…may have killed the cat; more likely
the cat was just unlucky, or else curious
to see what death was like, having no cause
to go on licking paws, or fathering
litter on litter of kittens, predictably.

Nevertheless, to be curious
is dangerous enough. To distrust
what is always said, what seems
to ask odd questions, interfere in dreams,
leave home, smell rats, have hunches
do not endear cats to those doggy circles
where well-smelt baskets, suitable wives, good lunches
are the order of things, and where prevails
much wagging of incurious heads and tails.

Face it. Curiosity
will not cause us to die -
only lack of it will.
Never to want to see
the other side of the hill
or that improbable country
where living is an idyll
(although a probable hell)
would kill us all.

Only the curious have, if they live, a tale
worth telling at all.

Dogs say cats love too much, are irresponsible,
are changeable, marry too many wives,
desert their children, chill all dinner tables
with tales of their nine lives.
Well, they are lucky. Let them be
nine-lived and contradictory,
curious enough to change, prepared to pay
the cat price, which is to die
and die again and again,
each time with no less pain.
A cat minority of one
is all that can be counted on
to tell the truth. And what cats have to tell
on each return from hell
is this: that dying is what the living do,
that dying is what the loving do,
and that dead dogs are those who do not know
that dying is what, to live, each has to do.

Alastair Reid

Download: InTheMood.mp3|loop=yes

—

Happy Easter!

—

And remember to save the birds, the bees and what’s left of the Beatles! Please donate generously to your cause of choice! (Cuz u kno karma’s a bitch. )

I don’t know if God exists,

but it would be better for His reputation if He didn’t.

Jules Renard

I universally agree. Mankind, what’s it with all your cheap excuses? Damn you, hypocritical douchebags!

So here’s an excerpt of what my inner idiot would say if I ever set its sevenlegged weirdosity loose in public:

—

If you had to make a movie about your life, what would it be called?

“The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies”.

Describe your evil twin.

She’s a princess.

Are you happy to have single-handedly destroyed the earth?

Very. It’s the greatest achievement of mankind so far.

What would you do if no one ever found out?

I would switch the Pope‘s nightgown with my grandma’s.

Sex before marriage or after marriage?

OR??? That’s a dark thought.

Is there any circumstance where cheating is okay?

Sure. Being a cheetah.

Would you rather be stabbed by a knife or a sword?

A sword, please, Sir! So much more sophistication!

Do you sometimes wish you were a porn star?

Yes. No.

Biggest turnoff in the oppisite sex?

That would be the “oppisite” part, loser.

Do you currently like anyone?

LOL. No, I currently loathe the world. Sorry

What is the meaning of life?

Like I’d tell you, huh? Nice try!

Aliens have landed and selected you to visit their home planet. Do you go with them?

Absolutely. What other crazy chance do you get in life?

What is your favorite word?

Utopia.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It was a damn coincident, get over it!

Do you read Harry Potter books?

Sometimes – when in need of some moral support. (Harry Potter is the new and much improved Bible.)

What is your favorite place?

That’s usually the place most opposite from where I am at the moment. Well done!

If you could have one superhuman power, what would you choose?

The ability to spread insight.

What do you do on Fridays?

I brush my cat.

—

There you go, serious people. Good luck with your next job interview! (I know I have every reason to expect major nailingness on my part .)

And, quite mysteriously, Christmas happens to be my birthday, too. I was born what must have been intended as a slightly ironic representative reproduction of Jesus, yeah baby. That’s right, be scared. But let’s not mention it again, since there’s not enough news to tell yet: Time’s passing, and I’m still nowhere near where I wanna be (the publication of my own Holy Moly Bible OMG, that is, of course). So screw those bloody birthdays, may I just proceed, please? See you when I’m ready! I’ll be the one dressed as a Victoria’s Secret Angel, obviously.

But Christmas it is. I am a convinced advocate of the “secular version of Christmas”: Instead of going to church and praying, we feast and present each other with mostly extremely hedonistic, far-from-Christian gifts. And I suppose that’s what many of you do, too, only some might not like to think of it that way. But face it – Christmas went to the dogs long ago; we now have an overall worldwide consumption orgy. As faithful sheep in shepherd economy’s herd, let’s buy crazy crap and make up parodies of Christmas carols and Nativity stories. God, be our entertainer for tonight!

No reason to get offended – I’m a usually sophisticated and regularly reflective person, and I cherish human dignity as well as indulging in some shameless fun. It’s not a lapse of morals – on the contrary! Shouldn’t people, as far as possible, be encouraged to take on responsibility for their happiness, rather than be religiously trained like savage animals? Wouldn’t you, in fact, consider it an appalling insult to deny mankind’s maturity and declare humanity as unable to reason in its own right? Isn’t an individually well struggled-through, self-accomplished system of values much stronger and far more worthy than any of the brain-numbing sermons no one honestly internalizes since 2’000 years? I sincerely do believe a fulfilled lifestyle implies ethical purity and with it an open stance on life in its natural variety, including all religious and political orientations, social backgrounds, path choices, personal ups and downs – and yes, even my neighbor’s subliminally pornamental Christmas tree decoration. Trust me, he is a weird but alright guy, somewhere deep inside .

