Too Many Chefs in The Reality Kitchen

Quick, name the three winners of the last season of The Voice, X Factor, and American Idol. Bonus points if you can name the winner of the CW’s show The Next. Did you come up with Jermaine Paul, Melanie Amaro, and Phillip Phillips? What about Michael Ray?

Of these three, Phillips did actually have a top ten single, Amaro is most famous for appearing in a Pepsi commercial, and Paul is now in a quartet that signed to Shaquille O’Neal’s record label. Yikes. And Michael Ray is barely even searchable on the internet. So I don’t think that I am the only one that notices that the reality singing market is very over-saturated. With three giant shows claiming to find “America’s Next Big Star,” at this point we’ve given up trying to find the greatest singer, we just need someone with a back story that doesn’t mind getting their some times in tune covers critiqued by four celebrities.

Unfortunately, the singing reality show is not the only genre that has become over-saturated. Now, I’m sad to say, that the cooking reality shows have become more watered down than a bad gazpacho. At one point my DVR had episodes of Top Chef, The Next Food Network Star, The Next Iron Chef, MasterChef, and Chopped waiting to be watched. Now you may say I have a problem, which is true, but the bigger issue is there are now more good cooking shows then there are good chefs!

What use to be Head Chefs and Restaurateurs are now those elite level cooks’ sous chefs.  And increasingly more common now are seasons like the current “The Next Iron Chef: Redemption” where they just bring back the old chefs.

Not only is the talent level of the chefs competing going down, but the winners aren’t going on to successful careers. This year Bravo is showing a series called “Life After Top Chef” which shows four of the shows old contestants, and none of them have been catapulted to the top of the culinary world. Even Richard Blaise, Top Chefs all-star winner and my favorite contestant of any of these shows, is still struggling to get his dream restaurant off the ground.

So what’s the point of watching and rooting for someone if the end result is you can’t even go to a place they cook?  Or when it comes to music, why root for someone if you can’t buy an album?

I think the final straw for me is not what the contestants are doing, but the judges.  It was one thing to see Fabio, another Top Chef All-Stars competitor, in a Domino’s Pizza commercial, but seeing judges sell poor quality products is even worse.  Aaron Sanchez, a main stay on the Chopped judging panel is peddling Bud Light to go with the perfect Carne Asada, cooked in, what else?  Bud Light. Lorena Garcia, who appeared on Top Chef Masters before appearing as a judge on most of these shows is now showing up in Taco Bell commercials.  I don’t know if I can listen to a judge tell someone their Risotto is over done if during the commercial break they are trying to sell me on a chalupa and a light beer.

All of this leads to the bigger problem, that we can’t actually taste what these people are cooking.  If you watch a singing show, regardless of what they do behind the scenes (vocal coaches, auto-tuning, etc…) we do get to hear that final product and judge for ourselves; we can’t really do that with images of food.  So, since I don’t know what their Indian Spiced Short Ribs taste like, it’s hard for me to tell if they are actually good cooks or not.

I guess the fault lies in my own expectations.  The world of American reality music shows has given us Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood in its best moments.  The top of the crop on the cooking side is probably Guy Fieri whose frosted tips and backwards sunglasses can be seen everywhere since he won American’s Next Food Network Star.  So maybe it’s wrong of me to hope for a new Freddie Mercury or Julia Child.  But just once I’d like for my love of competitive cooking shows to pay off with the winner being someone who could actually, I don’t know, cook me something I can eat.

Until then I’ll just have to settle for sappy back stories and hope that one day I’ll make it to that Food and Wine Festival in Aspen.

1. Reality Cooking Shows. I usually have no interest in watching people slave over a hot kitchen. Especially when their delicious food isn’t available for me to stuff in my mouth. BUT, I’ve really been into Hell’s Kitchen, Food Network Star, and…um…Top Chef…Canada. They’re all great for different reasons. Hell’s Kitchen is awesome because it’s basically Gordon Ramsay telling the competitors to “piss off”. Food Network Star is good because it’s kind of like Top Chef, where they have creative food challenges, but the competitors are fighting for their own show on Food Network. Which is a crazy big prize. So not only do they have to be good at cookin, but they have to be good lookin too. Just kidding. They have to act natural in front of the camera. But being good looking should also be part of the criteria.

