Tis the season for slip-ups and disasters.  The key is to prepare and prevent them from happening.

3 Levels of Disaster:

1. Lapse- a slight slip-up, you’re able to redirect quickly and get back on track.

2. RElapse- old habits are coming back

3. COLlapse- relapse after relapse leads to fear of failing and anger.  That leads to losing hope, despair.

Major contributors: high risk foods, high risk situations, cravings and urges.

.                                                                                                               .

So how do you redirect?

• Forgive yourself and get back to the environment that worked (meetings).

• Recognize YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

• Recognize when you need help.

• Be willing to accept help.

• Make sure you surround yourself with positive people who will help you.

• Know your triggers!

• If you’re still giving in to your triggers, write down why this behavior is continuing- What am I feeling?  Am I really hungry?  Do I really want this?  Am I covering something?  Anger? Lonely?  Tired?

REFRAME!  EXPLORE OTHER OPTIONS!

About a year ago, Reframe It launched a product that allowed web users to add public (or private) comments on any part of any website, using a side pane in the browser. According to the users’ choice, the comments would be available for later visitors to that website to see and respond to.

Six weeks ago, Google launched SideWiki which . . . does the same thing (without the privacy options). A coincidence? Possibly. But Reframe It co-founder and CEO Bobby Fishkin believes the similarities extend beyond just the ideas for the products. He tells eWEEK that even the layout of the buttons of the two services is strikingly similar.

And the evidence he offers goes deeper:

A Reframe It board member recommended the service to a Google exec in July 2008Within a few months, at least six Google employees registered for the service.Days before Sidewiki’s launch, Google tried to hire Reframe It co-founder and lead engineer Ben Taitelbaum.

Of course, all we have for for all this is Fishkin’s word (though I assume Taitelbaum and the board member would testify as well). Fishkin says Reframe It has a patent pending—and the law says they can amend that application, including to specifically cover the aspects they think Google might be copying. Once the patent is officially issued, they can sue for infringement.

On Google Watch, eWEEK reporter Clint Boulton assembled the side-by-side comparison of the two services:

Reframe It Vs. Google Sidewiki –

Naturally, neither Reframe It nor Sidewiki can claim to be the first web annotation service. However, depending on exactly what their patent will cover, Reframe It may still be able to claim Google violates their patent. (However, at present Reframe It is focusing on launching its 2.0 version, and couldn’t take the distraction, Fishkin says.)

What do you think? Should Reframe It sue Google once it’s patent is issued? Or is this just a coincidence?

via

Social Media Monitoring in Just 60-Seconds. Guaranteed!

I attended the ReFrame conference in San Francisco last week. I had some medical stuff that kept me from making the trip to New York for Photo East, so that freed up a few days to go to the Bay Area to learn more about convergence.

It seems that I could have also done that in New York. Based on reports I got from friends at the show, this year’s Photo East was all abuzz over hybrid video/DSLR cameras.

ReFrame was focused on the wedding video business. Frankly, I have no personal or business interest in that space. But there was plenty of content that I found helpful just the same.

I did learn a great deal about the people who shoot wedding video. First of all, most of them are far more talented than I would have imagined. Gone are the days when they set up a camcorder in the back of the church and hit the “record” button. These folks are straight up filmmakers. I was impressed.

The conference was put on by a group called the ReFrame Collective. The organizers did a fantastic job of seeing to the needs of the attendees. The food and parties hosted by the group were amazing. The facilities at the Clift Hotel were good for learning and everyone had a good time. It seemed like everyone learned something. Many of the questions, even those coming from seasoned filmmakers, surrounded the idea of hybrid cameras and their use.

I was particularly interested in spending time with Philip Bloom. He’s a pioneer in the convergence space. He’s also a terrific guy and a great shooter. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen ANYONE who enjoys themselves more behind a camera. And that’s saying a great deal since I pretty much just spend my life hanging with other image makers. If Philip has a camera in his hand, it’s almost always accompanied by a grin that can only be matched by a 13-year-old boy who just discovered his first Playboy magazine.

Philip and his business partner Dennis Lennie were gracious with their time and spent time shooting with all the attendees at the Palace of Fine Arts. I got lots of great tips from both, and had time to record a few interviews with Philip that I will share here at a later date.

Suffice it to say that if you’re like me, and a long-time still shooter, you may think that you can just buy a video/DSLR and make great films. Believe me, nothing could be further from the truth. Still photographers have a leg up on pure video newbies because they understand (or should) light, composition, exposure, etc. But that is the end of any similarity. The rest of it is new stuff that we all need to learn. And if you thought learning Photoshop was tough, wait until you tackle Final Cut Pro! Editing is clearly as important if not more important than capture in the video world.

The gear (other than the camera) really does make a difference here. I saw all sorts of rigs and contraptions at the conference – some I’ve never heard of. There were lots of follow focus devices, dolly tracks, stabilization tools and sliders. Then there’s audio and lights to consider. In short, I left the conference having learned a great deal – mostly – what I learned was that I have a lot of work to do and a long way to go before I get good at this video stuff.

But in a way, that’s good news. It’s a new challenge. And I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that learning the video side of things will make me a better still shooter.

Attendees were sporting gear from Zacuto, ( see my review of the Z-Finder here) RedRock Micro, and Glidecam and all of it was very interesting. Philip’s F-Stop Academy stuff was also on display – something I’ve already reviewed here and worth a look.

Like it or not, convergence is upon us. The hybrid cameras are the ones generating all the buzz. Even if you have no interest in shooting video, I came away from ReFrame thinking you could learn from the trend. And getting back to the filmmakers I met at the conference, do yourself a big favor and watch Kevin Shaninian’s Bollywood movie. It will change your opinion of “wedding videographers” forever. It will also teach you something about visual storytelling no matter what device you use to capture your images.

I’m a junkie for InStyle magazine.   It seems like a frivolous expense during this time of unemployment, but I found a $10 bill in the gutter the other day and promptly picked up a pristine copy of the periodical at my local candy store.  It was a clandestine purchase which yielded hours of enjoyment; many more than a quick sugar fix could.

I don’t know if InStyle’s editorial calendar timed this for Halloween or not, but I’d been in the makeover frame of mind lately.  Other folks are posting their costumes as well as those of their children and pets…and the mere suggestion of trying a Hollywood Makeover online a la InStyle.com had me practically running to my computer.  I typed in the URL address given in the magazine (www.instyle.com/makeover) and started my adventure.  My, was it a feast for the senses.

At first glance, I admit that I groaned.  Edward and Alice Cullen are the splash page models for the “Hollywood Makeover.”

Yes, I read the Twilight Series…and yes, there’s a little girl in me who fantasizes about being a Cullen…but no, I don’t want to makeover my nonexistent boyfriend to look like an eighteen year-old vampire or werewolf.  Shudder.  I can’t say I was expecting an option for male makeovers but, dear Y-chromosome bearing readers, you can get your butts off the bench and participate in this exercise, too.  In fact, you get 10 hairstyle templates to choose from, compared to the 285 hairstyles offered the women.  Oh, wait.  I shouldn’t have misled you.  Back to the bench.  Lest you think you’re being included, the site actually directs the audience to “Makeover Your Man!”  So, I guess you can take your chromosome and go home.  We’ll let you know what you’re going to look like in a couple of hours, after we post the new you on our Facebook page, your Facebook page, Twitter, MySpace, and our blog…as the Makeover Module will allow us to do with each of the options we explore.

Don’t worry–you won’t be embarrased, there are only so many looks for you.  You’ll either look like George Clooney or Robert Pattinson or Joe Jonas or President Obama or Will Smith or Zac Efron or McDreamy or Brad Pitt or Taylor Lautner or some kid named “Chace.”  See?  Nothing embarassing at all…except maybe the point to which we might manscape your brows (and the option only goes from original size to thin, thinner, and thinnest).  That there are eyeshadow colors and other makeup options for you male readers is something we don’t have to talk about here…you can just save your experimenting to the hard drive and we’ll never speak of it again.  If that’s what you want.  If you want to discuss the brows, though, the topic is always open.