If you demand further esteemed absolution from the sin of enjoying your life while still being a good person, I fondly quote Joanne K. Rowling‘s Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005):

Professor McGonagall: The house of Godric Gryffindor has commanded the respect of the wizarding world for nearly ten centuries. I will not have you, in one night, besmirching that name by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons!

Fred: [whispering to George] Try saying that five times fast.

George: [whispering] Babbling, bumbling band of baboons.

Fred: [whispering] Babbling, bumbling band of baboons.

Your turn! Your bad! Happy Holidays! (Happy Birthday to me, bboons )

PS: Were you ever forced to play a Jingle Bells/Happy Birthday mash-up in a cello/clarinet/guitar/piano/saxophone/terrible-singer sextet? Well…if you possibly can: avoid it .

—

…according to Barack Obama:

You need change, comrades! Got some?

…according to Osama Bin Laden:

You need to focus your oil eye on China and India. Down with America! A Middle-Eastern McDonald’s/Camel King/Subcave oligopoly is entirely enough – KFC stinks, anyway.

…according to Warren Buffett:

You need to take the right risks; it’s that simple. I can’t tell you any specifics though. (Oh, really? What a pity!)

…according to Mr. 50 Cent feat. Mrs. FEminem:

Ya need to get rich or die tryin’ - 8 Mile remix.

…according to Anna Wintour:

You need to differentiate between orange and pink. (Gosh, imagine the consequences!)

…according to Albert Einstein:

You need to make sure the universe’s infinity remains greater than your stupidity, at all times. Plus, a smart wife may prove advantageous.

…according to Jane Austen:

You need to sit, wait and wish, imperishably. Fairytales do happen, even if only in your imagination.

…according to Brüno:

You need to become famous, fabulous and fisted, bb!

…according to Jesus:

You need to drink wine, not water, and whip up a personality cult that will hang over for thousands of years to come. (Passed, with merit!)

…according to Captain Jack Sparrow:

Aye, ye need blood. I know whose blood ye need. (Please, do tell! Is there, possibly, an appealing blonde elf involved?)

…according to Johnny Depp:

You don’t need anything, as long as you’re as cool as me. Bagging a $50 million POTC 4 contract? Overrated. Sure, it allows me to maintain a nice, quiet life in the French countryside – but there’s nothing more to it, honestly. I’m independent. (Right, I’m convinced…especially when dealing with the Disney dinosaurs!)

…according to the climate:

You need to make me happy so we can be happy together, and you’re failing miserably. (We know, but we don’t care yet.)

…according to Christopher McCandless aka Alexander Supertramp:

You need to feel strong and free. Go further. You know, OUT THERE.

…according to Albert Camus:

You need to embrace the Sisyphusness of your absurd existence and try to find something to love in it. Good luck with that.

…according to Ludwig van Beethoven:

You need to listen to the sound. You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.

…according to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart:

You need to acknowledge the importance of wigs at age 13. Also, playing the piano may show some hidden qualities, too.

…according to Christianity:

You need to suffer, then die. (Greatness! Makes a hell lot of sense, doesn’t it.)

…according to Buddhism:

You need to relax and maybe save a worm or two. It doesn’t matter. Say Hi to Kurt Cobain! (U game, worm-saving yoga-doing toga-wearing neo-hippies?)

…according to Pastafarianism aka The Flying Spaghetti Monster:

You need to have some RAmen Bolognese w/ Parmesan, and – believe. You know you want to believe.

…according to my mom:

You need to grow older in order to understand. (THANKS, mom! )

…according to my grandma:

You need to have one more cookie. (THANKS, grandma! )

…according to my gay best friend:

You need to nab yourself a loaded senior-citizen husband, poison him and hire a couple of hot model gardeners already, girl. (I appreciate your support, ostrich. )

…according to me:

Jeez, why are you still reading? Don’t you realize *I* certainly wouldn’t know?! – Alright, I won’t spoil the fun and shall nevertheless graciously descend to sharing yesterday’s neuro-leftovers:
You need to stop needing and start wanting. Consciously, BIG TIME. Unless you’re born a penguin, there is no excuse for keeping your resources frozen. Bring it on! Because you can. *meh*

…and last, but likely not least:

Kindly consult the Beatles’ lyrics word count: Let it be “You”, “I” and “Love”!

