az ötödik és egyben utolsó rész – elolvasom

Szeretném elmondani, hogy ezzel a történtettel egyáltalán nem a drogfogyaztásra akartalak Titeket rávenni.
Amúgy miközben írtam végig a The Rasmus – Liquid c. számát hallgattam.

Egyébként örülnék néhány véleménynek, úgy az egésszel kapcsolatban…

Originally achieving some sort of semblance of fame as the singer-guitarist of ’80s alternative band Pop Will Eat Itself, Clint Mansell is today the man I will happily and enthusiastically call the best film score composer working today. Born in Coventry in 1963, Mansell’s work as an indie musician revealed a spirit keen to explore new ground, encompassing pop, hip-hop, electronica and rock over their 10 year existence from from ‘86 to ‘96.

After the band members went their separate ways, Mansell was approached by young filmmaker Darren Aronofsky to score his debut feature, π (sometimes written as Pi). Following the success of π, Aronofsky and Mansell collaborated again, resulting in one of the most iconic pieces of film composition of all time. Reused everywhere from the trailers for Lord of the Rings to Sky Sports News, ‘Lux Aeterna’, taken from Mansell’s soundtrack for Requiem for a Dream is a swirling, menacing orchestral arrangement that almost anyone will recognise if you sing it to them, even if they don’t know where it came from. The refrain of ‘Lux Aeterna’ appears in Requiem for a Dream in several different forms, as Mansell blends the classical strings piece with trip-hop, trance and techno versions, alongside made-up gameshow themes and crazed dance tunes. Aronofsky’s second film is a masterpiece for many reasons, but I’m certain nobody would disagree with the assertion that Mansell’s score is a very important part of that; the film’s infamously harrowing climax would be a lesser sequence without ‘Lux Aeterna’ on the soundtrack.

The soundtrack for Requiem for a Dream made Mansell’s reputation as a film score composer, and he began to accept regular jobs, including working on films as diverse as The Hole, Sahara and Doom.

In 2006, Mansell’s 3rd film with Darren Aronofsky, The Fountain was released. Although the film continues to divide critics and audiences, there can be no dispute that the score is one of the most moving, exhilarating film scores of all time. Made while working with the respected Kronos String Quartet and the Scottish post-rock band Mogwai, The Fountain includes several solo piano pieces, as well as Mansell’s more familiar electronic quirks and orchestral grandeur, and is arguably both the most ambitious and most successful musically of his work to date. Wherever you stand on the film as a whole (and I happen to regard The Fountain as one of the finest works of cinema it has ever been my privilege to see), the soundtrack just works perfectly, both with and without the accompanying visuals.

For Smokin’ Aces in 2007, the director, Joe Carnahan, gave Clint Mansell just six weeks to compose and record the entire score, with no guiding rough cut. And he did it. On time. Not only were Mansell’s fans satisfied with the work, but when the Smokin’ Aces soundtrack was released without Mansell’s compositions, Carnahan claims to have had fans driving past his house in the dead of night playing the Requiem for a Dream score at full volume. Carnahan even jokingly suggests that he had received threats of physical violence: true or not, the fans’ demands were heard, and Mansell’s score for Smokin’ Aces got an album release.

Over the last couple of years, Clint Mansell has worked again with director Darren Aronofsky on the Oscar-nominated The Wrestler, starring Mickey Rourke. Although The Wrestler does not have the same kind of scene-stealing music as Mansell’s previous work with Aronofsky, it is nonetheless an effective, subtler attempt at a score. This year, Mansell created a sparse piano, guitar, drums and effects score for Duncan Jones’s debut sci-fi, Moon. One of my favourite films of this year, Moon is a brooding, quiet, atmospheric movie that is really made great by four things: Sam Rockwell’s career-best performance; Jones’s assured, note-perfect direction; the eye-catching production design by Tony Noble; and Mansell’s routinely great score.

I haven’t heard nearly as much of his work as I would like to, but he’s a rare figure in cinema; a composer whose involvement in a project would be enough to make me see a film. Everything I have heard by Clint Mansell has been distinctive and beautiful in equal measure. I’m hoping that his work with Aronofsky will continue, and hope that he’ll be working on Duncan Jones’s second film, the sci-fi-noir Mute (currently set for release in 2011).

As I close this article up, the penultimate track of The Fountain is playing on my iTunes library. One of the tracks featuring both the Kronos Quartet and Mogwai, ‘Death Is The Road To Awe’ is an 8 minute epic of guitar, piano, orchestra, choir and percussion, with a chiming glockenspiel melody alongside the grand sweeping strings section. It’s a fitting sonic accompaniment to the end to one of the few films that I would identify as “life changing”.

David

10 facts about dreams

10. Blind People Dream

People who become blind after birth can see images in their dreams. People who are born blind do not see any images, but have dreams equally vivid involving their other senses of sound, smell, touch and emotion. It is hard for a seeing person to imagine, but the body’s need for sleep is so strong that it is able to handle virtually all physical situations to make it happen.

9. You Forget 90% of your Dreams

Within 5 minutes of waking, half of your dream if forgotten. Within 10, 90% is gone. The famous poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, woke one morning having had a fantastic dream (likely opium induced) – he put pen to paper and began to describe his “vision in a dream” in what has become one of English’s most famous poems: Kubla Khan. Part way through (54 lines in fact) he was interrupted by a “Person from Porlock“. Coleridge returned to his poem but could not remember the rest of his dream. The poem was never completed.

8. Everybody Dreams

Every human being dreams (except in cases of extreme psychological disorder) but men and women have different dreams and different physical reactions. Men tend to dream more about other men, while women tend to dream equally about men and women. In addition, both men and women experience sexually related physical reactions to their dreams regardless of whether the dream is sexual in nature; males experience erections and females experience increased vaginal blood flow.

