Often, when things don’t quite go as well as they could in a date, the reason is nerves. Nerves make you laugh too hard or too little, pre-judge every every word you utter, or beat yourself up for every little faux pass. Your date was likely nervous, too, It’s hard to be charming when your date is tense. It’s also hard to put someone else at ease when you’re stiff and uncomfortable.

When you get home from a so-so date:

1. Sit down in a comfy chair.
2. Shut your eyes.
3. Take five deep breaths in through your nose, out through your mouth.
4. Visualize your date floating up and out of your consciousness like a soft, fluffy cloud.
5. Repeat after me:

• I am not perfect
• I don’t need to be perfect to be loved
• This was only one date
• There will be another date
• Next time I will fill safe enough to reveal more of myself.

The recent campaign by the Ministry of Health in Jamaica with the tagline ‘Pinch, leave an inch, roll’ has come under fire from certain sectors of the society. Esther Tyson, principal of Ardenne High School in Kingston, Jamaica wrote an article in the Sunday Gleaner condemning the campaign calling for serious adjustments to the message. Her new tagline for the campaign would state ‘value self, value others; self-control and true love waits.’

We live in a society that is over sexualised with not only images but also heavily present in our music. The fact remains that our young people are having unprotected sex and the Ministry of Health recognizes this.  Any campaign that is geared towards educating and influencing the use of condoms with the youth must be embraced. The youth globally not only unique in Jamaica are faced with choices daily and most times the values we would ideally want our youth to accept are ignored upon. Societies today are not projecting the conservative values we are told of. Instead, young individuals are bombarded with the acceptable behaviours of promiscuity and unsafe sexual habits.

The Jamaican society has been characterized as a Christian one. However, one would think the church would be vocal on certain issues but on the contrast they are numb and quiet leaving a sector of society to be leaders teaching our children that unprotected sex is real love. Our youth today has taken that message as gospel preaching it to those who they come in contact with, developing a culture where we have accepted sexual activities among young individuals as a norm.

How do we now combat this problem? The advertising campaign suggested by Esther Tyson to promote value self cannot work. Young individuals are battling low self-esteems, no confidence within themselves and a society where they are searching for role models. Valuing Others? Jamaica is currently one of the murder capitals of the world. We have no respect for life or anyone’s life in this country. True love? If a research should be conducted I am positive the percentage would be high of children born out of wedlock. Therefore the campaign that Tyson suggests is nonsensical, and cannot work in this society. The fact is, the campaign suggested by Tyson would be looked down upon and revamped to change its message simply because it would not be current.

The Ministry of Health’s campaign was spot on. Recognizing that young people today are participating in activities like this, arming them with the correct information can only assist. The campaign teamed up with popular show Magnum Kings and Queens of Dancehall and it was a perfect match because the target audience were fans of the popular show.

It is a pity that Tyson reminds me of Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin as a conservative believes that sex should be solely between married couples. However, Palin’s daughter Bristol Palin got pregnant at only 17 years of age. Sarah Palin as a republican politician has been preaching for all her political life of the sacredness of sex and marriage; when in her own household her daughter was ignoring this message. Esther Tyson serves as principal of Ardenne High School, a top school in Kingston, Jamaica. One would think she would have on the ground experience of what is happening to our youth today. However, Tyson still chants from her high seat that the campaign should be ‘value self, value others; self-control and true love waits.’ One thing is for sure, her students are chanting a different message of ‘Pinch, leave an inch, roll.’

It is time we accept the world we live in presently and start accepting the truth. We live in a society where sorry to say sexual promiscuity is a current trend which is very attractive to our young people. We need more innovative campaigns that will challenge stats quo and be different. After all we are in 2009 and not the 1960’s.

Corve DaCosta

OK…

Before any of you decide to lock it up and commit your life to that “special someone,” you may want to consider some of the most bizarre and unusual reasons that can prompt a divorce.  Marriage is already complicated enough between balancing finances, kids, decisions, morals, values, jobs, sex, and everything else that this life throws at us, but, I’m pretty sure that you never thought you had to consider these “problems and issues” before considering marriage.

And I thought that divorce usually followed  infidelity and irreconcilable differences…

Check out the following “legitimate” reasons for filing divorces  from all around the world…

1.  In Canada, if a man snored too loud and his wife was able to prove it, she could successfully file for a divorce.

That’s a sure reason for Canadian men to invest in those anti-snoring devices!

