I recently got a phone call from a friend who, in the course of the conversation, asked if I’d seen the latest version of an educational seminar. I had to admit, I hadn’t seen it. But something, either in what he said, or the way he said it, made me think to myself, “Is he more interested in staying up on the latest and greatest verbiage and/or graphics as opposed to learning the information to apply it?”

That thought immediately raised the question in my own life: Am I more interested in being a student of accomplishment or being a student in order to accomplish things?

A few nights later, I remembered a parable I’d read years ago in the Wittenburg Door by Mike Yaconelli. “The Door” had awarded it their “Best Editorial Comment” for their 10th Anniversary Issue. It was titled, “The Little Boy Who Wanted to Fight Fires.” And it clearly describes the challenge.

Here it is:

THE LITTLE BOY WHO WANTED TO FIGHT FIRES

Once there was a little boy who, ever since he could remember, wanted to be a fireman. The shrill of the siren and the deep rumble of the racing fire-truck had filled his dreams
almost every night. Deep in his heart there was a longing to someday be able to help people; to save people from the ravaging grasp of a fire. It was not just a childhood fantasy. His was the unmistakable call of destiny.

Growing up never changed his mind. To be sure, he had gone through all the indecision and doubts of adolescence, the well-meaning questions of friends and family who “wondered whether he could be happy as a fireman.” But he never wavered. He was to be a fireman. He was to put out fires.

Oh, how he longed for the day when he would no longer be a spectator, but could participate actively as a fire-fighter. Now, all he could do was watch.

Then the big day arrived. He was accepted at one of the best fireman schools in the country. For three years he immersed himself in his schooling. He spent hours honing his skills on practice fires. He studied fire-fighting theory long into the nights. His teachers were world-renowned.

But still after all these years he had never fought a real fire. As graduation approached, he realized that long-awaited moment was within reach.

But suddenly he began to have doubts. For the first time in his life he was unsure, afraid, and worse yet, questioning whether he ought to be a fireman at all.

It was then that one of his professors suggested he travel to Europe and study under one of the greatest fireman theorists of all time. He would be recommended by his professors and would receive the finest training available. It would last for two years.

The not-so-little boy decided to travel to Europe, and for two years he exhausted himself in dedicated study and became one of the most brilliantly educated firemen in the world. But all he had ever done was put out practice fires. Once again, graduation loomed before him. And, once again, he was haunted by indecision. He knew all about fires and could tell anyone how to fight one; in fact, he knew so much he began to feel that his superior knowledge did, in fact, place him a notch above “ordinary” firemen. He became increasingly concerned that he might have to fight fires with “uneducated” firemen, which could result in him being exposed to unnecessary danger.

It was then that he was offered a position to teach at one of the most respected fireman schools in the country.

He accepted. And for twenty-five years he taught with honors and received recognition worldwide. He died last year, and when they read his memoirs, they came across a strange passage written while on his deathbed:

“I lie here today reviewing my life. I still remember my dream, my passion to be a fireman. More than anything else I wanted to put out fires… but I realized something today. I have never put out a real fire. NEVER.”

What, in our lives – yours and mine – are we spending our time studying in order to avoid DOING? How much more life-satisfaction will we have if we launch out, and actually try to accomplish something with the knowledge we have?

The “problem” of lifestyle? How can lifestyle be a “problem?”

Lifestyle is a “problem,” really, only for those who are able to live above a “survival” level of subsistence. And that would fit the vast majority of people living in North America – not just the United States. The question is: How much is “enough”? Or, at what point are we consuming and/or accumulating “too much”?

I’ve been reading “Your Work Matters to God” by Doug Sherman and William Hendricks. (1)
The authors explore the realm of work-life and its connection to spiritual life.

One of the issues they discuss is this issue they dub “The Problem of Lifestyle.”

Some may be tempted to say those are easy enough questions. Others, particularly those who like to be precise and those who have a deep desire to be “right,” will find them a lot tougher to answer.

Begin by identifying the “easy” things: What are your real NEEDS? And what are your responsibilities in terms of your family’s NEEDS? Do you have a responsibility or obligation to provide for others’ NEEDS? If so, what’s your obligation there?

How about WANTS… your desires for non-essential things? (This is where it may start to get difficult.) At what point does fulfilling your WANTS cross over into luxury, greed, or gluttony?

For those who pride themselves on ONLY spending money on NEEDS, and think you’re doing really well on that front… how can you justify reading this blog post – online, on a computer – when neither the medium (the web) nor the tool (your computer) are really necessities? If you find yourself arguing with that, then explain why those are necessities for you, while Billions in the world’s population have no access, much less “ownership” of either.

Well, “Your Work Matters to God” points out several (inadequate) “solutions” various people/groups have offered. The first three are:

1) Prosperity Theology. Claims that the Bible is “God’s Book of Success… by applying [its] truths… [one] can become the success that God designed [one] to be.”

Without quite coming out and saying it (in order to provide plausible deniability), the implication is that the Bible is “God’s Book of Fantasy” – providing whatever fame and fortune, health and love-life one desires.

But that doesn’t jibe with what the Bible actually says:

He said to them, “Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.” (Luke 12:15)

2) The Franciscan Response (named after St. Francis of Assisi) Claims that God wants us to live more simply so that others might simply live. It’s a response that calls us to consider the plight of the poor.

Its claim is based on the notion that “the poverty of the poor is explained by the wealth of the wealthy.”

However, there’s an interesting quote from Michael Novak’s book, The Spirit of Democratic Capitalism, that points out the fallacy of this position:

For this there is not a shred of evidence. What causes wealth is intelligent economic activity. Societies can become wealthy through the blessings of nature, which the Creator distributed unequally. Yet richly endowed nations, like the Middle Eastern oil sheikdoms, can remain in poverty for millennia without awareness of the wealth awaiting their awakening. Societies may lack resources and, nevertheless, become wealthy, like Hong Kong and Japan. Societies may be colonies or former colonies, like the United States. Others, like some in Latin America, blessed with climates that make subsistence relatively easy, can languish without significant development for generations. Theories of wealth which try to ignore cultural factors miss the central point. Theories which overlook the importance of a system of liberty miss a crucial lesson of economic history.

Certainly, there’s an important place for considering the plight of the poor. I would say it’s imperative that we consider the poor, and try to help them out of poverty. But taking a vow of poverty, while possibly providing encouragement and empathy for the poor, will do nothing to lift others’ financial status up.

Novak goes on to explain the pathetic response from the Church:

It is, therefore, a sad commentary on the sociology of knowledge in the Christian churches that so few theologians or religious leaders understand economics, industry, manufacturing, trade, and finance. Many seem trapped in pre-capitalist modes of thought. Few understand the laws of development, growth, and production. Many swiftly reduce all morality to the morality of distribution. They demand jobs without comprehending how jobs are created. They demand the distribution of the world’s goods without insight into how the store of the world’s goods may be expanded. They desire ends without critical knowledge about means. They claim to be leaders without having mastered the techniques of human progress. Their ignorance deprives them of authority. Their good intentions would be more easily honored if supported by evidence of diligent intelligence in economics.

To put that in my words: Those who hold this mindset are under the false impression that economics is a zero-sum endeavor.

3) The Capitalist Defenders. Claim that Capitalism is God’s Will for mankind, that (similar to those who promote Prosperity Theology) God wants us to be wealthy (but in contrast to the Prosperity Theologians He supposedly wants it to come) through control and command of the American economic system.

While they are correct in stating that Capitalism is far more effective in generating wealth, there’s nothing inherent in Capitalism that requires one to consider the plight of the poor. And, while Capitalism has been shaped in part by Christian principles, it is by no means the exclusive “Christian” economic system.

