Tonight I showed my class the movie Reign Over Me.

Highly Recommend.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0490204/

Continuing on the series of excellent, serious films with comics in lead, here’s another one.

What defines a man? Is it his bank balance, the house he buys or the car he drives? Or is it his job? The smart ones would disagree with all that and tell you it is the friends and family that make a man, not his bank account, or his car or even the house. A man could lose all his money, his house, his car, his job, but if he has his family and friends with him, he’s gonna come through any amount of difficult time with ease. And that’s what the most experienced of men would tell you. But what happens of a man who has all the money in the world, a great job, a beautiful house in one of the most amazing cities in the world, but has lost all those dear to him. How does life change for him? This is definitely one of the most difficult questions and one that nobody would like to learn about through a personal experience or watch it happen to someone very close to them.

Dr. Alan Johnson (played by Don Cheadle) gets a chance to watch it happen to a very close, old friend Charlie Fineman. Dr. Charlie Fineman, who has lost his wife and three daughters in the 9/11 attacks, was Alan’s roommate in college. Johnson found out about Fineman’s loss through the network of friends from dental college that both attended as younger men. Johnson remembers Fineman as a man full of life, his best friend. Johnson runs into Fineman on the street one day, a couple of years after the Manhattan incident and is shocked at Fineman’s behavior, his refusal to even recognize his old college roommate. Johnson finds out that Fineman is living out a strange life – playing video games, banging on drums at a shady night club and constantly listening to loud music, tuning out the world and his tragedy from his thoughts. Johnson sees that he’s hurting inside and decides to help him out. What he does not realize is that he himself is looking for a reason to find meaning his own life with his wife and two daughters.

Adam Sandler as Charlie Fineman, Reign Over Me (2007)

Charlie Fineman is played marvelously by none other than Adam Sandler. Yes! Adam Richard Sandler. Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, Adam Sandler. And it would be an understatement to say that he was brilliant in portraying the man who has nothing to live for and yet is somehow alive, breathing, hardly ever talking to anyone, living in his own little world of a shady night club, banging on drums with the band, riding his motorized scooter, playing video games to the point that his eyes start to hurt and still going on and on with it, trying to lose himself in what’s left of his existence and tuning out the hurt and pain from the overwhelming loss of his loved ones.

Never could I imagine a man like Sandler in a role so complex, something which he actually glided through it with relative ease. A must watch, especially if you hated any of Adam Sandler’s earlier performances.

Watched the above film “Reign Over Me” on Sky last Saturday night and immediately bought it from Amazon.

It is the kind of film that Fiona would have loved, but we didn’t ever watch it as she like me was not particularily keen on Adam Sandler who to us seemed to play the same kind of role in every film he starred in.

This time however he is brilliant and it is often hard to believe it is him playing the part.

The title of the film is taken from The Who’s “Love Reign O’er Me” which is performed by Pearl Jam for the theme tune as below.

“Love Reign O’er Me” – Pearl Jam

Amazon.com
One of the first films to examine the aftermath of post- 9/11 New York City, Reign Over Me shows how much even indirect contact with those who lost loved ones in the tragedy can greatly affect. Like rings of debris spiraling out from an explosion, Charlie Fineman’s (Adam Sandler) loss also devastates his in-laws, who he refuses to speak to, and ex-college roommate, Alan Johnson. Reign Over Me stars Johnson, a successful dentist with a gorgeous wife, Janeane (Jada Pinkett Smith) and two kids, who finds Charlie reverted back into a teenage wasteland, unable to face his unbearable sadness. Sandler as Charlie looks like Bob Dylan and acts like Dustin Hoffman in his great dramatic performance. Listening to The Who and The Boss through headphones, playing video games, and continually remodeling his kitchen, Fineman’s escapism disturbs Johnson, who, in turn, feels squelched by his stiflingly normal lifestyle. As the two reacquaint, Johnson is the only person who can help save Fineman from self-obliteration. The story analyzes Post Traumatic Stress with some accuracy, though excess sentimentality undermines emotional scenes. Survivor’s guilt, assessing mental illness, and absolute incapacitation due to grief are all topics covered within the bounds of the enduring friendship forged between these two men. Ultimately, Reign Over Me’s message is one of compassion, as a reminder to treat victims of loss with patience and care. But interestingly, it also pays heed to smaller human tribulations, which are obstacles to healing when left untreated. –Trinie Dalton

 To buy “Reign Over Me” soundtrack CD or DVD click HERE

Depending on my mood, I like depressing movies. If I’m in a bad mood, I’ll want to watch a movie about people being killed and dismembered and what a friend of mine calls “wrist-slashingly good”. I don’t want to go too far into talking about any other movies than – well, than the ones I want to talk about right now. But, I’m sure in the future posts will appear for these movies, including BLINDNESS, CHILDREN OF MEN, SAVING PRIVATE RYAN and REQUIEM FOR A DREAM. 

And while, all of these movies are fantastic, and mostly are capable of bringing me to the verge or tears – I watched a couple today that really hit me where I needed hit. In the heart. The two movies I’m going to go over today were funny, poignant, a little schmaltzy and sad. They made my eyes water (just a little bit) and made my heart ache, like the real, lonely loser, I am. They both focus on characters that, even though surrounded by people (in the vastness of New York City) are alone at the beginning. Both main characters have suffered a loss in their lives – one through an unknown set of circumstances and the other as a victim of September 11. Both movies end on a high note, with the characters having grown, or learned a lesson or just have kind of stopped being jerks. 