7. Dreams Prevent Psychosis

In a recent sleep study, students who were awakened at the beginning of each dream, but still allowed their 8 hours of sleep, all experienced difficulty in concentration, irritability, hallucinations, and signs of psychosis after only 3 days. When finally allowed their REM sleep the student’s brains made up for lost time by greatly increasing the percentage of sleep spent in the REM stage.

6. We Only Dream of What We Know

Our dreams are frequently full of strangers who play out certain parts – did you know that your mind is not inventing those faces – they are real faces of real people that you have seen during your life but may not know or remember? The evil killer in your latest dream may be the guy who pumped petrol in to your Dad’s car when you were just a little kid. We have all seen hundreds of thousands of faces through our lives, so we have an endless supply of characters for our brain to utilize during our dreams.

5. Not Everyone Dreams in Color

A full 12% of sighted people dream exclusively in black and white. The remaining number dream in full color. People also tend to have common themes in dreams, which are situations relating to school, being chased, running slowly/in place, sexual experiences, falling, arriving too late, a person now alive being dead, teeth falling out, flying, failing an examination, or a car accident. It is unknown whether the impact of a dream relating to violence or death is more emotionally charged for a person who dreams in color than one who dreams in black and white.

4. Dreams are not about what they are about

If you dream about some particular subject it is not often that the dream is about that. Dreams speak in a deeply symbolic language. The unconscious mind tries to compare your dream to something else, which is similar. Its like writing a poem and saying that a group of ants were like machines that never stop. But you would never compare something to itself, for example: “That beautiful sunset was like a beautiful sunset”. So whatever symbol your dream picks on it is most unlikely to be a symbol for itself.

3. Quitters have more vivid dreams

People who have smoked cigarettes for a long time who stop, have reported much more vivid dreams than they would normally experience. Additionally, according to the Journal of Abnormal Psychology: “Among 293 smokers abstinent for between 1 and 4 weeks, 33% reported having at least 1 dream about smoking. In most dreams, subjects caught themselves smoking and felt strong negative emotions, such as panic and guilt. Dreams about smoking were the result of tobacco withdrawal, as 97% of subjects did not have them while smoking, and their occurrence was significantly related to the duration of abstinence. They were rated as more vivid than the usual dreams and were as common as most major tobacco withdrawal symptoms.”

2. External Stimuli Invade our Dreams

This is called Dream Incorporation and it is the experience that most of us have had where a sound from reality is heard in our dream and incorporated in some way. A similar (though less external) example would be when you are physically thirsty and your mind incorporates that feeling in to your dream. My own experience of this includes repeatedly drinking a large glass of water in the dream which satisfies me, only to find the thirst returning shortly after – this thirst… drink… thirst… loop often recurs until I wake up and have a real drink. The famous painting above (Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee around a Pomegranate a Second Before Awakening) by Salvador Dali, depicts this concept.

1. You are paralyzed while you sleep

Believe it or not, your body is virtually paralyzed during your sleep – most likely to prevent your body from acting out aspects of your dreams. According to the Wikipedia article on dreaming, “Glands begin to secrete a hormone that helps induce sleep and neurons send signals to the spinal cord which cause the body to relax and later become essentially paralyzed.”

Extra Facts

1. When you are snoring, you are not dreaming.
2. Toddlers do not dream about themselves until around the age of 3. From the same age, children typically have many more nightmares than adults do until age 7 or 8.
3. If you are awakened out of REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, you are more likely to remember your dream in a more vivid way than you would if you woke from a full night sleep.

Source : forward mail
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Első dolog: mindenki csak saját felelősségre!
4. rész – elolvasom

Ma két részt akartam írni, de hogy őszinte legyek, nem akartalak titeket sem teljesen sokkolni és én sem lettem volna képes kettő ilyet összehozni.

Tudom, durva téma, durva tálalás, de azért kaphatnék véleményt?

"Kings and Queens" is the first single off 30 Seconds to Mars' This Is War

PREVIEW: WATCH 30 Seconds to Mars’ new video for “Kings and Queens“

30 Seconds to Mars have never been a groundbreaking band. They write some decent rock songs, and their lead singer is a really good actor. (If you haven’t seen Requiem for a Dream, rent it immediately.) The one thing they always did well was make music videos.  “Attack, The Kill and From Yesterday” are really cool music videos. In an age where the art of the music video is waning, these guys continued to make some cool, long form music videos. Sadly, their latest music video for “Kings and Queens” is a disappointment. Some of the shots of a deserted Los Angeles are cool, but all the video does is show a bunch of people riding bikes. Watch the video and let me know what you think.

– Eric Hoffman, Features Editor

Egyik nap selejteztem a gépemen. Sorra töröltem olyan dolgokat, amik már nem illettek bele jelenlegi világomba.. azonban sok dolgot kimentettem a végleges elfeledés homályából..:):)

Nézegettem a mappáim, és találtam egyet, ami tele volt dalszövegekkel; régi számok szövegeivel, amiket egykor sokat hallgattam és jelentéseik vannak.. Egyikre kimondottan szívesen emlékszem vissza; málnaszörpös vodka, Requiem és egy mosolygós/sírós este..

