Friday

Didn’t get to workout because I got stuck babysitting my little brother. Not only that, he wanted to order Wings and I tried to order the smaller size so I wouldn’t pick at his food but it was still a ton of food and my brother couldn’t finish it all so of course I did. Shame.

Saturday

I did actually get up at 7 am and run/walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I was very tempted to stop after 15 but I kept going and burned about 230 calories. Small number but its better than nothing.

I was able to complete some of my shopping for Miami. I literally shopped till I dropped from 10 am to 4 pm. Not going to discuss how much I spent but it was worth it! I passed out as soon as I got home and woke up around 830. Went out for the night with some friends and had a few drinks but I wasn’t drunk. I thought for sure my tolerance level was lower but I guess I was wrong. I’ll need to take note of that for Miami.

Really, Really bad eating – I had McDonalds TWICE this day. Once after I was done shopping and then again on the way back from the club. Such a shame.

Sunday

The plan was to go to Cracker Barrel for a Mother’s Day breakfast but my mom was sick so I went to the house and made a big breakfast. I thought I was in the clear of chain restaurants but because it was also my brother’s birthday so we went to The Cheesecake Factory which also happens to be my favorite restaurant

I decided since I haven’t been there in a really long time, and I don’t plan on going back for a while, that I will just not worry about calories and eat what I want but not get dessert. I tried to estimate everything I ate using DailyBurn and for the day (including breakfast) it was around 3,000 calories. #EPICfail

After all of that, the scale this morning claims I lost .4. Really though??? I’m sure tomorrow it will read the truth.

When I googled for images of these, I did find one that wasn’t so annoying.

When I googled for images of these, I did find one that wasn’t so annoying.

Now, this is just screaming for the FDA’s intervention. How does stuff like this end up on television without anyone saying ANYTHING?? For years pundits have questioned the uncanny ability of advertisement food to look way better than the actual food that we get served. Now there’s no reason you shouldn’t question the way your fast food looks. Especially if your burgers don’t have as many seeds on them as old girl glued to her buns (pause)…

Do I even have to say anything about this picture? You’ve literally turned your body into a canvas. Aside from having no sense, you’ve basically proven what we’ve all known for years: YOU CAN’T RAP. Pricele$$ (like seeing you at age 75) has sold 13,275 copies since it dropped last week, and I can’t tell you how proud I am that ‘Always Strapped’ and ‘Money to Blow’ got you that many sales. My question is, who really bought the album? Whoever did probably thinks that tattoo was a good idea too..

The good thing about Southwest Airlines is the free bag checks, the hilarious flight attendants, and the god-awful gold/brown planes.

The bad thing: flight check-ins

You know, if I don’t check in exactly 24 hours in advance, I get stuck with a middle seat, and probably in the back for that matter. It feels as if people just sit at their computer constantly putting in their confirmation number five minutes early until it finally gets accepted as truly 24 hours before the flight departure. For some reason, we all tend to think that the time we have could be as much as five minutes off from the time they have. I’ve even tried to change the time on my computer to see if that works. It’s almost a race. I wonder if I’ll ever get A1. Then it really becomes 12:45 and my internet slows down. It can’t open the southwest.com page.

AND I just got A38.  Thirty eight?! At only 2 minutes after check-in time. 37 people on my flight beat me to the punch. I’ll stare them down tomorrow, oh I’ll stare them down and glare them down. I’ll have contempt for their speed and agility.

FOOLS!

(omit Ian and Ari here- they should marry, for sure)

acrosst- the absolute worst
fermiliar
pasghetti
libary
kih—–in
maow—-in
oregawn
lifes
vesh-tuh-bulls

 It’s almost like Mad Gab trying to figure these out…Well think about how we all feel when you say something like this in real life!

OH. And I’ll keep adding.

NO! It’s so weird.

How can you be hot based on your foot position? SO DUMB!