considering going out right now to buy popsicles and numb my painful throat with them.

Okay so that’s about it. Hopefully I’ll get some exciting pictures of Thanksgiving for you and start to feel well enough to blog like normal. Until then, have a great week and a great holiday!

De cateva zile s`a petrecut o schimbare, Music Channel a trecut in locul MTV`ului si invers, ceea ce la mine inseamna ca Music Channel se vede bine si MTV foarte prost acuma. Nu`mi pare rau de schimbare si sper sa ramana asa pentru ca postul asta nou da mai putina muzica repetitiva si reality show`uri inscenate.

In rest, wow, ce ceata s`a lasat mai mult. Care`i faza? De mult nu am mai vazut asa ceata. Asa vreme mohorata e afara ca nu`mi vine sa mai ies din casa.

Twenty one Septembers ago, a child was born to a pious and god fearing couple. Was that child a child of prophecy? A reincarnation of legend? “None of the above. It is a male child”, said the doctor. He was the youngest of the two. He was thus pampered. His parents took care of all his needs. He was thus raised “encapsulated” from all the miseries in this cursed world. Alas, he had a high level of abstraction on how this whole world works. It was this abstraction which impeded him often. In short he was immature. Ridiculed for being thin and hot headed earned him no friends in school. 150 odd friends on Orkut and 56 on Facebook, thats his current friend count.

When his dream of becoming a Chartered Accountant shattered, he had to join a picketty college called MES aka Moorkhanam Ekaika Sabha(Credits goto kstars), meaning hangout for fools. He had to share a bench with 4 people. He had to go out of the lab for no fault of his.(He enjoyed that) He was sent to an IIT concentration camp. His strong belief that “Science should be explored, not learnt.” turned out to be a myth when saw people mugging E = MC^2. He became an introvert. Parents thought something was wrong with him. They showed the “documentation” of his fate aka horoscope to different astrologers. Astrologers inferred that his fate was NP. It had only approximate solution to the problems. Maybe God forgot to type a break statement for “case ‘PROBLEM’:… while programming his life.(I think God uses ENUM). By that time his horoscope had become WORM, Write Once Read Many.

At the same time he was carrying the burden of expectations which was due to his studious brother. Not everyone can be a CET 2nd rank holder. But that was hardly an excuse. Somehow he managed to clear. Yes, he was not at his best. Maybe his best was yet to come. Joined a college which no one knew. Already his Knapsack was heavy, i.e. more weight and less profit. Alas, Edsgar Djikstra was not there for his rescue.

His life turned out to be better. He came to know that he was not only the loser who joined that college. But he enjoyed every moment there. He was back to form, up and running like a stateless server, which had no place for horrible events in memory. He formatted his old life, installed a new and updated Life Operating System and rebooted it. Made a lot of friends and and exported happiness through his pathetic jokes. His pathetic jokes riled his friends, but were still well received. Under the guidance of his professor he submitted a paper related to his mid-term project. More good news. His paper was accepted by an international conference and was to be published sooner or later. Redemption was on the way. Future looked bright. And finally he was jobless, after exams… J.O.B.L.E.S.S. He became an idle Batch processing unit without any job, and now he is writing this post.