Chef Ramsay doing what he does best.

2. New email accounts. No, I’m not going to share my password with you, but I am going to use this as an explanation of why I’ve been so distant. Around the time that I wrote my 200th post, I changed my email server from AOL to Gmail. YES, I still had AOL after all this time. I swear I was one of the only ones. Why change a good thing? Well, AOL became slow and annoying. I honestly never want to hear “You’ve Got Mail!” ever again. Unfortunately, when I changed my email, I think I messed up my WP subscriptions. I haven’t been getting any emails when someone writes a new post, so I’m sorry if I haven’t been to your blog in a bit–I’m taking a mini vacation.

3. Mini Vacations! It’s been a long time since I’ve been on vaycay. And by long, I mean it’s been about a year. So it’s actually been a normal amount of time. BUT I’ve been planning a fun getaway with my fam. Nothing too crazy or abnormal. I’m keeping it a secret though until I get back because I want it to be a surprise when I write all about it.

4. Roald Dahl’s Collected Short Stories. You guys know how I feel about short stories. Roald Dahl was a master of them. I’m eating up this book–every single story is good. I don’t know how he did it. Some of Roald Dahl’s most popular stories are, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda, James and the Giant Peach, The Witches, and Fantastic Mr. Fox. Those are all great stories. But the tales in his book make my stomach turn at the end of each one. He had a very dark sense of humor, so naturally I have a huge crush on him. Yes, he’s dead.

5. Super Paper Mario. Some of you may be familiar with the game Super Mario. Other, more experienced gamers may have heard of Paper Mario (N64), but only the coolest gamers (me) have played Super Paper Mario. This is a game for the Wii system. It’s pretty fun because you can change the graphics to go back and forth between 2D and 3D. I would recommend it if you like Mario games. The only downfall is the storyline which is so annoying. There’s so much explanation after you finish each section of the game. Ughh.

Cool graphics, right?

6. Not Watching The Tour de France.

Gordon Ramsay shows you what you don't want to know about the places where you dine out.

Season three of Gordon Ramsay’s show, “Kitchen Nightmares” premieres tonight at 9pm EST on FOX and I can’t wait! Yesterday I finally watched last season’s finale where Ramsay visited one of the worst restaurants I have ever seen, Oceana in New Orleans. His mission was to take this mouse infested, spoiled food serving, total catastrophe of a restaurant and make it a place where people might actually consider eating food. Of course the fun part is watching Ramsey as he shames the restaurant owners and chefs after touring their establishment and tasting their food. But they invite him to do this so he can come up with suggestions for improvements.

Ramsay to me is one of the most brutally honest, pulls no punches, borderline rude hosts on television. Between “Kitchen Nightmares” and his other show, “Hell’s Kitchen”, this man’s scathing remarks and bleeped out commentary make Simon Cowell look like a complete softy. But this is why it is so hilarious to see Ramsay on his other FOX show, MasterChef. Here he is one of three judges, mentoring a cast of amateur cooks who are competing for a life-changing grand prize, its network TV’s answer to “Top Chef.”  And the Gordon Ramsay you see on this show is just such a contrast, he is patient and comforting, to watch him you’d think he’d never cussed a day in his life. Is this man a schizophrenic?

 Either way there is no disputing the fact that Gordon Ramsay is an amazingly talented and successful chef who is awesomely entertaining to watch on TV. And quite possibly the hardest working man in the food industry with multiple TV shows and dozens of restaurants all over the world. Hmmm maybe that’s why he’s so nuts?!  Have a look at the two faces of Gordon Ramsay and see for yourself!

About 2:15 minutes in, it gets real!!

But on MasterChef he’s downright friendly!

Related articles

• Gordon Ramsay scores new Fox reality show: ‘Hotel Hell’ (crawlnet.wordpress.com)
• More Reality TV Show Ideas for Gordon Ramsay (buddytv.com)
• Interview: Gordon Ramsay on the Upcoming Season of Kitchen Nightmares (blogcritics.org)
• 10 Most Insulting Things Said by Gordon Ramsay (friendseat.com)

These pigs ears are soon to become a thing of beauty

I’m really thankful for reality cooking shows and the decrease in shame they have allowed me to feel for the ugly slop-filled meals I cook from time-to-time.

