A big thank you to everyone who came out Wednesday night for the 4th Annual Trivia Turkey Bowl. Several former teams returned for this special event. Beth, Steve and Shonda from Zoinks! teamed up with Guys & Dolls, and Joe McNew, the God of Fire, made his return after a successful semester of classes.

An even bigger thank you to those who brought in canned goods for the Sharing Center in Sanford. Your generosity had me working overtime hauling all of the donations out to the car. I’ll deliver them to the Sharing Center next week.

As for the trivia, the Dirty Dixies walked away with the Quiz Cash trivia crown for November. The Dixies were in last place after the first week, and Gene found himself in Nancy’s dog house after the team lost 20 points on the Hero or Zero question. But the team battled back in Week Two to take the lead and never relinquished the top spot.

Guys & Dolls had a good month, finished just 1/2 point out of 3rd place.

Guys & Dolls and Empty Glasses won the free rounds of beer.

I need to say thanks to Theo at the Willow Tree Cafe (which was judged as the No. 2 German restaurant in all of America) and Terry at Angelo’s Pizza for donating gift certificates for the night. Your generosity is much appreciated. The teams who won gift certificates include Ecto Cooler, That’s What She Said, Clever Team Name, Simple Minded and Dirty Dixies.

And of course thanks to Rob and Terri at the Black Swan for hosting trivia each week and sponsoring the free shots of Wild Turkey that were passed out Wednesday night.

Trivial tidbits from the night included:

• According to Domino’s Pizza, the company delivers more pizza’s on Super Bowl Sunday than any other day. Domino’s second busiest day is Thanksgiving Eve.
• For their first meal on the moon, astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin ate roast turkey in foil packets.
• A person with Pentheraphobia fears mother-in-laws.
• You will find the Sargasso Sea in the Atlantic Ocean.

Standings:

1. Dirty Dixies – 365.25 points
2. Clever Team Name – 350
3. Empty Glasses – 331
4. Guys & Dolls – 330.5
5. Simple Minded – 265
6. Wayne’s World – 228
7. Chasin’ Trivia – 186
8. That’s What She Said – 102
9. Team Doc – 81
10. Haddo’s Delight – 62
11. Aged Beef – 59
12. Team Mas – 58
13. Ecto Cooler – 57
14. Don @ the Bar – 34
15. SanJax – 32
16. Flea Bites – 27
17. Team Larry – 14

Happy Thanksgiving all!

I just got home and jumped on the computer to scope out where I have to go for Black Friday tomorrow so I decided “why not update my blog real quick!”.

Well Thanksgiving was great I cooked a whole lot of food and saw a whole lot of family. When you cook as much food as I did eating is not really something you want to do after. So I had a small plate at my in laws house with small portions of about 5 different things and topped it off with a bit of peach cobbler and vanilla ice cream. Food was yummy and I was very proud that I didn’t get that over stuffed feeling that I remember from past thanksgivings. The only downside is I did absolutely no exercise. I am not gonna beat myself up about it because I am super tired and it would really be a waste to try and do Tae Bo.

Last night after cooking a few dishes I FORCED myself to do my 40 min Tae Bo tape. WOW it was torture! Usually it takes me about 10 mins to get into the swing of things but I didn’t feel like I got into the swing of the dvd until damn near the end. I was dragging but I figured I still had some cooking to do so why not do it in the time where I had one thing in the oven waiting for it to cook. Lets just say the dvd wiped me out because I almost burned my cake. I could barely keep my eyes open. So safe to say no Tae Bo tonight, my bed is calling me to its warm,plush enviroment.

All in all I feel like health wise I had a good Thanksgiving. Yes no exercise was really involved to-day but I did not overfill myself and I stayed conscious of my choices.

I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving and I look forward to getting back into the swing of things tomorrow.

Good night & Happy thanksgiving from my family to yours

~R

A bit late on this one, but I guess you’ll appreciate it anyway if you missed the game. Cleveland won 98 – 88 as you probably already know, but here is what you maybe missed:

• Rodney Stuckey was the only Pistons nearly playing 40 minutes – one part because Ben Gordon went down in the 2nd quarter and one part because Stuck was the only guy able to make baskets late in the 4th
• Will Bynum had his worst night this season so far – 1/13 shooting (= 7% FG%), 3 turnovers and he got stuffed at the rim twice – on the bright side: he dished out a team-high 5 assists
• The Cavaliers actually killed us with their three point shooting: 9/17 is quiet awesome, better than 50% from behind the arc
• Detroit out-rebounded Cleveland and had less turnovers, but when you don’t hit as many open jumpshots, you are in for a loooooooong night
• Charlie Villanueva fumbled some balls late in the game which always took our momentum – sometimes a sloppy play can kill everything you worked for the last couple of plays
• Jason Maxiell had his best game so far – I still don’t like the idea of him taking so many jumpshots, but when he is hitting them, I’m keeping my mouth shut. 10 points and 4 offensive boards plus some major hustle plays to keep plays alive – way to go!
• Austin Daye was the most pleasent surprise in this game. The kid made things happen: 9 points, 3 boards and a block. He looked really comfortable out there for the first time this season.

Austin Daye

————————

Cleveland MVP

• Surprise, surprise…LeBron James, of course. 34 points, 8 boards, 7 assists – is there more you need to know? This guy made things happen and he did it in style. YouTube Proof.

• He wasn’t alone, tho, it was a team effort. 5 Cleveland players scored in double digits.

Detroit MVP

• Not really a close one, Rodney Stuckey carried us through major parts of our runs to keep the game close. A team-high 25 points on 50% shooting from the field and a perfect 8/8 from the free throw line. Add 6 boards and 2 steals to it and you got yourself a pretty decent statline. Some more assists would have been nice, but who should he have passed the ball to? Bynum who was 1/13? Ben Wallace? Jerebko? You get my point, I guess.

Hey Gleeks, want to know what "hairography" is? Well, behold the girls of Jane Adams Academy and your inspiration for the rest of tonight's show.

Distractions, flashyness, smoke and mirrors. All these words mean the same thing, and on this week’s episode of Glee, that thing is called “hairography.” This week’s episode opens with Will thinking that Sue is leaking his setlist to their competition for sectionals, and so he pays a visit to the glee club coach at Jane Adams Academy (played by Eve). After learning that the underprivileged girls at Jane Adams don’t have an auditorium for practice sessions, Mr. Schue invites the girls to practice at McKinley, thinking that the New Directions club will benefit from a sneak preview of their competitors. And oh my glee, what a sneak preview they get. The Jane Adams girls wow our gleeks with a glitzy, over-the-top performance of “Bootylicious” by Destiny’s Child, and Mr. Schue decides that his club needs to step up their game and add some more glamour to their setlist. This means wigs for the boys, lots of hair-shaking, and (another!) mash-up, this time of the title song from the musical Hair and Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s “Crazy In Love.“ And while the performance is somewhat hilarious, Will quickly realizes that it’s also rather ridiculous and that his kids don’t need gimmicks – a realization that’s even more cemented in him after the Haverbrook Deaf Choir (another competing school, who demanded their own scrimmage in the name of fairness) performs an absolutely beautiful singing/signing version of John Lennon’s “Imagine.” The New Directions glee club is talented without the showbiz glitz and glamour, and so Will scraps the hairography from his setlist and fills it with a sweet and honest performance of Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors” with the lovely Tina C. on lead vocals.

Terri gives Will an old car in hopes of kindling his supposed grease monkey tendencies...and distract him from the fact that she's totally not pregnant.

In other storylines, hairography continues to run rampant. Everywhere. Hairography #1: Quinn decides that she wants to give Puck a fair chance at trying his hand at being a daddy but needs Finn to be distracted first, so she enlists Kurt to give Rachel a sexy makeover. Hairography #2: Quinn tells Terri that she’s considering keeping her baby, and thus Terri and her sister Kendra arrange for Quinn to babysit Kendra’s terror children to prove how difficult raising children can be. Hairography #3: Will keeps trying to get it on with his wife, and so to distract him, Terri buys him an old car to spend all his free time fixing up. And in the end, what do we learn? Hairography always fails. Except when it still kind of works, that is. Because even though Kurt sabotaged Rachel’s makeover because of his own crush on Finn, Finn still rejected Rachel and by the end of the episode the rhyming couple are all lovey-dovey again. And because even though Quinn and Puck totally rocked (and I mean, rocked, because Quinn’s rendition of Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach” was fabulous) their babysitting gig, it turns out that Puck was sexting (that’s sexy texting, as Santana nicely points out for us not in the know) with Santana the whole time and is actually, well, still a pig, and so Quinn decides to still give her baby to Terri so that the child will have a good father. And because even though Will totally loves the car Terri gives him, he’s too determined to be a good daddy so he buys a hideous wood-panelled van to safely drive their baby around in. Okay, so maybe not all of Terri’s plans worked out, but it’s Terri, so who cares.

Favourite moments, scenes, and quotes:

• The complete insanity of the Jane Adams girls’ performance of “Bootylicious.” Hairography, indeed! The slow-motion hair waving parts were a great touch. Also, I loved when Finn starts clapping after their performance and Quinn angrily pulls his hands back down.
• Quinn: “I’m starting to realize that what I need right now, even more than looser pants, is acceptance.”
• Kurt: “Rachel somehow manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time.”
• Kurt to Rachel: “Most of the time I find it hard to be in the same room with you, especially this one which looks like where Strawberry Shortcake and Holly Hobby come to hook up.”
• Finn being totally stunned over Rachel and her boobs when she walks through the halls post-makeover in a dress that clearly must be breaking dress code rules.
• Puck: “The usual: I was gonna stand outside the 7/11 looking depressed until someone buys me beer.”
• 

  Rachel goes from sweet Sandra Dee to sexy Sandy in her makeover move for Finn.

  “You’re the One That I Want” reprise in Rachel’s bedroom! Finn’s just as nervous as he was the first time, and it’s adorable to hear him tell her that he likes how she normally looks, sequin legwarmers and all.

• The entire babysitting scene. The kids being psychotic while Puck and Quinn are tied to the chairs, Puck smacking one of the kids in the head when getting them to listen, and, of course, Quinn’s sexy, sweet, and super heart-felt singing.
• The back-to-back confrontations: Rachel vs. Kurt and Santana vs. Quinn. Rachel and Kurt realize that they’re both only at best a second place choice for Finn, and Santana reveals her naughty relationship with Puck. Also, killer line from Santana to Quinn: “Also, asking someone to babysit with you is so nineties.”
• The deaf choir kids signing about how absolutely crazy the gleeks look performing “Hair/Crazy In Love.” Agreed!
• The deaf choir and the New Directions crew doing a joint performance of “Imagine.” This was simply beautiful. When Mercedes went up to join them I got chills, and it was so sweet watching the gleeks try to follow along with the sign language. This just made me ridiculously teary-eyed. A powerful, wonderful scene.
• 

  Quinn hugging Mr. Schue after telling Terri that she'll give them her baby: One of the sweetest moments of the episode.

  Quinn hugging Mr. Schue after she decides to give her baby girl to Terri so that the child will have a good father.

• Quinn to Finn: “Can we be in love again?” Normally I’m all about Finn and Rachel getting together, but this scene between Finn and Quinn was much too sweet and I think I might be changing my mind…
• Miss Hitchens (Eve) to Sue: “Who do you think I am?” Sue to Miss Hitchens: “That’s a very good question since I’ve forgotten both of your names.”
• The perfect “True Colors” performance. What can I say? I love the awesome group numbers. This was lovely: just singing, no distractions. Sitting on the stools, wearing different “colour”ed shirts. The message, the song, and the fantastic Tina C. taking the lead! And, as always, the awesome significant looks shared amongst all those involved in the messed-up relationships these gleeks have.

With no gimmicks and no distractions, the gleeks do a beautiful performance of "True Colors."

Y’know, I wish I had counted how many times the word “distract” or any variations of it were said in this episode. Overall, I thought that this week’s episode drilled the theme home a little too hard and found that it, uh, distracted, from the great musical numbers (“Imagine” and “True Colors”) and some fantastic character development (Quinn simply blew me away this week). Also, what was the point of having Eve guest star? She was barely in the episode and really didn’t bring anything interesting to the table. This definitely wasn’t one of my favourite episodes thus far, but there were still some amazing moments. What about the rest of you, gleeksters? Am I being too picky, or did you find this week to be slightly off base as well? Let me know what you thought in the comments!

Next week: The glee kids try to up their popularity after getting cast in a mattress commercial. Yup, that means jumping around on mattresses while singing Van Halen’s “Jump.” Fun episode, ahoy!

WORK TIME: Approx. 2 hrs

FINAL PROJECT TIME: 4min 1sec

CAMERA: Panasonic SDR-H80

EDITED WITH: Sony Vegas Movie Studio Platinum 9 (4GB RAM, Windows 7)

A small recap of Day 2 of the Al-Maghrib “Seerah: The Sheperd’s Path” course with Shaykh AbdulBary Yahya with Banu Noor (in Orlando, Florida).

SET-UP:

I just carried my small camera around, getting whatever interviews and b-roll shots (random, filler footage) I could get. I only taped a few snippets of the class (things like the breathing exercise, when the shaykh recited some verses, etc.). One thing that I learned, a little late, was that whenever you’re going to do interviews, write down the questions. It’s going to help you so greatly in actually getting people to do an interview. They see you as more professional and think about it deeper. Another thing, to organize my footage, I tried to have a little ‘clapper’ shots. You’ve probably seen a clapper before:

Though I didn’t have a cool one like that, I just took a shot of a piece of paper that said “Day 1, Day 2, Day 3…”. Therefore, when I looked at my footage, I know everything after that one clip was from that day, until another ‘clapper’ clip showing the next day.

