by Rosalynn Robb

Biblical Confrontation: Learning How to Confront With the Purpose of Reconciliation and Restoration

“Speaking redemptively is all about choosing our words carefully. It is not just about the words we say, but also about the words we have chosen not to say. Speaking redemptively is about being prepared to say the right thing at the right moment and exercising self-control. Speaking redemptively is refusing to let our talk be driven by passion and personal desire but communicating instead with God’s purposes in view. It is exercising the faith needed to be part of what God is doing at that moment… It (gentle talk) comes from the person who is speaking not because of what he wants from you, but what he wants for you.” Paul Tripp

The author of Hebrews shows the direct responsibility believers have in being our brother’s keeper. “Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ, if we hold fast the beginning of our assurance firm until the end.” (Heb 3:12-14)  Below are 20 questions to ask yourself as you confront fellow believers of issues of sin. First, we are to examine our own hearts and confess and repent of the sin in our lives to God and then only afterwards go and confront our brother in love and humility with the goals of restoring them to their relationship with God and to others.

First Examine Your Own Heart Motives

1. Do you see yourself above falling into the same sin? You are not! (Jere 17:9; Matt 7:1-51; Rom 14:13, 19; Cor 4:3-5; 1 Cor 10:12; 2 Cor 10:18; Gal 6:1-3; 1 Pt 5:5; Jam 4:11; Heb 4:1-2)

2. Do you hate and mourn over your sins, and see how grotesque your  sin is to God? (Ps 51:4; Matt 5:4)

3. Is the situation or action a genuine sin? Or is a preference? Or is it an area of spiritual maturity? Watch out for legalism! (Prov 3:7; Rom. 13:14)

4. Do you have all the information? Be quick to hear and slow to speak! (Prov 18:13; Jam 1:19)

5. Do you see a vital area where they can grow in godliness? Or is it for selfish gain to show if you are right about a particular area? (1 Cor 12:25)

6. Is it an issue of humbly submitting to God-given authority though they may appear to be wrong? (Prov 12:15; Rom 13:1-3; 1 Pet 5:5; 1 Pet 5:5-14)

7. Are you not confronting out of fear of man? Far better would be for them to despise you now and to praise you later for having done all you can to keep them from jumping off of a cliff. (Luke 9:23-25; John 12:43; 1 John 4:18)

8. Have you stopped to pray and seek wisdom from God before confronting? (Prov 10:19; Jam 1:5; I John 5:16)

9. Are you mediating on the Word? Memorize Scripture to help you guard and fight against sin! (Ps. 119:10, 11; Rom 8:5-16; Colo 3:1-5).

10. Using the above questions; are you asking God to show you unrevealed areas where YOU need to repent? Preach the Gospel to yourself first!  (Ps 19:14; John 8:3-7)

The Goals of Confronting: Restoration and Reconciliation

11. Are you rebuking to expose sinful deeds in a person? (Prov 14:12; Prov 10:19; Prov 27:6; Rom 6:19-22; Rom 16:18; Luke 17:3-4;1 Thess 5:14; Gal 6:1-3; Phil 3:4-11,19)

12. Are you speak the truth in gentleness, humility and love? (Prov. 15:1; 2 Cor 5:14-15; Gal 6:1-3; Eph 4:14-32; Jam1:17, 1 Thess 2:7-14; 1 Thess 5:14; 1 Pet 1:22)

13. Is the Gospel being presented as you confront? Are you giving Christ their hope in the midst of their sin? (1 Cor. 10:13; 1 John 2:1; 1 John 1:9)

14. Are you seeking the good of others? Or is it for self-glorification or self-gratification? (If it’s a selfish motive, repent)! (Phil 2:4; Heb 3:13; Heb 4:11)

15. Are you confronting because of genuine concern, love, and for the desire to see them excel? Christ-like character must be the goal! (Prov 27:6; John 13;34-35; Rom 12:10; Thess 2:1-14; Heb 12:1-2; 1 Pet 1:15)

16. Are you willing to walk through this struggle with them and help them preserve no matter how long it takes? Progressive sanctification is a daily process! (Gal 6:2; 1 Thess 4:3, 7; Heb 2:11; Heb 10:36-39)

17. Are you praying for them that they will be restored in Christ? Without the Holy Spirit’s work in their hearts; they can do nothing! (Matt 26:41; John 15:5; 2 Corinthians 3:18 Gal 1:6–9; 2 Thess 2:13; Jam 5:16; 1 John 5:16)

18. Are you exhorting and admonishing them so they will not become disqualified in service to the Lord? A gospel saturated and eternal perspective must be at the forefront! (Heb 10:22-25; 1 Cor 9:24-27; Col 3:16; 2 Tim 2:20; Heb 3:12; 4:1-2; 6, 11; 9:27-28; 10:36-39)

19. Are you only bringing the necessarily people into the situation, for the goal of reconciliation? Guard yourself against gossiping! (Matt 18: Jas 4:11; Jam 5:9)

20. Do you see that the person’s deliberate unrepentance as a danger to other believers? Church leadership and church discipline was designed for the goal to shepherd the wayward and protect the rest of the flock. (Matt 18:15-20; 1 Cor 5:1-13; 2 Cor 6:11; Heb 12:4-14; Gal 6:1,2; 2 Thess 3:6-15; 1 Tim 1:20; 5:19-20; Titus 3:9-11)

It is not a joyous experience but it is a humbling task to be our brothers’ keeper. Yet, you and I should be reminded and thankful for people who have confronted us in love. We are blinded to our own sins! Therefore, confronting must be done with great humility (because we too need exhorters in our lives). We are not ready to confront if their sin does not genuinely grieve our hearts; because you see how it will hurt their effectiveness in ministering to others but more importantly because they will not be glorifying the God whom they were created to worship!  As a mandate from Scripture we must learn how to better carry one another’s burdens through humbly listening and graciously speaking truth into people’s lives to encourage others with the grace that is given to you and me.

*The Journal of Biblical Counseling • Volume 16 • Number 3 • Spring 1998. 10. Speaking Redemptively by Paul David Tripp.

“Your Word is completely pure, and Your
servant loves it.” Psalms 119:140

Do we love the holiness of the Word? The Word is
preached—to beat down sin, and advance holiness.
Do we love it for its spirituality and purity? Many
love the Preached Word only for its eloquence and
notion. They come to a sermon as to a performance
(Ezek. 33:31,32) or as to a garden to pick flowers;
but not to have their lusts subdued or their hearts
purified. These are like a foolish woman who paints
her face—but neglects her health!