Nowadays, I place my platter down on the table with pride, knowing that the dish I have presented is considered to be ‘rustic’.

This is good, because ‘rustic food’ has now come to mean ‘honest food’.

Apparently it is important for food to not pretend to be something it’s not, because otherwise the food would be considered ‘pretentious’.

And we all know that being pretentious is just down-right Un-Australian.

Didn’t I say early on that we were all just waiting for the finale and Aarti to be named the Next Food Network Star? I could have sworn I did, Hmmm…

I enjoy this show a lot after the first few weeks and a few people have been dropped/cut from the show (way too many at the start with all the food being looked at as well.)

And who was crowned? Well AARTI, of course, and we can all look forward to Aarti’s Party’ (pronounced AhTee’s  PahTee) to be the next food show on the Food Network…following last year’s win by Melissa D’Arabian who beat out Jeffrey Saad by not having the attitude problem he had. The Season 6 winner of The Next Food Network Star, Aarti Sequeira, invites viewers to join her for a playful Aarti Party, where she shares easy and delicious ways to enhance American favorites with simple but unique Indian influences.

The final three chefs did a pilot of their respective shows and that was played for a focus group and Bobby Flay, Bob Tuschman, and Susie Fogelson, who were the three to make the final decision. This is really a great show, except for some of the ‘downer’ comments tht get made, but I think no one goes out of their way to make those – they are what they are because the food that has been prepared IS what it IS!

Although I think Aarti had a couple of struggling weeks, for the post part she was ready for her own show when she showed up the first day. The ease she had in front of the camera from day one was a real boost to her winning this competition.

Producing the pilot’s in the last episode showed the best work of all three of the finalists…Herb, Tom, and of course Aarti, and it was fun to watch…had you not seen the whole season and had to decide based on those 3 pilots alone, even I would have struggled, but it goes to show you how much the chefs had learned and grown throughout the 9-10 weeks of the season.

I am happy with the winner, sad Brad left when he did without becoming a finalist himself, and I look forward eagerly to the next season of The Next Food Network Star!

Interview with Bob and Susie

http://foodnetworkaddict.blogspot.com/2009/06/bob-tuschman-susie-fogelson-food.html

If you notice, we now have our noms de plume on our photos. Sydney did that to clarify for you that we are not the same writer in every blog. Also to save pixels, which have been added to the Endangered Species list.  And she calls me anal retentive….

On to the reality shows I watched, if I can remember them:

Bethenny Getting Married? “Lost Footage” was so good. I swear, I can’t get enough of her story. I guess it’s because it’s heartwarming watching her grow with her new family. I, too, remember when I realized I shouldn’t be cursing my head off in front of the kids–they were 25, I think. They do make you a better person. Goddamnit!

The Rachel Zoe Project: I vaguely remember Zoe’s latest episode. I do remember some of the get-ups (that’s what we call them down here in the Walmart class) her clients wore at the featured red carpet event long past–the Golden Globes? I also remember I like Brad. Not that I don’t like Zoe; she’s hard for me to relate to, I guess. My entire wardrobe doesn’t cost what she pays for a Channel jacket. Or five. Of course, that’s the point of the show: we get to see a lifestyle we will never know. It’s lost on me, though; I’m not about to “die” for fashion, much less starve myself to death for it. I do feel sorry for her husband, who might want a child of his own but will never, ever get one through Bones. That’s where my extravagant wardrobe waste-money went, Rachel. The Fam never goes out of style. 

Chasing Mummies: I only caught a few minutes of the latest episode of this show, too. (I see a pattern emerging–no wonder I can’t remember them.) But those minutes were amazing: Dr. Hawass screaming at three highly educated, accomplished, middle-aged men while they cowered in a cabin in a ship as he did. They were in the Mediterranean Sea, trying to raise a huge chunk of rock from the seabed, and they had failed miserably. Dr. Hawass’s eyes were shooting lightning bolts as he told them how worthless they are and banished them from Eternal Life…okay, he just told them to get lost, but he was M A D!!!! The Damned Losers did finally bring up the antiquity, with full media spectacle accompaniment and Dr. Hawass fussing and smiling as if he just gave birth himself.  I hope I catch the full episode soon. You could say I will be chasing Chasing Mummies.