Úgy gondolom, egy ilyen rendszerezés és kiszórás néha kell.. persze attól, hogy töröltem 1-2 dolgot, az emlékeket nem tudom kitörölni; és nem is akarom.. történt bármi, elmúlt barátság, kapcsolat vagy akármi, ha vissza nézek, csak a szépre akarok emlékezni.. ami meg olyan, külön mappában tárolom tovább..:)

Már nem neheztelek senkire.. ami történt, megtörtént, van, amit szívesen vissza csinálnék; de már nem lehet és ez így van jól. Valószínű lesz olyan, akivel soha de soha többé nem beszélek, nem találkozok.. de talán lesznek barátságok, amik nem örökre hűltek ki; és egy szép napon egy cukrászdában ülünk majd, sütit majszolunk és nevetünk azon, milyen butaság volt elszakadni.. ezért mondjuk azért nekem is kell tennem..

Optimista vagyok.. hiszek a csodákban és abban, hogy az emberek képesek változni, képesek változtatni.. nemrég még nem hittem; de már elhiszem..

Minden egyes csalódás vagy boldogság, könnycsepp vagy mosoly kellett ahhoz, hogy itt tartsak, ahol vagyok.. és hogy merre tovább? Ez nem csak rajtam múlik.. én igyekszem mindent úgy csinálni, hogy az helyes legyen..

Ami viszont biztos: akik engem szeretnek, azokat én is szeretem; és akikre számíthatok, azok rám is számíthatnak.. bármikor..

elolvasom

Véleményt kaphatok? Ha nem tetszik, akkor azt is írjátok meg nyugodtan.

My new friend, Melker the panda.

Idag har jag faktiskt  inte sovit till 4, istället har jag varit i skolan och haft engelska, sovit några timmar på dagen, och kollat på film. Engelsk grammatik är så jävla drygt, vilket jävla miffo kom egentligen på att singular på svenska ska va plural på engelska? Det är bara förvirrande.

Filmen heter Requiem for a Dream, och den var väldigt bra. Knarkig och flummig, en film helt i min smak.

Idag fick jag mig en ny vän, han heter Melker och råkar vara en panda.

Sömn är extremt överskattat, tänk vad mycket tid man förlorar egentligen. Skinny Puppy däremot är inte överskattade, de kan helt ärligt vara ett av världens bästa band.

Nem Tokio Hoteles, sőt még csak a karaktereik sem szerepelnek benne, csak megihletett a film zene.

Nem a novellához teszem fel, mert ez egy 5 részes mini történet lesz, főszerepben Anna Müllerrel. Előre szólok, hogy nem éppen vidám és optimista történet.

elolvasom

Véleményeket még mindig szeretnék kapni
Amúgy meg kell mondjam, azért írom most ezeket a kis izéket [novellákat meg mini történeteket], mert nem szeretnék kijönni az írás gyakorlatából és tényleg jó lenne ha kommenteznétek, mert szeretném tudni, hogy tetszenek-e, hogy örömmel olvassátok-e őket, vagy hogy kiváltanak-e belőletek valamilyen érzelmet – és közben remélem, hogy azért még el fogjátok olvasni ezt is, attól függetlenül, hogy nem TH-s.

Are these three trailers. Of course, there would be one thing to follow: the film itself. But it is almost unpredictable when it will be released here in Europe, since they do not state anything on the official website or on UFA Anime (the guys who published Evangelion 1.0 in Germany).

So, all we (as fans) can do is wait – and watch these three trailer which are very, very promising. By the way, someone gave me a link to somekind of camrip-version of Evangelion 2.0 – well, I do not need to say that I can and wil not watch such a film in such a poor quality. And especially when it comes to Evangelion I always have to say: BUY IT when it is available (and: you would not regret it)… !

So, no matter what the DVD will cost, I will buy it right away on its release date. I just hope that it will once again be a nice steelbook like the first one… but for now to the three trailers I collected for you (by the way, all of them include very nice music):

Mais versões:

requiem 4 a dream, u

]]> http://nvrmindit.wordpress.com/2009/10/24/requiem-for-a-dream-their-hearts-were-full-of-spring/ Sat, 24 Oct 2009 16:29:05 +0000 NvrMindIt http://nvrmindit.wordpress.com/2009/10/24/requiem-for-a-dream-their-hearts-were-full-of-spring/

Name of the movie : Requiem For A Dream

Director : Daron Aronofsky

Country : USA

Release Date : 21st March 2001 (France)

Cast : Ellen Burstyn (Sara Goldfarb), Jared Leto ( Harry Goldfarb), Jennifer Connely (Marion Silver), Marlon Wayans (Tyrone C. Love)

Plot : The hopes and dreams of four ambitious people are shattered when their drug addictions begin spiraling out of control.

Three acts. Three seasons.

Summer. That’s what you call a nice summer. Sara, a TV-addict, receives a phone call that tells her she’s gonna be on TV. Her son, Harry, spends nice days with his girlfriend, Marion, and his buddy, Ty. They have fun by getting high. They all have dreams : Sara’s is the TV, Harry and Marion want to open a shop and live peacefully together, Ty wants his mother to be proud of him.

Fall. Things begin to shatter. Sara wants to wear her old but nice red dress when she’ll be on TV, and so she starts a draconian diet and takes appetite suppressant pills, prescribed by some kind of ‘ I don’t care about my patients’ doctor.
Harry and Ty start a business by selling  drugs, and Harry can dream of buying Marion her local for her future clothes shop. But problems come when they don’t have dealers anymore, and they have to pay more money to get drugs. Addicted, they are frustrated and suffer from serious withdrawal symptoms.

Winter. Sara is desperate, and she’s ready to do anything in order to get thin. She starts taking several pills in the same time, and hallucinates, like the fridge wants to eat her… She ends up in an asylum.
To have money and get some cam, Marion has to sleep with, or rather as she says it, get raped by her step father, and then with some other freaking pervy dealer. She argues with Harry, Harry leaves with Tyrone but Harry got too addicted, and after pricking himself so much, he suffers a lot; his arm looks ugly, they decide to go to the hospital, but when the doctors understand they’re junkies and dealers, they get arrested. Ty goes to prison, Harry goes to the hospital, and he has to give up his left arm in order to live.