Do we love the convictions of the Word? Do we
love the Word when it comes home to our conscience
and shoots its arrows of reproof at our sins? It is the
minister’s duty sometimes to reprove. He who can
speak smooth words in the pulpit—but does not know
how to reprove, is like a sword with a fine handle, but
without an edge! “Rebuke them sharply!” (Titus 2:15).
Dip the nail in oil—reprove in love—but strike the nail
home!

Now Christian, when the Word touches on your sin
and says, “You are the man!” do you love the reproof?
Can you bless God that “the sword of the Spirit” has
divided between you and your lusts? This is indeed a
sign of grace, and shows that you are a lover of the
Word.

A corrupt heart loves the comforts of the Word—but
not the reproofs: “You hate the one who reproves…
and despise him who tells the truth!” (Amos 5:10).
“Their eyes flash with fire!” Like venomous creatures
that at the least touch, spit poison! “When they heard
these things, they were enraged in their hearts and
gnashed their teeth at him!” (Acts 7:54). When
Stephen touched their sins, they were furious and
could not endure it.

How shall we know that we love the reproofs of the Word?

When we desire to sit under a heart-searching ministry.
Who cares for medicines that will not work? A godly man
does not choose to sit under a ministry that will not work
upon his conscience.

When we pray that the Word may meet with our sins. If
there is any traitorous lust in our heart—we would have
it found out, and executed. We do not want sin covered;
but cured! We can open our heart to the sword of the
Word and say, “Lord, smite this sin!”

When we are thankful for a reproof. “Let a righteous
man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it
is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it.” (Psalm
141:5). David was glad for a reproof.

Suppose a man were in the mouth of a lion, and another
should shoot the lion and save the man; would he not be
thankful? So, when we are in the mouth of sin, as of a
lion, and the minister by a reproof shoots this sin to
death—shall we not be thankful?

A gracious soul rejoices, when the sharp lance of the Word
has pierced his abscess of sin! He wears a reproof like a jewel
on his ear: “Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold
is a wise man’s rebuke to a listening ear.” (Proverbs 25:12).

To conclude, it is convincing preaching which must do the
soul good. A nipping reproof prepares for comfort—as a
nipping frost prepares for the sweet flowers of spring.

~ Thomas Watson, “The Godly Man’s Picture  Drawn with a Scripture Pencil

When I expound the Holy Scripture, I must always make this my rule: That those who hear me may receive profit from the teaching I put forward and be edified unto salvation. If I have not that affectation, if I do not procure the edification of those who hear me, I am a sacrilege, profaning God’s Word.
For God will have his people edified… when we come together in the Name of God, it is not to hear merry songs and to be fed with wind, that is vain and unprofitable curiosity, but to receive spiritual nourishment.  — John Calvin

We need preaching to be Practical and Applicatory. But Preaching should not drive people to just do practical things, or to do these duties or use methods because you will get better results, like the world and psychology teaches.

We do well to share these as legitimate means of grace, but drive them to see that this is all ineffective unless God chooses to work through it. God gives the results.

We do these duties, not just because we will get better results, but we do it out of obedience in love and thankfulness regardless if the results are better or not.

We may do all the good works, be obedient in our duties and use the means of grace yet God may not favor us temporally.

Then we persevere in the duties with thankfulness and rejoicing in the circumstances and results anyway, favorable or not to us. We trust in Him, knowing ultimately the only rewards that count are the not the ones we get here on earth that cease, but the eternal ones.

Therefore seeing your inability to get any results, Go to the Father asking Him to work through you, in faith, with no doubting, to get what you want that He may be glorified. Perform and Repeat.

Matt 6:19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal;  20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. NKJV

Luke 6:26  Woe to you when all men speak well of you,

For so did their fathers to the false prophets. NKJV

The devil’s old delusion!

J. C. Ryle, “The Gospel of Luke” 1858

John said to the crowds coming out to be baptized by him, “You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire!”  Luke 3

We have, in these verses, a specimen of John the Baptist’s ministry. It is a portion of Scripture which should always be specially interesting to a Christian mind.

We should first mark the holy boldness with which John addresses the multitudes who came to his baptism. He speaks to them as a “brood of vipers!”

He saw the rottenness and hypocrisy of the profession that the crowd around him were making, and uses language descriptive of their case.

His head was not turned by popularity. He did not care who was offended by his words.

The spiritual disease of those before him was desperate, and of long standing, and he knew that desperate diseases need strong remedies.

Well would it be for the Church of Christ, if it possessed more plain speaking ministers, like John the Baptist, in these latter days.

A morbid dislike to strong language; an excessive fear of giving offence; a constant flinching from directness and plain speaking, are, unhappily, too much the characteristics of the modern Christian pulpit.

Uncharitable language is no doubt always to be deprecated. But there is no charity in flattering unconverted people, by abstaining from any mention of their vices, or in applying smooth epithets to damnable sins!

There are two texts which are too much forgotten by Christian preachers. In one it is written, “Woe unto you when all men shall speak well of you.”

In the other it is written, “Obviously, I’m not trying to be a people pleaser! No, I am trying to please God. If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.” (Luke 6:26; Gal. 1:10)

We should mark, also, how plainly John speaks to his hearers about HELL and danger!

He tells them that there is a “wrath to come.”

He speaks of “the ax” of God’s judgments, and of unfruitful trees being “thrown into the fire!”

The subject of HELL is always offensive to human nature. The minister who dwells much upon it, must expect to find himself regarded as . . . barbaric, violent, unfeeling, and narrow minded.

Men love to hear “smooth things,” and to be told of peace, and not of danger. (Isaiah. 30:10)

But the subject of hell is one that ought not to be kept back, if we desire to do good to souls.

It is one that our Lord Jesus Christ brought forward frequently in His public teachings. That loving Savior, who spoke so graciously of the way to heaven, has also used the plainest language about the way to hell.

Let us beware of being wise above that which is written, and more charitable than Scripture itself.

Let the language of John the Baptist be deeply engraved in our hearts. Let us never be ashamed to avow our firm belief, that there is a “wrath to come” for the impenitent, and that it is possible for a man to be lost, as well as to be saved.

To be silent on the subject is dreadful treachery to men’s souls. It only encourages them to persevere in wickedness, and fosters in their minds the devil’s old delusion, “You shall not surely die!”

That minister is surely our best friend who tells us honestly of danger, and warns us, like John the Baptist, to “flee from the wrath to come.”