2.  In Italy, household chores, such as dish-washing, can be serious enough to bring up the discussion of divorce.

Why doesn’t the couple just hire a maid if it is that big of an issue?

3.  In Japan, sleeping in an “unacceptable ” position is grounds for a divorce.

Wow, the poor Japanese can’t even relax when they are sleeping!

4.  According to the Manu Law, an Indian male had the right to “switch out or swap” his wife if she did not bear him any children after the 8Th year of marriage.  These men could also “dump” their wives for someone else if she only gave birth to female children after 11 years of marriage.

Congrats! You just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl….and your husband is leaving you!  What a memorable experience.

5.)  In England a simple act of “vandalism, ” whether it is intentional or not, can be a completely legitimate reason to ask for a divorce.

Watch out ladies!…make sure you don’t wash your hubby’s favorite white tee with colored clothes and accidentally dye it pink… or else… you might just find yourself divorced.

All I can say is WOW!  No wonder the divorce rate is so freaking high…you can practically divorce someone for any possible reason!  What’s next… approving a divorce if your hair starts turning gray?  You never know….better start stocking up on that hair dye just in case

I was browsing through wordpress and came across a post about 5 lessons on how to treat people that I thought was amazing. Not going to lie, number 3 had me tear up a bit. Click here for the post

Much Love,
Mike Walzman
ZMIVE.com

Church is unlike any other organization on earth and yet we try to apply principles to the church that are inconsistent with it’s purpose. It’s like trying to play football on a baseball field with hockey sticks. You’re like to come away with a lot of bloody and very confused players, to say nothing of the fans watching from the sidelines.

So I want to spend a few moment to help clarify what I believe the church is, where is should be played, and how we are to judge success.

First, however, let me share with you a few commonly beliefs about the church based on our cultural influences.  

The church of Jesus Christ is certainly not a …

Business - there’s simply no getting away from it, we’re a consumer culture. As a result we see everything as being for sale, at a price. But running a business is really all about control, having the right product, at the right price, for the right market. Businesses often use a cost / benefit analysis to determine where to put limited resources and cut off areas that are no longer producing.  Success is measure in dollars, failure means termination from the organization.

Social Club – social clubs have a valid place in our culture as a way to bring people together for various civic projects, meet new people, and reinforce the social structure of society. Some people go to see other and to be seen by others. There is an unstated expectation that wealth and privilege go hand in hand. People of means are expected to take the leadership rolls in these organizations and many people join in order to ‘rub elbows’ with the rich and powerful. Churches that protect and defend their personalized hymnals, pews, windows, or even their non-Christian traditions are all symptoms of status and privilege.

Theatre - every society needs art, philosophy, and entertainment to take the edge off the daily grind that is life. Many live by the old adage, “life fast, love hard, die young.” Life is either work or play. Many come to the church to see the pastor give a performance and then rate the performance by their gifts as if it is the price of admission. Complaints about the music, the message style, the atmosphere, or the length of the time are all symptoms of this dreaded entertainment disease.

Since we now know what it is not, let’s dig into what it really is!

The Church is the only place dedicated to those who currently do not belong. Church is not about membership and privilege, but mission and ministry to prodigals still “in a far away place”. There is but one “owner” and that is Jesus Christ. When the church went public, Jesus purchased the rights to the church and all who claim to be part of it with His very own blood. The church does not run on a budget, but uses resources given to it by the ‘owner’ to wash feet, feed the hungry, and proclaim the Good News. NO cost / benefit analysis applies here for the product, salvation, hope, and love, for these gifts are off the scale in value. It is driven by passion and fueled by gratitude, and guided by the Holy Spirit.

The Church is an organization comprised of individuals drawn together and united by a common experience, redemption. Having been saved from the self-destructive habits of sin, members look for new creative ways to give their best to visitors. In the church there can be no class structure, only recovering addicts of self-absorption transforming into self-sacrificing disciples of Jesus. Joyfully members share a bond of redemption through Holy Communion and a call to surrender their lives, their social standings, their treasures, and talents to find that by serving others, their lives take on a deeper significance.

The church of today, however, is a mosaic of all of the above. We’re a gamish of all of the above, for good and bad.

What other expressions of the church do you find most difficult to overcome?

Simple science

We have a lot of planting beds around the house and throughout the yard that require constant attention.  Frankly, If I had my way it’d be all grass, but the plants look very nice and make the house look beautiful and my wife loves them.

The problem is when it rains the water washes the mulch away.  In the front I lined the walk with large river rock to direct the water from the gutters down the walk and keep the mulch in place.  It works and looks great.

