Ultimamente un po’ di persone mi chiedono come rimuovere il limite di 72 min di Megavideo. Bè ho scoperto da poco un sito che somiglia molto a Megastreaming (non so se qualcuno di voi lo conosceva) in grado di generare un link di megavideo senza limite di tempo.

….Clicca per continuare a leggere

Having trouble uninstalling a program? Is your computer getting slower and slower? Get the best uninstaller software – Your Uninstaller! now to Make Your Computer Fast and Clean!

Your Uninstaller! uninstaller software is the industry’s leading uninstaller. It comes with SmartUninstall which helps you completely remove applications.Key features :

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INDIGENOUS people want the Rudd government to water down income management of Northern Territory indigenous welfare recipients by applying the measure selectively…. From The Australian. Full story

This site may contain information about: water waves. The blog is also related to: sea temp.

The H1N1 Swine Flu virus knows no borders,has no boundaries, and has absolutely no respect for religious or cultural traditions.

This year at the annual Hajj to Mecca,  Four foreign pilgrims have died of swine flu, the Saudi Health Ministry announced on Saturday.

The Saudi Arabia Health Ministry  said none of the four foreign victims had been vaccinated against the H1N1 virus, as has been recommended by The Health Ministry.

An official statement released by the ministry said all had underlying health problems, including cancer and respiratory illness, AFP news agency reported.

Three of the victims died in Medina and one in Mecca.

http://www.arabnews.com/?page=1&section=0&article=128688&d=22&m=11&y=200Over

The BBC is reporting that….up to three million Muslims from around the world take part in the holy pilgrimage every year, but health officials have expressed fears that it could provide a breeding ground for the virus.

Authorities had tried to prepare for any outbreaks by installing thermal cameras at airports and sea terminals, deploying 15,000 additional health workers and ensuring hundreds of extra beds were available.

The Hajj (Arabic: حج‎ Ḥaǧǧ) is a pilgrimage to Mecca. It is currently the largest annual pilgrimage in the world,^[1] and is the fifth pillar of Islam, a moral obligation that must be carried out at least once in their lifetime by every able-bodied Muslim who can afford to do so. The Hajj is a demonstration of the solidarity of the Muslim people, and their submission to Allah (God).^[2] The pilgrimage occurs from the 7th to 13th day of Dhu al-Hijjah, the 12th month of the Islamic calendar. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hajj)

The Health Minister has reported that there are 16 other people that have been diagnosed with swine flu and four remain in hospital in “critical condition”.

He added 12 others had recovered following treatment.

The Saudi government has recommended the elderly, pregnant women, people with chronic diseases and children skip the Hajj this year.

The Saudi government has said all pilgrims need a certificate of vaccination before they can apply for a visa.

This is real people, and this disease is spreading worldwide,at a rapid pace.

I encourage everyone to get a H1N1 swine flu shot as soon as you can.The reports of any side effects are exaggerated, and will cause millions of people to perish from the lack of the vaccine.

Any paranoia surrounding any alledged complications from the shot are totally unsubstantiated, and if those people out there insist on not receiving the vaccine, then we as a society should only expect more mounting mass casualties from the swine flu, as exhibited this weekend, unfortunately in Mecca.

If it can happen in Mecca, it can happen anywhere.

Please everyone, wash your hands, and go get the shot.

To follow the full story, click on the links for my sources below…

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iDApMAhUln5jw-ffhzIZCh0I_-bgD9C41MJ00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8372378.stm

http://www.saudiembassy.net/latest_news/news11210903.aspx

A few days ago I posted in the middle of the night how I was being kept awake by a mouse in the walls. Set out some traps, wait for it to come in and bang–catch a mouse.  The traps are still sitting there. We don’t have a mouse. I think we have a chipmunk. The thing is driving me mad. Every night it does more damage. Every night I try to scare it away. Every night I get no closer to figuring out how to get rid of it.

There are plenty of ways to catch a chipmunk, some lethal, some more pacifistic. The problem is that I do not know where to set any trap at this point. It isn’t coming into the house yet, thank the mammalian goddesses, but I also can’t find where it is traveling in and out of the walls. I naively filled in one tunnel early in the invasion. It hasn’t touched that spot since. Now I can’t find any tunnel. The spot it seemed to have gotten into the house has offered no signs of animal travel lately. It has another route in and out.