EDITING:

Basic cutting, tried to use more straight cuts (as I usually use fades and dissolves, perhaps a little too much). Also, discovered a new effect in Sony Vegas called “Light Rays.” Achieves a very nice effect, especially for Banu Noor! (Noor=light).

FINAL THOUGHTS:

It’s hard to capture any experience on video. This is only a small trigger to remind those who attended the class of how much fun and beneficial the experience was.

Share.

Add to: Facebook | Digg | Stumbleupon | Twitter

Dexter stars Michael C. Hall, most known for his role as David in the HBO drama Six Feet Under. Michael C Hall plays Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter specialist working in Miami for the police.

A lot has changed for Dexter this season. He’s married with a new house and he’s got a new baby in the world. It’s taking a toll on our favorite serial killer. He’s messing up at his job because of his lack of sleep.

Season 4 is pretty incredible. Dexter just keeps getting better. It’s been a while since I wrote this and I just didn’t have time to post these, so I decided to do so this week. Here you go!

Warning: Spoilers ahead and strong language.

* * * * *

Dex continues to insinuate himself into Trinity’s life and makes some startling discoveries. His family isn’t picture perfect. According to his son, he beats and terrorizes them. Even Dex finds this appalling. He sticks around for Thanksgiving to get the full skinny on Trinity, only to have his Dark Passenger wrench itself loose to stop Trinity from killing his son.

That’s not the only shocker in this episode. Elliott, the single neighbor, makes his move on Rita and kisses her. Deb starts piecing stuff together and figures out who shot her. There’s more to Christine than meets the eye. There is something wrong with her and now we find out what: she’s Trinity’s daughter and she shot Lundy and Deb.

* * * * *

Dex is spying on Trinity again. He sees him breaking some of his son’s baseball trophies for being bad at baseball. Dexter goes after him. He sees him hitting some baseballs. He also sees him take a baseball bat at his father’s Mustang GT500. Jonah says that his father hits him. Jonah says that living with his father is like a tour of duty. He treats his father and his sister like shit. Jonah says that he could come by for Thanksgiving.

Deb tells Dex that she is lead detective on the Trinity case. Baptista informs the squad that the DNA sweeps are like Christmas for their cases. They are closing a lot of open cases. They’ve got 72 hours before the sweeps are stopped because the ACLU, which is filling suit. Deb says that she isn’t coming for Thanksgiving. Dex has his kids record a plaintive video message. Deb gets it and invites Matsuka to come.

Christine wants to spend Thanksgiving with Quinn, but it’s too much of a commitment initially for him.

Elliott is over again. He is helping prepare the turkey. He’s insinuating himself into Rita’s life. Dex doesn’t sense it yet.

It’s time for Thanksgiving. Deb arrives at Dexter’s. She surprised to find Elliott there. Matsuka arrives. Rita and Elliott leave to use both of his ovens.

Dex is at Trinity’s. It’s not a smart idea. Dex finds the wooden coffin that Trinity made. Jonah arrives. Trinity sees the GT500. It’s covered in dents and the windshield is broken. Since Dex is here, Trinity doesn’t go all mental. I wonder if Jonah was telling the truth.

Deb realizes that Trinity is on a school schedule. He’s in the education system. That’s why his kills happen on specific days.

Quinn decides that having a hot girlfriend isn’t a bad idea. She gives him head.

Dex finds out that Trinity locks his daughter in her room. The room isn’t really like a teenager’s. The cracks aren’t apparent. While Dex is outside with the daughter, Trinity breaks his son’s finger. The girl wants to get away from her family. She propositions him. Dex says that she’s 15. He refuses. Sally comes out. She apologizes for Rebecca. She begs him not to say anything to Arthur.

There is a family emergency with Cody and the kids. He needs to leave. Elliott had to break down the door to get Cody out. He fell through the skylight. He comes back inside and finds Jonah taping up his finger.

Angel tells Maria that he loves her. She returns the favor.

Elliott makes his move on Rita. He kisses her. She runs off. Matsuka sees this. He tries to leave, but Deb forces him to stay.

Things get ugly during Thanksgiving dinner at Trinity’s. Jonah says that he is a killer. Trinity hurls his daughter away. Trinity starts to strangle Jonah. Dex gets him off and he almost kills him. He doesn’t have the chance. The family is there. The Harry-in-Dexter says that he’s shown his monster to Trinity. He’ll see him coming. Dex comes home.

Deb realizes that Christine knows something about the Lundy shooting. She knew that Deb looked directly in Lundy’s eyes while he died. Christine mentioned this to her earlier that day. She’s the shooter. Deb calls Quinn to see if she saw the file. She didn’t. Deb is onto her. Deb realizes this after Cody was asking her questions about getting shot and looking at Lundy’s eyes while he was dying.

Trinity comes to see Christine. She’s his other daughter. OMG. That’s messed up. A happy serial killer family.

* * * * *

Relevant Posts

• Dexter Season 1 Review
• Dexter S02E01
• Dexter S02E11
• Dexter S02E12
• Dexter S03E01
• Dexter S03E10
• Dexter S03E11
• Dexter S03E12
• Dexter S04E01
• Dexter S04E02
• Dexter S04E03
• Dexter S04E04
• Dexter S04E05
• Dexter S04E06
• Dexter S04E07
• Dexter S04E08

Dexter stars Michael C. Hall, most known for his role as David in the HBO drama Six Feet Under. Michael C Hall plays Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter specialist working in Miami for the police.

A lot has changed for Dexter this season. He’s married with a new house and he’s got a new baby in the world. It’s taking a toll on our favorite serial killer. He’s messing up at his job because of his lack of sleep.

Season 4 is pretty incredible. Dexter just keeps getting better. It’s been a while since I wrote this and I just didn’t have time to post these, so I decided to do so this week. Here you go!

Warning: Spoilers ahead and strong language.

* * * * *

Dex and Trinity go on a road trip. Trinity makes some startling revelations. Dex learns that there is a reason why he did this. Deb makes a discovery about who shot her. It’s not Trinity, so it gets her back onto the Trinity case. One of the kids’ friends dad hits heavily on Rita while Dex is away. She doesn’t know what to do with all of this male attention.

Deb’s colorful language is always a highlight in any Dexter episode. It was particularly noticeable in this episode. I jotted down the best ones. It would have been simpler for Dex just to let Trinity die. That would have solved his problems and gotten rid of Trinity. It was a bad move for him.

This was a good, yet frustrating episode. Now that Trinity no longer has any ash, will his killings stop, or will he just evolve?

* * * * *

The squad is investigating Farrow’s disappearance. It’s been turned into a homicide, much to Dex’s chagrin, who killed him by mistake. During the meeting, Deb presents her serial bludgeoning case. During the case presentation, she mistakenly shows one of the bathtub murders. LaGuerta is quick and notices the smudge present there too. She wants Morgan to tell them the whole story. Deb obliges. She tells them about Trinity. LaGuerta buys it, but she isn’t happy with the way that Deb went about it.

Dex pops by Trinity’s place. Trinity is starting to crack. Dex thinks that it makes him look normal. Trinity is going to Tampa alone. Dex needs to go to so that he can take care of Trinity.

Deb tells Dex that LaGuerta took her off the case because she was the victim of Trinity. Dex finds some weather conference to go to. Trinity is also packing his killing tools. He’s running out of his sister’s ashes. What will he do when he runs out? Instead of following him around, Dex convinces him to give him a lift to Tampa. Dex is treading dangerously. He is annoying a very successful serial killer. He tells Trinity that he killed a man during a hunting accident. Trinity says that the remorse and guilt is eating away at him.

Deb tells Quinn to try for DNA sweeps on tall, blue-eyed Caucasians. Dex wants to go out shopping when Trinity asks him out. He says that he’s got a surprise for him in store.

While Maria and Angel are trying to find money in the budget for the DNA sweeps, a tipsy Quinn walks in to inform them that a bunch of guys will donate their vacation days. Angel and Maria get busy in the conference room.

Quinn is woken up by Christine desperately looking for a lead. While they get busy, she sees his paperwork and sees that he’s going to do some DNA sweeps.

Trinity takes Dex away with him. He’s got his tools with him. Dex doesn’t suspect a thing.

Matsuka tells Quinn about Leila. Dex was seeing a crazy Leila while he was dating Rita.

Trinity takes Dex to his old house. He grew up here. Trinity just barges in. He goes to the bathroom and recounts how his sister died while he was peeping on her taking a shower. He tells how his parents blamed him. His mother committed suicide. His father beat him relentlessly. He was mean drunk. Trinity killed him. He doesn’t say this. Trinity says that he never told anyone about this.

Christine comes to bug Deb. In order to stop her from reporting about this, Deb capitulates and offers her the hero interview.

While Dex goes to check in at the conference and create his alibi, he comes back and finds Trinity pontificating to some random family about his sister dying. Dex takes him away. It looks like the walls in Trinity’s psyche are breaking down.

Fuck me. Mother shit fuck.
Deb in the bathroom

Deb notices something about her wound. The trajectory doesn’t match Trinity’s height. From their evidence, they know that Trinity is 6’4”. From the trajectory, the shooter is Matsuka’s height. Considerably lower. It wasn’t Trinity who shot Lundy and Deb.

Rita’s neighbor took Astor and Cody out for fishing. They have a family dinner after they come back when he offers to gut the fish.

Dex finds Trinity gone from his room. He’s on foot with his killing tools. Dex finds him at the building site. Trinity is about to jump off the building. Dex saves him. He’s about to let go when workers come to help him out. That was a stupid move by Dex. He should have just let him jump. Dex is an idiot. He wanted to kill him himself. Before trying to jump off, Trinity dropped the bottle containing the last of his sister’s ashes.

LaGuerta tells Deb that since there is no longer a conflict of interest, she can work the Trinity case.

-Nobody know this case better than you. You’re taking lead.
-Motherfucker, really?
LaGuerta to Deb

When Dex and Trinity drive home, they face the random DNA sweeps. Dex lets Trinity know what the roadblock is so that he drives the other way.

* * * * *

Relevant Posts

• Dexter Season 1 Review
• Dexter S02E01
• Dexter S02E11
• Dexter S02E12
• Dexter S03E01
• Dexter S03E10
• Dexter S03E11
• Dexter S03E12
• Dexter S04E01
• Dexter S04E02
• Dexter S04E03
• Dexter S04E04
• Dexter S04E05
• Dexter S04E06
• Dexter S04E07

Dexter stars Michael C. Hall, most known for his role as David in the HBO drama Six Feet Under. Michael C Hall plays Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter specialist working in Miami for the police.

A lot has changed for Dexter this season. He’s married with a new house and he’s got a new baby in the world. It’s taking a toll on our favorite serial killer. He’s messing up at his job because of his lack of sleep.

Season 4 is pretty incredible. Dexter just keeps getting better. It’s been a while since I wrote this and I just didn’t have time to post these, so I decided to do so this week. Here you go!

Warning: Spoilers ahead and strong language.

* * * * *

Dex has a new target and delays taking on Trinity to study him further. He doesn’t know that he’s arousing Trinity’s suspicion. Trinity has been a serial killer for decades. Dexter’s appearance won’t strike him as coincidence once he starts putting two and two together. Meanwhile, Quinn is following Dexter. He thinks that something is up with him. This doesn’t look good for Dex. Luckily, Dex spots him quickly enough.

* * * * *

Dex is relaxing with his family on his boat when he gets a call for another body. A man shot a gator. The gator had the arm of a woman inside of it. Dex is overwhelmed by the kids after coming home. It’s like he has two jobs. Being a father is hard work. For some reason, Dexter asks Trinity’s advice. He tells him that his kids have outside interests.

Deb comes back to the station. Dex warns Christine off from pursuing her article. He makes it clear to Quinn that he doesn’t want Christine around Deb.

Let’s all welcome back Detective Fucking Morgan!
LaGuerta to her crew

They’ve identified the arm. It’s from Estrella Carazo, a Nicaraguan student that was here on an expired visa. She had a fashion shoot with Jonathan Farrow. He was accused of rape, but the charges were dropped. The detective on that case said that the witness was bought off.

Dex starts getting focused on Farrow, who says something completely inappropriate to her during the interview. Harry-in-Dexter wonders why he isn’t getting ready to kill Trinity. Dex tells himself that Harry didn’t teach him everything. He taught him to be alone and that he couldn’t be with anyone.

Dex decides to try and find stuff for the kids to do. Cody likes the Sailing Club that Dex found for him. Astor isn’t impressed with Dex’s choices for her.

Dex meets up with Trinity to cut down a tree. It’s just getting creepy and dangerous. Trinity tells Dex not to suggest things to Astor, but impose them. Trinity is getting worrisome. Dex is pushing his buttons. On the way back, they hit a deer. Trinity can’t kill it, so Dex has to do it.

Angel has found 3 other models from South America that have mysteriously disappeared. They were all models for Farrow. Dex investigates Farrow’s studio. He finds splatter evidence and a fingernail, which matches Estrella’s arm.

By interfering with Trinity, Dex might have changed the way he behaves. He’s getting quite worked up.