They need to understand that it’s possible to defend democratic capitalism as an economic system without:
1) Confusing it with Christianity
2) Trying to show that it is the only possible “Christian” economic system
3) Needing to “Christianize” it in order to function in it
4) Excusing or ignoring its sins, flaws, and failures
5) Compromising one’s allegiance to Christian theology and practice

What is needed is a plan for generating/creating wealth – even excess wealth – combined with a heart for helping the poor to also generate/create wealth. (Just giving handouts creates more dependents who think little of their own capabilities, not self-sustaining individuals with good self-image.)

(1) I feel a need to “warn” you: the book starts out rather “heavy” or “dense”, probably as a result of it being apparently a re-written doctoral thesis. And it never gets “light.” But I believe it’s worthwhile reading.

I just found this old draft of a post. I started writing it back in February, but seeing it now, realize it might be worth actually posting.

I’d love to know if you find this helpful. And how it helps.

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I recently was asked to read a book on Bipolar II disorder.  I’d heard of Bipolar Disorder, and knew it as just another name for Manic Depression.

But I’d never heard of “Bipolar II.”  However, I figured why not learn about this, since the person who wanted me to read it, is close to me, and has been diagnosed with this, and wants me to understand the disorder so we can (presumably) relate to each other better.

If you’re inclined to pick up the book for yourself, let me quickly say two things.

1) I recommend it highly as a source of good general source of information about the whole Bipolar Disorder spectrum (who knew there was a whole spectrum of related diagnoses?), and a very good source of specific information about Bipolar II and Bipolar IIB in particular.

2) I feel it’s important to “warn” you that it’s both rather technical and also leans extremely heavily in the direction of “drugs are the solution for everything.”  (As someone who has a fairly strong aversion to chemical medication, and particularly chemicals that dull my thinking and senses, this was a significant hurdle to get over for me.)

As I worked my way through it and read about the symptoms, it occurred to me that perhaps I “suffer” from Bipolar II.  Then I thought about you, my friends and family members, and wondered how many of you “suffer” from it.

First, let me describe some of the symptoms.  Then I’ll talk about the natural remedies and preventative steps we can all take – that were either mentioned in the book or that I found subsequently by searching online.

Symptoms:

According to the book,

Bipolar disorder is a complex genetic disorder characterized by dramatic or unusual mood swings between major depression and extreme elation, accompanied by disturbances in thinking, distortions of perception, and impairment in social functioning.  The mood swings of bipolar disorder can range from very mild to extreme and can come on gradually or suddenly within minutes to hours.  There are two subtypes of bipolar disorder:

1. Those patients with Bopolar I disorder who have a history of at least one manic episode, with or without past major depressive episodes.
2. Those patients with Bipolar II disorder who have a history of at least one episode of major depression and at least one hypomanic episode.

If you’re depressed, you’ll be feeling helpless, hopeless, and/or worthless.  If it’s mild, you may be able to continue to function with some difficulty.  But if it’s major, you’ll probably be stopped in your tracks.

I never completed the next part – where I was describing the difference between Mania and Hypomania. However, from this site I’ve found the following helpful description of the differences:

The experience of … manic stages has been described this way:

Hypomania: At first when I’m high, it’s tremendous … ideas are fast … like shooting stars you follow until brighter ones appear… . All shyness disappears, the right words and gestures are suddenly there … uninteresting people, things become intensely interesting. Sensuality is pervasive, the desire to seduce and be seduced is irresistible. Your marrow is infused with unbelievable feelings of ease, power, well-being, omnipotence, euphoria … you can do anything … but somewhere this changes.

Mania: The fast ideas start coming too fast and there are far too many … overwhelming confusion replaces clarity … you stop keeping up with it … memory goes. Infectious humor ceases to amuse. Your friends become frightened … everything is now against the grain … you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and trapped.

If you have three or more of the mania symptoms below most of the day — nearly every day — for one week or longer, you may be having a manic episode of bipolar disorder:

* Excessive happiness, hopefulness, and excitement
* Sudden changes from being joyful to being irritable, angry, and hostile
* Restlessness, increased energy, and less need for sleep
* Rapid talk, talkativeness
* Distractibility
* Racing thoughts
* High sex drive
* Tendency to make grand and unattainable plans
* Tendency to show poor judgment, such as deciding to quit a job
* Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity — unrealistic beliefs in one’s ability, intelligence, and powers; may be delusional
* Increased reckless behaviors (such as lavish spending sprees, impulsive sexual indiscretions, abuse of alcohol or drugs, or ill-advised business decisions)

Some people with bipolar disorder become psychotic, hearing things that aren’t there. They may hold onto false beliefs, and cannot be swayed from them. In some instances, they see themselves as having superhuman skills and powers — even consider themselves to be god-like.

So, Bipolar II is similar to but differs from Bipolar I (which is what used to be called Manic Depressive.) 

The similarity is on the depressive side.  With both conditions you would have prolonged periods of depression.

The difference is on the manic side. With Bipolar II you would only experience the milder Hypomania, whereas with Bipolar I it would be full-blown Mania.

With that background, I thought I’d talk a little about what I’ve learned about Bipolar II non-chemical “remedies”.

Here are the non-chemical “remedies”…

1.) Sleep - nightly, for 7-8 hours. Making sure it’s good, restful sleep.

2.) Exercise - daily, vigorous, NOT just before bed.  (That will disrupt sleep instead of enhancing it.)

3.) Diet - healthy eating, including

(I think it’d also be good to assure that it’s a low-fat diet, although none of the emotion-specific suggestions have said anything about that.  I just strongly suspect that a high-fat diet, with the likely resulting weight increase isn’t going to make one feel good… at least not about one’s figure!)

4.) Relationships - healthy, good, positive, supportive, social interaction.  Partially for the emotional support.  But also to help with identifying when emotions are getting out of “normal” and/or out of control.  (Someone who’s severely depressed or severely manic isn’t likely to be able to identify their own condition, much less communicate it to someone else.  But a close friend or relative probably can, and can seek qualified, professional help if need be.)

5.) Prayer/Meditation – to get/stay grounded and peaceful.

6.) Scented baths/Aromatherapy – again to relieve stress.

7.) Light therapy – if also suffering from or triggered by SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) that is: depression triggered by the seasonal loss of sunlight.

8.) St. John’s Wort – OK, this is starting to get into “medication” – sort of.  But it’s an herb, not a chemical drug, that’s supposed to help (after a couple of weeks’ use.)  It can be found in health-food stores.  (This can also help with SAD.)

Well, that’s about all! Please let me know if (and how) this helps! I’d particularly love to hear any positive results from following any of these remedies after a few weeks or months!

Sunday, after church, I was talking with someone who I barely knew. His name is Jehaan. He’d been with Highway Community for quite a while longer than me, and in fact, is on staff at the church.

I believe Highway Community has been in existence for more than 10 years, but only a few years ago they expanded when they were approached by Community Bible Church (CBC) to join forces. CBC had a reasonably nice facility, but they were struggling financially as I understand it.

Prior to our move to FL, my wife and I had been members of CBC for quite some time. Me, since about 1990. She had been going there since before she was born.

CBC was the “new” name for Memorial Baptist Church. And Memorial Baptist Church was the “new” name for one of the longest-named churches I’ve heard of: First Memorial Baptist Church of Mountain View. (My record for longest church name still remains: First Filipino Southern Baptist Church of San Diego – or FFSBCSD for “short” – where one of my college roommates was a member. But I digress…)

So, despite being one of the “new people” at Highway Community, we’ve got quite a history with the church. And surprisingly, there are quite a few Seniors who have stayed – through all the name changes, and style changes, and even building changes. My Mother-in-law is one of those Seniors.

Back to my conversation with Jehaan…

We got to talking about the church’s history, more the history of the building and a bit about the history of the people who’d been worshiping there over the years. He was amazed that so many Seniors were still there, particularly with the fairly radical changes wrought by CBC and then pushed even further by Highway Community.