Never will a man flee until he sees there is real cause to be afraid. Never will he seek heaven until be is convinced that there is risk of his falling into hell.

The religion in which there is no mention of hell, is not the religion of John the Baptist, and of our Lord Jesus, and His apostles.

Half the diseases of Christianity
J. C. Ryle, “The Gospel of Matthew” 1856

“These are the names of the twelve apostles . . .
and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Him.” Mt. 10:2-4

We are taught here, that all ministers are not necessarily saved men. We see our Lord choosing a Judas Iscariot to be one of His apostles. We cannot doubt that He who knew all hearts, knew well the characters of the men whom He chose. And He includes in the list of apostles one who was a traitor!

We shall do well to bear in mind this fact.
Ordination does not confer the saving grace of the Holy Spirit. Ordained men are not necessarily converted. We are not to regard them as infallible, either in doctrine or in practice.

We are not to make popes or idols of them, and insensibly put them in Christ’s place. We are to regard them as “men of like passions” with ourselves, liable to the same infirmities, and daily requiring the same grace.

We are not to think it impossible for them to do very bad things, or to expect them to
be above the reach of harm from flattery, covetousness, and the world.

We are to prove their teaching by the word of God, and follow them so far as they follow
Christ, but no further.

Above all, we ought to pray for them, that they may be successors not of Judas Iscariot; but of James and John. It is an dreadful thing to be a minister of the Gospel!

Ministers need many prayers.
It is plain that the life of a faithful minister of Christ cannot be one of ease. He must be ready to spend body and mind, time and strength, in the work of His calling. Laziness and frivolity are bad enough in any profession, but worst of all in that of a watchman for souls.

It is plain, for another thing, that the position of the ministers of Christ is not that which
ignorant people sometimes ascribe to them, and which they unhappily sometimes claim for themselves. They are not so much ordained to rule as to serve. They are not intended so much to have dominion over the Church, as to supply its needs, and serve its members.
Happy would it be for the cause of true religion, if these things were better understood! Half the diseases of Christianity have arisen from mistaken notions about the pastor’s office!

Money can hire workers. Universities can give learning. Congregations may elect.
Bishops may ordain.  But the Holy Spirit alone can make ministers of the Gospel.

Letters to Young Ministers — The Cultivation of Personal Piety

by James Alexander (1804—1859)

In every Church there are some aged and experienced Christians. These are specially regarded by the Master, and require to be fed with the finest of the wheat. The ministry is appointed with much reference to such; and they know when their portion is withheld. They may be poor and unlettered, and incompetent to judge of gesture, diction, or even grammar; but they know the difference between the ‘language of Canaan,’ and the ’speech of Ashdod.’ I hold them to be the best judges of the ministry. How little does the starched and elegant—but shallow young divine suspect, that in yonder dark, back pew, or in the outskirts of the gallery, there sits an ancient widow, who was in Christ before he was born, and who reads him through and through. Mr. Summerfield once related to me, that Dr. Doddridge, when other more learned helps failed, used to consult a poor old woman, living near him, upon hard passages in his Commentary, and that he generally acquiesced in her conclusions. There is no teacher like the Paraclete; and the promise is, ‘All your children shall be taught of the Lord.’ To be able to feed such sheep of Christ, if for no other reason, the young minister should seek to attain high degrees of piety.

The truth is, such are the discouragements of genuine cross-bearing ministry, and so repugnant to the flesh are many of its duties, that nothing but true piety will hold a man up under the burden; he will sooner or later throw it off; and begin to seek his ease, or preach for ‘itching ears.’ It is an easy thing to go through a routine, to ‘do duty,’ as the phrase of the Anglican establishment is; but it is hard to the flesh, to denounce error in high places, to preach unpopular doctrine, to labor week after week in assemblies of a dozen or twenty, to spend weary hours among the diseased and dying, and to watch over the discipline of Christ’s house. Nothing but an inward enjoyment of divine truth, and a reference to the final award, will stimulate a man to constancy in such labors.

The apostle Paul expresses his view of this, in terms of which the force cannot be fully brought out by any translation: ‘But I keep under my body’—I strike under the eye, so as to make it black and blue, a boxing phrase, indicative of strenuous efforts at mortification; as who should say, ‘I subdue the flesh by violent and reiterated blows, and bring it into subjection,’ ‘I lead it along as a slave;’ having subjugated it by assault and beating, I treat it as a slave, as boxers in the Palaestra used to drag off their conquered opponents. And the reason for this mortification of the flesh is, ‘lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.’

Dreadful words! but needed, to deter us from more dreadful destruction. The hell of apostate ministers must be doubly severe! It is the ‘deceitfulness of sin’ which hardens so many of us into carelessness about so great a danger. Pride goes before destruction, until suddenly, like Saul, the careless minister finds himself inveigled into some great sin. This may never be known to the world, yet it may lead to his ruin. ‘I am persuaded,’ says Owen, ‘there are very few that apostatize from a profession of any continuance, such as our days abound with—but their door of entrance into the folly of backsliding was either some great and notorious sin, that bloodied their consciences, tainted their affections, and intercepted all delight of having anything more to do with God; or else it was a course of neglect in private duties, arising from a weariness of contending against that powerful aversion which they found in themselves unto them. And this also, through the craft of Satan, has been improved into many foolish and sensual opinions of living unto God without and above any duties of communion. And we find that after men have, for a while, choked and blinded their consciences with this pretense, cursed wickedness or sensuality has been the end of their folly.’

Of all people on earth, ministers most need the constant impressions derived from closet piety. If once they listen to the flattering voice of their admirers, and think they are actually holy because others treat them as such; if they dream of going to heaven ex officio; if, weary of public exercises, they neglect those which are private; or if they acquire the destructive habit of preaching and praying about Christ without any faith or emotion; then their course is likely to be downward. Far short, however, a minister of Christ may be of so dreadful doom, and yet be almost useless. To prevent such declension, the best advice I know of, is to he much in secret devotion; including in this term the reflective reading of Scripture, meditation, self-examination, prayer and praise. And here you must not expect from me any recipe for the conduct of such exercises, or rules for the times, length, posture, place, and so forth; for I rejoice in it as the glory of the Church to which we both belong, that it is so little rubrical. How often you shall fast or sing or pray, must be left to be settled between God and your conscience; only fix in mind and heart the necessity of much devotion.

