I came across this several weeks ago and just kept it on file. It is definitely appropriate today as we head into the Thanksgiving Weekend. It is an excerpt from“The Practice of Godliness,” by Jerry Bridges.

To fail to be thankful to God is a most grievous sin.  When Paul recounts the tragic moral downfall of mankind in Romans 1, he begins with a statement, “Although they knew God, they neither glorified Him as God nor gave thanks to Him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.”  To glorify God is to acknowledge the majesty and dignity of His person.  To thank God is to acknowledge the bountifulness of His hand in providing and caring for us.  And when mankind in their pride failed to give God the glory and thanks due Him, God gave them up to ever-increasing immorality and wickedness.  God’s judgment came because man failed to honor Him and thank Him.  If failure to give thanks is such a grievous sin, then, it behooves us to cultivate a spirit of thankfulness that permeates our entire lives.

Wow!  Have you ever thought of a lack of thankfulness as a sin? I know it may sound cliche-ish, but take some time to make a list of things you’re thankful for , but instead of just making the list, spend some time praying that list back to God.  I think you’ll be amazed at what happens to your perspective on your life.

Bridges also writes,

Finally, thanksgiving promotes contentment.  Few things will stir up discontent within us as will our inner spiritual struggle between the sinful nature and the Holy Spirit.  Its intensity caused Paul to cry out, “What a wretched man I am!”  But then he finds relief and contentment in thanksgiving to God for the deliverance promised to us through Jesus Christ (see Romans 7:24-25).  Thanksgiving will also promote contentment about possessions, position, and providence by focusing our thoughts on the blessings God has already given, forcing us to stop spending our time yearning for things we do not have.  Contentment and thanksgiving strengthen each other.

Thankfulness and contentment strengthen one’s faith because when we  choose those things, we are choosing to rest in God’s sovereignty.  It’s a trust issue – a faith thing.  That’s the only way we can practically apply 1 Thessalonians 5:18….give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

At the end of the day, it’s a choice.  We can choose to be thankful or we can choose to be ungrateful.  The choice will impact on how we live our lives in a huge way.

Psalm 100:4-5 Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise His name. ⁵For the LORD is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.

“In your world I have no meaning, though I’m trying hard to understand

And it’s my heart that’s breaking down this long distance line tonight
I ain’t missing you at all since you’ve been gone away, no matter what others might say.

And there’s a message that I’m sending out, like a telegraph to your soul

And if I can’t bridge this distance, stop this heartbreak overload!” – John Waite

Last post before I go dark for the holidays, so I thought I’d write about something pleasant (not ).

In 1492, the same year that Columbus set sail to find a passage to India and instead ‘discovered’ the new world, all Jews were ordered to leave Spain.  Simple as that.  They were given four months to leave.

King Ferdinand and Queen Isabel issued a decree on March 31st, 1492 that explained their reasoning for expelling practicing Jews.  Jews, practicing Judaisers that hadn’t converted to Catholism at some point during Spanish history, were a bad influence.  A bad influence on conversos (Jews who had converted to Catholism), encouraging them to practice Judaism either openly or in secret.  Encouraging conversos to be, in fact, heretics.  The infamous Torquemada argued that the Jews of Spain were the blight that prevented a religiously united Spain (nevermind hundreds of years of semi-religious tolerance in the region).

With only four months to leave, many chose to convert (hey!  a whole new crop of potential heretics!) while up to one hundred thousand fled to Portugal (later to be expelled from that Kingdom), Flanders, Italy or North Africa.  These expelled Jews were the origins of Sephardic communities in the Middle East.

A portion of those left behind that converted truly converted to the Catholic faith, but many became marranos: those claiming to be Catholic but secretly practicing their Jewish faith, living in fear of betrayal and persecution.  Man.  I would have left.