Almonzo, now that I've made you over to look like a jailbait drag queen, I would like to call you "Manly."

Enough about you, back to me.  My turn.  InStyle.com gives a bunch of options for using models for the makeovers, but I didn’t find that any of them adequately represent me, Andy.  Happily, I chose the option to upload a picture of myself…once I had one to upload.  There are certain preparations I made for this project.  The specifications for providing my own photo included that it be a picture of me looking straight ahead with my hair back.  A light background was also a good idea; if I were to do it again, I would make sure I had more white space above my head for updos and spikes (see the cut-off InStyle cover…sorry Kate, don’t hit me).  As it was, I didn’t get to try out any Lady Gaga hairdos which, I’m sure, is what I would’ve chosen if I had my druthers.

After I’d showered, I refrained from putting on any makeup…not that I slather it on for my daily at-home audience of one (the canine better known as “Grendel”).  I picked a neutral shirt without much action around the neck to run interference.  Come to think of it, though, it was hardly a neutral shirt…it was by Ralph Lauren and I apologize for not boycotting his products in this time of controversy.  Kind of like vintage fur, I don’t like the fact that it exists in my closet…but since it does, I’ll use it.  And, I like the irony that he’s under fire for gross misuse of digital alterations in his product photography…and I’m wearing one of his pieces for an online makeover session (aka digital alterations).  Heh.  How do you like that, Ralph?  I’m a plus-size model, wearing your clothing, and not altering one inch of my body…only the width of my eyebrows.  Eat your heart out.

How I look in the morning...with the exception of the lack of bedhead.

Upon taking twenty five photos, I went with the first one in the photo shoot.  Of course.  Meanwhile, anyone passing by my apartment might think the tripod and camera flashes late on a Friday night might be indications of something more fun than a writing project.  Alas, no.  But, that’s not to say there wasn’t still plenty of fun to be had.

I’ll start with Alice.  I had to.  The Cullens on the splash page had me itching to aim further than the softcore fantasy of looking like Cameron Diaz…I was going for hardcore “undead.”  (As it turns out, I’m practically as pale as a vampire.  Sigh.  Ho-hum.) The program ran me through some rather extensive exercises in order to best make over my image.  I had to trace my eyes, my irises, my lips, my teeth…this wasn’t going to be some chintzy Yearbook Me application that would leave a line of demarcation between my face and the surrounding stock hairstyle of my choice.  If I were still doing the online dating thing, this makeover could potentially spit out a new free version of Glamour Shots for my online abuse.  Oh, the possibilities could be endless…all is fair in online love and war.

Believe me, looking like Bella, Rosalie, or Esme were not options.

As seen above, this is what I’d look like if I were Alice Cullen.  You would love me for my eyes, keen sense of style, and ability to see the future.  Yes, I’m cringing, too.  I don’t think I’ll use an undead photo of me for anything but this demonstration.  Wow.  As you see here, the makeover gives a few different tabs and I’m on the “Twilight Saga Movie Looks” one.  Lucky us…as we go, the site tells us how to get the look and what the products are that we used to achieve the look.  And the product prices.  And how to order them.  How handy.  Too bad the uploaded photos have sketchy color calibration and we don’t know if we’re matching the makeup to our own skin tones or to that of the cheap monitor we bought at Costco during the Black Friday sale last year.  I’m not saying, I’m just saying.  Looking at how I had to choose make up according to the colors in my uploaded photo, I won’t be investing in a whole new makeup wardrobe based on this application…tread lightly, InStyle, tread lightly.  Truth in advertising gets a little compromised when the makeup counter is DIY.

Sorry, I’m a stickler for aesthetics (pay no attention to the bad lighting in my last post that I didn’t bother to adjust in Photoshop before posting the photos).  I digress.

As you can see, in one click, I became Alice Cullen.  The next tab to the left of the Twilight tab had other one-click options but, let me tell you, nobody needs to see me turned into Alicia Keys in one fell swoop.  Eesh.  That one should’ve been about a four-click transformation to leave room for a few more options.  So, go with me all the way to the Hair tab, and that is where the makeover has us start from scratch.  It is at this point, that we pick a hairstyle from approximately 280 star styles.  Once the style is chosen, there are many alterations that can be made to make the style work for your particular head and face.  The hair colors, length, width, and placement are all adjustable…though it becomes quite clear quite quickly if “The Jennifer Aniston” was never supposed to be shared with this Andy Lien.  Believe me.

According to InStyle, once the hairstyle is determined, the eyes, lips, and skin are to follow.  I think that the order is off–it should’ve been Skin before Hair.  Because of the issue of coloring and monitor calibration, I’d rather have my complexion off on the right foot for the purpose of the makeover as my own hair color might not look right on me once I get my foundation to match my neck and erase the dark circles under my eyes via modern technology.  So, after a few false, really unattractive starts, I chose to go with one skin/eyes/lips look and only change the hairstyles for the remainder of the makeover.  I gave myself a light dusting of foundation and took away most of the undereye age evidence, applied a little pink to the cheeks, and went for a neutral eye treatment.  I wanted to look convincing, not theatrical.  And, though it gave the options of different eye colors via colored contacts, I found that I preferred my own eye color.  So there, online makeover self esteem.  Take that.

And off I went.

And here you go.

(I’ll admit that the eyebrows are a little thinner and the teeth are a little whiter, but other than that it’s all just face paint and wigs.)

After seeing the Many Faces of Andy, I hope you get a little work done yourself.  Not that I think you need it.  No, really.  You look great.  Oh, help.

One thing I can say for my tongue-tied defense is that I came away from the experience really kind of liking how I already look.  Sure, I might tweeze a little and pull the half-used box of White Strips out of the cupboard, but I’ll leave the everyday glamour makeovers to the real stars:

I probably have the attitude, I just need the offspring. Heck, neither of us have a husband.

Halloween is coming…and I’m feeling a little Hollywoody.

And broke.

Make Me Over, Hollywood Style

I’m a junkie for InStyle magazine.   It seems like a frivolous expense during this time of unemployment, but I found a $10 bill in the gutter the other day and promptly picked up a pristine copy of the periodical at my local candy store.  It was a clandestine purchase which yielded hours of enjoyment; many more than a quick sugar fix could.

I don’t know if InStyle’s editorial calendar timed this for Halloween or not, but I’d been in the makeover frame of mind lately.  Other folks are posting their costumes as well as those of their children and pets…and the mere suggestion of trying a Hollywood Makeover online a la InStyle.com had me practically running to my computer.  I typed in the URL address given in the magazine (www.instyle.com/makeover) and started my adventure.  My, was it a feast for the senses.

At first glance, I admit that I groaned.  Edward and Alice Cullen are the splash page models for the “Hollywood Makeover.”

Yes, I read the Twilight Series…and yes, there’s a little girl in me who fantasizes about being a Cullen…but no, I don’t want to makeover my nonexistent boyfriend to look like an eighteen year-old vampire or werewolf.  Shudder.  I can’t say I was expecting an option for male makeovers but, dear Y-chromosome bearing readers, you can get your butts off the bench and participate in this exercise, too.  In fact, you get 10 hairstyle templates to choose from, compared to the 285 hairstyles offered the women.  Oh, wait.  I shouldn’t have misled you.  Back to the bench.  Lest you think you’re being included, the site actually directs the audience to “Makeover Your Man!”  So, I guess you can take your chromosome and go home.  We’ll let you know what you’re going to look like in a couple of hours, after we post the new you on our Facebook page, your Facebook page, Twitter, MySpace, and our blog…as the Makeover Module will allow us to do with each of the options we explore.

