Like the rest of the human race, I love making friends. Being able to find some sort of common ground between yourself and another person and finding ways to expand that connection is great in my own experiences. I consider myself a really nice person, especially when meeting new people. However, I have come across a few people who I felt was a bit harmful to me only because I had the feeling I was only their friend since I had something they wanted. In other words, I almost felt used by them.

I’m at a point now where I really want to be friends with people who have a genuine interest in getting to know who I am. In the past, I found myself trying to make friends with people I thought really had an interest in me, only to find that they only liked me because I tended to know what the answers were for some homework assignment or whatever. I probably talked about this before, so I won’t dive in too much. In addition, I mentioned before that the next few posts (including this one) will be more of a “wish-list” type of thing instead of me always venting and complaining about shit. So here goes.

Like I said before, I more interested in genuine people. People who actually give a fuck about other people’s feelings. People who actually want to know how you are going and actually hit you up from time to time. Basic shit, if you ask me. At times, I wonder if I made the right choices in the friends I’ve made. Usually, I’d just gravitate towards the person who is funny and acts cool around me. Unfortunately, I learned that isn’t always the greatest way to meet people, since their attitude can flip on you in a second. Ah well. I just some good people in my daily life. If not, I guess I’m going to cut some people out completely.

See relationships are never a threat, cuz I’ll erase the history and act like we’ve never met. - Joe Budden “Dear Diary”

Since the startup post, I’ve done my best to figure things out about myself and get my insecurities in check. So far, I see myself doing a better job than I thought. I’ve been able to accept the things I’ve hated about myself and decided to simply move on. Instead, I wanted to take more time into figuring out how to in fact improve my personality, as well as to incorporate more  fulfilling and worth-while things into my life. In other words, I just want to enjoy my life a lot more than I am now. So, from here on out, I’ll do my best to describe what I want from myself and from my everyday life. Shit, maybe even from the other people in my life as well.

‘The grand unified theory of nothing: design, the cult of science and the lure of big ideas’ by Randy Nakamura

It is interesting that the very first article in the book I’m currently reading at the beginning of this term (Looking Closer 5) tackles the relationship between ideas and artefacts in the graphic design process. After focusing almost exclusively on analysis, messages and ideas for project 3, it is good to take a step back and consider the bigger picture. Through a thorough analysis of the research process in design, I have started to appreciate even more the importance of ideas and solutions rather than immediately focusing on only on aesthetics and design. But ideas need to be given shape and form for them to be conveyed, and that is the only way that good ideas can be communicated.

Ultimately in the realm of design, ideas have to be useful.

This post will actually be considerably less topical (read:  about Haiti) than its title implies.  It concerns two types of planning:  planning “before,” actions taken in preparation for or the prevention of a crisis; and planning “after,” the coordinated action we take to clean up the mess and build better than before.

The introduction to Nolon and Salkin’s Land Use in a Nutshell set me thinking about this:

The great fire of 1666 in London led to the adoption of municipal building construction laws that required brick exteriors, wider streets, and open space along the Thames River for access to water for firefighting. . . .  These early land use rules were . . . formalized by the Act for the Rebuilding of London adopted by Parliament in 1667.  The Act gave the municipality the power to regulate the construction of buildings:  their size, height, and placement on the lot, and the materials used (2).

Other examples of dramatic renewal and growth came to my mind:  Chicago, following the 1871 fire; San Francisco, following the 1906 earthquake; the many destroyed villages of northern France and Belgium, reconstructed after the First World War; the bombed cities of Japan and Germany after the Second World War; (a plan f0r) the town of Greensburg, Kansas, after being levelled by a tornado in 2007.

This is not to say that renewal will inevitably follow a crisis, but in each case listed, the devastating losses caused by natural or man-made disasters became an opportunity to reinvent the form of the city.  London, already one of the most important cities in Europe by the 17th century, was rebuilt to become the economic and political center for much of the world, its grand new architecture the manifestation of its wealth and power.   Chicago, its urban core cleared of its old wooden buildings and boarded walkways, had valuable land available to build its new downtown of skyscrapers, paved streets, and rail lines.  Albert, a small city in France, was completely levelled by 1918 and rebuilt by the late 1920s, not a replica of its original form, but with modern infrastructure, wider streets, and a reorientation of the city’s main axes to better locate its new industrial sites in appropriate areas.  Tokyo, with most of its wooden structures burned away in Allied firebombing by 1945, had by the end of the twentieth century become perhaps the most modern city in the world.