Later in the afternoon, I asked my Mother-in-law why she and all the other Seniors stayed. Her response?

“I guess we’re just stuck in our ways.”

That struck me as strange. I’ve heard that phrase before, but it’s usually used of people who are stuck in their ways in terms of style of teaching (casual vs formal, topical vs inductive), style of learning (Sunday School vs Home Bible Study), style of music (hymns vs praise choruses), etc.

When Parkway Baptist Church, in Orlando started to change to become C3, droves of people who were “stuck in their ways” left. Yet here in Mtn. View, when First Memorial Baptist Church of Mtn. View went through all the changes to wind up becoming Highway Community, there were quite a few people who stayed because they were “stuck in their ways.”

So, what “ways” are they “stuck in”?

I think the answer to that is instructive, and helpful. It’s a sign of maturity, I believe.

Here are what I can determine are the “ways” they’re “stuck in.”

They are “stuck in” fellowship. They enjoy each others company. And they are good at sharing burdens and joys.

They are “stuck in” serving. They serve where they can. Some are losing strength and stamina that’s required for some areas of service, but they still are interested in serving where possible.

They are “stuck in” loving God and loving others.

They are “stuck in” relationships.

They are “stuck in” learning more and more about what it means to be followers of Christ, and doing their best to live that out authentically and with integrity.

While they have their preferences for liturgy, musical style(s), etc., they recognize that those things are of MUCH lower priority. And so they “put up with” the relatively unimportant things that they disagree with, in order to continue on with the important things.

There is no such thing as the “perfect church” here on earth, because every church is made up of imperfect people. And each person will have different tastes and differences in how they can best be served and how they in turn can best serve others.

I’m not sure who said it first, but I think this saying applies:

Wherever you are, be there!

In this context, I think that means, if you’ve found a church that meets your needs and where you are able to serve, then stay there and serve. Don’t get distracted by small differences. Focus on the big picture, and get “stuck in the ways” that are truly important – to you and to God.

I had never questioned who the Prodigal was in the story of The Prodigal Son. I just “knew” that the Prodigal was the wayward one, the rebellious one, the wanderer, the derelict, the outcast of his own making. He had done the unthinkable in asking for his inheritance early, and he’d gone away and disgraced himself in how he squandered it. He had made himself unlovable, at least in his own eyes.

His older brother had stayed home, and been a “good boy” – faithfully doing all his chores and helping out around the house. He was obedient, compliant, reliable, careful, stable, and loved.

We all know the story.

Or do we?

I’ve often seen myself as more similar to the younger son, the “Prodigal” – wayward, rebellious, wandering, somewhat of a derelict, and an outcast who can largely only blame himself.

Then, last week I received and started reading a book from my oldest brother. It’s called “He Loves Me! Learning to Live in the Father’s Affection.”

I was a bit nervous to read it, given the strained relationship I have had with my own father for as long as I can remember. Nevertheless, I picked it up and began to read.

In chapter 4 after summarizing the story, Wayne Jacobsen wrote (pg 26):

Traditionally this story is called “The Parable of the Prodigal Son” and is one of Jesus’ most poignant tales. It has been told and retold because it is so easy to identify with the son and the mercy he received in spite of his arrogance and stupidity.

By focusing on the prodigal son, however, we lose the central lesson of the parable. He was only one of two brothers, each dealing with an estrangement from their father, albeit in vastly different ways.

The central character is the father himself, and for that reason I wish it were called “The Parable of the Incredible Father.” For Jesus used this story to paint a portrait of his Father, and believe me, this is like no father you’ve ever known.

He goes on to describe how unusual this Father is. And how amazing his love is. He asks, “In this incredible story, when do you think the father loved his son the most?”

Was it the moment the father met the son on the road?

Was it when he gave the son his inheritance and let him go?

The truth is, it’s an impossible question to answer because the father’s love was unwavering. At no point in the story did he love his son any less than at any other time.

But the son… he perceived his father’s love to be varying. And I think that’s what I (we) resonate with.

It’s almost unthinkable and/or unbelievable that we could be loved so consistently and unconditionally.

I know I’ve never experienced that in my relationship with my own father. (Didn’t Jacobsen say the father in the story is unlike any father we’ve ever known?) Yet that’s the kind of love we all long for. And some of us would be thrilled to experience even a faint imitation of that kind of love.

So, I’d been reading that, and then yesterday morning at Highway Community the message was titled “The Prodigal Father.” I thought, “This is gonna be different!”

And it was.

Right near the beginning of the message we were given the TRUE definition of “prodigal.”

It turns out a “prodigal” isn’t one who is wayward, rebellious, a wanderer, a derelict, or outcast of his own making.

Here are some of the definitions from the dictionary:

recklessly extravagant
giving or yielding profusely; lavish
lavishly abundant; profuse

WOW! THAT’s different! It’s amazing the difference when you understand the real meaning of words that are somewhat commonly used.

Suddenly I can see how the story really could be called “The Prodigal Father.” It really is a story about a father’s love for BOTH of his sons. It illustrates recklessly extravagant, lavishly abundant, and profuse love being shown to both sons, and the sons’ unwillingness and/or inability to accept such love as it’s given.

Knowing the true meaning of “prodigal”, I now realize I have not been a prodigal. But I’m trying to learn to accept my prodigal God’s love.

In my search for “Paint Your Windows White” (for my last post), I mistakenly thought that song was written by Andy McCarroll.  And in looking through Andy McCarroll’s stuff I was reminded of this fun instrumental.  (I hadn’t seen the video before.)  Enjoy!

This article by Malcolm Gladwell was pointed out to me today with the note, Read this, it’s worth your time.”

It ties together several stories, pointing out a common factor: the amazing results that are possible for underdogs when they break the unspoken rules… following only the declared rules.

The stories include

• David & Goliath – from the account in the Bible.
• Lawrence of Arabia – and his battles in the 1910s against the Ottoman Empire.
• A war game contest – called the Traveller Trillion Credit Squadron tournament – where contestants (most of whom had a long-standing interest in war games) were given several volumes of rules well beforehand, and asked to design their own fleet of warships with a mythical budget of a trillion dollars. The fleets then squared off against one another in the course of a weekend.  (The winning fleet was designed by a computer – with no experience whatsoever in war games, war strategy, tactics, etc.  It just had been programmed with all the rules, to use as a guideline for developing the optimal fleet and optimal strategy.)
• A local basketball team from the Silicon Valley area made up of 12 year old girls – all but two of which had little to no experience, skill, or natural talent for playing traditional basketball.

In each case the underdog came out, if not on top, then at least FAR better off than conventional wisdom would predict.

What did each do?

David surprised Goliath by running at him, instead of patiently marching out to the slaughter.  It was a surprise attack.  Goliath never figured out what was happening.

Lawrence surprised his foes too.  Rather than directly attacking Medina, he attacked them all along their poorly-guarded supply route.  Rather than attacking Aqaba from the sea, he again used the strength of his troops – mobility and the ability to travel long distances in the deserts – by attacking from the desert.

The well-versed strategists in the war games were surprised by the plan concocted by the computer – to create a HUGE floatilla of small but well-armed boats, each of which was considered expendable.  (One strategy, not normally “approved” is to sacrifice one’s own resources for the ultimate goal.)

The inexperienced and unskilled basketball team had a phenomenal season because they incorporated strategies that played upon strengths they were able to develop – endurance – and weaknesses caused by assumptions of regular players.  (That “fair play” means allowing the opposing team to normally get the ball inbounds and down the court with little, to no resistance.)  What’d they do?  They trained for conditioning, and then played a maniacal full-court press buzzer to buzzer.  (They even had one game where only 4 of their girls showed up and played anyway.  Sure, it was one of their few losses… but far from getting slaughtered, they lost by only 3 points!)