Project Runway, Season 8: It’s Episode 3 and I’m liking this season’s designers better than the last already. This episode’s recycled challenge of using unconventional materials is a favorite of mine because the creativity of the designers is front and center, and they never fail to amaze me. They had to use design materials from a party shop. Of the resulting creations, so many were fabulous I couldn’t choose one to win; but ifMiss Gretchen Thang had won her third episode in a row, there was going to be a riot in my living room! The designer who went home clearly put out the worst product, no argument there. I do take issue, for purely entertainment reasons, that one of my favorite designers always ends up in the bottom, Casanova; he’s got a thick Spanish accent and the design aesthetic not unusual to his culture.  I.e., his costumey excess is not falling into the “taste” level the judges so favor. I’m all for class, but come on; this is a TV show and from his name to his over-the-top designs, he’s interesting. He can also sew like a pro, which some cannot. Loosen up, judges. You let the Safety-Pin King get by when he clearly should have been the first to go. And why eliminate two last episode when the second designer you sent packing was way ahead of the PlasticToys-R-Me  competitor? Maybe we need new judges.

Real Housewives of New Jersey: [I actually wrote this on Absurd To Sublime's website in a comment section, then thought, hey, why don't I steal my own writing and put it in this week's blog--which is overdue? Will she sue me for plagiarism? Eek! Don't tell!] I practically didn’t totally ditch the show this season because I wanted to see how Bravo filmed Venice–a city I love. Bad mistake. The ‘Diceys actually made Venice look like a cheap thrill. If Bravo does a season three with this RHNJ gang of dangerous clowns, I won’t be watching. Every time I see Danielle’s smug mug I want to barf. And watching Teresa and her gang swanning around in the tackiest clothes I’ve seen outside of a trailer park, which they clearly can’t afford and are ripping someone off to wear, is not my idea of entertainment. Might as well call this show The Real Trashwives of New Jersey!

Top Chef: It’s getting down to the wire and I’m getting caught up in the drama. They did “Restaurant Wars” on this week’s episode, and that’s always fun. It had a little personality clash and drama, too, and I get it–Alex should have been disqualified a couple of episodes back instead of getting the win with the pea stock he flat-out stole from a stovetop. I was sorry to see the Kenny leave, as I liked him a lot, but his cooking hasn’t been that great. I’m probably pulling for Tiffany because, yeah, I like her. But it’s a toss-up as to who is the best chef: nobody is wowing me with their abilities like in past seasons. 

Work of Art, “Finale”: Miles didn’t win! His self-indulgent, literally and figuratively myopic exhibit alienated everyone but the judge who obviously has wanted to adopt him all season. (Woohoo! Take that, sneaky little doggie!) Abdi won. He was my fav all along, and he came through, using his strong sculptural skills, along with other techniques, to create an emotional, challenging exhibit. Though I loved Peregrine’s exhibit, her carnival, while fun, was a little too Fun House. She needs to shed the art school “installation” mentality to focus on her best work, rather than compete with it–and some pieces were brilliant.  The upshot is I enjoyed this series and hope they do another season. But then, I love art and the processes involved with it.

So I’ve been missing Flipping Out, but I want to catch up as I love this cast.

As I said, I’m not watching the D.C. Housewives–the pretense of a high-class lifestyle was already outed from the get-go, and I’ve had enough of narcissistic jerks for one year. But there is a god, one could argue, and he created Richard Lawson to write recaps of Bravo’s follies. Sydney emailed me to read The Gawker’s Recap Savior on the D.C. Housewives this week, and he delivers yet again. Not to mention the comments are real gems, too. The cherry on top is a Susan Boyle song Richard left for us–pure bliss.

Until next week, ciao peeps!

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If anyone missed it, Lynne Curtin–you know, the RHOC trailblazer for finances gone bad–has been cut from that series. You can read about it onAbsurd To Sublime. Good move, Bravo. Now, start whittling the NY cast: Kelly, is that an X on your forehead?  