It is good sometimes to recall the examples of eminent preachers. John Welsh, the famous son-in-law of Knox, was, during his exile, minister of a village in France. A friar once lodged under his roof, and on being asked how he had been entertained by the Huguenot preacher, replied, ‘Badly—for I always held there were devils haunting these minister’s houses, and I am persuaded there was one with me this night; for I heard a continual whisper all the night over, which I believe was no other than the minister and the devil conversing together.’ The truth was, it was the Huguenot preacher at prayer. Welsh used to say, ‘he wondered how a Christian could lie in bed all night, and not rise to pray; and many times he prayed, and many times he watched.’ Such cases are not altogether lacking in our own days. Mr. Simeon, of Cambridge, in more than one instance is known to have spent the whole night in prayer. Let me seriously commend to your notice a paper contained in his life by Mr. Carus, entitled, ‘Circumstances of my Inward Experience.’ Almost every word of it is golden, and among other passages you will note the following:

‘I have never thought that the circumstance of God’s having forgiven me, was any reason why I should forgive myself; on the contrary, I have always judged it better to loathe myself the more, in proportion as I was assured that God was pacified towards me.

2 Peter 3:14 Therefore, beloved, looking forward to these things, be diligent to be found by Him in peace, without spot and blameless; 15 and consider that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation — as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given to him, has written to you, 16 as also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which untaught and unstable people twist to their own destruction, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures.

17 You therefore, beloved, since you know this beforehand, beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked; 18 but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. NKJV

“Do not be afraid, Giselle. I am your shield, your very great reward’” (Deuteronomy 20:3-4).

On Thursday evening someone smashed my car window, grabbed my bag and ran. All I could think of was to get out of there. With such fear I rode away in a panic, had to ask my Dad to call me back (was speaking to him while this happened).

As I drove home from the police station, following my husband in his car, I was shaking with fear. I called a friend, she calmed me down and told me to allow the devil to get to me.

2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV) For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

This verse is bringing me such power and knowing that my God is my shield. I keep praying and when the fear comes over me, I rebuke it. God has not placed this fear in me but the devil. Over the last few months he is been attacking me in all areas in my life.

I will NOT let him bring me down!

I will stand up and shout HE is my shield even though I go through darkness I will not fear because HE is with me!

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine (teaching), for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.”  2 Timothy 3:16-17 

I have had the disappointing privilege of meeting numerous people claiming to be Christians/ believers of God/ followers of Christ, who do not take the Bible as complete literal truth.  They say that some parts are not to be taken literally, but then I read Scriptures like the opening passage and grow sad for them.  My first thought is to ask them, well, what do you think about yourself in relation to God?  This is important and detrimental to understanding if one is of Christ or not.  Either you BELIEVE IT ALL OR NOT AT ALL.  This is to preachers as much as the congregations of your churches.

So here’s the question.  Do you believe the Bible literally or not?  Better yet, do you even have a true understanding of God’s Word to be able to make a valid case for why you do not read the Bible in its full context to be taking literally?  Jesus validated the Old Testament Scriptures quoting them numerous times as He taught those who were listening.  Before you decide to take issue with me on this, understand that this is not my original thought or question.  You would have to take your resistant heart up with Christ.  Read below and decide for yourself. 

“If god were your Father, you would love me, because I came from God and I am here.  For I didn’t come on My own, but He sent Me.  Why don’t you understand what I say?  Because you cannot listen to My word.  You are of your father the Devil, and you want to carry our your father’s desires.  He was a murderer from the beginning and has not stood in the truth, because there is no truth in Him.  When he tells a lie, he speaks from his own nature, because he is a liar and the father of liars.  Yet because I tell you the truth, you do not believe Me.  Who among you can convict Me sin?  If I tell the truth, why don’t you believe Me?  The one who is from God listens to God’s words.  This is why you don’t listen, because you are not from God.”  ~ Jesus (John 8:42-47)

OSL has definitely been a time of stretching for me; people are constantly encouraging growth here and offering up their advice. This is good, but I think its been a theme here that sometimes good advice falls to the wayside for the simple fact that people must earn the right to speak into someone else’s life.

There is certainly intrinsic value in “sucking it up and taking advice,” in humbling yourself and accepting someone’s rebuke, re-evaluating yourself, and making necessary changes. However, not everyone is at a place where this is possible. Sometimes we are insecure, and when someone we aren’t familiar with comes to us aggressively with a complaint or suggestion about ways we can “fix” our character, it becomes difficult for us to look past our own pride and see that they are correct. While its true that we must deal with the pride issue, there is also a responsibility for the other person to deal with their motives and their approach when trying to encourage others to grow.

The point of “rebuking” someone, or suggesting change, must always be exactly that: change for the other person so they become more like Jesus’ character. I think that sometimes, when we come at people with a certain tone and without truly considering them or how they will best accept our advice, we rebuke from a place of our own pride and insecurity. I’ve noticed myself doing it so, so many times without really even realizing it. No, I think that a genuine heart for others will seek to effect change in the easiest way possible; in other words, the person who really is concerned for the other will approach them in whatever way is necessary to actually make a difference in them. They will seek to avoid any tone, word choice, and anything else that might hinder the person from receiving the advice.

3.  The Violence Bearer

To recap, there is no virtue in me that changed the meaning of violence in my life.  But there is Jesus, who was subjected (in humble reliance on his Father’s goodness and loving-kindness) to the collective brutality of every sin.  On the cross He absorbed every violence that ever was, and ever would be.  By doing this he enabled the forgiveness of every sin (past, present, and future) for everyone who would call on him for forgiveness.

After all, every violation of God’s good law is ultimately against God and his son Jesus (and the Holy Spirit).  The historical figure of King David makes this very clear in his response to the prophet Nathan’s rebuke of him for killing Uriah and taking Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba.  (Continue…)

You’ve been around the block a few times and you think you’ve got it all figured out??? You’ve done good for sOOoo long people have compared you to Mother Teresa but you feel dissatisfied???? Jimmie D looks  to soften the heart and get through the “hard”head with this direct and to the point show…Would you expect anything less….listen by clicking here…Hardened Heart or Hardened Head

Kiffin gets second rebuke from SEC after questioning officials – NCAA Football – CBSSports.com.

I don’t often side with Coach Kiffen, but he is right on this one.

Our conference needs to quit protecting Florida and Alabama.  If they win out, great, but quick cutting them breaks at every turn.  It is starting to get ridiculous!

Come on commissioner, heal thyself!