Don’t worry–you won’t be embarrased, there are only so many looks for you.  You’ll either look like George Clooney or Robert Pattinson or Joe Jonas or President Obama or Will Smith or Zac Efron or McDreamy or Brad Pitt or Taylor Lautner or some kid named “Chace.”  See?  Nothing embarassing at all…except maybe the point to which we might manscape your brows (and the option only goes from original size to thin, thinner, and thinnest).  That there are eyeshadow colors and other makeup options for you male readers is something we don’t have to talk about here…you can just save your experimenting to the hard drive and we’ll never speak of it again.  If that’s what you want.  If you want to discuss the brows, though, the topic is always open.

Almonzo, now that I've made you over to look like a jailbait drag queen, I would like to call you "Manly."

Enough about you, back to me.  My turn.  InStyle.com gives a bunch of options for using models for the makeovers, but I didn’t find that any of them adequately represent me, Andy.  Happily, I chose the option to upload a picture of myself…once I had one to upload.  There are certain preparations I made for this project.  The specifications for providing my own photo included that it be a picture of me looking straight ahead with my hair back.  A light background was also a good idea; if I were to do it again, I would make sure I had more white space above my head for updos and spikes (see the cut-off InStyle cover…sorry Kate, don’t hit me).  As it was, I didn’t get to try out any Lady Gaga hairdos which, I’m sure, is what I would’ve chosen if I had my druthers.

After I’d showered, I refrained from putting on any makeup…not that I slather it on for my daily at-home audience of one (the canine better known as “Grendel”).  I picked a neutral shirt without much action around the neck to run interference.  Come to think of it, though, it was hardly a neutral shirt…it was by Ralph Lauren and I apologize for not boycotting his products in this time of controversy.  Kind of like vintage fur, I don’t like the fact that it exists in my closet…but since it does, I’ll use it.  And, I like the irony that he’s under fire for gross misuse of digital alterations in his product photography…and I’m wearing one of his pieces for an online makeover session (aka digital alterations).  Heh.  How do you like that, Ralph?  I’m a plus-size model, wearing your clothing, and not altering one inch of my body…only the width of my eyebrows.  Eat your heart out.

How I look in the morning...with the exception of the lack of bedhead.

Upon taking twenty five photos, I went with the first one in the photo shoot.  Of course.  Meanwhile, anyone passing by my apartment might think the tripod and camera flashes late on a Friday night might be indications of something more fun than a writing project.  Alas, no.  But, that’s not to say there wasn’t still plenty of fun to be had.

I’ll start with Alice.  I had to.  The Cullens on the splash page had me itching to aim further than the softcore fantasy of looking like Cameron Diaz…I was going for hardcore “undead.”  (As it turns out, I’m practically as pale as a vampire.  Sigh.  Ho-hum.) The program ran me through some rather extensive exercises in order to best make over my image.  I had to trace my eyes, my irises, my lips, my teeth…this wasn’t going to be some chintzy Yearbook Me application that would leave a line of demarcation between my face and the surrounding stock hairstyle of my choice.  If I were still doing the online dating thing, this makeover could potentially spit out a new free version of Glamour Shots for my online abuse.  Oh, the possibilities could be endless…all is fair in online love and war.

Believe me, looking like Bella, Rosalie, or Esme were not options.

As seen above, this is what I’d look like if I were Alice Cullen.  You would love me for my eyes, keen sense of style, and ability to see the future.  Yes, I’m cringing, too.  I don’t think I’ll use an undead photo of me for anything but this demonstration.  Wow.  As you see here, the makeover gives a few different tabs and I’m on the “Twilight Saga Movie Looks” one.  Lucky us…as we go, the site tells us how to get the look and what the products are that we used to achieve the look.  And the product prices.  And how to order them.  How handy.  Too bad the uploaded photos have sketchy color calibration and we don’t know if we’re matching the makeup to our own skin tones or to that of the cheap monitor we bought at Costco during the Black Friday sale last year.  I’m not saying, I’m just saying.  Looking at how I had to choose make up according to the colors in my uploaded photo, I won’t be investing in a whole new makeup wardrobe based on this application…tread lightly, InStyle, tread lightly.  Truth in advertising gets a little compromised when the makeup counter is DIY.

Sorry, I’m a stickler for aesthetics (pay no attention to the bad lighting in my last post that I didn’t bother to adjust in Photoshop before posting the photos).  I digress.

As you can see, in one click, I became Alice Cullen.  The next tab to the left of the Twilight tab had other one-click options but, let me tell you, nobody needs to see me turned into Alicia Keys in one fell swoop.  Eesh.  That one should’ve been about a four-click transformation to leave room for a few more options.  So, go with me all the way to the Hair tab, and that is where the makeover has us start from scratch.  It is at this point, that we pick a hairstyle from approximately 280 star styles.  Once the style is chosen, there are many alterations that can be made to make the style work for your particular head and face.  The hair colors, length, width, and placement are all adjustable…though it becomes quite clear quite quickly if “The Jennifer Aniston” was never supposed to be shared with this Andy Lien.  Believe me.

According to InStyle, once the hairstyle is determined, the eyes, lips, and skin are to follow.  I think that the order is off–it should’ve been Skin before Hair.  Because of the issue of coloring and monitor calibration, I’d rather have my complexion off on the right foot for the purpose of the makeover as my own hair color might not look right on me once I get my foundation to match my neck and erase the dark circles under my eyes via modern technology.  So, after a few false, really unattractive starts, I chose to go with one skin/eyes/lips look and only change the hairstyles for the remainder of the makeover.  I gave myself a light dusting of foundation and took away most of the undereye age evidence, applied a little pink to the cheeks, and went for a neutral eye treatment.  I wanted to look convincing, not theatrical.  And, though it gave the options of different eye colors via colored contacts, I found that I preferred my own eye color.  So there, online makeover self esteem.  Take that.

And off I went.

And here you go.

(I’ll admit that the eyebrows are a little thinner and the teeth are a little whiter, but other than that it’s all just face paint and wigs.)

After seeing the Many Faces of Andy, I hope you get a little work done yourself.  Not that I think you need it.  No, really.  You look great.  Oh, help.

One thing I can say for my tongue-tied defense is that I came away from the experience really kind of liking how I already look.  Sure, I might tweeze a little and pull the half-used box of White Strips out of the cupboard, but I’ll leave the everyday glamour makeovers to the real stars:

I probably have the attitude, I just need the offspring. Heck, neither of us have a husband.

I’m a junkie for InStyle magazine.   It seems like a frivolous expense during this time of unemployment, but I found a $10 bill in the gutter the other day and promptly picked up a pristine copy of the periodical at my local candy store.  It was a clandestine purchase which yielded hours of enjoyment; many more than a quick sugar fix could.

I don’t know if InStyle’s editorial calendar timed this for Halloween or not, but I’d been in the makeover frame of mind lately.  Other folks are posting their costumes as well as those of their children and pets…and the mere suggestion of trying a Hollywood Makeover online a la InStyle.com had me practically running to my computer.  I typed in the URL address given in the magazine (www.instyle.com/makeover) and started my adventure.  My, was it a feast for the senses.

At first glance, I admit that I groaned.  Edward and Alice Cullen are the splash page models for the “Hollywood Makeover.”

Yes, I read the Twilight Series…and yes, there’s a little girl in me who fantasizes about being a Cullen…but no, I don’t want to makeover my nonexistent boyfriend to look like an eighteen year-old vampire or werewolf.  Shudder.  I can’t say I was expecting an option for male makeovers but, dear Y-chromosome bearing readers, you can get your butts off the bench and participate in this exercise, too.  In fact, you get 10 hairstyle templates to choose from, compared to the 285 hairstyles offered the women.  Oh, wait.  I shouldn’t have misled you.  Back to the bench.  Lest you think you’re being included, the site actually directs the audience to “Makeover Your Man!”  So, I guess you can take your chromosome and go home.  We’ll let you know what you’re going to look like in a couple of hours, after we post the new you on our Facebook page, your Facebook page, Twitter, MySpace, and our blog…as the Makeover Module will allow us to do with each of the options we explore.