Here’s another blogger’s take on the Guidices, by way of a breakdown of Teresa’s Bravo blog on the Venice episode: from Real City Housewife,  it’s a good read. Annnnd you can get a huge laugh watching her VODPOD cartoons of the Real Housewives here. Brava, Real City!

So it’s been too long since either Sydney or I blogged. We know, we know! But it’s a record hot summer and if Mother Nature hadn’t baked and served us up like a Korean main course, family and reality TV  would’ve skewered us on the barbie like a Top Chef under-achiever.  

On the upside, I’ve perspired so much lately my pores are as clean as an airbrushed cover girl’s. Ha!  On to reality TV’s summer madness!

First up: I missed The Real Housewives of D. C. last night…on purpose. I had thought I’d give it a try just to see the different lifestyle in D.C., but then the cast appeared on The View. Bad move. It wasn’t even the faux throw down between Whoopi and the Salahis that was the deciding factor for me; it was that the Salahi beotch kept dodging the questions about the  White House incident and saying, “It’s in the book.” Oh yeah, she’s written a book and she was hawking it, Jill-style, before the opening episode aired. Mr. Salahi is so badly behaved he couldn’t even appear on The View with the other women after throwing a tantrum and a drink on a cast member at a Bravo dinner last week. The Salahis now have a celebrity lawyer on TV promoting their bad behavior with legal excuses. Gag. I’m not going to go there. Again. Period. This one is DOA, Bravo.

Bethenny Getting Married? had its finale last night, and I’m going to miss the Hoppys and their extended family. It was such a sweet show and how wonderful to see little cutie Bryn growing and thriving with so much love around her. I hope Bravo and the Hoppys can manage another season, but more than that, I hope Bethenny and her new family do what’s best for them, show or no show. It’s a happy ending I can live with, if it comes to that.

Here’s a quick rundown of many other shows I’ve been watching but haven’t had time to blog on lately:

• Chasing Mummies: I either missed the latest episode of this show or it was a really short series, but I finally fell for Dr. Hawass! The girlie-girl intern who peed herself in the sacred tomb eventually won him–and me–over with her persistence when she followed him through the desert on foot for hours after their vehicle broke down, trusting his Egyptian ability to know where the heck he was going while surrounded by nothing but sand and deadly heat. (They don’t have cell phone signals in the desert! Good to know.) The old guy producer was with them and he barely made it, not to mention the cameraman carrying about a hundred pounds of equipment deserves a medal. [Seems there are more episodes according to this list, but I obviously missed this week's for some reason.] At any rate, thanks History Channel for escorting us inside the exotic world of Egyptian tombs and archeological gods–like Dr. Hawass!
• Billy The Exterminator, an A & E show which airs–whenever:  starring as cool and cute a white trash dude as you’re going to find on TV. I just happened upon an episode while channel surfing where Billy was ridding a home of wasps and bees in the attic, and that stopped me cold. Yeah, I can relate! Then he caught a ninja squirrel chewing up electrical wires and later cleaned out so many spiders which had taken up residence around a summer lake house I no longer want one. This guy is smart, knows his business, and you’ll learn a lot about those little pests sent by Mother Nature to fight for her territory. Also, Billy and his family run this sticky business together, so move over Dog the Bounty Hunter; when’s the last time you got stung/bitten/chased or let your catch loose in an eco friendly forest? The downside of this show, though, is I want to move to the moon, where they don’t have any of these creepy critters. Since I can’t, I’ll be back, Billy! 
• Project Runway–it’s back! It snuck up on me, though. Bravo extended the show to an hour and a half, which is good because that killed the vapid “model” series that ran after the show last season as a by-product of Runway–it was like watching stick figures try to get up enough energy to talk about what it’s like to compete with other stick figures. Snore. Two episodes into PR’s Season 8, we’ve seen some good designs, warm, fuzzy Tim–love him, and the same old judges whose deadpan fashion sneers we’ve come to know and question. Hope this season is better than the last. 
• Top Chef D.C (Bravo is all over D.C. this year): don’t care, but it’s just because of my hectic schedule which is ruining any continuity and commitment to this show. Except I do like Tiffany, who won the quick fire and the main challenge in episode 8. (But she seems more like a great cook than a chef…he he, channeling Kelly here….) LynnNChicago/I Hate Jill Zarin has a good, detailed blog on the show every week (as well as on Big Brother), and Sydney is watching this one so she may weigh in if she’s not a slightly spoiled course of Pooch Tartare by now in this heat.
• Kathy Griffin, D List Finale: Kathy softened up on us this season. I think it’s her mom’s influence. Also, she’s missing her dad and knows her mom is not a spring chicken, either. We can take a kinder, gentler Kathy. Though in complete fairness, she did make me cringe and had me sweating a few times, as per usual. Good season, Kathy. Love that wine-tipping Maggie! You’re a good daughter. Oh, and LOVED the remodel! Ease up on Tom, though, as he’s showing the wear and tear.
• Work of Art: it’s down to the wire. Three artists remain for the finale competition: Abdi (yeah, he easily won this round); Miles (smack!); and Peregrine (lost me in her major wimpy back stab last episode). I was so glad to see Little Miss T&A Jaclyn get cut, as she made a major mistake in her final piece and didn’t include a GYN doc’s view of herself to cinch a place in the finale. Though I have to say I much preferred Jaclyn’s abstract piece to Peregrine’s half mummy, half tree. I’ve frankly gotten bored with some of the art. I’m sure the cast is exhausted by this point, but I hope they pull out more than Miles constructing yet another wood frame and/or painting a monochromatic rectangle, Abdi losing focus and defaulting to a weak painting when he is such a good sculptor, or Peregrine getting so precious she ends up with another craft project. Good luck with that, artistes!
• Rachel Zoe Project: Shockingly enough, I enjoyed the first episode. But I don’t expect that to be the usual. I like Brad–Bravo owes the gays big for its reality successes. I didn’t like Taylor, who is gone and in a media mud-slinging contest with Zoe at this point over why. So far, entertaining. But previews don’t give me much hope for the season, as I’m not about to believe Zoe could have a baby, as if…. Skeletons don’t procreate. Hello? But the celebrity “get” was Demi Moore and the fashion was fun, along with the giraffe. So who knows? I might watch some more!

Finally, I want to say something to Andy Cohen about the Real Housewives of New Jersey: kill it! Now! Then bury the carcass, get some illegal papers in someone else’s name, some identity-changing plastic surgery, and pray no one ever puts you with this puke of a program again. That’s my advice. Take it and you may be able to show your face in public. Because with shows like this, you’re losing your cred fast.

Okay, back to the weather oven for me, wearing the chains and shackles of family and work. So happy viewing, peeps! Until next time….

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For anyone who missed TrailerTrashTeresa’s recent appearance on The View, here is a link to it on Absurd To Sublime. It’s always fun watching a bad liar tap dancing like there’s no tomorrow. Good commentary, too.  

by Sydney

One of the funniest things I can ever remember hearing as a child was from a comedian, Bill Dana, who had a fictional character named José Jiminez in his comedy act, and with a thick Hispanic accent Jose said…’I am never forget the day’.  I know, it doesn’t sound too funny as words on a written page, but I guess you would have to be there to see in what context it was used, to really appreciate the humor, but here is a hint, the funniest usage was when it was interchanged for ‘Once upon a time’…I digress…

I AM NEVER FORGET THE DAY when cooking shows came to television. It was heaven, I used to wait with baited breath (loosely translated, that is ‘worm on tongue’). I loved watching them (except Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa), I have tried I don’t know how many hundreds of recipes, and the vast majority turned out scrumptious, and my friends and family (my loyal guinea pigs) have eaten at my table until they couldn’t move (wait that didn’t sound so good), so needless to say, I LOVE COOKING shows – (and a big shout out to my favorite, the Queen of Butter and Southern Hospitality and Charm…PAULA DEEN!

The next step was gradual and somewhat natural with the Cooking Competition shows, and these include everything from Chili Cook-offs, to who makes the best BBQ, or Pies and Cakes, and on and on.