Deb meets Valerie. She says that she was one of his girlfriends. She says that he picked his CIs by how good he was in the sack. It’s too much. She tells Dex. Deb says that she should just leave it alone. Dex agrees. He finds his mother’s file on top of Deb’s pile. He starts to shred it. He keeps the photo.

Dex learns that he has to go with Cody to the sailing thing. She says that he can’t cancel. He has to go with Cody. This puts his plans with Farrow in jeopardy. Actually, he uses the excuse to prep his supplies for the trip to go examine Farrow. He’s got no idea that Quinn is following him. He spots Quinn in the bar. Dex uses a hot girl to ditch Quinn. Quinn knows that he’s been made.

Dex goes out with Cody the next morning. Deb presents her ideas on Trinity to LaGuerta. She gets the OK to start an investigation. It’s limited and Deb kept out her theory about Trinity shooting her and Lundy. Quinn looks like an ass in front of Angel and Deb does the same for LaGuerta.

Dex skips out while the kids are sleeping to deal with Farrow. He takes him out and dumps the body. Trinity used the lumber to create a coffin.

Dex comes back and finds out that Angel had Farrow’s assistant arrested for the murders. This means that Dex killed an innocent man.

* * * * *

Relevant Posts

• Dexter Season 1 Review
• Dexter S02E01
• Dexter S02E11
• Dexter S02E12
• Dexter S03E01
• Dexter S03E10
• Dexter S03E11
• Dexter S03E12
• Dexter S04E01
• Dexter S04E02
• Dexter S04E03
• Dexter S04E04
• Dexter S04E05
• Dexter S04E06

Dexter stars Michael C. Hall, most known for his role as David in the HBO drama Six Feet Under. Michael C Hall plays Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter specialist working in Miami for the police.

A lot has changed for Dexter this season. He’s married with a new house and he’s got a new baby in the world. It’s taking a toll on our favorite serial killer. He’s messing up at his job because of his lack of sleep.

Season 4 is pretty incredible. Dexter just keeps getting better. It’s been a while since I wrote this and I just didn’t have time to post these, so I decided to do so this week. Here you go!

Warning: Spoilers ahead and strong language.

* * * * *

Rita finds out about Dex’s apartment and he’s in deep trouble. Meanwhile, Dex starts to study Trinity. He’s astounded at what he learns. He’s got a loving family, a career and fits in generally. Dex wants to learn more.

* * * * *

Dexter is going to Trinity’s church. He’s a deacon and a teacher. Rita is still angry with Dex for keeping his apartment. Rita made an appointment for them with a therapist.

Deb needs a ride to the station. Dex is called to a bludgeoning. Deb knew where this would happen. Dex is trying to get the beat on Trinity, but Matsuka is fast.

Angel is getting a promotion and a desk job out of homicide. He isn’t disappointed. He tells Maria that she did the right thing telling Matthews.

Matsuka found out that the smudge that Dex found was DNA. The smudge is composed of saliva and human bone fragments. Angel sends Deb home.

Dex is in deep shit with Rita about the apartment. Dex is trying to study Trinity.

Deb asks Quinn about going on the record and saying that she saw Rhodes shooting her and Lundy. Quinn’s girlfriend also wants to interview Deb.

Matsuka learns that the killer is related to the remains. Dex decides to work with Trinity on some housing project that he’s involved in. Dex talks with the kids as well.

Instead of leaving it alone, Deb goes to question Nikki. She tells her that she will say that she saw her.

La Guerta tells Matthews that she wants to transfer out of homicide. Matthews isn’t too keen on the idea. He’ll let her know what he decides. She tells Angel. She doesn’t want him to leave homicide. She should have just kept quite. That would have solved their problems. They both tell Matthews that they broke up. They’ve got sworn affidavits. He tells them if they are lying, there will be severe consequences.

Dex is trying to learn to open up to others. Trinity can do this without problems. He needs to learn to do this as well. He’s used to keeping everything inside.

Matsuka finds out that the smudged DNA is female. Deb tells Quinn that she isn’t going to lie about seeing Nikki. She thinks that Nikki is right. Someone else killed Lundy. Deb is going over Lundy’s file. She says that some things are missing, including notebooks and audio tapes.

Dex finds out that Arthur Mitchell’s sister was found dead in a bathtub 1959. Marcia Mitchel jumped to her death in 1961. Henry Mitchell died in an alley of a fatal head wound in 1964. He’s recreating their deaths, decade after decade.

Dex cuts himself to find out where Trinity keeps his killing tools. Trinity’s trophies are hidden in plain sight. He doesn’t need to hide things. Dex provokes Trinity by touching the urn of her ashes. Arthur almost crushes his larynx, but is able to reign in his anger. Trinity says that he jumped in with both feet. His family saved him. Before leaving, Trinity gives him some tools. He gives him the murder weapon.

Dex has an epiphany about his family. He shares this in his next therapy session. He says that he wants space to store his stuff, physical and emotional.

-Have you told LaGuerta your theory?
-Not yet. Need to make sure that I have a case first, I don’t want to step on my dick.
Deb and Dex talking

Deb and Dex talk. She tells him that she believes that Trinity killed Lundy and shot her, after he stole some of the evidence that Lundy had amassed on him.

Dex and Rita build a shed for him to store his stuff. Much to his surprise, Rita gives him a padlock to lock it up and keep it away from the kids.

* * * * *

Relevant Posts

• Dexter Season 1 Review
• Dexter S02E01
• Dexter S02E11
• Dexter S02E12
• Dexter S03E01
• Dexter S03E10
• Dexter S03E11
• Dexter S03E12
• Dexter S04E01
• Dexter S04E02
• Dexter S04E03
• Dexter S04E04
• Dexter S04E05

Dexter stars Michael C. Hall, most known for his role as David in the HBO drama Six Feet Under. Michael C Hall plays Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter specialist working in Miami for the police.

A lot has changed for Dexter this season. He’s married with a new house and he’s got a new baby in the world. It’s taking a toll on our favorite serial killer. He’s messing up at his job because of his lack of sleep.

Season 4 is pretty incredible. Dexter just keeps getting better. It’s been a while since I wrote this and I just didn’t have time to post these, so I decided to do so this week. Here you go!

Warning: Spoilers ahead and strong language.

* * * * *

LaGuerta tells the brass about her relationship with Angel. This won’t be pretty. Deb was shot in the last episode. She’s still alive, but Lundy was killed. Trinity outplayed Lundy easily, because he wasn’t astute enough.

* * * * *

Dexter arrives on scene. Some idiot uniform tries to stop him from seeing Deb. Deb is still alive. Lundy is dead. The MO smells like the Vacation Murderer. LaGuerta and Angel send him to the hospital. Lundy was shot twice. Deb was left alive. It sounds like the MO.

Christine arrives to see Quinn. Dex checks Lundy’s hotel room. He made his life to search for Trinity. Dex takes his evidence.

Rita answers Dex’s phone and learns that Dex still has his apartment. Deb wakes up. She didn’t need surgery, just a couple of stitches. Anton arrives, as well as Rita. Rita tells him about the pipe bursting at his apartment. Rita wants to talk about it later. Deb tells Anton that she slept with Lundy. She wants to break up with him.

LaGuerta told the brass that she made disclosure about their relationship. The Deputy Chief is waiting and hovering around. Baptista planted a story about Johnny Rhodes in the papers, using Christine. It may pit Nikki against Johnny.

Dex is at his place. It’s no more his sanctuary. He needs it for his Dark Passenger. Deb calls him. She needs him to pick her up. She also needs a place to stay. Dex is starting to listen to Lundy’s tapes. Dex figures out that Lundy was killed by Trinity because he go too close. Lundy couldn’t put together the pieces.

Trinity is shopping for hammers. Dex is staking out Trinity’s next murder place. He realizes that he doesn’t have all of Lundy’s tapes. The last one must be in his recorder, which is locked into evidence.

Quinn is giving Christine some head. They start their relationship back up. Deb stays at Dex’s place. She senses some tension between Dex and Rita. Dex manages to stall her.

Angel and LaGuerta have made up. Dex manages to swipe the tape easily enough. Trinity gets the skinny on the office building. He gets a tour and a lot of info on how to get in.

Rita asks Deb if she knew about Dex’s apartment. Deb is punishing herself by not taking her pain pills. Dex listens to the tape. Lundy ID his encounter with Trinity. There is a shooting at a motel. It’s Johnny Rhodes. Matsuka works the scene. He was shot 3 times. Nikki is cornered behind a liquor store. Quinn tasers her.

Quinn phones Deb that they got Nikki and Rhodes. Deputy Chief Matthews wants a word with LaGuerta. Matthews says that Angel will have to be transferred out of homicide. He will get a promotion included in the transfer.

Deb talks with Dex. She’s freaking out. She tells him that she is broken. He replies that he is. He comes to his apartment and finds Rita waiting for him. She went through his stuff and didn’t find anything. He opens his trunk and there is a gun in there. He says that he wasn’t comfortable bringing it home. Rita says that she is seeing how good he is at lying. He should sleep here tonight. When he comes home, they’ll have a lot of work in order to make their marriage work.

Dex arrives at the building. He’s too late. Trinity is already killing the sandwich guy by bludgeoning him to death. The security guard is fine. Dex goes to the security desk and sees Trinity doing his dirty work. He follows him in his van. He leaves the city. He goes to a home in the suburbs. He’s got a wife and a family.

* * * * *

Relevant Posts

• Dexter Season 1 Review
• Dexter S02E01
• Dexter S02E11
• Dexter S02E12
• Dexter S03E01
• Dexter S03E10
• Dexter S03E11
• Dexter S03E12
• Dexter S04E01
• Dexter S04E02
• Dexter S04E03
• Dexter S04E04

Dexter stars Michael C. Hall, most known for his role as David in the HBO drama Six Feet Under. Michael C Hall plays Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter specialist working in Miami for the police.

A lot has changed for Dexter this season. He’s married with a new house and he’s got a new baby in the world. It’s taking a toll on our favorite serial killer. He’s messing up at his job because of his lack of sleep.

Season 4 is pretty incredible. Dexter just keeps getting better. It’s been a while since I wrote this and I just didn’t have time to post these, so I decided to do so this week. Here you go!

Warning: Spoilers ahead and strong language.

* * * * *

Dex confronts a serious killer in this episode. Zoe is a cop gone bad and Dex has his sights set on her, but she’s wary of people poking in her life and Dex arouses her suspicion.

* * * * *

Dex is taking some time off from his family. He’s staying home while they are going to a wedding. The kids left him a present. It’s an “I Love Dad” mug. He’s got 72 hours alone. Dex will be recharging with Zoe Kruger. Her family got killed while she survived. Zoe’s husband and daughter were shot and killed. She was shot twice. The blood swipe at the scene belongs to a drug dealer named Ray. The blood guy’s theory is that Zoe planted the evidence. Ray was killed in a drug related incident.

Dex comes to his lab and finds his sister and Lundy looking through some photos. Quinn’s reporter fuckbuddy put Lundy on the front page. They are hiding from LaGuerta, who tells Lundy that his visitor’s badge has expired.

Trinity is staking out his next murder. He sees Lundy on the cover of the paper. LaGuerta tells Angel that they should inform the brass about their relationship. Angel is against this. He messes it up.

Dex finds out that Zoe was still wearing gloves when she shot herself.

Anton isn’t happy that Deb is spending so much time with her ex Lundy. She tries to reassure her, but Anton knows her pretty well.

Trinity provokes a drunk to rough him up a bit. Dex visits Zoe’s house. Dex meets her. She offers to give him a tour. Her story is that she’s separated and her daughter is with him. That doesn’t make any sense. Usually, realtors have to make full disclosures about murders that happened in their houses. Dex thinks that the gloves that Zoe used are in the garbage disposal. He finds some trace evidence just in time before Zoe walks in.

Lundy and Deb figured out where Trinity will strike next. There is some obvious sexual tension. He tells her about his feelings and it makes Deb uncomfortable. She leaves.

Angel tells Dex about LaGuerta. Angel wants to keep their relationship private. He doesn’t want the brass to know. It’s kind of ridiculous.

Quinn tells his reporter buddy Christine that he doesn’t want to work it out with her. She messed it up by reporting their pillow talk. Dex finds some blood on the glove he found in Zoe’s garbage disposal.

Lundy is at the site of the bar, which isn’t a bar anymore. Trinity is there and spots him from a distance. Trinity runs into him to provoke a meeting. Lundy is suspicious and follows him to a bus.

Dex gets stopped by a cop. It must be Zoe. She found out about Dex being a blood spatter analyst. Zoe knows that he has her file. She threatens him. Dex wants to call it off. Harry doesn’t let him. He needs to take care of her. Dex comes up with a plan. He asks for Ray’s file. He’s batting the beehive. The record clerk tells Zoe.

LaGuerta talks with Dex. She knows that he knows about her relationship with Angel. He tells her that he never leaves anything to chance. Krueger comes snooping around again. She’s out of her jurisdiction. He tells her that he’s got proof that she killed her family. There was blood on her glove in her garbage disposal. Also, there was gun residue on it. He’s going to tell his superiors in the morning. She pulls a gun on him. She dares him to tell them.

Deb turns up at Lundy’s place and starts to kiss him. He called her earlier to tell her about Trinity.