Be thankful this holiday season.

tmso

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Yep, Sarah’s 2012 presidential tour showed up here yesterday in the form of a book signing. People came to Orlando and  The Villages, a ’senior’ village where the conservative fires are stoked for their flame — Savior Sarah.
I can only express that the guy in the picture says it all, and I won’t blame the seniors having senior moments, (heck, I’m one), but, it’s anyone younger than 55 – don’t they even recall how they felt when Bush was the conservative they were all waiting for? He gave them Promises Promises, torture, debt, recession and going to war with God’s blessings – why are these conservatives so mesmerized by lack of substance in another empty $150,000 suit?

Over the last 10 years or so, I have had to do a lot of flying… not as much as some, but well more than others. When it comes to airport security, I know the drill: get in line, have your boarding pass and ID ready… take off your shoes, no liquids, gels or aerosols in your bags, laptops & camcorders must be removed from your bag for inspection… it can be a little unnerving! And while I’m quite familiar with all of this, it never ceases to amaze me that every time I fly there is someone near me in line that seems to have no idea how this process works. They’re not prepared, can’t seem to find their driver’s license, and are ready to walk though the metal detector wearing their shoes! Don’t they know how much they’re slowing down the process? The rest of us have places to go, coffee to buy and gates to wait at!

You know I have to spin this…

Over the past 25 years or so, I’ve been going to church a lot. Not as much as others, but well more than enough. When it comes to church time, I know the drill. Get up, get ready, get the kids ready, get everyone in the car, get through traffic, get the car parked, get the kids signed-in, get greeted for the third time, get your bulletin… sing along and have your bibles out. And while I’m quite familiar with all of this, it never ceases to amaze me that every once in a while, we get someone at church that has no idea how this process works. They don’t know where to park, they don’t know how to get their kids checked in… they don’t know the words to any of our songs. Don’t they know how much they’re messing up our routine? The rest of us have to fill in all of the blanks on our sermon hand-out and get to lunch before the Methodists get there!

When was the last time you helped a first time flyer?

OK, I really do have a paper to write

This may be very late for a movie review on Cool World, but I just happened to watch it at 3:00am in the morning today.  It’s a good movie, although it’s not fit for children to watch.  I think it’s not meant for children anyway, was it?  Anyway, I noticed that the way the cartoons interact with real people is very awkward.  It never ceased to distract me, maybe because I can’t avoid comparing it to advanced animation that we see today.  Also, Brad Pitt’s acting is so terrible.  It’s pretty obvious that he can’t see the animations in front of him and that he’s just imagining them, at the same time he can’t convince himself that he’s actually seeing them.  In general, the story is interesting, though.  The movie is entertaining.  Just ignore the acting, especially Brad Pitt’s.  Then again, I may be biased about Brad Pitt’s acting in Cool World because I don’t like, never did, but see and judge for yourself.

Acts 16:33
At that hour of the night the jailer took them [Paul and Silas] and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his family were baptized.

When the jailer accepted the word of God that Paul and Silas shared with him, his eyes were opened and with those open eyes came compassion. Paul and Silas were no longer just prisoners but injured men who needed attending. Before that, the jailer had been complacent.

I wonder how often I have missed human need and suffering because of a callous heart. I drive the same streets every day. I walk the neighborhoods. I go to the same grocery store and eat at the same restaurants. Am I looking and not seeing?

Martin Buber spoke eloquently of man’s ability to look at “the other” without seeing in his book, I and Thou. Am I looking at other as “object” … as an “it,” or as a person … a true “thou.”

William Shakespeare captured this idea slightly differently (but effectively) in the Merchant of Venice through one of the speeches of Shylock: “I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die?” [Act III, sc 1] Replace the word Jew with “the poor” and you get the idea.

The jailer could not do much. He couldn’t free Paul and Silas, he couldn’t change their circumstances, but he could give a small comfort: he could wash their wounds.

When I see poor and wretched souls, I become numb with the enormity of their deprivation. What can I possibly do? Perhaps it’s only the small act that needs doing in the moment…. washing wounds by listening, touching, asking, engaging, feeding, sharing. Perhaps I should stop worrying about what I cannot do and simply do what I can do.