Well here’s why I feel a bit feminine today.  My wife has taken it upon herself to line most of the beds that meet with walks with more river rock.  It looks great, especially along the driveway in front, but….

I just realized I’m in the house cleaning the damn kitchen and watching the kids while she’s out there moving rock!   WTF?!?!  Man-dignity removed….

I couldn’t let that go so as soon as I got the baby to sleep I ran to the garage, grabbed my drill, a couple of bits, and some screws so I could mount a piece of art to the brick on the back of the house.  Machismo restored.  Dignity intact.  I’m a man, M-A-N…

Now you know it just couldn’t go that smoothly.

The drill died.  Yep, my grip on my man machine went limp right in the middle of putting the screw to it.  And right in front of my wife just to add insult to injury.  My tool wouldn’t work.  My tool couldn’t screw.  My tool wouldn’t drill.

I was left standing there dumbfounded with my limp drill in one hand, a screw in the other, and my wife carrying another load of rocks.  Damn.

So here I am pounding on the computer waiting for my man machine to recharge so I can get to screwing and drilling again while my wife keep moving rocks.  I swear….

At the age of 12, I often thought about how my life would be at 24. It’s a random age to pick but I was very curious about how my life was going to be at this age. I had a dream about all the things it was going to be.
The age that I couldn’t wait to be, was 18. Every year I was glad to count one more candle on my cake. It brought me closer to 18.
I couldnt wait to drive, vote, be allowed to sign MY cheques for MY bank account. On the parental level, I was promised permission for rock concerts, stay overs and a CAR!
For a girl like me that was all that I wanted, at that point in time that is. On my 18th birthday I was exhilarated with anticipation. I got all that I wanted. But I didn’t feel fantastically independent like I’d imagined. I still was chubby and I was still my parents’ little girl (they wanted names and phone numbers everytime I went for a stay over or a concert)

But I had two fab friends, a super enthusiastic group of friends in college and a fabulous life in general. After 18, every additional candle felt weird. It took me away from my fabulous age. Being 18 then meant a license to be a baby when you want and be an adult when you want (Eg: Mom please please buy me that new watch! or I am going yaar Mom, I’m old enough to take care of myself) I didn’t want to move away from that age. There came a lot of stuff after I turned 18 which toughened me up but at 18 there was a magic about the crises even. In fact, crises were  adventures. Sigh

My Cake courtesy colleagues who are more like friends

This week, I blew 24 candles, and suddenly remembered the dreams I’d had back at 12. I am nothin like that girl was supposed to be an yet everything I want to be. I am not a hotshot MBA who has a fancy car and an awesome boyfriend. I don’t sing and write songs for a rock band in my free time.
In fact, I am no different than the girl I was in college or school. I still cry in the movies, I still sing along to my favourite songs, I still love my friends and go out of the way to be there for them and happily so. The friends are different though. I still ask my parents for their opinion before I make a decision. I still love my sister but I have learned to love our crazy fights.I still like to eat but I have found joy in exercising.
I am still me. A slightly different version, but the soul remains the same.
How stupid was I to have wanted to be all that was not me.
And yet so lucky to have found the people who love me and people I love. People who’re not blood relatives but thicker than ever with me. They love me for me and not because they have to. And some that I am just glad to have as family…
Nani, Om, Pannu, Satam, Lathi, Shefali, Shetty, Mariam, Sneha, Jugal, Parnil, Urvashi… A treasure trove of love I have scouted and will preserve for life.
After all someone’s already said ‘the only real difference between you now and you back then is the people and circumstances around you.’

I’ve been pondering this question for years. Why is it more acceptable for women to wear the pants in the relationship than the man? I have some friends who will be named A and B who are married and A is so proud that her man will do whatever she says. She’ll come out and say it, “oh B will do it because I told him to”. A nags him all the time and I’m sure it embarrasses him because she’ll do it in front of anyone. Almost as if she is his mother.

Now they have a baby and it’s even worse. “Are you gonna help me get him ready or just sit there?”, she”ll say to him. And all she has to do is put him in the car seat!!

I feel bad for B. He works his butt off so she can stay home and she treats him like that?! A while ago, way before the baby, we were all out one night and someone said to her “you’re gonna have to tell me how to get my husband to do that.” Pretty much jump when I say jump kinda thing. I thought to myself if that were the other way around he would be a controlling a-hole!!!