(It remains unclear until today whether the Beatles actually were really smart or just…er…incomparably unoriginal? Hmmm. Indeed, the latter would equal blasphemy. Fine then – love it must be! Y Not, Ringo.)

—

And what do you need…according to you?

That’s where the term “artistic escapism”, slightly ironically, fits into my CV just splendidly, while responsible people probably will argue it is simply cheap. Since as long as there is no such thing invented as one’s personal self-sustaining life support system, we should, for once, in all sophistication rise to the occasion and engage in the fact that we are all forced to interact with each other in some way at some point. Even in Alaska, as much as I hate to admit it. Idealistically I’d like to think that NOTHING affects me, that I am free to disdain all of you and all the stupid things you do, which is of course a big fat denial of humanity and nature itself: a certain interdependence. Ergo, please accept: Staying and fighting is the only motherfucking option, girl.

So yes, I have some serious nonexistent anti-issues regarding politics, people and life plans, but I know it and think I will do my best to make a big production out of it after all. Because come on, I really wouldn’t want to deprive mankind of my ingenious help, you see . Not because I can, but because I must – I am ethically obliged to do so. (Wait, what was that? Some major *BLAH*? Guess we’re approaching politics now. Nice!)

Yay, I’m still young and unwanted! I think I’ll go and terrorize the town today. Because I have nothing better to do and would never even come close to considering some serious shopping, working and getting what’s called a life; just hangin’ outside stores disturbing the crap out of people is cool enough for me. ‘Sup!

OK so I like Angelina Jolie, but…? Oh right, this is intended for MEN! Go Brüno ♥.

Vizit ze FIERCEFEROSHFABOOSH webzite of ze Brüno!

If we admit that human life can be

ruled by reason

-

the possibility of life is

destroyed.

Leo Tolstoy

How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you

So here’s my personal Bucket List. Before I die, I shall be plotting to…:

1. …publish a record that Mark Knopfler as well as Madonna would buy.
2. …hand the Pope a cup of tea, noting: “By the way; all of You were wrong about almost everything, except that there’s tea.”
3. …save an Emperor penguin’s life.
4. …cure boredom. I wouldn’t care about stupidity, if it wasn’t so damn annoying.
5. …time-travel to the point where life was created, with a quick pit stop at the Roman Empire to watch a Gladiator fight – and maybe advise Caesar to dump Brutus.
6. …understand 10 and speak 5 languages fluently (about halfway there by now, yay!).
7. …make peace between two enemies.
8. …mysteriously inherit a massive load of unretraceable money and spend it all in one lousy night in Atlantic City.
9. …discover an absolute value (too hypothetical to understand anyway, I know).
10. …do a killer performance of my favorite song in front of 41’357 people, and pick up an STD from stagediving. (wtf?! Just kidding )
11. …present the US President with a striped pijama and not go to prison for it.
12. …invent a device to store live knowledge (the perfect memory, generating a super-race of mad scientists).
13. …try all drugs without getting addicted to anything (NOT a smart move, je sais je sais – but I’m just so terribly CURIOUS! Aren’t you?).
14. …make a wicked cottage cheese salad (I’ve managed a weak tuna stew so far, not sure what that counts for).
15. …not be a citizen of any country.
16. …do a stand-up comedy show where nobody laughs (oh wait, done that. It was, apparently, stand-up drama ).
17. …sneak a peek at the future and try to manipulate the course of it.
18. …communicate with a highly sophisticated civilization and persuade critical aliens to treat us as equals, for some inexplicable reason.
19. …make a living from opening a street kitchen for pigeons. And yes, that’s an almost-joke.
20. …tell my grandmother I have a gay best friend – then explain to her what gay actually means AND successfully revive her.
21. …find a man who loves me for something more than my 6’1″ body length, marry him and have 2 lovely pink children. (If not, marry my gay best friend and adopt 2 Cambodian orphins and a pink Prada bag.)
22. …recognise whether there’s a God, preferably while still alive. And if there happens to be, tell him Jesus was a bad idea (just like humanity in general, if I wasn’t convinced it must have been an accident).
23. …clinically die and come back, as seen in Flatliners (1990). Then, most likely, rather die for good.

I’m coming to see now that my life plan appears to be…er…not exactly modest, but hey, who cares. Since nobody will be changing the course of the universe anytime soon, it doesn’t really matter what kind of crap you pull off along the way, as long as you’re reasonably fine with your personal story. So tell me: What’s your Bucket List? *excited-chitter-chatter*

This is the honored first post to this blessed blog. As a matter of emergency self-amusement, I’ll be trying to spill as much of my freshly detoxed brain juice in here as possible. No further intentions but to mess with peaceful tranquility and scare innocent people out of their tidy offices. So let’s get started; I’m sure we’ll be able to expect great things in retrospective: We’ll be calling it life experience. See ya!