Rat traps, Haveaheart traps, hot pepper, whatever, I am willing to try it at this point, but where to place any such device or deterrent?  That is the question. My plan at this point is to get some traps and just set them out and about near where I thought it was getting in. Maybe I will get lucky. That will tomorrow’s task. Too late tonight. Maybe by filling in its tunnel it is trying to find a new way out by tunneling in the wall. I don’t know. If I set out traps and they offer nothing, maybe I will unclog the original tunnel and set the traps there.

In any case, this critter needs to go. And soon. Chipmunks are cute, but I am willing to resort to violence if necessary. I would prefer I find a way to simply get it out and keep it out, but that may prove fruitless. Stay tuned for more reports from the front lines.

More and more people are giving laser hair removal a shot! If you’re not into this hot, new treatment, then you’ve come to the right place. Imagine never having to deal with messy creams. Imagine talking to the grocery clerk and not having her stare at the hair on your upper lip. Imagine never having to hide your precious parts at the beach.

Stop imagining! You can make your dreams of hairless summers and hairless winters come true. First of all I believe it’s important for women and men to find out what causes abnormal hair growth before they start drastic measure to remove it. Doctors say hair usually grows abnormally due to hormones. Once you’ve determined whether you have health concerns related to your hair, then you can decide on the appropriate remedy.

Are Lasers That Remove Hair Safe?

I can tell you lasers are safe and effective in the removal of unwanted hair. A trained specialist can help you determine what treatment is best for you using your skin and hair type. With lasers you don’t have to worry about shaving, tweezing, or waxing now and forever. Forever sounds like a long time, doesn’t it? Lasers produce a beam of light that is used to remove hair. The light passes through the skin to the hair follicle. Once it gets to the hair it basically kills it. Neat, huh?

How Long Does A Treatment Take?

The process only takes less than an hour.

How Does Laser Hair Removal Work?

Lasers are attracted to dark colors. You’ll get the best results if your hair is darker than your complexion. You’re wondering if the laser has any side effects. It does if you have a tan. Tanning and lasering leads to burning. Ouch, it really hurts so you’ll want to beware of adding the two in combo. Also, it’s important to note that the laser doesn’t do a thing for blondes, white or gray haired people.

Are There Alternatives?

If you’re not ready to give lasers a shot, then there are several other techniques on the market that can help you get rid of your hair-raising problem. Let’s talk about the only permanent hair removal known to man right now. It’s called electrolysis. If you’re scared of needles, then this is not the treatment for you. You’ll want to make sure that you have not waxed or tweezed within a few days of having a treatment. This makes the hair follicle easier for the electrologist to reach.

The electrologist inserts a tiny needle into each hair follicle and uses a short impulse of energy to kill the root. Sounds, cool, huh? The hair is tweezed out one at a time. Sounds like an awfully long process. However, it only takes a few hours. You will most likely need more than one treatment to kill all of your hair. There are electrolysis kits that you can use at home, but I wouldn’t recommend it. You’re better off using a licensed electrologist.

What Probable Areas Can Be Treated?

Speaking of problems, what’s yours? Everyone has a specific area of the body where they want to be bald. Women usually hate facial hair on their upper lips, chin and sides of face. Hairs in those areas don’t seem to bother men that much! Okay, I shouldn’t joke about it! Hair on the lip is very troubling to most women. It can be removed using a bleaching procedure.

Tell me more about alternatives Bleaching works if your hair is similar in color to your skin. Be careful, bleaching lightens hair in dark complexions. I’ll never forget someone with a dark complexion once asked me if she could use a depilatory creams on the lip. No way, don’t even think! My response was fast and furious. Depilatories are harsh on sensitive skin and should never be placed on the lips or eyes areas.

The important thing to remember about depilatories is you should use them on the legs and thighs only. Depilatory creams dissolve the keratin in hair. As you can imagine that’s some pretty strong stuff! Be sure to test patches of skin before you put the cream on. The cream can cause rashes and skin discolorations. It is possible to treat a negative reaction with an anti-bacterial solution and antibiotic.

Waxing on the other hand is a great way to remove hair from the legs and thighs and bikini area. Your skin will feel so clean, smooth and soft after this procedure. Waxing doesn’t irritate your skin the way shaving and creams do. However, waxing is a temporary hair removal procedure.