Don’t worry–you won’t be embarrased, there are only so many looks for you.  You’ll either look like George Clooney or Robert Pattinson or Joe Jonas or President Obama or Will Smith or Zac Efron or McDreamy or Brad Pitt or Taylor Lautner or some kid named “Chace.”  See?  Nothing embarassing at all…except maybe the point to which we might manscape your brows (and the option only goes from original size to thin, thinner, and thinnest).  That there are eyeshadow colors and other makeup options for you male readers is something we don’t have to talk about here…you can just save your experimenting to the hard drive and we’ll never speak of it again.  If that’s what you want.  If you want to discuss the brows, though, the topic is always open.

Almonzo, now that I've made you over to look like a jailbait drag queen, I would like to call you "Manly."

Enough about you, back to me.  My turn.  InStyle.com gives a bunch of options for using models for the makeovers, but I didn’t find that any of them adequately represent me, Andy.  Happily, I chose the option to upload a picture of myself…once I had one to upload.  There are certain preparations I made for this project.  The specifications for providing my own photo included that it be a picture of me looking straight ahead with my hair back.  A light background was also a good idea; if I were to do it again, I would make sure I had more white space above my head for updos and spikes (see the cut-off InStyle cover…sorry Kate, don’t hit me).  As it was, I didn’t get to try out any Lady Gaga hairdos which, I’m sure, is what I would’ve chosen if I had my druthers.

After I’d showered, I refrained from putting on any makeup…not that I slather it on for my daily at-home audience of one (the canine better known as “Grendel”).  I picked a neutral shirt without much action around the neck to run interference.  Come to think of it, though, it was hardly a neutral shirt…it was by Ralph Lauren and I apologize for not boycotting his products in this time of controversy.  Kind of like vintage fur, I don’t like the fact that it exists in my closet…but since it does, I’ll use it.  And, I like the irony that he’s under fire for gross misuse of digital alterations in his product photography…and I’m wearing one of his pieces for an online makeover session (aka digital alterations).  Heh.  How do you like that, Ralph?  I’m a plus-size model, wearing your clothing, and not altering one inch of my body…only the width of my eyebrows.  Eat your heart out.

How I look in the morning...with the exception of the lack of bedhead.

Upon taking twenty five photos, I went with the first one in the photo shoot.  Of course.  Meanwhile, anyone passing by my apartment might think the tripod and camera flashes late on a Friday night might be indications of something more fun than a writing project.  Alas, no.  But, that’s not to say there wasn’t still plenty of fun to be had.

I’ll start with Alice.  I had to.  The Cullens on the splash page had me itching to aim further than the softcore fantasy of looking like Cameron Diaz…I was going for hardcore “undead.”  (As it turns out, I’m practically as pale as a vampire.  Sigh.  Ho-hum.) The program ran me through some rather extensive exercises in order to best make over my image.  I had to trace my eyes, my irises, my lips, my teeth…this wasn’t going to be some chintzy Yearbook Me application that would leave a line of demarcation between my face and the surrounding stock hairstyle of my choice.  If I were still doing the online dating thing, this makeover could potentially spit out a new free version of Glamour Shots for my online abuse.  Oh, the possibilities could be endless…all is fair in online love and war.

Believe me, looking like Bella, Rosalie, or Esme were not options.

As seen above, this is what I’d look like if I were Alice Cullen.  You would love me for my eyes, keen sense of style, and ability to see the future.  Yes, I’m cringing, too.  I don’t think I’ll use an undead photo of me for anything but this demonstration.  Wow.  As you see here, the makeover gives a few different tabs and I’m on the “Twilight Saga Movie Looks” one.  Lucky us…as we go, the site tells us how to get the look and what the products are that we used to achieve the look.  And the product prices.  And how to order them.  How handy.  Too bad the uploaded photos have sketchy color calibration and we don’t know if we’re matching the makeup to our own skin tones or to that of the cheap monitor we bought at Costco during the Black Friday sale last year.  I’m not saying, I’m just saying.  Looking at how I had to choose make up according to the colors in my uploaded photo, I won’t be investing in a whole new makeup wardrobe based on this application…tread lightly, InStyle, tread lightly.  Truth in advertising gets a little compromised when the makeup counter is DIY.

Sorry, I’m a stickler for aesthetics (pay no attention to the bad lighting in my last post that I didn’t bother to adjust in Photoshop before posting the photos).  I digress.

As you can see, in one click, I became Alice Cullen.  The next tab to the left of the Twilight tab had other one-click options but, let me tell you, nobody needs to see me turned into Alicia Keys in one fell swoop.  Eesh.  That one should’ve been about a four-click transformation to leave room for a few more options.  So, go with me all the way to the Hair tab, and that is where the makeover has us start from scratch.  It is at this point, that we pick a hairstyle from approximately 280 star styles.  Once the style is chosen, there are many alterations that can be made to make the style work for your particular head and face.  The hair colors, length, width, and placement are all adjustable…though it becomes quite clear quite quickly if “The Jennifer Aniston” was never supposed to be shared with this Andy Lien.  Believe me.

According to InStyle, once the hairstyle is determined, the eyes, lips, and skin are to follow.  I think that the order is off–it should’ve been Skin before Hair.  Because of the issue of coloring and monitor calibration, I’d rather have my complexion off on the right foot for the purpose of the makeover as my own hair color might not look right on me once I get my foundation to match my neck and erase the dark circles under my eyes via modern technology.  So, after a few false, really unattractive starts, I chose to go with one skin/eyes/lips look and only change the hairstyles for the remainder of the makeover.  I gave myself a light dusting of foundation and took away most of the undereye age evidence, applied a little pink to the cheeks, and went for a neutral eye treatment.  I wanted to look convincing, not theatrical.  And, though it gave the options of different eye colors via colored contacts, I found that I preferred my own eye color.  So there, online makeover self esteem.  Take that.

And off I went.

And here you go.

(I’ll admit that the eyebrows are a little thinner and the teeth are a little whiter, but other than that it’s all just face paint and wigs.)

After seeing the Many Faces of Andy, I hope you get a little work done yourself.  Not that I think you need it.  No, really.  You look great.  Oh, help.

One thing I can say for my tongue-tied defense is that I came away from the experience really kind of liking how I already look.  Sure, I might tweeze a little and pull the half-used box of White Strips out of the cupboard, but I’ll leave the everyday glamour makeovers to the real stars:

I probably have the attitude, I just need the offspring. Heck, neither of us have a husband.

Re:Frame San Francisco – The Middle from Cristina Valdivieso + Jon Connor on Vimeo.

Well, a couple days have gone by since the wedding filmmaking conference has ended. I’m still very much feeding off of the excitement that the week gave me. I met some fantastic people there who are all as energized as I am.

Let’s just say I learned a massive amount about the wedding film industry. The most notable seminars besides Kevin Shahanian and Jasmine Star, who I blogged about previously, were those of Joe Simon, Jason Magbanua, David Robin, and Oleg Kalyan.

Joe Simon is a very inspirational filmmaker. He was kind enough to show us how he breaks down his shoots, down to the detail of using tape on the floor to set marks for the toasts. He’s also quite young, and completely on top of his game. This really motivated me to start diving into the wedding film industry and get myself out there.