The first movie to talk about – which is timely with it’s lead performer having just lost his nomination for Leading Actor at the Academy Awards – is THE VISITOR, starring Richard Jenkins and written and directed by Thomas McCarthy. The movie also stars a number of Middle-Eastern and African actors, including Haaz Sleiman as Tarek; Danai Jeskesai Gurira as Zainab and Hiam Abbass as Mouna. 

The movie starts with Jenkins’ character, Walter, going through the motions at his job as a Professor in Connecticut – attending meetings, denying student’s papers that come with lame excuses and sitting at home alone sipping his wine. He’s assigned to travel to New York City to read a paper that he co-authored – although he admits that he really just added his name for the other person’s benefit – and hesitantly goes, late one night coming into the apartment he has seemingly also kept in the city, although not actually habitated in for some time. 

He realizes something is amiss when there are fresh flowers in the vases, and lights on in the bedroom, albeit they’re empty. The story really gets started when he opens the bathroom door to find a woman bathing and is then grabbed by the woman’s boyfriend. It is soon worked out that the people currently living in the apartment are actually the intruders and they pack their things to leave. 

The fact that Walter invites these people, who are obviously immigrants to the United States – and soon we learn, illegally here from Syria and Senegal – back to his apartment; and they accept, is the beginning of where this voyage is going to take us. And while my experiences with NYC are mostly confined to a short actual trip and endless days/months spent viewing the city on the big and small screen, this gesture is one of genuine kindness and kind of naivety. But, we know that Walter is lonely, and he also sees that these people have no place to go. So, Tarek and Zainab come back to stay in the apartment, only initially for a few days to try and find a new, more permanent place. 

Moving on, we see that Walter is still the odd man out, Zainab always acts cold towards him and Tarek is always nice and inviting. The fact that Tarek invites Walter to come see him perform at a jazz club, playing his African drum, sets off a friendship and an awakening in the spirit for Walter. So, when this is taken away, when Tarek is falsely arrested in a subway station – for jumping the stile, even though he’d paid but had gotten his bag stuck – Walter refocuses his attention on trying to help this man. Then the heart of the movie shows up in the guise of Tarek’s mother, Mouna – played wonderfully by Hiam Abbass – who is worried for her son, but as she’s illegal too, she can’t visit him in the detention center. So, everyone in Tarek’s life is dependent on Walter to communicate between them. 

Mouna is a beautiful woman, who has age in her eyes and is accepting of the kindness of Walter and accepts Tarek’s girlfriend, who is much blacker than she thought. She’s long ago lost her husband, and Tarek’s father to a prison/detention center and is now worried about her son. The relationship that develops between Mouna and Walter is wonderful and heartfelt and really just struck me as how “falling in love” really is. It’s slow and elusive. You feel unsure about the other person and in a delicate situation as these characters find themselves, it’s too difficult to try and think that there’s anything going on. 

There are no sex scenes, or nudity or even steamy kisses in this movie. Mouna and Walter’s love, as far as we know is never consummated. And the only real romantic moment is Mouna’s whispering of an Arabic phrase of endearment and a look back as one of them walks away. But, I have to say that this relationship made my heart aflutter. It’s so real and it’s so pitch-perfect to how I’ve felt a million times while getting to know someone, even for just a brief moment. This movie could easily fall into the trap of the “forbidden/doomed love”, or even the slight romantic comedy, but it doesn’t. It’s chastity and restraint are what makes this romance the more powerful. 

The performances are all strong in this, and – not to get into the topic of what was worthy for Oscars this year – I can certainly agree that Jenkins’ performance was note-worthy. He might be familiar to people as the Father from the HBO series, SIX FEET UNDER; or a number of other roles such as a detective in the movie WOLF, with Michelle Pfeiffer and Jack Nicholson; or as the gym manager in The Coen Bros. BURN AFTER READING. He has the face for comedy, with those droopy, puppy dog eyes, the bad complexion and the nasally, monotone voice, but he has depth and it makes him relatable. And he’s good at physically showing, how I think a lot of us feel in our normal, everyday lives. 

THE VISITOR is worth seeing, for it’s fantastic acting, from an international cast; covering a topic that is very much of it’s time (now) but what will make you keep watching are the relationships between these characters. The love they show for each other and the love we see but aren’t force fed to believe, because it seems real. I leave a lot of “romantic comedies” thinking, ‘yeah, and in six months they’re divorced, or cheating on each other with Meg Ryan or Matthew Perry’. With THE VISITOR, I was praying that the characters would soon fall into each other’s arms and forever stay there.

The other movie isn’t so much a love story, as it is a sympathy story. REIGN OVER ME, starring Adam Sandler as Charlie Fineman, Don Cheadle and Alan Johnson; written and directed (and supporting acted) by Mike Binder, is the story of a dentist (Cheadle’s Alan Johnson), who – much like Richard Jenkins’ character – is kind of going through the motions in life. He has a successful practice, where sometimes he feels like he’s the subordinate, when he’s actually the one that started it. He seemingly, because of the buzz it gives him, takes on patients who are only there because of the attractive doctor – as is the case with Saffron Burrows’ character, Donna. He’s feeling suffocated by his wife (Jada Pinkett Smith) and two daughters, and then one day sees a man walking out of a hardware store. The man is his old college roommate, Charlie Fineman (Sandler).