The idea that “an ounce of prevention equals a pound of cure” is central to urban planning:  we can make choices today with tomorrow in mind, guiding our next steps, procedures in hand for when something goes wrong.  But even with all our precedent cases, forecast models, and good intentions, can we ever really do anything but react to the events we can’t control?

I’m not suggesting we should despair because we can’t prevent the unpredictable.  Much of our knowledge of good city design is thanks to the lessons we’ve wisely learned from past mistakes, or at least from close observation of what went wrong.  My question is whether we can do anything more forward-looking than error correction, and I’m not sure that the answer is “yes.”

There always exist a handful of brilliantly insightful people who can foresee possibilities far into our future, and many more who can make reasonable guesses about where we might be headed.   However, the complicated tangle of culture, politics, and logistical constraints we call modern life often makes it inordinately difficult to take more than a single step forward.  The one redeeming value of catastrophes seems to be their ability to force us into drastic action.  In their most extreme form, disasters can “wipe the slate clean” and challenge us to make new choices:  in the example of city form, to use physical loss as an opportunity to build new and better.  We can return to the status quo ante, but it is no longer a given that we should do so.

So how should we move forward?  I think we need to spend more time looking thoughtfully backward:  more careful assessment of successes and failures in disaster recovery, particularly where planners (or private developers) chose to rethink and redesign their city.  Evaluate what worked and which actors and circumstances allowed those changes to take place.  Identify which examples have the best analogues to current cities, and where those successful strategies might be employed in the wake of future crises.

To go a step further:  what if cities wrote into their comprehensive plans a “disaster renewal” section, in which they would identify locations which are most vulnerable, locations (or networks) which are most in need of change, and steps to take in order to foster successful redevelopment following a crisis?  No doubt this suggestion would be met by many, most notably city councils, as a morbid hypothetical exercise.  Consider, however:

• More and more of our global population is living in cities.
• In the United States, our infrastructure is aging; in many other parts of the world, city infrastructure is inadequate or non-existent.
• Cities tend to locate on flat land near water.
• The incidence of major weather-related disasters has been increasing in recent years, and there is little reason to believe this trend will reverse.
• Even where disaster recovery plans have been written, they are notoriously difficult to execute.
• Even where short-term disaster relief and recovery are administered, the monumental task of long-term recovery suffers from lack of organization, collaboration, and vision.

We can’t stop disasters in our cities, much as we try to mitigate, but time and again we’ve found opportunity in our losses well outside the scope of everyday planning processes.  If we can only really organize ourselves to make big changes in the wake of crisis, shouldn’t we be better students of our own past disasters?

Reconstruction has come to mean many things to many historians. The time period in history may be one of the most controversial and misunderstood. For our purposes, Reconstruction is the period of time after the civil war(it started during the civil war in some areas) that was intended to rebuild the nation. 4 years of death and destruction does a lot to destroy the foundations of a nation. After war every country has to rebuild to some extent. The first part we will discuss is what I refer to as the civil rights amendments.

13th Amendment: Passed in 1865, this amendment outlawed slavery in the United States. I think it is interesting to note that although it was passed in 1865 some states didn’t ratify it until long after. Mississippi for instance only ratified it in 1995.

14th Amendment: Passed in 1866, this amendment outlined citizenship in the United States(something that had been partially prompted by the Dred Scott case that said slaves were not citizens). Again many states took their time in ratifying it, the last one was in 1976 by Kentucky.

15th Amendment: Passed in 1869, this amendment extended voting rights to all men in the U.S. though it was probably designed for African-American men. Remember this was for men only, women still could not vote regardless of race. The last state to ratify this amendment was Tennessee in 1997.

As a testament of the controversial times. All of these amendments were rejected by several states at first. All three of these rights were passed in response to the Civil War. The easy way to remember them is this phrase…Free Citizens Vote. -13th,14th,15th amendment.

During this time of Reconstruction there were two main plans that need to be discussed. The Presidential plan, and the congressional plan.

The presidential plan started during the civil war. Lincoln wanted to make reunification as easy and painless as possible. He promised forgiveness to the confederacy and allowed them to recreate their own governments when they rejoined. They also had to ratify the 13th amendment. President Johnson continued this plan after Lincoln died with a few changes. They south had to not pay debts that accumulated during the war, pledge their loyalty to the US, and agree that secession from the Union was illegal.