Jason Magbanua, a top end Philipino wedding film director, shared with us his strategies for his wedding films and same day edits. But more importantly, he showed us his passion for what he does. He shared a story with us in which a typhoon hit the Philippines and he and his crew still went out to the wedding. In fact, he then used the news footage from the typhoon as a way to frame the day. The resulting video was an amazing blend of a reminder of the destruction mixed with the dream of the couple’s love. His passion is something I admire and I will continue to look to him for inspiration.

David Robin is probably one of the most respected pros in the industry. He has been making wedding films for over twenty five years as well as doing amazing 3D photo montages. He shared with us a list of twenty five things he has learned over the twenty five years. Every single one of them was insightful. They ranged from creative ideas to business management. It was a pleasure to learn from such an experienced pro.

And I thought I was a good editor… How about Oleg Kalyan, one of the most incredible wedding filmmakers I have ever met. The way he cuts his films together is a work of beauty. The Russian filmmaker showed one of the first weddings he ever edited. It was all in slow motion, over diffused, over saturated, and looked basically awful. Of course that was 10 years ago. He then showed us his recent work, and my mind was blown. His style is amazing. He uses a combination of fast cuts, ramped up footage, and sound design to create a monster of a video. Just today I was editing and referred to some of Oleg’s work for inspiration. My goodness he is good.

My final thoughts on Re:Frame. The conference was incredible. The people I met, the videos I saw, the closeness of the community all inspired me so much. However, I was disappointed by one thing. As a local, I opted to not stay in the hotel and commute to the conference. Early in the week I realized that most of the bonding between the top pro’s and some of the attendees was happening at night, at the hotel or on the streets of San Francisco. When I attend the next conference, I will absolutely book a hotel room, have a canon 5d Mk II, and spend more time mingling with those who I admire so greatly.

One more note: I need to thank my boss Jonathan Metcalf and MetMedia for giving me the opportunity to attend ReFrame. It was a pleasure to represent MetMedia.

The most flexible person in any interaction is the influencing factor.

There are no resistant people; there are only inflexible communicators.

I’ve been thinking about these words for a good week now. It appears I’ve had abundant opportunities to BE FLEXIBLE. How successful have I been? Who can say?

According to dictionary.com flexibility means:

(1) capable of being bent, usually without breaking; easily bent; a flexible ruler; (2) susceptible of modification or adaptation; adaptable; a flexible schedule; (3) willing or disposed to yield; pliable: a flexible personality; (4) a flexible substance or material, as rubber or leather.

That sounds good when thinking of trees blowing in the wind but how does a person be flexible? Is there such a thing as being too flexible? Can I get lost in the act of being flexible?

If I go out to dinner with friends and I want Mexican but others want Chinese, I can be flexible and agree to Chinese. If I am heading to Los Angeles and there is road construction on the path I intend to take, I can be flexible and find an alternate route.

What about things like peace, love, joy, and happiness? If I fall in love with someone how can I be certain to find the line between losing myself and being flexible? If it’s uncomfortable, I find myself ask the question, “How can I be even more flexible in any given situation with loved ones?” I am thinking now that I should reframe this to “How can I pay even greater attention to my vision, my passion, my being while remaining flexible in any given situation.” I’m working on this.

Re:Frame San Francisco Day One Highlights from Scott Karlins on Vimeo.

Well seeing as how I only got about ten hours of sleep this last weekend, I’m a little bit tired coming out of the first day of Re:Frame. However, my fatigue has had no impact on how inspired I am.

Today I met so many great people who share the same passion as I do. Going into Re:Frame, I was a little worried about the atmosphere being a little competitive. I thought that people would be trying to top each other, bragging about their work, and concealing their struggles. This was not the case at all. I found that every single person I met was not only extremely humble, but also highly accessible.

The first seminar was by Kevin Shahinian and was centered on the idea of using filmmaking storytelling in weddings. Rather than the standard documentation of a wedding day, we need to approach it as if we are showing a story. When we look at it like that, we start to create a more inspired and moving piece. So the first lesson I learned is that from here on out we are making wedding films.

To make a wedding film, we need to make it look like we control in environment we are shooting in. It needs to look like our shots are pre-planned, and almost as if we have taken multiple takes. The difficulty is that we are shooting a wedding and we only get one chance at each moment.

Overall, Kevin really inspired me with his talk. He reminded me that I want to show a couples story. I want to show their love. It’s not about capturing a moment forever, it’s about capturing a feeling forever. I feel like I am very capable of doing this, as I was one of the only people in the room who has a film school background.

The next speaker was Jasmine Star, the blog master. She is probably the most accomplished blogger in the wedding industry. She told us about her approach to booking clients and how to create an online image that really sells “You.”

I’ve known how important blogging is. I, of course, started mine a few months ago as a result of seeing the impact it has had on the industry. She had some very interesting ideas on how to best have an online presence. Also, as we were in the middle of the seminar, I signed up for my twitter account! I’m not a huge fan of the name and the whole “tweet” thing. But the truth is it’s worth it. Anything us professionals can do to have more of an online presence is time well spent. My twitter is here! Help me get started!

The last part of the day was an elective. I chose the elective that centered on Wedding Concept Videos. The speaker was Lloyd Calomay, an accomplished wedding concept filmmaker. His idea was new to me. He does spoofs of real movies, re-enacted with the bride, groom, and their family and friends. Exciting! The films themselves looked a little under produced, but the writing was great. I feel like if I were to try the same thing, my films would have more production value but would probably lack in the writing. It looks like a fun idea and I would love to try it out soon.

Well, I am tired. I will be bringing my camera tomorrow so I can share with all of you what it looks like to hang out with the best. The first day was fantastic, and I am excited to meet more Re:Framers and learn more about our industry!

I’m here in San Francisco at the Re:Frame Collective, a week long conference with the best wedding filmmakers in the world. We’re gathering to collaborate with others and talk about Marketing, Production, Workflow and basically everything else regarding video.

Some of the top industry pros we are hearing from are Jasmine Star, Phillip Bloom, and Kevin Shaninian, people whose work I admire and whose strategies I admire more.

I will be blogging each night; reflecting on people I have met, what I’ve learned, and what my ideas are for what’s to come. Stay tuned for photos, video, and all the other good stuff. What an exciting week!

I don’t often lie when I have numerous witnesses…so here is proof that I was in a Circus.

I Told You So…

Here is newly unearthed proof that I am not a liar.  This time.  In my parents’ basement bookcase of years and years worth of incriminating evidence against me, I found photos of my first and only official Circus performance.  The 24 years since have just been three rings of amateur acts, but just as entertaining and clownish nonetheless.

I hate clowns.

Enjoy.

Christmas, 1984. It was an adult size, smallest available. That's the last time I've worn that size, I think. My mother said laughingly something about how I didn't quite fill out the bodice. Um, no.

Spring, 1985. Sasquatch. How wide is a balance beam? If you double that, you get my shoe size.

I wasn't too far off with the 300% guesstimate. I hate numbers.

Yo Mama.

For the original story behind what I’m not lying about, click here.

Truly, I haven’t been in hiding.  Well, not for the last two-and-a-half weeks, at any rate.  I’ve been busy being unemployed.  It’s alarming how much time being unemployed takes out of a day when you’re used to being attached to a computer keyboard and its internet by the fingertips.  Staggering, really.  But, lately, I’ve had the harebrained idea that I should wait to post something until I can do my big New Website Reveal as if this were some Extreme Makeover show…but it’s a bit slow in the development.  Do you know how hard it is to design a logo for yourself?  A website?  Its structure?  Its own design identity with fonts and colors and do-hickeys and do-dads?  It’s hard.  So, I will post here during the angst-filled time of transition to the new AndyLien.com.