I have heard it said that we can never “out give” the poor. Their need will always be greater that our ability to meet it. This sentiment reverberates in Jesus’s own words: “The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want…” [Mark 14:7a]

Is there anyone who doesn’t like the cold side of the pillow?

… I thought so.

I stand uncorrected.

note: “cold pillow talk” isn’t good sometimes.

double note: it’s a renewable resource.

triple note:  wordpress  is having a video contest for things people are thankful for. I don’t have a video camera to be thankful for this year, but …
I thought I’d just throw some things I’m thankful for out there.

quadruple note: if you missed the “The Sweetest Things #1” scroll down or click or something … it’s close by.

.

notes to myself #67

Don’t stand so close behind Alphie while playing ball hockey in grade 4: stitches are involved.

I am contemplating going off the grid for a while, making exceptions only for the usual channels of long-distance communication.

Stay tuned for the verdict.

I know I tend to take lists to the extreme and before I know it I’ve typed 4,327 words so I’ll try to keep this short… just didn’t want to miss the opportunity to spill my guts on some things that I’m especially thankful for this year

1. Brian and Crystal – they really have filled a hole in our lives… so nice to have people we can count on, have lots of fun with, share all of our ups and downs with, and who will let us vent all our ugliness and still not think bad of us
2. Family – Daniel and I both have been so incredibly blessed! There’s nothing our families wouldn’t do for us. They are unbelievably supportive of all of our little adventures even though sometimes they don’t make any earthly sense at all.
3. Daniel – I can’t say enough nice things about him! He really is the greatest husband and way more than I ever deserve. I love you sweetie! Thanks for spoiling me so…
4. God – I still can’t believe that the One who created the entire UNIVERSE who knows me intimately, all of my short-comings, all of my yuckiness, all of my ill intentions, all of my screw-ups, all of everything repulsive in my life, BUT still wants me for His own! STILL wants nothing but the best for my life. STILL wants me to be so close to Him. STILL!! It just blows my mind! No problem is bigger than that! NOTHING!

There’s much more that I’m thankful for, many more people, many more blessings, but promised I’d keep it short Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!!

Mi hijo está a punto de nacer, lo hará a las quince treinta, a las tres y media de las antiguas pesetas.

Ya sé cómo será, alto, guapo, fuerte, trabajador, amoroso, simpático, agradable, ¡Vamos igualito a su madre!

Le costó nacer, no sé si es que no quería verme o no sabía por dónde se salía, y mira que tenía un letrero que le ponía “Salida” esos fosforitos que hay por todas partes, pues ni eso, la cuestión es que al final nos vimos las caras, él una de pepino y yo, de llorona.

Hoy, Josep cumple veintisiete años, veintisiete años de mi vida y de la suya, cada año nace en mí, juntos seguimos creciendo, no lo veo tanto como quisiera, pero bueno, ahí está.

Hoy su abuela le ha hecho boniatos fritos, a él le encantan, no comía eso cuando nació, pero ya se le veía lo tragón que sería, la comida le chifla… ves? esto no es como a su madre.

Con perdón de los presentes, hoy es nuestro día.

T´estimo Josep. 

Waking up just in time for lunch, learning new songs on guitar, taking walks to nowhere and watching brainless movie like Twilight and Ghosts of Girlfriend’s past. I’ve been leading this life for the past few days and I. AM. SO. BORED.

I am in Malacca now. Again.

I’m here for my dear husband-to-be, he’s been working hard and the least I could do is to be here physically to give him the emotional and physical support. This shoot hasn’t been a bed of roses for him and he did it for the money, and the money is for the wedding and baby. I’m glad I am here, but sometimes I felt like Tom Hanks in Cast Away, only 10 times more glamorous but not less lonely.

I’ve bought my laptop along with me so that I can do some video editing during my free times, I have finished one project and am working on the next one but it’s so tiring. I had finished reading both of my maternity magazines and had watched 2 brainless movies, I had gone for walks alone with families and banana truck drivers staring at me, wondering ‘why is this girl doing alone in this resort?’