Many in congress thought that the president was being to easy on the south. Many blamed the south for the war and wanted them to pay for it. They organized the former confederacy into 5 military districts each with a military leader in charge(Texas was paired up with Louisiana) the 14th and 15th amendments were also passed that granted citizenship and voting rights to African-American men.

During reconstruction, President Andrew Johnson, removed a member of his cabinet even though a law had just been passed that said he couldn’t do this on his own. He became the first president in US history to be impeached although he was not removed from office (save 1 vote)

The Reconstruction period is also the time we see the Ku Klux Klan. This terrorist group worked to limit freedmen in their living and working ability and keep them out of government as well using fear (such as lynchings). The south went further to pass several laws that also restricted the freedmen of their rights.

to learn more about reconstruction look here.

Like almost all other major projects, will absorb the time and money, so the company you sit down, this should be on the prospect of rebuilding your home, your immediate family. Once you have a clear plan needs to give full consideration to your needs and your family, you can go to help build update your dreams become a reality.

We must remember that the exact conversion type you are interested, you can help to start small-scaleFor example, in a smaller space for a moving target. This will help you gain confidence and experience to enable you to move, such as kitchen or bathroom decoration decoration more complex projects.

You should do some research so that you may need to plan what you are. You can also rebuild the idea from a magazine, you can also search for photos, like on-line and up to date concepts, plans and blueprints, as well. If you try to find more resources, may be a good idea,Scramble your attention.

You can also contact your family, friends, relatives and colleagues of all references, experience or opinions, they may. Perhaps the person know that a conversion operator, which is the necessary experience and background to successfully complete your project.

However, can provide detailed it seems too good to be true, like many other things, they are common. If you can not believe that a particular company orCompany, you should definitely move to another. Many people across the country every town, nearly all accepted the conversion task.

Finally, is to ensure that the contractor or the company you choose to meet to go, and with them a detailed and comprehensive discussion. To ensure that they understand that the needs and expectations of them. You pay them, so you have the right to have a raised a good workingVery timely.

This is the latest in my series of blog entries taking a fresh look at a variety of topics over the next year. I’ve set up a page on the blog explaining the project and linking to my entries. This week’s topic is “Your House.”

The challenge in this one was that the idea of my house is very much tied up in the idea of home, which I already tackled in a post a while back after watching Up In the Air. So, thoughts on my house, without getting into the idea of home, or getting too literal about the physical structure. (“Eh.”)

A year ago, Susanna and I were figuring out where we were going to live when we got married. We each went into it believing that we should live initially in the house where we each currently lived. Eventually, she acquiesed, and we decided to live in my house. What I never realized was the extent to which she was unable to be truly happy in that decision. It ended up not mattering, obviously, since we never reached that point. In talking about it later, after she called off the engagement, she finally shared more about her dissatisfaction with the decision.

Three major lessons came out of that for me:

One, you have to decide what’s important to you. I would not have chosen my house over Susanna, really. And the house was not the factor that drove us apart. But it was far more divisive than it was unifying. And it wasn’t worth putting another wedge between us. And the truth is, there were any number of things like that, things that put small wedges between us that really weren’t worth it, things on both sides that we weren’t willing to let go of. Things that I never really understood or considered the cost of until it was too late. So, yeah, lesson one is, what’s really important? Always look at the cost.

Two, some things can’t be measured. There were a lot of good reasons for us to live in my house. Spacewise, it would accomodate our combined stuff far better than hers. Financially, it would be easier on our budget, letting us tackle some debt more quickly. Locationwise, it was far more convenient to both of our offices, among other things. I weighed all the facts, and the answer was obvious. But here’s what didn’t show up on the spreadsheet. She loved her house. She was emotionally attached to it. Neither of us loved my house. And, ultimately, that outweighed anything on my list of facts. Lesson two — Consider the facts, but don’t forget the intangibles, and don’t assume they weigh less because you can’t weigh them.