What have I been up to for over a month?  Oh, so much.  Today I’m going to go paint the bedroom of one of my Godchildren in somewhat rural Minnesota.  Last month, I stripped wallpaper at the same location…I can’t say I’ll ever do that again.  I’ve designed a CD cover, three websites, and a birthday card.  The birthday card was pure frip-frappery, but it’s something that is like whipped cream on my day.  I’m learning some new software and hoping to be able to purchase some of it after the 30-day trial period.  I whacked up my foot and ankle by taking a stride on what turned out to be an asleep (and upside-down) foot…a trip to the doctor which was right on the heels (ahem) of a trip to the Emergency Room for what I thought was certain death but turned out to be a bona fide Panic Attack.*

I’ve babysat and had new business meetings…redecorated my apartment and fought with three separate Internet Service Providers.  I hid at the cabin and read all 973 pages of “The Pillars of the Earth” by Ken Follet.  My Netflix movies don’t sit around for a month before I get to them…instead, I’ve been averaging a turnover rate of about three a week.  That’s significant progress.  I did the day-coordination of a friend’s wedding and made the best roasted tomatillo salsa in Minnetonka, Minnesota (with a hint of burnt parchment paper in the flavor).  I survived the wettest and coldest trip to the Boundary Waters  Canoe Area Wilderness…which was no small feat considering the constant dripping of water and dropping of temperature we endured.

My annual trip around Lake Pepin occurred this weekend and I’ll be participating in my 9th Annual Cabin Weekend with Friends next weekend…whether or not any are able to attend.  There’s principle at stake here.  I met Dan Wilson of Semisonic following his concert at the Dakota last weekend and have renewed my crush on that dear Grammy-winning songwriter/singer.  I got a library card!  I have spent time reconnecting with people by opening my home to whomever wants to stop over whenever…partial funding for meals coming from an overabundance of CSA produce while I shouldered the burden of using all the food in our “Grande” box while Eric and Pierre were in Turkey for a couple CSA Tuesdays.

My business connections are strong.  I wrote and art directed over twenty pages of a book that was just released last month and attended that party…the best parts of the party being the great time I got to spend with my former bosses and colleagues just shooting the shit.  A connection that I created between a friend at a large local corporation and my First Boss Ever turned into a very nice production project for my First Boss…which is a better feeling than getting a handful of cash any day.  I’ve generated some buzz and excitement about my new website coming up and plan to make it into a viable revenue generator sooner than later (more on that later).  And, I’ll be doing some bit-piece contract work for local folks in the architecture/building/interior design industry who are eager to work with me since they’ve found out that I’m “on the loose” and not tethered and loyal to one company any longer.  My ego is swimming in warm waters, professionally, and I’m excited to see what’s on the horizon.

For now, I’m still in Minnesota.  I love it here.  I am at home here.  I may not stay where I’m living in Minnetonka as it is a bit spendy for the lifestyle (okay…paycheck) of a floundering visionary artiste (okay…unemployed freelancer) but I’m open to options.  I’ve gotten some job postings from Carson in the Bay Area but hadn’t been quite ready to dip my toe into the talent pool for a full-time job until now…which is only out of necessity than career advancement.

So, friends, I’m here.  I’m around.  I’m working around the clock all seven days per week…just not in consecutive hours.  I am still living The Improvised Life and I’m not hating it.  At all.

Now, off to paint the bedroom of one of my favorite girls in the world (nod to you if you start humming a certain song by Harry Connick, Jr.).

Have a fabulous Monday.

Andy

*I have never seen a Public Service Announcement for Panic Attacks, but if I were to produce one, it would be as simple as: “If you have symptoms of death such as not being able to breathe, a racing pulse, a tingling and pasty pale face, a cold sweat, a bone dry mouth, light-headedness to the point of passing out, ridiculous confusion, BUT NO PAIN ANYWHERE…you are suffering a Panic Attack.  You will not, in fact, stop breathing if you close your eyes.  Get a grip.  Slow your breathing.  Take inventory of your life and quit fucking around.  It’ll help.  Immediately.”

Lisa and her Boys

Although I have struggled with my weight my entire life, in my teens, 20’s and early 30’s, I was reasonably fit and active.  Then Life happened, and I chose to cope in self destructive ways.  By the time I’d seen the big 4-0 come and go, I had stopped beating myself up, and wanted to live a happy, balanced life again.  I discovered Genesis Transformation at precisely the right time – I had spent significant energy on emotional healing, and was ready to start healing my body; although, at the time, I didn’t identify my desire in those terms.  I simply wanted to lose weight.  When I started my GT journey in August 2008, I wasn’t just overweight, I was obese – and then some.  I had a BMI of 40, my cholesterol was nearing 300, I had chronic lower back problems, depression, acne, and I had stopped participating in life because I was mortified by my appearance.  I had stopped caring about things like my hairstyle and makeup and clothes, because from my perspective, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.
Fast forward 14 months. I haven’t reached my goal yet, but have made significant progress.  Although it’s tempting, I’m not going to rattle off a laundry list of statistics, even though they blow my mind.  Instead, I want to share a little about what it has been like living in a state of transformation.
In the beginning, I was all about the fat loss.  I viewed my health as a by-product of losing weight.  Somewhere along the way, my mindset changed.  Now I view the fat loss as a by-product of having a healthy body that is receiving all of the care it needs:  clean fuel, water, exercise, and rest.  I’d be totally delusional if I claimed that seeing the number on the scale go down doesn’t get me psyched, but this process involves so much more than losing weight.
Anyone involved in the transformation process knows that it’s not always easy.  The challenges we face are both external and internal, but I find the internal struggles to be the most interesting and challenging.  I’ve found that I have to focus on just how cool this process is, even when people unintentionally try to put a negative spin on it.  For example, it’s not unusual for someone respond to my declining a donut by commenting “Oh, that’s right.  You can’t have donuts.”    I always respond by politely correcting them that although I can, I choose not to have donuts.  By saying this out loud, I reframe the scenario as being positive.  After all, choosing gives me power, while being denied a donut gives my power away.  Routinely reminding myself that I’m choosing this lifestyle has allowed me to continue to build on that sense of power and confidence without feeling deprived.  Granted, this process isn’t all rainbows and puppy dogs, but when I’m tempted to skip my cardio or give in to the impulse to sample a cookie, I always ask myself one question:  “How bad do you want It?”  “It”, for me, is defined as the healthy, active, vibrant life I’ve always envisioned for myself.   The choice then becomes pretty easy.  Interestingly, my choices seem to have a compounding effect – if I’ve chosen my goal over the impulse 104 times this month, it becomes that much easier to make the right choice the 105th time.
The impact that GT has had on my life is hard to describe.  There is no question that this process has dramatically improved my

Lisa

overall health and well being, and at the risk of sounding corny, I’m grateful for having found GT and all of the amazing, inspiring people who are involved.  I can give you all the statistics, and we can measure the changes in my body in a number of ways, but I’ll give you just one:  a BMI of 26.5 instead of 40.  As you can imagine, that has had a dramatic effect on my appearance, and friends and colleagues have been generous with compliments.  However, the greatest compliment I’ve received to date came from a nurse who visits our office.  She inquired about my secret to successful weight loss, and after listening to my story, she looked at me in amazement – not at the size of my body, but at my eyes – and commented that it was as if she were meeting me for the first time; that I seemed to “have this energy” and be lit from within.
THAT is the power of transformation.

Do you remember a time in your childhood when you were excited about doing something? Maybe you were going to play at your best friend’s house, to spend a day at the amusement park, to open a new box of crayons … or maybe it was to do something else. I remember how excited I was about going to see Walt Disney’s 101 Dalmatians. If someone had asked me why I was so happy, I would have responded, “I get to go see 101 Dalmatians!” My mother was taking me to see a movie about dogs, and I was delighted. My mother, on the other hand, may have been thinking, “Darn, today is the day I have to take Laurie to the movies.” (Knowing my mother, she probably wanted to see 101 Dalmatians.)