Mind, an introductory to philosophy By: J. Searle

It’s been forever since I last posted… at least since spring quarter class have ended and posting a bulletin didn’t require me to do so at least 3 times a week…

However, I’m taking summer school! Can you believe it? Me? Summer school? I know, ya right! But seriously.. I am, and it blows! Mostly because I’m exhausted…

I mean, the classes that I have are fairly interesting, but they keep me so busy that I hardly have time to exist outside of school. At least I absolutely LOVE my teachers!

I’m taking Religion and Rationality (8AM-11:30a), and The Films of Akira Kurosawa (6-10p). Thus, my days are REALLY long… and I am no early bird.

Work Load: The film class has a 2 page paper due every time we meet… and the viewing of the Kurosawa films… I don’t generally enjoy foreign films however, I found these to be very entertaining . We also had to read his autobiography, and another book I can’t remember the name of at the moment. Also quite interesting.

Dreams - Akira Kurosawa

but the Religion and Rationality seems more like Philosophy and requires TONS of reading… and comprehension. And questions for discussion.  As daily we have 3-4 quizzes for that class on the reading we were assigned. We read 2 books in the period of 3 weeks! And let me tell you.. this stuff does not soak in easily. 

Body Life and Soul Everlasting By: J. Cooper

Then, at the end of the courses, I’ll have at least 20 pages to write between the two.

Now, despite all the work load, I much prefer summer courses . After all, you can focus on the subject more, get nitty and gritty right away, then perhaps if you don’t like the course not worry too much just get through it because it will be over soon anyway.

Anyway, just figured I’d fill you in as to why I haven’t been posting lately. But when I get a chance, I’ll write some more!

Wish me luck!

Ciao <3,

Elizabeth

Hey Guys!

Even though the class is over, I have intentions of writing on this blog on my spare time because I found it to be a ton of fun, and I learned a lot. I started a few other blogs as well though, make sure you stop and check out my latest, Mood, Mind, Body & Health! It’s a simple blog really, but it talks about a few things that pertain to your very own body and soul, that maybe you didn’t know. I learned while I wrote it, and I hope it can help as you read it! Take care of yourselves and it’s been nice getting to know you all here at WordPress.com! Don’t be a stranger now =). Peace.

Sincerely Love,

Lady Elizabeth

P.s. If you’re looking for a good deal, check out LTDeals… makes for fun, cheap, and easy shopping! I’ve added all these links to the blogroll for your convenience!

Straight from …MyThoughtBubble…

There is such a thing as being alone, even when their are plenty of people around you. Being alone is not defined by the absence or presence of people, but by your acceptance of the things which surround you.

Let me explain; Sometimes, the friends that you have chosen are not truly your friends at all. Sometimes, those you believe are the closest to you, or at least the ones you hold in your heart are not really meant to be held that close to you for always, or even in the first place.

From experience, I have learned that sometimes, it is better to go without friends or people in your life then to immerse yourself into any group that accepts you (or that you just want to be a part of so that you won’t ever feel the loneliness).

Here is why its important: If the person(s) are not like minded as you, you will go through many sorrows and tribulations. Not to say you don’t learn from them, but to remind you that “you are what you eat…” and “birds of a feather, flock together.” In other words, you already know that people change with time. But did you realize that people themselves can change you too? 

Perhaps it is true that everyone that has walked in your life had their purpose at one time, or even another. But did you ever wonder if the reason that they didn’t make it to your present is because they weren’t suppose to? I can’t decide. However, I have decided that deep down in our minds, and especially in our hearts we really DO know what is good for us. What we choose, is another story.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that you have to learn to separate the logic, and the emotions of your heart. However, just because you separate the two does not mean that your heart does not have logic of its own, or that you logic has no emotions. This is why it is so difficult to separate the two, which are closely intermingled. But, when you have learned to separate the two, I believe you have found a small piece of the puzzle that can help you understand and see the larger picture.

Thus, Learn from your mistakes, because if you don’t you’ll be less likely to survive… and if you do survive, it could be a life of heartache, rather than peace, or wisdom gained through experience… once again depending on the origins of the kind of person that you were. Not everyone is strong enough even when they think they are. Thats why I urge you to avoid the things you know are bad for you. It doesn’t matter if its candy, an allergy, under/over eating, a person, a group, a habit, or a sweetheart. Make sure that the people you hang out with are the kind of people that you want to be. If you don’t, you are more than likely to lose yourself… and not everyone can find their way back. In fact, most don’t.

If you can’t escape the people that you have already deemed to be important in your life, placing the value of their friendship over the value of your own life, then the least you can do for yourself is make a conscience effort to make your life pleasant, worthwhile, and most importantly to meet the ethics and morals that you know to be “the right thing.” Make an effort to smile over something small every day because sometimes its the little things that go a long way. Look to a higher power for guidance, and trust that It can help you succeed. Do the things which are really important to you. It is never too late to do what you feel is right –for you!