Copyright (c) 2007 Barry Lycka

A four-month old infant girl is the latest casualty to succumb to the deadly H1N1 Swine flu virus that is spreading faster than a wildfire across the nation.

The flu pandemic is on the rise and has been allowed to kill at a rate that has gone unchecked, due to the lack of and the fear of taking the Swine flu vaccination.The vaccine has been doled out to a select few qualifying groups of minor children,health workers, and people who supervise and come in to contact with groups of children.

In this latest case, doctors suspect that, since infants under the age of 6 months can not take the current vaccine due to health risk, and the fact that her parents were not allowed to be vaccinated since they are not in a rationing qualifying group, they were all at risk to be infected by the virus.

It is being reported in the media that both of the deceased baby girls siblings had received the H1N1 vaccinations, as their parents value and respect the vaccination program.

The infant had no known underlying medical conditions, according to the San Diego County Health and Human Services Agency, and none of the family members, vaccinated or not, tested positive for the virus, so it is still a mystery as to how the infant contracted the disease. They also report that the child had no underlying medical conditions, that has been known to make the virus even more deadly, and has been cited as the cause of dying from the disease.

I suspect that someone kissed the child, or hugged her, as people tend to do with babies, and that would be hard to track, and most Americans do not wash their hands after using the bathroom or sneezing in their hands,which only helps to spread the disease.

“If a child that age — up to 5 years old — gets a fever, shows symptoms, the parents should seek medical care as soon as possible because they can go down the tubes really fast,” County public health officer Wilma Wooten said.

Doctors at the Rady children’s Hospital in San Diego say that this case is unusual because the child exhibited no signs of the flu. She only had a little bit of a cough, but no fever or running nose for about four days.

On the fourth day the mom put the child down to sleep, and 45 minutes in to the babies nap, the mom discovered the child had stopped breathing.

She was rushed to Paradise Valley Hospital in south San Diego and was resuscitated, then flown to Rady’s children’s Hospital, where she died 24 hours later.

Dr. John Bradley of Rady’s Children Hospital stated that…We now know that H1N1 probably had something to do with setting up the baby for not breathing”…

To date, there have been 33 deaths of San Diego County residents linked to the H1N1 influenza and four deaths of non-residents, according to the HHSA. The number of people hospitalized with the virus locally stands at 617!!!

There is only enough vaccines to help 13% of the population, but each of the county’s where the infant died, six public health centers and one immunization clinic have each received between 20 and 60 additional doses of injectable H1N1 vaccine, according to the HHSA.

Those vaccines will be given to pregnant women which is a high risk group that is given priority due the rationing of the vaccinations due to a production shortage.

I am also afraid that the paranoia associated with the fear of the side effects of the vaccination will only help to spread the disease even quicker.I personally know some associates of mine that refuse to be inoculated due to their holistic beliefs, and some people reject it out of pure ignorance.

The problem with all of that is that Americans continue to have deplorable personal hygiene. I have witnessed some who think it is funny to sneeze and cough in the face of some unsuspecting citizen, in a ‘Jackass” inspired joke, and these are the same guys that do not bother to wash their hands after using the restroom.

I would rather risk the side effects of the H1N1 vaccine, than risk having to rely upon the general public to wash their hand,..or for that matter to wash their bodies at all. I know the latter is more of a risk, and I refuse to gamble with my health.

Those with underlying medical conditions experiencing influenza-like symptoms should contact their doctor immediately, according to the Health and Human Services Agency .

County health officials again encouraged people to stay away from work or school if they have influenza-like symptoms such as fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue.

Please practice safe and sane pristine personal hygiene…our lives depend on our cleanliness!!!

Follow this story by clicking on this link….

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/health/Infant-Dies-of-Swine-Flu-70416072.html

I would visit each arean and remove that stupid / annoying fog horn that sounds after each goal.

Seriously?!?

Do we still need this???

En esta Oportunidad les Traigo una recopilación de lo q yo concidero son los comandos más, utiles, importantes y usados tanto en Ubuntu como en muchas otras distros linux

• Adduser: Se utiliza para añadir un usuario.