Three, you don’t know everything. I meant well. I really did. I wasn’t trying to be selfish; I wasn’t trying to put my desires ahead of hers. I was trying to act in her best interest. There was probably some “being a man” aspect to it. I wanted to provide — Look, I’ve given you so much room for us to live in. See what we can do with this space? Look at how good this is for us financially! See how this alleviates your fears and burdens about money? Here’s the problem with that. Those were my beliefs on what was in her best interest. Theoretically, the person who should have been making the call about what was in her best interest was her. And that’s so easy to do. It’s easy to do in a relationship, and it’s easy to do in general — to decide what you think is best for someone else, and do it, without ever really bothering to find out whether it really is best for them or not. So, lesson three — Don’t assume. Ask. And believe.

Well, yes, Community Board 2’s Parks Committee met Wednesday night, February 3rd, in the Village with a list of topics to discuss. On the agenda: Design of the Washington Square Park “comfort stations,” part of Washington Square Park Redesign: Phase III which will begin later this year or early next. Plus there was, at last, a look at the plans for WSP Phase II construction, currently underway.

The Parks Department unveiled full Washington Square Park Phase II redesign plan blueprints, the first time anyone from the community had seen these despite the fact that the work began in the Fall of 2009. More on what they revealed follows. Clearly, these Phase II blueprints have existed for awhile — the fact that the Parks Department just now got around to bringing them before the Community Board is particularly vexing.

Those present at the Committee’s previous December meeting (a joint meeting with the Washington Square Park Task Force), at which the Parks Department was unprepared, were told that representatives would return at February’s meeting to give the Community Board the information they sought: full and final details on ongoing Phase II construction and design plans for Phase III (which also includes the administrative buildings on the southern end of the park).

Instead, the Parks Department dropped off some blueprints (which were nice to finally see of course), placed them on a table and focused on presentations related to other parks. No information was presented about the design of the Washington Square Park comfort stations/restrooms. (You might recall that the Greenwich Village community repeatedly insisted over the last five or so years that WSP’s failing rest rooms be addressed first in their redesign plans to which the New York City Parks Department smiled and nodded their heads while ignoring this request all along the way.)

At the meeting, other village neighborhood parks got the spotlight, including Bleecker Street Playground, Petrosino Park, and Minetta Playground. I miss the presence of Community Board 2 Chair Brad Hoylman (who left his position at the beginning of this year after a 2 year term). With Hoylman there, the spotlight shone a bit brighter on WSP – and park – issues. CB2 Parks Committee Chair Tobi Bergman, previously a Parks Department employee, is more likely to dismiss items when they might get a bit thorny, giving the Parks Department greater latitude and not holding them accountable. I can’t say for certain that Hoylman, who works for Partnership for New York City (a pro-Bloomberg, pro-development entity), increased the Parks Department’s responsiveness but the process felt a bit more open.

Arborcide by NYU and at WSP

For example: NYU devastatingly chopped down 6 trees along Thompson Street between Washington Square South and West 3rd Street recently during construction of their new Interfaith center at 58 Washington Square South. Their reason: to install an intricate heating system. Clearly, the design could have been configured otherwise.

In December, Bergman took a strong stand, with the rest of the board’s committee, when NYU officials came before them with these plans. The Parks Committee disapproved of this arborcidal concept and instructed NYU to find a new way to proceed. Yet, it was revealed on Wednesday that the Parks Department went ahead and gave the University the jurisdiction to send the trees to the chopping block. Trees now gone. To those who objected when this news was brought to light, Bergman told them, quickly shutting down any discussion: it was done, yes, we objected, move on.

When Mayor Michael Bloomberg says he is in favor of a MillionTrees, there may be some planting going on, but it seems for every one tree planted, another is axed. (See Union Square and Yankee Stadium Parkland, as well as Washington Square Park – 14 trees axed in Phase I, unclear # in Phase II to be destroyed.)

Another example: the two magnificent, non-uniform, non-aligned trees that graced the path from Garibaldi Statue alongside Teen Plaza to LaGuardia Place at WSP. I’m not certain the type tree they were but they had character, were clearly very old, and their branches drooped at bizarre angles, infusing immediate charm and an eclectic feeling.

When landscape designer George Vellonakis walked me through a tour of his plans for Phase II in May 2009, I asked specifically about those trees. As he had stated previously in public, he confirmed to me that those trees would remain. But, like most everything that shows a bit of non-conformity at the Park, as I walked through Wednesday night, I noted those trees are gone.