Remember that everyone is different, and we each need specific things to help us continue life as we know it. Follow your heart for once, I mean, truly follow it. Don’t follow your emotions. 

These days people mix up the two (love & emotion) waaaay to often! Be careful when you decide which one you are following. Believe it or not, your heart IS really intelligent, it’s the emotions that get in the way. Serendipity… this message is an eye opener. I just hope it can reach someone whose been lost in their own thoughts, emotions, delusions, whatever.

Best wishes, from the bottom of my heart.

Sincerely,

Lady Elizabeth

I don’t know about you but I think its safe to say that we’ve all been misunderstood from one time to another. The complexity of these misunderstandings are all different too, depending on the subject, seriousness, and person or persons who the misunderstanding has occurred with. Therefore, it is difficult to understand how exactly to resolve each individual conflict, and avoid any others which may later present themselves.

In speech, people use different tones, vocabulary, and loudness. Because people are generally used to consistency; whenever something changes up, for example, very fast paced conversation where the voice rapidly escalades, we are lead to believe that they are upset with something.

Naturally, if you are already a hotheaded person, and someone is upset with you and you aren’t sure why they ever got upset in the first place, you too end up all rattled up.

However, here is a piece of advice from the knowledge that I have acquired while I’ve walked my short time on this earth. If someone is upset with you, why not take some time to figure out what exactly is bothering them, or even why you are upset with them for being upset with you?

Think about it, how can you resolve an issue together, if you get upset with them every time that they get upset with you? The battle will be endless. Both you and the conflicted person(s) must work together to fix the problem, at least to where you reach a happy medium and/or come to some kind of agreement. 

Arguing, and fighting cause two things to occur. The first would be to create an enemy out of someone who is close to you (and knows a lot about you). It is always a pity when you allow some disagreement, or misunderstanding to come between you and those you love. The second occurrence would be the fact that disagreements and working together to face these problems can actually make the relationship stronger. Which category of the two would you rather be placed in? A lost friend, or a strengthened friendship? I hope you choose the latter. 

As it is, people we love stab us in the back sometimes anyway, regardless of whether or not they mean to… why make enemies who will ensure it?

You will be burned sometimes, but just because that happens doesn’t mean you should go around burning people back… otherwise, your bridge returning will burn with you on it. Instead, cherish those you love, and be kind to those you don’t… and together, face your misunderstandings which will eventually lead to a greater good, making you the bigger person.

Revenge is a nasty thing.. and ultimately hurts everyone… leaving one person bitter, and the other person hurt (physically, and/or emotionally). Revenge is never something that someone should pursue if they ultimately care about themselves.. and if they ever cared about the other person. Mostly because it lowers your own self value, esteem, ethics, and morals.

Technically, would you want to do that to yourself simply because someone has upset you and made you angry? Yes, it may be funny to think back on… but over all, its really sad. Try not to lower yourself to “their level.” The wrongs that they have done to you will be repaid someday, not by you… but by someone bigger, and higher out there. Not only do I believe in a fair, and “Just” God… but I believe in karma. Thus, its what you dish out that comes back for you to eat. Thats why you gotta be careful and make sure that what you give to others would be something that you might want to receive in return. Then, see post -Forgiveness.

People say that forgiveness is something to be earned, something that is only given when asked for, and only to those who deserve it… but I disagree. Forgiveness is something that helps us to understand ourselves better through discovering how far we are willing to go to forgive others… especially if they won’t forgive you. If you want to be forgiven for the things that you’ve done wrong, then you too must forgive others to the same degree that you would want, or even expect in return.

It’s like the golden rule says, “Do unto others as you want them to do to you.” I honestly can’t remember the last time I even thought about what that rule really means… its so simple really, but crucial to the growing and expansion of our minds.

Sometimes we forget that it is when a friend hits a rough patch that they need you most. It’s when they are low and feeling down, and have wronged you that they need you to be there for them, and bestow upon them your forgiveness. They are delicate, and vulnerable.

We forget that even though heaven isn’t attained through “good works,” that a good life is, and doing something nice for others is favorable in God’s eyes. We forget sometimes that memories fade, and seasons change, but the things we learned through experience we will carry on with us forever.

This is why it is a valuable lesson to remember to:

• reach out and give a hand to one in need, giving hope, and offering peace. 
• stretch your arms out to someone who needs a hug, extend an invitation to a person that seems lonely, and if you see someone without a smile give them yours… small steps make huge differences!

And when the moment of truth comes to question: “Was I there for others? Did I show love, peace and compassion?” You will know what to find because “what goes around, comes around.” So always forgive others when they need to be forgiven and realize that it’s not really for them… It’s for you, so that you can move on, and live life carefree with out holding grudges. To prepare your heart, and your mind to allow them to be healthy, and optimistic… And God will smile upon you; because He loves you and recognizes that you are growing and learning that if He can forgive US for all we’ve done, then we can find it in our hearts to forgive everyone who wrongs us in return. In closing, an unknown author said: “The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”  Are we strong enough?