Uso: adduser <nombreusuario>

• Alias (este esta bien explicado en un post anterior)
  

Uso: alias nombrequeledamos=’comando’

• apt-get install nombredelprograma =  instala el paquete.

• apt-get remove nombredelprograma = Borra el paquete. Con la opción –purge borra tambien la configuración del paquete instalado.

• apt-get update = Actualiza la lista de paquetes disponibles para instalar.

• apt-get upgrade  = Instala las nuevas versiones de los diferentes paquetes disponibles.

• cd = Cambia el directorio.

Uso: cd nombredirectorio

Continuar leyendo el resto de comandos:

• chmod: Cambia los permisos de los archivos.

r:lectura w:escritura x:ejecución
+: añade permisos -:quita permisos
u:usuario g:grupo del usuario o:otros
Uso: chmod permisos nombrearchivo

• chown: Cambia el propietario de un archivo.

Uso: chown <nombrepropietario> <nombrearchivo>

• cp:Copia archivos en el directorio indicado.

Uso: cp archivoorigen archivodestino

• deluser: Elimina una cuenta de usuario

Uso: deluser <nombreusuario>

• exit: Cierra las ventanas o las conexiones remotas establecidas

• fsck: Sirve para chequear si hay errores en nuestro disco duro.

Uso: fsck -t <fs_typo> <dispositivo>

• ftp: Protocolo de Transferencia de Archivos, permite transferir archivos de y para computadores remotos.

Uso: ftp <maquina_remota>

• grep: Su funcionalidad es la de escribir en salida estándar aquellas líneas que concuerden con un patrón. Busca patrones en archivos.

grep: grep <patronabuscar> <nombrearchivos>

• ifconfig: Obtener información de la configuración de red

• kill: Termina un proceso

Uso: kill numeroPID

• ls:Lista los archivos y directorios dentro del directorio de trabajo.

• make: Crea ejecutables a partir de los archivos fuente.

• man: muestra el manual de un programa o comando si este esta disponible

Uso: man <nombredelcomando>

• mkdir: Crea un nuevo directorio.

Uso: mkdir nombredirectorio

• mount: Monta una unidad.

Uso: mount -t< sistema_de_archivo> <dispositivo> <nombredirectorio>

• mv: Este comando sirve para renombrar un archivo.

Uso: mv <nombrearchivo> <nuevonombrearchivo>

• netstat:Muestra las conexiones y puertos abiertos por los que se establecen las comunicaciones.

• poweroff: Apaga el ordenador.

• ps: Muestra información acerca de los procesos activos.

• rlogin: Conecta un host local con un host remoto.

Uso: rlogin <maquina_remota>

• rm: Remueve o elimina un archivo.

Uso: rm <rutaynombrearchivo>

• rmdir: Elimina el directorio indicado, el cual debe estar vacío.

Uso: rmdir nombredirectorio

• sudo o su: Con este comando accedemos al sistema como root.

• umount: Desmontar unidades montadas anteriormente

Uso: umount <nombredirectorio>

• wc:Cuenta los caráteres, palabras y líneas del archivo de texto.

Uso: wc nom_archivo

• whereis: Devuelve la ubicación del archivo especificado, si existe.

Uso: whereis nomb_archivo

Larga vida a la consola!!

Art requires sacrifices. This is what American rapper 50 Cent had to understand when he was forced to remove the tattoos on his hands for the new film he will play in.

50 Cent has to do this sacrifice for the role in the movie “The Dance”, where he has to play the character of an ex convict. “Because of my tattoos I should always be four hours earlier on the set. So much it takes to cover my tattoos at make up”, confessed 50 Cent.

Along 50 Cent, in the movie to be launched mid next year will also play Nicolas Cage. Actor aged 45 years will interpret the character of Billy Roth, who’s 50’s boxing coach.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

حين ترغب فى حذف أحد الروابط Hyperlink من ورقة العمل فإنك تتبع الخطوات التالى ذكرها لحذف ذلك الرابط (رابط واحد فقط)، لكن فى حالة وجود مجموعة من الروابط فإنك لا تستطيع تحديد هذه الروابط ومن ثم حذفها فى مرة واحدة؛ اليوم سنتعرف على كيفية القيام بهذه المهمة فى عدة خطوات بسيطة.