Then sometime when I was either staring at the TV with my eyes glazed over (Yummmm… plum glaze over duck), busy in the kitchen, or I may have blinked…Cooking Shows started courting Reality TV and bada bing bada boom…now we have one competition right after another…there are so many I couldn’t possibly blog on all of them.

Some are nicer than others as well…take the Iron Chef competitions…they are amazing…they are based on talent – the two experienced competitors go head-to-head and 46 minutes later there is a winner declared by a panel of judges, each with a self-proclaimed sophisticated palate who get to taste 8-10 dishes and the contestants are judged on presentation of their food dish, originality of their dish, and of course, taste. I like those shows…it’s kind of like bowling – you don’t really talk to your challenger, and it is all about the talent YOU have as you cook and plate the food.

Another friendly competition show is Bobby Flay’s Thowdown – cute show, good honest fun while cooking and there is always a winner and a loser, but he doesn’t really care – he is there to have fun and challenge people all over the country who think they are the best at a single dish – he just tries to outdo the expert. Sometimes he does and most times he doesn’t – but it is good clean entertainment, and did I mention good recipes?.

Then came ‘The Next Food Network Star’, and ‘Chopped’ and ‘Top Chef’ and ‘Hell’s Kitchen’. Shows like these are the hard-core cooking competition shows, where if you can sabotage your opponent you do, and they are on for weeks and weeks because they start with something like 20 contestants (except for ‘Chopped’) and only let one go a week, and they are judged by the hotshots in the culinary world and it is NOT ALWAYS NICE. If you win – you end up probably feeling pretty good about yourself, and if you don’t – it could be life altering to take to heart some of the things these judges say to you. I would tell them to either Bite Me or Kiss My Grits, but hey…that’s just me!

Sometimes I can’t watch all the interactions, back biting, and endless admonishments from the judges…so I DVD the show and whiz through all of that just to see the cooking and judging portions of the show. And at other times, I guess I am ‘Loaded for Bear’ and I can watch every scathing minute and wring my hands with glee when someone burns something because…hey…I didn’t like them anyhow!!!

I am generally for the underdog as well…too many of these shows have some really arrogant people on them…like the ‘sous chef’ for one of the ‘Iron Chefs’ who got booted on the last elimination of ‘Chopped’ last week who actually thought the competition was beneath him because he was so much better than the other contestants. Buh Bye…

Or the winner of the Next Food Network Star last season when a housewife won her own cooking show up against a chef with some serious ‘tude’. By the time they got to the final competition, I really liked both of them and was going to be okay with whomever won…until that cocky arrogant condescending male chef Jeffrey couldn’t even reciprocate when Melissa said it was a great competition and she would be okay with either of them winning…and he just smugly looked at her like he was thinking ‘get real beotch’ I’m a chef, and you are just a cook’…now where have I heard that before? I loved loved loved it when he lost after that!

Seriously…take the time to watch some of these shows…they are not only good TV but the worst case scenario is you have yet another great recipe to try, and another reality TV personality you will love to hate!  More on specific shows next week. Bon Appetit as either Julie or Julia would say!

I have no clue what crack the judges are smoking this season on Top Chef, but they have just royally pissed me off! As before, if you don’t want the ending spoiled (or if cursing bothers you), don’t read after the jump…and if cursing does bother you, why the fuck are you reading my blog?

Okay, that last sentence was harsh, but I’m still pissed! Daphne’s ears are probably ringing from all the yelling I did while we were watching Top Chef. How the f%#@&*! do they choose the least talented and most annoying chef over Antonia, a solid performer throughout this competition and an all around cool single mom? Maybe her beans were undercooked, but the judges even said their major concerns were only the beans and the fact that she plated all of her items on one dish. Uhmmm, what the fuck? Lisa’s entire judgment was called into question from start to finish! Tom even said he had no clue why she chose to attempt to cook strictly Latin flavors (what moron cooks authentic local flavors if they’re NOT FROM THAT REGION?!?!?).

And then the bitch has the NERVE to chastise Stephanie and Richard (the two NICEST people ever to grace Top Chef’s kitchen) about not congratulating her. Get the stick out of your ass! You don’t deserve to be there, so just shut up and be glad all the judges drank so much they couldn’t tell how crappy you really cook!

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