On the subject of: Love.

People have defined love as a feeling, strong emotions, and affection. But is this all it extends to? According to Wikipedia.org, ”Love represents a range of human emotions and experiences related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.”

I’d say this is a fair definition but has left out many important factors which could never be fully grasped by anyone who feels that they have truly been in love.

Love is self sacrificing, and isn’t always necessarily reciprocated from person to person. Love is a mutual bond of trust that can go both ways. Love is persistence. However, to my knowledge in todays understanding we assume that if a couple have been together for a while and are “in love,”  then they should automatically have plans to get married -eventually. I used to think that was the point.

That is until I discovered REAL love. –Not true love per-say, but real love,  (difference even in the two words “real,” and “true”). However, just because two people are in love doesn’t mean they should be together for the rest of their lives. After all, love is NOT “lets run off and get married,” soon as it happens. There are reasons why society expects you to have dated a person for an “at least” period of time. Here’s why I say this: We live and we learn. Dating is a first step to building relationships, falling in love, and getting married (at least most of the time). Dating was designed to help us gain experience and knowledge to better prepare us for our partner. But just because you’ve dated doesn’t mean marriage either.

Love and dating were designed to withstand the battle against time in a relationship. NOT only for a recognized couple, but for long-term friendships, which are necessary to our growth as people. 

You know, people have said that if you are with someone, with no intentions of marriage, than its a dead end and you’re wasting your time. Again, I used to agree, but now I beg to differ.

I know from personal experience that you can be with someone because you enjoy each others company, you have similarities, you have no one else, and you stick up for each other. I guess its like siblings (not to say they are the same as). You do everything together, but maybe you fight sometimes. Siblings are made to be there for the rest of your life, but you aren’t suppose to live with them forever… even if they do play a key part in our growth, and even in sustaining our growth throughout our lives as friends, rather than partners. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry once said “Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.” I feel this sentence proves my point.

Love is friendship, caring and kindness, a symbol of eternity. Love is telling the truth even when it hurts. Love is showing interest in what the other has to say. Love is wanting the other to always be happy. Love is helping around the house. Love is endless forgiveness, and patience. Love is putting the other person before yourself, and being their for each other. Love is thoughtfulness. Love is a shoulder to cry on, even when it is crying about another person. Love is a tender look. Love is “in sickness and in health.” Love is strength. Love is beauty (do i love you because you’re beautiful? Or are you beautiful because I love you?). Love is “I want you in my life forever,” even if that means it won’t be the way that you want them there.

Why leave a relationship that you are happy with just because you think you can’t and won’t get married? The only reason you should do that is if you were to maintain the relationship on a friendship level because you want to start settling down, or to ensure you would never lose the friendship because you went too far in the relationship. However, if you aren’t settling down, or seeking to end the relationship then enjoy the times you have together. Besides, if you are leaving a perfectly good relationship just because you aren’t getting married, chances are you will have doubts. And if you have doubts then it is a dangerous path to take. You could regret it later and it could be too late. After all, you couldn’t possibly know what the future REALLY holds. 

Remember that giving ultimatums is never a good idea because pushing and rushing into a marriage that wasn’t originally desired from both people in the first place could result in a lot more heartache than you’re ready to handle. If you know you need more, and they can’t provide it for you, then you might already have found your answer -to move on. 

Always keep God, and your family high on your priority list, and the rest usually falls into place in due time. When marriage is ready for you. Not the other way around.

A few Quotes (Perspectives) on Love: 

Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.  -Author Unknown

Who would give a law to lovers?  Love is unto itself a higher law.  -Boethius,The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524

Shall we compare our hearts to a garden -with beautiful blooms, straggling weeds, swooping birds and sunshine, rain - and most importantly, seeds. -Grey Livingston

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.  -Robert Heinlein

We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter.  -Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren’t even there before.  -Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966 

The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.  -Quoted by Alexandra Penney in Self

It’s like saying everything you think out loud. I mean I know it sounds almost oxymoronic but its a fair sentence, I promise.

Anyway, the main purpose of this post is to inform you that sometimes censoring the things you do, say, or even think might actually be the better idea.

Honestly, knowing when not to speak has always been a benefit to us as a people. But besides that, it’s kind of like Pastor Sam (the local pastor at the church I attend) said, “If you drive around with your LSU tag (college parking permit) on the car then you better not be doing anything bad!” As it is, more people pay attention then you think, more still are watching, and even more then that can still see you.