Today, take time to listen to what you are saying to yourself and to others. How do you feel about doing the things on your calendar? Do your thoughts sound like any of the following?

I have to pick up the dry cleaning this afternoon.

I can’t take time off next week; I have too much work to do.

I have to go to lunch with a colleague I can’t stand?

I can’t change my career. I have to pay the mortgage.

If you hear yourself say “I have to” or “I can’t,” stop and ask if what you’re saying is absolutely true.  

Shortly after I started practicing law, I bought a house. It’s a small house, but I love it dearly. My home has been an avenue for self-expression; each room is a reflection of who I am. It would be painful for me to give it up.

Although the law is a wonderful profession, I was never happy as a practicing attorney. Every time I thought about leaving the profession, however, the same thought occurred. “I can’t quit my job. I have to pay the mortgage!” I jokingly named my home “The Albatross.” I was joking, but the mortgage did feel like a very large ball and chain.  

Was it absolutely true that I could not quit my job or that I had to pay the mortgage? No. Although working in a law firm felt like prison, I wasn’t actually incarcerated. I could have marched into the managing attorney’s office screaming “Take this job and shove it!” Although the practice of law was suffocating me in a sense, I still was able to breathe. And although I might have become homeless, failing to pay my mortgage was not going to kill me. In truth, I chose to practice law to afford certain conveniences. I chose to pay my mortgage to avoid the unpleasant circumstances of selling my home, or even worse, foreclosure.

Why is it important to make this distinction? It’s important because when you “have to” or you “can’t, you are a victim of your circumstances. When you “choose” to do or not to do something, you come from a place of empowerment. Reframing how we see things in this way enables us to be more positive about our circumstances and the choices we make.

In my creativity coach training, I learned to take this one step further. What if I don’t just choose to do something, but I “get to” do it instead? What if I see paying my mortgage in the same light I saw going to 101 Dalmatians all those years ago?

The thought that paying my mortgage is something I “get to” do seems ludicrous at first. As I think about it more, however, I realize that it’s true. I’m fortunate to live in a country where owning my own home isn’t just a dream but a possibility. I’m fortunate to earn enough money to pay a mortgage. I’m fortunate to be able to express myself in how I decorate each room. How can I think about paying my mortgage as an imposition, when really it is a privilege?

I’m excited about the first day of next month. I’m excited because I get to pay my mortgage!

When I first learned I had fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, I was very angry. A terrible villain had stolen my life, and “Poor Me” was an innocent victim. My pain was real, the fatigue was overwhelming, and I couldn’t help but wonder “Why me?” Particularly unfair, my family didn’t believe that my fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue were real. This hurt me deeply, and “Poor Me” became even more of a victim. I wanted everyone to understand how difficult life was for me. I wanted them to feel as sorry for me as I did for myself. Before I knew it, I was trapped in the story of “Poor Me.”  The story didn’t serve me, but I had no idea how to extricate myself from its pain.

Around this time, I heard about a woman named Tama Kieves. Like me, she was an attorney who had left the practice of law. Tama had written a wonderful book called This Time I Dance about the trials and tribulations she experienced when she left a “socially accepted” profession to follow her heart and pursue the life she was meant to live. Interestingly, Tama ended up becoming a life and creativity coach.

I learned that Tama and I lived in the same city and that she taught a weekly group on A Course In Miracles. For reasons that weren’t exactly clear to me, I signed up for her CIM group. I had no idea about what to expect, but I thought “What the heck.”

Tama held the group in her home. The warmth and charm of the house were very inviting. Also, the CIM participants were friendly and open.  I instantly felt at home and knew that signing up for Tama’s group was a good decision.  What I didn’t know was how life changing the group would be. On the first night, we discussed the choice we have in perceiving circumstances.  We may not be able to change our circumstances, but we have a choice in how we see them.  This lesson blew me away. I was in my forties, and it had never really occurred to me that I could see my life circumstances – particularly the fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue – differently.

After that first meeting, I thought a great deal about how I could reframe the way I perceive my fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue.  In the process, I realized that as disabling as they are, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue have, in fact, been gifts to me. They forced me to give up a career I never enjoyed and to reevaluate my life. I realized that I wanted to make a difference, to help people one-on-one, and to follow a more creative path.  But for the fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, I never would have become a life and creativity coach; I never would have pursued this career that I love.

Fortunately, there are many tools that can help us reframe the way we perceive things. We can ask ourselves the following questions about difficult circumstances: “How can I see these circumstances differently?” and “Where is the gift in these circumstances?” There also are several wonderful methods of self-inquiry that help us dissolve painful or limiting beliefs about our circumstances. Martha Beck provides such tools in her book Steering by Starlight. Byron Katie explains her method of self-inquiry called THE WORK in her book Loving What Is; she also demonstrates this method on her website. Another resource is Brooke Castillo’s MP3 Self-Coaching 101. You can download this MP3 for free on her website.    

We may not always be able to change difficult or painful circumstances, but we can change how we perceive them. Changing our perception in this way makes it easier to live with or work through those circumstances we can’t change.  

 Tama Kieves’ website:

 http://www.awakeningartistry.com/calendar.html

Byron Katie’s website: http://www.thework.com/index.asp  

Brooke Castillo’s website: http://www.brookecastillo.com/

Martha Beck’s website: http://www.marthabeck.com/

Do you fear that you’ll stop being creative if you start being organized? Are you a writer who never finds the time to finish that article? Are you a  musician with no time to practice with the band?

It doesn’t have to be that way.Let’s get the projects done and ideas implemented.  Let’s reFRAMe. reframe is a  productivity system for creative people. This summer myself Jodi Carter, Professional Organizer and Heather Jassy, Life coach/counselor created a program to help creative people get productive.

reframe is a simple productivity system built specifically for creative people, especially people for whom past productivity systems have not worked. Creative people thrive when they have reminders, deadlines, routines, color, and a unique combination of structure and open space.

BY THE END OF THIS PROGRAM, YOU WILL HAVE

• a system for keeping your desk organized
• a visual to-do system that utilizes writing, color, and cool gadgetry
• a system for keeping your email inbox clear and organized
• systems for bringing new energy and focus to your current projects
• time blocks set aside to generate and cultivate new ideas and feed your imagination
• a flexible system of time management with alarms and reminders to keep you on track

To purchase or for more information go to www.reframeproductivity.com

• Check out our Facebook group to enter contests and gain great productivity tips.
• Follow us on Twitter: www.twitter.com/reframeprogram

H E L  L O   — The message below was sent to the participants of the Facebook event - 21 Days of No Complaining on day 6 of our journey together.  See event details here.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Hello there!

Suggested Activities for today:

1) Identify one situation or person in your life that you consider a challenge or negative or bothersome….FIND one thing that is useful or positive about it or them.

2) Write about that one thing you thought about

3) Give out 5 compliments today – 1 to yourSELF, 1 to a family member, 1 to your closest friend in the whole world!, 1 to a person you work or learn with and 1 to a person at your place of worship or the community at large.

Make these compliments very specific and of course they must be completely sincere!

Wishing you all the best there is in life! I am so filled with love and appreciation for this group of people – a group of 1200+ of you have signed on to make a positive difference in the world by becoming aware of personal habits around negativity! How cool is that!!

How totally POSITIVE is that!?

So I am inspired beyond words.

Stay in touch, share your insights and spread the love…

Peace, Love & Light

Julette Millien

♥♥♥

P.S. Here are the previous messages:

http://bit.ly/2MG9zM Day 5 Message

http://bit.ly/1UgCtw Day 4 Message

http://bit.ly/BPXo3 Day 3 Message

http://bit.ly/O3MtF Day 2 Message

http://bit.ly/afDOt Day 1 Message

http://bit.ly/jIa2V Getting Ready – some vital suggestions

Posted by SHELLEY BRUCAR

The most often-visited posts on my blog so far are the three on Reframing for Negative Thinking (May 15, May 27 and June 19, 2009).  I have always believed that these tools really work, and I hope they are working for you!  Just wanted to share that the first article in today’s NY Times Latest News was about a new program for the military to teach troops REFRAMING in order to help prevent/cope with Post Traumatic Stress, Depression and Anxiety.