I know, it has been a long time since I’ve posted.  However, I have a pretty good reason for this.  I’ve been hearing a lot, both from my friends and from things that I’ve been reading and listening to, about examining how I use my time.  I decided to do so, and I noticed that I wasted a LOT of time on the internet.  If one compared “amount of time I spend on the internet” to “amount of time I spend in prayer/reading the Bible”, one would think that I worshiped Facebook, and not God.  Yes, it was that bad.  I love the internet. I want to make a career out of it!  But it was getting in the way of my spiritual development.   So I decided to step back and only update this blog occasionally.

This brings me to another point – the purpose of this blog.  Mostly, I’m using it as personal exercise.  I want to strengthen my writing skills in a way that is glorifying to God.  I’m honestly not intending to use it as a teaching tool, or anything like that – so please don’t look at it like that!  Everything on here is simply “in my humble opinion”.  I think, at most, I want to spark discussion and thought.  And finally, I want to make this clear – only read this blog when you have time.  If you happen to see that I’ve updated it, via RSS feed, Facebook, or whatever, ask yourself “what else could I be doing right now? A devotional? Prayer time?  Discipling/being discipled? Fellowship?  Helping out my family and friends?  Reading the Bible? School or house work?”  If you can honestly answer that all of those have been completed, then read my blog.  On a scale of importance between pi and 1,256,889, my blog ranks somewhere in the 1,256,800 range – right in between watching grass grow and debating the theological merit of the the latest episode of “The Hills”.  Yup.

Finally, I have a question to ask everyone.  Recently, I overhead a group of people I know to be proclaimed Christians speaking very critically and nastily of another Christian brother of theirs.  I don’t know whether the criticism was deserved or not, but it certainly wasn’t the right way to handle it.  I wanted to call them out on it and correct them (I realize its a duty outlined in the Bible), but I didn’t.  I didn’t feel comfortable doing so – It was 5 against 1, and I didn’t know them very well.  Plus, I was just overhearing it, I wasn’t directly involved in the conversation.  What would you have done in my situation?  What should I have done?  How have you dealt with calling out people in past?

I’ve been reading a book called Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders.  It is filled with principles and insights about Christianity and spiritual leadership.  I just came across something that I wanted to share:

•       Samuel Brengle, noted for his sense of holiness, felt the heat of caustic criticism. Instead of rushing to defend himself, he replied: “From my heart I thank you for your rebuke. I think I deserved it. Will you, my friend, remember me in prayer?” When another critic attacked his spiritual life, Brengle replied: “I thank you for your criticism of my life. It set me to self-examination and heart-searching and prayer, which always leads me into a deeper sense of my utter dependence on Jesus for holiness of heart, and into sweet fellowship with Him.”
•       With such a response, criticism is turned from a curse into a blessing, from a liability into an asset.

When I read this, I let out an audible “hm” at the required humility of such a response.  Nowadays, a response such as this would be viewed as sarcastic, simply by the nature of today’s society and prevalent attitudes that we are used to encountering.  Were I humble enough for this response to naturally protrude from my lips, I would ironically be a much greater man.  To truly feel grateful at a critique rather than to feel bitter towards the critiquer is an attitude that only God can imbue.  My prayer is that I would be so humble.

Proverbs 29:1 He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck,
will suddenly be broken beyond healing.

Steve Miller writes at the “Little Red Blog of Wisdom”

I am one who is often reproved, and am tempted then to simply give up on trying to do right.  But this proverb says that if I stiffen my neck against the reproof I will be broken beyond healing.  It doesn’t say that I shouldn’t be often reproved, but instead says that when I am often reproved, I shouldn’t reject it.

The one who is often reproved is also often broken, but only those who reject discipline will become broken beyond healing.  Healing comes through frequent rebuke.

Proverbs 9:7-12

Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; rebuke a wise man, and he will love you. Proverbs 9:8

If your attitude toward being corrected is “Nobody’s going to tell me I’m sinning,” you probably fit the description of the “scoffer” in Proverbs 9:8. Anyone who tries to correct you will risk being hated by you. On the other hand, if you accept the correction of someone who rebukes you, you are “wise,” according to Proverbs 9:8, and you will love that person.

By nature, we don’t like to be told we have done wrong. I have had to resist feelings of anger and wounded pride on more than one occasion when someone pointed out to me that I was in the wrong. (You may have had a similiar experience.) But later I was glad I held those reactions in check and listened because what was said actually helped me.

Proverbs 9:12 says, “If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, and if you scoff, you will bear it alone.” During the years I was a pastor, I saw many confirmations of that truth as I lovingly and truthfully confronted people with their sin (Galatians 6:1). The wise who received correction reaped personal blessing. But those who scoffed tended to harvest personal pain and grief.

Lord, I want to be a wise person. Give me a correctable mind. —hvl

He is a friend who tells the truth yet tempers it with love; and he who takes the truth to heart gains wisdom from above. —djd

One proof of your love is how you handle reproof.

Pete Stark was recently caught on tape being incredibly rude and condescending towards his constituents at a health care town hall held this weekend in California.  His reply to a constituent calling BS on the health care bill and treating Americans as ‘idiots’ was just the icing on the cake for the childish behavior being displayed by Democrats in the past couple of months: 

Pete Stark is notorious when it comes to being blunt and uncouth.  The double standards shown by the Liberals over the last few months, is what has my panties in a twist.  I would like for just one Democrat or one Liberal to admit that there are double standards and that much of their whining about protests, senators calling the president a liar, and fear mongering, is and has been done by those on the political side of the spectrum who now control the legislative and executive branches.  It would seem to Liberals that calling somebody out for lying is worse than actually lying under oath and committing the actual act, i.e. Bill Clinton.  In a recent post I used two examples from State of the Union addresses where Bush was Boo’ed and interrupted with raucous applause regarding social security obstructionism.  However, if we are to get specific on the House rules, these technically do not constitute a rebuke or violate those rules.  Knowing the sheer hate launched at president Bush over the last 8 years there had to be at least one Democrat who called him a liar on the House Floor and in fact there was – Pete Stark: 

Heaven forbid there is any type of consistency across both sides of the aisle.  Nope, the childish Democrats currently holding seats in Congress are acting like kindergartners and wasting taxpayer money to pass a resolution to rebuke Joe Wilson.  It should be noted that 7 Republicans voted against their Congressman and 12 Democrats actually voted with Joe Wilson.  Kudos to those Democrats who believed this was a waste of time and energy and to the 7, watch out in 2010!  Here’s the list: 

7 Republicans

Joseph Cao (La.)