However bored I am, at some point I am thankful. I have never thought there will be this part of chapter in my life. I don’t have to worry about money, don’t have to wake up everyday to drag myself to work, don’t have to worry about my family, my dog… I am thankful that I am enjoying a slow-paced life with no plans tomorrow and no plans the day after. I am thankful for Nellie, for the love he has been showering on me. Yesterday I told him, ‘I have no plans, I don’t even know when I’m going home.’

Him: ‘Don’t worry about a thing. You will be bored at home.’

Me: ‘As if I have a lot of things to do here.’

Him: ‘ At least there’s me.’

True. Though he works the whole day and we only see each other during meal times bedtime, it’s good enough to see him and that I’m staying  in a roomful of him. How silly is that thought, but silliness is forgiven when you are in love.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about a few ways to save some money. One of the methods I mentioned, one that I’ve used in the past, is walking. It saves you some money, gets the sleep out of your body and helps you get ready to face the day.

I’ve found that when I walk to work I usually end up doing my job better and faster. I also manage my entire day more effectively. The last time I walked regularly, it kept me in shape as well.

But getting up sooner so that you can leave the house earlier to make it on time to work is not an easy task. Especially if you’re a night owl like me. I can stay up really late, but getting up early is another story. I can do it for a day or two, but doing it regularly is difficult. I know it’s not impossible. I’ve done it before. But for some reason, it’s been harder this past week.

You see, I haven’t been walking for the last 3 months. I’ve been busy being a happy newlywed. When I came back to work I just used the motorbike to commute because it was cheaper than using the minibus and much much faster.

Last week my knees started giving me warning signals. I’ve gained weight and my very sedentary lifestyle has ended up giving me a few aches that are not pleasant in any way. So I decided to start walking again.

That’s as far as I got. It is now Wednesday and I haven’t yet walked a single day this week.

I can’t let this go on, so I decided to find inspiration the same way I did a year ago. Being the geek that I am, a lot of my motivation has something to do with sitting in front of a computer. This is what I’m doing now in the hopes that I’ll be walking regularly soon:

• Tell people about it: That’s what I’m doing by posting about this. That way I’ll feel guilty if I don’t walk because I’ve told you I’m going to do it.
• Map out nice routes: I visit Google Maps and then I map out routes (add the distance measurement tool to Maps) from home to the office that are not straight, that involve some old roads with trees on them and that vary in length from 4kms to 8kms. Different distances are nice because if you leave the house late you can just take a shorter route for the day. Knowing how far you’re walking is also nice because it comes in useful for my next source of inspiration…
• Keeping track of progress: Or lack of it. This is always nice because when you see how far or how long you’ve walked every week, you end up trying to exceed it or at least match it the next week. For this I use a little program called SportsTracker. You can use it to track all kinds of activities, but I mainly use it for walking. It’s free and works on Windows, Mac and Linux. It’s a neat and simple way to track your progress.
• Research: Even though I do know what the benefits of walking are, it helps being reminded of them. Here is a good site with useful information, tools and tips for walkers.
• Set a goal: I’m hoping this will help me get out of bed on days when I just don’t feel like it. It’s a very nice feeling when you complete something you set out to do. November’s almost done, so I’ve set a goal of 80kms for December. Now I’ve told you so I have to do it.

I hope this helps some of you get out and get walking too. Addis is a great place to walk if you make it out the door before all the cars hit the roads. It’s nice and cool in the morning and there are some great roads to walk on. If you do start walking or you already do walk, let me know what inspires you, what your favourite roads are and what you enjoy (or don’t) most about walking.