We learn that after college they went their own separate ways in life, but Alan knows that Charlie lost his wife, three daughters and even his dog in one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center. Alan tries to get Charlie’s attention, but with his headphones on, Charlie is in his own little world. Later, Alan does catch up to Charlie, only for Charlie not to remember who (Alan)Johnson is. Cheadle goes over details of their living together in college – remember the sleeping nude, sleep-walking (which don’t mix well), and the endless Springsteen jam sessions! – and Charlie gives a hint that he remembers. Taking Cheadle back to his place, we see that Charlie is remodeling his kitchen, has the barest of furniture – besides a couch to sit on as he plays video games with this big screen TV/projector – and bedrooms with everything covered up and abandoned, along with his thousands of vinyl albums. Obviously, Cheadle’s character soon feels the need to try and help (save) his old college buddy, but the barest hint of asking questions about his past, or bringing up anything that isn’t chinese food, movies or the hot girl that is bothering Cheadle, induces a violent rage from Charlie. 

It’s burrow’s character, towards the end of the movie – as she’s made the voyage of crazy stalker (a la FATAL ATTRACTION), strange tag-along (like Natalie Portman’s character in GARDEN STATE) and eventual… hmm, I don’t really want to say “love interest”, but yeah kind of – when she cuts through all the psychiatric crap and gives us the common parlance of what’s wrong with Charlie. During this journey, with our main characters, Alan is forced to deal with his wife and his business partners and even himself. Sandler gets to be the sort of RAIN MAN of this movie, giving us a powerful performance – much like his characters in SPANGLISH and PUNCH DRUNK LOVE. The range of emotion that we get to see, him go through really allows him to keep pace with an actor like Cheadle who we know can act – y’know, in that respectable way, and not just as the silly boy-man who never grows up. 

The waterworks here flow, because of that performance, and because of how we see Cheadle and the other actor’s playing off that. This movie is totally Sandler’s show, and to say he had me on the brink of tears – and not from laughter – is an off position to be in. But, I can’t imagine too many dry eyes when he finally confronts his past by telling his story. This also, isn’t to say that there aren’t laughs in this. Because he’s playing a character who has regressed – not quite to a child-like state, but one that can’t really cope with adult situations – Sandler gets to cut loose a little and give us some crude, non-PC humor, like telling Liv Tyler how perfect and round her breasts are. 

The movie also leads you down a couple of roads that in other movies might suggest how things will turn out, like the down-ward spiral and the eventual “committed” situations, but the movie doesn’t completely go into standard situations, although it does end with the possible budding romance, but even there we’re not given a conventional closing to that plotline.

The only other thing to really talk about with this movie is it’s pretty powerful use of music – which almost all comes from either Sandler’s iPod, or he mentions the band and we then get to hear a song from them. The best usage of this is from the song that the movie takes it’s name from, The Who’s Love, Reign O’er Me, which is played twice in the film and then again over the end credits, recreated by Pearl Jam.  This song captures this movie perfectly, not only in the scenes that it is part of, but the raw emotion and how powerful love is and sums this movie up better than I could. So, go see it for Sandler’s performance – a sad to not see him get nominated for this in 2008, for anything other than a Teen Choice Award (according to IMDB) which is kind of odd. 

Today, I felt like being alone. And when I feel that way, I watch movies. These were the ones I watched and I loved them.

Also Recommended:

HIGH FIDELITY
THE FISHER KING
PUNCH DRUNK LOVE
THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

I was recently reminded why I love these movies so much…

Bandits

Billy Bob Thornton and Bruce Willis are hysterical

Lars and The Real Girl

Ryan Gosling falls in love with a sex doll and it’s still somehow a serious movie, but funny as hell in parts.

Reign Over Me

Adam Sandler’s best work in my opinion.

Heat

DeNiro, Pacino and Kilmer deliver big time in this action flick. I’ve seen it 4 or 5 times and it never gets old.

When I first heard the movie  title, I thought, this sounds cool. When I saw the trailer, I pretty much liked it. Alan Johnson ( played by Don Cheadle, a good thing, since he starred in many of my favourite movies), is a dentist and family man who lives a near perfect life. The problem is, as a dutiful husband, he plays jigsaw puzzles and goes for photography lessons with his wife when what he really wants to do are more manly things,like playing poker, and his wife doesn’t understand that. As a result, he feels smothered and needs his own space to breathe. One day, he bumps into his old college roommate, Charlie Fineman(Adam Sandler), who, contrary to his name, isn’t fine at all, not since he lost his wife, 3 daughters and dog to the 9/11 attacks when the plane they were on was hijacked.

Charlie seems not to recognise him, and upon rekindling their friendship, Alan learns that Charlie is now living in isolation, constantly listening to music, playing video games, watching movies, and banging on his drums. He does not want any friends, apart from Alan. The reason? As Charlie’s old friend puts it:

Sugarman: He likes you Alan, you know why? Because you know nothing about his family.

Alan tries to help him, but Charlie doesn’t want to be helped. Try to do that, and he’ll get mad, shouting for all and sundry to hear and destroying things within his reach. Most reluctantly, he goes to see soft spoken psychologist Angela Oakhurst (Liv Tyler), who is also counselling Donna Remar, a patient of Alan’s who’s been giving him trouble at work. One day, Charlie finally opens up to Alan, but now that he’s brought those memories back, he suffers more and tries to get himself killed by terrorising the streets with a gun in hand.