How’s that apply in my life?

Not completely sure.  I think it’s something I’ll need to work out.  After all, in each case, the underdogs took at least a little, if not quite a bit of time to assess their situation, their strangths, their weaknesses, and what they were really trying to accomplish.

One thing is clear though…

When playing as the underdog, if you skew things in your favor and, against all odds, start succeeding… then others are likely to object… perhaps quite strenuously.  But I believe that’s all part of “counting the cost.”

This clip of comedian Louis C.K.’s appearance on Conan’s show is a funny, clear explanation of how we take so many amazing things for granted.  Some of the things he touches on include: telephones, banking, internet, and transportation.

I LOVE his little story:

This is what people are like: they’ve got their phone [acts out dialing on a cell phone] and they’re like, “Ugghh!!… …  [waiting for a connection] It won’t… … “  GIVE IT A SECOND!!!  It’s going to SPACE!  Can you give it a SECOND to get back from SPACE?  Is the speed of light too slow for you?

Then, after relating another funny story of someone getting frustrated with the failure of some totally new service he point out the ingratitude by saying, “How quickly the world owes him something he knew existed only 10 seconds ago?

Everything is Amazing, Nobody is Happy

We’re so quick to lose perspective.

As I’m writing this I’m reminded of an experience I had back in 1992.  That was the year Intel released the 486DX2 which increased computer processing speed all the way up to 66MHz.  (If my understanding is right, for comparison, current consumer-grade computers are frequently at least 45 times faster.)

I was tasked with putting together a small ad to place in a national magazine.  A friend worked for one of the local mainframe computer companies.  Their computers were among the best in the world for dealing with graphics – they had lots of memory, and were significantly faster than anything else out there.

Well, we had scanned in images of the album, and each of those images took up about 10-15 MB of memory.  (Which at that time was an awful lot, given that one had a “lot” of storage if one’s hard drive could handle two or three of that size image.)  We were trying out different layouts, and my friend was getting really frustrated and upset when it took the computer 10-20 seconds to process our changes.  (At one point he was so frustrated, he yanked out one of the computer’s sheets of circuits and, using some tools, tweaked a few things before shoving it back into place.)  Mind you, this was a machine that was valued at something well in excess of $100,000.  And no other computer any of my friends had access to could have completed one of those processes in less than an hour.  The computer’s processing was amazing but he wasn’t happy.

I was amazed… both with the computer and with my friend’s reaction.  I wasn’t just content, I was very grateful.  Today, I can’t honestly say that would be my gut reaction.  Do you, like me, find yourself becoming less content and less grateful for the amazing things we are able to do?

Let’s work on developing a better sense of contentment and gratitude.  First step: pay attention to the amazing, wonderful things in life.

Most coaches are upset when a basketball player misses a free-throw. But this situation was different, and coach Dave Rohlman made sure his player knew that this time he was expected to miss the shots. “You realize you’re going to miss them, don’t you?” Rohlman said. Darius McNeal nodded his head. He understood, and missed the free-throws by a mile! What was going on?

It was a lesson in sportsmanship.

Here’s another account of this amazing, unusual story of sportsmanship… no, it’s not so much sportsmanship as it is selflessness.  Sportsmanship would be playing the game sincerely and to the best of one’s ability within the rules and spirit of the game without gloating over a win or doing anything unreasonable to harm another, nor getting unreasonably upset.

Despite winning this particular game

It hasn’t been the greatest season for the team, but they have stuck together through a lot of adversity.

“We maybe don’t have the best basketball players in the world but they go to class and take care of business,” (Milwaukee coach) Womack said. “We have a losing record but there’s life lessons going on, good ones.”

None so good, though, as the moment a team and a player decided there were more important things than winning and having good stats.

I loved the comment DeKalb coach Rohlman later made:

“This is something our kids will hold for a lifetime.  They may not remember our record 20 years from now, but they’ll remember what happened in that gym that night.”

As we live and work and interact with others, what can we do to develop a sensitivity to what’s most important?  To live out our personal Purpose, Vision(s), and Mission(s) in alignment with our core Values?

As an Audio Engineer, Musician, and one who has several family members who are in various stages of hearing loss, this article grabbed my attention.

In parallel studies in human and mouse, two groups of researchers have come to the same conclusion: that a new kind of gene is associated with progressive hearing loss.  The new gene – called a microRNA – is a tiny fragment of RNA that affects the production of hundreds of other molecules within sensory hair cells of the inner ear.

This is some rather good news!

In order to solve a problem, one must first identify the problem.  We’ve done that… in specifying that progressive hearing loss is a problem.

The next critical step is to then identify the source of the problem.  If only the problem, and not the source is identified, it’s likely that the only thing treated will be symptoms.  And treating only symptoms can create even more problems.

At this point we’re still only able to treat the symptoms of progressive hearing loss.  Most often that’s done by making things louder… either yelling, turning up the volume on the sound system, using hearing aid(s), or some combination of those options.  But none of those really fixes the real problem… that hearing is progressively declining.  In fact, they may be causing even more hearing loss.

But with this new breakthrough in research, we may (hopefully) soon be able to find a remedy if not cure for progressive hearing loss.  Think of all the people who would be helped by this.

… by the age of ten, one in 500 children has suffered significant hearing impairment and the majority of over-70s are affected.

Meanwhile, we can each do our part to protect our own hearing by Practicing Safe Sound.

A while back, I was trying to fill in my music collection.  There was an instrumental piece that one of my older brothers unintentionally introduced me to – back in the early ’70s – that has bounced around in my head over the years.  I had knew the piece was by a band called “Focus.”  But I wasn’t sure of the title.  The only song title by them that I could recall was “Hocus Pocus.”  I remember thinking it was funny… asking for “Hocus Pocus by Focus.”

So, when filling in my collection, my wife offered to use some free download-bucks to buy me some one-hit-wonder music, and I chose Hocus Pocus by Focus as one of them.

It’s a fun tune, but not the one I remembered.

Here, for your enjoyment, is one hyper-fast live version I just found.  The studio version my wife downloaded for me is quite a bit slower, but still fun.  I just doesn’t quite have that drugged/uppers/speed vibe to it. 

Anyway, today I was surfing the web again, and ran across the REAL song I remembered.  The one that’s been bouncing around in my head is really called “House Of The King.”  Here’s the original music video of it.

Just for fun, here is a link to a live version where Jan Akkerman breaks a string (48 seconds in) and yet continues playing without too many in the audience noticing any difference.

The best version I’ve found (both audio and video are good) is this one from a 1990 reunion performance:

Here’s some advice I just found from Dr. Duke Johnson

You have a great opportunity to … [make] lifestyle changes that will allow you to enjoy a new level of health and vitality. I suggest that you start making a few changes, today! When these changes become a natural part of your lifestyle in a few weeks, make a few more changes. Everything begins with a single step. Everyone can make at least one lifestyle change.

Here is a reference list for you to use to make lifestyle changes now.