Dex is waiting for Krueger. She comes to his house with the intention of killing him and making it look like a home invasion gone wrong. She’s no match for him. He gets her quickly enough. She wakes up in Dex’s kill position. He’s made is so that they will believe that she went to the Philippines. There is no extradition theory. The glove evidence is back in her place. He also packed her a suitcase. Her car will be left in the port.

While taunting her, Dex realizes that he’d rather have his family find out the truth than lose them. The house is a mess. Dex has to scramble to clean it up. Rita and the kids arrive. They are beat.

Deb says goodbye to Lundy and gets shot by Trinity. Lundy also gets shot. Trinity takes his valuables. We don’t see Trinity’s face, but it’s obvious that it’s him.

* * * * *

Relevant Posts

• Dexter Season 1 Review
• Dexter S02E01
• Dexter S02E11
• Dexter S02E12
• Dexter S03E01
• Dexter S03E10
• Dexter S03E11
• Dexter S03E12
• Dexter S04E01
• Dexter S04E02
• Dexter S04E03

Dexter stars Michael C. Hall, most known for his role as David in the HBO drama Six Feet Under. Michael C Hall plays Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter specialist working in Miami for the police.

A lot has changed for Dexter this season. He’s married with a new house and he’s got a new baby in the world. It’s taking a toll on our favorite serial killer. He’s messing up at his job because of his lack of sleep.

Season 4 is pretty incredible. Dexter just keeps getting better. It’s been a while since I wrote this and I just didn’t have time to post these, so I decided to do so this week. Here you go!

Warning: Spoilers ahead and strong language.

* * * * *

Quinn tries to bribe Dex, but it doesn’t work. Trinity is in full swing. Things just get worse for Dexter in this episode.

* * * * *

Dex is at a backyard BBQ in his new neighborhood. Rita tells Dexter that she talked with his doctors. She says that she will be driving him around, as per his doctor’s orders. There is a neighborhood vandal.

Meanwhile, the Trinity killer is getting ready to kill another victim. He throws her down a building. He actually makes her jump.

Dexter’s door gets marked. Getting driven around by his wife is slowly driving Dexter insane. At the precinct, they’ve come up empty on Johnny Rhodes. Quinn bribes Dex with some tickets to the Dolphins. Dex gives them to Matsuka.

Dex and Deb takes the next victim of the Trinity killer. Lundy arrives on the scene. Her name is Tarla Grant. Lundy thinks that she is married with two kids. Maybe there were other murders that happened here.

Matsuka gives Dex a ride home. He arrives to a neighborhood watch meeting. He sees that Astor little friend has spray paint on his shoes. He takes his soda can to match with a spray can that he found on his property. They actually match up. That means that Jesse Brightman is the vandal.

There is a matching suicide 30 years ago at the same place. Anton arrives at the station to have lunch with foul-mouthed Deb. They join Dex, and Lundy pops in as well.

LaGuerta and Angel take the opportunity to go out on a case and play hookie. They check up on an old flame of Rhodes. She isn’t home. They find Nikki and Rhodes, who immediately starts firing at them. They both start shooting at them. They return fire and pursue. They get away in a car.

At his house, Dex is trying to catch Jesse in the act. Dex gets spotted by the neighbor hood watch and has to run off. The vandal struck again. It’s getting more dangerous.

Deb can’t believe the evidence that Matsuka has gathered. With the autopsy report, it means that it’s a suicide. LaGuerta wants her to work on another case. Quinn is in Dex’s face. Dex tells him that he doesn’t give a shit that Quinn is dirty.

Dex tells Deb that fear is a powerful motivator. Grant might have been compelled to jump.

Quinn is getting massaged by his topless girl. He makes the mistake of unloading on her, and she is recording this in her mind for a big story.

It turns out that the vandal is Jesse’s father. While he comes back, he breaks the security floodlights that his neighbor installed. Rita sees him.

* * * * *

Relevant Posts

• Dexter Season 1 Review
• Dexter S02E01
• Dexter S02E11
• Dexter S02E12
• Dexter S03E01
• Dexter S03E10
• Dexter S03E11
• Dexter S03E12
• Dexter S04E01
• Dexter S04E02

Dexter stars Michael C. Hall, most known for his role as David in the HBO drama Six Feet Under. Michael C Hall plays Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter specialist working in Miami for the police.

A lot has changed for Dexter this season. He’s married with a new house and he’s got a new baby in the world. It’s taking a toll on our favorite serial killer. He’s messing up at his job because of his lack of sleep.

Season 4 is pretty incredible. Dexter just keeps getting better. It’s been a while since I wrote this and I just didn’t have time to post these, so I decided to do so this week. Here you go!

Warning: Spoilers ahead and strong language.

* * * * *

Dex has an accident with body parts in his car. They are mysteriously gone. What happened? Meanwhile, Angel and LaGuerta are still sleeping together. Quinn is seen by Dex taking some money from a crime scene.

* * * * *

Dex wakes up with first responders getting him out of his car. The highway patrol officers give Dex the meds for Harrison. Dex wonders where his car will go. Dex sustains a concussion. The doc isn’t letting Dex leave. He has to be under observation for 12 hours. Dex leaves the hospital. He needs to stay awake and deal with Benny’s remains.

Angel has to leave before LaGuerta so that they don’t arouse suspicion. They are still sleeping together.

The Trinity Killer has spotted his next victim.

Dex has got to get to Benny’s body. It isn’t in his car. He finds his kill tools though. This means the body was thrown free of the car while it was tumbling. Angel calls him to go onto another murder scene. Another tourist caught a bullet.

If you smell me again, I’ll punch you in the throat.
Deb

LaGuerta tells Angel that she is going to take the lead on the Vacation Killer. She promised it to the mayor.

Dex hallucinates Harry while trying to find Benny’s body parts. Dex is dizzy. The bags aren’t at the accident site. He can’t remember what he did with the body because of his concussion.

Deb tells Lundy that the guy who killed Noonan in ’79 is out of jail. She had him picked up. Lundy wants to tag along.

Quinn opens the victim’s safe and palms a few hundred dollar bills that he found in there. Dex sees him. Dex also finds some blood on a cactus.

Noonan’s convicted killer is Noonan. He copped a plea because the jury was stacked against him. Florida is a death penalty state. Lundy thinks that Noonan didn’t kill his wife. He asks Deb out for dinner to talk about the case. Deb hesitates, because she is seeing Anton tonight, but agrees nonetheless.

Dex arrives at his crime scene and does some cleaning up. He can’t find the body. He goes to the pharmacy. Rita sees Dex’s car. She is shocked. Dex told her that it was a fender bender. Quinn apologizes to Dex for riding his ass about getting his testimony wrong.

The blood on the cactus doesn’t match anything in the database. LaGuerta warns Quinn to keep his mouth shut while he bangs the reporter. Deb asks LaGuerta for advice. She drops by to see Lundy to tell him that she doesn’t want to hook up with him. Lundy tells Deb that the bathtub murders are connected to a series of murders all over the country. He shows her some of the evidence he has amassed. Deb leaves. She feels very embarrassed. Rita and Harrison drop by the precinct. Dex makes a break in the case. He finds an STD in the cactus blood. He cross checks this with the health board and finds a perp, Johnny Rose. Quinn wants to weasel into Dex’s confidence, but Dex has got too much on

Angel didn’t like how LaGuerta took him off the case, so they decide to take a break, but then they don’t. Mastuka has been watching this.

Anton finally comes home.

Lundy calls Dex. He wants to talk about Trinity. Meanwhile, Dex has come back to the boxing ring. Dex says that he can’t tonight. Meanwhile, Trinity finds his next target.

Dex finally finds the body. He drops him in the water. Dex goes home to finally sleep. He immediately gets woken up by Harrison.

* * * * *

Relevant Posts

• Dexter Season 1 Review
• Dexter S02E01
• Dexter S02E11
• Dexter S02E12
• Dexter S03E01
• Dexter S03E10
• Dexter S03E11
• Dexter S03E12
• Dexter S04E01

Dexter stars Michael C. Hall, most known for his role as David in the HBO drama Six Feet Under. Michael C Hall plays Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter specialist working in Miami for the police.

A lot has changed for Dexter this season. He’s married with a new house and he’s got a new baby in the world. It’s taking a toll on our favorite serial killer. He’s messing up at his job because of his lack of sleep.

Season 4 is pretty incredible. Dexter just keeps getting better. It’s been a while since I wrote this and I just didn’t have time to post these, so I decided to do so this week. Here you go!

Warning: Spoilers ahead and strong language.

Dexter is driving around. Harrison isn’t sleeping yet. Meanwhile, a new serial killer is in town. He just got into a girl’s place and stripped naked. When she comes to the bathroom, he chokes her and cuts the femoral artery in the bath. He looks at her dying face with a mirror. The water turns red.

Dexter wakes up very tired. Astor is getting into her teens. Dexter is going to court today. They are living in a new place. Carpools and swimming pools. In court, Dex messes up. He mixed up the names of two perps. This means that his analysis is inadmissible.

Anton and Deb are fooling around. Deb is still going around meeting her father’s old CIs. Quinn is in Dex’s face for messing up. Messing up makes Gomez a target.

They are called to the next case. It was the new killer. Miss Belle was just promoted to sous-chef. Quinn meets a hot reporter. He gives her his number.

Deb is up to her crude self swearing around. Dex is yawning in the lab. He plans on doing some recon on Gomez before going home. He takes photos of his son with his crime scene camera. Julie Benz is so hot that it’s scary. LaGuerta and Angel are hooking up.

At the Lisa Belle crime scene, Dex finds another blood stain. Special Agent Lundy arrives to see Dex. This means that it’s another serial killer. That would be the only reason why Lundy is in town. He wants to drop by the station.

Deb meets one of her dad’s CIs. She didn’t have an affair with her father. Angel gets a new case. He’s not happy with this because it’s going to be a hard one to solve. They’ve got no evidence and no witnesses. It’s just a tourist that was killed.

Dex has found a place to kill Gomez. It’s an abandoned boxing ring. He sets it up but falls asleep while waiting for Gomez. A cop wakes him up. Gomez gets away. Rita wants to have sex. They get woken up by Harrison.

The hot reporter asks Quinn out. Matsuka tells Dex that the blood they discovered doesn’t have any viable DNA. Dex looks up the address and they find that a girl named Vicki Noonan was killed in 1979 the same way that Lisa Belle was killed. At that moment, Lundy appears. He’s retired and needs Dex’s help. The killer is called the Trinity Killer and, as the name implies, he kills in threes. Trinity is back where he started out. He’s come full circle. He’s the most successful serial killer in history.

Dex can’t pick up Morgan at the bar, so he has to get him from his trailer park. He takes him to the boxing ring. Rita calls him to get some medicine for Harrison. Dex has got no time to enjoy this.

On the way home, he falls asleep on the wheel and has an accident with his murder kit in his trunk.

* * * * *

Relevant Posts

• Dexter Season 1 Review
• Dexter S02E01
• Dexter S02E11
• Dexter S02E12
• Dexter S03E01
• Dexter S03E10
• Dexter S03E11
• Dexter S03E12

So I decided that I’m going to do recaps of Gossip Girl episodes.  I figured that I might as well do weekly recaps but I will also periodically write recaps starting from the pilot as I find time to write them.  So, here we go:

The thing that I think a lot of people don’t realize or just aren’t taking into consideration with this season of Gossip Girl is the huge transition that this show is attempting to make.  This show’s high school setting was so important and it really permeated every action and event that occurred, even if it didn’t directly take place in school.  St. Jude’s/Constance Billiard still was so important to the essence of the show.  Now, they have to make this transition to adulthood and into the college world – a whole new world to dictate the show.  Essentially, the writers have to create a whole new show using the same characters and it’s going to take some time to do that.  I’m willing to give them that time because I know that Gossip Girl will go back to being as awesome as it once was.  Currently, the show is at the same point in its life as the characters are, its unsure of where to go and what to do.  It’s a little lost and confused and isn’t sure what it wants to be in the future – just like any college student, especially freshman.  But like most of us, it will eventually find itself.  This is why I am confident that Gossip Girl will succeed and why I am willing to give it the time that it needs in order for it to succeed.

Previously on Gossip Girl: Maureen paid some guy to jump into a river so that Tripp would save him while he pretended to drown so that he would be elected congressman, which he was.  Serena has a crush on Tripp and it is most definitely not one-sided.  She is also working publicity for him and they’ve been flirting while working together even though he is a MARRIED CONGRESSMAN!  Oh, Serena.  Also, Serena had crazy drunk sex with Nate at the Sheppard wedding three years ago.  And Dan, Lizzie, and Fucking Vanessa had a threesome.

Dan is walking down the street basking in the afterglow of his menage trois with Lizzie and Fucking Vanessa in a way that is so very Humphrey and also so hilarious, yet he manages to not be annoying.  How is this possible?

Flashback!  Apparently, Dan keeps a wind machine in his bedroom because Lizzie and Fucking Vanessa are writhing around on top of him while their hair is blowing all crazy like.  It’s important to note that the first person that Dan remembers in the flashback is Fucking Vanessa.  God, she is just awful and I feel like their coupling will be an explosion of pretentiousness.  They’ll get a fucking apartment in Williamsburg, only shop at Whole Foods, listen to Animal Collective, and watch Agnes Varda films together.  Anyway, Dan looks up at them as they unbutton his shirt and then kiss each other.  I will say that this flashback was funny for the sheer ridiculousness of it.  End Flashback!