Jo Ann Emerson (Mo.)

Jeff  Flake (Az.)

Bob Inglis (S.C.)

Walter Jones (N.C.)

Thomas Petri (Wisc.)

Dana Rohrabacher (Ca.) 

12 Democrats

Michael Arcuri (N.Y.)

William Delahunt (Mass.)

Gabrielle Giffords (Az.)

Maurice Hinchey (N.Y.)

Paul Hodes (N.H.)

Dennis Kucinich (Ohio)

Daniel Maffei (N.Y.)

Eric Massa (N.Y.)

Jim McDermott (Wash.)

Gwen Moore (Wisc.)

Gene Taylor (Miss.)

Harry Teague (N.M.) 

This entire debacle regarding Wilson is dishonest to the core and is merely being done to distract the American public from the health care debate.  Wake up and stop being so partisan – start calling a spade a spade, and admit to the hypocrisy: That’s all I ask!

Support Joe Wilson here.

Did They Rebuke Harry Reid?

Unemployment is rising. The economy is in the tank. Families are losing their homes. ACORN an arm of the elitist progressive liberal Democratic Party is in another scandal of corruption. The elitist progressive liberal Democrats though have time to rebuke Representative Joe Wilson (R-SC) for telling the truth when he said ‘you lie.’more…

Today, the House of Representatives officially rebuked Republican Joe Wilson for shouting “You lie!” in the middle of President Obama’s health care address to a joint session of Congress. Here is how the rebuke should have been handled.

Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC) is rebuked by the US House of Representatives for his outburst during President Obama’s speech on healthcare reform.  To recap, as the President stated that there was no stipulation in the healthcare bill that allowed free care to illegal aliens, Wilson shouted, “You lie!” above the groans of disapproval.  Now, the House claims that Wilson broke the basic rules of decorum.  Top Republicans are calling the move to rebuke Wilson a witch hunt.  I agree on the grounds that freedom of speech should extend even to Capitol Hill, even when the President is speaking.  All Joe Wilson did was express his opinion of Obama’s words.  It is not a problem for people to publicly congratulate or praise the President, but when they are critical of him, they are silenced.  This rescinds a basic right of humanity.  Not okay.  First of all, lest we forget, Barack Obama works for Joe Wilson the same as he works for you and me.  Or, that’s how it’s supposed to work.  Secondly, the President was speaking in the House.  That is the domain of the US Representatives.  President Obama was their guest.

The British are laughing at us, by the way, because Wilson’s behavior is typical of any session of Parliament.

What is far more disturbing than the silencing of free speech is the claim by many Democrats, including former President Jimmy Carter, that Wilson’s behavior was influenced by racism.  Is this what we’ve come to?  Are we still so backward as a nation that any dissenting opinion must immediately be cause by racism, sexism, elitism, etc.?  Honestly, the more people play the racist card, the more I wonder who the real racists are.  To be fair, President Obama has not made this claim.  Indeed, he graciously accepted Wilson’s apology for the outburst.  But this does not change the fact that his constituents are dragging his name through the mud as they continue their crusade to stamp out any opposition to the new administration.  I think even Joe McCarthy would be wary of the type of profiling that is happening.

For the record, I am not a racist.  The fact that Barack Obama is HALF black does not in any way affect my opinion about him.  The fact that he is a pro-choice socialist does far more to vilify his image in my eyes.  On the other hand, I agree that the office of President deserves a certain degree of respect.  What Joe Wilson did may have been silly, but to rebuke him now would only set a precedent of intolerance from the administration, and will do more to damage race relations than to simply let it go.

“Hey, don’t yell at my President!  He’s black!”

As reported by the N.Y. Times:

In a mainly party line vote of 240 to 179, the House held that by shouting “You lie” during the president’s speech Mr. Wilson, a South Carolina Republican, committed a “breach of decorum and degraded the proceedings of the joint session, to the discredit of the House.”

Yet they can’t get their shit together to hammer out proper healthcare reform.

The 111th Congress has proven it can’t distinguish priorities from wastes of time. The Democratically-controlled House is spinning in circles, completely outraged that anyone would object to the Messiah’s message. Wilson’s apology to the White House was not enough for them; they voted 240-179 to admonish him. Meanwhile, after both the President and Wilson have made their peace and the nation tackles the gargantuan issue of healthcare reform, Democrats are quietly ignoring the corrupt Association of Community Organization for Reform Now (ACORN) and instead honing their ethically-challenged sights on Wilson.

This past week, two conservative activists went undercover in two different ACORN offices on the East Coast. One of them was disguised as a pimp and the other a prostitute. The “pimp” had an undercover camera and caught the whole shocking conversation on tape as ACORN staff tried to help them establish a brothel with foreign, underage girls as the main source of clientele (this is the same organization that doctored up hundreds of thousands of fake voter registrations during the 2008 campaign). Not surprisingly, the Mainstream Media has virtually ignored the ACORN scandal, instead focusing on topics that are vital to the nation’s survival, such as Kanye West’s ignorant outburst at the VMA’s and Kate Gosselin’s change in hairstyles.  

On Capitol Hill, only a couple Democrats have joined the Republicans in initiating a congressional investigation into ACORN’s activities. Had it not been for Hannah Giles (the undercover prostitute), her friend (undercover pimp) and Fox News, the House would most likely not be voting to cut all federal funding to ACORN. The Party of the Common Man…. I  think not.

But liberal Democrats have Rep. Wilson in a chokehold and they’re not going to let him or the issue go. Since the majority of ACORN’s support comes from leftists, the disgusting amount of corruption is nothing in their eyes. The only think intrinsically evil is a conservative objecting to a proven lie*. One representative called Joe Wilson’s actions ”a public offense.” Democrat Hank Johnson of Georgia outrageously claimed, “I guess we’ll probably have folks putting on white hoods again.”

Johnson was not the only liberal to see Wilson’s yell as some how racist. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, along with the Congressional Black Caucus, rebuked Wilson’s remarks as being disrespectful to the nation’s first Black President (this is coming from the crowd that sees virtually all criticism of President Obama as racially motivated). Pretty soon we’ll see Black activists breaking out into what I call “Al Sharpton Syndrome” (ASS) and calling for panels to investigate other possible, perceived racism just as they have done in Cambridge, Massachusetts as a response to the Gates/Cop fiasco. 