Drugs, pills, TV… They all led those four characters to despair.

This movie is about dreams, and how desperate you can be to achieve them. Because yes, even though they were junkies, all they wanted in the first place AND until the end, was to fulfill their dreams. During the whole movie, you see those four people fall into the darkness, and what is dreadfully wonderful is that the actors performances and the filming were so great that you could actually perfectly know what they felt, without any words. You see, sense and experience Marion’s feeling when she had to sell herself a second time. When Sara explains why she needs TV, it makes your heart wrench, and you know that it does the same to Harry. When Tyrone thinks about his mother, he doesn’t even need words to explain to us that he wants to catch up with his mother’s expectations. And it is obvious that Marion and Harry just want a little piece of heaven.

Indeed, this movie may be dramatic,yet  it still deals with love, and when you see in the summer part how Marion and Harry are together, how they tease each other, cheer each other, you receive a huge feeling of love. And this feeling stays, despite the drugs, the prostitution (and isn’t it worse than prostitution ?), until the very end of the movie, when Harry is in the hospital after his surgery and dreams of Marion disappearing from his life… Let’s not forget the motherly love Sara holds for Harry, who also wants to meet his mother’s expectations, worries about her, loves her… He wants to have a better life for Marion and himself, but also for his mother.

In the end, they end up alone, tired, desperate, almost dead. This is a tragedy; but this is life.

My advice : If you haven’t seen it yet, do it now, because this is a super huge must-see movie that will impress you. At least, it impressed me. But that’s only my opinion.

K.

By Kirsty Topping 20 October 09

People without experience of depression fear the condition. It does not help that sufferers are sometimes thought of as violent and it is this reason that people are afraid to admit to thei suffering for fear of being branded in a certain way. What they really have to remember is that depression is a treatable disorder. The recovery rates for any mental health problem is between 70% and 80% and suffers can live a normal life with proper help.

Treatment of depression varies broadly and is different for each individual. Various types and combinations of treatments may have to be tried, but but may not provide a complete solution to the problem. There are two primary modes of treatment, typically used in conjunction: medication and psychotherapy. A third treatment, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), may be used when chemical treatment fails.

A patient undergoes ECT

Other alternative treatments used for depression include exercise and the use of vitamins, herbs, or other nutritional supplements. The effectiveness of treatment often depends on factors such as the amount of optimism and hope the sufferer is able to maintain, the control s/he has over stressors, the severity of symptoms, the amount of time the sufferer has been depressed, the results of previous treatments, and the degree of support of family, friends, and significant others.

Although treatment is generally effective, in some cases the condition does not respond. Treatment-resistant depression warrants a full assessment, which may lead to the addition of psychotherapy, higher medication dosages, changes of medication or combination therapy, a trial of ECT/electroshock, or even a change in the diagnosis, with subsequent treatment changes. Although this process helps many, some people’s symptoms continue unabated.

In emergencies, psychiatric hospitalization is used simply to keep suicidal people safe until they cease to be dangers to themselves. Another treatment program is partial hospitalization where the patient sleeps at home but spends the day, either five or seven days a week, in a psychiatric hospital setting in intense treatment. This treatment usually involves group therapy, individual therapy, psychopharmacology, and academics (in child and adolescent programs).

Medication to relieve the symptoms of depression has been available for several decades. Normally the first kind of treatment that will be tried is a type of drug called a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are a family of antidepressant considered to be the current standard of drug treatment. It is thought that one cause of depression is an inadequate amount of serotonin, a chemical used in the brain to transmit signals between neurons. SSRIs are said to work by preventing the reabsorption of serotonin by the nerve cell, thus maintaining the levels the brain needs to function effectively.

This family of drugs includes fluoxetine (Prozac), paroxetine (Paxil), escitalopram (Lexapro), citalopram (Celexa), and sertraline (Zoloft). These antidepressants typically have fewer adverse side effects than other drugs, although such effects as drowsiness, dry mouth, nervousness, anxiety, insomnia, decreased appetite, and decreased ability to function sexually may occur. Some side effects may decrease as a person adjusts to the drug, but other side effects may be persistent.

In psychotherapy the patient receives assistance in understanding and resolving any habits and problems that may be contributing to or the cause of the depression. Effective psychotherapy may result in the individual developing different habitual thoughts and actions, which leads to a lower relapse rate than antidepressant drugs alone. Medication, however, may yield quicker results and be strongly indicated in a crisis. Medication and psychotherapy are generally complementary, and both may be used at the same time. Under some circumstances, medication and psychotherapy may be more effective than either treatment used on its own.

Electroconvulsive therapy is one of the most misunderstood treatments for depression. While it is generally used only in severe or life-threatening cases where medication and therapy haven’t worked, ECT can be effective. ECT works by sending an electrical charge (typically fixed at 0.9 ampere) to the brain that causes a brief and controlled seizure.

A former patient regards his experience of ECT as a positive one: “The darkness is now over. I had been slowly going down-hill for months. I was on countless medications including Lithium and had gained over two stone within six months. The medications weren’t working, and I had lost all hope. But finally, I was offered ECT. I had heard about it before, but wasn’t really sure about the procedure. I searched the internet, but found conflicting information. Most of what I saw was against the practice. After contemplating suicide for many days, I checked myself into the mental ward of a hospital and was given ECT.

“Before my first treatment, I was extremely nervous, but it went just fine. I was sick for a couple of hours after, due to the anesthesia and I had a migraine headache. I then had four more treatments throughout the next couple of weeks. Each became less uncomfortable and I now feel better than I ever have. I can now get out of bed and lead a normal life. I have so much motivation. Mentally, I feel sharp and alert.