Dan spins around and actually high fives some random guy.  In a few seconds we’ll learn that the threesome did not occur last night, but more like a week ago.  I am loving the thought that his post-threesome bliss has stretched for this long and that he’s been spinning in circles and high fiving people for that long.  He’s probably been pretty dizzy.

OMG, Serena!  What the fuck are you wearing?  I think that Blake Lively pissed somebody off in wardrobe because they have not been too kind to her this season and were downright cruel to her this episode.  The pantyhose that she is currently wearing are so very awful.  So awful in fact that I’m concerned for Serena’s mental health, which comes into question various times this episode, and her vision, which is apparently quite blurry.  Anyway, Serena is leaving a string of messages on Blair’s voicemail pleading with her that nothing happened between her and Tripp last night.  Really, S?  I’m your biggest fan, and even I realize that you’re kind of a slut.

Flashback!  To last night and also when James Frey references were topical!  Tripp flirts with Serena by tracing his finger up her arm.  End Flashback!

Serena doesn’t want to fight with Blair anymore and really wants her to call her back.  She calls her to leave her message thirty one which brings us to…

Blair and Chuck strolling through the park like the wonderful couple that they are.  Blair refuses to pick up her phone because she doesn’t converse with “liars or Lewinskys.”  Oh, Blair, if you really don’t converse with liars then you would have stopped talking to Serena ages ago.  Girlfriend is pathological.  Chuck doesn’t believe it at first, but Blair recalls how she got the first A++ in Constance history when she saw that her gym teacher was giving Laverne Glazer’s mother the gladeye.  Basically, that she has unparalleled sexual tension radar, which I have to call bullshit on because she couldn’t even figure out that her boyfriend and her best friend had sex, but in theory it would make sense that she does have a great sexual tension radar.  Anyway, Blair is upset that people at NYU don’t care that her ancestors made pumpkin pie at Plymouth Rock and are more concerned with connections to the movie business.  Chuck sympathizes with her over the pretentiousness of the Tisch kids.  In her plight to rule NYU, which is just annoying and ridiculous because this is never ever going to happen, Blair has decided to win over the Tisch kids.  The reason Blair or anybody for that matter could never be queen of NYU is because its not a typical school.  Sporting events are not popular.  There are not many parties (which I know because Columbia is invaded with NYU kids on the weekends looking for parties) and you need to know the right people to get into them.  The student body is not so much connected to each other as they are to New York itself.  I guess that means that the only true way that Blair could take over NYU is to rule all of New York (but then she would become the Man, so that wouldn’t work), but anyway, this whole plot line is so silly and Blair just needs to grow up.  Chuck can’t hang out because he has to show a diplomat’s son around the city in order to expand his business.  Blair promises to sex him up later.

Dan is walking around the Village with Nate and brags to him about his threesome, “Me. [Lizzie]. [Fucking] Vanessa. Two Girls.  Four boobs.  One Dan Humphrey.”  Oh, Dan.  You stupid, stupid, little boy.  Nate is telling Dan just how stupid he is while I pound my fist into my head multiple times as I contemplate the naivete of Dan Humphrey.  Even I know that the other person in a threesome is supposed to be a stranger.  You do not have to be a friend of Chuck Bass (which I am not) or to have gone to Europe to know that (which I have not).  And yet I do know that because it is the number one rule of threesomes.  It is basic knowledge that I was under the impression that everybody knew.  Well, everybody but Dan Humphrey.  Nate tries to explain to him about human feelings and tension and you know BASIC THINGS, but Dan doesn’t hear it.   And then we learn something that is more disturbing than Serena’s pantyhose or the fact that she once dated Aaron Rose, Fucking Vanessa is very vocal during sex.  I think that I just threw up in my mouth.  He also says that Dan is lucky to have both a girlfriend and a girl friend because he, Nate, who is extremely beautiful and attends a school that has a ratio of about four girls to every straight guy does not have a girlfriend or a girl friend.  I call bullshit on his inability to get a girlfriend.  Nate could get a girlfriend whenever the fuck he wanted at Columbia.  Nate, honey, look me up in the directory.  Dan calls Fucking Vanessa over from across the street  where he tells her that he hasn’t seen her much in the past WEEK.  YES, IT’S BEEN A WEEK AND DAN HUMPHREY STILL CAN’T GET OVER THE FACT THAT HE HAD A THREESOME AND IS ACTING LIKE ROSS DID AFTER HE HAD SEX WITH JULIE TWICE ON FRIENDS.  It looks like Fucking Vanessa bought a plaid rainbow Snuggie, cut off the bottom half, and said, “I think that I should wear this creation as a jacket!  Aren’t I cool?”  Oh, fuck you and your plaid rainbow Snuggie jacket.  Anyway, Dan wants to know if she wants to catch the Morrissey show at the Bowery tomorrow and she agrees and then they part ways, whatever.  Okay there is no way that Morrissey tickets are still available, but of course they like Morrissey.  Knowing Dan Humphrey, he probably used to listen to “William, It Was Really Nothing” and cry over Serena and how “true to his life it was.”  Oh god.

Blair goes into the only coffee shop that is around NYU and the annoying Tisch kids are talking about trying to get Lady GaGa to perform at NYU because she is an alumnus.  However, I was under the impression that she never graduated, but I could be wrong about that.  I will say that I absolutely love Lady GaGa.  She is an avant-garde tranny supernova and she cannot be stopped.  You never know what she is going to do next.  I could watch the video for “Bad Romance” over and over and over again because it is just about the greatest thing that my eyes have ever witnessed.  People crawl out of their weird Alien space pod hibernation chambers, they dance around in white bodysuits with crazy hats that cover their faces, she’s drugged by the Russian mafia, there’s a scary hairless cat, there’s a masturbation dance move when she talks about “vertical sticks,” guys wear weird gold chin masks, diamonds freeze in mid-air, she wears the Alexander McQueen armadillo heels, she wears a polar bear cape which then catches on fire, she lies next to Russian mafia guy’s skeleton as FIRE COMES OUT OF HER WEIRD METAL NIPPLE BRA CONTRAPTION THING!  It is magnificent in all of its glory.  Anyway, Blair’s desperation is pathetic as she pleads to be let in on the fairytale cabaret that is being hosted by Paul and “serious theater students.”  Blair tells them that Cyrus Rose (where has he been?) can get Lady GaGa but they don’t believe her.  They should though because Cyrus is a G and he can do anything and he knows everyone.  Anyway, they leave Blair as she continues to be desperate for popularity, and, oh, it is so tiring.

Olivia is on the phone with KC and tells her she doesn’t want to make “Bitches of Eastwick.”  She tells Dan that its like “Heathers with witches.”  Get on that shit now!  I would see that!  Instead of shooting Ich Luge bullets at them, JD will tell Veronica that they’re going to wave wooden sticks and yell “Avada Kedavra” at them because the gibberish will freak them out or something.  And instead of croquet they’ll play quidditch.  And Heather Chandler will accidently be fed a Drought of Living Death rather than a combination of orange juice and butterbeer.  KC is apparently pushing her to take any role now that Endless Knights 4 is not happening but Lizzie McGuire is happy in New York with Dan and Fucking Vanessa (although not so much with that last one, because really who would be happy when that swamp monster popped up?).  But Lizzie, how can you be happy without Gordo?  Dan decides that he wants to apply to the Tisch playwriting program and Lizzie tells him that she’ll help him write a play.  But wait, Dan tells her that he’s going with Fucking Vanessa to see Morrissey at the Bowery because it’s tradition.  She leaves.  Whatever.

Hey everyone!  Jenny needs a date to the Horticultural Society Gala.  Who should it be?  I know who it shouldn’t be.  And that is one Mr. Brad Alexander who gave six girls from Nightingale gonorrhea of the throat.  Wait a minute, is Mr. Brad Alexander secretly Jay Hogart?  How did he get to the UES?  Apparently, Rufus doesn’t know what gonorrhea of the throat is, which makes no sense because he did use to be a rock star with a super catchy song.  Well, maybe that’s why Lily was never able to keep a guy for too long.  Oh, look Chuck Bass.  He could most definitely give Rufus some sexual education.  I didn’t mean it that way.  He has dropped by to bring Lily some papers, which are never explained (hmm…), and he has diplomat’s kid in tow who he is taking to the planetarium, which btw, has a new show (the planetarium, not the kid).  We now get a better look at what appears to be Kevin Zegers who really is much better looking from far away.  But I give him props, he was great in Transamerica and Airbud.  Lily gets the idea that Jenny, because she is tired of high school guys (much like how Taylor Momsen is tired of boys her own age), should escort Kevin Zegers around New York.  She agrees to do it.

Blair runs into Lizzie in the hallway after having looked for her.  As Lizzie is able to infer, she obviously wants something from her because she’s not interesting enough to warrant any attention other than using her for her connections and status.  Or apparently her outlet (so that Dorota can warm Blair’s towels).  I love the idea of Dorota following Blair to college mostly because I love Dorota and she always, always puts a smile on my face with her utter devotion to Blair despite the crazy that is Blair Waldorf.  Blair wants to win over the shallow and superficial Tisch kids, and Lizzie takes offense to the wording and talks to her in this clearly exasperated manner.  Don’t you think that you’re better than Blair, Lizzie!  You dated both Aaron Carter and Joel Madden.  You are in no position to judge anybody.  Anyway, Lizzie sees this as an opportunity to get Dan away from Fucking Vanessa.  I don’t know you guys, but all I can think about is that Lizzie here is Lizzie, Dan is Ethan Craft, and Fucking Vanessa is Kate Sanders, and Serena and Blair are over on Nickelodeon because they’re way too cool for this shit and Lizzie is once again plotting to get Ethan Craft and this is somehow going to involve grape juice.  Lizzie extolls her movie star status as holding a cache at NYU and Blair says that she, “may have read that at the dentist.” HA!  I am back to loving Blair.  You know this whole story line is as painful as a root canal.

We are not at Van Der Bilt headquarters and Tripp sees Serena in his office writing a note.  Wardrobe has once again fucked Serena over with horrible styling. She’s got shoulder pads and a ponybraid.  Seriously, a ponybraid.  Blake Lively has gorgeous hair.  I covet it.  Let it free.  Her hair is being called the new “Rachel” with the number of requests that it receives at salons, you can’t – and you shouldn’t – contain that much magic.  It’s super awkward what with his being completely unprofessional.  Apparently, Serena was leaving him a note and thought that he wouldn’t be there when she was delivering it which technically he wasn’t there until now, but then again it is his office, and Serena has maybe told a lie or two, or three, or a million before so I’m not really sure if she’s telling the truth here.  Well, she wasn’t lying for once because he was supposed to be in a meeting but it ended early.  He’s got this creepy inappropriate dressing her down with his eyes and really enjoying it expression on his face and she’s dressed very inappropriately for work, but as far as Serena van der Woodsen attire goes this is probably one of her most appropriate outfits, the real crime is mainly that it’s ugly.  Anyway, Tripp is moving to DC early for the holidays so he can hobnob with politicians and make connections.  Blah blah blah.  And then he tells her that its for the best because he’s been pretty distracted.  Stop right there!  She is 18 years old!  You are at least 25 if you are a Congressman!  However, I would probably disregard this if it weren’t for the fact that you are a married CONGRESSMAN!  A CONGRESSMAN who is a Democrat and we Dems really just can’t afford the scandal at a time like this when we’ve already screwed up health care in our insane search for bipartisanship to the point where its as watered down as New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.  Serena agrees about the distraction and says that nothing happened – and what is Tripp’s response to this?  ”Then why does it feel like it did?” in a super smirky manner.  Ugh, when did you get so gross and smarmy?  He’s like his character in Next to Normal, in how he feeds off the souls of innocent women.  I will use this as an excuse for Serena because I don’t know why else she would behave in this completely reckless and irresponsible way – a way that is way past her usual standards of retardation (and please remember that I say this out of deep affection for S is my favorite).  Serena suggests that they don’t see each other.  Maureen walks in and tells Tripp that she has to do something and can’t help finishing the packing, whatever, this is awkward.  However, I think that Maureen knows.  Seriously, this woman is not stupid.  She is conniving and manipulative.  She’s an older version of Blair Waldorf with red hair and she’d need to have the sexual tension radar of Fucking Vanessa (we’ll get to that later) not to notice that her husband has been giving Serena a perpetual gladeye and can’t stop being completely unprofessional and inappropriate.  For their credit, neither Tripp nor Serena seem comfortable with this idea but they don’t outright shoot it down  - which they clearly should.  Maureen has Tripp take her out to brunch.  Sounds delicious because brunch is truly the greatest contribution to society by WASPs.

Nate is in the Hotel Empire and is talking to his mother on his cell phone about how she may love her father but he’s manipulating her because, as we have seen, that is the van der Bilt way.  You know what Nate, you really should just stay in the Columbia dorms.  Freshman dorms are actually not that bad.  If you want a single, Furnald has lovely rooms.  If you want a double, Carman is quite spacious and has great sound-proofing (although it can’t block out Taylor Swift music).  It’ll save you money so that you can then spend it on whatever you use to make your hair so pretty and those v-neck sweaters that you wear that make you so sexy.  Anyway, he tells his mom that it was his grandfather that orchestrated the Hudson Hero incident and then Serena walks through the door so he wraps up his conversation with her by telling her that he doesn’t want to hear her new information.  That must be the information about Maureen.  Oh well.  Serena confesses to Nate that she thinks that she’s about to get involved with a married man and Nate is the only one that she can talk to about it.  And its Tripp.  I will once again defend Serena here because the argument that Nate is the best person to go to in this case is technically sound as he has had an affair with a married woman, Lady Catherine, who was connected to politics, hence the Lady portion of her name.  Even though the Lords don’t really have that much power any more besides wealth and connections.  Nate sighs very beautifully as he contemplates the ball of stupid that is standing in front of him in the form of one, Serena van der Woodsen.