أولاً : حذف رابط واحد

1. حدد الخلية التى يوجد بها الرابط Hyperlink
2. Right Click على الخلية
3. نختار Remove Hyperlink

ثانياً : حذف عدة روابط مرة واحدة

1. نكتب الرقم 1 فى خلية فارغة (يمكنك أن تكتب اى قيمة رقمية أخرى)
2. نقوم بعمل Copy لهذه الخلية
3. نحدد جميع الخلايا التى نريد حذف الروابط منها
4. من مربع الحوار Paste Special نختار Multiply ثم Ok (يمكنك إختيار أى عملية رياضية أخرى)


بذلك يكون الرابط قد تم حذفه من الخلية على الرغم من أن تنسيق الخلية يبدو و كأنه رابط Hyperlink وللتخلص من هذا التنسيق نقوم بهذه الخطوة الأخيرة

5. نختار Normal من القائمة Home » Styles » Cell Styles » Normal
   

أو Home » Editing » Clear » Clear Formating

إكسل 2003
من خلال القائمة Edit » Clear » Format

المصدر :
1137 Removing Hyperlinks

فى رعاية الله

»يمكنك الإطلاع على جميع موضوعات المدونة من خلال الأرشيف.
»إذا كانت هذه هى زيارتك الأولى للموقع، فلا تنس أن تشترك فى خلاصات الموقع عبر الـ RSS أو عبر الـ e-mailللحصول على جديد الموقع مباشرة.

Read on for a quick run-through of various hair-removal methods, and select the options that work best for you. Often, a combination of various methods is the best bet.

Waxing

Waxing is a very widely used method of hair removal here in India. It is very convenient as one needs just do it once a month or so. In addition, there are a number of women who readily come to your home, charge very nominally, and wax your body quickly and efficiently. The advantages of waxing are that as opposed to shaving or using a cream, hair grows back much slower. This is because the hair is removed from the roots.

However, if your skin is sensitive you may not be able to wax, as you may develop boils on certain areas of your skin. You may also develop in-growths when the hair grows out, leading to rough skin. But not everyone has these issues. If waxing works for your skin, it is an efficient, hassle-free method of hair removal.

Threading

Threading is best when used on smaller areas, and is often used to remove hair on the upper lip. It is also used to remove excessive hair around eyebrows, and define them. You can thread your upper lip yourself, but don’t try and thread around eyebrows, as you may ruin the shape, causing one eye to look bigger than the other! You can also remove excessive forehead hair by threading. But if this causes pimples, don’t do it.

Bleaching

The face is very sensitive, and if you have a lot of hair on your face, it makes sense to wax sideburns, thread upperlip and eyebrows, and bleach the rest of your face. Don’t pull out hair from all over your face as you may develop a rash. Bleach it if your skin is light. Remember that bleach does contain chemicals, and is not necessarily gentle on your skin. Make sure you moisturise your face regularly, especially if you bleach, and reapply bleach only after a minimum of fifteen days have passed since your last application.

Laser

Laser is a great permanent solution to get rid of body hair. It is especially suited for areas where it is not easy to use other methods of hair removal. If you have a lot of hair on your back, and are not able to wax it because you develop boils, a good option would be to try using laser. You could of course choose to remove hair from all over your body with the help of laser, but it is expensive. But before ruling out this method, speak to a clinic that offers this services and find out about any packages they may be offering. You can even try a single session to dramatically reduce the hair from a certain area – but this will not work if you want every single hair removed. Laser is great for a hairy back or shoulders, and just a single session may reduce the hair dramatically. Any re-growth may not be as noticeable.

Hair removal creams

Hair removal creams contain harsh chemicals, and are often believed to cause darkening of the skin when used over a prolonged period. But these make good options when you want to expose a certain body part and need to remove hair gently. For example if you need to wear a lehenga at a wedding and your belly will be exposed, you can use a hair-removal cream as a one-off solution.

More beauty tips and planning a baby tips from http://www.indiaparenting.com

Microdermabrasion can help to minimise those nasty scars on the surface of the skin Carry on reading to see how this can be achieved. Before the process can be explained it is important to understand the process underlying scar formation.