I don’t like getting my period. Even on the cusp of puberty, I didn’t understand why the narrator in “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” longed so much to get her period. Wanting breasts, I understood, but menstruating seemed kind of disgusting and, to use a word I picked up as an undergraduate, abject. I got my period at twelve, and never really moved beyond that position. It’s messy, requires more forethought than I’m normally capable of, and is pretty much an all round nuisance. Plus, I get crippling cramps – when I was younger they were so bad I used to vomit, and although they’ve diminished a bit, they’re still highly unpleasant. Sometimes, when I’m clutching a hot water bottle because my insides feel like they’re being forced through a meat grinder, I curse being born female. At other times, however, I can see the funny side of all the bleeding and the pain, and I’m not adverse to chuckling at the fact that when I wake up on the first morning of my period, all the blood makes it look a bit like a very localized crime scene. In short, I view the arrival of my period as something to be tolerated. It starts, I feel shitty, I stuff wads of cotton in my vagina, I pop pills for the pain, I have to go to the bathroom every two hours, and I count down the days until I can be foot loose and fancy free again. I certainly don’t think of my period as part of an amazing cycle that also allows my body to produce life, I don’t marvel that I’m shedding excess uterine lining, and I’m certainly not someone who thanks the goddess or who celebrates some mystical connection to the moon.

Stress can disrupt this glorious monthly cycle, and since my time of heartache and sorrow began, my period has been a bit erratic.  Recently it got to the point where I was over the two month mark and still no ‘monthly friend.’ Now in and of itself, this might not have freaked me out so much (after all, I’ve been so stressed and tortured that I’m practically vibrating when I walk), but about five weeks ago I had a one-off sexual encounter with a guy. While I remember him putting a condom on, I was so unbelievably drunk that when I thought back, I could not be sure that the damn thing stayed on and didn’t break, and since he was still passed out/hungover asleep when I left we didn’t really engage in any kind of small talk (let alone the more clinical pleasantries that would have calmed my mind).

Initially, I was too busy thinking about work and life to notice ‘how long’ it had been since I bled from my vagina, but about two weeks ago I suddenly realized that it had gone from being, ‘gee, it’s been a while,’ to ‘gee, it’s LATE!’ And of course, once you have that thought, your mind relentlessly pursues it, hunting it into dark corners and chasing it round and round. And suddenly I remembered all that nausea and all that achiness and dizziness and I realized that maybe those weren’t just physical manifestations of my broken heart, that there might well be an underlying cause that connected everything and that was far more concrete than just ‘heartache.’ Since life has been kicking me over and over again, I have spent much of these two weeks terrified, absolutely stone cold terrified that I had managed to get pregnant from one disastrous fuck. Because really, that’s what this year needs – a secret abortion – a veritable cherry for the ice cream sundae of shit that has been my life over the last few months.

After a period of denial, then endless hopeful Google searches (‘late period NOT pregnant?’), and then more depressed searches working out where I could get an abortion if necessary (and what the trimester cut off point is), I finally went and bought a pregnancy test last Thursday. Boy was that fun (another day where I really felt like being female is the short straw). Now I’ve taken a few pregnancy tests over the years, and they have an almost Pavlovian effect, in that they scare the crap out of me (even just holding the box makes my heart race). During the actual moments after I’ve peed on the stick, I’m a sweaty palmed maniac, imagining multiple alternate versions of the future as each second drags. Kind of like this, but more menacing:

As an aside, it always does my head in that most people probably take these tests hoping for the little positive sign, because when I approach the stick it’s with my heart in my mouth hoping not to see what I view as the sign of doom and despair. Anyway, after two minutes of pacing about resolutely not disturbing my little peed on stick (because the instructions were quite stern on that point), I turned it over, and let out a mighty whoop, because, to quote the Magic 8 ball, signs pointed to no. Whatever else was wrong with me, I wasn’t pregnant, and that news was enough to actually make me rejoice and feel happy for a brief while (lowered expectations and all that jazz).

However, even with the reassurance gained by peeing on a stick, my mind was not completely at ease, and thus I think I can safely say I’ve never been happier to wake up to stabbing abdominal pain and blood stained underwear. This morning I found myself saying an internal word of welcome and thanks to my extremely tardy friend.