“It is important people remember ECT is not nearly as scary as it is made out to be. The risks are very low, and it really works.”

Although the procedure may sound frightening, patients receive it while under general anaesthesia, and awaken with no memory of the procedure. Unlike medications and therapy, ECT tends to have an immediately positive effect on mood, which is why it can be so helpful for those at risk of suicide. Remember that – regardless of how it is sometimes shown in books and movies – ECT is usually a last resort.

ECT has acquired a fearsome reputation, in part from its use as a tool of repression in the former USSR and its barbaric fictional depiction in films such as One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Requiem for a Dream, but remains a common treatment where other means of treatment have failed or where the use of drugs is unacceptable.

Recently, repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation (rTMS) has been looked at as a possible treatment for depression. Initially designed as a tool for physiological studies of the brain, this technique shows promise as a means of alleviating depression. This therapy uses a powerful magnetic field to stimulate the left prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain that typically shows abnormal activity in depressed people.

Recent work in Poland suggested that weak, variable magnetic fields may offer relief from depression in those who have not responded to medication.

Bright light (both sunlight and artificial light) is shown to be effective in seasonal affective disorder, and it is widely believed that physical activity and exercise help depressed patients and promote quicker and better relief from depression. They are also thought to help antidepressants and psychotherapy work better and faster. Lack of motivation, however can prevent the sufferer from taking part in such an activity.

While depression is extremely treatable there is reluctance for people to seek treatment when feeling low, such is the stigma attached to mental illnesses. However, this attitude is slowly being changed with the help of campaigns such as the “see me” campaign and the fact that many high profile celebrities are admitting to suffering from mental ill health.

In the final part of this series, we will look at what has been done to challenge the stigma attached to mental illness.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Depression 3 part series:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Gerade habe ich den Film Smokin’ Aces geschaut. Ich weiß, nicht gerade neu, aber mir ist er halt eben erst unter die Augen gekommen. Seltsamerweise ist mir an 2 oder 3 Stellen im Film der Gedanke an ein Lied gekommen, das an den jeweiligen Stellen gut gepasst hätte.

Ich erinnerte mich an ein Lied aus dem Film Requiem for a dream – ein sehr drastischer Drogen-Film mit einem, wie ich finde, einmaligen Soundtrack. Dummerweise fiel mir der Komponist nicht mehr ein, aber die Melodie steckt fest in meinem Kopf und dürften wohl die meisten Film-Fans schon einmal gehört haben. Es handelt sich um Lux Aeterna, gespielt vom Kronos Quartett.
Was eigentlich seltsam ist, denn der Film ähnelt nicht wirklich Requiem for a dream. Er versucht vielmehr eine Mischung aus cooler Action, freakigen Charakteren und cleveren Wendungen zu sein. Eine Kreuzung aus Shoot ‘em Up und den Ocean’s-Filmen.

Gerade die End-Sequenz von Smokin’ Aces ist jedoch so geschnitten, dass sie fantastisch mit Lux Aeterna harmonieren würde. Was ich dann im Abspann sah, sorgte dann doch für einen kleinen Moment des Schocks. “Music by Clint Mansell”. Also dem Mann, der Lux Aeterna für Requiem for a dream geschrieben hat.

Creepy, huh?

Perfect Strangers was not that good a show, but it had it’s moments. It certainly was never serious, but if all you ever saw was this mashup, you wouldn’t know that. The music is from Requiem for a Dream and I think if you played the music with any video clip it would seem very serious and intense. If you want some more Bronson Pinchot (the dude who played Balki) read this interview from the AV Club. Some interesting insights into Tom Cruise and Denzel Washington.

People without experience of depression fear the condition. It does not help that sufferers are sometimes thought of as violent and it is this reason that people are afraid to admit to their suffering for fear of being branded in a certain way. What they really have to remember is that depression is a treatable disorder. The recovery rates for any mental health problem is between 70% and 80% and suffers can live a normal life with proper help.

Treatment of depression varies broadly and is different for each individual. Various types and combinations of treatments may have to be tried, but but may not provide a complete solution to the problem. There are two primary modes of treatment, typically used in conjunction: medication and psychotherapy. A third treatment, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), may be used when chemical treatment fails.

A patient undergoes ECT

Other alternative treatments used for depression include exercise and the use of vitamins, herbs, or other nutritional supplements. The effectiveness of treatment often depends on factors such as the amount of optimism and hope the sufferer is able to maintain, the control s/he has over stressors, the severity of symptoms, the amount of time the sufferer has been depressed, the results of previous treatments, and the degree of support of family, friends, and significant others.

Although treatment is generally effective, in some cases the condition does not respond. Treatment-resistant depression warrants a full assessment, which may lead to the addition of psychotherapy, higher medication dosages, changes of medication or combination therapy, a trial of ECT/electroshock, or even a change in the diagnosis, with subsequent treatment changes. Although this process helps many, some people’s symptoms continue unabated.

In emergencies, psychiatric hospitalization is used simply to keep suicidal people safe until they cease to be dangers to themselves. Another treatment program is partial hospitalization where the patient sleeps at home but spends the day, either five or seven days a week, in a psychiatric hospital setting in intense treatment. This treatment usually involves group therapy, individual therapy, psychopharmacology, and academics (in child and adolescent programs).

Medication to relieve the symptoms of depression has been available for several decades. Normally the first kind of treatment that will be tried is a type of drug called a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are a family of antidepressant considered to be the current standard of drug treatment. It is thought that one cause of depression is an inadequate amount of serotonin, a chemical used in the brain to transmit signals between neurons. SSRIs are said to work by preventing the reabsorption of serotonin by the nerve cell, thus maintaining the levels the brain needs to function effectively.