On the scale of importance, our leaders see a conservative Republican as more threatening than an organization that is deep in voter fraud and other “illegal activities.” Say anything, ANYTHING against President Obama and be prepared to be equated with clansmen. Truth, facts and statistics don’t matter to the American Left. All that matters are special interests.

Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC) & President Obama, VP Joe Biden, and Speaker Pelosi

Joe Wilson during the now infamous "You lie!" comment, photo courtesy of Politico

Former Congressman Charlie Wilson’s life may have hit the big screens a few years ago with his biographical movie Charlie Wilson’s War, but now another Wilson by the name of Joe (no relation) is in a war of his own, which is surely just as entertaining.

Right now, the debate on the House floor is over H. Res 744, otherwise known as the Joe Wilson rebuke. This would be a measure to officially denounce Representative Wilson for his uncalled for “You lie!” comment made towards President Obama during last week’s address to a joint session of Congress.

This is stupid, and both Democrats and Republicans are getting on my nerves.

First, let’s talk about my fellow Democrats. If they wanted to really make an impression, this resolution would have been introduced and voted on the very day after the incident. Instead, it’s been nearly a week and at this point, they’re just beating a dead horse. At this point, it’s so late in the game that it’s just not effective and looks like a bitter partisan punch. I uinderstand, however, that it’s not as partisan as it seems. The Democrats are just upholding the dignity of the House. Wilson broke House ethics rules, and in order for these rules, along with the actual House itself, to be legitimized, the incident must be offically addressed by the House. We know the Republicans won’t address it, so it’s the Democrats’ job to do so, which the GOP is relabeling as partisan bickering.

Second, let’s talk about the Republicans. As I’m watching this frivolous debate on C-SPAN right now, I can’t help notice the blatant hypocrisy of the Republicans. They’re on the floor right now claiming how this is a huge waste of time, when in the background, there’s dozens of GOP members of Congress in line to give the same exact speech, dozens of times! I get it, guys! I know you think Joe Wilson is a good guy! I know you think this debate doesn’t benefit the American people! I know you think you could be using your time better! So my question is, why aren’t you? If you don’t want this debate on the House floor right now, why didn’t you just let Boehner give his spiel, then get the hell out of the chamber to make the debate end as fast as possible, and vote on it?

But I’m not done with you, Republicans. You guys are opposing the resolution because of the most pointless reasons ever. I just watched Minority Whip Eric Cantor talk about how this bill doesn’t address H.R. 3200, how this bill doesn’t add jobs, and how this bill doesn’t increase national security. Do people know how many bills are debated in the House everyday that don’t address substantial topics and instead are just honorary pieces of inconsequential legislation with no impact on American life whatsoever? I sure don’t see the GOP cronies lined up to denounce those.

If they’re against this resolution because they have more important things to be working on, then they have no reason to vote against this resolution to denounce Wilson. Every single one of them knows what he did was wrong, and they all have to vote on the resolution anyway, so why not vote “yes”? Voting “no” on the resolution won’t bring back the last hour you just wasted on the floor, but voting “yes” would at least uphold the dignity of your chamber.

This is so disgusting.

I am writing today from the beautiful Tampa Bay area.

Friday’s section of this week’s SS Lesson asks the question, “What do you do with the question of “calling sin by its right name”? How can we deal with wayward members without being judgmental or condemnatory? At the same time, are we not shirking our Christian duty if we don’t confront brothers or sisters in the church who are doing wrong? How do we deal with this difficult subject?”

 The word of God says, “Cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice like a trumpet, and show my people their transgression, and the house of Jacob their sins.” Isaiah 58:1 However please notice He says show my people their transgression and the house of Jacob their sins. God is not telling us to rebuke those who don’t know better, but those who are in the church, who have a knowledge of the truth. For example, in Exodus 25 and 1 Chronicles 15 we see that only the priests were to carry the ark and that it was to be carried on the poles. When the philistines raided the temple they took the ark back to their own temple. One of the funniest things I have read in the Bible is when their god Dagon kept falling over in front of the ark. Well the philistines decide they don’t want the ark and that they should send it back. How did they do it? Not at all like God had instructed. They handled it and put it on a cart drawn by oxen and sent it back. None of the philistines received any harm even though they did not follow God’s plan in moving the ark. They did not know any better. Years later though David is moving the ark and instead of moving it the way God had said he put in on a cart of oxen like the philistines had done. Uzza touches the ark and is struck dead. Why? Uzza knew better! David gets mad at God when he really should have been mad at himself, because if David had moved the ark the way God had said no harm would have come to Uzza, but no, David did not want to pattern himself after God on this but after the world instead. So God does not reprove those who don’t know better but he does require obedience from those who do. See 1 Chronicles 13

 It is not our mission to tell the world all that they are doing wrong. It is our mission to tell them about a God who loves them. As they form a relationship with Jesus we can teach them here and there as it becomes appropriate more and more about God’s love and His truth. (Isaiah 28:10, Matthew 28:19-20)

 A wise pastor told me a long time ago we are to be conservative towards ourselves and liberal towards others. We can show our wayward brother his error by just living a Christian life! Also I have found that when you pray God will open doors and actually have these “wayward” people ask you what is right and wrong. Wait for God to create opportunities instead of making them ourselves. Jesus says in John 5:17, “My Father worketh hitherto, and I work.” Jesus is saying He works where He sees His Father working and where His Father is creating opportunities to share the truth. Jesus shared the truth only when He knew it could be understood and appreciated. Often times He rebuked people not with His words but with His life which is a much more gentle and valid rebuke than words.

Sure He often rebuked with His words, but please read this from The Desire of Ages, P. 353    ”Behold,” said Jesus, “I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” Christ Himself did not suppress one word of truth, but He spoke it always in love. He exercised the greatest tact, and thoughtful, kind attention in His intercourse with the people. He was never rude, never needlessly spoke a severe word, never gave needless pain to a sensitive soul. He did not censure human weakness. He fearlessly denounced hypocrisy, unbelief, and iniquity, but tears were in His voice as He uttered His scathing rebukes. He wept over Jerusalem, the city He loved, that refused to receive Him, the Way, the Truth, and the Life. They rejected Him, the Saviour, but He regarded them with pitying tenderness, and sorrow so deep that it broke His heart. Every soul was precious in His eyes. While He always bore Himself with divine dignity, He bowed with tenderest regard to every member of the family of God. In all men He saw fallen souls whom it was His mission to save.  

