Why yes, that's Andy Griffith AKA TV's Matlock.

I’ll bet you didn’t know, but STD’s among the elderly is a nationwide issue. Thanks to boner enhancing advances in modern medicine (and better health,) old folks are gettin’ it on more often and with more partners, one problem: they’ve been raw dogging it.  

Due to the astounding number of cases of Sexually transmitted diseases in older adults, the state of Florida released a Public Service Announcement, just for the “silver foxes.”

I’d like to do my older readers a solid and show the spot now. Because let’s face it, like it or not: your Nana is a vital woman who has needs that can’t be ignored,  even in her advanced age.

I’m not going to lie, I dry heaved a coupla times. But by the end, I was rooting for these lovable sluts.

THE ELDERLY’S LOINS HAVE GOTS TO BE PROTECTED, Y’ALL!!!!! Wrap it up you wrinkled hotties! This concludes my public service announcement, AKA givin’ back to the community! I’m such a selfless giver, what WOULD you do without me?

Stop Raw Doggin' It, Nana.

via

ABC News–Scientists studying swingers — straight couples who regularly swap sexual partners and indulge in group sex at organized meeting — say they have higher rates of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) than prostitutes.

Dutch researchers publishing their work in the British Medical Journal showed that older swingers — those over the age of 45 — are particularly vulnerable and yet are a group largely ignored by healthcare services.

With estimates that the swinger population could be many millions across the world, the scientists said there was a risk this untreated group could act as an STI “transmission bridge to the entire population.”

During the study period, there were just under 9,000 consultations at the three clinics. One in nine of the patients was a swinger, with an average age of 43.

Overall, combined rates of Chlamydia and gonorrhea were just over 10 percent among straight people, 14 percent among gay men, just under 5 percent in female prostitutes, and 10.4 percent among swingers, they found. And female swingers had higher infection rates than male swingers.

One in 10 older swingers had Chlamydia and around one in 20 had gonorrhea.

Foul. Fucking foul. I’ve never been more disturbed in my life. This almost makes me glad I only have one grandparent on each side (at least that way I’m comforted by the fact that my g-rents are not only NOT boinking each other, but they’re not raw dogging it with other old fogies as well). Maybe I’ve gone too far with this post but enough is enough! Old folks get away with too much (ignoring traffic laws, sending insignificant amounts of money on your birthday, etc.) and I will not let them a) get more ass than me and b) eliminate the world population with their dirty, dirty nasties.

I’m starting to think that maybe it isn’t Polident in the corner of their mouths after all…

MMango: Since when is an STD called an STI? That’s all I want to say.

Kinda.

Thanks guy.

-$.

It’s just a twittertweet symphony…Follow our Twitter