I was just sitting here blogging when I had an epiphany that was seemingly obvious but somehow jingled in the rear view mirror of my thoughts; It was the fact that I myself along with todays generation are so willingly plunging ourselves into a pool of strangers. Yes, the internet is in fact a danger, but somehow it has also become an addiction. 

I am curious to to understand how the internet could possibly be safer than many things… more specifically when I think of the harm that it has already caused.

I mean, the internet introduces people to many worldly things. Good, and bad. In my opinion the internet was made specifically as a place for freedom, expansion of learning, and unity through this media of communication. I too am addicted, however I feel like we aren’t actually thinking before we speak, or editing before we publish. 

Blogs typically started as online journals. To this day some people don’t want their identities revealed, yet they provide so much information. I’ll use myspace as an example. For those who do not know it is a social networking company that allows you to keep in contact with friends, or meet new people, making it possible for you to view their pictures, read blog entries, leave comments, messages, and more. It can be a positive or a negative experience based on why you’re there and exactly who you are talking to. However, strangers can view your site too. Yes, there is a choice that allows you to make your site public or private, however all it takes is a code (which I have seen with my own eyes!) to crack that shield straight onto your page, exposing all your “hidden” secrets. Thus, the “about me” section which is generally a summary of the person, their beliefs, possibly nationality, sports and hobbies, and so much more is now free for ANYONE with that code to see. Guess we don’t realize we are practically making our online trip STALKER FRIENDLY!

Now, stalkers aside. Police, and even potential employers are using social-networking companies to get to know who they would be interviewing. Often times, we might not even get the offer because of something they didn’t like, horrible pictures, vocabulary, or posting up our whole lives for the world to see. Why? For what?

I think mostly for curiosity and peer pressure because everyone else was doing it.. meeting boys and girls in their area and hooking up.

Now, the dangers have become more serious. Stalkers, and on the chance of being arrested for doing something you should never have been doing (be it underage drinking – caught via photo, hosting a party that had illigals there, or whatever). Or getting busted by your school who by the way practically force you to lie if you so chose to do anything that would be legal for any other person your age… For example: living off campus with your friends, drinking for your 21st birthday, missing curfew because you got in a fight with your boyfriend.

My point is, don’t be stupid about what you post up. It would be a good idea to stay legal to whatever documents you have signed your life away too… and if you so choose not to, then at least censor yourself.

Moving On – Living Successfully

How much should one dwell on the past? I mean, reminiscing every once in a while isn’t necessarily a bad idea but I’ve learned a thing or two from others who could do nothing but beat themselves over the head with a bat… and I’ll be honest with you, I’ve been there a time or two myself, and it’s not a good habit to get yourself into.

Now, if you are dwelling on the past only to have complaints on that which cannot be changed, keep in mind that even that gets old and eventually you need to get over it. If you dwell on the past because you don’t know how to cope with your feelings to move on, then think about the steps it requires to get over something. Recognize that yes, your memories were precious at the time, or painful even and they served their purpose of making you into who you are today. And now that you’ve learned from the past you can let it go.

If it is a painful memory that you are having a hard time getting past, forgiving yourself is one of the first things you should do. In order to live successfully you must love yourself so that you know “what is best” for you and are able to do what it is that is necessary for your personal growth.

After you have that down, then you can work on building relationships with other people. It is important that you recognize that people don’t enjoy spending time with someone who never gets over themselves, only speaks about themselves, and never asks a thing or two about you.

If you want people to listen to you, you too must listen to them providing them the same equal opportunity of respect and friendship available from your heart.

Now, some people may not realize that there is such a thing as living unsuccessfully. But there is, and by this I do not mean the status of your income. By this, I mean happiness, which requires your immediate attention if its lacking.

If you are having feelings of depression or emotional imbalances chances are that you already know it. Others may be in denial. But if you recognize the cycle all it takes is for you to fight against it. This may seem a little un-peaceful but I’m speaking from experience. If you let the depression suck you up into a hole, then you’re practically living unsuccessfully. You’re unhappy and theirs “no point to life.” Or at least that’s how I felt. This is why I encourage you to REDEFINE yourself. REMAKE yourself into who you want to be.

It may take a little work. But in the long run, you’ll thank yourself for it. Besides, you’re worth it!

If you’re human, chances are you’ve had a little spat or two in your life time… or if you’re like me, maybe a simple “few” would be an understatement of the day. Either way, I’ll ask a small favor of you in return for you’re success. You see, all I’m doing is thinking what’s best for you. It’s simple, just read a long and answer the questions I have below and you too can learn how to pick your battles:

Recall for me a situation that led everyone in the room to retreat to the opposite corners of the earth.

Now give a bad example of how to respond to the given situation.

Tip: Thinking about what you are going to say is a great idea because you have already had a chance at applying what you would say and how they would respond. This way you can weigh out your options before the problem becomes to serious. Putting people on the spot, or shooting out random accusatory statements will alienate the people who you care about, and your words (even if they are true) are more likely to go unheard simply based on the approach that your opponent (person you are arguing with) found offensive.