This family of drugs includes fluoxetine (Prozac), paroxetine (Paxil), escitalopram (Lexapro), citalopram (Celexa), and sertraline (Zoloft). These antidepressants typically have fewer adverse side effects than other drugs, although such effects as drowsiness, dry mouth, nervousness, anxiety, insomnia, decreased appetite, and decreased ability to function sexually may occur. Some side effects may decrease as a person adjusts to the drug, but other side effects may be persistent.

In psychotherapy the patient receives assistance in understanding and resolving any habits and problems that may be contributing to or the cause of the depression. Effective psychotherapy may result in the individual developing different habitual thoughts and actions, which leads to a lower relapse rate than antidepressant drugs alone. Medication, however, may yield quicker results and be strongly indicated in a crisis. Medication and psychotherapy are generally complementary, and both may be used at the same time. Under some circumstances, medication and psychotherapy may be more effective than either treatment used on its own.

Electroconvulsive therapy is one of the most misunderstood treatments for depression. While it is generally used only in severe or life-threatening cases where medication and therapy haven’t worked, ECT can be effective. ECT works by sending an electrical charge (typically fixed at 0.9 ampere) to the brain that causes a brief and controlled seizure.

A former patient regards his experience of ECT as a positive one: “The darkness is now over. I had been slowly going down-hill for months. I was on countless medications including Lithium and had gained over two stone within six months. The medications weren’t working, and I had lost all hope. But finally, I was offered ECT. I had heard about it before, but wasn’t really sure about the procedure. I searched the internet, but found conflicting information. Most of what I saw was against the practice. After contemplating suicide for many days, I checked myself into the mental ward of a hospital and was given ECT.

“Before my first treatment, I was extremely nervous, but it went just fine. I was sick for a couple of hours after, due to the anesthesia and I had a migraine headache. I then had four more treatments throughout the next couple of weeks. Each became less uncomfortable and I now feel better than I ever have. I can now get out of bed and lead a normal life. I have so much motivation. Mentally, I feel sharp and alert.

“It is important people remember ECT is not nearly as scary as it is made out to be. The risks are very low, and it really works.”

Although the procedure may sound frightening, patients receive it while under general anaesthesia, and awaken with no memory of the procedure. Unlike medications and therapy, ECT tends to have an immediately positive effect on mood, which is why it can be so helpful for those at risk of suicide. Remember that – regardless of how it is sometimes shown in books and movies – ECT is usually a last resort.

ECT has acquired a fearsome reputation, in part from its use as a tool of repression in the former USSR and its barbaric fictional depiction in films such as One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Requiem for a Dream, but remains a common treatment where other means of treatment have failed or where the use of drugs is unacceptable.

Recently, repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation (rTMS) has been looked at as a possible treatment for depression. Initially designed as a tool for physiological studies of the brain, this technique shows promise as a means of alleviating depression. This therapy uses a powerful magnetic field to stimulate the left prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain that typically shows abnormal activity in depressed people.

Recent work in Poland suggested that weak, variable magnetic fields may offer relief from depression in those who have not responded to medication.

Bright light (both sunlight and artificial light) is shown to be effective in seasonal affective disorder, and it is widely believed that physical activity and exercise help depressed patients and promote quicker and better relief from depression. They are also thought to help antidepressants and psychotherapy work better and faster. Lack of motivation, however can prevent the sufferer from taking part in such an activity.

While depression is extremely treatable there is reluctance for people to seek treatment when feeling low, such is the stigma attached to mental illnesses. However, this attitude is slowly being changed with the help of campaigns such as the “see me” campaign and the fact that many high profile celebrities are admitting to suffering from mental ill health.

In the final part of this series, we will look at what has been done to challenge the stigma attached to mental illness.

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Depression 3 part series:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Requiem for a Dream – Part Three
Minden kezdet nehéz

- Tessék? – Néztem rá megilletődve. Nem szoktam hozzá, hogy idegen emberek kérdezgessenek az életemről, még ha a kérdés csak az esti terveimre is irányult.
- Nincs kedved egyet lazulni? – Mosolygott egy nagyot a lány, majd a pultos srác felé fordult – Charlie, áll még a mai buli?
Újra visszafordultam a kávémhoz, majd azon gondolkodtam, hogy tulajdonképpen az én esti tervem mára az alvás volt. Rettentő mód fáradt voltam, egész nap semmit nem ettem, sőt, ez csak most jutott eszembe, hogy a mai nap első kávéját iszom még csak.
A lány és a pultos még halkan beszélgettek valamit, aztán végül Jasmine odafordult hozzám:
- Ma lesz egy kis összejövetel nem messze innen, egy klubban – nézett rám, én pedig felhúztam a szemöldököm. Hol érdekel ez engem? – Van kedved jönni?
- Hát – mondtam halkan -, megbeszélem a menedzseremmel. Tudod, a média nagyon követ és nem biztos, hogy jó, ha megyek – játszottam ki azt, amit mindig ilyenkor.
Semmi kedvem nem volt elmenni velük, jópofizni vagy bájcsevegni. Felálltam, hogy menjek, és megkeressem Jant, hogy menjünk végre hazafele, mert éreztem, hogy már nem sokáig bírok a lábamon állni. Jasmine felém nyújtotta a kezét hirtelen, mire én ösztönösen hátrébb léptem, de csak a névjegykártyáját adta oda.
- Hívj fel, ha beszéltél a menedzsereddel, rajta van a mobilszámom – mosolygott.
- Oké – magabiztos(nak tűnő) léptekkel kimentem a teremből és Jan keresésére indultam.