Lizzie walks back into her dorm room and Fucking Vanessa is there.  Apparently, Lizzie has been avoiding Fucking Vanessa.  Maybe it’s not because of the threesome that she’s avoiding her, maybe it’s because she just realized that her roommate is Vanessa Fucking Abrams.  Lizzie is super passive-aggressive when she says that she and Dan have been super busy.  We get it.  Lizzie swears that she’s not avoiding her because of the threesome and Fucking Vanessa accepts it and says that Dan is the same old Dan so everything’s fine (I swear to god the sexual tension radar on this girl is completely non-existent).  Lizzie breaks the news that she signed she and Dan up for the Bleeker Inn Cabaret a month ago so they cannot go to the Morrissey show.  Oh, no, but Fucking Vanessa had her black skinny jeans, Smiths t-shirt, Converse All-Stars, and black eyeliner all picked out and ready to go.  Now she has to go cry in the corner.  Lizzie guilt trips Fucking Vanessa into giving in by telling her that this is great exposure for Dan to get into Tisch.

Nate doesn’t understand.  Ah, Nate it’s so good that you’re so pretty because you’re really not that smart.  Then again he does bring up an excellent point when he says that two months ago Serena was all over Carter Baizen and now she’s all over Tripp.  However, I think it’s pretty obvious that Serena has been fucked up beyond belief by Lily’s lazy susan of men, the lack of a paternal figure, and the rejection by her father.  She is beyond damaged and has extremely low self-esteem.  She needs to be told that she’s an amazing person by men because she never got that from her father or any other man her mother has been with so she feels that she has no value to them other than as a sexual object because the only man who has ever told her that he loved her was Dan Humphrey and he doesn’t anymore.  So, Serena needs a man at all times to tell her that she has value.  It’s rather tragic.  Nate tells her what she needs to hear, which is that Tripp has worked very hard to get where he is and that many people, including Nate himself, have made sacrifices for him.  But could Serena care?  No, because Tripp finds her beautiful and he can talk to her easily, and this reaffirms that maybe, she does have value.  But, oh, Serena, you truly are a wonderful person and you don’t need a man to tell you that.  She says that she can hear her heart beat in her chest around Tripp, which I could totally understand if he sang to her because Aaron Tveit has an incredible voice, and that she hasn’t felt this way since Jude Law in Alfie, which, ew.  Jude Law is gross.  Also, as annoying as Dan and Serena could be at times with all of their on again/off again bullshit, it doesn’t really make sense that she skipped over him straight to Jude Law, because like I said Jude Law is gross and while Dan Humphrey can be gross, he is not even close to being as completely disgusting as Jude Law is.  Also, Jude Law throws oranges at the dorm windows of unsuspecting NYU freshman.  Classy!  Also, I think that Serena was the only person to see Alfie.  Nate tells her to grow the fuck up, and she gets very irritating and annoying by throwing the Sheppard wedding in his face and basically not listening to a word that he is saying because he doesn’t agree with her because he shouldn’t.  God, Serena, this is not all about you.  Nate apologizes and tells her that she can count on him always.

So Damian (Kevin Zegers) is from Belgium.  Jenny thinks that they must have really good waffles and that her family is really into waffles.  This is where I agree with Jenny because I harbor a passionate love for all things waffle.  Damian’s father worked on the Oslo Accord.  It sounds like Jenny knows what that is, but it turns out that she doesn’t but she does understand that it sounds “major.”  How in the fuck did Jenny get into Constance?  She’s dumber than Serena, yet couldn’t hold a candle to her charisma-wise or looks-wise.  This is a mystery.  Kevin Zegers looks like a troll from close-up.  He needs to be shot from a distance.  Damian has a plan that will be “fun.”  The Chapin mean girls die of jealousy over Damian because they also have no taste and then Damian goes to get a toy sailboat which Jenny protests because that’s not cool in Manhattan.  The mean girls laugh.

Paul is being douchey and is telling everybody that they have 8 hours to rehearse, that there will be alumni and faculty in the audience, and that his agent will be there.  He pleads with them not to embarrass him, but honestly he himself is already an embarrassment considering just how fantastically pretentious and douchey he truly is.  As Dan is contemplating which fairytale to do, Blair arrives and says that they will be doing Snow White and also that she will produce, act, and direct in the production.  She tells him that they will be doing a Snow White Lady Gaga musical.  Yes, you heard that right.  That’s a train wreck of an idea that could have been so much better in a terrible sort of way if it hadn’t been Dan Humphrey writing it.  She runs off to pick Paul’s brain because he loves him some GaGa.  Of course he does and this is because he is gay.  Dan complains about Blair and Lizzie reiterates that her idea is ridiculous, but if you’re gonna go GaGa you might as well make it ridiculous.  Lizzie says that if Dan pulls it off everybody will be talking and that she talked to Vanessa and she’s cool with not going to see Morrissey.

So, Jenny is calling Chuck to tell him that she is bored with Damian and that Chuck needs to get him off her hands.  Then Damian reveals that he deals ecstasy and that he used the boats in order to deal drugs.  They head off to lunch.

Dan is talking to Nate on the phone and they’re just basically recapping all that has gone down threesome -wise besides Lizzie or Fucking Vanessa (ZING!).  Nate explains what’s up because he’s like this show’s equivalent of Loveline now.  He tells Dan that he has to convince Lizzie that he and Vanessa are just friends who’ve seen each other naked.  Okay, so where exactly does that fall on the friends with benefits line?  Nate gets off the phone to talk to Serena about Dan’s girl problems.  Nate and Serena joke about how everyone’s sexual problems fall within Nate’s areas of expertise.  It really is cute and it endears me to them as a couple, not quite as much as later, but it’s a cute exchange.  Nate hands Serena a phone which looks very much like the phone my sister had that she absolutely hated.  It astonishes me that Nate would have that cheap phone when he could get something super cool like an iPhone, which is much more his age.  She calls Tripp and he asks her what she likes on her pizza, which, whatever, it’s not like he actually plans on eating pizza with her.  Serena tells him she’s not coming over.  Good job Serena!  Tripp tells her he’s disappointed.  Well, I’m disappointed in you Tripp and your sudden lack of ethics and morality, we can’t all be happy all the time.  Tripp asks to meet for lunch which is a terrible idea because Serena is a Page Six socialite and you are a congressman.  One compromising photo could wreck everything.  Serena is about to cave but Nate shakes his head no.  She turns him down and Nate congratulates her on her efforts and tells her that he isn’t going to let her out of his sights until Tripp leaves.  The maid comes in to tell Tripp that Nate’s mom is there to see him about some important information.  This must be the Maureen thing.  Goddamn, Nate’s mom ruins everything.

Dan goes to Fucking Vanessa to apologize for Morrissey and lets it slip that Lizzie only signed them up that day.  Oops.  I guess Lizzie forgot that her boyfriend was Dan Humphrey and that he will screw everything up…and then blame it on you regardless of whether or not something is your fault.  Dan tells her about how big of an opportunity it is for him and how he needs Fucking Vanessa’s help.

Dan throws his script down and drops all of this thematic bullshit, but really its just a Snow White Lady GaGa musical.  He tells Blair that she plays the aging queen because he’s an asshole.  But to Blair’s credit, she takes this in stride.  However, the role does make perfect sense considering that Blair’s days as queen are done and she’s desperately trying to hold onto them.  So, that role is actually perfect for her.  Lizzie will be Snow White, although Blair has the looks for it, who is basically just going to be sexy.  Dan, we’re talking about Lizzie McGuire here, she just can never be sexy.  Did you see the episode where she decided to be a vegan and only wore burlap?  Tell me she’s sexy after watching that.  Try it.  I dare you.  ”Amalia, Sophie, Twins” Heh.  Those four just aren’t even close to being as amazing and fabulous as Penelope, Hazel, Iz, and Nelly Yuki.  They can try but they will never, ever achieve a fraction of their greatness.  They will be a dwarf boy band.  Dan fancies himself Prince Charming because he is gross and Blair criticizes his sub-par acting, which, yes, the voices he puts on are ridiculous and he is a terrible actor which we learned courtesy of Georgina, and wants to meet everyone later to work on the play.  Dan tells her that he found a more experienced director to which Blair exclaims, “Julie Taymor?!” No, but that would be so great.  I would love, love, love to see a Julie Taymor/Lady GaGa production and Taymor is in New York working on the Spiderman musical, so Blair could theoretically be right except for the fact that Dan’s play sucks and Julie Taymor would laugh in the direction of his magnificent cheekbones.  Nope, it’s Fucking Vanessa and both Blair and Lizzie are very upset regarding this prospect.

Lizzie gets all territorial on Fucking Vanessa’s ass and is all like, “OMG FV, I totally forgot that you would be so perfect bringing the magic that is Dan Humphrey to life.”  Then Fucking Vanessa is like, “He already showed me bitch.  He always shows me his work.  How you like them apples?”  Dan tells her he showed her to get her on board.  Then Lizzie says, “Great, that’s so awesome, well, if you need help.  I’ve worked with some of the best directors in the whole wide world because I’m a super famous movie star.”  And then Fucking Vanessa actually has a somewhat good  comeback, “Sure, if I want to turn anybody into a bat, I’ll let you know.”  It’s bitchy and as fabulous as she can be, but Blair is not happy because the apparent irresistibility of Dan is getting in the way of her cabaret, although she does throw in this weird thing about menstrual cycles which had to be written by a man because it didn’t really make sense in context.

Damian is asking Jenny what an UES queen does.  Well, duh, Damian they…uh, wait what do they do?  It means that she gets to go to parties and openings while wearing designer clothes and bossing people around.  He finds that boring.  I think it sounds fun.  He deals drugs.  I don’t.  Therefore, my judgment wins and I am right.  She says it may sound boring compared to being an international drug dealer.  I don’t know about that, because if I had the choice of running into Don Corleone or Tyra Banks and the Kardashians, I would take Don Corleone over that giant forehead  and ass any day of the week.  I’m just saying.  She points out that he doesn’t need the money because his dad is an ambassador.  He basically says that privileges mean that their bags don’t get checked and also he’s an asshole who wants to see his father suffer if he gets caught.  Jesus, why does everybody on this show have daddy issues?  Seriously, every single one has fucked up asshole parents or their parents are retarded and are in their 40s, yet still don’t know what a blowjob is.  He tries to Chuck Bass it up, but he can’t because he doesn’t have the charm or sex appeal, by saying that a little danger is always needed.  And that Jenny just lived dangerously.  No she didn’t.  She watched you play with a toy boat.  She agrees it was thrilling.  Liar – you said you were bored.  He invites her to a drug deal later that night.

Serena and Nate are walking through Central Park and Serena was talking about how high school was so much easier because she wasn’t attracted to married men.  No, but you were attracted to Dan Humphrey, a greasy artist, a con man, Carter Baizen, and countless other men we don’t know about, and you were convinced that you killed a guy for awhile so I don’t really see how life after high school has become that much easier.  Is it really that difficult to keep yourself away from Tripp’s loins?  Is he just that hot and sexy?  The answer here is no.  I rank him below Dan Humphrey and Carter Baizen, but above con man and greasy artist.  Nate makes a totally endearing and wonderful Freudian slip when he says, “Well, who isn’t?”  And then clarifies not men.  Oh Nate, we know all about your rendezvous with Chuck Bass.  You know the one that you taped?  Serena does that awesome laugh that Blake Lively has.  They have a very cute endearing scene where she mentions how Lady Catherine was her first experience being a fake girlfriend.  Now I know that we are talking about Madchen Amick here, but I will never not associate “Lady Catherine” with Lady Catherine de Burgh of Pride & Prejudice.  All I can think of is Nate Archibald and Judi Dench and it kind of grosses me out like that guy at the end of Harold & Maude who speaks of Harold’s young body and Maude’s sagging flesh joining together in union.  Oh, god.  I think that I just threw up again.  They laugh about how she’s become a prostitute which is oh so funny and Nate tells her that she was a great fake girlfriend.  Serena gets ice cream on her face and they laugh and laugh because they are adorable and then he wipes it off her face and then she gets a phone call.  It’s Tripp.  Oh shit.  Serena asks what she should do.  Is she that stupid?  Nate tells her not to talk to him at all until he leaves for Washington and Serena asks him if he will tie her up.  I didn’t know you were into that.  No, he is going to take her on a bar crawl and get her super drunk.  I think that the last time that they got super drunk together, they ended up having sex, so maybe that tying up thing is going to happen.  She agrees and tells him he’s the best, and that’s because Nate Archibald is the best, and then she gives him a hug (a very friendly hug).  Nate gets this look like, “Now that you have wrapped your arms around me the gravitational force of your magical vagina that ensnares men has made me fall in love with you.”