• See your doctor before you begin any weight-loss program. [Note: Does this sound familiar?] Working with your doctor, have your homocysteine, cholesterol panel, fasting sugar, fasting insulin, triglycerides, and thyroid function checked.
• Start moving your body. Make sure to check with your doctor to see where you should start your exercise program. Park farther out at the grocery store, use the stairs instead of the elevator, or walk your pet more often. Usually, just beginning some activity will make you feel better.
• Learn to closely calculate the number of calories you are consuming per day. It doesn’t have to be exact and should only take a day or two to learn how. Enlist the professional help of a dietitian or nutritionist if you need additional education on how many calories you should be consuming per day. [Note: A simpler alternative to calorie-counting is to follow the HealthPointe Wellness Program.  Please leave a comment if you are interested in getting more information, noting whether or not you'd prefer to have your comment published.]
• Take a serious look at how to lose weight with lifestyle changes rather than fad diets.
• Learn about the fats. Reduce the “bad” fats in your diet – high-saturated, trans, animal, and partially hydrogenated oils.
• Support optimal health by making sure you’re giving your body the essential vitamins like B, C, D, E, calcium, chromium, magnesium, and other minerals. Be sure to discuss your diet with a medical professional to make sure you’re taking the right supplements to meet your nutritional needs.
• Make fruits and vegetables a priority with five to seven servings per day.
• All carbohydrates aren’t bad, and you need to have a balance of “good” carbs in your diet to achieve optimal health.
• Consume fewer processed foods. Add fresh fruits, vegetables, and lean meats to avoid additional salt and empty calories.
• Reduce simple sugars and high-fructose corn syrup.
• Stop smoking or reduce smoking. If you can’t stop smoking, reducing your cigarettes per day is better than not reducing at all.
• Get help if you’re having trouble with stress or depression. Stress suppresses your immune function. Get help from a trained professional or lay counselor. There are many agencies that offer free or reduced-fee counseling services depending on your situation.
• Reduce your blood pressure through healthy weight loss – eating less and moving more.

Choose a couple of items on this list that you can do. The key is to take the first step! Optimal health doesn’t come in a container. It comes from making lifestyle changes. Come on, let’s get serious about our health! You and your loved ones will be glad you did.

We all know that the more closely we follow these guidelines, the closer we’ll come to having Optimal Health!

An analysis of scientific articles’ impact recently disclosed that although other articles’ citations are the “gold standard”, another valid measure is to look at the unique downloads.

This reminds me of an experience I had more than 10 years ago…

I was working as the Music Buyer in an independent Christian retail store.  At that time, the national sales charts had been created using data gathered from stores.

Sounds reasonable, right?  After all, who would know better than a Music Buyer what has sold?

Problem was, the Music Buyers who were being surveyed unintentionally – or at least I assume it was unintentional – introduced their own biases and blind-spots.

Then one day along came SoundScan.  Rather than just polling Music Buyers, SoundScan collected information from the stores’ computer-generated sales records.  Suddenly, Country Music showed up on the charts.  Everyone was shocked to discover that Country Music was “suddenly” popular.

A while later, SoundScan was introduced to the Christian Retailing industry.  And, voila!  “Suddenly” Christian Music was surprisingly popular.

I remember reading about the shock of the mainstream Music Buyers as they suddenly saw one artist in particular show up on the charts – Michael W. Smith.  He was instantly well up in the Top 100, yet few of the Buyers had ever heard of him, much less, considered him a top seller.

To be fair, aside from these “surprises”, there weren’t really huge differences.  I doubt there was much more than a 10-20% change of any kind to the charts.  The previously “Top Selling” artists didn’t suddenly disappear completely from the charts.  And, with few exceptions (such as Michael W. Smith), “unknowns” didn’t suddenly dominate the charts.

Now, back to the present.  With this suggestion of using unique hits as a predicter of a particular science article’s impact, three things will likely happen:

1) The impact predictions will come much faster – 2 years, according to the analysis article.

2) The results of this new prediction model will, due to coming out first, impact the citations – leading to them being a self-fulfilling prophecy.

3) There will be less bias in the predicitons since they won’t be based on others’ biased opinion about which scientific articles are worth citing.

Today was an amazingly productive day and yet strangely, I felt like I’d wasted a whole bunch of time.

I’ve been reading The 4-Hour work Week.  And in the section I just finished reading the author talked about being ruthless in eliminating W4W… Work for Work.  In other words, stop wasting time with busy-ness.

He made a funny comment about a good way to get a raise is to look busy at work.  And one way to do that is to walk around carrying a pile of papers and constantly talking on your cell phone to business associates.  People will see you busily doing something all day and say of you, “they’re so busy… they deserve a raise!”  Now the vast majority of companies don’t work that way, at least I hope for their sake they don’t, but there is a grain of truth to that.

We do tend to fill our days with all manner of busy stuff – checking for voicemail messages, disrupting everything for every email or text message or twitter.  Checking our favorite sites for the latest news – CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, Drudge Report, The Huffington Post, Daily Kos, etc., etc.  When for the most part, none of that has any direct bearing on our immediate lives (other than to get us upset about the latest bad news) and relatively little of real importance for us to know that we couldn’t find out in far less time.

He gives an example of how he quickly got himself up-to-speed for a Presidential election – tapping into the insights from several like-minded smart friends, and then watching the debates before making his decision.  He saved himself all the time of listening/watching every “talking head” pontificate about their perspective and opinion of every single statement and faux pas of each candidate from the first announcement of their candidacy – through the primaries and party conventions – and on into the final stretch leading up to the election.  (If you think about it, it’s kinda scary how much time we can waste on something like that!)  Note: he’s not advocating voting in complete ignorance.  He is advocating cutting the time spent educating yourself way down.  It’s effective (or, if you prefer, on-purpose, wise, or important) to be educated, but get educated efficiently.

Back to the concept I’ve been reading about… ruthlessly eliminating wasteful activity.

Today I decided to take some (for me) radical steps to eliminate time-wasters.  I cut way back on the number of times I checked email, I didn’t go to the two news/opinion sites I normally visit each day, I didn’t surf through another trade/commentary site that normally takes up quite a bit of time, etc.  Instead, I intentionally focused on accomplishing important things.  Things that I’ve determined are important to me – for income and/or long-term enjoyment of/purpose in  life.

So, what did I accomplish?

1) I made significant headway in moving a loan application forward to help a couple refinance their home and save them about $100/month, while giving them my best advice to improve their situation.

2) I completed several lessons in Spanish.  Moving me that much closer to my goal of being fluent enough in Spanish that I’ll one day be able to carry on at least a 5 minute conversation completely in Spanish with some of the Hispanics in our area.

3) I dealt with a plumbing problem with Mom’s bathroom sink… disassembled the drain pipe, cleaned out the muck that was making it drain slowly and gurgle, then reassembled it.  OK, so I still have to go to the plumbing supply store to get some parts to eliminate the tiny leak that remains.  But at least it drains quickly and doesn’t gurgle any more!

Oh yeah, I also got in a bit of a workout first thing in the morning… something that’s been erratic at best!

All that, and I still had plenty of extra time!  Which lead to my feeling like I was wasting a lot of time.  Remember, I had determined I wasn’t going to do several activities that waste time while looking busy.  So I ended up wasting the time in other ways.  Some of that time was spent just doing nothing.  You know, taking a real break.  And although I missed the busy-ness of looking for things (email, v-mail) or just looking at things (facebook, news/opinionsites, and other web pages), I don’t think I was any the poorer for having stopped.

Tomorrow I’m going to try to do something similar, but with one significant change: I’m going to plan tonight what I’ll do tomorrow – both for my productive time as well as for my leisure time.  I won’t plan my day within an inch of it’s life.  There’s no point in trying to cram every single minute full of “stuff.”  But I’ll have a better general idea of what I want to do – both for productivity as well as leisure.

It should be another amazing and hopefully not-quite-as-strange day!

In 2003 the Illinois state attorney general’s office warned holiday shoppers to be cautious of retailers who encourage them to hold objects and imagine the objects as their own when shopping.

Authors Joann Peck (University of Wisconsin-Madison) and Suzanne B. Shu (UCLA) wondered whether the warning was valid and, more generally, if touch influences the feeling of ownership and valuation of an object.

Their conclusion?

“In our research, we have evidence that the warning from the attorney general is valid. In four studies, we find that merely touching an object increases the feelings of ownership a person has for the object. This, in turn, results in a person being willing to pay more for most objects that they touch versus objects that they cannot touch.  We also find that when touch is unavailable, such as shopping online, having people imagine owning a product increases their perception of ownership and how much they are willing to pay for a product.”