Please check out more of my studies and devotionals at InLightOfTheCross.com

18 Elul

“Keep Me From Lying To Myself…”

During this season of Elul (the month leading up to the High Holy Days on the Hebrew calendar), we are encouraged to take inventory of ourselves.  We need to deal aggressively with those things that we have allowed to separate us from Hashem (G-d).  How do we do this?

Several years ago, my husband and I hit a rough road in our marriage.  I allowed offenses – things I didn’t think he was doing right – to grow into what the Bible calls a bitter root.

Hebrews 13:15 - Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.

I was angry and didn’t know it.  Slowly the bitter root began to poison my thinking and attitude.  I came to the conclusion that “I did not want to be married.”  I felt G-d had let me down and the only way to salvage the rest of my life was to be free of all that I felt was “holding” me back.

Yep, folks – I drank deeply from the cup of the bitter root and became filled with “me.”   What was once small shots of  (My needs, my desires, my hurts….)  had now become huge wine goblets filled with “the way life should be.”   And it did not have my husband in it.

Yes, I was inebriated but  never fully out of my mind. I had learned through one of the classes my husband was teaching on renewing the mind, that there was an exercise I could do to help me count the cost of my thinking.    (He did not know at the time that I was in a battle for my soul).

DEALING AGGRESSIVELY WITH OURSELVES

Counting the Cost of Our Behaviors, Sins and/or Attitudes

First – Consider what this attitude, behavior or sin has already cost  me:  spiritually, mentally, emotionally, socially, financially, and professionally.

Second – Write down in very vivid detail, what it would cost me if I did not change.   Who would I hurt because I was not willing to step outside of my ”perceived” needs and walk in love.   How would my relationship with my young daughter be impacted?  How much pain would this cause her?  Five years from now  – ten years from now?   What living legacy was I bequeathing to her regarding G-d, family, relationships and accepting personal responsibility for her decisions?

I wrote it down. It was very specific, the emotions were very detailed.  The images were very vivid.  The sense of loss loomed large and became overwhelming as I imagined life without G-d,  and my family.   I saw others suffering because of my focus on my needs, wants and desires.  I saw myself hurting my friend, confidant and greatest supporter.

I DID NOT LIKE WHAT I WAS SEEING…

But the movie would not stop playing and it would not allow me to lie to myself about the potential effects of my decisions!

Like “smelling salts” each vignette slowly but surely countered the inebriating effects of the bitter root until I was left standing face to face with myself.  Undeniably the one who needed to change was me.  There were some bitter roots I needed to release and raw truth I needed to embrace.  It wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t easy but to remain the same was simply unacceptable.

On September 24th, we will celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary.   (Taking individual responsibility for our own emotions, thoughts, and actions is the hallmark of our marriage).

My constant prayer today as I aggressively confront those bitter roots along the rough roads of life  is a scripture that gripped my soul during that critical season in my life.

Psalm 119:29 (NLT) | Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions.

Gal 2:11 – But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned.
12 – For before certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party.
13 – And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy.
14 – But when I saw that their conduct was not in step with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas before them all, “If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you force the Gentiles to live like Jews?” (ESV)

 Paul hammers home something that is sorely lacking in my life today–the willingness to confront hypocritical behavior and beliefs.

I am still challenged by the politically correct views of the culture in which I live. That is, when I see something that stands out in contradiction to what I believe is clear in the Word, I fall back on “You are entitled to your beliefs.” I do not confront and challenge the hypocrisy that seems to contradict the clear teaching of scripture.

Yet, I am not immune to hypocrisy in my own life.

When I was in Bible College, I was visiting my parents over the Christmas holidays. At Christmas dinner, my mother liked for everyone to have a glass of wine, and I had no qualms about sharing a glass with the family. During the meal, a friend from the college showed up at the door, and I felt very uncomfortable with his arrival. Was I not somewhat like Peter in the above quoted passage?

To me, it was hypocritical to have that sort of feeling. Either it was okay to have a glass of wine, or it was not.

I think the problem with confrontation exists in my life for at least four reasons:

1. I’ve made incorrect calls in the past.
2. I’ve seen others abused by such confrontation.
3. Fear (of doing either one of those mentioned above).
4. Fear of the animosity generated by speaking the truth.

To be sure, there are times when, with limited understanding of God’s dealings in a person’s life, I have gone in to “reprove, rebuke, and exhort” (2 Tim. 4:2) and only caused grief for myself and the one whom I was trying to ‘help’. As a result, I now look for any possibility that “this may not be the right time” to bring something to someone’s attention.

I have heard more times than I can count that “whenever you point the finger, there are three pointing right back at you.” I’ve also heard the ‘judge not’ routine; and the ‘log in my own eye;’ and ‘we are not God’s policemen.’

I have spent many hours counselling those who have been hurt by someone who came in like gangbusters to correct some seeming misstep by a believer. I am also one who has suffered that kind of abuse.

As a result, I am now crippled with a fear of “getting it wrong” when dealing with one of God’s chosen.

But, the Lord has not given up on me. He continually brings someone my way who needs to be helped along the path, who wants to be helped along the path.

And in the process of my struggling with the correct words so that I minister life and not death, God gives grace and people are being restored.

However, as I write this, I am in contact with one whose world has been shaken. This one is no longer walking close to the Lord, and is even having doubts as to God’s existence, because of the ‘evil’ this one sees happening to and through others in the family.

I have been trying to make a gentle call to return to the Lord, but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. The person essentially says, “Speak to me plainly.”

The problem this one is dealing with is not so much behavior, as it is belief. The belief that is based in self-righteousness manifests itself in blaming the others who are involved.

Confrontation will soon be called for, because the hypocrisy of self-righteousness is a cancer that destroys any life it touches.

Will I be able to “be kind to (this one), able to teach, patiently enduring (the) evil (of vehement anger), correcting (this one) with gentleness” (2Tim. 2:24-25)?

To compound the problem, this is a person with whom I made a major mistake with a false confrontation almost 30 years ago; and now this one is back in my life after more than 25 years.

Who says there is no second chance with God? 

NOTE: This is the second in a weekly posting on the Epistle to the Galatians. I am not the only one who is writing on this book. There are others who will be posting something on their blog each day of the week. We are each bringing something that the Lord gives us from chapter two of the epistle. You will be greatly blessed and encouraged, and your heart will be filled if you will take the time to read each day’s posting from one of the other saints involved in this collective effort. Put this link in your “favorites” or on your link bar at the top of your browser: http://www.philter48.com/bbs/ and make it a point to visit everyday.