Now, give me a good example of how to properly handle the bad situation from above.

Tip: Listening to the opponent on their viewpoint even if you disagree with them not only makes it hard for them to get upset but shows a quality of fairness in your character. Thus, making it easier for them to want to listen to you in return. This alone is an accomplishment that has allowed you to continue your goal in a method that may be more satisfactory to you.

Now, the number one thing to remember before you handle any kind of negative and/or awkward situation is that you must always do it “with care.” This takes you up one level to where you’re first new question awaits: “What approach will I be choosing?” Because, you see… every choice of words that you choose will take you down a different path of reaction.

If a person is upset when they say something to you; It is important to remember that YOU initially and ultimately are the person who sets the setting. Your options include, but are not limited to 1)retaliation with words that could never be recovered [regret] 2)comforting them and asking them what the problem is [consider the issue] 3) asking them what you can do to make it better [approach the problem] 4) weigh out the options and 5) respond.

Other important factors would include the value of the relationship (be it friends, sweethearts, family, bosses, or acquaintances). In this case, questions to ask would be: How serious has this discussion made itself? Will this be a topic that will continue to heat up? Will we ever find resolution? Can we meet in the middle? Are you willing to accept that you could lose this relationship, or your job? And Is this fight worth it?

Constantly remind yourself what exactly it is you are fighting about. When the fight escalates you might agree it can become quite silly very quickly.

If you’re a lady, try to be ladylike.
If you’re a gent, try to be a gentleman.

Always give the kind of respect that you want. 
Take no less than the kind of respect that you give.

Accept what you learn if you think it’s right, and apply it.

Word’s are so powerful. This is why it has always been an important fact that you should always think before you speak. Some of us need more practice than others.

Always remember that when you say something you can never truly take it back. So, if you ever have some mishap in the communication methods you have with your friends, family, and loved ones perhaps you should consider that sometimes it is possible to say a lot by not saying anything at all. Sometimes all it takes is a listening ear, or even a hug.

Friendship is based off of many things but is defined as a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans. This cooperative and supportive behavior must however be a two way street. If it isn’t then it may not be a friendship for long.

People misunderstand each other all the time because either a) someone wasn’t listening for details and/or details were not communicated or b) there was some kind of distraction that captured their attention.

It is important to target your issue, address it and go about the language from another perspective or choice of words. Here’s why, if you were misunderstood in the first place chances are you didn’t communicate it to the way they would understand. Thus, rephrase, brainstorm, and address it when you have combed through the finer details.

Some people believe that those who choose many words simply do not understand themselves seeking knowledge through understanding others. I agree and disagree with such statement, however if saying what I mean and hope that it will all be understood and work out for the best somehow discredits me I will continue to do so because I am a freedom seeker, and a communicator. 

Rumors are another form of words that you never want to get yourself started in. If you never talk about other people in a negative way, or pass mean things about other people around chances are it will be harder for them to say negative things about you. But if you sit their pointing fingers all the time eventually the fingers will point right back at you. The only way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend.

Never make assumptions about other people. If you do then be sure to know the facts too. It is easy to judge people based on what you see rather than by the things that are concrete. There are a small portion of those close people that know, while all the others assume. This causes plenty of inaccurate views of others, and misunderstandings. Taking bits and pieces of information about anyone isn’t viable enough to say you know them. Besides, you wouldn’t want them to say anything about you.

Randy Pausch. Now here is a man I stride to be like. I mean, he has such a good attitude towards life, even though he has been told he is going to die soon. He has a wife and three kids and leaves us with wisdom that will be sure to enrich our lives.

He embraces a character which anyone could hope to resemble. He said “Brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things.”

“Simple advice that you’ll find hard to follow…. just tell the truth….” and so much more. He says: “No one is pure evil. And if you wait long enough they will show you their good side…. you can’t make them do it in a hurry…just be patient.”

Here is a very optimistic video, and if you’ve never heard of or seen the video about Pausch this is definitely a MUST.

“The talk isn’t just about how to achieve your childish dreams. Its much broader than that. It’s about how to live your life.”

I urge you to see this. It is from the perspective of a man like us who understands us at our level and leaves us with the “last lecture” that he has knowing it will be his last… and leaving us with the highest wisdom and teaches us how to apply it. He speaks with sincerity and care.

According to The Independent Newspaper: “They keep taking the Oprah clip down off YouTube because of copyright infringement,” Zaslow says. “But it gets a million views every time before it disappears.”

Randy Pausch Homepage:

http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/

Video Clip Links:

http://video.stumbleupon.com/?s=ithct48cqw&i=ufcchmyxqsuj9vwsemax

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