The research may help explain the link between touch and impulse purchasing, the authors explain. “Encouraging touch in a retail store, as Apple does for products like the iPhone, may increase the feelings of perceived ownership and influence the amount a customer is willing to pay for a product.” Likewise, offers of “free trials” for a certain time before the consumer is obligated to pay are likely to increase perceived ownership and product valuation.

So, if you’re struggling to pay all your bills… it would be wise to keep a “hands off” attitude when going through stores.  (How often have you been tempted in the store by those people with the samples of food?  How about at the car dealership, after you’ve sat in the vehicle?)  Keep your distance and you’ll undoubtedly spend less, and come home with less – saving your money for bills for things you bought on impulse.  Use this knowledge to your financial advantage!

On the other hand, if you’ve got something to sell – like a home – one of the best things you can do is give your prospective buyers something nice to experience.  Engage their senses… all of them, if possible!  You too can use this knowledge to your financial advantage.

I’ve had a few conversations recently with family and friends who are having a hard time sleeping.  And, truth be told, I’ve had my own share of struggles with getting to sleep.

A while back, we stayed at a Crowne Plaza hotel for a convention, and they provided a CD to help guests sleep better.  On the cover of the CD sleeve it says: SLEEP SOUNDLY.  With the Sleep Advantage(R) CD.  Inside, after skimming all their advertising about how they’ve gone the extra mile to not just give you a bed, they offer 10 Sleep Tips as developed by Michael Breus, PhD, ABSM of SoundSleep Solutions.

Funny thing, the SleepSound website has 10 slightly different Sleep Tips.

I thought I’d combine the two lists, and give you the 11 Sleep Tips.  First the 10 from their website (with additional details added from the CD in parentheses and bolded parts that emphasize things that were new to me.)  Then the extra tip that’s only listed in the CD sleeve.

1. Cut caffeine. Simply put, caffeine can keep you awake.  It can stay in your body longer than you might think — up to about 14 hours.  So if you drink a cup of coffee at noon and are still awake at midnight, that might be the reason.  (Not only coffee, but also many teas and sodas contain caffeine.)  Cutting out caffeine at least four to six hours before bedtime can help you fall asleep easier.  If you have already had too much caffeine, try eating some carbohydrates like bread or crackers to help reduce the effects.
2. Drink alcohol in moderation. Alcohol may initially help you fall asleep, but as your body clears it from your system, it can also cause symptoms that disturb sleep, like nightmares, sweats, and headache.  Drink one glass of water for every alcoholic beverage consumed to try to reduce these symptoms.
3. Relax before bedtime. Stress not only makes you miserable, it wreaks havoc on your sleep.  Develop some kind of pre-sleep ritual to break the connection between all the day’s stress and bedtime.  These rituals can be as short as 10 minutes or as long as an hour.  Some people find relief in making a list of all the stressors of the day, along with a plan to deal with them — this can act as “closure” to the day.  Combining this with a period of relaxation — perhaps by reading something light, meditating, aromatherapy (try an aromatherapy spray for your linens – such as lavender), light stretching, (listening to a relaxing CD), or taking a hot (shower or) bath — can also help you get better sleep.  And don’t look at the clock!  That “tick-tock” will just tick you off.
4. Exercise at the right time for you. Regular exercise can help you get a good night’s sleep.  The timing and intensity of exercise seems to play a key role in its effects on sleep.  If you are the type of person who gets energized or becomes more alert after exercise, it may be best not to exercise in the evening.  Regular exercise in the morning even can help relieve insomnia, according to a recent study.
5. Keep your bedroom quiet, dark, and comfortable. For many people, even the slightest noise or light can disturb sleep — like the purring of a cat or the light from your laptop or TV.  Use earplugs, window blinds or curtains (with drape clips), (an eye mask,) and an electric blanket or air conditioner — everything possible to create an ideal sleep environment.  And don’t use the overhead light if you need to get up at night; use a small night-light instead.  Ideal room temperatures for sleeping are between 68 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit.  Temperatures above 75 or below about 54 can disrupt sleep.
6. Eat right, sleep tight. Try not to go to bed hungry, but avoid heavy meals before bedtime.  (It’s about balance.)  An over-full belly can keep you up.  Some foods can help, though.  Milk contains tryptophan, which is a sleep-promoting substance.  Other foods that help promote sleep include tuna, halibut, pumpkin, artichokes, avocados, almonds, eggs, bok choy, peaches, walnuts, apricots, oats, asparagus, potatoes, buckwheat, and bananas. Also, try not to drink anything after 8 p.m.  This can keep you from getting up to use the bathroom during the night.
7. Restrict nicotine. Aside from the deadly effects you already know smoking causes, having a smoke before bed — although it may feel relaxing — actually puts a stimulant into your bloodstream.  The effects of nicotine on sleep are similar to those of caffeine. Nicotine can keep you up and awaken you at night; it can stay in your body as long as 14 hours. It should be avoided particularly near bedtime and if you wake up in the middle of the night.
8. Avoid napping. Napping can only make matters worse if you usually have problems falling asleep.  If you do nap, keep it short.  A brief 15-20-minute snooze about eight hours after you get up in the morning can actually be rejuvenating.
9. Keep pets off the bed. Does your pet sleep with you?  This, too, may cause you to awaken during the night, either from allergies or pet movements.  Fido and Fluffy might be better off on the floor than on your sheets.
10. Avoid watching TV, eating, and discussing emotional issues in bed. The bed should be used for sleep and sex only.  If not, you can end up associating the bed with distracting activities that could make it difficult for you to fall asleep.  (Note: funny thing… isn’t sex a “distracting activity”?  I mean, really… the problem with children “sleeping together” isn’t sleeping.)

And the extra tip from the CD sleeve…

Understand jet lag. Before you cross time zones, try waking up later or earlier to help your body adjust to the time difference.  And remember, it takes a few days for your body to catch up.

Which of those tips are new to you?  Are you already following all of them?  If not, try using one or two new ones.  A good night’s sleep is worth it!

“Fine!”

“Great!”

“OK.”

Common question.  Common answers…

even if they’re not thoughtful, much less true.

So often we just run on automatic, asking cruise-control questions and getting knee-jerk responses.  The person asking doesn’t really care to learn how the other is really “doin’”  And the person answering doesn’t really care to say.

But it’s still a good question.  And there’s a much better response.  Let me digress a moment…

I recently read a blog by Seth Godin in which he asks, “Do you deserve it?“  He clarifies with a series of simple questions:

Do you deserve the luck you’ve been handed? The place you were born, the education you were given, the job you’ve got? Do you deserve your tribe, your customer base, your brand?

His conclusion: No.  In fact, you’re asking the wrong question.

But I think it is the right question.

Why?  Because if answered truthfully, it can lead to gratitude on our part.

If we think we’ve somehow earned everything we have, or it’s some sort of “God-given right” – then, far from being grateful, we’ll tend to take everything for granted or worse yet, get smug about it all – adding pride to our ingratitude.  If, on the other hand, we know and acknowledge that we don’t deserve what we have, then we’ll tend to be more grateful for everything we are fortunate (or blessed) to have.

Frankly, I’m not fond of the concept of “luck” – as I believe more often than not it’s Providence and/or Providence combined with appropriate behavior and attitude on our part.  But I digress even futher…

Let me get back to the original question… what’s the best response to the question, “How ya doin’?”

The best response, I believe, is “Better than I deserve.”

I find when I respond this way it does a few things.

First, it lets people know I’m not down in the dumps.  I’m not bottoming out.  It’s a bit like telling them I’m doing “fine”, but it’s different… unexpected.

Second, it lets people know I’m not thinking “I’m all that.”  There’s a recognition of how well I’m doing, but without bragging about it.