His attempt fails and he is briefly detained in a mental hospital. It is now up to his parents-in-law to decide whether to commit him permanently or let him find his own way.

I didn’t think Adam Sandler’s performance when his character opened up to Alan all that touching. It is only the incident in the courtroom scene when you get to see the extent of how that tragedy has really affected Charlie. Don Cheadle, meanwhile, does good in this movie. All in all, Reign Over Me is as good a watch as its trailer suggests.

Yeah!!!!  Got my hair done yesterday!!  Woot! Woot!  My mother used to tell me that her hairdresser was her best therapist.  I totally agree.  If left to it’s own devices, my hair, which in childhood used to be sunsteaked blonde and reddish, turns a dark brown.  I guess the trendy term is chestnut.  It doesn’t matter.  It is dark and it is brown and I’ve never been able to get used to myself in dark hair.  I’ve resorted to adding color.  This gets pretty expensive in a regular shop, because I usually do an undercolor (my natural color) and weave in three colors on the top layers.  This takes a big bite out of the pocketbook.  As kids started coming along, then divorces, I resorted to going to the local beauty college.  We have two here in town, one good, one not so good.  I go to the good one.  But, lately, even their prices have creeped up to the $100 mark by the time I get everything done.  And the last time, I was sorely disappointed with the quality of work.

I went to Mexico Friend’s house and she did my hair.  Mexico Friend started working at my school about 4 years ago as an aide.  She was placed in one of my colleague’s rooms at the same grade level I taught at that time and we started getting to know each other. This year, I’ve had the great pleasure of having her in my classroom as one of my aides.  I think that’s a pretty slick deal since she’s 38, looks like she’s 28 and gives me beauty and fashion tips all the time.  When I found out she did hair and has for a long time, my ears perked up. I decided to go in for a hair cut.  I loved it! 

Now, seems kinda stupid, but a haircut can make or break my days.  If the haircut is good, getting ready every morning is a breeze.  If the haircut is bad, then it takes hours and costs millions of lives each morning. When Mexico Friend cut my hair, she saved me time and angst by rescuing me from the bad cut I’d received months before at the Beauty College.  Two days after I go my hair cut the first time, I signed her up to cut my youngest’s hair and to color my hair.  Today was the big day for me.

Mexico Friend was pretty nervous since she hadn’t colored my hair before and something about how the color would lift and the processing time all confused me, but I let her do her thing.  I figured this:  She does her own hair which looks awesome all the time, so she’s probably not going to go wrong with mine.  If she does, I feel comfortable enough with her to say so and I know she’d fix it.

Anyway, I have a new do and it is so low maintenance but looks so good!  And, yes, we were a little daring with the colors.  She wove in three colors and some bleach.  I have to admit it looks pretty trick since one of the colors is an auburn red I wouldn’t have necessarily chosen. 

Anyway, I like the new do.  It looks healthy and I haven’t had to mess with it all day.

On to the rest of my day yesterday.

I spent the day carting kids around after I got back from the hair thing.  I, first, had to run to the mall to pick up some things (faceplate for my phone, hair care products for the new hair).  Too bad I couldn’t have picked up some Botox, Boobs and a Brazilian Butt Lift with discounted Tummy Tuck.  Oh well. None of those items were on sale.  Maybe another time.

Then it was off to drop off Briggs at play rehearsal.  While we waited for her to get done, Little Mister needed new sweats, boxers, socks and a belt so Target ended up being our destination of choice for that time frame.

While at Target, I walked by the bra section, since they always have the bras now prominently displayed in most highly trafficked areas of the store.  As I passed, I remembered that I need a new couple of those things and I reached out and touched one of the padded push up bras on the display. Mmmm, nice and squishy.  I then continued walking past.  As I did so I heard a male voice from behind me say, “Yeah, that’s what I always do when I pass the bras too!”

I turned around and there was Mr. Custodian, a good friend, who worked at the school I was assigned to before the one I’m at now.  He and his wife are great friends and, yes, he’s pretty notorious for comments like that, which is exactly the reason I like him.  Anyway, we ended up chatting there in the aisle at Target, while my son hunted for his clothes.  We hadn’t seen each other in a while and after getting caught up the conversation turned to the pending budget cuts at schools and so on.  He had a great perspective on it.  He basically told me he’s not too worried since he bounces back from stuff like this pretty well and it doesn’t do any good to worry.  Reminds me of a song by Bob Marley, who I’ve recently been listening to.  And if music could ever describe the pace and ambiance of a day this song describes my day yesterday:

“Look at me!  I’m happy!” Marley says, “Let me give you my phone number.  When you worry, call me.  I’ll make you happy!”  That really is happy music for me.  Takes me to my happy place, in some other sunnier country I haven’t visited yet with some big handsome dude who’s as crazy about me as I am about him and where the kids aren’t squabbling. (Like that is every gonna happen! Hahahahaha!)