I got a little overwhelmed today. About the possibility of not having our own house to live in. Moving back with the olds would be pretty awesome (imagine the help with the kids) but it would also pretty much devastate my morale. Married for 7 years, and back with the olds because we aren’t approved for a rental? Which makes me wonder… how much are caravans these days?

The rental market here is quite insane. We’ve only been through 4 properties, but they’re all overpriced, have such little space, are dirty and hot.

A friend at church suggested that I ask our current property manager to let us know if there are any rentals coming up prior to them being advertised, so we could at least get our application in early. Or maybe could we apply even before we see it (I just need a place to live!!! Please??? I’m begging you…) It was a good idea. I asked. This is the answer I received.

Hi Nicole,

You need to view the property before you apply.

The open home date will be advertised soon.

Regards ……

Hugely helpful, huh? Well, it may seem like a reasonable reply. But by “the open home date will be advertised soon” what she meant to say was

“you have to keep checking the rental site every few hours in case you miss it because I’ll only put up the open for inspection time on the day of the unadvertised inspection. And you still have to call us for the address, because we don’t think to put that info on the site. That’d be far too helpful. This is survival of the fittest. And if you’re too disorganised to check the site every few hours, then you deserve to miss out. You’re obviously not the tenant for us.

(Can you sense my frustration at how unhelpful they actually are to us?) So Craig has to cut staff meeting short, race home, get two sleepy kids in the car, and take off with me to 2 open homes that were 15 minutes long and scheduled at the same time that day, at opposite ends of the suburb. I raced through the homes, checking only to see if a roof was in tact, grabbed application forms, and dashed out to the next place. Great. Now the fun begins. We’re stuck with the rest of the 15 applicants…

Last time we even offered a landlord $10 more p/w than the asking price, because moving day is 6 Jan. Desperate times call for desperate measures. It wasn’t enough, we still weren’t chosen.

This time round, I thought it best to aim a little higher. This next property we’ve offered $20 p/w more. Ludicruous, but what else can you do? There’s only 4 properties in our price range that come up a month. And the supply is dwindling as Christmas approaches. Hence, I had an unneccesarily anxious morning.

Unneccessary because I know that I should “cast all my cares on him” and to “not be anxious about anything but to pray about everything.” I did pray. But the anxiety stayed. But I thought they were meant to go hand in hand? Why did my anxiety stay? I’ve prayed about it. As much as I asked God, my fear remained. Why is that? I think it’s probably because God knows what’s best for us, but sometimes that’s different from what we want. So I want a place of my own. For my family. God may know that it’s best to teach me more reliance on others, and so decide to place us in my family home instead. So I think that means that I probably don’t trust God making the decisions for me. If he’s in line with what I desire, I’m pretty happy about that. But when it looks like he might have other alternatives on his mind, I freak out. “How could that possibly be best for me?”. I begin to doubt he knows what he’s doing. Pretty stupid on my part, really. I can’t even organise my life properly, and here God is, doing a marvellous job of oganising a billion people’s lives so intimately for his glory.

That means my prayers have to change. I have to trust in what he thinks is best. Not just trust that my situation will work out in the way I hope it will. Perfect house, perfect price, perfect timing (I already know that my perfect timing and God’s differ…). I have to have faith that he will decide to do with my life the best thing to bring him glory. And if that means I live with my parents (or in John and Karen’s garage tee hee) then I need to accept that from his hand without grumbling. And hopefully, quickly, with thanks to him.

A few funny moments in my stress out though were: Craig informing me that “losers can’t be choosers” I couldn’t stop laughing about that.

And later I was being a bit picky. I preferred one house over the other and considered aloud only doing the paperwork for the one, instead of the two. Craig again applies his ‘wisdom’ again to our situation “beggars can’t be choosers. Because then the beggars will be begging out on the street, rather than in their homes begging. And you also can’t have meetings on the street. Too much ambient noise.” Yes, my love, you’re quite correct. Obvious, but very insightful nevertheless.

We are such polar opposites when it comes to stress. And I’m pretty glad about that.