My husband and I recently went out to dinner with the professional “Yelper”.  Is that a term? You know the type.  Logged into Yelp the moment they sit down at the table and then obnoxiously recording every moment throughout dinner.  Every dish photographed with his smart phone, every nuance immediately twittered about and written down for the big Yelp review.  Conversation? None.  How do you talk when you’re constantly typing?  Comfort?  Nada.  I mean, really, who is comfortable with somebody screaming, “Wait! Don’t take a bite yet! I need to get a picture first!”  And of course the nit-picking.  “The fork had a spot.  The server rolled her eyes.  The salt level on the pickle wasn’t properly balanced…”  Not only did he ruin our dinner, but also all of those near us by jumping up from the table every five seconds to get a better angle on the “bread shot” or to get a shot of the salad from above.  We were embarrassed, annoyed and, quite frankly, angry.  We wanted to RELAX.  We didn’t care that there was a spot on the fork.  We wanted to eat the bread, not photograph it.  AND we wanted to have a fun evening out.  The “Yelper” made sure that didn’t happen.  It is one thing to  want to share your experience, it is another thing to make the sharing of said experience more important than the actual experience.

The next “foodie” nightmare is the food snob.  We all know at least one.  NOTHING is ever good enough for their phenomenal palates.  NOTHING lives up to their extremely high (and they think educated) standards.  Last year my husband and I had the joy (read the sarcasm) of dining with not just one, but two food snobs.  A husband and wife tag team of, “They call this a gastrique?’ and “The menu SAID French style, but I know French style and this is NOT it!”  We were defeated before we even started.  They harassed the poor server with their, “I detect a hint of cilantro in this dish.  Can you please check with the Chef?”  Questions.  When they were right they gloated.  When wrong, they pouted and blamed the server for not REALLY asking the Chef.  It was a disaster.  I drank way too much wine, I figured drunk was the best way to handle the situation.  My husband, who is a Chef and NEVER acts like these people, took the server aside, apologized and slipped her money.  I am all for educating yourself about food and wine.  But when that so-called education makes you an insufferable pig, then maybe it is time to stop being so “educated” and start simply eating.

The final “foodie” type is the wine snob.  The person that tortures the poor server with 5,000 questions about the wine list and then when he finally chooses a wine, keeps the server standing at the table, bottle in hand, while he obnoxiously smells the cork and “tastes” the wine for ten minutes.  Yes, I DO think servers should be knowledgeable about the wine list, but I don’t expect them to be a Sommelier.  Also, I don’t hold them accountable for what is and isn’t on the wine list.  My wine snob friend once read the riot act to a server because SHE didn’t have a particular vintage of his favorite wine on the list.  Unbelievable!  Learn about wine.  Try new wines.  But DON’T be a prick about it. Please.

There you have it.  I feel better now.  In fact, I am making reservations for my husband and I at a new place.  The menu looks good.  The wine list is interesting.  From the photos, the place looks very pretty.  I am looking forward to having some wine, eating some food and having some relaxing conversation with my husband.  Do I care about the food and service? Yes.  Will I let it spoil our evening if it isn’t exactly perfect? No.  Because, gasp, some things are simply more important than food and wine.

It’s tempting to wonder whether Channel Nine’s “Be Surprised” slogan, heralding the return of Big Brother, is intentionally ironic.

See on theconversation.edu.au

Click on the link above to see a news commentary piece I did on the return of Big Brother in Australia. Youth and Media discusses Chinese talent shows as a case study in how global media formats seek out young audiences. It makes the point that these shows, often dismissed as mere trivia, are often the outcome of extremely interesting historical developments in the areas of politics, technologies and popular culture.

In this instance, I suggested that the revival of Australia’s BB testified to the importance of light entertainment in television cultures. As such, however boring we think it is, BB raises interesting questions about what television is for, culturally and, indeed, how ‘good’ television can be defined. Ultimately, this is more a matter of how the show is used than what it ‘is’, as a phenomenon in and of itself.

For more on reality media, see Investigating Audiences (Ruddock, 2007).

I have already asked her what she and her fiance like to drink.  They are in their twenties, so just about anything goes.  I will stock the fridge with coke and beer, but I also look forward to sharing some really nice wines with them.  I just love an excuse to splurge on a nice bottle of wine!  I am buying a Turley Zinfandel, BV Tapestry and Coppola Claret.  I can think of nothing better than bonding with my niece over a glass of wine.

On to food.  My niece and her fiance both work in restaurants (guess it runs in the family!) and are addicted (as are we) to the Food Network.  So basically, they are foodies.  Yippee!  We will go out to eat, but I also want to have plenty (read WAY too much) of food in the house to nibble on.  I have already bought tons of cheese.  A Humboldt Fog, Smoked Gouda, Port Salut, Jarlsberg, Stilton and Brie.  Also, lots of really great crusty bread.  A kalamata olive, sourdough round and Jewish rye.  Right now  strawberries are luscious, so I must get some of those, as are  red grapes.  Tons of perfectly ripe heirloom tomatoes, simply sliced and dressed with salt, pepper and really good olive oil.   I have been eying HUGE globe artichokes in the market.   Am thinking that I will grill them and serve with a nice garlic and lemon aioli.  Want to make a large batch of spicy guacamole and serve it with home-made tortilla chips.  Oh, did I mention olives?  Will go to the olive bar and get a wide assortment of olives.  Remember, this is just for when we are at home!

My husband and I want to take them out to dinner nightly.  They are in their twenties and like many young people, are struggling.  So dinner out is a treat.  The first night I will take them to the restaurant where my husband is an Executive Chef.  He is planning a five course tasting menu for us, complete with wines!  Yes, I am married to a Chef, imagine that (LOL!).  The next night we are taking them to an old-school Italian restaurant that we have been wanting to try for months.  You know, red booths, red sauce and big bottles of cheap red wine.  The final night we are thinking Mexican.  Not chain Mexican, but the real deal.  Have a couple of places that are authentic, delicious and we think, will knock their socks off.

What about the other two meals?  Well, we will take them out for breakfast.  A cute little family owned joint that makes a perfect omelet and a perfect cup of coffee.  Lunch?  That is where all the cheese, bread, etc. will come in…

I know you may be thinking, “Wow.  All she can talk about is food and wine.  What about her NIECE?”  Honestly, the food and wine IS about my niece.  I come from a long line of women that show their love through food.  By planning meals and feeding my niece, to me, is showing her love.  Also, I don’t know her that well, but I DO know that she is wild about trying new food and wine.  So, yes, maybe it is my way of also trying to connect.  I know that at the end of this visit, we will have lots of ways to connect, but  food and wine isn’t such a bad start.