Parks Department Given Way Too Much Latitude

Back to the meeting -  no presentation from the Parks Department on WSP. Bergman was vague about when they would return (March was fleetingly mentioned) and didn’t seem to recall the stated agenda items from December slated to be readdressed at this meeting. It wouldn’t be hard for the city agency to detect that, as Chair, Bergman is quick to forgive – or more pointedly ignore -  failings on their part. He’s very adept at pointing out that CB2 role is advisory, instead of forging a more activist and assertive front. I’m not certain why, when the CB2 Chair was rotated at the beginning of this year, new committee chairpersons were not put into play.

Blueprints Dropped Off: Washington Square Park Phase II

The Parks Department dropped off diagrams displaying Washington Square Park Phase II which were placed on a table for viewing. A few interesting items were evident from the plans:

*There will be 19 chess tables. I can’t recall the previous number (does anyone offhand?) but it looked like an increase although the Parks Department had initially said the number would remain the same. That SW corner becomes reduced in size – becoming another conformed, aligned “Plaza,” like the other three that grace the corners of the Park’s quadrants.

*Nine NYPD security cameras and devices, four within the Park, installed on poles. “2 cameras will be installed on new poles that currently do not have security devices installed.” I gather the other five will be along the perimeter of the Park.

*As we knew, four of the six seating alcoves will be preserved. Three are supposed to remain as they were, one reduced in size.

*As previously outlined, the two dog runs will be relocated along Washington Square South. (Designer Vellonakis previously has stated that no trees would be disturbed there. We’ll see…)

*Garibaldi is being moved from his position facing West to a position a bit further North, facing South.

As for Phase III design plans, it seems that they will be unveiled by the Parks Department at the Parks Committee meeting in March – at least that’s what was implied. Whether the Parks Department will keep to their word, we shall see. We’ll also see whether Community Board 2’s Parks Committee holds them to it.

********************************************************************

For a look at the Phase II diagrams and a report about the meeting from Curbed, go here.

My previous WSP Blog post on Phase II plans.

Recuperation really IS a long, drawn out process. It is SO much more than physical. I’ve talked about the mental and emotional aspects before as well. It’s a convoluted aspect of healing wherein each state ties in to each of the other. It’s the Gordian Knot of Recuperation.

Here’s an example. I know that I am temporarily satisfied with the Twins. I know that I eventually want nipples. Surgery is just a four letter word right now. The idea of more surgery stresses me out to the point that I almost start crying. On the opposite end of the spectrum, not EVER having the surgery makes me tear up.

The thought of more surgery makes me fearful. I’m terrified of something going wrong and developing necrosis again. I’m also not thrilled with the idea of being cut on again even if it IS only surface work and outpatient surgery. I’m angry that I have to make these decisions in the first place.

I also own that if I had not put myself in this position in the first place I wouldn’t have to be making these decisions. Nor would I be putting my family through everything we have been through since this whole ordeal began.

Regular readers know that I am indecisive. It takes me ages to to come to a final conclusion. Usually I am anxiety ridden about a thing for months, if not years. Making the nipple surgery decision falls into that category without a doubt.

It’s also a very individual decision. I have seen a woman who bought prosthetic nipples without having reconstructive surgery. She felt that even without the mounds, what she missed most was not having nipples. Other women I have spoken to are simply happy with just the mounds and nothing else. Others don’t want to take a chance on a second surgery, so they find prosthetics and still others are so afraid that they don’t do anything at all.

Trying to make the “right” decision is enough to drive you mental. Just make sure that whatever you decide, it’s what YOU want. YOU have to live in your body. No one else does.

Bill Clinton to coordinate Haiti aid efforts
 
By Patrick Worsnip
Reuters
Wednesday, February 3, 2010; 2:49 PM

UNITED NATIONS (Reuters) – The United Nations on Wednesday assigned former U.S. President Bill Clinton, now U.N. special envoy to Haiti, to coordinate international relief efforts in the earthquake-devastated country.

Clinton will seek to organize a mass of aid initiatives and offers that have poured in since the magnitude 7.0 earthquake killed up to 200,000 Haitians and made up to 1 million homeless on January 12, U.N. officials said.

Three weeks after the quake, a huge U.S.-led international relief operation has been struggling to help survivors. The United Nations, whose mission chief in Haiti and nearly 100 other staff were killed, has admitted early aid efforts were disorganized but says the situation is improving daily.