The process of scar formation:
Depending on the nature of the initial skin injury, skin healing usually begins with a local inflammatory response around the site of insult. This renders the injured portion of the skin quite painful and sensitive. During the process of inflammation, inflammatory cells are recruited from the body to localise at the site of the skin injury where they release many inflammatory mediators and cell signalling molecules which begin the process of skin repair. Some cells that are recruited to the site of injury lay down collagen (a connective tissue substance that aims to patch up the sites of skin tears/injury) to fortify and repair the damaged area of skin. In minor skin injuries, where the wound is superficial, the process of repair is quite efficient. But in moderate to major skin injuries, deposition of collagen is greatly uncontrolled which leads to the over deposition of collagen. This leads to a bigger scar which ultimately leads to a more thicker and visible scar.

How microdermabrasion scar reduction comes into play:
As you may already know, microdermabrasion aims to remove the stratum corneum (the dead outermost layer of skin) revealing a fresh vibrant layer of skin. The fresh layer of skin has a relatively good blood supply compared to the stratum corneum which consists mainly of dead epithelial skin cells. With the removal of the dead cell layer, the skin is given better definition with a resulting improvement in overall skin complexion.

Repeated treatments of microdermabrasion scar reduction (approximately performed every six weeks) can significantly reduce the appearance of those annoying scars in unwanted places. But there is one thing to bear in mind; microdermabrasion can only minimise the appearance of scar but not remove them permanently. The reason behind this is that some scars can penetrate down to the middle parts of the skin layers which microdermabrasion does not remove; as it can only remove the outermost layer of dead skin cells.

The plus points:
In general, microdermabrasion does not carry serious risks and is relatively safe. This procedure does not involve any form anaesthesia and can be done in a matter of thirty minute to an hour. Results can be seen in after two to three sessions. As well as obtaining scar reduction treatment, you will also be able to enjoy a vibrant skin complexion.

As they updated the computers at my work, I couldn’t ssh on them any more, because the public keys have changed, too. As I found out here, you can remove a key by using

ssh-keygen -R some.host.org

.

Friday’s project here at Rennen Autohaus was to replace the horns on a Cayenne Turbo, which is made slightly more difficult because of the intercoolers found only on the turbo models.  The horns are a common failing point on the Cayenne and on the N/A cars it’s a fairly simple job to replace them.  You can go in through the wheel wells and get access to the pair of horns, one on each side of the car; however on the Turbo trucks the entire front bumper must be removed to gain access.

In order to do this there are a number of screws to remove in each wheel-well, as well as above and below the bumper.  After that you’ll need to remove the head lights using the Porsche supplied tool (or a deep socket) and there are a pair of securing tabs that will need to be depressed as the bumper is slid out-of-place.  It’s best to use a friend at this point to be safe as the front bumper is quite heavy and it’s a handful to depress the tabs, support the bumper and coax it out-of-place all while not scratching anything.

After the bumper is removed it’s a simple 2 minute job, unscrew the old horns and unplug then reverse the process to put everything back together.

This truck is running Fabspeed’s complete exhaust and Cat By-pass system so I’m not sure why the horns are even needed… If he want’s attention it’s a simple matter of the pedal on the right!

I flew on a plane a little over a month after September 11.

I’ve ridden several roller coasters boasting themselves to be the tallest/fastest/only in the country/world/general vicinity.

I took a girl that I and many others claimed to be the hottest in the world out to dinner twice.

I’ve been two blocks from Harlem at 1:30 in the morning.

I’ve been to New Jersey.

Despite all of these things, nothing petrified me more than when the oral surgeon who hovered over my mouth for the better part of an hour said “Okay, open up.”

Back in early 2006, a toothache kept me awake all night, despite multiple doses of Tylenol taken by me in a desperate and possibly illegal attempt to remedy the discomfort. The episode prompted me to visit my dentist for the first time in nearly three years. Sure, the part-time jobs that filled my post-collegiate, post-being-kicked-off-my-dad’s-insurance-while-I-was-a-student life and their lack of a dental plan had gotten me used to a DDS-free existence, but my toothache, which is the only ailment that can hurt so much that it actually pisses you off, prompted me to take advantage of my current (full-time) job’s dental coverage and schedule an appointment.

Despite the usual poking and prodding of every sensitive area of my mouth with instruments that shouldn’t even be within a 50 mile radius of your damned HEAD, the appointment went well…until my dentist started dropping terms like “abscess” and “root canal” in regards to MY teeth. He suggested I get three of my four wisdom teeth removed. I later figured out why your four molars are dubbed “wisdom teeth”: it is wise to leave them in, no matter how severely they might decay.