Then it was back to pick up Briggs and out to find cheap DVDs of “O Brother Where Art Thou?” and “Rent”.  Number 1 purchased “The Holiday” and “13 Going On 30″ for herself.  I succumbed to the 2 for $10 sale and bought “Hitch” and “Reign Over Me”.  (Yeah, I’m kind of a Will Smith junkie.  Adam Sandler, not so much, but the story line seemed okay.)  The three progeny  watched “O Brother Where Art Thou?” and compared it to Homer’s Odessy.  And, wonder of wonders they did what they really do best when they do it:  had thoughtful discussions instead of lacing every comments with a Hannah Montana putdown. 

And that was my day.  Boring, routine, dull actually, but really wonderful in the very simplicity, warmth (yes, the weather was sunny and warm and, will miracles never cease, dry!)  and peacefulness  of it. 

Look at me!  I’m happy!!!!

So I just recently finished watching the latest Pixar film, Wall-E, and I found myself astounded by how harsh was the social commentary woven into the background of the plot.  Frankly, it frightened me.  I find that any film that alludes to the “plugged-in” generation frightens me: from the son sitting at the dinner table in Children of Men, even to the I-Pod absorbed main character that appeared in Reign Over Me.

I used to wonder at the masses of students making their way to college seminars, either chatting into a cell phone, or with both ears cozily hugging themselves around I-Pod buds.  And I know this habit has been remarked upon before, many times: by intellectuals, historians, and health officials galore.  Yet I still find this growing trend increasingly disturbing.

The politicians of our country have a rather annoying habit of raising up a fuss about the “War on Drugs” — a war that’s probably going to stretch on longer than the War of 1812.  The newscasters create a scandal out of Michael Phelps smoking from a bong, while they themselves probably have a few such memorabilia stashed in their attics as forgotten relics from the glory-days of their youth.  Yet it seems that the only serious addiction, and the only serious danger, that the current society suffers from is an addiction to “non-ism.”  We seem to have a need for non-identity, for non-society, for non-interaction.  Alone of all the generations of humanity, we have become frightened of our individuality, and have instead evinced an incredible obsession with the merging of the mind into the mass consciousness of machine.  It’s like Childhood’s End, except without the intervention of your friendly-neighborhood-Overlords.

Something John Lennon once said comes to mind: “The basic thing nobody asks is why do people take drugs of any sort? Why do we have these accessories to normal living to live? I mean, is there something wrong with society that’s making us so pressurized, that we cannot live without guarding ourselves against it?“

Wall-E: Disney's answer to Hal 9000.

And just so, the cyber-drug has become fused into our system as a way of life, as the IV drip to consciousness that has become just as necessary as the air we breathe.  We have surrendered our passion and our curiosity, the very qualities that make us worthy of the label “human beings,” to the mantra “ignorance is blisss.”  I cannot help but wonder if the rising rates of autism among children are somehow related to this ‘autism of society,’ as we increasingly shut ourselves off from the needs of the wider world.

*Cue Twilight-Zone music here.* I wonder if there is a back-door out of this slow suicide of the human soul.  I wonder if we will ever look up to the stars again and think, “Yes, someday we will get there.”  But most of all, I wonder if in two-hundred years some race of aliens won’t land on Earth and find artifacts of an extinct race once known as homo sapiens.

Memang film lama. Selama ini agak males mau nonton, karena aku emang ga terlalu suka film drama, ditambah lagi dengan Adam Sandler yang biasanya berperan di film komedi. What ? Adam Sandler playing drama ??? …

Akhirnya menikmati film ini di TV satelit. Tadinya hanya karena ngga ada pilihan yg lebih baik, sementara jam bio-ku sedang bergeser hanya gara2 begadangan 4 malam.

Ternyata film ini bagus (surprisingly) … Adam Sandler berhasil melepaskan stereotype komedinya walaupun kadang2 masih muncul pada saat dia harus terbawa emosi (so typical Sandler style).

Film ini berkisah tentang 2 teman lama (ex-college-room-mate) yang tak sengaja bertemu lagi, Charlie Fineman (Sandler) dan Alan Johnson (Don Cheadle). 2 orang yang masing2 memiliki masalah sendiri. Charlie yang hidup di dunianya sendiri untuk melupakan kematian istri dan anak2nya pada kejadian 9/11. Alan yang kehilangan jati dirinya dengan rutinitas hidupnya. Film ini ternyata didukung banyak bintang yang kukenal seperti Donald Sutherland, Liv Tyler, Safron Burrows, dan Jada Pinket Smith. Penampilan Donald Sutherland yang hanya sebentar (sebagai hakim) sempat mencuri perhatian. Sayang karakter yg lain tidak terlalu banyak tergali walaupun mereka tampil bagus. Pace film ini cukup lambat tapi tidak sampai membosankan.

overall .. bagus .. walaupun musti mikir lagi kalo diajak nonton lagi.

Images are copyrighted and belong to the respected owners

My parents and I just finished watching Reign Over Me, starring Don Cheadle and Adam Sandler (with many other fairly big-name actors/actresses scattered throughout), and I had forgotten how spectacular of a movie it is. If you haven’t seen it yet, do yourself a favor, rent it and expect to spend an emotional night on your couch. Besides having a captivating storyline in general, there are a few points that I recognized and wanted to share.