After meeting U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, who asked him to assume the new task, Clinton said he was “pleased to take on an expanded role in the recovery efforts” and would learn from disasters like the 2004 Asian tsunami.

Ban “specifically asked President Clinton to assume a leadership role in coordinating international aid efforts from emergency response to the reconstruction of Haiti,” U.N. spokesman Martin Nesirky said.

“There’s an awful lot of goodwill out there, an unprecedented flow of aid and good intentions and cash, and the idea is to ensure that that comes together in the right way,” Nesirky told reporters.

Nesirky described Clinton as an “internationally renowned, highly visible, high-profile individual,” with an ability to mobilize leaders and businessmen.

The former president would coordinate the work of U.N. agencies, government donors, private investors and nongovernmental organizations, the United Nations said.

Several diplomats said Clinton had strong backing from U.N. member states, and was the right person for the job because he can combine his U.N. authority with his experience and connections in the U.S. government.

The United Nations, which has more than 12,600 troops and police in Haiti, has been overseeing the emergency relief effort in coordination with the U.S. military, which has mobilized more than 10,000 personnel to help the country.

(Editing by Xavier Briand)

Focus: People and Power HOPE AMONG THE RUBBLE updated Wednesday, Febr. 3, 2010

http://english.aljazeera.net/programmes/peopleandpower/2010/02/20102371044874146.html

“This most recent disaster may have momentarily caught the attention of politicians, journalists and NGOs but there is more than a whiff of guilt attached to some of the help from richer nations, which could – and arguably should – have previously done much more to lift Haiti out of poverty and despair.

And when the television lights go off and the hospital ships sail away, many of those same underlying problems will still be there and Haiti will be on its own once more.

So what then for Haiti’s shattered government and traumatised people? What part will either be able to play in its reconstruction?

In the days following the disaster, People & Power’s Juliana Ruhfus and Caroline Pare set out to try and answer these questions, focusing their attention on Haiti’s own response to the calamity to see whether it contained any seeds of a brighter future.”

Continued at the Al Jazeera English weblink posted above.  The special report,a video and other information can be found at the Al Jazeera English website.

Outdoor Interlaken shows progress:

We’re about to convert our archive to brandnew offices!

Check out the pictures of the reconstruction

Today we’re discussing ways to break up scar tissue adhesions.

Since the first day after surgery my back has felt tight, as though I were squeezed into a proper corset. For those not familiar with corseting, it is an undergarment from the Elizabethan era worn on the torso that uses boning to give a more shapely figure. The boning then was whale bone because of it’s strength. Today the whale bone has been replaced by plastic. But for some diehards, there is steel boning.

At one point in my life I was the half owner of a web based Renaissance fashion company. I traveled all over the south east dressed in Elizabethan finery to promote the company. So I know what it’s like to be corseted.

The last time I spoke to someone about this, it was a massage therapist client in southern Georgia. He suggested that the reason I still feel like that is because the scar tissues has adhered, or grown on to, the fascia layer of skin. Thus the term “adhesions”.

According to Patti Bergley, the nurse at Dr. Elliot’s office, I do NOT have adhesions. Adhesions refer mostly to bowel tissue adhering to the abdominal wall. I just have scar tissue. The scar tissue is tight and will, according to Patti, soften over time. What will HELP with that is exercise and stretching.

I told her that when I stretch it feels like things are tearing in my back. She said that was a good thing. Stretching and exercise will actually do more to increase flexibility than cross fiber friction massage. From a medical standpoint, all massage will do is soften the scar tissue.

I have an exercise ball. You know…those big rubber balls with the 2 foot circumference that you lean back on. So I’m going to start using that and see if it does any good.

As usual, I will report back.

Quick Post -

I received word that my lumpectomy will be done February 12th. I only spoke with the surgical scheduling, waiting to speak with my pillow sack doctor.

The lump in my left breast is located near my nipple, during the surgery that (the nipple) will be taken too.  As I understand, reconstructive procedures done at the time of lumpectomy…at this point I’m unsure, I’m living in a vacuum of information over load, combined with depressing emotions – I cried today.

The lieutenant governor of South Carolina Andre Bauer compared schoolchildren receiving subsidized lunches to stray animals. He said that they should not be fed because they, both kids and animals, will then breed.

It seems that a month can’t go by without some news from the Palmetto State which makes one wish that we had not lifted the Reconstruction regime imposed after the Civil War.