He recommended me to a few oral surgeons in the area to have the procedure done. I’m sure he had the means to do this type of operation in his own office, but my guess is that, were he to do it, he knew that I would never trust him again to place anything in my mouth that wasn’t a steak.

So I ultimately visited one of the three recommended experts; I know now that my decision was the wrong one, for one of the plaques hanging in the waiting room had the typical engraved recognition of the guy’s work…and a fucking GAVEL attached alongside it. Of all the possible objects one thinks of attaching to a plaque that will hang in the waiting area of a DENTAL expert, the LAST thing should be a small HAMMER. It’d be like walking into a proctologist’s office and seeing a bronzed erect dick on the wall.

Anyway, I got X-rayed and was forced to sit in a room alone with the results:

Personally, I thought all of my teeth looked perfectly fine. Sure, I was basing this judgment on whether or not my teeth were all there, but I guess that wasn’t good enough for the dental community.

Soon, the dentist arrived: a tiny, wrinkled elder who might have performed surgery on Moses’ mouth. He looked more like the type of guy you see cruising down the Interstate in the left lane with his blinker on, going a whopping 16 MPH, his entire body frame pressed up against the steering column. And I was supposed to trust this man with sharp objects near my gums?

I had opted for the “local” anesthesia (meaning that I would be awake and Novacaine would be applied to my gums), which, in retrospect, was one of the dumbest decisions I ever made since insisting that we all eat at White Castle. This is not to say that I am an advocate for the “general” anesthesia (where you are put to sleep), either, for what you don’t know about this is the fact that you have to sign a form acknowledging that you understand that such a practice carries with it, among other things, the slight risk of CARDIAC ARREST and DEATH.

DEATH for a TOOTH? I’ll opt for Tom Hanks’ ice skate procedure that he did in “Castaway.”

A few nurses came in, bringing the grand total of people who would be extracting objects that had been in my mouth since infancy to THREE. Fucking THREE. My family’s mechanic can fix an entire damn CAR by HIMSELF. After they—why not?—took my blood pressure, it was time for the Novacaine.

Which was in a syringe.

Which had a needle attached to it.

Which was being poked into three of my GUMS.

I’ve been a fan of the MTV show “Jackass” since it premiered and loved its subsequent movies. One thing I failed to notice about the show until that day was the fact that not a single one of the “Jackass” cast members underwent oral surgery. They would ram shopping carts into each other, attach bottle rockets to their schlongs, shove toy cars up their butts, and intentionally give each other paper cuts…but they apparently (and wisely) drew the line at oral surgery.

“This might hurt a little” the doctor said as he advanced the needle towards my mouth. Several excruciatingly painful moments later, I realized he is also probably the type of person to remark that the Pacific Ocean is “just a little damp.” As we all waited for the drug to numb my face, I decided that coming here in the first place pretty much carried with it Class A Retard Status, so I decided to keep going with the stupidity. Before everyone present could start to small talk with me about sports or some such shit, I informed them all of my then-upcoming trip to Honolulu.

Dropping a bombshell like this in the middle of February in Pennsylvania is guaranteed to make just about anyone jealous. But doing so in an oral surgeon’s office probably intensified the jealousy to the point where they undoubtedly felt that the pain they would soon inflict on me would be well justified. Maybe I hoped that releasing this information would somehow cause them to say, “Oh, well, you don’t need to have these teeth removed, for the air in Hawai’i will automatically cure them.” No such luck, though.

My 3:15 appointment ended a little before 4:00, which might mean it took 45 minutes (possibly less) in actual time, but in Guy-Who’s-Stuck-in-the-Chair-Having-the-Procedure-Done Time, it felt more like several years. Before digging in my mouth for enamel treasure, the doctor put his hand on my shoulder and pressed lightly on it.

“See what I’m doing here? I’m just applying a little pressure. That’s all you’re going to feel: just a little bit of pressure.”

Yeah.