Third, it creates a somewhat better opportunity for conversation.  Most of the time people respond with a surprised look or a chuckle.  But, more often than would happen if I just responded “Fine”, it’s started a short conversation about what that means.  People will either ask about what’s so good, or about what I’ve “done wrong” that I don’t feel deserving.  Either way, it’s led to connecting better with people.

Finally, and most importantly, if nothing else, it’s a reminder to myself that no matter how bleak things may look, I’m still blessed.  I’ve messed up in big and small ways, yet I’m not destitute, I’m not a hard-core drug addict, I’m not in prison, and I’m not dead.  (All things I’ve been told at one time or another – either by others or myself – that by all “rights” I should be.)

What I’m still working on is developing the habit of not only letting people know I’m doing “better than I deserve” but also asking them how they’re doing and how I can help them.

So, I’ll start right here, right now…

How are YOU doing?  And how can I help YOU?

Ran across this quote recently.  It’s often mistakenly attributed to Abraham Lincoln.  But in truth, it came from a pamphlet written by Rev. William J.H. Boetcker in 1916 – long after Lincoln’s time.  The link to Lincoln came even later – in 1942 – when a political organization printed a leaflet titled “Lincoln on Limitations” that included several quotes from Lincoln on the front, and this quote on the back.  People just ignored the juxtaposed attributions and presumed each quote on the leaflet was from Lincoln.

The Ten Cannots

- William J. H. Boetcker

• You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
• You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
• You cannot help little men by tearing down big men.
• You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
• You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
• You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money.
• You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
• You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.
• You cannot build character and courage by destroying men’s initiative and independence.
• And you cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they can and should do for themselves.

It seems to me, this is advice our current governmental leaders would do well to heed.

I’ve heard this song many times before.  But I wasn’t really listening.  At least, I wasn’t really listening to the lyrics.

This morning I heard the lyrics, really listened to them for the first time.   Tough introspective questions.  (From the album “Second Hand.”)  Am I (are we) about competition and survival more than love?  Am I (are we) about brutal honesty more than about compassion and forgiveness?  Am I (are we) about protection and self-preservation more than sacrifice and willing to suffer for another?

Theories are nice, and sometimes easy.  But when push comes to shove, What kind of friend could I become?  And what kind of friend am I?

What Kind of Friend

What kind of a friend could pull a knife
When it’s him or you and his kids need shoes?
What kind of friend would do you in
When the bomb goes off and the shelter’s his?
What kind of friends do friends become
When the musical chairs get down to one?
What kind of friend could I become?
What kind of friend am I?

What kind of friend would tell you lies
To spare you from the bitter truth?
What kind of friend could stoop so low
As to shield your eyes from the mirror’s gaze?
What kind of friends do friends become
When a blind eye turns on the damage done?
What kind of friend could I become?
What kind of friend am I?

What kind of friend survives the night
In a frightened sense of self-defence?
What kind of friend can take the ache
Of losing face for friendship’s sake?
What kind of friend do friends become
When the heart says “kill” and the soul says “love”?
What kind of friend could I become?
What kind of friend am I?

Written by Mark Heard © 1991 Ideola Music/ASCAP

about blogging about my weight-loss journey.  I realize I’m probably thinking too much, but thinking is what I tend to do.

These last three days have been challenging.  First, because I was gaining weight instead of losing it.  But today, because I likely lost “too much” weight for some people’s satisfaction.

Sure, this morning the scale “said” I’d lost 1.4 lbs.  (No, it doesn’t actually talk.)  But the prior two days I’d gained 0.4 lbs each day.

I was getting pretty discouraged about my negative results.  (Or should I say they were positive results, since I was gaining weight?)  So I didn’t feel like blogging about it.  Who wants to read about discouragement?  Or negative results?

Yet now that I’ve lost all that weight, and then some, I’m hesitant to say anything.  Now, not because I’m discouraged by it, but rather, because I’m afraid of what “they” will say, or what “they” will think.

See, I don’t like being accused of bragging, nor of flaunting success (as I was just a couple of weeks ago)… any more than I believe anyone else does.

And I certainly don’t want to discourage others, which I strongly suspect may happen when someone reads about my positive results today while not seeing much, if any, progress in their own weight-loss journey.

OK, let’s deal with those.

For those who find themselves discouraged by my success today… please remember, the prior two days I was seeing just the opposite.  (And it’s entirely possible probable that tomorrow I won’t see anywhere near the good news that I saw today.)

And for those who want to complain about my success…  If you feel like I’m bragging, and you can’t find any way to be encouraged or inspired by what I’m dealing with and overcoming… please stop hurting yourself.  Find some other blog to read that will encourage you and inspire you.  My goal is to be an encouragement.  To let you (and everyone else who cares to read) know that weight loss is possible even if it’s not easy nor steady; there are up days and down days in the journey toward one’s ideal weight.

So, today was another day to celebrate.  And I’m celebrating two things today:

1) I lost a whole bunch of weight (finally!)

and

2) I stayed pretty faithful to the HealthPointe program – despite two days of weight gain.  (And that faithfulness paid off!)

Only about 4-5 more pounds to go, and I’ll be at my ideal weight!  I won’t quit now!

I’m not surprised. This morning my weigh-in revealed that I didn’t just fail to lose any more weight (not necessarily all that bad a thing at the moment), but that I actually gained a tiny bit. I was up 0.2 lbs over yesterday morning.

As you may recall, yesterday I was down so much, and it was continuing a trend that had started two days before, that I was starting to get a bit concerned I was losing weight too fast.

So this slight gain is actually a bit of a relief. I hope it doesn’t continue heading up, but I also don’t want my weight to unhealthily (is that a word?) plummet either.

Today is the last day of my first two weeks on HealthPointe. Only two more weeks to go on the weight-loss phase. Then it will be on to two weeks of the metabolic adjustment (or “add more food”) phase, before deciding if I need to come back for more weight loss.

For the uninitiated, one of the things that sets HealthPointe apart from so many other programs is its plan to lose weight in such a way as to not bring your metabolism to a screeching halt.

By staying in a weight loss mode for extended periods of time, as most weight loss programs have you do, your body’s metabolism will pretty much shut down, until it gets more fuel. It’s as if it’s saying, “You’re trying to starve me to death. I better slow down and conserve energy – in the form of whatever fat I’ve got left.” Then as soon as you get off the weight loss it will pack all that fat right back on – to protect itself against the next starvation period. And your weight yo-yos.

The doctors who designed HealthPointe understood that dynamic, and inserted a two week metabolic adjustment phase after every 4 weeks of weight loss (and one last time after the last weight loss phase, regardless of how short it is) to make the HealthPointe program work for people in the long term.

This morning, as I’ve been trying to do, I got back on my scale to see what (if any) progress I’m making toward getting back to my ideal weight.

After seeing the results, I didn’t want to blog about it. In part, because I’m now a bit concerned with the results. But also because I’m concerned with what others will think, and say… both to themselves and to me.

I confess, I’m still too sensitive to others’ opinions.

A few who only know me superficially sometimes comment on how confident and strong I am (not in terms of muscles, but strength of character and relative fearlessness in dealing with others.) What they apparently don’t know is that I’m just as scared as most anyone else – of others’ disapproval. And I don’t see myself as all that strong in terms of my character either. It’s just that neither my emotional weaknesses nor my character flaws are things that I’m inclined to broadcast. I’m not a Bill Clinton who, with a straight face, can boldly declare, “Character doesn’t matter!“

Anyway, this is getting way off track…

Back to the point… when I weighed in this morning, I was down another 1.2 lbs. for a total weight loss over the last 3 days of 2.2 lbs. That, it seems to me, is too much. And it concerns me. OK, scares me, is probably a lot closer to how I really feel. Yet at the same time, I still want to celebrate a bit, because I am, after all, that much closer to my goal… even if I’m going a bit too fast right now.