The crux of the movie revolves around the two main male characters, Cheadle a successful oral cosmetologist (?) and Sandler a possibly-insane former family man and dentist. But the main underlying story is that both characters are paralyzingly jealous of what each perceives as the other’s advantages. Cheadle has a steady job, a wife and daughter. Sandler has almost complete freedom…(technically) single, a pot of money and no real responsibilities to think of. Granted, Sandler is grieving  something fierce (don’t want to ruin too much now), but Cheadle sees Sandler’s no-strings-attached lifestyle as a welcome change from his monotonous and routine life. Sandler desperately wants to have a steady life again, the life that he did have, the life that he should have and the life that Cheadle has. All the while Cheadle’s feeling suffocated by his wife and responsibilities. Neither sees the opportunities that he has and the blessings of the present.

And to go along with all of his pain, Sandler exhibits the classic male reaction: don’t talk about it. I know everyone always hears that talking about your difficulties helps you deal with them, and Sandler does a spectacular job portraying the pain of his character and the prison that he constructs for himself. About two-thirds of the way through the movie, a psychologist tells SAndler that he needs to tell someone his story…and he does…and it’s the most touching scene of the whole movie. Not only does one sympathize with Sandler’s character, but it’s a vivid illustration of something that all men (and women I guess) go through. It’s definitely better to tell someone your story, whether it’s rife with pain or joy, sorrow or laughter. Everyone has a story, and everyone else can learn from your story. So share it. Because if you don’t…who will?

Finally, the whole idea of love “reigning” over you instead of “raining” over you. It’s such a portrait, a juxtaposition of what we would most expect compared with what we should most desire. Not love falling out of the sky from nowhere, but love literally ruling your life. Love completely directing your thoughts and actions. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone’s life was literally “reigned” by love. Like a king watching over the needs and desires of his subjects. Totally surrendering to love and trusting that it’ll lead you in the right direction. By the way, the title of the movie comes from the song “Love Reign O’er Me” by the Who. For a taste, see below.

So in the end, there are two characters on opposite ends of the spectrum who are trying to negotiate their own lives and their desires for their lives. Which one are you? And have you shared your story with anyone recently?

And if you’re partial to Pearl Jam (cover):

De la Pursuit of Happyness ajungi aici.. Lasa tu filme cu pac – pac si cu sf`uri tampite, de vine unu si ne ameninta cu distrugerea pamantului sau unu care mananca levantica si devine Omul Musetel cu puteri de bursuc. Mai trebuie din cand in cand si o drama .. asta doar daca stii sa apreciezi filmele faine.Foarte fain si filmul numero 2 cu Adam Sandler. Interesant si sincer.. some things really make u wonder.

Doua povesti diferite dar cam aceeasi cauza.. Pana unde poate ajunge un tip care a pierdut totul.

Vizionare placuta

M-am gândit mult dacă să scriu despre filmul Reign Over Me şi ori de câte ori aveam o tentativă ştergeam şi o luam de la capăt pentru că mi se părea prea greu să explic de ce a avut un impact atât de puternic asupra mea. Ori de câte ori începeam să scriu ieşea ceva de genul “e un film care te face să…” până când mi-am dat seama că blocajul se producea la persoana a doua şi că eu de fapt trebuie să vorbesc despre “ce mă face să…” filmul acesta.

Pornind de la o replică de-a lui Charlie Fineman I saw it and felt it at the same time o să spun că e un film care m-a făcut să uit să mă mişc, cu excepţia lacrimilor care îmi curgeau pe obraji (câte trei dintr-un ochi, cum nu mi se întâmplă foarte des), un film care m-a făcut să uit să respir sau din contră, uneori să respir prea puternic, un film care m-a făcut să tresar la fiecare replică şi să cred că e despre mine, un film pe care dacă l-aş cataloga ca fiind frumos sau bun cred că i-aş face o mare nedreptate, motiv pentru care o să-i spun un film foarte puternic, un film al cărui efect îl simt şi acum când îmi tremură mâinile pe taste ca şi cum nu aş mai fi scris la calculator de ani de zile, un film care m-a făcut să cunosc mai bine persoana care mi l-a recomandat. Mă opresc aici pentru că sunt un om mult prea mic să vorbesc despre lucruri atât de mari.

Melodia care deschide filmul

Adoro Adam Sandler! Embora seja comediante, é incrível como eu choro quando assisto os filmes dele. Pela milionésima vez assisti 50 first dates. E pela milionésima vez chorei no fim do filme.

Agora é Reign over me. Eu choro (e dou risada) toda vez que o Charlie sai do elevador e começa a falar com os sogros, que querem botar ele num hospital psiquiátrico com o aval de um juiz. Mas ele não está louco. He is just broken hearted.

E tem a cena clássica em Wedding singer. Com a música mais fofa do mundo!

E tem Spanglish, Click, The longest yard... comediante mais emotivo, não?

Last night we watched “Reign Over Me,” the probably first serious movie with Adam Sandler in existence, or at least the first one I saw, and apart from being a wonderful character study (especially for those familar with the Enneagram), the movie addresses a few interesting points in regards to 9/11, some of which may even say more than the movie makers originally intended. Or perhaps that’s just my interpretation of it, but as with everything in the world, I think it’s up to each one of us and our individual perception, what we make of it, and learn from it, and I have made it clear elsewhere that I believe that the Almighty has placed more lessons all around us than most of us are willing to notice, even availing Himself of the creativity of our fellowmen to drive home points that they may not even have intended to (and that is nowhere as much as a reality as in the art of movie-making).