Now there is still a very active secessionist movement in S.C. which is seeking to remove the State from the Union, again.

I hope they are successful. We’d whup ‘em again and this time burn every rebel flag that ever flew.

I’d be willing to pack my carpetbags and trudge southward to help “reconstruct” this infernal little excuse for a commonwealth. Seriously though it is time for the good ol’ boys to grow up.

I’ve done the research and I think I’ll be trying this idea out at a local level. Maybe at Daytona Beach first. According to local ordinance in New Orleans, lewd behavior constitutes exposing their genitals, have sex, masturbating, urinating or defecating in public.

The reason I state the local New Orleans law is that I have been considering going topless ever since I got the new Twins. I’m currently investigating what, specifically, constitutes genitalia. Of course there is the obvious penis and vagina. When it comes to women, is it JUST the nipple? Is it the nipple and areolae? How MUCH of the breast can be exposed without falling into the “lewd’ category?

Since I don’t have nipples or areolae, CAN I get away with going topless in public? The woman in this photo was at a “Naked Bike Ride” and did not get arrested.

None of the (nearly) naked people during World Naked Bike Day were arrested. Of course you can tell by looking closely that nothing is showing. So the question becomes this: if I don’t have anything that needs to be covered, do I still have to cover the place where they would be?

I’ve contacted the Daytona Beach police department since this is going to be my test area. I’ll put up an update when I get an answer. And of course, I’ll be announcing my topless adventure when I do it.

UPDATE:When I talked to my DH about going topless last night, he asked an important question. That question being “Why?”. It occurred to me that many readers are probably asking the same question.

It has always been my intention in writing BoobCast to be a support system for other women who have gone through botched plastic surgery. One of the  biggest issues I had was not feeling as though I were “normal”. Since I still don’t have nipples and areolae, I’m still not “normal”.

By going topless I want to be a visual example to others that it’s okay to be “in process”. Most importantly, it’s okay to go out in public WHILE you’re in process.

I felt SO self conscious before my breast reconstruction that I didn’t really enjoy being in public much. I was convinced that everyone could see how deformed I was no matter how baggy my clothes were.

It’s also an opportunity to talk about BoobCast and what can happen when plastic surgery goes wrong.

Breasts. Tits. Bazookas. Tatas. Jugs. Torpedos. Yahoos. Melons. Hooters. A rack. Titties. (I still giggle when I hear that one…my cousin and I thought we were tough when we used that at about age six!)  Whatever you want to call them. We’ve all got them. In all different sizes and shapes. The fascination with them is never ending. I’m sure there’ve been battles fought over them. Lives lost. Loves ruined. They are ever so powerful.

Well, I’m going to tell you about my past year. Not for any particular reason other than it is pressing on me that maybe someone else has been through or is going through something similar, and maybe, just maybe my words can ease their heart or mind.

I would like to say that my story has ended well. But I really don’t know so, let’s say it is at a happy stand still.

A little over a year ago, I got a letter from my local hospital where I had had my routine mammogram a few days earlier. It was a Saturday. I actually tossed the letter aside thinking it was the typical form letter that all was well… yada yada yada. A while later, I opened the letter. And it was a form letter. But not the kind I had anticipated. This was one that said they detected an area of suspicion on my breast… but not to be alarmed as it was not uncommon. The hell it wasn’t. I’d never gotten a letter like that before. It said to call my doctor. Great, it was Saturday…no reaching anyone there. And to call the breast center to schedule an appointment for magnification views. No one there either because it was around five o’clock. And Dirt Man was out of town, not available by cell for a few hours. I went into my own little panic world.

So, by Monday when I was able to call my doctor’s office, I’d died at least fifty times in my mind and left my loved ones behind to cook for themselves. I’d gone through every conceivable treatment plan and still ended up dying. My mind is really warped. When the doctor’s nurse finally returned my call, she assured me it was “normal” to get results like that and told to get the magnification views and they’d call me with the results.

I got the magnification views. I am here to tell you that if you think a mammogram hurts, you don’t even want to think about having this done. I’ve never had extreme pain as some women do with mammograms. The magnification process is a whole different story. It was excruciating. Same machine….different views. And they make sure they get every bit of flesh in between the “squishers“. They leave NOTHING out. They cram, pull, kink, twist, contort, flatten, bend, and rotate to not miss ANYTHING. I wanted to scream. She asked me to hold my breath…no worries, I couldn’t breathe! The pain was almost unbearable. Now, it might not always be this painful or it may have been due to the fact that I didn’t have a lot of breast for them to work with. Another advantage of being practically flat- chested! But I always remind myself of the saying “small breasted women have big hearts”. Yep, that’s my motto.