Negyed óra múlva, már Jan kocsijában, szórakozottan forgattam az ujjaim között a névjegykártyát. Igazából még jó, hogy nem csak a mobilszámát adta meg, mert különben nem emlékeztem volna a lány nevére, annyira nem érdekelt ez az egész.
- Mi az? – Bökött Jan a kis kártya felé, mikor megunta az öt perce tartó játékom.
- Egy lány adta – Jan felhúzta a szemöldökét. – Azt mondta, hívjam fel, ha eldöntöttem, hogy akarok-e menni bulizni – mondtam furcsa hangsúllyal, majd összegyűrtam a markomba a kártyát és ki akartam dobni a hamutartóba, de Jan megállította a kezem.
- Menned kéne – meglepetten néztem rá.
- Dehogy kéne… Fáradt vagyok – mondtam ki az első indokot, ami eszembe jutott.
Jan mosolyogva nézett rám. Ismert már eléggé ahhoz, hogy átlásson rajtam.
- Kik lesznek még ott? – Kérdezte.
- Fogalmam sincs, gondolom, hogy a barátnői, meg az a pultos srác.
- Hívd fel, és mondd meg neki, hogy mész. Elkísérlek.
- Dehogy megyek! – Kiáltottam fel.
- De igen, Anna – mondta ellentmondást nem tűrően Jan. – Egész nap mást sem csinálsz, mint pózolsz a kamera előtt, vagy divatbemutatókon rohangálsz. Tizenhét éves vagy, már egy éve ismerlek és még egyszer sem hallottam tőled, hogy valakit helyesnek mondanál, soha nem mentél bulizni, inkább fekszel az ágyadban naphosszat – nézett rám.
Igaza volt. Tudtam pontosan, hogy milyen vagyok, de hát mit tehettem volna ellene?
Egyszerűen… nem voltak érzéseim. Ha meg is lepődtem, vagy mosolyogtam, azok csak reakciók voltak. Ha valaki tett egy hirtelen mozdulatot, megijedtem és ösztönből arébb ugrottam – de nem féltem tőle.
Bólintottam egyet: – De azért még hazamehetek aludni?
- Persze – mosolyodott el kedvesen Jan és megsimogatta a kezem.

Mikor hazaértünk, bementem a szobámba, bekapcsoltam a tévét és befeküdtem az ágyba. Hallgattam valami dokumentumfilmet a II. világháborúról, ami elég érdekes volt, de aztán mégis elaludtam. Álmomban én is harcoltam, de meglőttek. Már majdnem meghaltam, mikor Jan felébresztett.
- Hé, Tündérke, fel kéne kelni – simogatta meg finoman az arcom, mire elmosolyodtam.
- Mennyi az idő? – Kérdeztem rekedt hangon.
- Fél nyolc. – Aztán újra rám nézett és folytatta: – engedelmeddel felhívtam Jasminet, hogy mindketten megyünk.
Elmosolyodtam, mintha örültem volna neki, de azért finom hangúllyal megjegyeztem: – Nem kellett volna.
- Tudom – dobott egy mosolyt felém, aztán elindult ki a szobából, de az ajtóban megállt és visszafordult – Na, öltözz fel szépen, fél óra és megyünk.
Bólintottam és még egy picit visszafeküdtem.
Gondolkodtam az álmomon. Vajon milyen lehet meghalni?

Jan és én valami fura nevű club előtt álltunk meg, ahonnan nagyon hangos zene hallatszódott ki, emberek cigiztek előtte és két izmos férfi állta el a bejáratot. Jan megfogta a kezem, és odavezetett a kidobóemberekhez, mire ők rámnéztek és kérdezés nélkül továbbengedtek.
Igazából először azt gondoltam, hogy biztosan felismertek, és akkor tudniuk kell, hogy még nem múltam el 18, de aztán arra jutottam, hogy mégis csak én vagyok Anna Müller, szóval nem fognak belénk kötni.
Én még körül sem néztem, mikor megjelent mellettem Jasmine:
- Szia – adott két puszit, mire kissé felhúzott szemöldökkel és undorral az arcomon fordultam Jan felé, de ő keményen nézett rám, úgyhogy kényszeredetten elmosolyodtam és visszanéztem Jasmine-re:
- Jasmine, Jan; Jan, Jasmine – mutattam be őket egymásnak, aztán nem is foglalkozva velük körbenéztem a helységben.
Mindenhol lányok vonaglottak, kocsányon lógó szemű pasik bámulták őket, egy-két ember pedig a kanapékon smárolt.
Szörnyű hely volt.
- … A VIP-teremben vagyunk – hallottam meg Jasmine hangját, majd azonnal karon ragadott és elhúzott Jan mellől. Ijedten néztem hátra, de már sehol sem láttam őt. Jasmine rendíthetetlenül vágott magunknak utat az emberek között, egy pillantásra sem méltatva a férfiak akaratos és a lányok féltékeny tekinteteit.