Play rehearsal where Snow White succumbs to an appletini before an audition or performance whatever.  Then “LoveGame” starts up and the dwarves come out to dance in front of Lizzie.  Lizzie complains that the dwarves are blocking her, but Fucking Vanessa is actually super awesome in this scene and tells her that the scene is “all about the dwarves.”  It’s so funny in its delivery.  Dan takes Lizzie’s side and says that it is Snow White even though Fucking Vanessa is the director.  And then Lizzie actually says, “Boxing me out is one of [Fucking] Vanessa’s favorite activities.”  Shit, this is good.  And now we’re just talking about Lizzie’s and Fucking Vanessa’s boxes which is so great and so much fun to talk about on network television.  I’m really not sure how they got through this scene because I know that whenever I speak in double entendres I start to speak in a really weird deep husky voice and then laugh hysterically.  Maybe this is because I am five.

Flashback! Threesome!  Lizzie is on top of Dan and is making out with him and then [Fucking] Vanessa continues to actually be awesome and full on pushes Lizzie to the ground as she jumps Dan’s bones.  It’s so slapstick and unrealistic but so great to watch Fucking [Awesome] Vanessa tackler her like a linebacker and to hear the thud as Lizzie hits the ground.  That’s for making us watch those scenes of Fleur!  End Flashback!

Lizzie accuses Fucking [Awesome] Vanessa of being in love with Dan and Amalia backs her up on that.  Dan says that that’s crazy but he says it in this tone like, “Well, how could anybody possibly not fall in love with the hunk of manmeat known as Dan Humphrey aka Myself?  I am perfect in every way you could ever imagine.  The question is not: are you in love with Dan Humphrey? It is: are you ready for my jelly?  [Fucking] Vanessa, can you handle it?  Because I don’t think that you can handle it.”  Lizzie and Fucking Vanessa quit and then Blair uses that “unparalleled sexual tension radar” and asks innocently if those three idiots had a threesome?  Because apparently she was not able to infer that they did from all of the box talk and anvil like hints that have been falling around her the past day.  Then she realizes that she did and she throws up in her mouth like we all did and then repeats what we ALL know.  THE THIRD PERSON IS SUPPOSED TO BE A STRANGER!  Jesus Christ, Dan Humphrey.  I just will not get over how he somehow was unaware of this rule that everybody knows and everybody knows this rule for a reason.  Dan thinks that the powers of his words will make both girls love him like he’s fucking Socrates or something.  Blair points out the obvious about how the order in which he goes to comfort them could potentially make things worse and there’s nothing he can do, but because she is Blair and is obsessed with being queen she sees this as an opportunity for blackmail.  Now, I love me some Blair blackmail, but honestly, Blair needs to grow the fuck up.  I feel like the only people who have actually grown up on this show are Chuck and Nate and that the rest of them have regressed into infancy.  Jesus.  And then Gossip Girl actually says, “Uh oh, playwright.  Better whip out your pen.  Looks like this cabaret just became a one man show.”  Ew.  I don’t want to think about Dan masturbating.  Am I going to need to watch Gossip Girl with a trash can in front of myself so that I don’t have to keep running to the restroom everytime I have to barf, which seems to be about every ten seconds?

Blair is blackmailing Lizzie and Fucking Vanessa.  She says she’ll spill to the gossip rags that Lizzie had a threesome with Dan Humphrey and Fucking Vanessa and this will make her tween fans very, very upset.  This is not that unrealistic.  I’m sure that there are plenty of little girls out there who would freak the fuck out if they found out that Kristen Stewart had a threesome with people that did not include either R. Pattz or Taylor Lautner (but mostly R. Pattz).  Think the Justin Bieber incident in Long Island, but a million times worse.  Yeah, basically World War III.  She tells Fucking Vanessa that she will tell everybody that she’s going to ruin her whole “Fuck the man, fuck fame, because I’m so cool and alternative” persona that makes her so cool at NYU by telling everybody that she is a starfucker.  That’s pretty funny.  I think that the word “starfucker” is so much greater than the sum of its parts.  I want to use it as much as possible.  Blair is going to tell TMZ, Gossip Girl, and the town crier in wherever the fuck it is that Fucking Vanessa’s parents live in Vermont.  Although, would they really care?  Fucking Vanessa could totally spin this in a really annoying way about freedom to love who you want and however you want or something and her parents may believe it.  That’s what I would do if her parents were my parents.

Nate and Serena doing shots.  Apparently, Nate bullshitted Alcohol Edu along with the rest of us Columbia freshmen.  They talk about how they haven’t done this since the Sheppard wedding.  Oh, are they going to have crazy drunken sex on the bar?  Because, seriously, that flashback! sex is absolutely insane in a way that the threesome flashback! sex only wishes that it could be.  Serena laughs when he suggests that maybe they should sober up so something doesn’t happen because he has been sucked into her vagina’s gravitational pull.  She says she can control herself if he can, because Serena is a master at self-control, well, actually she is – as long as it doesn’t concern sex.  After all, she is best friends with Blair Waldorf.  Nate gets a call from Tripp who tells him that Maureen was the person behind Hudson Hero.  Tripp begins to apologize to Nate for letting him take the fall for the incident, but like the wonderful human being that Nate Archibald is, he doesn’t care about that and only cares about how Tripp is feeling.  You guys, I think may now be in love with Nate Archibald, which is so weird because he used to so blah and wishy-washy and now he’s like perfect.  And really, really hot.  With fabulous hair.  And lots of money.  Tripp is angry and doesn’t want to see Maureen again.  Nate shows his political instincts by telling him that Maureen is his wife and that a separation this early in his term could affect re-election.  Seriously, congressmen are in such a precarious place because two years is such a short time.  It’s got to affect the decisions of our congressmen more so than our senators.  Nate tells Tripp where he is and tells him to hang in there.  Serena asks if it was Dan.  Nate lies, like the politician that he is, and jokes about how Dan has the most complicated love life and then takes Serena up on the drinks.  They look like they’re having a really good time.  And they are both extraordinarily gorgeous.  It makes me feel super inadequate and unattractive.  I feel like if you walked by them on the street you would have to look away for fear that you would be blinded by their beauty.  I want Nate and Serena to hook up just so that I could see their gorgeous, gorgeous offspring and then put them in a museum or a zoo which I guess is like putting them on the cover of US Weekly after shelling out $1 million for their baby pictures.

Lady GaGa’s “Dancing in the Dark” is playing!  Another awesome song from Lady GaGa who I hated for so long and then suddenly fell in love with.  There’s something mysterious and crazy about Lady GaGa that makes her so intriguing.  Maybe it’s because she might be a dude.  Jenny’s at a club with Damian and they are going to do a drug deal there but Damian can tell that Jenny is uncomfortable.  However, Jenny has to be cool, and also stupid, so she decides to stay even though she clearly doesn’t want to.  ”Dancing in the Dark” makes perfect sense here because it’s about doing things in order to please a man, which Jenny is totally doing here.  Like the woman in the song, Jenny is shamed into doing something that she doesn’t want to do.  I love the musical direction on this show so much.

We’re at NYU and there’s a terrible Little Red Riding Hood play being performed where the wolf is fondling Little Red Riding Hood and she basically talks about his erection.  Whatever, this episode makes NYU students look so untalented it’s a crime.  I don’t really know anybody at NYU and I’ve never seen a production there, but I’m going to stick up for them and say that there’s no way that they can be this untalented.  I mean, if Dan’s play is the highlight, they must have no talent.  And that just can’t be true.  Dan is freaking out that they won’t show, but of course they will because this is Gossip Girl and Dan has to have a revelation and he can’t unless somebody other than Blair spells it out for him in front of his face.  Also, there’s more drama if both of them come, but I highly doubt that Dan is that good in bed.  They both arrive (not in that way) and Blair leaves to go set something up for Paul.  Lizzie basically tells him that he’s in love with Fucking Vanessa and that he looks at her in a way that he’s never looked at Lizzie.  She mentions some kiss and Dan tells her that it was nbd, but Lizzie says that it was because he knows what she’s talking about.  That’s strange logic.  She tells Dan to stop kidding himself.  I think that the writers should stop kidding themselves because Dan and Fucking Vanessa have no chemistry at all.  Seriously, that is one boring and obnoxiously pretentious relationship that is coming our way and I really, really am not looking forward to that shit.

This play is a disaster.  It is so bad.  And not even in a so bad that it’s good kind of way.  I can’t even transcribe this crap because its not even funny in a terrible, “I’m so excited!  I’m so excited!  I’m so…scared” or Showgirls kind of way.  Dan has the same voice as he had when he was in that Age of Innocence play except less British.  LoveGame plays for no reason and Lizzie sings it poorly and really sadly as Dan looks on all contemplative.  I don’t know how many times I can write this is stupid, but it is.

Back to the drug deal.  Damian is making the deal and the guy who’s buying keeps rubbing Jenny’s thigh and she keeps batting it off.  God, this reminds me of many a quincenera that I have been to.  I don’t understand why guys do that when it you clearly demonstrate that you don’t want them to.  It’s disgusting.  Jenny wants to leave but Damian asks her to try the product before she goes and is handing her two pills.  Chuck then shows up and takes the pills out of his hands as he explains that he searched Damian’s room and found the drugs and then found out where they were going.  Chuck tells Jenny that he’s taking her home and he tells Damian to have him and his father cleared out by noon the next day.  Jenny says she’s fine and Damian reiterates that “Dude, she’s fine.”  Then Chuck brings it home with his bad self and says, “Dude, I’m Chuck Bass.  Even Europeans must know what that means.”  That line never gets old no matter how many times he says it.  Ed Westwick says that line with such relish and such disgust at the second part of that line and just knocks it out of the park.  I love Chuck Bass even if he is super sleazy and once tried to rape stupid Jenny and fabulous Serena, who only wanted a grilled cheese sandwich with truffle oil, in the same episode.  He takes Jenny with him and they leave.  I love how Chuck has matured so much and how he’s integrated himself into the van der Woodsen-Humphrey family so that he acts like a brother to Serena, Eric, and Jenny.  It’s such a wonderful change and it’s what I think was missing from Chuck at the beginning of the series.  Yes, he was wildly entertaining, but he wasn’t a good guy, but now he’s grown up with the love and support of his family, something that he didn’t get before his father’s death.  I want to congratulate the writers for their work with Chuck Bass because his transformation has been done so well (besides the Elle/Eyes Wide Shut plot) and I must also give credit to Ed Westwick for his portrayal of Chuck.

Back to Dan’s shit play.  It seems that Lizzie has bailed.  Dan makes some erectile disfunction jokes about discosticks while the dwarves sing “LoveGame” some more.  However, I think that this play needs a little “Paper Gangsta,” “Paparazzi,” “Poker Face,” “Monster,” “Bad Romance,” “So Happy I Could Die,” and “Dance in the Dark.”  It seems to only include “LoveGame,” which I love, but it’s not the only Lady GaGa song there is.  Blair pushes Fucking Vanessa out on stage who covers with a stupid plastic surgery joke.

Okay, I love this scene you guys.  At least the first part of it.  Until a certain third wheel shows up.  Ugh.  Nate confesses to Serena that it took him a long time to get over what happened at the Sheppard wedding.  He tells her that he told Jenny Humphrey that he loved her at the masked ball thinking that she was Serena because she was wearing Serena’s mask.  Serena is shocked that he loved her.  It’s heartbreaking that she is so shocked that Nate loved her, because I don’t think that any man has ever loved Serena.  Dan loved one aspect of Serena, but couldn’t reconcile with or bring himself to love Old Serena, which is still a part of New Serena.  He loved an idealized Serena and couldn’t deal with the realities of actually dating Serena van der Woodsen.  Carter, possibly truly loved Serena, but I still see him as loving the Old Serena, not so much the New Serena.  Even when they reconnected earlier this season she was already on her descent into crazy, doing body shots off Prince Harry and Cristiano Ronaldo (fabulous choices btw) and doing anything to get her absent daddy’s attention.  And once again this goes back to the fact that her father completely abandoned her which has majorly fucked her up, as well as the endless cycle of disposable father figures that Lily brought home and put above her children.  But Nate loved her when she was Old Serena, he loved her after she came back and had changed into New Serena, and he loves her now when she’s somewhere in between the two.  That’s why I’ve switched allegiances to Serenate, because Nate actually loves Serena.  He loves all of Serena – everything that makes her sparkle as well as all of her flaws.  And then he says, “Course I did.  Serena, you’re the most beautiful, amazing, alive person I’ve ever known.”  He sounds like he’s going to cry.  Oh my god.  As soon as that moment happened I immediately hated Stripp and found it selfish, disgusting, and inappropriate.  Before, I was all for it because I love a good scandal and some drama and I can’t deny that the two have a nice sexual chemistry, but as soon as I saw that interaction, I developed an instant hatred for Stripp.  I want to commend both Chace Crawford for really selling Nate’s pining for Serena and for truly making me feel like he loves her and also Blake Lively because she plays off of Chace very nicely in this scene and really shows how lost Serena truly is and they’re both really heartbreaking.  Just as they lean in to kiss, Tripp shows up.  ASSHAT!  NO!  He asks if he’s interrupting.  Yes, Tripp, you very much are.  Tripp stares at the two of them with kind of a shocked, sad look on his face.

Shit play.  Dan comes out to wake up Fucking Vanessa by kissing her.  Blair hilariously pops up in the mirror to tell him to kiss her.  Some lady in the audience yells at him to kiss her.  Right, she’s that fucking into this shit play to yell at him to kiss her.  Lies.  He begins to kiss her.