And here are 2 new pieces just finished for “Midwest Meditations”, a Fiber Artists Coalition exhibit which will start at the Bloomingdale Park District Museum, July – August, 2010.  Fabric for both pieces is dyed, over-dyed, screened and discharged.

Turtle Crossing I.  Fiber Art by Shelley Brucar

Turtle Crossing II.  Fiber Art by Shelley Brucar

Have you ever responded to something and regretted it almost the moment you said it, you know – “why did I say that?”, or “oh my goodness, that just came out so wrong?” It can happen so quickly, and have such consequences too, can’t it? Particularly on the business stage. This is why I teach all my clients the concept of “the gap” or what some call “hitting the pause button”.

What do I mean by “ the gap”? I once asked a monk what is and how do you meditate. He said: “you know the gap between one thought finishing and the next one starting? Prolong it….. That’s meditation”.
I could relate to that. Just being and breathing. No thoughts.

It is this “just allowing a gap” that I recommend you to utilize so you create time to think about a response for a few seconds before you make it.

So before you react in anger or under pressure or out of being confronted next time, why not allow yourself a space to reflect before you answer or respond? It doesn’t have to be a long time – just a pause. One that’s quite socially acceptable in the realms of normal conversation. People will also think more highly of that response given the amount of time you gave to considering it before you made it.

Think of the gap – prolong it – and use it to ask yourself: “is this the only way I can respond to this situation?” Then let your unconscious mind give you some options to make the right response.

This selection of “the right response” leads us to a concept called a reframe which is simply looking for other ways of looking at something – seeking a different perspective by asking, “What other ways are there of looking at this?”

I have learned to ask in the gap before my more important responses:
• “What outcome do I want?”
• “Which responses may best serve to get it?”

When I look back on this I realize I have been using this for a long time in my leadership roles. For example if I was confronted by an angry staff member or vendor etc I’d often ask: “is this the only way we can look at this?”
In tricky or unfamiliar situations I also learned to ask myself “who do I know that would be good at this and how might they respond?”

Later in this series, when we talk about diplomacy, one fundamental we will cover is to create a gap to consider how what we are about to say, might affect the feelings of the person we are talking to, before we say it.

Also, a reframe can be very powerfully used to return us to being “at cause” if we may have lapsed into any “PLOM” (Poor Little Old Me) thinking in that we can apply the same technique to create a gap and ask ourselves: ”what different ways might there be of thinking about this?”

Let me give you anexample: one of my technical clients was worried about taking on a new leadership role, concerned about whether he could cope with the demands his new subordinates might place on him. I asked him to think back to the birth of his first child and what the colour the “user manual” was that came with its delivery. He smiled, recalling how well he coped with one of life’s more demanding requirements. With that we managed to “reframe” his thinking about that situation.

As leaders, it is incumbent upon us to adopt the right attitude and behaviour before those we lead, to inspire and to lead them. To do that we need to maintain our attitude “at cause”. In the often black and white or right or wrong approach in our “hard skilled business world”, using the gap, we can create the necessary space to consider and select the best response for each situation. Using that gap to reframe questions or outcomes that might initially be perceived as a negative, can often allow us to find ways of looking for and influencing the positive or constructive in them instead.

Whilst maybe feeling strange or unfamiliar to start with, if you remind yourself  to practice the gap and the reframe, you will master its use unconsciously and it will become a “soft skill” that helps differentiate you from other “hard skilled” professionals. Why not “have a go” and see how well it works for you? Most of my clients swear by it.

Ah, what a weekend.

What a SUNDAY.  I was debating what to do on my “Sunday Off” for much of the weekend; in fact, I was still debating it until I went to sleep last night.  Friday’s post detailed all of the options I could’ve chosen yesterday and, I won’t lie, I was trying to make it a difficult decision for anyone weighing in on the issue.  Why?  Because it’s always difficult for me.

I was reframing. You see, the impetus for me laying out my weekend for some third-person consideration was to generate a little bit of excitement in the process.  Usually, I’m staring down the barrel of deciding my future, blowing woefully into my popped and deflated paper party horn, thinking, “Yay.  Another decision I get to make for myself.”  Woo-hoo.  Self-pity sets in that I have no “dedicated person or people” in my life to share the days and nights…and I usually choose cable.  No, it’s not my default response to watch TV when in a cycle of self-pity, but it works as a free solution that really is rather harmless. So, by putting twelve…or seventeen…or thirty options out there on Friday, I was trying to spin it into an interesting/I’m exciting/you want to hang out with me/don’t you just want to be me situation.  No, not really.  I was mostly just trying to look forward to Sunday, somehow.  Historically, I don’t like to do things by myself.

As Sunday approached, I started whittling down my options.  Money was spent on Saturday, so Sunday should be as free as possible.  Antiquing, the Pride Parade, and the Farmer’s Market aren’t as fun solo and don’t involve dogs.  Since Grendel was crated much of Saturday, he deserved to get in some good exercise and fresh air on Sunday.  I didn’t quite have the intestinal fortitude to go to church.  The CSA roadtrip meant that I spent a tank of gas on Saturday, so Franconia, Stillwater, the arboretum, Vacation Land, and Taylor’s Falls were out.  Working on the deductive reasoning, that pretty much left walking, coffee, and MIA, Lakewood Cemetery, movies, and St. Anthony for consideration.

The Minneapolis Institute of Arts was indoors which would be a shame on such an idyllic day, nix.

I was at St. Anthony and went to a movie the night before, nix and nix.

Walking and coffee are a matter of course, so those were in…but for a Main Attraction, Lakewood Cemetery it would be.

Andy’s Sunday:  Woke up and lolled around.  Made a lovely breakfast with eggs, stale French bread, ham, scallions, and white cheddar cheese with a sprinkling of smoked paprika and a deep, dark, creamy cup of coffee.  Threw on rags and piled Grendel into the Jeep.  Took Minnetonka Mills by storm, letting him climb all over the place, snurfle through all the long grass, wade into the marsh, and then clean off in Minnehaha Creek.  We walked to my favorite (suburban) Dunn Bros. on Minnetonka Boulevard and enjoyed a leisurely cup of Kenya in the sun on the sidewalk.  Grendel mostly behaved.  Upon returning home, I showered and got ready for the day of adventure, opting for an outfit with cropped cargo pants over carrying a purse.  Gasp.  I was Ms. Adventure and I would not be weighed down by the trappings of femininity.

I loaded ID, cash, debit card, and lip balm in one pocket with the other pocket carrying gum, camera, and keys.  My pants were riding low due to the cargo.  Red undies were the wrong choice.  Smokes were in the Jeep (sigh).  I was excited.  I was thrilled that I had made a decision and it seemed to be a good one.  Sure, I’d never been there before, but what could be so scary about a cemetery during daylight?

I hopped into the Jeep.  The Skyslider Roof was retracted, Los Straitjackets were playing on MPR’s The Current, and–best of all–I remembered to wear my pink bucket hat so I wouldn’t burn my scalp to a painful crisp.  I was aimed and ready to fire.  Solitary Sunday was going full speed.

Sunday continued…but this post will not.  Not right now, at any rate.  To do justice to my experience at Lakewood Cemetery, I have to spend a little more time on it than the time this took to write and post…which is all I have today.

Check back soon.  Until then, let my photo of a monument at Lakewood speak to the beauty of a solitary woman.  Something I forget to notice too often, myself.

Rollins Memorial.