Azt hittem, hogy a VIP-terem egy sokkal nagyobb, még több lámpával felszerelt óriási terem lesz. Ehelyett Jasmine csak rámosolygott egy függöny előtt álló biztonsági őrre, akit szemlátomást nagyon régről ismert, mire az őr elhúzta előttünk a függönyt és a szemem elé tárult az eddigi legfurcsább VIP-terem.
Nem is teremnek mondanám, inkább egy szobának. Olyan volt, mint egy nagy nappali szoba, sok kanapéval, viszonylag kis tánctérrel és egy furán megvilágított bárral.
- Üdvözöllek a Mennyországban – mosolygott rám Jasmine, majd elvett az átjáró mellett álló pincértől két Martinit, az egyiket a kezembe nyomta és rögtön az egyik kanapéhoz húzott, ahol két lány ült négy srác társaságában. – Ők itt Lily és Christi, a srácok pedig… Aaron, Colin, Blake és Devon.
Nem akartam őt megzavarni, annyira nyilvánvaló volt, hogy a fiúk nevén gondolkodnia kellett – de úgy sem fogom egyik nevet sem megjegyezni.
Amint a szőke lány meglátott, felcsillant a szeme, mellém ugrott és karon ragadott:
- Te vagy a példaképem!
Meglepetten néztem rá.
- Hogy mi vagyok?
- Lily, ne most – szólt rá Jasmine, mire a lány lesütötte a szemét és leült. Jasmine rám nézett – Bocs, kicsit kattant a csaj, de amúgy jó fej – súgta oda halkan, majd lehajtotta a Martinit egy kortyra.
Elhúztam a számat.
Meg kéne keresnem Jant és szólni neki, hogy menjünk haza.

Negyed óra telt el azóta, hogy Jasmine berángatott ebbe a szarba. Azóta semmit nem csináltam, csak ültem és néztem ki a fejemből.
Jasmine leült mellém, majd hozzám kezdett el beszélni, de igazából nem figyeltem rá, eléggé semmilyen témáról dumált.
Aztán észrevettem, hogy már megint egy koktélos pohár van a kezében, amiben meg valami világító kék lötty.
A pohár felé böktem és megszólaltam:
- Abban sok a kalória, nem?
- Hm, tessék? – Úgy látszik, megszakítottam őt a mondata közepén. Mindegy. Újra a pohárra mutattam. – Ja, hogy ez. Hát igen, de nagyon finom, egy este akár tizet is simán megiszom belőle.
Végig néztem a lányon, nagyon vékony volt.
- Hogy maradsz ilyen sovány? – Kérdeztem meglepődve.
- Ó, ezzel – vett ki egy tasakot a zsebéből, amiben egy kis fehér por volt.
Felhúztam a szemöldököm.
- Nem ismered? – Nézett rám meglepetten. – Azt hittem, te is emiatt vagy ilyen vékony – mondta.
Egy drogos kurvának gondolt?
- Ő itt a kokain, Szépségem – mondta nagy bölcsen és felém nyújtotta. Megráztam a fejem.
- Nem, kösz.
- Ahogy gondolod – rántotta meg a vállát.
Elővette a cigis dobozát, meggyújtott egy szálat, a füstöt pedig elfújta mellettem, de mégis így is éreztem azt az émelyítő, hányingerkeltő, anyámra emlékeztető szagot.
Elfintorodtam.
- Még soha nem is cigiztél? – Nézett rám teljesen meghökkenve.
Megráztam a fejem, mire ő felém nyújtotta az égő cigit.
- Nem, nem akarom ki próbálni.
Elsárgulnak a fogaim, aztán még abban az egy szakmában sem fogok munkát kapni, amiben legalább tehetséges vagyok.
- Ugyan már, egyszer mindent ki kell próbálni – újra felém nyújtotta, de mivel így is eléggé vonakodtam, ő tette a kezembe. – Gyerünk – bólintott. – Szívd be, mintha csak levegőt vennél.
Fogalmam sincs, hogy mi ütött belém, de a számhoz emeltem a szálat. Pedig annyiszor hallottam anyám köhögését, annyira undorodtam a szagától is, még szinte mindig éreztem az orromban, emlékeztem a pulcsim illatára, hogy milyen volt… Büdös, cigiszagú és elviselhetetlen.
Aztán mégis beleszívtam.
Először nagyon rossz volt, hirtelen köhögnöm kellett, de aztán lebírtam ezt az érzést, majd egy fél perc múlva kifújtam a füstöt.
- Hm, szép. Azt hittem köhögni fogsz – mosolyodott el Jasmine. – Megnyugottál kissé?
- Semmi különöset nem éreztem – mondtam.
- Majd akkor ettől – újra kivette a zsebéből a zacskót.
Elhúztam a számat, de aztán valahogy bizsergést éreztem – izgulni kezdtem. Vajon milyen lehet? Vajon mit éreznék? Éreznék-e egyáltalán valamit?
Jasmine látva a változást az arcomon, kiborított egy kis port az asztalra, ami fehérlett az amúgy majdnem sötét szobában. Látszólag senki nem foglalkozott velünk, gondolom ez itt minden napos – elvégre ez itt a VIP-terem.
Elvett egy kártyát az asztalról – abban a fura fényben, ami néha-néha felvillant a szobában, mintha azon is megcsillant volna némi por maradványa – és egyengetni kezdte a port szép, egyenes sorokba. Mikor ezzel végzett, elvette a kártya mellől azt a darab papírpénzt, szívókát formált belőle, majd az első sort felszipantotta az orrával – még így is maradt három. Aztán a másodikat is felszívta, kicsit megdörzsölte az orrát, még egyet szippantott – ezúttal csak a levegőből -, felém nyújtotta a szívókát és egy pillanatra becsukta a szemét, aztán rám mosolygott.
- Te jössz. – Mivel látta, hogy még vonakodom, hozzá tette: – Soványabb lehetsz tőle, megöli az éhségérzetet. Hallottam, hogy ma Mark azt mondta, hogy kövér vagy – adta meg az utolsó löketet.
Nem voltam abban biztos, hogy nekem ezt valóban meg kéne tennem, de már a látványától is kíváncsi lettem – és vékonyabb lehetek…
Az orrlyukamhoz emeltem a szívókát, mélyet szippantottam és vártam a hatást.