Flashback!  After fucking Fucking Vanessa, Dan kisses her for a long time. End Flashback!

The kiss ends.  Fucking Vanessa wakes up and asks him what the fuck it is that he’s doing.  Shit play ends.  Blair is being congratulated by Paul who offers his input if Dan plans on applying to the playwriting program at Tisch.  Blair tells them all that she has a surprise for them.  Blair tells them all to follow her.

Back to Brandy Library where Nate is looking so sad as Serena is talking to Tripp about the state of his relationship with Maureen, his wife, who may be a lying liar who lies, but is still his wife.  Serena can’t believe it and asks if he’s talked to her about it.  He has.  She admitted it.  She asks how he is.  Nate looks sick.  He says that his wife isn’t who he thought she was and neither is his marriage.  Oh, come on, you’ve been after Serena for the past few weeks now.  This is just an excuse.  Maybe Serena can’t tell because she’s retarded and inebriated, but the viewing audience is most likely neither of those things so we know it’s just an excuse to get in Serena’s pants…or ugly pantyhose.  Then Tripp acts like the biggest asshat the world has ever seen and thanks Nate for being so understanding and for being such a good friend for helping him get through this.  My poor, beautiful Nate is so, so devastated as Serena asks him if he knew about this.  And then Tripp says, oh my god, it’s so infuriating, “Look Serena, I don’t know anything anymore.  I just know that I don’t want to be alone.  Can we take a walk?”  NO!  Now I know that Serena’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard because, as I can clearly see on my television and as I have seen in person, it is most definitely better than ours.  But he is pulling a Daniel Plainview and drinking my lovely Nate’s milkshake.  And because he is married he really needs to know when to say no to the milkshake, both literally and figuratively (did you know that a milkshake at In-N-Out has the same amount of saturated fat as three Double-Doubles?  I almost had a heart attack when I read that thinking of how many milkshakes and Double-Doubles that I’ve had.).  And if he really can’t stand being around his wife or touching her, then he should make like Morrissey and swear off the milkshake, not just Serena’s, but all milshakes.  Serena decides to go with him.  It’s probably because he’s got something shiny and is luring her to him with it.  Nate grabs her and tells her that he didn’t tell her about Maureen because Tripp is married.  And he’s a congressman.  Do you want to become a Monica Lewinsky because Maureen is totally a Hillary Clinton and she will beat the living crap out of you.  Maybe she won’t kill you physically, but she’ll do it in some other way because she is a devious one.  She probably knows Nancy Pelosi, but then again, I don’t think that Pelosi could legitimately do anything to Serena because she has way too many gay men in her district to do anything to Serena.  I don’t know, maybe Maureen can get Olympia Snow or something so that Olympia can continue to feel as though she’s super important.  Even Nate knows that Serena is going to have sex with Tripp if she leaves with him.  Serena thanks him and then tells him that the line got a little blurry.  Serena, honey, would you like my glasses?  Because I can see that line, and you have crossed it and I don’t think that it’s blurry at all.  Well, at least she’s a polite, near-sighted whore.  Serena leaves with Tripp.  NO, SERENA!  You disappoint me, child.  I weep for you and your lost ways.

Blair leads Paul through a corridor as we hear “Bad Romance” starting up in the background.  I flove this song.  I have floved it ever since I first heard it about three weeks to a month ago.  Cyrus Rose use to play poker with Lady GaGa!  ”Poker Face” is about Cyrus Rose!  Even though I know that the song is about being attracted to women while dating a man, I will forget that I know that because I would love to only look at this song literally and pretend that it’s about Cyrus Rose.  When is he coming back? (Spoiler Alert: Next episode!)  She lets them in on her dress rehearsal.  And then the Lady pops out in all of her glory from behind a door as “Bad Romance” is clearly playing but she is clearly not singing it, as though I really care, because she is wearing a dress with a 40 foot train and is being carried around by super muscular men and there are ladders.  It doesn’t compare to her music video, but it’s not horrible.  Lizzie tells Dan that she abandoned the play because she needed him to kiss Fucking Vanessa.  Which he did.  And then it goes into very The Notebook/chick flick territory: “You had to kiss her so that you could realize your twue love for [Fucking] Vanessa.”  She tells him that she took Bitches of Eastwick.  YES!  Finally, something I can get onboard with when it comes to Lizzie.  Lizzie, darling, I will be there.  Please don’t fuck up the Veronica part that I’m sure that you are taking or I will fake your suicide and underline the word “eskimo” in Moby Dick.  Lizzie says she’ll be back in the fall.  Fucking Vanessa comes up to apologize for being awesome (don’t apologize, it’s the only time that I liked you!) and that they can’t pretend that they didn’t all see each other naked.  She also hasn’t liked Dan in years as anything other than a friend and that’s probably because Blair Waldorf frightened those feelings out of her when she threatened her to stay away from Serena’s boyfriend, namely, Dan.  She also thinks Paul likes her.  Now that is where she’s wrong.  This girl really needs a tune-up on her gaydar because this is the second guy who she hasn’t realized is gay who most definitely is.  Lizzie leaves and Dan looks strange as he is thinking about his feelings.  But what’s more interesting is Lady GaGa who is currently pretending to be a matador up on stage.

van der Woodsen penthouse.  Chuck tells Jenny that she’s better than Damian which is both sweet and the truth.  Jenny says that she may be queen, but she’s more bored than when she was in Brooklyn.  How in the fuck can you be bored in Manhattan?  There’s a million things to do and when you stop worrying about how everything is going to make you look and just do what you want to do, you’ll realize that you’re having the time of your life.  She says that it was exciting and Chuck adds dangerous.  He understands because he’s Chuck Bass and he tells her that he recognizes those same impulses inside of him in her eyes and that he always has, but if she goes down the rabbit hole in search of danger, Blair Waldorf and her minions are not going to be able to save her.  Jenny condescends and goes back to her room while Chuck watches her and the music cues up again.

Serena is in Tripp’s house.  The way that Tripp is looking at the wall in his house and contemplating looks completely ridiculous with the music.  This is a case where the music should work, but it is actually hysterical.  Serena saunters over in a way that is kind of clod-like, which is odd, because normally she has so much grace when she walks.  She grabs his face and asks if he’s okay.  He grabs her shoulders and then they kiss.  NO!  NO!  NO!  Serena, don’t make me hate you!  Because you know how I love you so.  I see that we are going to have a love/hate relationship this season.

Jenny texts Damian back that it was fun dealing drugs with him and she wants to do it again.  Apparently, his last name is Dalgaard.  I believe that’s a Swedish name, not a Belgian name.  Get your facts right show unless he was the Swedish ambassador to Belgium and that’s why he worked on the Oslo Accord, because he’s Swedish.  I don’t know.  I’m fanwanking.  He gets the text and smiles

Nate sits alone at the bar at Brandy Library wishing that he were Tripp and that Serena would love him.  Oh Nate, Serena doesn’t deserve you.  Now, if you had told me that I would say that two seasons ago or even one season ago, I would have laughed in your face.

GaGa throws rose petals into the audience as she finishes the song.  Fucking Vanessa flirts with Paul and Dan looks on because he is “jealous” and “wants Fucking Vanessa.”  HA!  GaGa then finishes the song, gets under a fallen ladder and is covered by her dress.  And that’s a wrap.

Well, I look forward to the next episode because it should be filled with drama and spectacle.  Hopefully, we’ll begin to see the dissolution of Stripp because I’m really looking forward to Serenate.  I could care less about Dan, Fucking Vanessa, Jenny, and the Swede.  I really hope that Blair’s storylines stop revolving around Dan, Fucking Vanessa, Serena, and Chuck.  We haven’t really had a very Blair episode.  Sure, she’s had large parts in episodes but she’s mostly been relegated to B or C stories or she’s one of the lesser characters in the A story.  I miss Blair and not a Blair that needs to be queen of NYU because this is stupid for reasons that I have already stated.

You know I love you. XOXO

Hellooo blog world!  You can breathe easy, because I’m back!

Twas a great weekend with penpal! Not too many foodie pics bc I was a bad blogger this weekend and not planning out my meals (shockingly), but I’ve got some goood old fashioned NYC sights to share with ya’ll.

that face is because i was making fun of his cool map.

Luckily James (pen pal) had his handy dandy pop-up map to get us through the weekend, navigating the big city. I live here, mind you… Did I mention he also brought a fanny pack? No, I’m totally kidding. (Hi James!)

Our first stop was Central Park for a gorgeous horse-drawn carriage ride. This is also where I lost my memory and forgot I owned a camera. Just believe me when I tell you it was awesome and our horse was named Charlie Brown. I fed him some carrots and he was grateful.

We then headed over to the Plaza next door to the Park so I could pretend to be Eloise… well, Eloise if she ever grew to legal drinking age.

a grasshopper (it was green!) & white wine

As I mentioned, I didn’t have my camera with me, but I needed photographic evidence of sitting at the bar in the Plaza Hotel, so I whipped out my blackberry. Yay for camera phones. It was a little dark in there (mood lighting?), but you get the idea.

My proof. I’m surprised I didn’t get thrown out of the Plaza for photographing my alcohol. Or for wearing flip flops.

Moving on…

Let’s fast forward to Saturday, where my camera got more use, i.e. actually made it out the door with me. After a big brunch at the diner filled with delicious chocolate chip pancakes, we hit the ground running…. well, stuffed and sleepy, but you know, moving nonetheless.

First stop was Washington Square Park in the Village for some people watching.

they were swing dancing!

james and the giant arch

Then we headed over to Wall Street, because James wanted to see the famous bull. 

George Washington was here

Yes, as you can see I don’t have a picture of the famous bull, but don’t worry- we did see him. James has that photo… apparently he’d make a better blogger for you guys.

Later that night we went to Little Italy, aka my home away from home, and had a super yummy (and unphotographed, sorry!) dinner.

Sunday was more sightseeing, including a stop at the Empire State Building, where I could even see my apartment. So rad.

he wanted a souvenir.

Then we went to Rockefeller Center to see the legendary Christmas tree and ice skate….

Turns out the tree’s not quite ready for its close-up. Sad times.

It was hiding behind this scaffolding/cage. Booooooo.

Then we realized that a girl who just had a foot surgery probably shouldn’t go skating around on top of frozen water… Booooo times 100.

All was not lost, though.. instead we sat inside the warm cafe drinking tea and mocking watching the crazy skaters fall all over each other and pretend to be Nancy Kerrigan and Brian Boitano.

In no time at all, we got hungry. FYI, a criteria to be someone important to me is a stomach that growls as much as my own does, which is basically every two hours. Otherwise we can’t be friends, sorry.

This, of course, meant a visit to Serendipity for some chocolate. We had a bit of a wait (2 hours!) because apparently Katie Holmes was inside feeding Suri some dessert. After an over the shoulder photo snapped by a bored paparazzi (serious), penpal and I headed across the street to kill  time doing what I do best.

Eating pizza.

Does that look good or what?! We stopped in across the street at Patsy’s Pizzeria and split a large cheese pie with peppers, sun-dried tomatoes, onions, and olives with some red wine.

I had some dairy-induced cramps after this, but trust me- it was well worth it… and it didn’t stop me from eventually enjoying some Serendipity-ness. I mean, could anything?

please note i didn't expect this pic to be taken.

I had some dark, dark chocolate mousse, and penpal order the famous frozen hot chocolate, mint version. I REALLY wanted to split it with him, but figured all that milk might actually kill me, and that’d be a real buzz kill for his vacay.

We literally lapsed into a food coma after this fat kid tour of NYC extensive foodie evening, but again- worth it.

Next day, before penpal was set to fly back home, we met up with a friend of his over at the popular BBQ spot Blue Smoke, which is conveniently located near my apartment.

And then my lovely guest had to say goodbye. BUT it was a great weekend, and I’m sure this won’t be the last mention of penpals on the ol’ bloggie.

Time for me to hit the sack because I’m way sleep deprived after this weekend (there may have been a glass or ten of wine I left out of my recap)… I missed you all, so hope you enjoyed the photo tour and had an equally fantastic weekend! Catch you all later!

xo

Serendipity: (n) The art of making happy discoveries, or finding the unexpectedly pleasant by chance or sagacity.

PS. Thanks for all the frosting tips! I’ll be trying the baggie approach next time, for sure.

By Jim Chandley

So I made some good picks that didn’t go my way this time.  Specifically, I put the Colts on upset alert, and I didn’t miss by much.  But the spread wasn’t enough to protect me…

What can you do?

Winners: 55.7% (93-167) ATS: 44.9% (70-156) LOTW: 50% (5-10)

I have a copy of this book coming next week:

Check back in December as I join the blog tour for the book!

Steal def. Dark Saint, 94-65
Good news for Steal – they won. Good news for Saint – they still have the tiebreaker over Steal. Bad news for Saint – they left more points on the bench than they had in their starting lineup.

If It Fitz! def. Locas, 148-129
Tom locked up a playoff spot with this win; Las Vatas finds themselves in big trouble as playoffs look unlikely.

Scrotums def. Nation, 122-101
Big win for Scrotums as WRs show signs of life. Plus, it’s a win over his brother so that’s always nice.

Cows def. ‘Gators, 138-110
Cows continue their winning ways and look strong as the postseason looms.

Mafia def. Fwet, 117-117 (95-79)
Mafia does just enough to secure the win and keep themselves alive in the playoff hunt.