In all honesty, aside from some definite, noticeable “pressure,” the first tooth came out relatively easy. But the SECOND and THIRD teeth, who were now aware of what was going on once their upper left side neighbor was forcibly evicted, decided that there would be no better time to firmly embed themselves in my jaw as hard as they could. In other words, their removal was the largest pain I or anyone else has ever felt. I would have rather had a screwdriver stuck into my eyeball. I would have rather had a piece of the lead from mechanical pencils shoved up my penis hole. I would have rather listened to the collective works of Kenny G and Yanni SIMULTANEOUSLY.

It honestly felt like he was pushing the tooth further BACK in my mouth instead of pulling it out. I have no idea what tools he was using, for I kept my eyes closed the whole time. All I can tell you was that a fucking DRILL was started at one point to aid in the removal. I had my mouth twisted open every possible and impossible way, and the fact that the “spit sucker” had made my mouth drier than the Sahara Desert in June wasn’t exactly helping matters much. Twisting, pulling, pushing, and virtually every other action (except that “slight pressure”) that should never be undertaken in a mouth were performed on me by the three experts, which I swear had multiplied to about 50 by that point. I guarantee that, when you go to Hell, you do not eternally burn in bubbling cauldrons; you get wisdom teeth pulled. When you’re having that done to you, soaking in giant black pots over the hottest flames in creation is a much more pleasant alternative. It was somewhere in this conscious nightmare that I formed the first rational thought of the day: the lone wisdom tooth that remains in my mouth…the one whose removal the doctor said was “optional”…is staying right where it is, along with all of my other teeth. Cavemen never had to have their teeth eventually replaced with “dentures”, and they are still alive today (at least according to certain Geico commercials).

Still not entirely positive that it was still February or even the year 2006, I was eventually free to go. My molars had been officially replaced by a seemingly infinite taste of blood and two pieces of gauze on either side of my mouth. In fact, to rub it in, they gave me ADDITIONAL gauze in case I were to need it:

In fact, this was given to me before the operation commenced, but the ensuing pain caused me to twist and rip the poor innocent package to shreds. The package pictured above, which I have thankfully yet to open, was the second one bestowed upon me.

Now in possession of dry lips with no feeling to them, I also noticed that the gauze and leftover Novacaine had left me sounding like a Special Olympics athlete, which served me right, seeing as how the entire decision to get this done in the first place was retarded.

I also got a prescription for some sort of pain medication:

…which my sister, who works at a doctor’s office, later informed me was exceptionally “weak.” She suggested I take ibuprofen with each dose and, having already achieved my life’s highest stupidity levels that day, decided to listen to her, despite her being the same person who once thought that we wouldn’t be able to start our car because the power went out.

In addition to the $635 bill, I was presented with a list of rules to follow in the days after the surgery. Basically, I was not allowed to eat anything firmer than pudding and that everything that entered my mouth can be no other temperature aside from “lukewarm.” Interestingly, it tells me not to touch the affected areas with my tongue or fingers…but then states to brush my teeth no later than the next day! In other words, my tongue, which really doesn’t have an option to leave my mouth or rub up against its enamel neighbors, is not to even look at either side of my mouth, but a damn toothbrush is more than welcome. Yeah, I’m supposed to insert ANOTHER thin object into my mouth.

The rules also tell me to rinse my mouth out with SALT WATER the next day. Yeah, salt on three separate wounds. That will be fun.

Anyway, I came home, situated my ass in bed, and was generously waited on hand and foot by my family. Many cups of vanilla pudding were ingested, as were numerous pain pills and water.

And why?

Because of these culprits right here. Here are two of the three little bastards that made Presidents’ Day 2006 one of the worst days of my life thus far (the other one came out in “pieces” and thus couldn’t be salvaged):

Removes the shop to fling crazily

Submitted by: lansf80781 via Engrish Funny Submissions

Found on a shop in Beijing

Do you want to learn how to remove it completely, a Trojan horse virus quickly and easily? Most of the time, users who are on the Internet prior problems with trojan virus and malware attacks, which subsequently causes other damage such as data loss or slow computer processing speed encounter is accessed.

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Sources: Wilders Security

Nowadays everything is in video format. We’ve of course got tons of video uploading sites, such as YouTube, Google Video, Revver, Blip.tv, but we also use it for a lot, not just entertainment. We use it to learn and to teach, for example. And lastly, it’s more and more present these days, what with mobile devices and general portability. We like to carry videos around on our iPods or BlackBerrys.

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