I don’t think it’s right for any one person in a relationship to have all the control and some girls want that but they would NEVER allow themselves to be treated like that! What’s up with that? And I actually now more women like this than I do men. Does anyone know anyone like this or maybe an explanation to why?

i make this weblog from my parent’s basement!

raccoon_squirrel

he’s the SQUIRREL that transforms into a RACCOON

let’s see some id

population: you!

thumbnails expand to full-size

more strips slated weekly at newdeference.wordpress.com/

O título nacional ficaria bem melhor num outro contexto. Mostrando que nossos sentimentos nos acompanharão sempre; e para onde formos. Como também, seguindo em paralelo as nossas carreiras profissionais. Estarão presente quer seja para nos deixar alegre ou triste; surpresos ou não; desejando ou não… O fato é que toda forma de amar nos motiva a seguir em frente. O amor existe, querendo ou não. Agora, parece que quem “traduz” os títulos por aqui, prefiram “contar” o filme; ou pelo menos fazem força para isso.

Em relação ao filme… Se não fixarmos na idéia que as mulheres só serão felizes casadas (Com alguém ao seu lado e numa de: felizes para sempre!), está aqui um bom divertimento.

O porque disso? É que o roteiro mostra que mesmo querendo ir para longe daqueles que as enganaram, essas duas personagens, bem sucedidas profissionalmente, encontram um novo alguém. Não que veja algo errado nisso. Mas deixa a impressão que o lado profissional não basta. Nem tampouco a liberdade conquistada traria satisfação. Há quem não queira uma relação duradoura. E isso também é válido para nós mulheres. Não é só com os homens que há essa fuga de um altar. E se por vezes queremos “férias” de algo próximo, não tem que ser necessariamente de algo que nos deixou mal. Pode ser apenas uma saída da rotina. Evitar um estresse.

Continuando com o roteiro… Com um forte sentimento de rejeição as duas personagens, pela internet, combinam a troca de casa por uns dias. E às vésperas do Natal. Me perguntei se seria para realçar uma vontade ainda maior de constituir uma família.

Esse tipo de transação – trocar as residências por um período – a princípio assusta a personagem da Cameron Diaz. Talvez pelo padrão elevado de vida; ou mesmo pela violência que vê, que ressalta nos filmes na sua Agência (Fazem trailers de divulgação dos longa-metragem.); ou mesmo do que vê pela tv. Mas acaba cedendo por querer tanto “sair”, afastar-se da desilusão. Mas terá um impacto ao ver onde se meteu…

Para a personagem da Kate Winslet, uma jornalista que assina uma importante coluna de um jornal, que mora num local pequeno, na Inglaterra, essas férias ainda mais em Los Angeles, veio em ótima hora. Mas só irá se dar conta da diferença de padrões de vida entre elas, também quando chegar na casa da outra.

O deslumbramento de uma, com a surpresa da outra, proporcionam gostosas risadas!

Em alguns textos, eu costumo ressaltar certas químicas entre dois atores resultando numa dobradinha gostosa de se ver. Não sendo necessário ser o par romântico. Nesse filme, essa química deu-se com a Kate Winslet e Eli Wallach. O personagem dele é um Roteirista dos velhos tempo de Hollywood. Famoso, em sua época. Os dois fazem o melhor desse filme. São cenas cativantes!

Como a que ele diz para ela:

“Eu vejo que você é uma mulher protagonista, mas por algum motivo está agindo como a melhor amiga. Você deve ser a protagonista da sua própria vida!“

Como também em abordar o que tem mais valor nos filmes atuais. Um tema interessante que poderia ter sido melhor explorado. Enfim, Eli Wallach, foi um coadjuvante que roubou a cena! Ou, o filme.

Ah sim! Não poderia deixar de citar outro coadjuvante que fez bonito: Jude Law. Nem tampouco o seu irresistível queixinho!! Uau!!

Para quem curtiu “Alguém tem que ceder” (Something’s Gotta Give), assina Direção e Roteiro desse, a Nancy Meyers. E mesmo com todos os clichês, eu recomendo “O Amor não Tira Férias” (The Holiday). Nota: 09.

Por: Valéria Miguez.

O Amor não tira Férias (The Holiday). 2006. EUA. Direção e Roteiro: Nancy Meyers. Elenco: Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Jack Black, Eli Wallach, Edward Burns, Rufus Sewell, Miffy Englefield, Emma Pritchard, Sarah Parish, Shannyn Sossamon, Dustin Hoffman, Lindsay Lohan, James Franco. Gênero: Romance, Comédia. Duração: 138 minutos.