My office did NOT call me with the results. I received another letter that was pretty much like the first one. I called the office, and eventually they called me back and basically told me to wait another six months and repeat it. They couldn’t tell me that it was cancer and couldn’t rule it out, but assured me that six months wouldn’t make any difference in my health.

Dirt Man and I decided that I needed to go to a specialist. I had to call my gyn office again to have some of my records transferred. I was told that from there on that it was the responsibility of the surgeon to answer any questions concerning my breast.

I decided (and Dirt Man agreed) that if it turned out to be breast cancer that I’d go ahead and have a mastectomy. In fact, I would prefer that they just take both of them. I didn’t need them any more. I’d nursed my babies. They’d served their purpose. Besides there was always reconstruction. (I could get bigger and better ones!)

The surgeon explained that a needle biopsy would not give me an accurate diagnosis because it they could not be positive to take tissue that contained the micro -calcifications. He could perform a surgical biopsy. Or I could wait and have another mammogram in a few months and see if there were any changes. He said that the routine was to have mammograms every six months for two years and that if there is no change then most likely it is not cancer. I chose to wait and have a mammogram in six months. I did not want to go through a surgical procedure. He assured me that if it was cancer it was extremely early and that six months would not make any difference.

I decided to start taking colloidal silver daily. (My father used it and was cured of renal cancer.) I’m not saying that I didn’t worry for the next six months because I did. There was seldom a moment that I didn’t think about it. Of course, I worried about not being around to see my boys graduate college, get married, and have kids. And I won’t even go there about the thought of some b**** taking my place in Dirt Man’s life and in MY (ok our but never her)house. Yeah, all kinds of crap ran through my head!

I went back in six months with the exact same results…no change so that was good. At least, it wasn’t worse. The doctor had told me I needed to get the mammogram again in six months, but the hospital said in one year and just a routine one then, not a diagnostic one. Maybe insurance dictated that, I don’t know. But anyway, this past November I was given clearance to wait a whole year for my next mammogram. Meantime, I continue my colloidal silver.

During this time, I did a lot of thinking and a lot of praying. It’s given me time to concentrate on the people I love most in this world. It’s given me the foresight to see what is really important in my life. I don’t think I take as much for granted or sweat quite as much over the little things. I’ve come to a certain peace in my life. I think I’m right with things in my life. I’m on good terms with my God and those I love. I know deep down that it doesn’t matter what I look like or what I possess. I try to touch others in positive ways. The things that matter in life are simple. What matters most to me is love. If I were to die this very minute, I would die happy because I have loved and been loved to the very core of my being. And what I have learned is to let go and let God.

“Alting bliver godt igen” lover Christoffer Boe. Kan ikke vente med at se den.. Hvem vil med? Jaaaa!!

Stills fra yndlingsfilmen Reconstruction. Citat August: “Kvinden er væk. Smilet er blegnet. Men, manden er her stadig. Nej, ikke sådan… Ensom.
Alt er film, alt er konstruktion, og endda gør det ondt”.

P

Lynching 1930 – A mob of 10,000 whites took sledgehammers to the county jailhouse doors to get at these two young blacks accused of raping a white girl; the girl’s uncle saved the life of a third – Milwaukee’s James Cameron – by proclaiming the man’s innocence. Although this was Marion, Ind., most of the nearly 5,000 lynchings documented between Reconstruction and the late 1960s were perpetrated in the South. (Hangings, beatings and mutilations were called the sentence of “Judge Lynch.”) Some lynching photos were made into postcards designed to boost white supremacy…

This is how WE were treated in America’s past… our family was the Strange Fruit.  Respect to Lady Day for hitting America over the head and condemning the hanging OUR People. Check out some of Sister Day’s lyrics…

Southern trees bear strange fruit,
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root,
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze,
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.

Here is fruit for the crows to pluck,
For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck,
For the sun to rot, for the trees to drop,
Here is a strange and bitter crop.

Take a little pause and reflect on these images… let me know what you feel, think and believe.