Tomorrow’s another day. Hopefully I’ll continue to drop excess weight, but not too quickly.

For those who are interested and keeping track… yesterday I weighed in 0.6 lbs lighter.  This morning showed another 0.4 lbs of weight loss, for a two-day total of exactly 1 lb.  Making the total “real” weight lost since starting a week and a half ago: approximately 5 1/2 lbs.  (That doesn’t include the 2 1/2 lbs of Pizza and other junk food I ate the night before starting… as my weight was that much higher when comparing the morning before pigging out to the morning after – when I started on HealthPointe.)

I guess the “creeping” I was experiencing was to be short-lived.

I hope I don’t go back to creeping weight-loss.  However, if past history is any indication, I’ll probably be seeing that again over the next few days.  And it probably won’t hardly matter what I do to break through the set-point.

Then again, maybe I’ll blow right past it.

Maybe it will be like what happens when you blaze a trail through the wilderness.  The first time through, the going is really tough.  You have to break through all kinds of barriers.  The second time, the way is considerably easier since the serious barriers have already been broken down.  But there may be newer, smaller barriers to break through, as the path has been overgrown through neglect.

I’ll just have to wait an see.

Meanwhile, I can still celebrate this bigger victory.  Woohoo!  1 more pound gone!  (I’m not feeling lighter yet, but the scale coupled with celebration cheer me up!)

It’s been a couple of days since I last blogged.

I’ve allowed myself to get discouraged.

Two things impacted me: 1) Recieving a comment from someone moderately close questioning my celebration of a small victory… asking if I might be bragging.  And 2) Recieving a “diagnosis” from someone who’s never met me, seen any pictures of me, nor received any information from me except the little bit that I’ve written here.  And in that “diagnosis” I was “informed” that not only am I completely wrong in thinking that the weight I’ve gained over the last several months is due to unhealthy diet and exercise which led to added fat, but that I was also being petty and nit-picky as I have been describing my journey back to a healthy weight.

Now, my life doesn’t completely revolve around this weight loss.  But it is important to me.  (As I noted in my second reply to #2 above – small weight gains, for me, have a very significant – even potentially life-threatening – impact on my body.)

And when I celebrate my small victories, it’s most definitely not to gloat or brag.  As much as anything, it’s to encourage myself – and be an example to others who struggle to have even small victories to encourage them too – for whatever accomplishments have been achieved.

Maybe I’m too thin-skinned.  Maybe I’m too sensitive to criticism.  Or maybe I’m too down on myself already.

Whatever the case, I get very easily distracted and discouraged by (even seemingly minor) criticism that’s not presented in a manner that leads me to believe the other person really wants to help.

I suspect there are many others who, like me, need regular affirmation, and words of encouragement.

So, if you want to question or correct, let me propose you do it in a way that it’s more likely to be welcomed.  What way would that be?

First, (unlike #2) seek to understand the true situation before making a diagnosis.

Second, (unlike either #1 or #2) offer some genuine encouragement for something specific that’s a true positive.

Third, ask your question or offer your critique, in as gentle a manner as possible.

And finally, provide a second word of encouragement or affirmation that’s specific and real.

Do I always do this?  No.  In fact I’m not sure I do it all that often.  I’m still learning and (hopefully) growing in this area.

I was just reminded of this “Sandwich” plan in the last few days as I read “Tiger Traits.”

One thing I have been working on which will hopefully make this easier to do, is to develop the habit of seeking out specific ways to compliment, validate, and show love to everyone I come into contact with.  By actively looking for the good in people, I think I’ll wind up with far more “bread” for the “Sandwich.”  (Open-faced sandwiches are more messy than two-slices-of-bread sandwiches.  And eating the guts of a sandwich with no bread requires a whole lot of clean up afterwards.)

And if you think ill of someone’s motives, please first consider if it might be a reflection on your own struggles, challenges, and limited perspective.  (If you don’t like to read what I write, please understand, I’m not making you read it… you can always skip over it, or if necessary, block my posts from your computer.)

Lesson I’m trying to learn from this is: Look beyond others’ comments if they’re merely hurtful, see if there’s any truth to them that warrants correction and/or repentence, and if so, take the appropriate action.  Otherwise, delete or ignore, and move on.  (That’s all much easier said than done!)

How often do we (do I) take God for granted?  Or worse yet, forget Him?

Too often.

Take this past week for instance.

I’m involved in an OAG (a One Another Group – that’s a home Bible study through our church) that meets on Tuesday evenings.

I was told about another group for people who are either looking to change careers or who are currently jobless and just looking for work.  This new group will be studying the book, “Your Work Matters to God” by Sherman & Hendricks.  Given that my current career hasn’t made us any money in quite some time, this group sounded VERY interesting to me.  (Mortgage Brokers are finding it harder and harder to make a living under the current conditions, and trying to do it very long-distance significantly increases the challenge!)  So, I REALLY wanted to go.

Only there was a problem.  The meetings were to be held on Tuesdays – during the same time as our OAG meets.

I thought, “I’ve got to get creative here.”  So I shot off an email to the one starting the new group, asking if the time was already “set in stone.”

I got no response.  And as the no-response time got longer and longer, I started to realize I was just going to have to prioritize.

I figured both meetings were about working on getting God’s perspective and improving my relationship with Him.  So that couldn’t be a deciding factor.

I also figured both meetings were about fellowship with others (to some degree.)  But there was a slight difference.  With our OAG I have already started to get to know the people a little bit, having been with them for several weeks.  But this new group would be most likely all new people.  And I’m not 100% clear on which is more important – to develop recent relationships or to start brand new ones.

But there were other differences as well.

Our OAG (as you might have already guessed by my use of the word “our” in this description) is a group both my wife and I are part of.  So it’s also time to spend with my wife.

On the other hand, the new career group would be something that (at least at this time) is only of interest to me.  So it’s time away from each other.

Yet, the new career group, as it’s been described, is all about helping people with their careers – which is something that’s currently VERY important.  While I don’t have a “love of money”, I DO have a need for money to pay down debts and pay other bills as well.  (You know, pesky little things like putting food on the table, making sure the phones, heat, and water aren’t cut off.  Stuff like that.)

Well, this week so many people from our OAG were going to be either out of town or unavailable to meet, that the whole meeting was called off  for this week.

Ahh!  But this is the week that the career group was to start!  So I didn’t have to decide between the two groups… at least not for this week.  I could go without worry of the scheduling conflict.  But what about next week?  Something to worry about.

Then I got an email that said the books for the new career group would be available at our first meeting.  Oh no!  I’d kind of forgotten about the books.  How much will they cost?  Since my career isn’t really paying, we don’t have spare money to be wasting on more books.  What am I going to do?  Something else to worry about.

So, tonight came.  I went to the new career meeting.  And guess what?  All my worrying was for nothing.

The books?  Donated by an “angel investor” from the church.  (Thank you, whoever you are!!)

The conflicting schedule?  No more conflict… as we all talked, it became apparent that we didn’t have to meet at night.  So, at least for the time being, we’ll be meeting on Wednesday mornings… after a church leadership prayer meeting but before one of the guys has to leave for his part-time job he’s taken, which I imagine is almost covering some of his basic expenses until he can find another job in his real career.  (Do you know anyone on the peninsula who needs and accountant/bookkeeper?)

So there I was, worrying about all these details, when God already had it all under control.  I should have known better.  I’ve seen Him work things out when there’s no earthly way it could possibly be worked out.  By comparison, this one was extremely easy for Him.  Taking God for granted… I can hardly believe I did it again.

(Thanks to Katie for reminding me of this lesson with her blog.  I’d highly recommend you click on over there to read an even better story of God at work!)