Sandler plays Charlie, a former dentist in New York who lost his wife and 3 children during the 9/11 so-called “attacks,” which by a growing number of people around the world, and even Americans, are rather referred to as an “inside job.” Charlie refuses to deal with his loss and ( – in the manner of the Enneagram’s personality type SEVEN, whose driving force is defined by Enneagram authors Rohr and Ebert as “The Need to Avoid Pain,” taken to the extreme), he refuses to remember what happened, and that he had a family at all, and reacts very aggressively to any third party attempts (such as those of his in-laws) to confront him with what happened.
The friendship of his former college room mate – with the help of a too-cute-to-be-real therapist (Liv Tyler) – very gradually pulls him out of this, and we watch how beautifully friendship and communication can change people’s lives for the better.

The point which the blessed creators of this movie may not have intended to bring across, but nevertheless insists on jumping in my face (as I’m sure some readers would), is how Sandler’s role portrays the refusal of the majority of the American public (as well as a substantial percentage of the rest of the Western populace) to deal with the realities behind 9/11. Although evidence abounds that the official version of 9/11 is as likely to have happened as the Twin Towers having been erected by an army of ants, in the typical fashion of pain-avoiding hedonists, most Americans refuse to face the facts of just how rotten to the core their government really is and how astray they’re being led, willingly manipulated into one war after another and never-ending bloodshed, reacting quite aggressively to those who would try to confront them with the truth.

If there was any intention from the side of the movie’s makers to bring across that sort of message at all, then the message would read on: “Give us time to deal with all of this in our own fashion!” The sad part of the real story is, time’s running out! If time is money, as they always say, then it’s definitely running out, and whether people want it or not, the truth is going to come crashing in on them, and already is, as things turn out to be never the same again on Wall Street and elsewhere around the world.
Today, little Mr. and Mrs. Jones may be pointing their fingers at the greedy stock brokers and shake their heads at them, “Tsk tsk, those greedy, naughty boys.” But in a year from now the repercussions of what really happened here will have affected their lives to such an extent that there will be nobody there to shake their heads at, similar to the way it happened in 1930, a year after the first global stock market crash, which, it seems, is finally finding its match in the events unfolding before us right now.

Of course, way over 90% of the population vehemently refuse to acknowledge what’s going on. They’re choosing the blue pill (as in “The Matrix“) every day: “Put me back to sleep and let me know none of all this!”

Well, just as dear Charlie in our movie eventually had to sit down and face the truth and reality of what happened, sooner or later that will have to be the case with everyone else. The only question is when and where; whether it will be in this life, or the next.

As far as I’m concerned, an integral and indispensable ingredient of love is truth, and without it, I wonder how real any of all that love is that people would like to reign over them, or if it’s perhaps not just a bunch of good intentions paving their road to hell. If you want love to be real, you’ve got to have truth in it, and when that’s the case, I’ll agree: Let that love reign over all of us!

P.S.: Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like we don’t all do it. After all, what makes us watch movies by the dozens in the first place? We all like to get a break from reality, and it’s not like I can’t wait for all the gory stuff to happen, that’s awaiting the world, according to the Book of Revelation. I remember the first time I read it, I actually felt physically sick, the way Neo in the Matrix did, when he found out the truth about what the Matrix was, and what his life thus far had been…

But there’s a difference between being optimistic or positive and being naïve. It’s obvious, that basically we’re all wonderful and often can’t really be held to blame, because we simply don’t know any better. But there also comes the point when we should know better, because we have been told the truth, and it’s up to us to either accept or reject it, and I’m afraid that a lot of stuff is coming up around the bend that is going to test our love for how real it is, and I’d just advise anyone to fasten their seat belts.

The first month after your loved one dies is perhaps one of the scariest,

most dreaded times in a person’s life.

Losing a spouse, a parent, a child is devastating. But somehow, you will get through.

I know you don’t think you will.

But there’s this little thing called breathing. Your body does it whether you want it to or not.

Your heart can be breaking, your gut wrenched, and you can feel as if you will truly lose your mind–and your body will continue to take its next breath. There will be times when you don’t want to breathe. You don’t want to live–the pain is so intense. Just let your body get your through for now.

It’s a divine design–to keep our heart and lungs on automatic.

I’m sure I would have either forgotten or opted not to breathe, not to allow my heart to pump if I had any say in the matter. But this sheer involuntary response is the only way to go on during those early days of grief.

Death comes in many forms–by way of an accident, or after a long agonizing illness–it’s never easy.

Even when you’ve been caregiving for years and you know your loved one is no longer suffering, almost everyone has a difficult time letting go.

Why? Why is it so difficult to watch death take those we love–even after pain and suffering, and even old age?

I believe because there’s something in us that deeply believes in the eternal.

Our brains do not compute that life is simply cut off. I’m not basing this on any particular religion or theology–I’m basing this on biology–we cannot comprehend that someone we know and love was here yesterday–and is not here today. Those who look at this purely scientific would say that it’s mere habit–but something in me feels that it’s more.

Why, after practicing a lifetime of faith, and believing with all our hearts that we will see our loved one again–is it still so hard to stand next to their lifeless, breathless body and kiss them goodbye?

The same reason a toddler cries for his/her mother. We don’t like separation.

And those early days of separation are very, very difficult.

What’s it like? That first month?

Experiencing a death of someone we love–at any age, and for any reason, usually means that we go into shock. Not only have I experienced the death of several loved ones, like you, I have many family and friends who have also experience grief and loss.

By looking at these first few days and weeks, we can begin to see a pattern–in ourselves and others. It’s less scary to know that we’re not alone, and that our bizarre thoughts and actions are something others experience as well.

What is shock?

It’s our body’s response to trauma or pain.

Physically, speaking, shock is when the body isn’t getting enough oxygen. It can occur after an injury when the body shuts down (the blood stays close to the heart to preserve life at its core level–or it can occur after a severe emotional trauma.

WebMD desribes shock as this:

1. A sudden physical or biochemical disturbance that results in inadequate blood flow and oxygenation of an animal’s vital organs.
2. A state of profound mental and physical depression consequent to severe physical injury or to emotional disturbance.

If you’ve ever experienced shock (yourself or by witnessing it in another person), one of its prime characteristics is that you’re probably not reacting to pain (physically or emotionally) as you would expect.

Car accident victims can walk around with a head wound or internal injury–and only after minutes or even hours does the body “compute” the damage and begin to react. This may give the person time to rescue a child or get out of a fire.

Emotional trauma shock can present with similar symptoms–the person may talk or act rather normal, even when you would expect them to cry or scream or fall apart. They might eventually do all those things–but it may be weeks or months later. The mind has the ability to stay “in shock” much longer than the body–and it will usually only allow the person to really feel and experience the deepest levels of grief when it’s safe.

The movie, Reign Over Me is a great example of emotional shock.

Adam Sandlerplays a man who lost his wife and children during 9/11. He spends years in “shock,” and the exploration of how this man deals with grief in an unconventional way–and the arguments that the social and mental health community make to try to “fix” him, is interesting.

Every person’s journey with grief and loss is different. Honor yours.

Trust your gut, your shock will get you through.

During the first month you might: (no two people are the same)

• Be able to plan an elaborate funeral or memorial service
• Hold yourself together–be courteous, thoughtful and polite
• Look healthy and strong
• Go back to work days or weeks after your loved one passes
• Feel euphoric–an urgency to get on with life
• Plan a trip, go shopping, or other ordinary things
• Go off with friends and do things you haven’t been able to do in a long time

But…if you observe grief and shock a little closer, you’ll notice things aren’t quite what they appear on the surface.

You might also:

• Feel high strung, nervous, agitated
• Can’t pay attention, get bored or antsy with people
• Suffer from insomnia
• Have a panic or anxiety attack when you’re out in public
• Zone out and not remember where you are
• Feel guilty and think you caused your loved one to die (by taking them to the hospital, or not taking them, or a myriad of other decisions you had to make)
• Forget things–your keys locked in the car, your wallet at the gas station
• Avoid falling apart or crying because you may feel like once you start, you won’t be able to stop
• Have nightmares, even scary dreams of your loved one coming back alive–but not alive
• Become obsessed with something–putting your affairs in order, doing something your loved one nagged you about but you put off–but now you’re doing it to excess
• Do something, anything to feel alive–gamble, go to Vegas, visit online chat rooms, shop too much, eat too much
• You may start to snap at people–or cling–can’t let yourself be alone
• Your emotional pendulum keeps swinging wider and wider

Practical Things You Typically Do The First Month:

• File for and receive the death certificate (that’s tough)
• Contact your life insurance
• Decide when or if to go back to work
• Comfort others around you–children, friends, even when you don’t feel like it
• Cancel credit cards and put your house or car in your name only
• Pay the bills associated with your loved one’s passing–funeral expenses, etc.
• Decide to buy or sell certain items
• Figure out how to pay the bills or deal with repairs–whatever your spouse/loved one did that you now must do
• Catch up with your lfe–if your loved one was ill, there may be many things that need your attention now
• Write thank you notes and figure out how to handle your relationships with this new change

Emotionally You’ll Have To:

• Make calls and let businesses know your loved one has passed
• Talk to many family and friends–and some of them will be awkward and say the “wrong” thing
• Walk back in your house, your bedroom, drive his car–feel his/her presence and be faced with your loss
• Sleep in the bed he’s/she’s no longer in
• Deal with clothes, cars and other personal items–even if you don’t start sorting and deciding what you keep, they are with you–in your house and your life
• Allow your brain and heart to assimilate that your loved one’s not here for you to call–to talk to
• Wake up and think he’s/she’s still there
• Feel alone and lost even when you’re busy
• Figure out who you are now and what to do with your time and energy
• Think about that “first” that is to come–first birthday without him, holiday without her–and make a plan
• Literally survive the best you can

For most people, the first month is a blur.

At times, you’re in bone crushing grief alternting with an odd euphoric gotta-get-out feeling.

You can bite someone’s head off or not even care if the shoes on your feet were on fire.

There’s a lot to do, and that list of wrapping things up and starting anew at least keeps your keep moving. The good news is: you probably won’t remember most of this.

Shock does a whammy on the brain. You may feel like you’ve put your skin on inside out–and your nerve endings are exploding–but later, there will be many things you can’t recall.

Your body is protecting you. Let it. J

As crazy, lost, alone, scattered, numb, and frantic as you feel in those first months, know that as hard as it is to believe, it won’t last forever.

Just breathe.

I”m Carol O’Dell, and I hope you’ll visit my blog again.

Carol is the author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir

available on Amazon and in most bookstores

Carol is a family advisor at www.Caring.com